Cassandra Syndrome

Two nights ago, I suffered one of my repeating nightmares. In this dream, not unlike many others like it, I was invited to speak to a group of people on a topic about which I was considered an expert. I spoke and no matter what I said, how I said it, or what I did to get the audience’s attention, I was completely ignored. Instead of listening to what I was saying, or paying attention to my presentation, the audience was talking and laughing amongst themselves. Finally, I put down my microphone and simply walked away. The audience didn’t even notice that I had left the podium, or the room.  They just continued with whatever they were doing, completely oblivious to my presence, or lack thereof.

The theme of this dream is one I have often. Speaking, teaching, announcing, begging, pleading with an individual or an audience while being completely ignored – unseen and unheard. At the end of these dreams, I wake up feeling frustrated and even a bit angry.

I wish I could say these dreams are simply a reflection of my own insecurity or lack of confidence. Instead, these dreams are a direct reflection of real-life experiences I have had. There have been countless occasions where I’ve been invited “as an expert” to speak to an audience or deliver a presentation and quite literally been ignored. I’m standing, or sitting, delivering whatever talk I’ve been invited to present, and I’m met with a room of blank stares. Or worse, as was the case in one corporate presentation, the audience actually made fun of me!  Or in another, where I was hosting a class and an organized group of people showed up to my class simply to harass and abuse me.

It’s not only in delivering presentations where I have felt unseen or unheard. While in graduate school, the university I was attending was going through a massive shake-up which resulted in a change in ownership and leadership. As students we were invited into a “townhall” meeting to discuss these changes and our feelings about it. In my time to share, I offered some suggestions based on my own previous experience with another institution going through something similar. I watched my words go up into the air and fall flat onto the ground while those who were meant to receive these words stared back at me blankly.

These experiences of feeling unseen and unheard have been a plague throughout my life. Whether it be in a teaching situation, when asked to present on a topic of expertise, writing my blog, trying to explain what I do, or offering deep knowledge about impending doom, I am met with blank stares. Sometimes those blank stares turn into any number of incredulous responses: “How can you know that?”  “You’re just being judgmental.” “That can’t be true.”

But the fact remains, I DO KNOW. Whether one calls it prophecy or simply the ability to read the room, I KNOW. And, I’m always right. Every. Single. Time. But no matter how often I’m proven true, or my work is shown to be of value, or others testify on my behalf, I cannot escape the very real experience of most often feeling unseen and unheard. No, it’s more than a feeling, many, arguably most, simply CANNOT hear me. Or if they can hear me, they choose not to listen.

When I shared about the dream on social media, my dear sister-in-law responded “Cassandra.” Admittedly, I had to look this up.  I had heard the terms “Cassandra Complex,” or “Cassandra Syndrome” before, but I didn’t really understand what it meant. As it turns out, neither do the so-called experts!

Every single post on this topic made it sound like “Cassandra Complex” was some sort of psychological disease – one experienced by women who think they are psychic and who go raving mad (“hysterical”) over not being heard. In these articles, the Cassandra is portrayed as sick and at-fault. Nowhere could I find validation for those who possess authentic intuitive gifts (or are just plain paying attention) and the very real frustration that arises when trying to share one’s gifts and being met with only a brick wall.

Cassandra was not the sick or insane person in the myth. The villain in the story is Apollo. Metaphorically, Apollo represents the ruling system and those invested in that system. Apollos are those who benefit from the ruling system, who prefer status quo, and who do not want to be disturbed by ideas that would question, challenge, or confront that system. Cassandra is the confronter. Cassandra brings visions of a new world, presents methods for escaping the status quo, and provides comfort and support for the natural grief that arises when one system is failing and a new one is trying to find its way in.

Cassandras are the truth bringers and light bearers. As light bearers, they often shine a light on that which has been hiding in the shadows and which needs to be confronted and healed to make room for more light. Apollos, as they cling to what they know, feel threatened by that which might point out that what they know might be a lie, or that they may have to let something go to experience something new. Apollos don’t want new. They’re happy with how things are. In response to a threat to their closely-held status-quo, Apollos will either go into a defensive mode, attempting to discredit the Cassandra, or they will simply turn a deaf ear. To the Cassandra, both are equally hurtful.

