Author: Lauri Ann Lumby

The World Needs You

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Desperately!

As we are finding our way through the great collapse, I am reminded of how now is not a time to shy away. Instead, “all hands on deck” is imperative. But not necessarily in the way that our capitalistic conditioning would have us believe. Instead, we are invited to look deep within ourselves to be reminded of our true uniqueness and how we are called to bring that forth.

Each and everyone of us is uniquely gifted to participate in the collapse of the empire. Some are being hospice for the dying world- tending to the grief that comes when things are coming to an end, providing comfort, hope, and pain relief. Some are visionaries – imagining what a new world might look like. Some are prophetic messengers – pointing out the truths that no one wants to admit. Some are revealers – pulling back the veil of illusion so that the sometimes difficult truth can be seen. Some are healers, providing care and support for those who are hurting. Some are beacons who simply by their presence are leading and guiding people to truth and love. Some are gatherers – bringing forth community for a common cause. Some are builders – creating something new out of the ash of the old. Then we have our artists, writers, poets, musicians, dancers, etc. – all those who communicate despair, frustration, rage, beauty and hope through their arts so that all we are feeling in the midst of the collapse might be given expression.  

These are the gifts we want to acknowledge. But, beyond perceived separation there is unity and wholeness. From the perspective of wholeness, even that which we might judge as evil or destructive is also playing its role in the story of the great collapse. These men and women are showing us what is in need of healing among us. They are showing us the lies and deceptions upon which this empire was built. They are showing us our greed, our gluttony, our lust for power, and the truth of our envious natures. They are reflecting back to us corruption, prejudice, and hatred. They are living out their pre-ordained roles as harbingers of truth – the truths we don’t really want to see or acknowledge about ourselves. It is only in seeing the truth of our woundedness as a species that we can begin to bring forth healing.

The journey is difficult, but the destination is the same. No matter what role we are playing in this drama, it is all leading to the same place.  The place and the destination is LOVE. Whether that Love is something we uncover within ourselves, or something we come together to build, it is all the same. We came here for the purpose of Love, to come to know Love, to heal all the barriers to that Love, and then to live out that Love. Experiencing life is how we get there – each in our own unique way.

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Unable to Make Plans

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

The most surreal experience I have had (am having) in my life is living through the collapse of an empire. In case you haven’t noticed:  ROME IS BURNING.  In this case, “Rome” is every single thing in our world that has been built on a foundation of fear, power, and control.  It is all collapsing with the United States seemingly leading the charge.

Times of collapse are both a death and a birth. Old systems and the world as we have known it is falling away while new systems are trying to be born. Collapse is a time of great unrest, and when we remember to look, a time of great hope. Those who have benefitted from the old system cling, and fight, and grieve. Those who have suffered from the system are hoping for something new.

Currently we are living on the shifting sands of the collapse. Nothing makes sense. The truly bizarre and insane seem to hold reign while reason and sanity seem to have left the room. Every moment of every day is an exercise in shock and surprise.  “What the hell is happening,” we wonder.

Living through a collapse is like John Mulaney’s analogy of a “horse loose in the hospital.”  We never know what the horse might do, and we are surprised at the things it is able to do, and dumbfounded by the basic essential human skills that seem to be lacking. While John Mulaney wrote this bit about Donald Trump, it isn’t just about him. It is truly about the entire system – that which serves the needs of the very wealthy while leaving everyone else behind.

Normal people are anxious, angry, and afraid. We have a right to be. What about our rights? What about our needs? What about the economy and the cost of housing? What about education and healthcare? What are we to do and how are we to prepare for the possible worst?

The answer is:  WE CAN’T!  A system in collapse, by definition, is unpredictable, volatile, and potentially violent (think earthquake or hurricane). A collapsing system touches on every single thing to which we have become accustomed. On the other side of the collapse, likely nothing will look the same. We don’t even know what our currency for exchange will be, our sources of energy, our models of education and healthcare, banking, commerce, entertainment, religion, etc. etc. etc.  EVERY SINGLE SYSTEM will fall and be rebuilt – but into what we do not yet know. In truth – the new world will not be mine (Gen X) to build. Neither will it likely be built by Millennials. Gen Z and Gen Alpha, and those yet to come will be awarded this task – but not until the current has painfully and finally come to an end.

