Humanity’s Only Hope

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

As humanity approaches the brink of its own extinction, my thoughts have turned to a single question: What if anything will save them? The answer is simple but is likely not something humanity wants to hear or do because the answer lies, not outside of them, but within.

Along with casting blame outside of them, humanity also loves projecting solutions. They’re waiting for a messiah, a savior, the Second Coming – really anyone other than themselves to fix what is wrong and make everything right again.

The problem is that humanity did this to themselves by forgetting who they are while denying the inherent power they have within. Instead, they have attributed this power to gods, kings, priests, and popes. In this grand forfeiture, humanity created a hierarchy assigning value according to one’s place within the hierarchy, leaving most human beings out of the equation – thereby reducing themselves to slaves.

Humanity has become enslaved to the very people they gave their power to. The only way out of this imprisonment is for humanity to take their own power back, by remembering who they are. (Change NEVER comes from those who benefit from keeping humanity small.)

Remembering who we are, however, is easier said than done. It’s not something you can purchase from the latest new age teacher or shaman, neither is it something that can be completed in a weekend workshop or retreat. Instead, true remembrance can only be accomplished through a many-years long practice requiring discipline, persistence, diligence, and radical personal accountability.

Remembering who we are is a slow and patient process of identifying and stripping away the layers of who we are not in order to uncover the treasure of who we are. Then we have to practice what we are remembering until it is no longer just a practice, but becomes fully integrated within us.

Remembering who we are leads us to answering the following questions:

  • Who am I?
  • Whose am I?
  • What are my unique gifts and how am I called to engage in them for my own fulfillment and then share them for the betterment of the world?

In a nutshell, remembering who we are is about identifying our gifts and then healing the infinite number of layers of woundedness, trauma, betrayal, rejection, and societal conditioning that has told us we aren’t gifted and our gifts don’t matter (have no value).

Remembering our gifts requires radical accountability, humility, and the willingness to be vulnerable. In this search, we become aware of the defense mechanisms we have honed so that we might have the illusion of being safe in an unsafe world. Those defense mechanisms might include: jealousy, self-righteousness, prejudice, racism (conscious or unconscious), sexism, a compulsion toward revenge, pride, manipulation, and more. We are also invited to explore our own place within the hierarchy and the privilege we gain from that, along with how we might use that privilege to elevate ourselves while repressing others.

Remembering who we are is the true hero’s journey. It takes courage, determination (often to the point of being stubborn), and the willingness to learn from our failures.  Because, fail we will. Remembering and Being/Living are two different things.

Failure is predictable. When we gain a glimpse of remembrance, all our resistance to change rises up to challenge us. More than death, humanity fears change. As such, we cling to our defense mechanisms, we hang on to the status quo, we are terrified at the prospect of losing who and what we know.

Loss is integral to the journey of remembrance. More specifically – letting go. In order to live more and more fully as our true selves, we must let go of all that which hinders that remembrance.  This includes friends, jobs, relationships, places of perceived belonging, perceived status, etc. While we may find some measure of comfort in the familiar, there is no liberation or freedom there.

If humanity truly wants to be free, it must remember itself because at the heart of this remembrance is LOVE. Love, more than anything, is who we are. When we remember the Love that we are, it changes everything – how we move in the world, how we treat fellow human beings, how we come together in cooperation as a species, and how we treat our world.

Love is humanity’s only hope and is the key for each individually to find contentment in this life regardless of what is happening “out there.”

Being Who You Are

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

As we move through this powerfully transformative time, under this new moon with seven celestial bodies stacked up in Aries, we are invited to examine our SELF – WHO we truly are. This is not about titles (ie: witch, priestess, mother, healer, poet, writer, counselor) it is about our truest nature – who we are at our core, something that has been part of us our entire lives, something we cannot help but be. This is not about what we do, but who we are BEING because our true nature is not a noun, it is a verb. As you reflect on this, for yourself, I share with you how I arrived at the answer for myself:

For my entire life I have been able to see. Specifically, I am able to see the truth beyond appearances – the truth beyond the veil – the truth behind the masks people present to the world. I’ve been able to see the severe mental illness that drove the abusive actions of two grade school teachers. I saw the lie behind “terminal diagnosis” of a family “friend.” I’ve seen the truth behind lies that have been told to my face. Less dramatic than this, I see the unhealed wounds, insecurities, and pain behind the façade many present to the world.

