Catholic/Christianity

“Women Can’t Image Christ”? Why the Hell Not!?

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

It’s been a minute since I’ve gone head-to-head with the Catholic Church, but the Vatican’s most recent statement forbidding women to be ordained as deacons has provided just the right amount of fuel to fan my flames of righteousness.

Before I get into the grisly details, let me start by saying this:

In no way, shape, or form, do I have any interest in being ordained by an institution defined by clericalism deeply rooted in misogyny; and to be honest, I’m a little suspect of women who would want to be ordained into that patriarchal/hierarchical power-hungry fraternity.

That being said, as a woman with a ministerial calling, who considers Jesus her teacher and who has modeled her own ministry on Jesus’ example. I am living proof that a vocational calling to serve is not limited to men. Further, there is scriptural proof that Jesus commissioned women to serve (Mary Magdalene) along with historical evidence of women in the early church who served as both deacons and in priestly roles.

Now let’s get to the grisly details. From the National Catholic Reporter: “A Vatican commission studying the possibility of female deacons reported that the current state of historical and theological research ‘excludes the possibility of proceeding’ toward admitting women to the diaconate.”  In other words, seven men voted against the ordination of women into the diaconate. The justification for this exclusion, stated in a commentary signed by retired Italian Cardinal Giuseppe Petrocchi, was that “women cannot image Christ.”

WHAT?!

It’s one thing for the Church to use big-T tradition, and little t – tradition as it’s excuse for not ordaining women. It’s also a well-known and documented fact that the institution of the Catholic Church has done everything in its power to keep women down, holding women to different standards than men, scrutinizing women saints more ruthlessly than their male counterparts, ignoring and then demonizing the very women Jesus appointed to continue his ministry, etc. etc. etc. We have long known the Church to be a bastion of misogyny, despite their protestations.

Me thinkest they protesteth too much – and this recent statement proves it. In these words, the Church has finally laid bare the truth of their beliefs – women are less than, and therefore unworthy of imaging Christ.

It’s funny to me, really (funny ironic, and funny sad). Because despite everything I was taught and the promises that were made in my own ministerial training within the Catholic Church, I experienced directly the privilege men, especially priests, received in the Church. Men are held to lesser standards than women, afforded greater opportunities, and awarded with advancement and praise. I received the identical education and training as my male counterparts, yet they were rewarded with ordination. I, and my female co-horts were not. When I experienced scrutiny and harassment by the local self-appointed inquisition, the Church did not have my back, instead, it joined the bandwagon.  For the men, with whom I served, who were acting amorally, the Church just looked the other way.

Women have always been treated as “other” in the Catholic Church, but to say that women cannot “image Christ,” is just bad theology!

Isn’t “imaging Christ” exactly what we’ve been taught????? Isn’t this what we were told in twelve years of Catholic school? Isn’t this what scripture invites us to be and do? Aren’t we all called to “be Christ in the world?”

If this is no longer, or has never been true for women, then what’s the point? Why adhere to Jesus’ teachings? Why follow his example? Why “put on Christ” if it’s really only men who can image him?

In saying that women cannot image Christ, regardless of the call to be ordained, the Church has told millions of women throughout history who have called Jesus teacher, served in his name, been the Love he called us to be in the world, that we don’t matter.

And you know what, they’re right. We DO NOT MATTER –  to the Church. We never have. The Church has just pretended we matter because it is the women who have always done the work.

Maybe not anymore. In light of the knowledge of what the Church actually believes about women, maybe we should leave (I technically left long ago). Without those of us who “cannot image Christ,” the Church would collapse. And maybe that’s exactly what the Church deserves.

In the meantime, I still consider Jesus to be my teacher and Mary Magdalene my guide. I continue working on being the Love Jesus calls us to be in the world. I know that despite what the Church says, I am doing my best to “image Christ,” as are all the women I know who hold up Love as their purpose and mission, because the truth is, the Church does not have the power to deny what Christ has already ordained.

Finally, my official response to the Church – a big fat F-you!