In the meantime – we wait. We watch. We bear witness. We keep ourselves and our loved ones safe. We do what we need to care for ourselves. We get out of the way of the collapsing system and we let it fall.

And we live radically IN THE PRESENT MOMENT, for there is nothing for which we can plan. We meet each moment as it comes to us. We respond accordingly. And for the love of all things, we refrain from the normal human reactions to fear: clinging to the need to control. We cannot control the collapse. Neither can we control what will follow. Instead, we live for this present moment and nothing more. Only by doing so will we survive the ebb and flow of the collapse  – not by the skin of our teeth – but in the peaceful state of acceptance by surrendering to what is.

While always and in every moment being and choosing Love.

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Being Love in a Divided World

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We live in a divided world. Divided by gender, sexual orientation, race, nationality, religion, and politics – to name a few. When viewed as sacred differences that make each of us uniquely special, these differences serve us. When treated as something to be judged or feared, these divisions cause us harm, leading to prejudice, hatred, violence, and war.

Our differences are meant to be our gifts, instead humanity has turned them into the cause of hate. Hatred, however, is a choice. We can continue to choose hate, which leads to the devolution of humanity, and our eventual extinction; or we can choose Love and be witness to and participants in the grand evolution of human consciousness which would lead to all kinds of miracles – the likes of which we can hardly begin to imagine.

I choose Love.

Choosing Love, however, is no simple task. In fact, it has taken me a lifetime to even come close to being the Love that I truly want to be in the world. My version of Being Love is by no means perfect. There are people I continue to despise. There are experiences and situations that hurl me into a rage. There are times I want to say or do the unkind thing. I’m still human after all.  I don’t, however, act on the surface feelings of my unhealed wounds, neither do I purposefully cause harm. Choosing Love is a moment by moment task.

Choosing Love is also a lifetime process. This process begins by learning to identify every obstacle in front of, and within us, to love. Then we are invited to enter into the arduous task of clearing those obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are the result of human conditioning – the ways in which we were taught to be and act in our family systems, our communities, our culture, our society, our world. Sometimes identifying our conditioning is simple and the choice to move past that conditioning is easy. Other times, it can be quite complicated as our conditioning is often subtle, even unconscious.

Beyond conditioning, the obstacles to love are all the places within us where we have been wounded. These wounds include times were felt betrayed, where our needs were ignored or denied, where we were criticized or condemned for who we are, where we felt unloved or were treated in non-loving ways. These wounds include past abuse, rejection, and times our love was met with hate. These unhealed wounds are, in turn, the cause of our own non-loving behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs.

Division is a choice.  So too is Love. Choosing Love begins by choosing Love for ourselves, and doing to the deep and challenging work of healing the inner obstacles to knowing and being that Love. As we transform ourselves, we are more free to be Love and being that Love plants the seeds of inspiration for others to do the same. When we are faced with Division, Choose Love. When challenged by hate, choose Love. When our unhealed wounds are triggered by the unhealed wounds of another, choose the loving thing and heal our wounds.

As our world appears to be increasingly divided, we can choose to participate in that division, or we can choose to Be Love.

I choose Love.

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The Future I Envision

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 1 Comment

I’m going to start this off by acknowledging that I am not from here!  Geographically this has always been true. I was born in California, but I wasn’t from there. We moved a lot in my childhood, and I continued that in my adult life. No matter where I’ve been, I’ve been an outsider, an interloper, an alien.

The same is true as it relates to the human race. I’m not human. I can’t possibly be because I don’t do or experience things the way so-called normal people do. I cannot tolerate much of what humanity seems to be ok with. I see no place for division, cruelty, selfishness, or greed. I see no reason for human beings to not cooperate with each other in making sure that all humans are fed, housed, clothed, healthy, and safe. And yet, for all of history humans have been fighting over land, food, resources, beliefs, whose God is the real God, etc. etc. etc. I don’t get it.

I’m not from here. As a result, I have a very different perspective on how life can and (in my mind) should be. It’s the reality that I know in the deepest parts of my soul. Perhaps where I come from, people know how to get along. I know it’s possible because perhaps I’ve lived it. It is the potential I see for humanity, if only they would be willing to try.