For me, it’s easy to see the sorrow, anger, pain, deception, betrayal, etc. behind which all humans hide, but equally so, I see the potential waiting to be liberated from behind these unhealed wounds. For those who have the willingness and courage, I have been a resource for healing and moving beyond these wounds. For those with nothing to hide, being seen provides a gift of affirmation along with an expression of love.

I am grateful for this gift of seeing, but the reality is not everyone wants to be seen. Even fewer want to do the work of healing those areas of imprisonment within them. As such, this ability to see has often felt like more of a curse than a gift. Teachers who made me their enemy through no fault of my own. Classmates who hated me for no apparent reason. Strangers and acquaintances who shy away from my presence because there is something in them that becomes unconsciously aware of being seen – and they do not want to be seen.

People’s inner demons run from me. At times, I can hear them hissing. At other times, their demons come at me filled with projections, accusations, excuses, insults, etc. Recently, I challenged a long-time acquaintance for their prejudice against the working poor (saying if they just applied belief and effort they wouldn’t be poor). They came back at me with aggression and insults. Their demon of unconscious shame, hiding behind white male privilegem was not happy about being seen.

I can’t help that I see. It’s part of who I am. I see the good, and the bad. The holy and the unholy. Most often, I’m not really doing anything with this seeing, I just see. And some become extremely uncomfortable in my presence because they don’t want to be seen. For most of my life, I have taken the other person’s negative reactions personally. It’s my fault they feel uncomfortable. Now I’m a target for their wrath or a projection for their shame. I’ve been rejected, avoided, ignored, condemned, harassed, abused, and punished for simply seeing.

But this week, under this crazy Aries New Moon pile-up, with seven celestial bodies in Aries, a hugely transformational awareness has surfaced.  At the heart of this awareness is the invitation to completely and fully own WHO I AM  – specifically that for which I have been rejected and condemned, which has then caused me to shy away from or hide my gift.

This week, I was provided with a visceral experience that demonstrated to me the impact my seeing has on someone who does not want to be seen, along with the unconscious reaction that arose in them upon being seen. I literally felt the individual attempt to put up an energetic wall between us, and I could hear/feel their (we’ll call it) shame hissing at me. At the same time, I became aware of my own unconscious (at the time) reaction to their “rejection.” I felt my energy turn in on itself, packing itself away in a quiet place to hide. I felt myself attempting to become invisible.

I used this startling experience for deep reflection. What was happening? Why did I react that way? Why did THEY react that way. I don’t yet have the full answer to my quandary about how to use this awareness for my own healing and growth but in this moment it feels a little like this:

I AM Seeing. For those wanting to be truly seen, it is a gift. For those who do not, their conscious or (more commonly) unconscious reaction is not a rejection of me, it is a rejection of themselves. And that demon who is hissing at me as it defends its host, has zero power over me because when I SEE the demon, it no longer has power over me.

What is the BEING you are invited to more fully embrace and no longer hide from the world (or yourself)?

Not Sure Who You Are?

Learn more HERE

The Order of the Magdalene Training provides the resources and tools to answer and live the answers to the following questions:

Who am I?

Whose am I?

What are my gifts and how am I being invited to share those gifts for the sake of my own fulfillment and in service to the betterment of the world.

Preparing for Splashdown

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

As I write this, I am coming off a morning of relentless “spiritual 911” calls. Those who have my private number, checking in with the same set of “symptoms,” and wondering if the cause of the symptoms is their own, or relating to the world. And wondering, what, if anything, they can do about it.