Is Your God too Small?

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

This past weekend an article came out in which Kim Kardashian, after failing the bar exam, was complaining about all the money she spent on psychics who all told her she would pass, and how duped she felt by them. My response was “duh.” Relying on psychics to determine your success seems naïve ( at best). Especially when (in my personal experience), many (if not most) psychics are happy to take your money and then tell you exactly what you want to hear.

This article isn’t about psychics. Neither is it about Kim Kardashian. What inspired me to pen this musing was the comment thread relating to Kim’s rant. In the comments an individual wrote, “You block God’s blessings when you mess with that stuff.”  I suggested to the commenter that her God might be too small. She said, “I’m Catholic do with that what you will.”  I chuckled because I’m Catholic too (kind of) and the “God” I have come to know is way too big to be limited by the likes of a few psychics, or by those who would turn to psychics for “guidance.” I am of the firm belief that there is NOTHING that can limit or block God – the Presence, Power, Providence or Grace of God.

“I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God” Romans 8: 38-39

Turning to a psychic doesn’t “block God’s blessings.” All that happens is that we are giving away our own power to reason, discern, and exercise our own truth by putting someone outside of us in the position of power. The same is true when we give anyone the power to determine the path of our lives – parents, teachers, religious leaders, government officials, partners, etc. etc. etc. The only true and reliable authority dwells within us in our connection and union with that which I call “God.”

If you grew up in any kind of Christian denomination, the “God” you were taught was most likely the old man in the sky God – the one Jesus called Abwoon – which has most often been translated as “father.” This “father” God was then painted into the image of either a vengeful, wrathful, punitive father, or one of great compassion like the father in the story of the Prodigal Son – in other words, a God made in our image.  

Even the Catholic Church eschews these images of God in humankind’s image:

God is neither man nor woman. God is pure spirit in which there is no place for the difference between the sexes. (Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 370)

Jesus taught of a God who is Spirit who is all-loving and who is present within us, among us, and all around us. John, in his letters, called God Love (1 John 4). And yet, even the Catholic Church who teaches these scriptures and authored the Catechism, often preaches of a God who is too small. (Hence the woman who believes a psychic has the power to block God).

I, however, refuse to allow God to be limited by the threats of the inquisition, the local Church, by Bishops, priests, or congregants who seem to have missed the whole entire point of Jesus’ teachings. There is nothing greater than the Love that made us, surrounds us, and dwells within us. Even our own forgetting of or disbelief in God is not enough to separate us from that Love. It is our origin, our true nature, and our ultimate destination, for at the end of the day, Love is all there is and there is nothing that can block that.

Love is Kindness

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Yesterday, nearly 7 million Americans gathered as an outward example of Love in what has been called the “No Kings” rallies. Contrary to dispersions cast, there were ZERO violent acts within or among those who gathered. Beyond the perception of politics, people of all ages and genders gathered to express their support of the freedoms promised by the US Constitution and on behalf of those who have been maligned and mistreated by those who have forgotten how to Love.

Love, in the context of the human identity, can only be understood in one way – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you;” or as Jesus has been quoted as saying, “Love one another as I have loved you.” For those who claim to follow Jesus, or call him their savior, it is to Jesus’ words and actions that one might understand Jesus’ commandment about love. Jesus’ example is clear:

  • He treated people of all beliefs, social standing, race, and gender with love, honor, and respect.
  • He focused his attention on those who were marginalized in his culture: women, children, the poor, the sick, the ostracized, those who the culture condemned as unclean, those condemned by the culture as sinful and undeserving of God’s grace. 
  • Jesus welcomed those otherwise shunned.
  • He defined what it meant to be love: giving sight to the blind, visiting prisoners, setting captives free, care and provide for those who cannot care for themselves.

In short, Jesus’ example is one of kindness – to every single person whatever their need might be.

Love is Kindness.

Also, as Bono of U2 described in the lyrics he wrote for song of the same name:

Love is Blindness.

