Being an Empath

Being Who You Are

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

As we move through this powerfully transformative time, under this new moon with seven celestial bodies stacked up in Aries, we are invited to examine our SELF – WHO we truly are. This is not about titles (ie: witch, priestess, mother, healer, poet, writer, counselor) it is about our truest nature – who we are at our core, something that has been part of us our entire lives, something we cannot help but be. This is not about what we do, but who we are BEING because our true nature is not a noun, it is a verb. As you reflect on this, for yourself, I share with you how I arrived at the answer for myself:

For my entire life I have been able to see. Specifically, I am able to see the truth beyond appearances – the truth beyond the veil – the truth behind the masks people present to the world. I’ve been able to see the severe mental illness that drove the abusive actions of two grade school teachers. I saw the lie behind “terminal diagnosis” of a family “friend.” I’ve seen the truth behind lies that have been told to my face. Less dramatic than this, I see the unhealed wounds, insecurities, and pain behind the façade many present to the world.

For me, it’s easy to see the sorrow, anger, pain, deception, betrayal, etc. behind which all humans hide, but equally so, I see the potential waiting to be liberated from behind these unhealed wounds. For those who have the willingness and courage, I have been a resource for healing and moving beyond these wounds. For those with nothing to hide, being seen provides a gift of affirmation along with an expression of love.

I am grateful for this gift of seeing, but the reality is not everyone wants to be seen. Even fewer want to do the work of healing those areas of imprisonment within them. As such, this ability to see has often felt like more of a curse than a gift. Teachers who made me their enemy through no fault of my own. Classmates who hated me for no apparent reason. Strangers and acquaintances who shy away from my presence because there is something in them that becomes unconsciously aware of being seen – and they do not want to be seen.

People’s inner demons run from me. At times, I can hear them hissing. At other times, their demons come at me filled with projections, accusations, excuses, insults, etc. Recently, I challenged a long-time acquaintance for their prejudice against the working poor (saying if they just applied belief and effort they wouldn’t be poor). They came back at me with aggression and insults. Their demon of unconscious shame, hiding behind white male privilegem was not happy about being seen.

I can’t help that I see. It’s part of who I am. I see the good, and the bad. The holy and the unholy. Most often, I’m not really doing anything with this seeing, I just see. And some become extremely uncomfortable in my presence because they don’t want to be seen. For most of my life, I have taken the other person’s negative reactions personally. It’s my fault they feel uncomfortable. Now I’m a target for their wrath or a projection for their shame. I’ve been rejected, avoided, ignored, condemned, harassed, abused, and punished for simply seeing.

But this week, under this crazy Aries New Moon pile-up, with seven celestial bodies in Aries, a hugely transformational awareness has surfaced.  At the heart of this awareness is the invitation to completely and fully own WHO I AM  – specifically that for which I have been rejected and condemned, which has then caused me to shy away from or hide my gift.

This week, I was provided with a visceral experience that demonstrated to me the impact my seeing has on someone who does not want to be seen, along with the unconscious reaction that arose in them upon being seen. I literally felt the individual attempt to put up an energetic wall between us, and I could hear/feel their (we’ll call it) shame hissing at me. At the same time, I became aware of my own unconscious (at the time) reaction to their “rejection.” I felt my energy turn in on itself, packing itself away in a quiet place to hide. I felt myself attempting to become invisible.

I used this startling experience for deep reflection. What was happening? Why did I react that way? Why did THEY react that way. I don’t yet have the full answer to my quandary about how to use this awareness for my own healing and growth but in this moment it feels a little like this:

I AM Seeing. For those wanting to be truly seen, it is a gift. For those who do not, their conscious or (more commonly) unconscious reaction is not a rejection of me, it is a rejection of themselves. And that demon who is hissing at me as it defends its host, has zero power over me because when I SEE the demon, it no longer has power over me.

What is the BEING you are invited to more fully embrace and no longer hide from the world (or yourself)?

Not Sure Who You Are?

Learn more HERE

The Order of the Magdalene Training provides the resources and tools to answer and live the answers to the following questions:

Who am I?

Whose am I?

What are my gifts and how am I being invited to share those gifts for the sake of my own fulfillment and in service to the betterment of the world.

Preparing for Splashdown

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

As I write this, I am coming off a morning of relentless “spiritual 911” calls. Those who have my private number, checking in with the same set of “symptoms,” and wondering if the cause of the symptoms is their own, or relating to the world. And wondering, what, if anything, they can do about it.

