Truth Stands on Its Own

Truth always finds its way to the light where it can be readily seen by those who have the eyes to see, bringing justice to situations where untruths otherwise prevailed.

In one case I was aware of these truths.  Although the revelations of these truths would have provided me with much vindication, I had kept silent about these truths for the sake of others who might be hurt by them.  These truths had been the cause of much pain in my own life, truths that the human part of me wanted to shout to the world as a way of “getting back” at those who had hurt me.  Instead, I chose silence, knowing and trusting that these truths would eventually find their way to the light for those who needed to know in a time that was perfect for them. 

And this is exactly what happened.  The truth came to light bringing healing and closure where neither were previously thought possible.  In addition, the way in which these truths came to light brought empowerment for those, who through their own observations had intuited these truths.  The revelation of these truths brought great validation for me in having taken the “high road” in choosing silence and trust over revenge.

It also serves as a great reminder that no matter how hard one works at disguising, denying or avoiding their truth, truth cannot be hidden for long and the deceiver will always give themselves away, if not directly then by slips of the tongue or getting caught in an outright lie.

This is the advice I offer to students and clients who are faced with similar situations of untruths – where harm has been done to them, and they want to take revenge on the “other” by telling everyone the truth.  I say, “Wait.  The truth will win out in the end.  Those that need to know will find out if and when they need to.” 

Choosing silence, trust, and a patient heart allows us to turn away from the human desire for revenge and toward forgiveness practices – those practices that free us from the resentment, hurt, sense of betrayal, anger and hatred that we might otherwise harbor against the other.  Here we are able to free ourselves of the pain of the hurt while not causing harm to another.  Choosing this path gives us freedom.

As I also advise my students and clients, “Karma is a bitch.”  While I do not believe in a punitive God, I do believe in (and the human part of me takes great comfort in) the law of cause and effect.  What you put out to the world will come back to you 100-fold.  If you (intentionally) cause harm to another, that harm will come back to you.  If you betray another, you will be betrayed.  If you are a liar, you will be deceived.  If you cheat, you will be cheated, etc. etc. etc.  There is comfort in knowing that we reap what we have sown and for those who sow deceit this is what they shall reap.  Truth, on the other hand, always wins.  Choose truth.  

Work with Lauri

Lauri Ann Lumby, MATP, has over twenty-five years of experience as a soul-tender, educator and guide. She has supported hundreds through her one-on-one guidance, books, workshops, retreats, over thirty online courses, and online community.

Learn more about Lauri’s education and qualifications HERE.

Chronic Illness and Modern Monasticism

There is an interesting correlation between the modern monastic calling and chronic illness.  When I look at the community of women (and a few men) who have found their way to my offerings, it is uncanny how many of them are struggling with some sort of chronic, often debilitating, condition. It is also curious how many of these chronic conditions defy modern medicine – either eluding diagnosis or resisting treatment.  

Case in point. I have a long list of chronic conditions:  polycystic kidney disease, Epstein Barr, a form of PTSD, chronic vestibular neuritis, migraines, anxiety, depression, and panic disorder. This smorgasbord of intermittent symptoms has forced me to prioritize self-care and has removed me from “regular” employment. The capitalistic model of drive, strive, and achieve are no longer options for me. Neither is the 80 (or even 40) hour work week.

Privileging self-care confronts the western cultural paradigm, especially when the reason for self-care falls into the stigmatized category of chronic illness.

Our conditioned way of being (work hard and make money) no longer works for many who struggle with chronic illness (if it ever really did) and forces us to explore other ways of being..

The capitalistic model of drive, strive, achieve, and cajole, where success is measured by money, status, and power, simply does not work for those called to the contemplative life.  Furthermore, our world has become too loud, too bright, too violent, too divisive, too……everything…..for the sensitive, empathetic, and compassionate nature for those called to modern monastic living.

In this age, the monastic calling doesn’t present itself directly. Instead, it becomes apparent because all other options have failed.