To exercise the kindness Love requires, we must take on a sort of blindness. Blindness in this case is related to judgment. To truly Love, we must set aside the conditioning and experiences we have had which may have prejudiced us against others, or which has caused us to separate each other into “us and them.” Love sees no separation – only the fact that we are ONE human race, each deserving of love, respect, honor, and care.

This is what I saw in the “No Kings” gatherings – not a bunch of people against something, but a mass of people for humanity. We are one humanity on an individual and collective journey toward Love. Kindness is one path that helps us to get there.

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Letters from Hell #3 – Jesus

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 4 Comments

In hell, everything is a distorted and twisted version of its true self. This is especially true of the man called Jesus, after whom Christianity was given its name.

Say what you will about the Catholic Church (I will not argue), in the parishes and schools in which I was raised, above anything else, we were taught that Jesus was Love. Therefore, by association, so too was God. Rather, Jesus came to remind us that despite humanity’s desire to make God in their own image, God was, in fact, Love.  Period. End of sentence. End of paragraph. In the Church in which I was raised, this God loved all of humanity without condition. It didn’t matter your race, your nationality, your gender, or even your religion, God loved all infinitely and abundantly.

The Jesus that taught this Love is not the Jesus that exists in hell. Instead, the Jesus of hell (and therefore the God he represents) plays favorites. This Jesus divides humanity into “true believers” and “the damned.” This Jesus encourages his followers to hate those who are not like them – to hate people of color, women, people who follow other gods (isn’t there only one God? At least that’s what I was always taught), essentially anyone who isn’t a straight, white, male. Even more strange than this, the Jesus in hell is American.

I’m not sure how a brown-skinned, middle eastern Jewish man became American, but to Christian Nationalists, it is America who has received a special blessing from Christ along with the command to convert the whole country (and then the world) into Evangelical, Fundamentalist Christianity.

Like I said, the Jesus in hell is bizarre! This Jesus is a stranger to me. I don’t know who he is or where he came from.

Actually, that’s not true. I know exactly where he came from because I’ve seen it happen with my own eyes.

The Jesus in hell is born out of humanity’s fears.

I’ve seen it over and over and over. Seemingly normal human beings who have been able to live in harmony and peace with people of differing beliefs and lifestyles, suddenly turning toward fundamentalism in its many forms. Every single time, this dramatic turning around is precipitated by something traumatic that casts the individual into fear, and its ugly bed-fellow – shame.

Let me provide a few examples from my own Catholic experience.

  • The young woman who found herself unexpectedly pregnant and who chose to terminate the pregnancy and who never sought out the help that might have supported her in self-forgiveness, who later turned to fundamentalist Catholicism (yes, that’s a thing) so she could be absolved of her guilt (she never did accept the fullness of God’s love that would have allowed her to release her shame, dying with that shame).
  • The young adult man who experienced an enjoyable sexual encounter with another man but became ashamed of the act as he was unwilling to accept that he might be gay. He also turned to fundamentalist Catholicism so that he might earn God’s forgiveness.
  • The adult woman who was once excited and open about some of the “new age” authors of the 90’s, who later discovered her child was being molested by a family member. She dropped all “new age” authors believing they were the cause of the trauma that happened in their family and then became a devout fundamentalist Catholic.
  • The young couple who discovered their child had a debilitating and ultimately fatal disease who suddenly turned to fundamentalist Catholicism hoping through it they could pray away their child’s disease.

For those not raised Catholic – fundamentalist Catholicism is known in a strict interpretation of Catholic dogma (letter of the law), often leaning toward a pre-Vatican II expression of Catholicism. Some of this leaning go so far as to reject the Vatican II council completely and seek out congregations that perform the Latin mass. Some take it further and reject Catholic social teachings along with anything that suggests people of other faiths might be “saved.”

I get it.  I understand how fear can provoke us to seek out something that might absolve us of that fear. The same is true of shame. For some, peace is found in absolutes and in the belief that in abiding with these absolutes, they are right(eous). Some even find freedom from shame in embracing “salvation.”  Proclaiming Jesus Christ as their personal lord and savior gives many people the peace they need to mitigate the anxiety of living in an uncertain world. Jesus resides in this peace.