I have been on the receiving end of the Apollo response too many times to count. I can attest to the pain of being ignored and the deep frustration of being unheard. When met with this kind of refusal (which has often been accompanied by condemnation), I either become angry or feel profoundly defeated. It’s really difficult not being heard.

Yesterday, while struggling with the emotional hangover of the dream, I brought this Cassandra quandary into my prayers. Resigning myself to the reality of being a Cassandra in a world of Apollos just didn’t feel like enough of a response. (I sometimes think there is a fine line between resignation and suppression. Clearly, if I’m still having the dream, my feelings of frustration over not being heard have not truly been healed.) As I sat in wait for God’s answer to my prayer, I heard the simple words:

Then I saw, in my mind’s eye, an image of myself turning away from the Apollo world and toward the Cassandras of this world – those who also carry visions of the new, who call out the evils of this world, who seek healing of hearts and unity of spirits. It is not to the Apollos of this world that I am speaking – it is to those who have ears to hear and eyes to see – those who have grown tired of the status quo and who seek after something new that is more loving, gentle and kind than what humanity has heretofore created for itself.

Being a Cassandra in a world of Apollos is never easy, but maybe in turning around I will finally feel heard and seen and that will bring an end to these dreams.

A Word to Rouse the Weary

This morning, I awoke with the following words rolling over and over in my mind:

“The Lord GOD has given me a well-trained tongue, that I might know how to speak to the weary a word that will rouse them.” (Isaiah 50:4-5)

I’m not sure if God is giving me an order or words to rouse myself.

Oh my God we are weary!  I’m weary. I think we’re all weary.

The weight of the world, especially the world of late, is just too much. Human beings were not made to live this way or under this much distress.

Just when I want to throw America a pity-party, I am reminded of the literal carnage the innocent people of Gaza have been living under, and the abject terror felt by those in Ukraine. Further are the ongoing conflicts in Sudan and the DRC, and every other location on this planet that is experiencing civil war and unrest.

From this perspective, I guess we (Americans) should be grateful. Things could be a whole lot worse.

But still, it sucks. Where once there was an illusion of hope, all it seems that we have now is sorrow and despair as we watch our rights being threatened and the rights of others literally torn from their grasp.

What words could I possibly offer to rouse the weary?

Is it enough to simply acknowledge the soul-crushing exhaustion many are currently feeling? Is it enough to recognize the heartbreak that arises when we see once-free people deprived of their liberties? Is it enough to call out the terror that makes itself known as we bear witness to the implosion of the American empire through the ongoing bombardment of chaotic and illogical “executive orders?” Is it enough to point out the abject failure of the courts to hold a certain administration accountable to actions that directly defy the constitution?

I’m so tired. Soooooo tired. How can I rouse the weary when I’m beyond weary myself? I’m just so sad – sad for those directly in the line of fire, and sad for the death of what was once called “The American Dream.”

This too shall pass? Other nations have experienced and survived their own periods of authoritarianism and tyranny? We too will survive?

But will we?

One thing I know for certain is that we will not be the same. No matter where this experiment in oligarchy goes or how it ends, The United States as a nation will not be the same. At least it better not be. People have already tried to surface candidates for the 2028 election. HELL NO!  While one person seems to be singularly responsible for the carnage we are all now seeing, he is simply a product of the system that put him in office. A system that has been corrupted by money, financial influence, and divisive propaganda. Until the system itself is changed, we will only see more of the same. Billionaires buying votes and decisions made on behalf of those who pad the pockets of our legislators.

While what we are witnessing right now sucks, perhaps it is necessary. How else would we see the depth of brokenness and the extent to which our nation is ruled, not by our elected representatives, but by big money?

As my mom says, “the kitchen has to get dirtier before it can be made clean.”  Perhaps this is what we are seeing – the appliances are finally being pulled away from the wall so that what has been hiding behind and underneath can finally be seen and cleaned away.