Creating a different kind of world, however, means the end of what humanity has known. This was what I saw in the prophetic dream I had at five years old. I saw the end of the world (as humanity has known it), along with necessary tools for bringing humanity around.

The tools were simple: honesty, integrity, cooperation, and collaboration. To create a new world from the one that is currently destroying itself, there is no room for division. Human beings must come together, no longer for their own selfish needs or desires, but for the sake of the good of the all. Nothing short of this will suffice.

To borrow from John Lennon, for humans to live in peace, we can no longer separate by religion, nation, gender, or race. We must eliminate caste. We must become equal while celebrating our uniqueness. Those who have must share with those unable to provide for themselves. We must make better use of our resources and become stewards, and not destroyers, of the earth. We must become one body with many parts working together so that all might not only survive, but thrive. We must seek out and harness each other’s unique gifts, nurturing and cultivating them for the benefit of the all. We must see our fellow humans as ourselves and treat them with the care and respect we want others to offer to us.

While many will argue with me that humans have always been as humans are. Perhaps, but I believe that humans are capable of being and doing so much better. Some will suggest that nothing has ever changed and therefore never will. I disagree. Throughout human history there have been instances of humans living in cooperation and peace. This reality lives in humanity’s collective memory if they would only take the time to seek it out.

Would a world such as this require loss. Most definitely. The loss, however, will only be that which has been made out of fear. Systems that hold humanity imprisoned will need to be dismantled. Some might not like what they will be forced to let go and they will resist. By that time, however, there may not be much left to hang on too. The system is collapsing whether humanity sees it or wants it. The system is a divided house that cannot stand and with each encroaching year, humanity is bearing witness to the collapse. Grief being what it is, many may remain in denial, but the fact remains.

The world as humanity has known it is collapsing and a new world is trying to be born. The young people know this and feel it in every fiber of their being. New breeds of humans are being born to hasten the collapse and are at the ready to build something new in its place. The new world that is wanting to be born is made of Love, not fear. It is the world I know and the world I know humanity is capable of building for itself.

May it be so.

Reaching Across the Divide

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

This morning, I can finally breathe after an intense week of US presidential elections, learning the results and processing those results. For some it has been a week of victory, for others shock, trauma, and grief. For all of us, we are now faced with a decision about how to move forward. Do we move forward divided, or do we move forward with love?

I choose love.

That is not to say that I am not concerned. I am concerned – especially for the safety of the vulnerable among us, perhaps even for our own safety. I also have worries about services upon which I depend being taken away. I worry about the safety of women, especially as it relates to reproductive care. I worry about my gay and trans friends. For the latter worries especially, I say, I am an ally, an advocate, and a safe place.

As those whose candidate lost processed their grief, I too have been grieving. I’ve experienced all faces of that grief – shock, denial, bargaining, anger, depression and sorrow. Thursday I couldn’t stop crying. I allowed myself space to grieve while knowing that I would survive this too.

I’ve survived a lot and always at my darkest hour, something has stepped in that gives me hope and a reason to move on.

Yesterday, that “something” came in the form of an honest and intimate discussion with a dear friend who (as it turns out) voted differently than I. We had an open and non-judgmental question and answer conversation where we each shared why we chose the way we did. I learned a lot.  I believe they did too. Through this conversation, I was able to see where “my” party failed and where “their” candidate succeeded. I could see why “my” candidate wasn’t everyone’s choice. I was also reminded of the fact that political campaigns have very little, if anything, to do with policy. “My” candidate has a very different background from “their” candidate – who is a born salesman. Salespeople purposefully speak to the perceived needs and wants of those they want to win over. They don’t always mean what they say. In the end it’s a “I guess we’ll have to wait and see,” what is actually done – if anything.

Some may accuse me of being naïve. Perhaps I am. But more than anything, I refuse to participate in the ongoing force of division. I will not, as some Facebook posts have suggested, block friends or family who voted differently than I, simply because of their vote. I know many whose values are best reflected in traditional conservative politics. They cast their vote based on what is important to them. Many have only one or two policy points that secured their vote. Upon speaking with my friend, I shared their values on those points, and they shared with me the values that secured my vote. The people I love who voted for “the other” candidate are good people who are loving, kind, and generous. Why would I block them simply because they voted differently than I?