There is nothing in our upbringing that prepares us for the possibility of a contemplative calling. Instead, we are forced to flail about in the darkness until we find what our souls have been seeking all along. Chronic illness is one of those conditions that helps us find our way. I have often wondered if the chronic conditions that many of us face are simply for the purpose of leading and supporting us in choosing the contemplative life and that this calling has become necessary in a world that has simply become too violent. It cannot be an accident that many of us who are called to a more monastic way of being are empaths, highly sensitive people, intuitives, and introverts. Perhaps we are here to show the world another way.

When the world has become out of harmony with itself, Love sends gentle and contemplative souls to bring the world back into alignment.

Perhaps we are those souls – sent to find a way to live in greater alignment with the truth of our Souls, while showing the world there is another way.

Excerpt from the Whispers from the Cave interactive web series. Learn more HERE.

Questions for Reflection:

  • How has the “modern” world contributed to or caused your chronic illness?
  • How has self-care become more of a priority in your life?
  • How has chronic illness supported you in finding a gentler, more easeful way of living in the world?
  • What inner resources have awakened in you through your experience with chronic illness?

Whispers from the Cave features limited edition, exclusive content examining the daily life and reflections of a modern monk living in a “cave” surrounded by ghosts.

 • 4+ episodes per month (written and recorded)

• Exclusive content (not available anywhere else)

• Interactive discussion (bring your burning questions)

• Educational and Informative

• Inspiring and Supportive

• Special pricing for the first 100 subscribers

Trusting First Thoughts

You know your truth and you know your path. You immediately know if you can trust a person or if caution must be exercised. You know if you are in danger.  You know if you are safe. You know when something is right for you and when it is not. At the deepest and most immediate levels you know this, but if you are like most human beings, this knowing has been conditioned or punished out of you.  Most often, this knowing has been sequestered into box called “can’t” “should” or “shan’t.”

You can’t possibly know that!

You shan’t be so judgmental.

You should give people and situations the benefit of the doubt.

You should give it a chance.

But why?  If you know, you know!  Remember that tiny hair on the back of your neck that stood up when you met that person who later of turned out to be a complete jerk?  How about that clenched feeling in your belly when you were left alone in the room with Uncle ____.  Or that tickle in your ear that said, “don’t take this road” but you took it anyway and rolled your car? How about that snap moment of panic just before you got rear-ended? Or the outside force that picked up your leg and moved it to slam on the brakes saving you from getting t-boned by the big green van running the red light?

Or more subtly: the sneaking feeling that a co-worker had it out for you? The lightning bolt that went up your arm when you shook the hand of a new acquaintance and you immediately knew they were a liar and a manipulator?  The feeling that something felt too good to be true – and it turned out to be!

You know!  You know your truth.  You know what’s right for you.  You know when you are to remain on your current path and when you are being called to change it.  You know what is life-giving for you.  You know what is soul-sucking. You know when you want to share your energy and time; how and with whom. You know when you simply want to be alone. You know who your allies are.  You know your enemies.

This knowledge is communicated in your very first thoughts. Trust them!

Lauri Ann Lumby supports you in trusting your first thoughts!

Lauri has over twenty-five years of experience as an educator, facilitator, soul-tender, and guide. She has supported hundreds through her one-on-one guidance, books, workshops, retreats, over thirty online courses, and online community.

Lamenting a Cruel World

A dearly beloved friend recently observed of me:

“You are a formidable and vulnerable teacher.”

I could not disagree with him and I am deeply grateful for his ability to see and articulate my truth. There is something uniquely profound about truly being seen.

Whereas I may present to many/most as a strong, independent, formidable force, my truest self is deeply vulnerable and fragile. I, like most who are truly honest with themselves, have been wounded by this world. It may appear to many, in fact many have said this of me, “You got this.” As a responsible firstborn Capricorn with a conditioned defense mechanism of independence and dogged self-sufficiency, this may be a safe assumption. Except, on many days, I DO NOT GOT THIS, neither do I want to.

