Author: Lauri Ann Lumby

Sexualizing the Magdalene

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

In short – DON’T!

I just finished reading a book that was recently recommended to me about Mary Magdalene. I will start by saying it was a good recommendation. There were parts of the book that resonated with me on some level. At the same time, there were portions of the narrative that DID NOT resonate with me at all.  In fact, I found them disturbing and unsettling. They triggered rage in me. Rage over the following question:

Why do some authors find it necessary to sexualize the Magdalene to tell her story? 

I admit, my NOVEL, Song of the Beloved – the Gospel According to Mary Magdalene included an experience of sexual assault, and an experience between Jesus and Mary Magdalene in their marriage bed was hinted at, but in my mind, there is a difference between including the realities of the human journey (ie: 1 out of 4 women have experienced sexual assault) and describing the source of the Magdalene’s power as dependent on her beauty and what is and what is done between her legs. Perhaps this is all about my Venus in Capricorn, but I find the sexualizing of the Magdalene insulting and gross.

Can sexual intimacy be a beautiful, even transcendent spiritual experience through which one might encounter “God?”  Absolutely. Is it a necessary, even required component in one’s spiritual awakening and personal empowerment? History tells us no. Is it possible that Mary Magdalene and Jesus, in addition to being emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically intimate, experienced sexual intimacy – absolutely. Whereas there exists no scholarly evidence to support that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married (or had children), this too is not beyond possibility.

With none of this do I take issue. I do, however, take issue with authors who use sex to sell their Magdalene stories.  First, it’s lazy. Then I find myself offended. I find myself especially disgusted when authors choose to describe both sexual assault and “spiritual initiation” in unnecessarily explicit detail – and then try to pass it off as truth.

In sexualizing the Magdalene, these authors are no better than early Church leaders (specifically Pope Gregory I (540-604 C.E.)), who claimed the Magdalene to be the sinful woman mentioned in the gospels, a claim that has no foundation in scripture, but is still the common belief today.

Despite the efforts of scholars and laypeople alike, the Magdalene continues to be judged as less-than, when in fact, she was a woman of power, near-equal (if not equal) to Jesus. Moreover, as was the case with Pope Gregory, it is her sexuality by which she has been judged. Modern authors have continued this trend by attempting to sanctify women’s sexuality by suggesting it is the source of her power. This is both an insult and an assault against both women and men. Our personal power has nothing to do with sex.

To further describe the so-called hiero-gamos as a necessary step in human enlightenment reduces human beings to simply sexual creatures. To say it is by manual or coital manipulation that one becomes awakened is a corruption of the purpose of both sexual intimacy and the human journey of self-realization. To say that either Mary Magdalene or Jesus reached the height of their awakening solely through sexual rituals diminishes the inherent power of both. To remove sexual intimacy from love, insults the very mission that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were trying to accomplish.

The Source of Mary Magdalene’s power (and Jesus’ for that matter) had nothing to do with her appearance, her desirability to men, or with her sexual nature. The Source of Mary Magdalene’s power was within – in the Love that she had come to know as herself, and the Love she was in the world. This Being Love is the message and purpose of the Magdalene. To suggest anything else is to have missed the whole entire point.  

Teachings of the Magdalene

Signs of the New World

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As a Minneapolis native, I have been closely tuned into the events unfolding since ICE began their occupation, drawing national attention by shooting an innocent woman (Robin Nicole Good) in the face. Since Robin’s murder, several others have been shot, and even more illegally detained, with the president of the United States cheering on Robin’s murder (“she asked for it”) and the violence against women, men, and children who are here legally but who have become unwarranted targets of ICE. It is not only immigrants who are being targeted, but also Native Americans and most recently a Caucasian female friend of mine was harassed by ICE agents as she was leaving a suburban mall.

Shit is getting real. AND, Minneapolis, along with the state of Minnesota, are standing up, and speaking out, while providing protection and support for those who do not feel safe leaving their homes.