The short answer: it is most definitely the world.

The longer answer: a certain someone can step on their own d*ck only so many times before toppling over onto their own house of cards. This Sunday’s actions herald the beginning or perhaps the end) of the end. Whether by Congress, or the Supreme Court, or by some other yet to be revealed source, the pressure cooker in which we’ve been living is coming to an end.

The anxiety that so many are currently feeling is at once, the natural trepidation over what all will be destroyed as the end draws near, and the very real knowledge of the conflicting cavalcade of emotions roiling about in preparation for what is soon to be.

The what will be is two-fold: a complete and total meltdown of a system that has imprisoned humanity for thousands of years and the simultaneous splashdown of a whole new world and way of living together as human beings.

That is…..if “he” doesn’t destroy us all first.

The if, what, and how of the meltdown/splashdown is not ours to know. It is not something for which we can plan. The only thing we can do is be with what is as it is unfolding. As we are being with the unfolding, we are invited to be sources of healing and support for ourselves and others. The “what is” and “what will be” is not personal. It is simply the throes of a system  facing its own death. As sensitive human beings, however, we will be feeling it:  anxiety, pressure, headaches, body pain, restlessness, impatient, sorrowful, angry, even depressed. That which arises in us is a bit of our own fear, but more likely it is the feelings of the collective. Whether it is ours or belongs to someone else, we are not powerless.  Instead, this is our invitation to become empowered.

Here are some practices I have found to be helpful as the world is working out its own shit:

  1. Witness: I have learned that these energies are ours to fix or heal. Instead, they simply want to be seen and acknowledged. When feeling the rise of anxiety or pressure, close your eyes, envision the fear, anxiety, grief, etc. in your minds eye…..and just look at it. No judgement – just witnessing and acknowledging. As we bear it witness, it eventually dissipates and we are restored to peace.
  2. Nothing is Personal: These discordant energies, for the most part, are not our own. These are the manifestation of collective consciousness (what some might call demons)  – the energies that have arisen out of 5000 years of human enslavement which are losing their power over us. These energies have become “living things” intent on their own survival – they don’t give up easily. And yet, Love is winning, and these energies are losing their power. As they are preparing for their departure, they are making themselves known. Think of these “demons” you are feeling as asking you to see them as they say goodbye. (Don’t let the screen door hit you on the ass as you leave little demons!  Bye!)
  3. It’s just a movie: I don’t mean this to be dismissive of the very real feelings we are having as the world around us implodes. But when we allow ourselves to cultivate detachment, we are able to distance ourselves a bit from the intensity. I find it helpful to think of it like watching a movie. I mean, seriously, art has been showing us all along where we are going and life itself has become more ridiculous than art. I did not have a war between POTUS and Pope on my 2026 bingo card! It’s actually kind of hilarious. I just wonder, is it a Divine Comedy or a Comedy of Errors. Maybe both! 
  4. You are not alone: Check in with your team/tribe/support system. If you are feeling off, overwhelmed, terrified as the system burns itself to the ground, seek support. It may be as simply as texting a close friend, “Hey, are you feeling this too or am I losing my mind?”  Most likely, it’s the former. And if your trusted friend circle isn’t enough, reach out to a professional you trust.
  5. Prepare for Splashdown: As the old world continues its dying, the new world is coming into form. At this point, we have no idea what this new world will look like, or what our roles will be in that world. We can, however, be attentive in our own lives to what is asking to leave so that room can be made for the new. We are also invited to pay attention, specifically to what feeds us and gives us joy – and be more of that. Every decision we make, not out of fear, but out of love, joy, and compassion, becomes a seed from which the new will take root and come into being.
  6. More than anything – BE LOVE. Be love to yourself. Be love to your loved ones. And most difficult of all – be LOVE to your (perceived) enemies. We may find ourselves surprised at who people become on the other side of this collapse and the love that they might need. Even the AntiChrist longs to know Love.

Immobilized

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Exploring Healer Fatigue and Empath Paralysis

Since February 28, 2026, when the US and Israel launched their war against Iran, I have found myself immobile – unable to accomplish anything other than what is absolutely essential. Somedays, even the essentials are left on the sidelines. It’s not that I’m fixated on the war, perseverating over what is happening along with the possible outcomes, or even actively worried.

Being made immobile is just another symptom of being an empath and a healer.