Jesus, however, is not in the division and hatred that is sometimes (even often) espoused in denominations created in his name – this includes the Catholic faith in which I was raised.

Jesus is not in the hatred. He is not in the division. He is not in the calls to war. Not once did he ask people to be soldiers in or kill in his name. He never spoke about sexual orientation or condemned people of differing beliefs. Jesus isn’t even Christian. He was a Jew. Period.

And yet, the Jesus in hell is all of this. Whispering hatred in his followers’ ears. Urging them to side with genocide. Tempting them to condemn the immigrant. Forbidding them from feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, caring for the sick, liberating the prisoner. The Jesus in hell goes so far as to tell his followers that the more money they have the more they are loved by God and that they should hoard that money and do whatever it takes to amass wealth, power, and privilege. This Jesus has told his followers that the man who currently holds office who is a proven rapist, thief, and liar, was chosen and is the Beloved of God, and is here to usher in the Second Coming.

I can’t with this Hell-Jesus. He’s a liar and a horribly twisted and distorted version of the Jesus of Love. He is everything that the Jesus of Love is not. And yet, he is the one that people are increasingly turning to as the world falls apart. So much so, that the Jesus of Love is really difficult to find. I’m just grateful for all the experiences, resources, and tools that have come into my life that have helped me, not only to discover, but to personally know the God that is Love. My prayer, is only, that more turn to this Love (by whatever name you call it) for it is the only way that humanity might one day know peace.  

An Uncommon Priesthood

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

Uncommon: not ordinarily encountered: unusual; remarkable, exceptional

Priest: someone who is authorized to perform the sacred rites of a religion especially as a mediatory agent between humans and God

Priesthood: the office, dignity, or character of a priest

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

On the first day of the Christology course that was part of my ministry training, our (female) professor asked those of us who felt called to ordination to raise our hands. The men in our class, as was to be expected, raised their hands as they were on the track to becoming deacons. My friend, Karen, and I also raised our hands. That got us a giggle because women, of course, are not allowed to be ordained, either as a deacon or a priest, in the Catholic Church.

I was a preacher
My heart broke for all the world
But teaching was unrighteous for a girl
In the summer I was baptized in the mighty Colorado
In the winter I heard the hounds and I knew I had been found
And in my Savior’s name, I laid my weapons down
But I am still around… (Highwomen, lyrics by Amanda Rose Shires / Brandi Carlile / Jimmy L. Webb)

That was thirty years ago, and yet still today, women are barred from priesthood in the Catholic Church. That prohibition, however, has not lessened my call to be priest. In the years since, I have discerned priesthood through two denominations outside of the Catholic Church, but in both instances, the prevalence of clericalism in those institutions dissuaded me from completing that path.

Clericalism:  a policy of maintaining or increasing the power of a religious hierarchy (to Merriam-Webster’s definition, I would add: lauding, flaunting, defending, and enforcing that power and in some cases, using it to justify non-loving acts)

To me, priesthood has never been about power. It has always been about service. Neither has it been about hierarchy. Instead, it is a collaboration of gifts in support of individual and collective need. This is the priesthood I see in Jesus and what he drew forth from those who gathered around him. Jesus was not a leader who wanted followers. Instead, he was a catalyst who empowered people in their gifts. By humbly serving those most in need, Jesus’ example challenged the religious and political institutions of his time. These institutions valued their power and privilege over the people they were meant to serve.

Sadly, Jesus’ example did not stand as the early disciples (Peter and Paul in particular) traded the collaborative empowerment that Jesus’ taught them for patriarchal and hierarchical power. This model still stands today in nearly all Christian institutions. This is why I did not, cannot, and refuse, to fit into any institution that values power over service.