I could not be more proud of my hometown!!! From the Oglala Sioux facilitating sacred ritual at the corner of Chicago and Lake St. bringing attention to the tribal members who have been detained by ICE, to Smitten Kitten fundraising and collecting donations for homebound families, to Wrecktangle Pizza providing food for families, to the thousands of people who gathered at Powderhorn Park for a little “fun” protesting. This does not include the countless social service, church, and community services who are on the ground providing support where needed. In addition, Minneapolis Mayor, Jacob Frey, and Minnesota Governor Tim Walz, have been holding news conferences for days, keeping the world informed and Minnesotan’s safe. Even the state Agricultural leadership spoke up regarding the grave danger to agriculture posed by ICE’s guerilla tactics.  

All of this to say – Minneapolis (as is often the case) is helping us to turn a corner. Through sheer compassion and care for their neighbors, Minneapolis and St. Paul citizens are showing us directly what LOVE can do. In doing so, they are providing us with signs of a new world being born, while demonstrating the actions out of which the new world will begin to usurp the dying world.

The Twin Cities are providing us with a blueprint upon which the new world can begin to take root, grow, and mature. This is how they’re doing it:

  • Saying NO to intimidation.  
  • Saying NO to violence.
  • Knowing and standing up for the Constitution.
  • Exercising their constitutional rights.
  • Knowing and understanding history.
  • Saying NO to authority based in fear, power, and control.
  • Defying that which is illegal.
  • In cases where relevant, using their privilege to advocate for and facilitate change.

And more than any of the above:

  • Welcoming the stranger.
  • Loving their neighbor.
  • Providing for the needs of those who don’t feel safe providing for themselves.
  • Giving from their own subsistence to help those in greater need.
  • Protecting their neighbors.
  • Advocating for their neighbors’ rights and safety.

In short, the Twin Cities, often criticized for being a hot bed of liberals, is showing the world exactly what it means to be LOVE, and how it is done – a model for all of us to follow.

Finally, a special note to those, like myself, who have found themselves plunged into the ocean of prayer – overtaken by the Spirit of Love and used as a vessel providing Peace, Comfort, Protection, Healing, and Support for a community and a world in need. Right now, this may be all you can do – and that is ok!  Thank you!

Between Two Worlds

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 1 Comment

Sisters and brothers, I am writing this from a place between time and space – a space between two worlds – between a world that has been and a world that is yet to be. The world as we have known it has been dying – rapidly and violently – accompanied by a cacophony of voices – some crying out in rage, others wailing out loss, many mumbling in confusion, and some have simply grown silent out of either shock or fatigue.

There is no judgment here. There is no right or wrong way of processing a catastrophic end. We are all simply trying to survive an end we predicted but could never have imagined would be this bad.

It is shocking to see the ever-unfolding revelation of human corruption. Every day we are met with another all-time low:

Oh my God this is bad.

Oh my God, this is really bad!

Oh my God, it can’t get worse than this!

Yes, it can. And yes, it likely will. But the news isn’t all bad. In fact, even the worst of what we have seen so far is good (or at the very least, serving a higher good) when we see it through the proper lens. For the end to finally come (come on already!), every single falsehood upon which the illusion of freedom has been built must be revealed to be seen. Every single corruption upon which the Empire was built must show itself. Every failure of the system must be known. Every lie, every betrayal, every evil, every sin, must come forth so that when the current system finally completes its collapse, we will know what needs to be different as we build the world that is yet to be.

But we’re not there yet. Right now, we are in the gap. The gap between what is dying and what is yet to be. In the gap, we wait. We watch. We observe. We protect each other. We do our best to keep ourselves and each other safe. We mark the outrage. We speak truth to power. We hold ourselves and our loved ones as we grieve. We extend kindness to each other as together we are simply trying to survive a world in its demise. We allow ourselves the fallow time to simply be as our body, minds, and spirit process the horrors, the tragedies, and the fear – our own and that of the collective.

Now is not the time to build. Now is the time to HOLD. To hold on to center as best we can – knowing that as tragedies strike, we will get pulled away from center in our anger and our grief. We honor our need to rage, to speak out, to defend. And then we bring ourselves back – TO LOVE. Love that can see beyond the surface violence to the unraveling of corruption. Love that can see the tragic woundedness of men that would make them want to perpetuate violence. Love that sees the actions of Love in a sea of hate and understand that with each loving act, a new world is being born.