I can’t help it. Even when I tell myself, “I’m accomplishing this today,” I find I cannot. I can’t say that I’m depressed or even anxious. Instead, I am simply aware that as humanity is trying to destroy itself, my BEING is actively working on behalf of this suicidal species.

All the oil in the world is not worth the wholesale destruction of a nation – especially as the US and Israel are actively destroying the very oil they say they are after. I call foul! We know this war isn’t about oil. Neither is it about Iran’s “oppressive” regime. The ones truly in need of regime change are those who shot the first shot. I digress…

My point is that if you are an empath, a healer, a lightworker, you may also be finding yourself immobilized – Unable to do – only allowed to BE.

As much as I want to deny or ignore the “whoo whoo” that would even suggest such a thing could be possible, I am increasingly finding it is the only thing that truly makes sense. As a practical, hard-working, first-born Capricorn, I have taken great pride in my ability to be productive – to get things done, and to be somewhat in control of my fate. All these points of pride have flown out the window the closer we come to human extinction.

Instead:

I have had to become excruciatingly comfortable with doing nothing, while believing in the invisible magic of simply being. With zero tangible evidence, I have had to rely on the faith that all this doing of nothing is amounting to something. I have had to force myself to trust that while it may appear as if I’m unproductive, I am being used for some higher purpose. Without knowing what I’m doing, how it’s being done, or what the impact may or may not be, I have had to believe that all will be well – especially when every material example says otherwise. Because no matter the amount of effort or thought I put into DOING – every effort has failed.

These are the days I wish someone would wave a magic wand and I would simply and confidently believe that as I am immobilized, a higher purpose is being fulfilled. My intention has always been to be a vessel through which Love can be made real in our world, and my prayer has been, “I am the servant of the Lord Love. Let it be done to me according to your word.” Perhaps this is my prayer being answered.

Remembering Who We Are

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

It seems I have forgotten who I am, and in the forgetting, I have become ill.

Beyond my work as an author, writer, spiritual director, and educator, I have another job. For forty-nine weeks of the year, the job is fine – good even. Three weeks of the year, not so much – not because of the job itself, but because of the price to my nervous system. Being a highly sensitive empathic introvert who struggles with the symptoms of C-PTSD, Epstein Barr, kidney disease, and hypothyroid, I’m vulnerable on a normal day. During these three weeks, ones that require much more from me than usual, I find I struggle. To survive these three weeks, I find I only have the bandwidth to show up where I need to be, when I need to be there, and complete the tasks required. After the work is complete all I have left is to go home and “rot” (ie: disassociate, recover).

During those three weeks, I find it impossible to be my normal self. Instead, I find myself being short-tempered, impatient, grumpy, and extra sensitive. Whereas I have done a pretty good job of cultivating detachment and a sense of peaceful ease during normal weeks, for these three weeks – all bets are off.

I don’t like who I become when everything around me ends up being a trigger.

Following those three weeks, I spend as much time as possible doing nothing, hermiting in my cave, resting, sleeping, and trying to return to my so-called normal. A big part of this return to “normal” is trying to remember who I am when my nervous system isn’t being overstimulated by too much sound, vibration, movement, light, and other people’s energies.

Now that those three weeks are over, little by little, I’m starting to remember.

When a task takes so much of our physical, emotional, and mental effort, it is easy to forget who we are REALLY. Getting lost in to-do lists, unexpected emergencies, other people’s emotions, and all the details that go into a monumental creation, it is easy to forget that we are not those tasks. We are not the emergencies. Neither are we other people’s emotions. Even with time to regroup and recover, remembering who we really are beyond these responsibilities is difficult at best.

  • Remembering requires separation. Separation and distance from what made us forget.
  • Remembering demands quiet, stillness, and silence – asking us to enter into that place of calm where our true self resides.
  • Remembering invites a return to routine – the routine out of which our body and soul feel nourished, safe, and supported.
  • Remembering asks us to listen – to listen to the “still-small voice,” that knows our truth and what is important for our Soul’s fulfillment.
  • Remembering is accomplished through practice – practicing the distance, the quiet, the routine, and the listening that support us in calling back all the strands of ourselves we have given away and then replanting them deep into the ground where they can begin (again) to thrive.

This year’s remembering has just begun, but already I’ve been reminded of why I’m really here. Not because of the tasks. Not because of the roles, certificates, or titles. Not because of what I do or how I make a living. I’m here to BE who I am and who I am meant to be and that has a specific symbol that has meaning only to me. If I share it, perhaps you’ll get a glimpse of the calling that will spark your own journey of remembering.