At nearly 58 years old, I’m tired of having to gather up my strength, and don my cloak of resilience in order to survive this world and to find my way through the broken glass and twisted brambles of humanity’s folly.

I wasn’t made for this level of violence. Neither was I made to withstand this much light or noise.

None of us were made for this. Yet few are willing to admit it.  Instead, we make excuses (or are conditioned to) for all of humanity’s bad behaviors.

There are no excuses for humanity’s cruelty, deception, lack of integrity, greed, abusive behavior, or betrayal. As a student and teacher of human development, I can assuredly say that every single human being (excepting perhaps sociopaths and psychopaths – but even they can pretend) has both the potential and the power to be loving, compassionate, generous, gentle, and kind. In other words, cruelty is a choice. Admittedly, a choice coming forth out of what are likely deeply unhealed wounds, but a choice, nonetheless. When I know (and provide) resources to support humanity in healing their wounds, this choice becomes even more apparent.

So yes, when I see humans being cruel to each other, taking advantage of others for the sake of their own pride or greed, making excuses for or justifying their bad behaviors, stabbing others in the back, robbing or stealing from each other, I am deeply saddened. I also find myself angered because I know that cruelty is a choice and cannot comprehend why anyone would choose it.

Like I have often said, I wasn’t made for this world. The good news is I know I’m not the only one not made for this world. If you are one who regularly chooses kindness, I hope that in sharing my own vulnerability this gives you permission to do the same, and if nothing else, helps you to know you are not alone.

Copyright Lauri Ann Lumby

Illness Designating Power

Our whole lives we’ve been told that illness means there’s something wrong with us.  What if the reverse, in fact, is true?  What if illness is a gift that designates our power? Can we take what we’ve been told and have chosen to believe and turn it on its head? What if what we’ve been calling illness (chronic illness especially) is really the body’s only way, in an upside-down world, to create the environment the Soul needs to thrive?  What if chronic illness is the body responding to abuse of the Soul?  What if when suffering chronic illness (ie: fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, Epstein-Barr, migraine, vestibular disorders, anxiety, depression, panic attacks) there’s nothing wrong with us but is our body pointing out everything that is wrong with our world? What can we learn about our Soul and our body’s true needs through the symptoms our chronic illness throws at us? What happens if instead of fighting against illness we give our bodies what they need to feel safe in an unsafe world? How might our world begin to change when we start tending to the deeper needs of our Souls? How might our super-powers begin to emerge when we start tending to the needs of our Soul as dictated by our body?

Waking the Dead

I sang skin back onto my bones like a blanket’s warm embrace.

Enfolding in acceptance all that I am.

A dream within a dream of much more than simple acceptance.

A celebration really,

where a blanket becomes a robe of the deepest blood red.


Invoking a blessing of holiness

where that which I formerly condemned is honored as gift.

Where pathology is given a new name signifying magic.

And where illness designates power.

Then I sang a song of amens and hallelujahs!

Copyright Lauri Ann Lumby


When we are struggling with chronic illness or other debilitating and troublesome symptoms, we are cast into a grieving process. We experience all faces of grief – denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and sorrow as we move in the direction of coming to terms with our symptoms.

For twenty-five years, Lauri Ann Lumby has supported people in all forms of grieving. If you are in need of support in grieving your diagnosis (of often lack thereof), please reach out for an appointment.

When “the Devil” Comes a-Callin’

Ahhhhhhhh.  The Trickster.  Satan.  Beelzebub.  Beetlejuice.  By whatever name we call “him,” the role is the same:

That thing that shows up just as something amazing has happened, or as something magnificent is about to happen.  That experience that attempts to throw a banana peel into our path.  The person who throws spikes across the road of our enjoyment just after we get done fruitfully sharing our gifts in the world.

Yeah….you know of whom/what I speak.  We’ve all had these experiences. I’ve gotten to the point now where I know the Trickster when I see it and I name it for who it is. This does not, however, prevent me from feeling the jarring impact of what can only be called a psychic attack. 

