The Big Sorting

I’m day four into recovering from laparoscopic abdominal surgery and I finally have some energy to put some recent observations of the world and my/our place in it in writing.

This is a strange time. To put it into the simplest of terms, humanity is involved in a massive kind of sorting – the likes of which I’m not sure we’ve ever seen. As is always the case with human beings, but even more so now with the reality of global communication, this sorting is happening on both the micro and macro levels. At the heart of this sorting is the question of choice – are we (individually and as a collective) choosing truth or falsehood.

Between our human conditioning, past woundings, and the collective distribution of falsehoods, the choice is not easy. Making the choice even more challenging is the reality that in the dualistic world in which we’ve been living, success and advancement are often achieved through deception; and because human beings find hype and tabloid delivery entertaining and exciting, it is what most commonly sells.

Case in point: Since the age of 12, I have been a devoted student of the Magdalene. I have read every scholarly work out there, and studied the research of every scholar. What we can discern as plausible truth about the Magdalene is actually pretty boring. Based on available research, the Magdalene was most likely an ordinary Jewish woman who found herself drawn to a traveling preacher and who became enraptured by his teachings. Ancient texts confirm that she was likely Jesus’ most devoted student and the one who most wholly absorbed his deepest teachings. She was taught in secret because she grasped things the other disciples did not. She was the one chosen to be witness to (maybe even facilitated) Jesus’ resurrection and deliver the news to the other disciples. After Jesus’ resurrection, it is possible that she traveled to share Jesus’ message and teachings of Love. Where she went is under some debate though there are enough local legends to support the possibility that she went to Egypt, France, and possibly Ephesus and less possibly Britain. That is not to say, however, that her disciples didn’t carry her message to these far-flung places. It was said that Mary was intimate with Jesus – but whether that was sexual, or merely a beloved spiritual partnership, we will never know. We will also never know if Mary and Jesus had a child. I’m not opposed to this idea, but there is really nothing to prove it one way or another. Like I said, boring. There’s really nothing special here, which is partly why I suspect the version of the Magdalene that I stand by doesn’t sell. I don’t use flashy words or popular new age terminology in reference to the Magdalene because there is nothing scholarly or academic to support it. Are any of those versions of the Magdalene possible – sure.  But until science proves otherwise, they are not truth.

Which brings me back to my point about the big sorting. Together we are experiencing a time of great sorting, and together, it is our choices which will determine the future course of humanity. Will we continue to be a species living from agreements and systems rooted in falsehoods and deceptions, or will we together be advocates of truth?

My choice is and has always been truth. And believe me, truth has cost me. My commitment to truth makes it impossible for me to fit into the current system. I literally become physically ill when in the company of deceivers, liars, and systems that lie. Everything in me wants to scream when I discover corruption or deception in an institution with which I am affiliated. Repeatedly, I have had to leave institutions behind because of the lies they refuse to see for themselves, or for which they are actually proud. As a result, I have had to stand alone in a little place I’ve carved out for myself. The good news is that where I was once alone, I now find myself surrounded by an increasingly growing network of others who find themselves equally unable to abide by the deception and corruption of the dying world and who want only to stand on the side of truth and love.

I also find myself increasingly aware of those who continue to choose falsehood. This is the personal part of the sorting. This part is difficult. It’s one thing to stand in our own truth, it’s another to watch someone we care for choose deception and falsehood because it benefits them in some way. It’s not our job to change their choice.  All we can do is be witness to their choice. Grieve the disappointment we might feel and let them be.

Here’s the nitty gritty of things. For me, this big sorting is all about witness consciousness.  As it relates to the world, I watch, I observe, I wait. I make note of the deceptions and the way falsehoods are delivered and I observe who buys into them. Equally, I watch for those who see through the deceptions and corruptions to the deeper truths waiting to be revealed. I refrain from challenging, confronting, or pointing out that “the emperor has no clothes,” trusting that the system itself is in its own kind of sorting. Humanity is sorting itself out. On a personal basis, it is observing what and who in my life are rooted in truth and what may not be and deciding how I want to engage with that, or not. At this writing, the sorting is still taking place with no definitive answers about what is staying or what needs to go. I’m also aware that the time for decisions is not yet ripe so I continue to wait and watch. The truth will show itself when its time is right and no sooner than that.


To me, the Magdalene was the one who most wholly absorbed the depth of Jesus’ teachings on Love. These teachings, are ultimately about discovering our own Truth and then moving through the inner obstacles to living that Truth. Abraham Maslow called the fulfillment of that journey “Self-Actualization.” It is for this reason that my Magdalene formation program is about personal growth and self-discovery.