For nearly fifty years, (and many lifetimes), Lauri Ann Lumby has been a student and devote’ of Mary, called Magdalene. From original source material, Lauri has discovered remembered the secret teachings of Jesus, as they were revealed to the Magdalene. Lauri has applied these teachings in her own life and from this has developed a curriculum of practical study for those interested in remembering and embodying the truth of their original nature as Love.

Learn more here.

Sorrow, Melancholy, and Disappointment

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Goodbye 2025!

This morning, a dear friend of mine shared a traditional Sicilian prayer for the new year, along with its English translation:

The old year goes away and will never return.
May it take with it all my melancholy,
may it erase sadness
and the bitterness of dark days.
New Year, come forward, come on—
everyone celebrates you.
Bring joy, health, and love
to all the friends I carry in my HEART.
May it be a blessed year for everyone,
even if it won’t be perfect.
May the good Lord guide us
in the new year that is to come… Buon Anno

Thank you, Nina, for bringing forth the words that for so many describe the weird year of 2025.  To this list, I would add: disappointment.

2025 has truly been brutal. For empaths and sensitives, I think this is especially true. It’s just too much to be made to wear and then process the collective trauma of all that has transpired in the last year. Personally, I have felt very much like the silver ball in the pinball machine getting continually batted around by the player who refuses to take his finger off the G.D. red button.

I don’t need to go into any detail here. We all know. (If we don’t know, we’re either not paying attention or are one of the very few benefitting from the relentless chaos and abuse of this past year.)

Is 2026 going to be better?  I know better than to offer predictions or promises.

It’s like the meme I keep seeing on social media:

“What if we all died in 2020 and now we’re living in hell?”

Somedays it feels like that – even for those of us who have spent the last many years cultivating detachment, bullet-proof boundaries, and witness consciousness. It seems no matter how much inner work we have done, or how many lessons we have mastered, we cannot help but find ourselves triggered by what is happening in the world around us and within those close to us. And if you’re a recovering perfectionist like me, we can’t help but be frustrated and disappointed with ourselves when we find ourselves triggered – and even more so when we find ourselves reacting to these triggers out of our unhealed wounds – wounds that we arrogantly believed we had healed for good. HAH!

Turns out, we’re never fully healed. I cannot tell you how much this fact hurts my perfectionistic soul. I guess I’m not the Messiah I one day hoped I would be. Neither, it turns out, do I have a foundation for my self-righteousness. To my utter despair, I’m just as irreparably flawed as anyone else.  

For me, this year has been especially hard on my perfectionistic nature, leaving me feeling deep sorrow, melancholy, and disappointment – yes, at the world around us, but even more so with myself. I’m sad for the times my wounds got the best of me. I’m sorry for those who ended up being the target of my reactions. I wish I was better at detaching from other people’s reactions and more compassionate toward their unhealed wounds. I wish I was more adept at withholding judgment and simply letting people be – especially when my discerning eye sees something that I think could be done in a better way.

As it relates to the world…..my heart just breaks. I will never, ever, ever, understand the cruelty of human beings. I will never comprehend the “need” for war. I will never understand how human beings can stand back as other human beings are starving, homeless, or living in poverty. I will never comprehend why certain men hoard wealth while turning a blind eye to the millions upon millions of human beings who are struggling just to survive. All of this really makes me truly sad and questioning the need for human beings. I often think the world really would be better off without us.

And maybe that’s the point. Human beings do not add a single thing to this planet. And yet, here we are – an experiment of some alien god to see how long it takes us to fail or an expression of another God (Love) hoping we will one day succeed in remembering who we are and find our way home?  At the end of the day, I guess the reason why doesn’t matter. What matters is what we do with this life we’ve been given. Do we choose a life of selfishness and hatred, or do we do our best to choose Love? No matter how many times that pinball paddle hurts me, I continue to choose Love – at least I try to.  

So, with this, I return to Nina’s prayer and offer it up as a prayer for us all. May it be fulfilled as we step cautiously and timidly into this new year.

With love,

Lauri

Ugh!

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

For the thirty-or-so of you who continue to read my articles, thank you for your patience these past few weeks. In short – this care-giver is all cared out! I know in this I’m not alone.