The short answer: it is most definitely the world.

The longer answer: a certain someone can step on their own d*ck only so many times before toppling over onto their own house of cards. This Sunday’s actions herald the beginning or perhaps the end) of the end. Whether by Congress, or the Supreme Court, or by some other yet to be revealed source, the pressure cooker in which we’ve been living is coming to an end.

The anxiety that so many are currently feeling is at once, the natural trepidation over what all will be destroyed as the end draws near, and the very real knowledge of the conflicting cavalcade of emotions roiling about in preparation for what is soon to be.

The what will be is two-fold: a complete and total meltdown of a system that has imprisoned humanity for thousands of years and the simultaneous splashdown of a whole new world and way of living together as human beings.

That is…..if “he” doesn’t destroy us all first.

The if, what, and how of the meltdown/splashdown is not ours to know. It is not something for which we can plan. The only thing we can do is be with what is as it is unfolding. As we are being with the unfolding, we are invited to be sources of healing and support for ourselves and others. The “what is” and “what will be” is not personal. It is simply the throes of a system  facing its own death. As sensitive human beings, however, we will be feeling it:  anxiety, pressure, headaches, body pain, restlessness, impatient, sorrowful, angry, even depressed. That which arises in us is a bit of our own fear, but more likely it is the feelings of the collective. Whether it is ours or belongs to someone else, we are not powerless.  Instead, this is our invitation to become empowered.

Here are some practices I have found to be helpful as the world is working out its own shit:

  1. Witness: I have learned that these energies are ours to fix or heal. Instead, they simply want to be seen and acknowledged. When feeling the rise of anxiety or pressure, close your eyes, envision the fear, anxiety, grief, etc. in your minds eye…..and just look at it. No judgement – just witnessing and acknowledging. As we bear it witness, it eventually dissipates and we are restored to peace.
  2. Nothing is Personal: These discordant energies, for the most part, are not our own. These are the manifestation of collective consciousness (what some might call demons)  – the energies that have arisen out of 5000 years of human enslavement which are losing their power over us. These energies have become “living things” intent on their own survival – they don’t give up easily. And yet, Love is winning, and these energies are losing their power. As they are preparing for their departure, they are making themselves known. Think of these “demons” you are feeling as asking you to see them as they say goodbye. (Don’t let the screen door hit you on the ass as you leave little demons!  Bye!)
  3. It’s just a movie: I don’t mean this to be dismissive of the very real feelings we are having as the world around us implodes. But when we allow ourselves to cultivate detachment, we are able to distance ourselves a bit from the intensity. I find it helpful to think of it like watching a movie. I mean, seriously, art has been showing us all along where we are going and life itself has become more ridiculous than art. I did not have a war between POTUS and Pope on my 2026 bingo card! It’s actually kind of hilarious. I just wonder, is it a Divine Comedy or a Comedy of Errors. Maybe both! 
  4. You are not alone: Check in with your team/tribe/support system. If you are feeling off, overwhelmed, terrified as the system burns itself to the ground, seek support. It may be as simply as texting a close friend, “Hey, are you feeling this too or am I losing my mind?”  Most likely, it’s the former. And if your trusted friend circle isn’t enough, reach out to a professional you trust.
  5. Prepare for Splashdown: As the old world continues its dying, the new world is coming into form. At this point, we have no idea what this new world will look like, or what our roles will be in that world. We can, however, be attentive in our own lives to what is asking to leave so that room can be made for the new. We are also invited to pay attention, specifically to what feeds us and gives us joy – and be more of that. Every decision we make, not out of fear, but out of love, joy, and compassion, becomes a seed from which the new will take root and come into being.
  6. More than anything – BE LOVE. Be love to yourself. Be love to your loved ones. And most difficult of all – be LOVE to your (perceived) enemies. We may find ourselves surprised at who people become on the other side of this collapse and the love that they might need. Even the AntiChrist longs to know Love.