Division is the work of the enemy. Division is how we are conquered. Division causes us to believe each other is the enemy, instead of that which is seeking to conquer us.

Throughout this presidential campaign, division has been used as a weapon to distract us from the true enemy. The enemy is not my friends and loved ones who chose a different candidate. The enemy is that which causes us to turn our backs on our fellow human beings. The enemy is that which closes our ears to another’s needs. The enemy is that which insists we are right and “they” are wrong. The enemy is that which prevents us seeing the struggle of others and how that struggle might influence their political decisions. The enemy is a system that pits one side against the other and which seeks to control us through intimidation and fear. The enemy is a system that creates “haves” and “have nots.”

The enemy is the system. And the reality is that both parties are part of that system. Neither, in the end, will accomplish the work we all truly desire – which is a dismantling of the system – because they all depend upon it and thrive within it.

The system will prevail as long as we, the American people, are divided. If we truly want change in our world, we have to defy the system and its weapon of division. We need to reach across the chasm of the perceived divide and welcome each other to the table. We need to listen – deeply – to each other’s pain. We need to ask the difficult questions and listen to understand. We need to be the love for each other that we all so desperately need.

Instead of hate, we need to BE LOVE. Instead of cultivating division, we need to seek unity.

Instead of blocking or unfriending those who voted differently, we would benefit from asking why. We might find that we have much more in common than the differences we perceive.

At the end of the day, I believe we all (most of us anyway) want the same things – food on our table, a roof over our heads, clothing on our backs, meaningful work, to feel healthy and safe, and to know that we are loved. If I can do nothing else, at least I can be love, knowing that that alone can change another person’s life – maybe even my own.

Seeking Safety in a World Gone Mad

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

A couple side notes before I begin: 1) I realize my sense of feeling unsafe is NOTHING compared to those struggling to live in war zones or areas plagued by famine. 2) As a white, (somewhat) middle class American, by objective standards I’m safer than 90% of the people on the planet. 3) I have what I need to survive and for this I’m grateful. 4) This is for the empaths, who like me, get inexplicably panicky for no apparent reason except the state of our world. Now….I will proceed.

There’s a reason I don’t leave my home unless I absolutely have to. Yesterday I was reminded of this fact.

I was enjoying a cup of coffee at one of my normally safe places with dear friends. We were having a beautiful conversation when I noticed a white, older man, sitting alone at a table. He was wearing a MAGA hat (I have no problem with conservative values and “the party of Lincoln” Republicans…but this was something different). The hat, I could normally ignore. It was his t-shirt that I found disturbing. Across the front of his shirt was a message that said, “Traitors should be executed.” Below the message were portraits of President Biden, Vice President Harris, and Senator Ocasio-Cortez.  His shirt literally advocated for vigilante violence against these specific individuals!

Now here’s the deal – I saw him. I made note of his shirt. I could tell he was making other people nervous. I’m not sure if he was hoping to be confronted (in an obviously progressive setting) or just wanted to make a statement. He wasn’t there to do business as he was drinking from a single-serving bottle of wine he had stashed in his backpack. I didn’t have any specific feelings of fear, or even judgment of him. Instead, I felt sad.  I wondered what had happened to him in his life to cloak himself in such hate. Again, I didn’t really feel afraid, just sad.

That all changed as I left, however. As I walked out the door and to my car, I was suddenly overcome with panic. My heart started pounding, I felt dizzy and light headed. I could feel the edge of a panic attack. I got myself home, did some deep breathing, and eventually gave in and took a small dose of Lorazepam for anxiety.

Welcome to the life of an empath. Here I am, minding my own business, enjoying time with friends at my favorite place, not feeling a stitch of panic or anxiety of my own. But suddenly WHAM, I get blasted with what might have been my own delayed anxiety, but was definitely the anxiety of others, including that man. I was especially concerned for the employees of said-establishment who I could tell were nervous, and who could have potentially been targets for a certain kind of prejudice.

If you are an empath, you are familiar with these kinds of experiences. (I actually think all human beings are empathic – it’s just some who are acutely aware). Based on the SOS texts I’ve been getting and my own personal experiences, these empathic experiences are increasing in frequency, duration, and strength as we approach the US presidential election – and they’re only going to get worse.