The past several weeks have been heavy with intensity, anxiety, and dare I say, INSANITY. When I think things just can’t get worse in our world another shoe drops.  Just when I pray, “surely this is the tipping point that will bring the whole house of cards down upon itself,” it is not. It seems instead of wholesale collapse, the empire is dying one mortar chip at a time.

And we are all exhausted from the waiting and weighting. It is heavy work to be a visionary, prophet, lightworker, healer, starborne, starseed, and carer when the only paradigm we have ever known is coming to it’s self-created violent ending. Moreso even than the system itself, we have been bearing, upholding, and supporting those who are finding themselves anxious, frantic, nervous, and worried in the face of a collapse about which they may not even be aware. We have been a source of support for others while desperately trying to be support for ourselves.

For the past several weeks, I have found myself in complete survival mode. Between a world in collapse and some new (not really) health issues that have surfaced, it’s all I can do to get out of bed in the morning – not because I’m depressed – because I am bone weary and soul tired. On my good days, I’m honored when people seek me out for support. On my bad days, I’m sick to death of other people’s shit. (Not everyone’s shit….just those unwilling to tend to their own work.)

Does this make me a bad person? No, it just means I’m tired and as usual, excruciatingly human.

Humans exhaust me. When I’m tired, unwell, impatient, frustrated, and fumbling, I exhaust myself. Again, I know I’m not alone in this. I likely exhaust others. (ha ha).  But seriously, so many who reach out to me speak of their own disgust with themselves.

When the world is turning itself inside out, we can no longer survive as the person we once thought of ourselves as being. As the masks behind which the human-made world are falling away and the evil behind it all is being revealed, our masks also must fall. The masks I have worn are those of perfectionist, good-girl, straight A student, achiever, hard worker, honest, strong, brave, courageous, fiercely independent, and generously loving. Behind these masks, I am these things, but not always. I too am vulnerable, anxious, terrified, jealous, petty, unforgiving, harsh, and the deceit I indulge is that of people pleaser.  “I’m fine,” is a bold-faced lie and while I have love of all humanity, I sometimes wish a violent death upon those I call my enemies – or at the very least – a heaping portion of karmic retribution.

As the world has been collapsing and masks have been torn away, so too have we been forced to admit the full truth of who we are. We can no longer hide behind the expectations of a capitalistic patriarchal society.  Neither can we live under the burden of the driving, striving, and blind ambition favored by our world.

We must live our truth – or die. “Just hanging on” is no longer enough. Instead, we are invited to LET IT ALL GO. Quit trying to fit in. Quit lying to ourselves. Quit trying to be strong. Quit trying to help or care for those unwilling to help themselves. Quit forcing ourselves to take action where no action is needed and where our gifts have been denied. Quit denying the reality of aging and the physical consequences of illness.  Instead, we’re invited to embrace them. (Hollywood, Instagram, etc. beauty standards are simply another part of a world that is dying. Have you seen what is happening to Hollywood actresses? So many of them now look like corpses.  Gross!) Quit pretending we are well when we are not. Quit “faking it to make it.”

And more than anything else:  DARE to love yourself enough to choose what is life-giving for you, even/especially when what is best is to sleep.

And finally, DO NOT forget that if you are one who sees and believes in the hope of a new world, this new world is being born through you. As such, your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies are hard at work growing and getting ready to birth that new world. Be gentle and loving toward yourself as you would be with a brand new babe. In this birthing, we are fragile and vulnerable. Treat yourself as such!

With love,

Lauri

Letters from Hell #2 – Rest

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

This morning, my thoughts have turned to rest. Specifically, rest, that it seems I am needing a great deal more of. I never needed rest before – or at least I acted like I didn’t need it. I would work from before dawn to after dusk Monday through Sunday. Weekends were taken up with chores – cooking, cleaning, yardwork, being a mom, etc. etc. etc. There was no time for rest – rather, I rarely took the time.

But now, as we’ve been living in hell, it seems like all I want to do is rest.

I can’t help it. I’m tired. Damn tired.

Living in hell is exhausting. Between “hearing (and feeling) the cries of the world,” the increasing division and violence, and the constant bombardment of traumatic events and chaotic actions, I have very little left to give – to anything – other than survival.

It’s no wonder when the weekend comes all I really feel like doing is sitting at home, reading, napping, and watching TV. I have zero bandwidth (or money) for much else. I don’t want to go anywhere or be by anyone. And please don’t ask me to go somewhere where there will be crowds. I get enough of the energy of people during the week, and I really cannot tolerate any more.