Support for Dying Times

The Narrow Gate

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In the past few weeks, several different and unrelated individuals, who know me and are part of my wider community, have sent me YouTube videos on the Magdalene. They discovered these videos through a channel named The Esoteric Jesus. I took the time to watch the videos and must admit, with only a few nuances of language, the videos I viewed very closely reflect what I have come to know and understand about the teachings of the Magdalene. Though the methods may differ, the teachings revealed are nearly identical to what I teach (having learned these teachings through my work with Mary Magdalene and Yeshua). Whereas I found the AI delivery of these videos distracting, I found the content to be mostly sound. Admittedly, I didn’t learn anything new through these videos, but they have provided a solid ground on which I am finding affirmation and validation for my many years of devoted study and practice. Further, they have provided me with a deepening sense of confidence in the work I have done, and a renewed sense of motivation to continue.

The big question though:  WHAT EXACTLY DO I DO? This is the question I’ve been trying to answer for 25 years. This morning, the answer came:

I guide people through the narrow gate.

Like my teachers, Yeshua and Mary Magdalene, and using the methods learned through them, I provide instruction, guidance, and support for those in search of themselves. This is what some might call the spiritual journey. Psychology calls it the path toward individuation or self-actualization. Others call it enlightenment, ascension, or self-realization. By whatever name you call it, it is the same journey – the journey from awakening to the Truth beyond appearances. In personal terms, it is the journey from self-centeredness to universal consciousness.

Or to put it simply: it is the journey from fear to love.

Yeshua said that to truly accomplish this journey, one must enter through the narrow gate (MT 7: 13-14). Further, he acknowledged that few are able (or willing) to find it. In my own many years of doing this work, I can confirm that this is true. Many are willing to be captivated and enthralled by the early stages of awakening and spiritual growth, for here, everything feels new and exciting. Our curiosity is sparked and we find many ways to feed that curiosity. We feel special, magical, and maybe a little better than “normal” human beings. This is the easy part of the journey. Easy, however, does not last. If it does, you’re no longer growing, you are well entrenched in spiritual by-pass.

The journey through the narrow gate requires ever-deepening layers of self-examination, personal accountability, identification of ego attachments or wounds, healing and transformation. The closer we get to the heart of who we are, the more challenging the journey becomes. Every minute of every day, we are given an opportunity to see what within us remains wounded and then doing the work of healing that wound. It is only the few and the brave who are willing to enter through the narrow gate.  The journey is infinite and eternal, but it is only through the narrow gate that Love (our Truth) can be fully realized.

The Collective Shadow of the US

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On Wednesday, January 7, 2026, around 9:30 in the morning, Renee Nicole Good of Minneapolis was murdered by an ICE agent, shot in the face when she refused to comply with his unlawful order. The murder took place in the residential area of East 34th Street and South Portland Avenue in the Powderhorn Park neighborhood. Minneapolis, and all the world with them are mourning this tragedy and angered at the gross miscarriage of justice that would allow a mostly untrained officer to execute a mother of three without cause.

As the story continues to unfold, the whole world is watching and wondering, will this finally be the tipping point the United States needs to get out from under this reign of terror?

Sadly, I suspect not. If those in positions of perceived authority haven’t acted yet, I doubt the killing of an innocent white woman will motivate them to do anything now. Not because our so-called elected officials are evil (though some, including me, might argue this point), but because they, and the system they continue to support, are simply a reflection of the collective unacknowledged, and therefore unhealed shadow of this nation.

The ICE agent, yet to be named as of this writing, who murdered Renee Nicole Good, is like the characterization of most ICE agents: an angry, racist, possibly sexist, white man who is projecting his own fears and insecurities on those he has been told, and believes, are the cause of his suffering. Apparently women are included among those he hates. Or, woefully untrained in how to manage conflict or how to de-escalate a crisis, reacted out of panic or fear in shooting the mother of three who refused to comply with his unlawful requests.