I don’t like to entertain fear or wish to stir panic, but I suspect that there will be violence related to the election – no matter who wins. It may be sometime before a winner is declared. If it goes a certain way, the transfer of power is not likely to be peaceful.

In other words, we can expect a whole lot more anxiety before this is all over – our own, and that of anyone else who is paying attention. We are at a crossroads for our nation and crossroads are dangerous places where deals with the devil are made. Crossroads often inspire violence. Crossroads can be terrifying times.

It is for this reason, that for healers, light and shadow workers, starseeds, empaths, and anyone else who is here to be love in the world – our number one concern at this time is our own safety and the safety of those we care for the most. We each have our own tools – USE THEM.

  • Create a safe place for yourself.
  • Meditate and Pray.
  • Wrap yourself in protective prayers, amulets, oils, flower essences, colors, etc.
  • Invoke the archangels, your ancestors, your favorite deities.
  • Light candles.
  • Cleanse and smudge yourself and your space regularly.

And most of all – DO NOT engage. Don’t engage with hate. There is nothing we can do to convince another of anything they don’t want to believe. No amount of facts or data will change the mind of one constricted by racism, sexism, etc. Hate will continue to hate. Our task is instead, to be LOVE.

The truth is that in this election, things may not go the way we want. That bridge we’ll cross when we get there.  In the meantime, keep yourself safe.  Gather your loved ones close. Know who you can turn to if you find yourself overwhelmed by the fear and REACH OUT. If faced with hate, be and respond with love.

Embracing Fallow Times

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

In the natural world, there are cycles to all living things. A seed finds its way to the soil. The nutrients of the soil combined with the sun and rain support germination and growth. The plant flowers and eventually bears fruit. Then the plant either enters a state of dormancy, or the plant dies. Some plants are made to live only one growing season. Others return each year to bear flower and fruit. Some return every other year. And a rare few enter a dormant period for many years, while some require drastic states of nature for germination and growth. The seeds of the Giant Sequoia, for example, only germinate after they have been subjected to fire, and many desert plants sequester underground, often for many years, until the rain comes.

Written in the DNA of every living thing is the cycle of its natural life – a time to live and a time to die, a time to work and a time to rest. The same is true of human beings, especially as it relates to the gifts (fruits) we bring to our lived experience. In the same way that our life has a beginning and an end, so too do our cycles of productivity and creativity.

In a world in which we are conditioned to believe that our value is dependent upon our productivity, when we find ourselves in fallow times, we are prone to judging ourselves and forcing ourselves to produce and create. The harder we work to produce, the more frustrated we become and the more our creativity suffers. Like the fruit of a plant, our creative contributions to the human experience cannot be forced. Whether our creative contribution is parenthood, painting, teaching, counseling, writing, singing, speaking, managing, organizing, healing, providing service, administrating, craftsmanship, or any other outward form of producing, it cannot be forced. This is especially true in the times we are meant to lie dormant.

Dormancy most often comes after times of intensive output – times in which we have been actively producing. As is true of nature, dormancy can also follow times of enormous stress or after we’ve suffered trauma. Like a plant that has finished its growing season, or that has been traumatized by the violence of nature (flood, drought, etc.), we need time to rest and recover before we are able to produce again.

Contrary to our capitalistic conditioning, fallow times are not bad. Instead, they are deeply necessary for our own health and for the good of humanity and the planet. When fallow times present themselves, we do ourselves good by surrendering to them – which I know is quite difficult.

To embrace and receive the fruits of our own periods of dormancy, we need to undo all the conditioning that has told us our value is based on our productivity. We have to exorcise ourselves of the messages that suggest that in surrendering to dormancy, we are being lazy, that we might be depressed, or that there is something wrong with us and with our inaction. We have to silence the voices both outside of us and in our own heads that insist that doing nothing is wrong.

During times of dormancy, the only task required of us is to simply be. To be with the inaction. To endure the naysaying. To dive into our discomfort. To resist the pressure to do and allow our souls the precious time they need to rest and restore. Only in surrendering to the fallow time do the seeds of new life that are waiting within us receive the nourishment and energy they need to come forth in their own divinely-ordained time – and not a second before. In embracing our fallow times, we are providing the foundation upon which our next cycle of life will bloom vibrantly and abundantly – if only we have the patience and trust to wait.