I suspect I’m not alone in this – at least among those who are paying attention. As a healer and an empath, I feel it all  – every person’s emotions, feelings, anxieties, frustration, anger, and fear. I can’t help it. My body is like some kind of processor for all the darkness that is erupting in our world. It comes into me and moves through me. It seems I have no choice in the matter. It’s part of what I’m here to do and be. And trust me, it is not out of pride that I share this – because I would not wish this “job” on anyone.

With no choice in the matter, I do what I must to survive: 

First, my home is my sanctuary. I have created it into a place of refuge and safety. It is my hermitage, my monastery, my cloister. With three-foot-thick concrete walls, it is a fortress in which I feel safe. I am here mostly alone or in the company of loved ones or special clients. To the world, my home is invisible. To be found, you must have been given an invitation.

Second, when I’m not at the job that provides the income I need for basic survival, I’m at home. Except for visits to the yoga studio, running basic errands, visiting my favorite coffee shop, I’m home. At home, I am deeply immersed in my practice – meditation, prayer, reflecting, writing, reading, and praying some more. Increasingly, in prayer is how I spend my time. I need it. The world needs it.

Third, I’ve learned to embrace rest. When I’m tired, I nap. When it’s not a “work day,” I rest. In this also, I find I no longer have a choice. I need it after all the energy it takes to live in this hellscape, to be forced to be out in the world, and to be one of the many witnessing and supporting humanity as it decides its own fate – an eternity in hell, the end of the human race, or if they will finally agree to embrace the opportunity they’ve always been given – which is to be Love.

It’s All About Power

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

how we cultivate it, protect it, with whom and under what circumstances we share it

It is not a coincidence that the recent surgery I had (and from which I am still recovering) was to repair a separation of the muscles in the center of my abdomen in the area of the solar plexus and to secure that (likely genetic) weakness. Throughout my life, I have tended to be a leaky person – giving my energy and power away (governed by the solar plexus chakra) to those who don’t deserve it and allowing my energy and power to be stolen from me by ill-intended beings.

In a culture that trains us to be co-dependent, a leaky solar plexus isn’t unusual. We are conditioned to be caretakers of everyone else’s needs but our own, while also being taught it is our responsibility to make the world a better place to live by conquering evil and birthing “love and light.” Whereas I do not argue the love part, what I’ve learned is that conquering evil is less about what we do “out there” and more about what we do within.

Those who operated in our world from a place of evil, gluttony, lust, wrath, envy, greed, sloth, and pride are doing so from a place of great emptiness. Due to their brokenness, they have no power of their own. As a result, they seek to get that power from others. Think of sexual predators, abusers, manipulators, and deceivers. They all do what they do so as to steal energy and power away from the (perhaps) less broken, but decidedly vulnerable.

Let’s use the “Big Beautiful Bill” as an example. Only powerless, hateful humans would come up with a plan to deprive the most vulnerable among us of the programs that provide for their most basic needs. I had a moment of fear and allowed myself a couple days to grieve after the tentative passing of the bill. Myself, my son, my father, and other people I dearly love, stand to lose access to life-saving care should the bill be implemented as planned.

This brings me back to power. It was appropriate for me to allow a day to grieve and process, but with this, and other situations I find myself facing in this moment, I also have a choice. Will I allow my own energy and power to be drawn from me by ill-intended beings? Am I willing to give my energy to worry, fear, anger, hatred, and rage (which is exactly what the ill-intended want), or do I call my energy back to myself and anchor it deep within my own being where it belongs?

The easy answer is the latter. Accomplishing this task, however, is easier said than done. It takes years, and sometimes a lifetime, to realize that we have been giving our energy away or that it is being stolen from us. Some never learn this. I’m grateful that sometime in the last 20ish years, I came to understand the energy draining behavior with which I had become familiar. Today, I’m still working on NOT giving my energy away and keeping it to myself. It is a daily, if not a moment by moment practice.

Our energy and power was never meant for anyone but ourselves. It is ours. It is what fuels our gifts and draws those in need of our gifts toward us. Unfortunately, it also draws to us those who want our energy for their own with no intention of acknowledging or applying the gifts we so freely share. Our power serves as a magnet, drawing toward us those of like mind, our “tribe,” along with those who would use our gifts for their own ill-intended benefit. I think of it this way, fully-in-power humans draw other fully-in-power humans along with those who are lacking in true power and think they can get some by spending time with us. The mythological name for the latter of these two is succubi. You know of whom I speak – those who are draining just to be around and those who enthusiastically claim to respect and honor your gifts and drink deeply of the well you provide, but who actually learn nothing for lack of application. Equally guilty are those who say they value your gifts but do nothing to engage, utilize, or share them.