Honing Our Witness Practice

Being an objective witness to the natural unfolding of the universe without interjecting our own need to control, our unhealed wounds, or our desperate desire to feel safe, is a really difficult task. If we have the ability to read people, events and choices for the likely outcome they will produce, it makes being witness even more challenging.

As one who has almost always been right (I admit a shred of pride in sharing this, but mostly it is a statement of historical fact), it physically hurts me to watch people I care about stepping in a direction that I know will likely cause them harm. Further, it enrages me when I watch liars and charlatans taking advantage of the weak and vulnerable and gaining wealth and notoriety while doing so. As a first-born who developed the defense mechanisms of fixer and protector, I want with my whole soul to intervene. Intervention, I have learned, rarely helps and most often harms. (The exception being life-choices that may be life-threatening.)

Being an objective witness requires that we lay our need to control aside, allowing individuals to make their own choices – no matter how poor those choices might be. The savior in me cringes in even writing this, but it is true. What I am continually reminded of is that each of us is on our own individual journey and who we choose to be and how we choose to follow our path is really nobody else’s business but our own. We are here to learn our own lessons – or not learn them as the case may be.

Instead of reaching out in warning, putting forth a challenge, or getting emotionally worked up over human beings’ choices, we are invited to stand back. Watch. Observe. For me, this includes the additional practice of silencing my inner critic who stands in judgment with arms crossed in self-righteousness.  Further, I find I am invited to acknowledge the strong outward pull of my unhealed wounds of fixer and protector, and draw that pull inward, reminding myself that it is not my job to fix or protect others from their potentially harmful decisions. Sometimes I have to sit on my hands, bite my tongue, and close my eyes, my whole body shaking in effort as I wrestle that former impulse to intervene into stillness.

Being objective witness is not easy, but as my Zen friends would say, “We are all here in our own sit.” It is not my job to interfere with the life-journey of another. The best I can do is use what I see as seeds for my own healing and growth, while giving others the freedom to experience the consequences of their choices and the opportunities for learning that come in those choices. Further, I can share the lessons I’ve learned and the tools I’ve gathered in the event that some might find them helpful.

How are you honing your witness practice?


Being objective witness begins with our own journey of self-awareness and healing. The Authentic Freedom protocol developed by Lauri Ann Lumby is a great place to get started with that healing.

Learn more about Authentic Freedom here and how you can begin that journey.

The Practice of Bearing Witness

Today has been a weird day – a study of contrasts of sorts. For me, the day began as it normally does – in prayer. Then a friend and I set out on an art adventure. On both of our minds were the ongoing protests in Los Angeles, along with the “No Kings” protests scheduled all around the country for today – purposefully to coincide with the “Big Beautiful Birthday Parade.” Our shared hope was that the protests be peaceful and the protestors safe. Equally, we voiced our concerns over the state of our nation – the threats to our freedoms, along with the failing system of checks and balances that we were taught were supposed to protect these freedoms.

We are living in uncertain times – times that trigger our fears and appropriately incite our righteous anger. The temptation to react to these triggers through violence is strong. A fire burns within us in the face of injustices being done to our fellow human beings, especially the most vulnerable among us. And yet, violence only begets more violence and burning with hatred solves nothing. Instead, we are invited to seek a different path.

For me, the path has always been quiet, solitary, and non-violent. As an introvert, you will never find me at a protest. Neither will you find me inciting violence against the perceived “other.” Even today, in light of the political assassinations in my own hometown of Minneapolis, I cannot feel hatred toward the assassin. I can only feel deep sorrow for one who is so broken to believe this was the right and appropriate thing to do. Further, my prayers go out to the deceased, their families, and friends.

Our nation is profoundly broken. The easy thing is to choose sides, hating on one while celebrating the other. Out of our instinctual need to feel safe, we might spiral into anticipatory planning – imagining every possible scenario while planning our response. In our need to control, we may believe that taking action is the best response including reacting to every trigger thrown our way.

The reality is this mess is not going to resolve itself overnight. We cannot anticipate the direction this current unfolding of the American experiment will take. We cannot predict what the horse loose in the hospital will do or attempt to do. Really, all we can do is be present to this moment, wait, breathe, and watch. If we are called to respond, take action, speak out, etc., it is only in the present moment that the proper response will be revealed.

For me, this ongoing unfolding/unraveling of the “American Dream” has provided an opportunity for me to hone my practice of non-action as demonstrated in my call to simply be witness. Further, it has shown me over and over my tendency to want to control, change, or fix what I perceive to be disordered or wrong. This practice has carried over not only in relation to American politics, but also into my everyday life.