Or maybe he shot her simply because she had the courage to say no.

We may never know what drove the ICE agent to kill Renee Good, but we can guess at the knee-jerk reaction that would incite anyone to even draw a gun.

The ICE agent reflects our shadow. He IS our shadow.

As I’ve said before, the United States was firmly established in misogyny and racism. Whereas policies have been implemented and laws passed that give us the illusion of freedom and equality, as any woman or person of color will tell you, we are not truly free. Neither are we treated equally under the law. In order for the United States to heal and become the dream it has presented to the world, it first has to acknowledge this truth, along with all the other truths the US does not want to admit. As Hasan Piker stated in a recent podcast, “The United States is the biggest terrorist of all time.”  He’s not wrong. Terror from the inside and terror on the outside. And until we address these difficult truths, we will never heal, and nothing will ever change.

Rest in peace Renee Nicole Good and may justice one day be served.

Not for the Masses

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

For years I have struggled to understand and make peace with the reality that very few people are attracted to the Magdalene work that I provide, and even fewer complete it. Now I get it:

The Magdalene is not for the masses!

While likely hundreds of books have been published in her name and a similar number of online resources are available, many of which offer their own versions of “Magdalene training” or offer retreats and pilgrimages in the name of the Magdalene, it is not to the resources and support I provide where people tend to gravitate. Formerly, I took this personally. Now, I acknowledge it as a victory of sorts – a victory, not for myself, but a victory for those who are called to the work I facilitate, especially to those who complete it.

The work of the Magdalene was never meant to be easy. Neither is it something to be entered into lightly for the purposes of puffing up the ego or making oneself feel special. If it was a challenge for Mary, who earned the title of Magdalene through her commitment to and mastery of these teachings, so shall it be for those who courageously embark upon this journey.

It was not to the masses, nor to the other disciples that the risen Christ was revealed. Neither were any of the other disciples ordained to continue the depth work facilitated by Jesus. It was only to Mary, called Magdalene, that these things were given.

The work of the Magdalene is hard. It requires discipline, tenacity, persistence, and a 100% commitment to radical personal accountability. The journey Mary completed under Jesus’ tutelage revealed to her the path through which one is able to overcome the inner demons (fears, unhealed wounds, societal conditioning) that prevent one from knowing their true nature as Love in Union with the All. With single-minded focus, Mary confronted each and every unhealed wound, false perception, non-loving conditioning, and fear which blocked her way from knowing this Love and in doing so, became the embodiment of Love – as Jesus himself had done. There is no other direct follower of Jesus said to have completed this work (with the possible exception of John – though recent scholarship suggests the writings attributed to John may in fact, have come from, Mary, herself).

As Mary’s accomplishment was rare, so has it been throughout history. It is only our pop-culture spirituality that might suggest otherwise. Contrary to mass-marketed spirituality, enlightenment cannot be bought. It can only be uncovered in bits and pieces as we diligently tend to every single obstacle to Love – including (especially) ourselves. This is not the work for the faint of heart. Instead, we must look in the mirror with excruciating scrutiny:

  • What are the lies we’ve told ourselves?
  • What are the attachments we’ve formed?
  • How are we feeding our egos with dreams of popularity, fame, power, or wealth?
  • Where are we making excuses for our inhumanity to our fellow human beings?
  • Where are we harboring hatred?
  • How are we hiding our true selves for the sake of other people’s approval?
  • Where are we depriving ourselves of the things we need to fit into the status quo?
  • How have we bought into capitalistic deceptions and in what ways have we sold our soul to “make it?”
  • What are the sensitivities we’ve ignored, the reactions we’ve excused, or the violence we’ve justified – toward others and to ourselves?

Few, I have found, are willing to be so honest, and fewer still are willing to accept the kind of accountability that true transformation requires. And that’s ok. Like Jesus, the Magdalene wears many faces – a symbol for some, an inspiration for others, and to those called to the depths – a psychopomp leading them on a journey through the underworld where their wounds may be transformed and their truest light revealed.