Every time we give our energy to these kinds of people, we are depriving ourselves of our own power and diminishing that which we may be called to share with those who would actually benefit. You will know this experience by how you feel exhausted, frustrated, impatient, and even angry over how you’ve given your energy away or how it’s been stolen from you.

The key, is to STOP. Stop giving away your gifts, your energy, your time, your power, to those undeserving. The politicians and constituents who supported the “Big Beautiful Bill” are not deserving of your energy or power. Engaging in worry and fear, anger and hatred, the desire to do battle, serves no one except those who want you to feel afraid. Instead of giving into the temptation of allowing your energy and power to be drained away, CALL IT BACK. When you find yourself worried, impatient, afraid, angry, STOP and call that energy back. Draw it deep into yourself and hold it there.  Allow the magic of your power to gather, grow, strengthen, and become anchored in who you are as a person of Love. SIT in that Love and allow it to radiate from within you.  Sitting in the center of your own power deprives life-force vampires from taking your energy and triggering your fears. Keeping your energy to yourself prevents succubi and other ill-intended beings from their source of nourishment. Don’t let them have it -your power or your energy. Keep it to yourself. This is how we drain the swamp – not by giving into their ministrations, chaos, and bullying tactics, but by calling our energy back to ourselves and keeping it there. When we stop giving them our power, they have nothing left to live from. Then, they will either get help for their brokenness, or die from lack of nourishment.

When we stop giving our energy away, we and our solar plexus energy center will find itself healthy and wholly intact – as it was always meant to be.

PS  Thank you to Dr. Lee Stratton and his team at Aurora Hospital for your expert care and support.

In my online course, Into the Wilderness with Authentic Freedom, we do a deep dive into the chakra system – how each chakra corresponds to our physical, mental, emotional, and especially spiritual bodies. In this course, you learn how to identify the fears that are triggering energy leaks (for example) and other non-life-giving symptoms and how to heal and transform those fears so that you might return to your most authentic self.

Learn more HERE

A Day of Mourning

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 9 Comments

Today, we are supposed to be celebrating the signing of the Declaration of Independence, the birth of our nation and the freedoms granted by the Constitution of the United States. Today, this all feels like a joke. What can we possibly celebrate as millions of Americans are poised to lose the very services that allow them to be free, and millions have already lost those freedoms?

Today I will not be celebrating. Instead, I have set aside the day for grieving and prayer.

I know all of this is part of the death of the empire. I also hold on to the hope that this death will be clearing a way for something more just, compassionate, and free. Today, however, I just don’t see it. Those in power seem to be hell-bent on making America a home for the grotesquely wealthy at the expense of everyone else.

Instead of rambling on about all my heart of heart hopes this to be, please feel free to peruse my past writings about this death, or join me, as together we grieve the death of what we were told this nation could be.

I am with you in your grieving.

With love,

Lauri

Supplementary Articles:

Independence Day 2023

July Fourth

Seeing Beyond Appearances

Death Throes of the Empire

Cassandra Syndrome

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

The struggle of feeling unseen and unheard

Two nights ago, I suffered one of my repeating nightmares. In this dream, not unlike many others like it, I was invited to speak to a group of people on a topic about which I was considered an expert. I spoke and no matter what I said, how I said it, or what I did to get the audience’s attention, I was completely ignored. Instead of listening to what I was saying, or paying attention to my presentation, the audience was talking and laughing amongst themselves. Finally, I put down my microphone and simply walked away. The audience didn’t even notice that I had left the podium, or the room.  They just continued with whatever they were doing, completely oblivious to my presence, or lack thereof.

The theme of this dream is one I have often. Speaking, teaching, announcing, begging, pleading with an individual or an audience while being completely ignored – unseen and unheard. At the end of these dreams, I wake up feeling frustrated and even a bit angry.

Why can’t or won’t they hear me?????

I wish I could say these dreams are simply a reflection of my own insecurity or lack of confidence. Instead, these dreams are a direct reflection of real-life experiences I have had. There have been countless occasions where I’ve been invited “as an expert” to speak to an audience or deliver a presentation and quite literally been ignored. I’m standing, or sitting, delivering whatever talk I’ve been invited to present, and I’m met with a room of blank stares. Or worse, as was the case in one corporate presentation, the audience actually made fun of me!  Or in another, where I was hosting a class and an organized group of people showed up to my class simply to harass and abuse me.