God I hope so! 

This brings to mind the experience that broke my last straw. I was working as the dining room manager at a resort in Glacier Park. Our final task, after the resort was closed for the winter, was to deep clean the kitchen. If you’ve ever had to deep clean an industrial kitchen, you know of what I speak. We started at 6am and didn’t end until 6pm (or later). We had to clean, scrub, scour, and polish every nook and cranny of every oven, stove, shelf, food surface, shelves, etc. etc. I was on day 3 or 4 of cleaning and had just cleaned the floor with a literal toothbrush.  I was covered from head to toe in kitchen grease and industrial cleaning products. I looked and smelled like I had just walked through the brimstones of hell. I was tired. I was exhausted. My whole body hurt. The kitchen manager came over to inspect my job and told me I had to do it over.

I cracked. The final straw of my patience shattered. I stood up, looked him in the eye and pointed at the nearest carving knife. “You see that knife? If you say one more fucking word to me, I will stab you in the face.” (Can you hear me actually saying this?????  I shocked myself!)  I was shaking and trembling. His reply, “Lauri, why don’t you go take a break?”  I went out on the back step and bawled my eyes out. 

Now here’s the irony of this tale. For the entire summer, the kitchen manager had it out for me. He was on my ass all summer and rode me ragged. I was certain he hated me – and his actions made me hate him. When I returned to the resort for our winter job at Big Mountain in Whitefish, Montana, he couldn’t wait to be my best friend. WHAT!? Apparently, it took me standing up to him to gain his respect – or he was now so terrified he thought he’d best be nice to me or he might actually get a carving knife in the eye.  (hee hee hee)

Maybe these are my words to rouse the weary.  This is where we are – in the midst of the grossest and most disgusting industrial kitchen deep-clean we have ever seen. For the sake of the future of the nation, we have to do this cleaning – no matter how gross and disgusting it might become – all while being supervised by a bully. Eventually, however, the bully’s actions will hit our last straw, and we will finally gather the energy we need to stand up against the bully and all those who put him in power.

Here’s a recent example of exactly this: Harvard University JUST SAID NO to recent threats of the T-administration and sued him in return. (exactly what I’ve been saying universities and other recently threatened institutions need to do!) Go Harvard! Maybe there is some hope after all.


  • Sanctuary calls together and provides support for those called to be Love in a world troubled by division and hate.
  • Sanctuary bears witness to the destruction of fear-based institutions while being midwife to a new world seeking to be born.
  • Sanctuary seeks to uphold the dignity and rights of every human being, especially the most vulnerable and marginalized among us.

Just Say No!

Regardless of our thoughts on the Trump administration, we cannot deny the way this presidency is revealing the woundedness and corruption of long-cherished American institutions. This woundedness can be summed up in one simple way:

The Trump presidency is showing us how firmly entrenched American institutions are in patriarchy.

While this may be obvious considering that the vast majority of American institutions are founded on a patriarchal/hierarchical model. Patriarchal institutions favor the powerful few while imposing subservience on everyone else.

What has not been so obvious until now is the way in which these patriarchal institutions, and those within these institutions, have allowed themselves to become subservient to the system in which they exist. Patriarchy begets patriarchy with subtle layers of privilege imprisoning those within the very system. Let me point out a few examples:

  1. When the Trump administration ordered the elimination of DEI programs and initiatives, and then Universities and other institutions complied.
  2. When the Trump administration ordered the arrest and deportation of student protestors, and universities (and the Supreme Court) allowed this to happen.
  3. When the Trump administration threatened to deny universities of federal student loan and grant funding, and universities said and did nothing.

These are just three simple examples, all involving universities and colleges. These educational institutions DID NOTHING to stand up for equity and diversity programming, to protect the first amendment, to keep their foreign students safe, or argue against the deprivation of funding upon which they (and their students) rely. They did nothing. Instead, institutions who claim certain values appeared willing to forsake these values simply because someone who appears to be higher than they are on the totem pole of power told them to.