You see, I’m a recovering perfectionist. For sixty years, I believed it was my job to fix and change everything that (to me) appears to be wrong. With great moral certitude and an eye for judgment, I have spent my life with a gavel in one hand and my pen of righteousness in the other. With troubleshooting as a highly cultivated defense mechanism, resentment and self-righteousness have fueled my journey as I try to share my “gifts” and get met with a brick wall.

Oh yes, I could most definitely be right about what is wrong and I may even know how to fix it……but, is that really my job? Is that why I was put here, to “heal and save the world?” With the amount of resistance I’ve faced because of my “gifts,” I would say “probably not.”

It’s not my job to save the world. It’s not my job to save our nation. It’s not my job to fix what is broken or repair what has gone wrong. Instead, it is my job to cultivate my own peace while bearing witness to all that is happening before me, and to be here for those who might need support in cultivating their own peace in a world gone mad, or to provide comfort to those who find themselves in their own personal battles trying to get through this thing called life.

Life is hard enough without making every conflict our own. As much as it grieves me to admit this, I have found that when we allow things to unfold on their own, they tend to find their own resolution – the horse will one day either find its way out of the hospital or it will die trying.

Will the Real Magdalene Please Stand Up?

In the forty years (or so) that I have been working with Mary Magdalene I have come across at least a million different theories about who she was/is, what her life looked like, where she lived, who she slept with and who her children might be. In the twenty years (or so) that I have been actively studying and researching the Magdalene, I have read at least a hundred books specifically dedicated to her which also bears their own theories of the Magdalene.  Some call her an Ascended Master, others an Essene High Priestess, others a prostitute, others an adulterous woman, others the Sang Grael and the mother of a dynasty of European kings and queens (Jesus’ own progeny), and some claim her as a goddess.  Most of these books are based entirely on theory, oral legend or claim to have been “directly channeled” from the Magdalene herself.

Scholars who study the Magdalene refrain from making such claims and instead stick to what they are able to glean from archeological evidence, scripture itself, and ancient re-discovered manuscripts.  My personal preference is to lean toward a more scholarly approach while avoiding the temptation to either define the Magdalene or condemn another’s theory.  It is for this reason that I call my book Song of the Beloved – the Gospel According to Mary Magdalene fiction.  At the end of the day, unless we were there, we know nothing certain about the Magdalene, and until we have passed from this plane, we will never know.

All that being said, I cannot discount the direct, personal experiences and revelations I have had of the Magdalene (and Jesus) through my meditation and prayer.  These revelations have guided and informed my work – my writing and publishing, but most importantly, these revelations guided and informed the human development courses that I have developed and which now make up the Magdalene Priest/ess Training.  This work is rooted in scripture (canonical as well as non-canonical) and embraces the rich tradition of Christian contemplative meditation and prayer practices as its foundation. This work is further supported by modern theories of human development as they have been expressed through Humanist and Transpersonal Psychology. 

Through the integration of scholarly research and personal revelation, what I have come to understand about the Magdalene and the view I present to the world is that:

  • She was not the adulterous woman of scripture.
  • The “healed of seven demons” said of her is likely referring to a formal process of initiation that supported her journey of self-actualization which she underwent with Jesus’ guidance, successfully completed, and then went on to teach others.
  • She is the only one is scripture said to have completed such a process.
  • She stood beside Jesus (unlike his other disciples who hid in the Upper Room) through his trial, crucifixion, death and burial.
  • She was the one to whom the Resurrected Christ was revealed and THE ONE commissioned to bring the news to the other disciples.
  • She continued to have direct, personal and private visitations by Christ through which he imparted upon her his secret teachings. When she tried to share these teachings with the other disciples they ridiculed and condemned her.

All of these “theories” of the Magdalene are taken directly from scripture and affirmed through scholarship (See resources below).

Beyond this, I personally like to believe that Jesus and Mary were husband and wife and that they were equal, co-ministers in sharing the law of love.  I also like to believe that Mary is the only one to have received the full understanding and knowledge of what Jesus came to teach and that she was chosen by Jesus to continue his work.  Legend tells us that she went forth from Palestine and ventured to Alexandria, Egypt, the South of France and perhaps even Glastonbury, England in her journey of sharing the message of love.  None of this can be verified, but it resonates as truth to me.

And you, O tower of the flock,
hill of daughter Zion,
to you it shall come,
the former dominion shall come,
the sovereignty of daughter Jerusalem.

Now why do you cry aloud?
Is there no king in you?
Has your counselor perished,

that pangs have seized you like a woman in labor?
Writhe and groan,O daughter Zion,
like a woman in labor;
for now you shall go forth from the city
and camp in the open country;
you shall go to Babylon.