Here’s how it went:

Thursday and Saturday of the past week, I had the profound gift of presenting to two different organizations.  Thursday’s presentation was on Mary Magdalene for the Healer’s Playgroup.  Saturday I presented on Mental Health and Resilience in Teens for the Wisconsin Dance Council annual convention.  Both presentations were enthusiastically received and I felt completely in my element and anchored in my gifts and my calling. Everything felt right with the world as I gave my introvert/empath a well-deserved day (or two) of rest.

Then “the devil” came a callin’.  I will say this is not the first time I’ve had to deal with severely disturbed individuals who are operating out of some sort of delusion that I am the cause of their current life situation. In this case, a person I don’t even know, but who apparently knows me through a shared membership on another platform. I won’t go into the details but to say their language was abusive, graphic, and venomous would be an understatement. Understanding the disease that provokes such outbursts did nothing to protect me from the daggers of hatred carried by these words. My rational mind knew how to respond. My empathic body felt the sting of her words. My inner healer knew what to do to support myself in being free of the venom and how to let my psychic body heal.

And, my inner spiritual teacher knew exactly what this was:

“Hello Trickster, the fact that you are here is telling me something magnificent is happening.”

Indeed.  THIS is the role of the Trickster. To startle us out of our enjoyment, trip us up on our path, plant the seeds of confusion and doubt in our mind – all for the purpose of testing our resolve.

The Trickster is here to ask us: “Are you sure about this?”

Um.  Yes, I’m sure.  I’m certain about my gifts. I’m certain of my call to serve. I’m certain I’m called to serve the world through my gifts of teaching, providing guidance and counsel, and being a force of Love in the world.  All the tricksters in the world are not going to convince me otherwise. As I reached out to a colleague who had a similar encounter with this individual, her words said it perfectly: 

Not today Satan!  Not today!

  • Where and how have you experienced the Trickster in your life?
  • What tools do you have for moving through and past the Trickster’s shenanigans?

Only $28.00 for this 2 hour workshop

Join Lauri Ann Lumby as she breaks open the ancient mysteries related to the adversary – the natural inner force that has been corrupted into an external demon that should be feared. Even the ancient names given to this helpful and benevolent force have been appropriated by those who seek to manipulate others through fear, intimidation, and threats of eternal damnation.

  • Discover the ancient names given to the adversary and their true meanings.
  • Understand the natural cycle of spiritual growth including necessary times of resistance characterized by temptation, doubt, confusion, and difficulty.
  • Learn to approach the adversary as advocate.
  • Release resistance through practices of welcome.

Videos for This Week

Strange Symptoms, Empathy and the Call of the Mystic

The call of the mystic is often accompanied by the gift of empathy – the ability to feel what other people are feeling, and to feel things that are happening in the world. This gift of empathy is often identified by strange, otherwise unexplainable physical and emotional symptoms: physical pain, vertigo, ringing in the ears, dizziness, nausea, migraines, visual disturbances, unexplained sorrow, anxiety, grief, fear, etc. While it’s important to consult a medical doctor in the event these symptoms have a medical and treatable cause. If not, it might just be that you’re an empath.

Soul Lessons – Tonglen

In this video, you will learn about and be guided in a Tonglen practice. Tonglen is a powerful and effective practice for transforming our inner wounds, compulsions, past trauma, and societal conditioning. It’s a great remedy for guilt, shame, loneliness, anxiety, and so much more.

The Way of Love – The “G” Word

This week’s Way of Love Video Podcast explores the “G-word.” Humanity’s evolution as it relates to our concepts of that from whence we came. Is it the old man in the sky? A many-armed God? Or will our human conceptualizations of the Source always fall short of what “G” really is?

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The Call of the Bean Sidhe

In a far-off land

‘neath a hill of grass and stone

lives the Bean Sidhe.