To Be, Not to Seem

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Esse quam videri

To be, not to seem.

From the roots of the ancients.

Fire at my finger tips.

A burning in my soul.

Older than memory.

Anchored in DNA.

Long before religion.

More timeless than language.

A knowing beyond explanation.

Comprehended by few.

It cannot be put-on.

Only lived.

Recognizing our brethren

By the authenticity in their soul.

We know,

so we are.

Where all falsehoods fall away –

unable to stand.

Mirrors for remembrance

and for seeing what is true,

and where all that seems to be

disappears from view.

Universal (Personal) Jesus

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 4 Comments

As we are approaching Easter, thoughts of Jesus are running through my head. Who was Jesus? Who IS Jesus? Was Jesus real? Was he made up? Is he “Savior?” and if so, for whom? These are the questions that get batted around in theological circles. People have gone to war over these questions. People have been killed for answering these questions “incorrectly.” And yet, after 2000+ years, there is no conclusive answer to these questions – except those which men have created into dogma. But who’s to say any of that is even true?

To me, none of this matters. Whether Jesus was or wasn’t, lived or died, was crucified died and rose again, or is planning to return has zero impact on my faith. Why? Because faith transcends belief while defying logic.

As I am equally romantic and pragmatic, I can allow all answers to be true. I can also allow for them to be false. Because, at the end of the day, we have very little verifiable, scientific evidence to prove any of it. Instead, all we really have is faith. Not what others have told us to believe. Instead, what do we personally believe about Jesus? What have/has been our own personal experiences of Jesus (if any)?

For me, the answer to this question begins with scripture – both canonical and non-canonical. Whereas scripture has been traditionally contained within the doctrinal jurisdiction of religion, my experience is that scripture transcends religion. As an historical work, containing the pseudo-history of a people, scripture provides a narrative within a specific context. Scripture is worthy of study simply for this purpose. Understanding who wrote the different books of the bible, when they were written, their audience, the genre utilized, and the purpose of the author’s writings gives us insight into the tribal, theological, and religious/liturgical evolution of a people. Approached through a pseudo-scientific lens, scripture provides much insight into the Hebrew people who later named themselves Israelites, and into the experiences of the people within that tribe who later called Jesus their teacher and how his presence altered the trajectory of their lives. All of this is worthy of studying.

If we want to know who Jesus is for us personally, however, we have to move beyond the simple reading of scripture. Neither, can we know Jesus simply by what someone else has told us, regardless of who that someone might be. For me, this personal Jesus came through dedicated attention to the methods of prayer, contemplation, and discernment favored by St. Ignatius of Loyola. These approaches to prayer allow for direct communication between Source (God) and ourselves. Through this prayer, what I have uncovered (as have many others before me) is the possibility of a Universal Jesus – one who speaks Truth to all people regardless of their religion, or personal beliefs.

One does not have to proclaim Jesus Christ their personal Lord and Savior
to receive the benefits of his teachings.

To say otherwise, is proclaiming oneself as higher than God. Who are we to declare that God has ONE chosen people or to suggest there is but one path to being saved? Salvation, I have learned, is simply a matter of perspective – have we found a way to equanimity in the midst of the human condition or have we damned ourselves to suffering?

Beyond anything else, Jesus teaches us how to find peace, contentment, and even joy in the midst of the challenges and difficulties of being human. Whether heaven is here on earth, or on some other plane, is up to us to decide. Jesus shows us how to choose the former. Even if we hope for paradise on the other side of this life, Jesus’ deepest message is how to find paradise here. You will not find these teachings in any church’s doctrine. They can only be found within.

To me, the Universal Jesus is one that came to understand the message of LOVE at the heart of the Judaism in which he was raised. He came to understand the highest Truth taught – that all of creation is an expression of this Love/God and that we are all ONE with this Love. Jesus learned how to remember and embody this Love. He then sought to teach others how to do the same:

The Love (kingdom) of God is within you.