There you shall be rescued,
there the Lord will redeem you
from the hands of your enemies.

Now many nations
are assembled against you,
saying, “Let her be profaned,
and let our eyes gaze upon Zion.”
But they do not know
the thoughts of the Lord;
they do not understand his plan,
that he has gathered them as sheaves to the threshing floor.
Arise and thresh,
O daughter Zion,
for I will make your horn iron
and your hoofs bronze;
you shall beat in pieces many peoples,
 and shalldevote their gain to the Lord,
 their wealth to the Lord of the whole earth.

Micah 4: 8-13

Select Resources

Bourgeault, Cynthia, The Meaning of Mary Magdalene – Discovering the Woman at the Heart of Christianity, Shambhala Publications, 2010.

Haskins, Susan, Mary Magdalene – Myth and Metaphor, Harcourt Brace & Company, 1993.

King, Karen, L., The Gospel of Mary of Magdala – Jesus and the First Woman Apostle, Polebridge Press, 2003.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, Judas and Jesus – Two Faces of a Single Revelation, Inner Traditions, 2006.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Gospel of Mary Magdalene, Inner Traditions, 2002.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Gospel of Philip, Inner Traditions, 2003.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Gospel of Thomas, Inner Traditions, 2005.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Sacred Embrace of Jesus and Mary – The Sexual Mystery at the Heart of the Christian Tradition, Inner Traditions, 2005.

MacDermot, Violet, The Fall of Sophia – A Gnostic Text on the Redemption of Universal Consciousness, Lindisfarne Books, 2001.

Malachi, Tau, The Gnostic Gospel of St. Thomas – Meditations on the Mystical Teachings, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2004.

Malachi, Tau, Gnosis of the Cosmic Christ – a Gnostic Christian Kabbalah, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2005.

Malachi, Tau, Living Gnosis – A Practical Guide to Gnostic Christianity, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2005.

Malachi, Tau, St. Mary Magdalene – The Gnostic Tradition of the Holy Bride, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2006.


Undoing Toxic Capitalistic Conditioning

I am not afraid to publicly admit my vulnerability or share my woundedness. I have observed that in being open and transparent, others are often able to find healing themselves, or at the very least validation for their own feelings and experiences.

Most recently, the thing with which I am most struggling is my sense of failure and shame over where I find myself in my life. Nowhere in my life have I succeeded in the ways in which we are measured or judged in a capitalistic society. I’ve never been given opportunities for wealth. I’ve never had enough discretionary income to save or invest. I don’t have a wall full of awards. I’m not popular in the capitalistic sense of popularity. I’ve never even been “Almost Famous.”

Instead, the opportunities I’ve been given led me to a kind of calling that cannot be measured through externals but only by what is within. At one time, I received validation, affirmation, support, praise and even a sort of notoriety through said-calling, but even that was taken from me (rather, I chose obedience to a calling over obedience to an institution).

Since leaving the institution of the Catholic Church, I’ve been out in the world doing what I have felt called to do. But as of this moment, even this seems to be falling away. Instead of having something somewhat tangible to hold, I find myself doing work to pay my bills that in some ways has its own kind of reward, but which strongly suppresses what I consider to be my truest gifts. There is a sense of emptiness and loss as my gifts lay dying on the ground while I’m just trying to survive in a world that was not made for me.

I’m tired. I feel empty. I’m quite close to abandoning any and all hope of fulfillment in the sense that we’ve been conditioned to believe we are deserving of.

One thing I’ve learned in this life is that we don’t deserve shit. Hard work does not equal success. Neither does a so-called Divine calling. But how, really, is Divine Calling measured?

  • Jesus was crucified.
  • Joan of Arc was burned at the stake.
  • Edith Stein was sent to the gas chamber.
  • Maximilian Kolbe died by lethal injection.
  • Gandhi was assassinated.
  • Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated.
  • Nelson Mandella was imprisoned and tortured.

A Divine Calling provides no guarantees. And yet, for some of us, it seems we have no choice but to follow this so-called Divine path, sacrificing capitalistic rewards for something else.

Today I’m not sure what that “something else” might be. Instead, I feel like I’m drowning in a sense of failure and its accompanying shame. The voice of this shame is continually trying to convince me I did something wrong, I chose the wrong path, and my true gifts don’t really matter. Everyday I feel like I’m bumping up against an impenetrable wall keeping me from my gifts and those who find them to be of value. It’s exhausting and heartbreaking.