Instead, it seems, I have carved out a priesthood all my own. One that has been ordained, not by a bishop’s anointing and laying on of hands, but by careful attention to the call of Love, and living out that Love in all the many ways I have been called. Sometimes this call looks priestly in the marriages and funerals I officiate. Sometimes this call looks formative as I create and facilitate classes and write books in support of participants’ personal/spiritual development. Sometimes it looks pastoral in the one-on-one spiritual counseling I provide. Sometimes the service I provide supports people in their healing, in finding direction, and in experiencing comfort.

Most commonly, however, my priesthood is confirmed in unexpected and surprising ways. It is known in the 6am phone call from a distant friend seeking support for a family member in crisis. It is known in the generous financial donations I sometimes find in my mailbox. It is known in the confidences people have shared with me during challenging times. It is in the many acquaintances who suddenly seek my support and my own wondering of why they chose me. Why would they trust me with this, I barely know them? And yet, time and time and time again, this is so. People who I know – but not really. Amazing, lovely people who I have come to know and love along the way – but we don’t really hang out. People who I know from simply being me in the small community where I live. People, in whom I’ve likely seen something (love, kindness, generosity, honesty, integrity, authenticity) who are somehow seeing me, and trusting me with the most intimate and challenging times of their lives.

This is the priesthood for which I am most grateful.  A priesthood that is unexpected and surprising and looks absolutely nothing like what we have come to associate with being priest. And yet, it is exactly what the Catholic Church preaches in its invitation to participate in the priesthood of all believers (Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraphs: 1267, 1268, 1141, 1143, 1268, 1305, 1535, 1547, 1591, and 1592). Whereas the institutional church does not recognize my priestly calling, I am profoundly humbled and grateful to all those who have invited me to serve in this role.

The Price of Truth

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

……laughing uproariously…….

……don’t say I didn’t warn you…..

……when are people going to start listening to me????? (in my best Tommy Shelby brogue)

……When is the world going to start listening to its prophets?

Thanks.  I had to let that out.

In all seriousness, I am literally laughing my head off at the whole “Epstein files” debacle. When congress BLOCKS the release of classified information related to the Jeffrey Epstein trial, including Epstein’s client list, we know it is Congress that has something to hide, NOT the now deceased Epstein. When the President of the United States insists he didn’t know Jeffrey Epstein, or anything about a list, we all know he “protesteth too much.” 

We know. We absolutely know the truth. Epstein was a predator, child sex trafficker, and ran a private sex island for the rich and famous and the pedophiles among them. He went to jail for it, as did his partner. We know that our president knew him, was friends with him, and went to his private sex parties. We know there is a list. WE ARE NOT STUPID, and yet, some are convinced they can pull the wool over our eyes and pretend there is nothing to see. (pay no attention to the man behind the curtain)

But we do see. After the priest sex abuse scandal, Harvey Weinstein, P. Diddy, R. Kelly, etc. you would think we’d be able to see and know.

I’ll put it bluntly, I liken the evils of Epstein, Maxwell, and all those who went to their little island to those of A. Joseph Maskell, the now former priest who was accused of sexually abusing students, inviting local people of importance to participate in his sex parties, and murdering the Sr. Catherine Cesnik who reported him. I liken the president’s denial and the congressional ruling to the Catholic bishops who denied and then attempted to cover up Maskell’s sins – that and the institutional Church who for centuries denied and covered up the evils that were being done to children by Catholic priests.

This shit is real. And it is often the most powerful among us who are guilty of the most heinous crimes, and yet they have always been the ones to get away with it.

NOT ANYMORE. We are living in a time of profound revelation. Evil upon evil upon evil is being shown to us as the crumbling walls of the institutions that have hidden and even defended these evils are falling around us.

To the revelation of truth, I say BRING IT. To our eyes that are tempted to turn away, I say LOOK CLOSELY.

Look at the evil. See the devil for who and what it really is – men and women living among us in positions of perceived power doing the most awful and terrible things. SEE IT.  LOOK AT IT. REALIZE THE HORROR OF IT.