The easy answer might be because of money. Each of these orders were accompanied by a threat of financial deprivation. The more subtle answer, and one even more significant than money, is the reality that every single institution who has complied with the president’s orders are patriarchal in nature and structure. The fact that they so readily bowed to threats proves that they are so entrenched in the system that they are willing to forsake the stated values of the institution and the rights of their students in favor of their own place within the system. “Yes sir, Mr. President, go ahead and deport our students, threaten their first-amendment rights, create an environment that deprives people of color, who struggle with disabilities, who don’t fit into “traditional” definitions of gender and sexuality, etc. with opportunities, etc.  Go ahead and do all this and we will stand by and watch and do nothing.”  By kowtowing to the demands of a bully, they secure their place within the system.

By remaining in a system that rules by threats and intimidation, they have made themselves the cause of their own demise.  What is true of every oppressive system is true here. By letting the bully win, you have already lost.

On both an individual and macrocosmic level, the path to escaping oppression begins with one single word, and that word is NO. Just say no! To the universities and other institutions receiving orders from the current administration that are accompanied by threats, just say no! Say no to ICE raids. Say no to the elimination of your DEI programs (or maintain the programming and call it something else!  DUH!). Say no to threats against the right to free speech, including the right to protest and peaceful assembly. When threatened with the withholding of federal student loan and grant funding, come together with other educational institutions and file a class-action lawsuit against the president. JUST SAY NO!

The same goes for each and every one of us. We live in a nation in which we have been given certain rights and in which these rights are said to be guaranteed. Stand up for those rights. Say no to threats and intimidation. Say no to those things that threaten the rights of others.


Under patriarchy we lose:

  •   Access to our own inner authority.
  •   Freedom to discern our own truth and choose our own path.
  •  Belief in ourselves as loveable for exactly who we are without having to seek after acceptance or approval.
  • The power of our own executive functioning as seen in our relentless search for a savior.

In this six-week course, we will explore the ways in which we have been imprisoned by the patriarchy and the subtle ways in which this imprisonment is experienced.

Join Our Global Community

Sanctuary: a place of refuge or safety.

Humanity is participating in and bearing witness to a powerful transition in an evolution of itself and the way it chooses to live and interact on this planet.  At first glance it may appear as if empires are collapsing. Gazing beyond the collapse we behold the new world being born. To navigate the crossroads of the old world dying and the new world birthing, we are called to be sanctuary for each other while cultivating and deepening our ability to be sanctuary for ourselves.

Sanctuary calls together and provides support for those called to be Love in a world troubled by division and hate.

Sanctuary bears witness to the destruction of fear-based institutions while being midwife to a new world seeking to be born.

Sanctuary seeks to uphold the dignity and rights of every human being, especially the most vulnerable and marginalized among us.

*If caring about the dignity, rights, and needs of others makes us “liberal” or “woke,” then so we are.


Global membership includes:

  • Live, monthly online gatherings starting May 2025
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The Heartbreak is Real

I shared the other day about living in the 13th dimension and how this often feels like living in two different worlds. Today I find myself very much in the density of the 3d world (the world of duality and separation) and in that density feeling deeply and profoundly sad.

While I (and many others) have known the collapse of the empire was coming, there is nothing that can prepare us for how truly brutal and heartbreaking that collapse would be. As the stock market lost another 2200 points Friday, I found myself in a state of panic that was truly not my own. I have zero savings and no investments, so I have nothing to lose when the market crashes. I suspect it is the empath in me that is feeling this impact as millions of people watch their retirement and investment accounts disintegrate. As I know nothing really about stocks, I can’t help but wonder if this is a really big “big short,” purposefully initiated to make billionaires even richer. Or if the goal is to absolutely destroy the American economy. Either/both feel likely. Combine this with the elimination of free-trade, and even the non-empathic part of me fears that an economic depression is upon us (who am I kidding….the depression is already here). This does not bode well for the poor or middle class. It’s likely not even good for the low to middle upper class.

Economics notwithstanding, my heart is breaking over the violence being done to immigrants (legal and non-legal), transgender youth and adults, student protestors exercising their right to free speech, and all those around the planet who are suffering under wartime violence that has been in-part supported by the United States (Gaza, Ukraine, Sudan, Yemen, to name a few). And in what universe is it appropriate to seek the expansion of American territories by seizing other people’s lands?