And I know I’m not alone. This is why I’m baring my soul. I see you. In know who you are. You are my closest friends and companions who have equally “failed” in the capitalistic sense. You are the intuitives, neurodiverse, visionaries, prophets, and sensitive souls who have found this world simply too much to bear. Many of you struggle with “chronic illness,” in a world for which you were not made. I see you.  I know you.  I’ve heard your stories. Our stories are very much the same.

This too was Jesus’ story and the story of many who followed him:

“I have given them your Word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it.”  John 17: 14-16

Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world.” John 18:36

As those who are called to be and do the work of Love in a world that wants to divide through hatred, we, like Jesus, are not of this world. Instead, we are working on a different plane (so to speak). The work we do is vibrational. It is spiritual. It is energetic. It is intangible and subjective. It cannot be measured by either mathematics, physics, or capitalism. While we may know and believe this in the depths of our soul, this does not free us from the conflict between what our hearts know and what the world wants us to believe. This is where our spiritual practice becomes ever-more important. For me it is this:

  1. I first had to recognize the sense of failure and shame – in how it has been coming out sideways, then as it is anchored in my conditioning.
  2. Then, through inner pondering, I had to identify the nature and source of that shame. Where did I learn this? How is it part of my conditioning? How is it proving harmful.
  3. Then, I chose a self-forgiveness practice to support the healing and release of that shame.
  4. This practice is an ongoing work in progress, but I know that and know to have patience with myself as I heal.
  5. I’m also seeing all the ways in which I try to barrel through the pain of this shame and am TRYING to choose self-care and rest over forcing myself to abide by the “rules of survival.”
  6. Then comes the hard part – trusting that as I care for myself my material needs will be taken care of.

This capitalistic world is not made for us. Yet we have spent our entire lives being conditioned by its rules and measures of success. Undoing toxic capitalistic conditioning isn’t easy. But if we feel called to be Love, we have no choice but to transcend the capitalistic conditioning that has kept the entire world imprisoned. In undoing this conditioning, we are freed from this imprisonment, while providing an example that others may one day choose to follow.

Oh….and here’s a great anthem for undoing toxic capitalistic conditioning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwhBRJStz7w


The Authentic Freedom protocol, created by Lauri Ann Lumby, provides a solid and reliable framework for undoing toxic conditioning and healing our inner spiritual wounds. Into the Wilderness guides you through the in-depth process of learning and applying this process for the sake of your own liberation and freedom.

Magdalene Training Open For Enrollment

As the current group of students in the Magdalene Training Program are approaching the end of their training, and preparing to celebrate their final ordination, I am opening the Magdalene Training Program for the next group of interested students.

The Magdalene Training Program provides resources, knowledge, and tools to support you in your journey of self-discovery and empowered self-actualization.

Through this eighteen-month training program, you will:

  • Become rooted in scholarly and intuitive knowledge of the Magdalene, her role in the ministry of Jesus, and her leadership in the ongoing mission of Love.
  • Discern your own unique giftedness and how you are called to use these gifts for the sake of your own fulfillment and in service to the world.
  • Learn practical skills for uncovering and healing all that separates you from Love and from living as your most authentic self.
  • Rediscover ancient knowledge and practices for self-healing.
  • Cultivate and deepen your contemplative life while growing in contentment and compassion.

Created and facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby

64 weeks of content

7 individual courses

6 private mentoring sessions

With its focus on developmental psychology, mindfulness practices, and the historical Magdalene, this training is unlike any other out there. This program maintains the integrity of the psychological and healing training that Mary, called Magdalene undertook through the guidance of her teacher, Jesus of Nazareth, by keeping the story of the Magdalene in its proper place within the Judeo-Christian narrative. Consistent with the Way of Love as Jesus taught it, the Magdalene Training program transcends dogma and doctrine, thereby restoring the essence of Jesus’ authentic teachings as they were lived out uniquely through the Magdalene and those who eventually became her students.

Resources used in this training include:

  • Canonical and non-canonical scripture (including The Gospel of Mary Magdalene).
  • The Universal Spiritual Gifts Inventory
  • The Enneagram Temperament Profile
  • The Aramaic Lord’s Prayer
  • The Chakra System
  • The Authentic Freedom™ Protocol
  • The Ignatian Spiritual Exercises
  • Ignatius’ Rules of Discernment
  • Meditation and Mindfulness
  • Creativity Practices
  • Guided and self-created ritual

Created and facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby

64 weeks of content (done in your own time at your own pace)

7 individual online courses

6 private mentoring sessions (via ZOOM)

To learn more and begin your enrollment, please click HERE.


Please enjoy the FREE Magdalene Training preview course by clicking on the image to the left.