Waiting to Exhale

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

At the risk of becoming political, I must acknowledge the palpable collective energy of angst. For myself, this angst is presenting itself as a sense of caution along with a need to draw inward and sequester myself from the world, the news, other human beings, really any sort of engagement. When life requires that I do go out into the world, I feel the collective trepidation while also witnessing an increase in erratic and even violent behavior in my fellow human beings. Those who are empathic as I am have turned inward and become quiet. When speaking politically, it is in hushed, almost secretive tones. No one wants to utter the unthinkable. Everyone – no matter their political affiliation – seems to be afraid.

Beyond the outward symptoms related to politics and the current election cycle is the feeling of having been put on hold. I am not alone in this. For so many of us who have spent the last many years of our lives working for the betterment of our world, those missions have come to a halt. They have either run themselves out or come to a screeching halt. Inwardly, there is no motivation of inspiration left to drive our so-called missions. As one friend recently put it, “it feels like we are waiting in the wings to see what happens.”  EXACTLY! 

We are waiting. We’ve done what we could for ourselves and for humanity. As it relates to the election, we have cast our vote. Now we wait. We wait for the results and the fallout therein (my sense is that no matter the results, there will be a kind of fallout). We wait for our initial reaction to the results, then we will seek our hearts for an appropriate (preferably non-violent) response. Perhaps our response will be silence. Perhaps we will rage. We won’t know until we get there.  In the meantime, we are holding our breaths and hoping for the best.

My hope, no matter the outward result, is that LOVE and COMPASSION wins.

Moving Gently

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Often, when I reflect on what I want out of my life, the phrase moving gently surfaces. The idea of moving gently is so contrary to the way I have formerly moved and to the way in which we are often conditioned in this society that it has taken me time and much practice to realize this gentle movement in my life. Now, when I am able to sink into this gentle movement it feels natural, nourishing, and life-giving. In the times when life throws me back into situations where gentle is either not possible or difficult to attain, I feel violated and as if my life force is being sucked out of my being. This contrast encourages me to choose gentle movement wherever I am able and to free myself of those things that don’t allow for gentle.

Moving gently brings up images for me of the Bronte sisters and Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women – Victorian women (albeit privileged) who lived in a time when quiet reading, long walks in the moors, the needle arts, and writing were honored as time well-spent. Moving gently also brings up thoughts of medieval nuns like Hildegard of Bingen whose lives were defined by prayer, tending their gardens, providing counsel, caring for the sick, and completing the daily tasks of running a monastery.

These images provide but a glimpse of all the aforementioned lives required, but it is the energy-sense of these images, much more than the literal truth of them that provides food for thought and seeds for discernment.

Moving gently is about having a felt-sense of gentle and choosing this wherever possible in ones life. It is about measuring each experience and encounter and comparing it to what gentle feels like. Then it is about choosing what measures up and discarding the rest. As it turns out, choosing to move gently has application in all areas of my life. Here are some real-life examples:

Exercise: I used to be a gym rat, spending hours a week forcing my body into a size six form through vigorous exercise and weight lifting. Now, I relish in the gentle movements of yoga and Chi Qong. I’m no longer a size six (thank you menopause), but I feel good in my body.

The Drive to Succeed: I spent the vast majority of my life driving, striving, and forcing myself into the western world’s definition of success. I drove myself to be number one in my class. I sought positions that dangled the money carrot. I followed all the rules of SEO marketing and professional networking to try to be a success in my own business. Now, I do none of these. Instead, I listen deeply to my soul and when I feel called to work, I do.  When things come to me that feel life-giving, I receive them. I create what I want to create and leave the rest to God. Somehow it always works out – often by the skin of my teeth, but it works out.

Popularity and People-Pleasing: (puke emoji). I used to believe it was my job to make other people happy. Formerly, I worked hard at being friendly, outgoing, welcoming, and approachable. I wanted people to like me, and I would change and adapt in the hopes of getting other people’s approval. No more. Now, I am me. If people don’t like me, that’s more a reflection of them than it is of me. Instead of wanting to be popular, I now prefer to be unknown and unseen. In my mind, I like to think of my invisibility as the Diana Prince to the Wonder Woman hidden underneath. I no longer need to wave the banner of my magic to get people’s attention. If my gifts are meant for them, they will find me.