Cloaked in rags

Dreaded silver locks

Tattoos of woad telling stories of her life

Her face a skull

One clear eye seeing without

The cloudy one seeing within

Her skeletal finger pointing out the eternal

Her life will never end

With her knowing eyes she’s seen it all

Nothing you could say would surprise

Nothing you do could shock

She sees only Truth

A mirror for those who dare –

who can endure her eternal screaming.

A witness to all of humanity’s sorrow

and a voice for all who weep for humanity’s doom –

They’ve no one to blame but themselves.

I am She and She is me.

art and poetry copyright Lauri Ann Lumby

What Are Your Soul Gifts?

Online course

13 lessons done at your own pace

Created and Facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby

Protecting Our Magic

Do you ever get the feeling you weren’t really made for this world?  That this world simply feels too loud, violent, harsh, bright, etc. etc. etc.?  Me too!  Do you suffer with symptoms that might indicate that this world is indeed too harsh for you?  Symptoms like anxiety, panic attacks, vertigo, unexplained pain, fatigue, depression, sun or light sensitivity, tinnitus, migraines, or any other number of “unexplained illnesses with seemingly no cause and definitely no cure?” Me too.  Do you find it (increasingly) difficult to be around people and have an aversion to crowds?  Me too!  Have you been told there might be something wrong with you?  That you need to seek medical or psychological help to overcome your symptoms?  Have you been told to just get over it? Do people look at you like you’re nuts when you try to explain these symptoms and how they make you feel?  Have you been tempted to believe these voices because it’s what our society tells us as well?  Yep.  Me too!

What if there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU and the “symptoms” you are experiencing are your body’s way of telling you the world is wrong and that it has the potential to cause harm to something precious and sacred inside of you?

What if your “symptoms” are not a disease,

but instead are signs of your magic?

On day five of a full body migraine, with no evidence of a cause and no sign of a cure, this is what I am considering.  What if all the symptoms I’ve been trying to manage or make go away (migraines, physical pain, intermittent vertigo) are signs of my magic – magic trying to be made known while also seeking my protection.

The truth is, I’ve been so busy drinking the patriarchal Kool-aid (work= success, hard work = more money, doing has value, being is laziness), that I have missed the opportunity to see these experiences in another light. To see these signs in another light, we must ask ourselves what magic needs?  This may differ from person to person, but for me,

My magic needs:

  • Solitude.
  • Quiet.
  • Gentle movement.
  • Stillness.
  • A safe place to live and work.
  • Deep listening.
  • Deep seeing.
  • The freedom to do things in my own way and in my own time.
  • People with whom to share my magic.
  • Vehicles through which I can share my magic.
  • A simple lifestyle.
  • Honesty.
  • Integrity.
  • Authenticity.
  • Sacred practice.
  • Meaningful and purpose-filled work.
  • Loving friendships.
  • Sacred community.

Recently my magic has also reminded me to bloom where I’m planted and has done so forcibly by making it impossible for me to stray far from home (without my protective charioteers).

(The travel thing is the hardest thing for me right now!  I want the freedom to go where I want to go when I want to go there – but apparently my magic has other ideas.)

This is what I’m talking about!  What if the things we’ve been calling disabilities, disorders, disease, impairments, illness, etc. etc. etc. are none of these, but are instead, our magic

  1. wanting to be known and
  2. letting us know what keeps our magic safe and what puts it at risk.

Remember: they once burned witches!

While this is (currently) illegal in this country, believe me, our culture finds other ways to punish and do harm to women who demonstrate certain kinds of power. While they might not be able to burn us, their actions might make us feel as if they are!

Bearing this in mind, it might be helpful to take another look at our magic and the threats to its safety.