The Third Way

In the New Age and Ascension communities there has been an uptick in discussion around the idea of two timelines. Most commonly, these two timelines are described (loosely) as one being made of those anchored in illusion while the second is made of those who are woke. The theory is that these two timelines exist along parallel planes and represent the division of the world – ultimately creating two completely different human worlds.

The problem with the timeline theory is its sole purpose is to divide for the purpose of separating humans into those on the right/good timeline, and those on the wrong/bad timeline. Whereas it is natural for human beings to categorize for the purpose of gathering those of like-mind together, thereby creating the illusion of strength. Instead of creating strength, division makes us weak. Humanity is only strong when we come together for the purpose of serving the all, not just the vision or needs of those of our self-identified group.

Instead of the two-timeline theory, I propose that there is in fact, a third way. The Third Way is already before us if we are willing to see past the division that human beings are so busy creating.

Let me provide a concrete example from a recent discussion I found myself drawn into. The discussion came out of a group who identify as anti-vax. These are people who believe they have been seriously injured by vaccines or they know others who have been injured. Standing in the position of being against vaccinations, they have placed themselves in (sometimes violent) opposition to those in favor of vaccines.

The pro-vaccine people, I have observed, can be equally virulent in their opposition to the anti-vax people – accusing them of being ignorant, uninformed, biased, etc.

These opposing positions around the topic of vaccines has been painted as an illustration of the two separate timelines. Anti-vaxxers on a path to creating one kind of world, while pro-vaxxers are creating their own kind of earth. Both camps believe they are right and both claim wokeness to some degree.

Nowhere in these conversations has anyone proposed that there might be a third way and that it is the third way that could successfully bring – NOT JUST SOME – but ALL HUMANS into a new way of being human. I’m proposing this third way.

The Third Way, I believe, starts first where human beings tend to naturally flow – in division. Opposing opinions, opposing beliefs, competing knowledge, etc.  Instead of remaining in that division, however, we reach across the divide for the higher wisdom that is hidden within the perceived conflict.

As it relates to vaccines, for example, I don’t believe either side is wrong. The challenge has been that each side treats the other as the enemy and believes their way is the only way. I believe that there is a third way in which neither is the enemy, but instead, both are working together to gather and share knowledge, thereby allowing individuals to make their own well-informed choice. In this we bear the burden of due diligence along with the consequences of that choice.

The world of Love, that so many of us seek, is not born out of division. Neither is it born out of a need to be right while making others wrong. Instead, the world of Love is inviting us to choose a different way – one that listens deeply, one that exercises curiosity, one that honors the individual while seeking the common good, and one that recognizes that in our division we are weak and it is only in our union that we will not only survive, but thrive.

Bearing the Magdalene Wound

The Crucifixions of the Magdalene: Jesus was lucky, he only had to be crucified once.  Mary Magdalene, on the other hand, was crucified more times than we could ever count.  She was crucified first for being born a woman.  She was crucified again by whatever it was in her life that caused her to need to be healed of “seven demons.”  She was crucified as she walked with her Beloved to his death and then watched as he was nailed to the cross and as he suffered the agonizing death by crucifixion.  She was crucified again when she and her companions took Jesus’ bleeding, broken and beaten body off the cross and laid it in the tomb.  She was crucified again as the stone was rolled over the opening of the tomb and she said her final goodbyes.  Again she was crucified when Jesus appeared to her on Easter morning and then just as quickly disappeared from her sight.  Again as she went to tell the male disciples and they did not believe her.  Again and again and again as Jesus appeared to her in prayer imparting secret teachings and every time disappearing from her sight.  Again as she was asked by the male disciples to share what Jesus had taught her and who then rejected her teachings along with the love Jesus had for her.  Again as she was apparently no longer welcome by the Jerusalem community of disciples and left to fend for herself.  Again and again and again as she made her way in the world carrying the burden of all these crucifixions in her heart, along with the new and fresh crucifixions everytime her mission of love was rejected.  And then…..the millions of countless crucifixions that have happened since her death anytime an individual or the Church ignored her role in Jesus’ life and ministry, denied the calling Jesus gave to her, rejected her as prostitute, adulterous woman or whore, demoted the important initiatory process (healed of seven demons) she underwent as demonic possession, denied women’s rightful and necessary place within the mission of love, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.  The list is endless.

The Burden of Pain: This is the Magdalene Wound and one that is carried in some degree by all women being called forth to resurrect the Magdalene and reclaim her rightful place in the mission of love by taking on this mission ourselves.  As one who bears this wound, I must tell you that it is excruciating.  It is a burden I would not wish on another, and yet I know literally hundreds of women who share this burden with me on behalf of the Magdalene (with many not knowing or understanding the source of this excruciating pain) and who continue to feel the pain of crucifixion everytime the world cries out for the lost feminine.