And then, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

The time of truth seeing is now. And while we want to deny there is evil among us, while we want to think the best of those in perceived positions of authority, while we want to believe our nation is free, the truth is something else entirely.

As Jack Nicholson in the movie A Few Good Men famously said, “You want the truth? You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” 

YES WE CAN.  Or we had better learn.

I admit, it sucks. It is something terrible to learn of the evils rampant in institutions for which we once had respect, hope, and even love. As the priest sex abuse scandal was being revealed, I remember feeling heartbroken and betrayed. I felt hurt and disgusted. Then I began to see the corruption of the institution and how it not only fosters but encourages pedophilia.

The same will be true if, and when, Epstein’s list is ever released. I suspect there will be names on that list that we initially will not be able to believe. Politicians, CEO’s, actors, etc. we may have held in high regard. I also suspect the list is ENORMOUS – the revelation of which will bring the American empire to its knees. (I suspect this is what those who know are really afraid of). Rome will not be burning. It will erupt like an atomic bomb.

Kind of like what happened in the Catholic Church. A mass exodus of formerly devout believers who could no longer support an institution built on the blood of innocent children.

The truth is that there is true evil in our world and the only way to free ourselves from these evils is to see them.  Call them out. Dismantle the institutions that have fostered these evils. Heal the wounds caused by these evils, and then build something new.

While some may argue the cost of revealing the truth, to me, FREEDOM is worth every effort toward seeing and knowing the truth, for freedom is priceless. As Jesus once said, “THE TRUTH will set you free.” This is what he meant.

Humanity’s Enlightenment is NOT my Responsibility!

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 4 Comments

Of the friends that I have who have chosen a Buddhist path, several have shared their decision to take the “Bodhisattva Vow.”  With this vow (part of the Mahayana Buddhist path), they promise (among other things) to work for the sake of humanity’s enlightenment to the point of forsaking their own liberation from the wheel of life until all sentient beings have achieved enlightenment. In short, they are promising to return to the human experience – life after life after life – until all of humanity is enlightened.

I’m not Buddhist, and I’m sure there are many layers to this vow and ways to understand it, and I’m only understanding it on a very surface level… but to promise to return to the human experience until all beings are enlightened?

HELL NO!

Don’t get me wrong, I have a deep love of humanity and deeply desire for all of humanity to know peace, love, and joy, and to experience the freedom of liberation. BUT, it sure as hell isn’t MY job to enlighten them. Neither do I plan on waiting around until all humans across all time finally decide to wake up and learn how to be loving and kind to each other. Based on my experience of some humans, I could be waiting around for an eternity.

No thank you!  When I’m done with this life, I’m outta here, hopefully never to return!

Beyond the faith in which I was raised that tells us we’ve already been liberated, and that death is the final liberation, humanity’s enlightenment is not my responsibility. Regarding enlightenment, I can hardly take care of myself!  Besides, if humanity’s enlightenment was my responsibility, a hell of a lot more people would be listening to me. (ha ha ha…thump)

I leave Buddhists to their beliefs, but as one actively recovering from a Messiah Complex, the Boddhisatva vow sounds a little co-dependent – suggesting it’s our job to take care of others to the point of personal sacrifice, and that there is some sort of “award” for doing so. This strikes me as not much different than the Catholic practice of indulgences as a way of earning our way into heaven. If Jesus did his job properly (and we’ve been taught that he did), then we don’t need to do shit to get into heaven. The payment’s already been made (if you subscribe to atonement theology).

I don’t subscribe to atonement theology. Neither do I ascribe to the belief that Jesus died for our sins. Instead, I believe he died for speaking in ways that empowered people on a path that might free them from the ruling institutions of the time. These institutions felt threatened by the “enlightenment” that Jesus offered and killed him for it. That being said, I don’t believe that Jesus was responsible for the enlightenment of those he taught. Neither is he the source of salvation in the way we have been taught by institutional religion. Instead, he found his own enlightenment and simply shared with others how to do the same. His listeners could choose to accept what he offered, or not.