  • Where have your gifts been questioned/challenged?
  • Where have you been punished/demonized/pathologized for your gifts (sensitivities, intuitive sensations, inner knowings, visions, prophecies, etc.)?
  • Where have you been told you’re crazy for knowing/sensing certain things?
  • When have you walked into a room and had the immediate sensation you should run?
  • Where have people clung to you and drawn energy and power from you, making you feel drained?
  • What environments or people feel draining?
  • What feels like pressure to you (expectations, the wagging finger of “should”)?
  • When have you been told you’re being judgmental when you share your bad feelings about a person you hardly know?
  • When have you been called a bitch for setting boundaries?
  • Where have others tried to damage your reputation or harbored jealousy over you?

All of the above are examples of how our magic is being threatened, along with an invitation to be more mindful of what our magic needs to feel safe and sacred. There is no one who can care for our magic but ourselves.  There is no one who can create the space and environment in which our magic can survive and thrive but ourselves.  Isn’t it time we do for ourselves what we so readily do for others?

Your magic is a sacred gift. Give yourself permission to treat it that way – no matter what society tells you otherwise!

What is Your Magic?

Each and every one of us has our own unique magic. Soul Gifts provides an opportunity to explore the depths of what your gifts might be so that you can claim them, while freeing yourself from the burden of trying to carry gifts that are not yours.

Feeling Numb? You’re Not Alone!

Numb. Slow. Unmotivated. Paralyzed. Uninspired. Despairing. Blank. Grey. Depressed. Sad.  These are the words people have been using to describe how they are currently feeling. It seems we are experiencing a collective numbness, the likes of which no one (in my generation at least) has ever experienced.

We are suffering from what I’m going to call PPTSD:  Post Pandemic Traumatic Stress Disorder.  We might also call it:  Post Political Traumatic Stress Disorder because it seems that literally everything has become a political issue over which people are  choosing to argue, fight, and divide.

For the past three years (I might argue since 2016), we have been bombarded with one violent event after another: contentious elections, school shootings, insurrections, a pandemic that some decided to make political, the rising cost of housing, inflation, “supply chain issues,” “food shortages,” global warming/climate change, the whole world on fire, war in Ukraine, the threat of violence from China, etc. etc. etc. The bombardment has been CONSTANT.  Every minute of every day we are getting pummeled by one threat after another. It’s exhausting.

No human was meant to experience this kind of constant external assault.  We were not wired for this. If you happen to be sensitive, an empath and/or healer, the effect has been even more profound. And there is no sign of things lightening up. Until the current system is done with its dying (for what we are really witnessing is the death of an empire and any system built on a similar foundation of fear, power, oppression, and control), the writhing and screaming will continue.

We have a right to feel numb, unmotivated, paralyzed, uninspired, etc.  We were not made for this kind of constant, collective trauma – especially one of this nature over which it seems we have no control. 

The old world is dying and dying it must. We cannot save it.  Neither should we try. That does not mean, however, that there isn’t SOMETHING WE CAN DO! As the current world, rooted in fear, power, oppression, and control is dying, a new world IS being born to take its place:

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

Isaiah 43: 19a

A new world is being born among us, and we are the ones who have been quietly and stealthily building it. It is being born out of our unwillingness to submit to the status quo. It is being born out of our inherent sense of value and refusing to work in conditions or for pay that doesn’t reflect that value. It’s being born out of our love for the planet and our decisions to treat her more lovingly through our buying and growing decisions. It’s being born out of our care and concern for our children, and out of our hope for their future. It’s being born out of the generation of young people paving a new path to self-sufficiency through the creation of innovative business ventures. It’s being born out of those who have untied themselves from societal/religious/institutional conditioning, discovering their own truth, and living from that truth freely.

While we cannot escape the trauma of the dying world in its death throes, perhaps we can find hope in the new world that is being born, and inspiration for how we might begin or deepen our participation in its creation.  

Mastering the Flame

Wondering how you might be uniquely gifted to help bring forth the new world? Wondering how to identify and move through the blocks to living the life of your dreams? Check out the Mastering the Flame in-depth training program. 34 weeks of online lessons with ongoing support, and three one-on-one mentoring sessions with Lauri.