His message is truly this simple. YOU ARE LOVE. Remembering this Truth helps us to find peace.  Right here.  Right now.  (And maybe even more completely when we fully return to Source after we have finished this life).

Immobilized

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Exploring Healer Fatigue and Empath Paralysis

Since February 28, 2026, when the US and Israel launched their war against Iran, I have found myself immobile – unable to accomplish anything other than what is absolutely essential. Somedays, even the essentials are left on the sidelines. It’s not that I’m fixated on the war, perseverating over what is happening along with the possible outcomes, or even actively worried.

Being made immobile is just another symptom of being an empath and a healer.

I can’t help it. Even when I tell myself, “I’m accomplishing this today,” I find I cannot. I can’t say that I’m depressed or even anxious. Instead, I am simply aware that as humanity is trying to destroy itself, my BEING is actively working on behalf of this suicidal species.

All the oil in the world is not worth the wholesale destruction of a nation – especially as the US and Israel are actively destroying the very oil they say they are after. I call foul! We know this war isn’t about oil. Neither is it about Iran’s “oppressive” regime. The ones truly in need of regime change are those who shot the first shot. I digress…

My point is that if you are an empath, a healer, a lightworker, you may also be finding yourself immobilized – Unable to do – only allowed to BE.

As much as I want to deny or ignore the “whoo whoo” that would even suggest such a thing could be possible, I am increasingly finding it is the only thing that truly makes sense. As a practical, hard-working, first-born Capricorn, I have taken great pride in my ability to be productive – to get things done, and to be somewhat in control of my fate. All these points of pride have flown out the window the closer we come to human extinction.

Instead:

I have had to become excruciatingly comfortable with doing nothing, while believing in the invisible magic of simply being. With zero tangible evidence, I have had to rely on the faith that all this doing of nothing is amounting to something. I have had to force myself to trust that while it may appear as if I’m unproductive, I am being used for some higher purpose. Without knowing what I’m doing, how it’s being done, or what the impact may or may not be, I have had to believe that all will be well – especially when every material example says otherwise. Because no matter the amount of effort or thought I put into DOING – every effort has failed.

These are the days I wish someone would wave a magic wand and I would simply and confidently believe that as I am immobilized, a higher purpose is being fulfilled. My intention has always been to be a vessel through which Love can be made real in our world, and my prayer has been, “I am the servant of the Lord Love. Let it be done to me according to your word.” Perhaps this is my prayer being answered.

While Humanity Sorts Itself Out

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 1 Comment

It is bizarre and surreal to stand back watching humanity attempting to destroy itself while having literally nothing to do. By nothing, I mean nothing. Between my own business which has had little to no activity in the past several months, and the snowstorm of the century, I’ve been immobilized. Usually, I’m ok with having nothing to do, especially knowing that even before the storms, many of us had already been sequestered. But knowing we’ve been sequestered and experiencing sequestering are two different things.

The future of humanity is literally out of our hands.

So now we watch in rapt attention to the heaving death rattle of the empire – each action more dramatically ridiculous than the one prior – and shake our heads in bewilderment. Will humanity never learn?

Power built on fear will always destroy itself.

So we stand back and watch in horror as humanity sorts itself out. Will it continue to choose war to sort out its need for domination or to decide conflicts and will these wars lead to the eventual wholesale destruction of humanity? Time will tell.

In the meantime, we wait.

In this waiting, I now understand the meaning of those who have called the human experience a simulation. When observed from a place of sequestering, it feels like watching children experimenting with different ways to play together, trying to figure out the dynamics of being human, while getting their undeveloped needs met, disintegrating in a tantrum when not getting ones way, and then coming back around with a new set of tactics. What happens if I act like a bully? What if I ask nicely? What if I offer a compliment or praise? Will sucking up work? None of this? Ok, then I’ll drop a b*mb.