It’s not only in delivering presentations where I have felt unseen or unheard. While in graduate school, the university I was attending was going through a massive shake-up which resulted in a change in ownership and leadership. As students we were invited into a “townhall” meeting to discuss these changes and our feelings about it. In my time to share, I offered some suggestions based on my own previous experience with another institution going through something similar. I watched my words go up into the air and fall flat onto the ground while those who were meant to receive these words stared back at me blankly.

These experiences of feeling unseen and unheard have been a plague throughout my life. Whether it be in a teaching situation, when asked to present on a topic of expertise, writing my blog, trying to explain what I do, or offering deep knowledge about impending doom, I am met with blank stares. Sometimes those blank stares turn into any number of incredulous responses: “How can you know that?”  “You’re just being judgmental.” “That can’t be true.”

But the fact remains, I DO KNOW. Whether one calls it prophecy or simply the ability to read the room, I KNOW. And, I’m always right. Every. Single. Time. But no matter how often I’m proven true, or my work is shown to be of value, or others testify on my behalf, I cannot escape the very real experience of most often feeling unseen and unheard. No, it’s more than a feeling, many, arguably most, simply CANNOT hear me. Or if they can hear me, they choose not to listen.

When I shared about the dream on social media, my dear sister-in-law responded “Cassandra.” Admittedly, I had to look this up.  I had heard the terms “Cassandra Complex,” or “Cassandra Syndrome” before, but I didn’t really understand what it meant. As it turns out, neither do the so-called experts!

Every single post on this topic made it sound like “Cassandra Complex” was some sort of psychological disease – one experienced by women who think they are psychic and who go raving mad (“hysterical”) over not being heard. In these articles, the Cassandra is portrayed as sick and at-fault. Nowhere could I find validation for those who possess authentic intuitive gifts (or are just plain paying attention) and the very real frustration that arises when trying to share one’s gifts and being met with only a brick wall.

Cassandra was not the sick or insane person in the myth. The villain in the story is Apollo. Metaphorically, Apollo represents the ruling system and those invested in that system. Apollos are those who benefit from the ruling system, who prefer status quo, and who do not want to be disturbed by ideas that would question, challenge, or confront that system. Cassandra is the confronter. Cassandra brings visions of a new world, presents methods for escaping the status quo, and provides comfort and support for the natural grief that arises when one system is failing and a new one is trying to find its way in.

Cassandras are the truth bringers and light bearers. As light bearers, they often shine a light on that which has been hiding in the shadows and which needs to be confronted and healed to make room for more light. Apollos, as they cling to what they know, feel threatened by that which might point out that what they know might be a lie, or that they may have to let something go to experience something new. Apollos don’t want new. They’re happy with how things are. In response to a threat to their closely-held status-quo, Apollos will either go into a defensive mode, attempting to discredit the Cassandra, or they will simply turn a deaf ear. To the Cassandra, both are equally hurtful.

I have been on the receiving end of the Apollo response too many times to count. I can attest to the pain of being ignored and the deep frustration of being unheard. When met with this kind of refusal (which has often been accompanied by condemnation), I either become angry or feel profoundly defeated. It’s really difficult not being heard.

Yesterday, while struggling with the emotional hangover of the dream, I brought this Cassandra quandary into my prayers. Resigning myself to the reality of being a Cassandra in a world of Apollos just didn’t feel like enough of a response. (I sometimes think there is a fine line between resignation and suppression. Clearly, if I’m still having the dream, my feelings of frustration over not being heard have not truly been healed.) As I sat in wait for God’s answer to my prayer, I heard the simple words:

TURN AROUND

Then I saw, in my mind’s eye, an image of myself turning away from the Apollo world and toward the Cassandras of this world – those who also carry visions of the new, who call out the evils of this world, who seek healing of hearts and unity of spirits. It is not to the Apollos of this world that I am speaking – it is to those who have ears to hear and eyes to see – those who have grown tired of the status quo and who seek after something new that is more loving, gentle and kind than what humanity has heretofore created for itself.

Being a Cassandra in a world of Apollos is never easy, but maybe in turning around I will finally feel heard and seen and that will bring an end to these dreams.