My most-recommended books on the Magdalene:

Bourgeault, Cynthia, The Meaning of Mary Magdalene – Discovering the Woman at the Heart of Christianity, Shambhala Publications, 2010.

DeQuillan, Jehanne, The Gospel of the Beloved Companion, Athara Editions, 2010.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Gospel of Mary Magdalene, Inner Traditions, 2002.

Remembering Who We Are

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

It seems I have forgotten who I am, and in the forgetting, I have become ill.

Beyond my work as an author, writer, spiritual director, and educator, I have another job. For forty-nine weeks of the year, the job is fine – good even. Three weeks of the year, not so much – not because of the job itself, but because of the price to my nervous system. Being a highly sensitive empathic introvert who struggles with the symptoms of C-PTSD, Epstein Barr, kidney disease, and hypothyroid, I’m vulnerable on a normal day. During these three weeks, ones that require much more from me than usual, I find I struggle. To survive these three weeks, I find I only have the bandwidth to show up where I need to be, when I need to be there, and complete the tasks required. After the work is complete all I have left is to go home and “rot” (ie: disassociate, recover).

During those three weeks, I find it impossible to be my normal self. Instead, I find myself being short-tempered, impatient, grumpy, and extra sensitive. Whereas I have done a pretty good job of cultivating detachment and a sense of peaceful ease during normal weeks, for these three weeks – all bets are off.

I don’t like who I become when everything around me ends up being a trigger.

Following those three weeks, I spend as much time as possible doing nothing, hermiting in my cave, resting, sleeping, and trying to return to my so-called normal. A big part of this return to “normal” is trying to remember who I am when my nervous system isn’t being overstimulated by too much sound, vibration, movement, light, and other people’s energies.

Now that those three weeks are over, little by little, I’m starting to remember.

When a task takes so much of our physical, emotional, and mental effort, it is easy to forget who we are REALLY. Getting lost in to-do lists, unexpected emergencies, other people’s emotions, and all the details that go into a monumental creation, it is easy to forget that we are not those tasks. We are not the emergencies. Neither are we other people’s emotions. Even with time to regroup and recover, remembering who we really are beyond these responsibilities is difficult at best.

  • Remembering requires separation. Separation and distance from what made us forget.
  • Remembering demands quiet, stillness, and silence – asking us to enter into that place of calm where our true self resides.
  • Remembering invites a return to routine – the routine out of which our body and soul feel nourished, safe, and supported.
  • Remembering asks us to listen – to listen to the “still-small voice,” that knows our truth and what is important for our Soul’s fulfillment.
  • Remembering is accomplished through practice – practicing the distance, the quiet, the routine, and the listening that support us in calling back all the strands of ourselves we have given away and then replanting them deep into the ground where they can begin (again) to thrive.

This year’s remembering has just begun, but already I’ve been reminded of why I’m really here. Not because of the tasks. Not because of the roles, certificates, or titles. Not because of what I do or how I make a living. I’m here to BE who I am and who I am meant to be and that has a specific symbol that has meaning only to me. If I share it, perhaps you’ll get a glimpse of the calling that will spark your own journey of remembering.

For nearly fifty years, (and many lifetimes), Lauri Ann Lumby has been a student and devote’ of Mary, called Magdalene. From original source material, Lauri has discovered remembered the secret teachings of Jesus, as they were revealed to the Magdalene. Lauri has applied these teachings in her own life and from this has developed a curriculum of practical study for those interested in remembering and embodying the truth of their original nature as Love.

Learn more here.

Sorrow, Melancholy, and Disappointment

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Goodbye 2025!

This morning, a dear friend of mine shared a traditional Sicilian prayer for the new year, along with its English translation:

The old year goes away and will never return.
May it take with it all my melancholy,
may it erase sadness
and the bitterness of dark days.
New Year, come forward, come on—
everyone celebrates you.
Bring joy, health, and love
to all the friends I carry in my HEART.
May it be a blessed year for everyone,
even if it won’t be perfect.
May the good Lord guide us
in the new year that is to come… Buon Anno

Thank you, Nina, for bringing forth the words that for so many describe the weird year of 2025.  To this list, I would add: disappointment.