All of this would be unnerving if we hadn’t seen it all before. The same game played over and over and over as humanity tries to figure their shit out. Do you think they know there is a history of how all of these efforts have previously failed and that there is a guide (several actually) for how to make and enjoy peace in our world? If they continue at this rate, the world may never know.

Sequestered

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

We’ve done our work –

all we were meant to do.

We’ve delivered our message of Love.

Issued invitations.

Planted seeds.

Sowed the remedies

for healing the wounds of division

            and returning ourselves to Love.

We’ve done this for ourselves.

We’ve done this for the world.

Our work is now complete as we step back and wait.

Held in the container of protection and love…

            we continue to make for ourselves…

                        and for all who would join us.

Waiting to see what humanity will choose –

            It’s out of our hands and into theirs.

Will they choose Love

            or condemn themselves to another eternity of hatred and fear?

Support Our Work

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Purpose: to secure on-going, sustainable support for the work of service I provide to the world.

Goal: 100 individuals who are willing to sponsor my work with a monthly gift* of $10.00 or more.

BONUS: Unlimited access to all of my online courses (one course at a time) for those committing to a sponsorship gift of $100.00 per month or more.

(*gift: as I am not a 501c3, and as no goods or services will be exchanged, for tax purposes, your sponsorship would be considered a gift.)

Dearest Friends,

With deep gratitude, and inspired by my fellow monastic, Cynthia Bourgeault, I am providing an opportunity for those who feel so-called to support my work in the world. I am inviting this support to be of the heart as a freely given (not coerced in any way) expression of your recognition and acknowledgement of the value you see in the (mostly invisible) work I am doing in support of the betterment of our world:

  • Providing ongoing messages of inspiration, and hope.
  • Shining a light on deception, disparity and injustice.
  • A life devoted to mindful presence.
  • Equipping and empowering loving presence and action in myself and others by healing the wounds that imprison us in fear.
  • Activating and unblocking the flow of Love through healing practices, prayer, and community engagement.

As the capitalistic world does not acknowledge the value of this invisible work, I am turning to you for support. I know you see me.  I know you value who I am and what I have been doing on behalf of our world.  If you feel called to this, I thank you.

My goal is 100 sponsors paying $10.00 each.  When we reach this goal, it will go toward those expenses not currently covered by my existing part-time paying clerical job, and the small amount of income coming in through book royalties and existing sponsorships. As the Universe continues to transition me away from clients and teaching and toward the invisible work, your support will be invaluable. Thank you in advance for your support!

Sponsorship:

Becoming a sponsor is easy. Simply follow the Paypal link below.  Set the amount you would like to contribute. Choose “help with fees” if you feel called. Select “monthly” for your frequency of payment. Then choose how you want to pay: via Paypal, Venmo, or credit card.

Or, go directly to my personal Venmo account and choose a monthly payment cycle. (No fees are charged when you mark the support as a “gift.”)

*If you unable to provide financial support, you may provide support through your prayers, and by sharing this campaign with others. Thank you in advance for any way you are able to support this campaign.

If you have any questions, please email me at lauri@lauriannlumby.com.

Power, Safety, and Feminine Rage

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 4 Comments

Warning: this promises to be a rambling and meandering journey of words through a dark and tangled forest of thorns.

This morning, I found myself unable to tend to my daily practice of meditation and prayer because instead of finding calm, I discovered only rage – the kind of rage that makes me want to tear down walls and burn things to the ground. Not being an outwardly violent person, I ran circles in my mind instead.

  • What is this rage?
  • Where is it coming from?
  • What is its source?
  • How do I need to respond to it?
  • What, if anything can I do about what is filling me with blind rage?
  • What can I do to calm the fire?

The really difficult answer that came through this tangled mess of questions was this:

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I CAN DO.

This then, just made me more angry. But isn’t this typical? Isn’t this familiar? The deep well of (feminine) rage (not only women feel this kind of rage) over all the things happening to us and in our world over which we have absolutely no control.