The Bodhisattva vow, along with atonement theology seem to be placing responsibility for enlightenment in the wrong hands. Enlightenment, as I understand it today, is purely the responsibility of the individual. In fact, it may not even be up to the individual to decide as enlightenment may simply be a matter of fate (more on that later).

Arriving at this understanding of enlightenment as being the individual’s responsibility, however, has been an arduous journey. Based on conditioning, life experiences, trauma, and woundedness, I came to believe it was my job to save the world. It stood to reason, if I could convince human beings to be loving and kind, and later, teach them how to get there, the world might finally feel safe.  Right?

WRONG! Instead, I have learned that I cannot convince anyone of anything they do not want to do for themselves, and I certainly can’t do it for them (no matter how hard I tried). Human beings are stubborn and willful and cling tightly to what they know – no matter how harmful that knowing might be to and for them. Jesus spoke of this often! 

What I have come to understand is that the only human I can save is myself – and even that is debatable! This begs the question – from what do I/we need saving anyway?

In the simplest of terms, we are each a unique and individual expression of Source, here to have a human experience. From this perspective, there are an infinite number of ways in which Source might choose to express itself. Within those infinite expressions are infinite choices. In a single life not every human will choose enlightenment. Across many lifetimes, some might never choose enlightenment.

What good is enlightenment anyway if the cycle of the human experience is that we come from Source and when we are done being human we return to Source? We’re here. We have a life. We die. We return to Source. No judgment. No right or wrong. Simply Source expressing itself. In this we have to allow that Source is just as likely to express itself as an oligarch or serial killer as it is to express itself as Buddha or Christ. So what difference does enlightenment make anyway?

To some, enlightenment (as I understand it) is a way to heal and transform from non-loving conditioning, woundedness, and trauma, so that they might experience life as a little more peaceful, kind, and loving and in this they might find contentment. To others, they may have simply come here to be human and experience the fullness of the human experience as it is right here and right now, simply and without judgement or the need to change it.  This, in fact, may be its own kind of enlightenment!

Enlightenment is a personal choice. If you choose it, cool.  If not, that’s ok too.  For my part, I can’t say that I’ve been seeking enlightenment, simply a way to feel at home within myself and to know some measure of peace in this life. If by my choosing and sharing, others feel inspired to cultivate their own kind of enlightenment, then so be it. If not, that’s their business.  It’s not my job to make them do it or try to do it for them.  And I’m certainly not waiting around for the collective of humanity to choose love and kindness over the hatred and cruelty that so many seem to enjoy. I’ve done for myself what I have felt called to do and humanity is on its own. Their enlightenment is not my responsibility.

For over thirty years, I have been on a deeply transformational journey to uncover my truest nature so that I might live the life that most reflects that. This journey has brought me face to face with my own woundedness and non-supportive societal conditioning and led me to tools to help support my inner transformation. This journey has empowered me to find the answer to these three questions and to then live out those answers:

  • Who am I?
  • Whose am I?
  • What are my unique gifts and how am I called to share them in the world?

Out of this journey, I have created a full curriculum of online courses and trainings through which I am able to share the knowledge, insights, wisdom, and tools that I gained so that you too might discover the fulfillment of living the life you were meant to enjoy. These online courses provide for all levels of personal and spiritual development with a focus on embodied learning – that which transcends the mind and reaches into the heart. All classes support you in your journey of self-actualization and are rooted in scholarship, mindfulness practices, and psychology.

Lauri Ann Lumby, educator, author, mentor.

See all classes here.

Christians Giving God a Bad Name

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Ugh!  Where do I even begin? I guess the best place is what is right in front of our noses as we seem to be living through some sort of apocalyptic fever dream created by a certain kind of so-called Christian. This apocalyptic fever dream is predicated on the defense of perceived white, straight- male privilege, fortified by the narcissistic belief of having been chosen by God, and enforced through illegal capture and incarceration. In this fever dream, there are those chosen by God and those who are the enemy. Those chosen are male of white, straight, European descent who claim to be Christian (and their complicit women). The enemy is everyone else.