2025 has truly been brutal. For empaths and sensitives, I think this is especially true. It’s just too much to be made to wear and then process the collective trauma of all that has transpired in the last year. Personally, I have felt very much like the silver ball in the pinball machine getting continually batted around by the player who refuses to take his finger off the G.D. red button.

I don’t need to go into any detail here. We all know. (If we don’t know, we’re either not paying attention or are one of the very few benefitting from the relentless chaos and abuse of this past year.)

Is 2026 going to be better?  I know better than to offer predictions or promises.

It’s like the meme I keep seeing on social media:

“What if we all died in 2020 and now we’re living in hell?”

Somedays it feels like that – even for those of us who have spent the last many years cultivating detachment, bullet-proof boundaries, and witness consciousness. It seems no matter how much inner work we have done, or how many lessons we have mastered, we cannot help but find ourselves triggered by what is happening in the world around us and within those close to us. And if you’re a recovering perfectionist like me, we can’t help but be frustrated and disappointed with ourselves when we find ourselves triggered – and even more so when we find ourselves reacting to these triggers out of our unhealed wounds – wounds that we arrogantly believed we had healed for good. HAH!

Turns out, we’re never fully healed. I cannot tell you how much this fact hurts my perfectionistic soul. I guess I’m not the Messiah I one day hoped I would be. Neither, it turns out, do I have a foundation for my self-righteousness. To my utter despair, I’m just as irreparably flawed as anyone else.  

For me, this year has been especially hard on my perfectionistic nature, leaving me feeling deep sorrow, melancholy, and disappointment – yes, at the world around us, but even more so with myself. I’m sad for the times my wounds got the best of me. I’m sorry for those who ended up being the target of my reactions. I wish I was better at detaching from other people’s reactions and more compassionate toward their unhealed wounds. I wish I was more adept at withholding judgment and simply letting people be – especially when my discerning eye sees something that I think could be done in a better way.

As it relates to the world…..my heart just breaks. I will never, ever, ever, understand the cruelty of human beings. I will never comprehend the “need” for war. I will never understand how human beings can stand back as other human beings are starving, homeless, or living in poverty. I will never comprehend why certain men hoard wealth while turning a blind eye to the millions upon millions of human beings who are struggling just to survive. All of this really makes me truly sad and questioning the need for human beings. I often think the world really would be better off without us.

And maybe that’s the point. Human beings do not add a single thing to this planet. And yet, here we are – an experiment of some alien god to see how long it takes us to fail or an expression of another God (Love) hoping we will one day succeed in remembering who we are and find our way home?  At the end of the day, I guess the reason why doesn’t matter. What matters is what we do with this life we’ve been given. Do we choose a life of selfishness and hatred, or do we do our best to choose Love? No matter how many times that pinball paddle hurts me, I continue to choose Love – at least I try to.  

So, with this, I return to Nina’s prayer and offer it up as a prayer for us all. May it be fulfilled as we step cautiously and timidly into this new year.

With love,

Lauri

What Are We Celebrating – Really?

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What is Christmas – really?
We claim to be celebrating
The birth of a child
Who later became a man.

But what version of the man do we honor?
The one who taught us Love,
Or the one who causes us to hate?

I will always choose the former,
Yet I’m amazed at how many continue,
In his name,
Choosing hate.
It makes me not want to honor
The birth of the child
Lest some confuse me
With those choosing hatred in his name.

Neither am I comfortable calling myself “Christian”
For all the baggage now heaped upon the name.

  • The name raised as a banner in war.
  • A name forced upon others under threat of death.
  • The name hurled in condemnation over those feeling no other option than choice.
  • A name used as justification for the subjugation of women, children, and the foreigner.
  • A name that has built walls, and prisons, and instruments of torture.
  • A name men in power claim, who couldn’t see Him if He was staring them in the face.

Because of all of this,
Christmas to me has become
Just another day –
And like all other days,
A time to reflect on Love,
And how to Be and Live it more fully –
Just as Jesus did.