The list of things over which we have no power seems endless. If you are reading this, I invite to take a moment and reflect on everything you see happening around you, along with the things you have experienced in your own life that have made you feel powerless. How does that powerlessness make you feel? If it’s rage, you are not alone.

RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE

Let’s talk a little about that rage. This rage could be a face of grief.  If grief, the rage you’re feeling may be showing up as sorrow, depression, or paralysis. This rage could also be a response to injustice – what I call righteous anger. It could also be rage as a kind of acknowledgement of a need you have that is not being met. Or, as is most likely the case, the rage you feel is all of these:

Grief     Righteous Anger     Needs not being met

Today as I sit with my own person/collective rage, I am aware that it really boils down to one single thing:

SAFETY

As I examine all of the things in the past several days that have triggered me into feeling this rage, I realize it is because either the situation itself, or what the situation reminds me of, makes me feel unsafe. I’m also aware that the instinctual responses to feeling unsafe: fight, flight, freeze, are not available because I have experienced in my life that I have no power to change or correct the situations that make me feel unsafe. Instead, I feel like a tiger in a cage, restlessly pacing and seeking after a way out where there is none.

I believe this is how many of us are feeling. I’m also aware of the privilege I have and that my feelings of imprisonment are NOTHING compared to what others are currently experiencing on this planet. That being said, this privilege makes our rage no less real – and valid.

Now the personal part – I’m really sick of feeling unsafe in this world. I don’t want to play the “man card,” but the reality is that in nearly every situation where I have felt this kind of rage – it was because of something being done by or ignored by, a man. If it wasn’t a man, it was done by a woman complicit in the patriarchal system.

So I guess I can’t say men are the problem –

but the patriarchal system in which many are still entrenched IS the problem.

Let me provide a couple examples that everyone will be able to understand and relate to:

  • Women and children reporting rape and immediately disbelieved, or made to prove the crime (ending up being further victimized in the process).
  • MEN creating wars, destroying the world, killing millions of people for no other reason than their own inability to….. well….. that list is also endless. (communicate, share, have compassion, listen so as to understand…..)

I’m sick of it. I’m sick of all of it, including (but not limited to):

  • Men making bullying and demeaning statements in person and on social media.
  • Men dismissing women’s experiences.
  • Men sexualizing women (and children) ALL OF THE TIME. (alternatively, women sexualizing men)
  • Men dismissing or ignoring wisdom, knowledge, or expertise that is shared by a woman.
  • Women complying with the patriarchal (and pedophile) standards of “beauty” (including the recent starvation craze) and men being ok with it.
  • Women jealously defending their place in the patriarchal system.

It’s all so gross. And in the last 24 hours I was reminded of this is some deeply personal ways. One of which related to my past ecclesial abuse and some recent “strides toward inclusion of women” made by Pope Leo.

You know what, F the institution that continues to perpetrate their culture of clericalism that is at the heart of every single thing wrong with the Catholic Church. Throwing women a bone by saying the Church is planning to invite women into more positions of power (advisory only……) is to me more of an insult than a sign of forward movement. Until the system of clericalism is addressed, there will be no equity in the Church ever! As I learned from personal experience, the Church is only there to protect their own power. When I was being harassed and bullied by the local self-appointed inquisition, the Church did nothing to defend or protect me, instead it became one of my abusers.

The same is true of the patriarchy and all those complicit in the system. They are NOT here to keep us safe. They are not here to protect us. Instead, there are only concerned with protecting their own power – no matter the cost to any other human being. And this protection is done in all the obvious and insidiously subtle ways about which we are all excruciatingly familiar.

NO WONDER WE ARE SO DAMNED ANGRY!

Reflecting on this rage has made me aware that while the question of power is part of it, it is so much more a matter of safety.  And I’m really f’ing tired of feeling unsafe in a system that really doesn’t give a damn about anyone but itself – and even more angry that there doesn’t seem to be a damn thing I can do about it. Until patriarchy is overthrown, this, it seems, is our fate. And that just makes me f’ing mad!