Excruciating Longing: The Magdalene Wound is known by a longing that cannot be quenched.  It is a pain that has no relief.  It is the feeling of constantly beating one’s head against the wall seemingly getting nowhere.  It is the pain of constant rejection.  Of speaking and sharing truth and seeing it fall on deaf ears.  It is the painful longing of missing our beloved and finding nothing to take its place.  It is the knowledge of having been loved beyond measure, of being held in rapt adoration and worshipped for our gifts…and then having that love torn from our grasp.  It is the pain of knowing that literally millions of women throughout history have been subject to rejection, abuse, even killed simply because they were born a woman in a world where the masculine rules….knowing that at one time in the history of patriarchal culture, there was ONE MAN who honored women as equal, elevating them to positions equal with their male counterparts and who called all of humanity to do the same…and that the first action taken by those who had the opportunity to fulfill this man’s vision was to sell out the women in favor of the presiding cultural norm….and that this single act has kept women subservient for 2000+ years!  It is the constant and enduring pain of a world that is suffering and feeling the blows of this suffering in our own bodies, hearing the cries with our own ears, seeing it with our own eyes and knowing we possess the remedy to this suffering if only….someone…..anyone….would care to ask. I can’t speak for others, but I know for myself, the Magdalene Wound makes me weary…a bone crushing, soul splitting weariness longing for the world to be made free.  It is the same burden of truth that Jesus carried – a truth for which he was willing to die.

Our Cross to Bear: This is the Magdalene Wound and I’m sad to say I’m not sure there is a remedy to this wound.  It is the cross we have to bear as those who have been called to restore the Magdalene (and all women with her) to her rightful place in history and in our world.  I’m not sure we will see the fulfillment of this resurrection in our lifetime, but there are signs of its happening and it is not just about the plethora of research, writings and books that have been accomplished on behalf of the Magdalene.  It includes all ways in which women are finding their voice, speaking their truth and rediscovering their rightful place in world that 5000 years ago stole their power from them.  I am humbled and honored to be a part of this movement and grateful for the resources and tools that have come through me in support of the mission of love as Mary Magdalene had envisioned and embodied it.


The work of the Magdalene is not for the faint of heart. Saying yes to her call and embarking on her path will bring you to your knees. The Magdalene journey is first deeply personal – bringing you face to face with your shadow – all that is need of healing and all that desires to be transformed – freeing you from illusion so that only Love might remain.

Does the Universe Have a Plan?

I’m starting right off with all the caveats to what I’m about to write.  Yes, my observations could be 100% white, ableist privilege. They may also be (a term I recently learned) confirmation bias. Or I’m naïve, thrive on wishful thinking, or believe in magic. Any and all of this and more are possibly true.

HOWEVER

Every ancient spiritual text, including the Tao te Ching, the Torah, and Christian scripture seem to agree on one thing: the Universe (aka God) has a plan, and that our lives flow more peacefully and with more ease when we align ourselves with that plan and surrender to it.

The Tao says (in so many words) that whatever is happening RIGHT NOW is the plan. Zen teachings say something similar. The present moment just is, and it is a part of the constant unfolding of the Universes’ becoming. We are part of that becoming.

To put it in theistic terms, God/Goddess/Source is experiencing itself in every possible way through every expression of creation – from the smallest atom to entire universes. We are God expressing God’s Self in the unique creation we were made to be. Cells being cells, trees being trees, humans being humans – all are part of the unfolding/becoming of Source with a destination that is infinite and timeless, perhaps even unlimited. (we are NOT getting into the topic of entropy here!).

This brings us to the unanswerable question. Is this unfolding of Source random (chaos theory) or is there an intelligence that drives that unfolding.

I tend to lean in the direction of the latter – that there is an unknowable intelligence driving this unfolding, and that this intelligence knows exactly what it is doing in its becoming/expressing. I have also come to believe (or chosen to believe) that this intelligence is benevolent and desires the highest good for its expressions of self.

But what does highest good mean? In the psychology of Sri Aurobindo, (and similarly in the Kabbalah) each of us are here for the purpose of learning and growth. Each life we live serves the learning and growth of the Soul which in turn influences our subsequent lives. The human journey is like being cast out to sea so that we can find our own way home. We experience ourselves as separate from Source so that we might have a unique human journey, all the while trying to find our way back to Source. As if journeying down a funnel, each life brings us closer and closer to complete reunion with Source.