“Women Can’t Image Christ”? Why the Hell Not!?

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 5 Comments

It’s been a minute since I’ve gone head-to-head with the Catholic Church, but the Vatican’s most recent statement forbidding women to be ordained as deacons has provided just the right amount of fuel to fan my flames of righteousness.

Before I get into the grisly details, let me start by saying this:

In no way, shape, or form, do I have any interest in being ordained by an institution defined by clericalism deeply rooted in misogyny; and to be honest, I’m a little suspect of women who would want to be ordained into that patriarchal/hierarchical power-hungry fraternity.

That being said, as a woman with a ministerial calling, who considers Jesus her teacher and who has modeled her own ministry on Jesus’ example. I am living proof that a vocational calling to serve is not limited to men. Further, there is scriptural proof that Jesus commissioned women to serve (Mary Magdalene) along with historical evidence of women in the early church who served as both deacons and in priestly roles.

Now let’s get to the grisly details. From the National Catholic Reporter: “A Vatican commission studying the possibility of female deacons reported that the current state of historical and theological research ‘excludes the possibility of proceeding’ toward admitting women to the diaconate.”  In other words, seven men voted against the ordination of women into the diaconate. The justification for this exclusion, stated in a commentary signed by retired Italian Cardinal Giuseppe Petrocchi, was that “women cannot image Christ.”

WHAT?!

It’s one thing for the Church to use big-T tradition, and little t – tradition as it’s excuse for not ordaining women. It’s also a well-known and documented fact that the institution of the Catholic Church has done everything in its power to keep women down, holding women to different standards than men, scrutinizing women saints more ruthlessly than their male counterparts, ignoring and then demonizing the very women Jesus appointed to continue his ministry, etc. etc. etc. We have long known the Church to be a bastion of misogyny, despite their protestations.

Me thinkest they protesteth too much – and this recent statement proves it. In these words, the Church has finally laid bare the truth of their beliefs – women are less than, and therefore unworthy of imaging Christ.

It’s funny to me, really (funny ironic, and funny sad). Because despite everything I was taught and the promises that were made in my own ministerial training within the Catholic Church, I experienced directly the privilege men, especially priests, received in the Church. Men are held to lesser standards than women, afforded greater opportunities, and awarded with advancement and praise. I received the identical education and training as my male counterparts, yet they were rewarded with ordination. I, and my female co-horts were not. When I experienced scrutiny and harassment by the local self-appointed inquisition, the Church did not have my back, instead, it joined the bandwagon.  For the men, with whom I served, who were acting amorally, the Church just looked the other way.

Women have always been treated as “other” in the Catholic Church, but to say that women cannot “image Christ,” is just bad theology!

Isn’t “imaging Christ” exactly what we’ve been taught????? Isn’t this what we were told in twelve years of Catholic school? Isn’t this what scripture invites us to be and do? Aren’t we all called to “be Christ in the world?”

If this is no longer, or has never been true for women, then what’s the point? Why adhere to Jesus’ teachings? Why follow his example? Why “put on Christ” if it’s really only men who can image him?

In saying that women cannot image Christ, regardless of the call to be ordained, the Church has told millions of women throughout history who have called Jesus teacher, served in his name, been the Love he called us to be in the world, that we don’t matter.

And you know what, they’re right. We DO NOT MATTER –  to the Church. We never have. The Church has just pretended we matter because it is the women who have always done the work.

Maybe not anymore. In light of the knowledge of what the Church actually believes about women, maybe we should leave (I technically left long ago). Without those of us who “cannot image Christ,” the Church would collapse. And maybe that’s exactly what the Church deserves.

In the meantime, I still consider Jesus to be my teacher and Mary Magdalene my guide. I continue working on being the Love Jesus calls us to be in the world. I know that despite what the Church says, I am doing my best to “image Christ,” as are all the women I know who hold up Love as their purpose and mission, because the truth is, the Church does not have the power to deny what Christ has already ordained.

Finally, my official response to the Church – a big fat F-you!