The Use of My Time: Formerly, my time was put toward efforts that I hoped would produce popularity, money, fame, even power. Now, my time is spent gently. If I have nothing “to do,” I spend my time in prayer and contemplation. I seek out opportunities for learning. I read and study. I read for enjoyment. I move my body gently. I feed my body simply. I enjoy quietude. I listen to music. I spend time with friends. I work with clients when the opportunities present themselves. I moderate student discussion in my online classes. I facilitate a weekly meditation circle. I tend to the responsibilities of my “chop wood and carry water” job. I pay my bills. I carry my love out into the world. I no longer engage in debate. I have freed myself from trying to convince anyone of anything. I have released resentment. I have let go of my need to fix, change, or save the world and the people within it.

I’m not saying it’s perfect. But identifying my soul’s need to move gently and going about the process of making this choice, I feel more peaceful and content than I have ever felt in my life. Oh yes, I sometimes stray from this and my battle armor is always close at hand, but at least I know what my soul prefers and that the freedom to choose gentle is almost always there.

Living Against the Grain

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Monastic Living in the Modern World is ultimately about living against the grain. In every way, shape, and form, choosing to live monastically requires us to step away, disconnect, and decondition ourselves from all that society has set out as its values and goals.

Living monastically has nothing to do with capitalistic definitions of success including the search for fame, wealth, and power. Living monastically is not about driving, striving, or achieving. Monastic living is not about working hard, and it has nothing to do with society’s constant pressure to do. Living monastically is not about being seen, heard, or known. Choosing to live monastically is not the path if we wish to be considered valuable or appreciated by those outside of us.

By society’s standards, choosing to live monastically is a thankless choice, but for those called to this way of life, it is our soul that gives us thanks.

The monastic calling is one that honors a certain type of soul with a unique kind of temperament. Those called to this way of life often have a deep connection with Mystery – otherwise known as: God/Transcendence/Spirit/Presence/The Source of All that Is. They are often people of learning – driven to explore the knowledge of others so as to find their own truth. Those called to a monastic kind of life are sometimes extroverts but are more likely to be inclined toward introversion. They are deep thinkers and even deeper feelers. They are often creatives with a penchant toward self-expression through writing, drawing, painting, sculpting, etc. They see wonder in all things, especially nature and art. They may be single or coupled while treasuring their solitude. They seek after quiet and long to move gently upon this human plane. They thrive equally in the company of beauty and simplicity.

Ultimately, those called to live monastically seek to live simply in a world that on most days looks absolutely mad.

There is a reason why those called to monastic living have historically separated themselves from society. Whether a hermit in the desert, a witch in the woods, or a nun in a monastery, monastics have never fit in with the status quo. They have never fit in with the surrounding or presiding culture. They have always been called to live their lives against the grain. Moreover, their sensitive nature made it near impossible for them to live among the chaos of the everyday world. As such, they sought or created their abodes elsewhere. Even if the monastery was in the midst of a bustling city, their homes were sequestered with ample time and space for prayer, quietude, silence, and a gentle way of living. Unless cloistered, direct service to others arose out of the service they were doing first to “God,” and secondly to themselves.

In our modern and increasingly pluralistic world where many monastics are no longer called to live out their calling within the confines of a religious institution, the expression of that calling requires ingenuity. How do we carve out a place for our calling in a world that expects us to be everything but what our soul wants? The answer is both simple and complicated. We first have to acknowledge the calling. Then, we must free ourselves from every single shred of societal, cultural, and familial conditioning that would hinder us from living out that calling. We have to learn to say yes to our soul’s longings and NO to what culture expects of us – including our culture’s expectations around work and provision. Yes, we still have to “chop wood and carry water,” but maybe a 40-hour, 9-5 work week doesn’t work for us. Perhaps we don’t have to make a six-figure salary. Maybe we can find creative ways to provide for ourselves while creating ample space in which our soul might thrive. Who knows, we just might find peace living below the mean. Finally, we have to exorcise ourselves from our attachment to other people’s approval and get comfortable with the questioning looks, raised eyebrows, and blank stares from those who just cannot comprehend our decision to live against the grain. Believe me, your soul will thank you!