We are not, however, cast out to sea without guidance or equipment. Instead, there is a plan for the journey along with a plan for our return. Accounting for freewill, the plan is loose. We can go along with the plan, or we can stray from it. We can surrender to the plan, or we can resist. Surrendering to the plan may include loss, sorrow, betrayal, and pain; but in finding acceptance we experience comfort. Resistance causes suffering. The human journey is not meant to be easy as growth requires struggle. We can, however, choose to make the journey a bit easier on ourselves by trusting in and surrendering to the plan.

BUT WHAT IS THE DAMN PLAN? This is the burning question to which we will never likely receive an answer. Instead, we are left only with what ancient wisdom seems to agree upon:

This is where I find myself today. (let’s ground this thing…shall we!?).  For the past thirty-one years, I thought I understood the plan. I received a calling that I followed. I pursued education and training in that field. I’ve been doing the work in any and all ways I could figure out. I’ve made changes where needed. I’ve adapted to different audiences. I’ve networked myself to death. Now it seems I’ve reached the end of the trail with nothing in front of me except for the VOID. Every effort comes up flat and lifeless and I’m all out of ideas. I could continue to beat this (seemingly) dead horse, or I can just sit my ass down at the end of the trail until something shows itself. I know, from previous experience that attempting anything else will only leave me beaten and bloody. So instead:

I anchor myself in this present moment and trust that the Universe is taking me somewhere, it’s just not yet ready to show me. Or maybe, I just go to sleep knowing the Universe is carrying me to wherever I’m next meant to be.

And just to prove my point: this was my first week off since January. I had great plans on what to do with this time – including searching job postings to help fill some financial needs. Instead, the Universe intervened. Instead of allowing me to get in my own way by not trusting the plan and surrendering to Tao, the Universe gave me a case of the feverish creeping crud. I could do nothing that I had planned for the week except writhe in misery while trying to find something entertaining to watch on TV. Ugh.

Another thing I’ve learned, when we turn away from surrender and attempt to control the plan, we get our ass handed to us. May as well let go and surrender even (especially) when we have no idea of the plan.  It’s just easier that way!  

Finally: a little inspiration from my favorite band, The Osmonds, from their album THE PLAN!


I’m not sure if this, or any of my other trainings will be part of “the plan.” My Magdalene training is available now as are any of my other Magdalene-themed courses. Click on the button below to learn more:

Magdalene Training Open For Enrollment

As the current group of students in the Magdalene Training Program are approaching the end of their training, and preparing to celebrate their final ordination, I am opening the Magdalene Training Program for the next group of interested students.

The Magdalene Training Program provides resources, knowledge, and tools to support you in your journey of self-discovery and empowered self-actualization.

Through this eighteen-month training program, you will:

  • Become rooted in scholarly and intuitive knowledge of the Magdalene, her role in the ministry of Jesus, and her leadership in the ongoing mission of Love.
  • Discern your own unique giftedness and how you are called to use these gifts for the sake of your own fulfillment and in service to the world.
  • Learn practical skills for uncovering and healing all that separates you from Love and from living as your most authentic self.
  • Rediscover ancient knowledge and practices for self-healing.
  • Cultivate and deepen your contemplative life while growing in contentment and compassion.

Created and facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby

64 weeks of content

7 individual courses

6 private mentoring sessions

With its focus on developmental psychology, mindfulness practices, and the historical Magdalene, this training is unlike any other out there. This program maintains the integrity of the psychological and healing training that Mary, called Magdalene undertook through the guidance of her teacher, Jesus of Nazareth, by keeping the story of the Magdalene in its proper place within the Judeo-Christian narrative. Consistent with the Way of Love as Jesus taught it, the Magdalene Training program transcends dogma and doctrine, thereby restoring the essence of Jesus’ authentic teachings as they were lived out uniquely through the Magdalene and those who eventually became her students.

Resources used in this training include:

  • Canonical and non-canonical scripture (including The Gospel of Mary Magdalene).
  • The Universal Spiritual Gifts Inventory
  • The Enneagram Temperament Profile
  • The Aramaic Lord’s Prayer
  • The Chakra System
  • The Authentic Freedom™ Protocol
  • The Ignatian Spiritual Exercises
  • Ignatius’ Rules of Discernment
  • Meditation and Mindfulness
  • Creativity Practices
  • Guided and self-created ritual

Created and facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby

64 weeks of content (done in your own time at your own pace)

7 individual online courses

6 private mentoring sessions (via ZOOM)

To learn more and begin your enrollment, please click HERE.


Please enjoy the FREE Magdalene Training preview course by clicking on the image to the left.