These so-called chosen ones claim a white, male God who loves them and hates everyone else. They believe in a time of God’s choosing where they will be ushered into heaven while the remaining are cast into hell. They believe it is their duty to first impose and then enforce “God’s law” (as they understand it).  Any and every means of enforcement is allowed and even celebrated. They consider themselves to be soldiers for God and many have the arsenal to show for it. Their God is the only god, and all other expressions of God are wrong. They celebrate power and wealth and worship the prosperity gospel – believing wealth is their divine right and that if they don’t have it, “the enemy” is at fault. It is therefore their right to destroy the enemy because the enemy is keeping them from what God wills for them. It is their duty to hate those who God hates.

These people call themselves Christian. They claim to know Christ, but I’m quite certain they do not. They may know some version of Christ that they learned from their parents or pastors, but I’m fairly certain if the Love that is Christ showed up in the form of Jesus – a dark-skinned Palestinian man – they would seek to crucify him. (interesting how history unhealed repeats itself).

The very human part of me becomes enraged when I hear people who call themselves Christian preaching racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and sexism. I want to go into battle when I hear Christians justifying evil as “God’s-will.” I want to throw bibles at those who believe it is their divine mission to ignore the needs of the poor and eradicate the programs that provide for their basic needs. I want to throw stones at those who believe food, clothing, shelter, education, and healthcare are solely the right of the privileged and not rights for all. I want to tar and feather them with the words of Jesus (and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights) that say otherwise.

I want to but I won’t. While I feel insane hearing these people speak of their God and their divine rights, the compassionate part of me also understands what I can only imagine as deep, impenetrable wounds that would cause one to see right past the Love that is God and was modeled and taught by Jesus (and a whole slew of other great humans), and into the eyes of hate.

I don’t understand it. But, I wasn’t raised in a home or by a religion that taught me to hate. Sometimes, delivered by imperfect humans (we’re all imperfect), the messages caused confusion, and at times the messages were conflicting, but at the end of the day, I saw past the human imperfection to the Love that was either right in front of my eyes, or hiding beneath the surface. While divine punishment and threats of hell may have been uttered, Love always won out. I heard the Love louder than the fear and it is that which guided me to the “God” that I know today.

My “God” isn’t the old man in the sky (even though that image still persists). To me, God is Love (1 John 4:7). As Love, I can no longer imagine a hell or a devil whose job is to drag us there. God, to me, is not defined by form, but is omnipresent – PRESENT IN ALL THINGS. God is imminent and immanent. God is in us (Luke 17: 20-21) and all around us. God is everything and is Ain-Sof (the no-thing). God is the Source from which all things come forth and to which all things return. This Source is LOVE.

This is the “God” that I have come to know in being raised Catholic, thirty years of dedicated study of scripture including modern-day scripture scholars, and over sixty years of personal meditation, contemplation and prayer over the life of Jesus and his teachings. This Love/God is what has guided me on my path, initiated corrections when I veered from that path, and led me to the deep well of inner peace and contentment that can only come as one comes to know that Love.

When Christians give God a bad name, I think of this.  I think of the God that I have come to know and the hate that is impossible in the face of this Love. I find myself sad for those who think they know God when all they truly know is hate. I wish and pray that one day Love will break them open and show them the peace, joy, and wonder that this Love brings, and how in the face of this Love all fear and separation falls away. I wish for them to realize the Love they are in this Love, and the Love that is in all things. I pray for them to understand that they, and all of creation are expressions of God’s Love. I want for them to have the change of heart that this understanding brings. This change of heart will then empower them to lay down their swords and replace them with Love. Love will then compel them on the path of goodness that knows we are here, not to serve our fear-driven desires, but to be and do the work of Love in the world – healing the sick, caring for the poor, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, providing shelter for the homeless, and setting captives free, as Jesus called us to do. In doing this, they will be proof of the time-honored hymn: “They will know we are Christians by our Love.”