Further, there are the questions of human rights – most pointedly – those (supposedly) guaranteed by our Constitution. There are proposals in place that would effectively eliminate a married woman’s right to vote (for example). Rhetoric has been thrown around about certain men wanting women to have more babies – as if this is the sole purpose of a woman. It may interest many to know that The Handmaid’s Tale was not meant to be a work of prophecy. Yet here we are.

And don’t get me started on the “Christian Right.” When (Speaker of the House) Mike Johnson speaks, I can assure you he knows NOT what he speaks. If he has read the bible, he seems to have missed the point.

Finally, there’s the burning question about the system of checks and balances that we were taught to believe would keep illegal things from happening and would protect our Constitution. Until four senators voted against Trump’s tariffs and Cory Booker completed his record-breaking 25-hour filibuster, Congress and the Supreme Court have remained silent. It makes me wonder – are they all in on it? Whatever “it” is. I’ve also been wondering at the silence of past presidents. (Thank you President Obama for finally speaking out!)

It is a sad and tragic time for the United States, and, by association, for the rest of the world. I’m grateful for my international friends who continue to offer words of support, knowing and understanding that it is truly the minority of Americans who support what is happening politically and economically, and that the majority of us want something else from our country.

Whereas the American dream has always been a kind of a lie, there are deep truths buried underneath the biases of the founding fathers. As outlined in the Constitution of the United States:

  • A government by and for the people (all people).
  • Insuring a fair and impartial legal system (for ALL).
  • Seeking after and supporting peace.
  • Promoting the well-being of all its citizens (while advocating for the well-being of all people on this planet).
  • Securing liberty and freedom for ALL.
  • And protecting the rights of its citizens as outlined in the Bill of Rights.

Whereas these statements may originally have been intended only for white landowners, for 250 years these words have been a beacon of hope and provided a vision of potential for all the United States can and could be. Many (including myself) still believe in this implied vision and in the continued expansion of this vision to include all those who find their way to our shores, and every single human being living within the boundaries of our nation today. Until the rights of all are ensured and protected, then the United States is only a shell of what it could be – and an ugly shell at that. Shame on us if we allow the very few who hold the gold to strip away the rights that so many have died defending.

I am deeply saddened by what I am witnessing as the collapse of what our nation and the dream of what could have been. I also believe (wish/hope) that the dying we are currently observing is leading to the beginning of something better. I can envision the something better – all that the Constitution promises and then some – but in the meantime, my heart is breaking over all those who will be the unwitting carnage of the empire seemingly intent on destroying itself.

Living in the Thirteenth Dimension

Welcome to Lauri Woo Land!  This is where I share my experience with interdimensional living and the journey that allows us to “travel” from one plane of existence to another.

I typically leave these insights for those who have been teaching and speaking about ascension, starseeds, wayshowers, and dare I say aliens, long before I had the language to describe what I have seemingly always known. Since the beginning of March, and most especially the last few days, I have experienced an uptick in experiences and symptoms related to dimensional transitions that I felt I might share in case others in this community are feeling some of the same.

For the last many years, the new age and ascension communities have spoken at length about humanity’s evolution from third-dimensional beings to fifth-dimensional beings. Many have spoken of this evolution creating a split in the world – some remaining in 3d reality while others are choosing to migrate to 5d – the latter known in, and defined by, unity consciousness.

As demonstrated by the wisest among us, unity consciousness has always been available to humanity as it is our original and truest nature. Jesus and Mary Magdalene, the Buddha, Lao Tsu, Kuan Yin, and all the great Indigenous shamans and Indian gurus dwelt within unity consciousness and left behind teachings on how to access this level of consciousness ourselves.

Unity consciousness is nothing new, it has simply been forgotten or is ignored by much of humanity. Instead, human beings take the teachings of these great teachers and twist them to fit their own fear-filled agendas, preferring separation and division to the peace and love modeled by these great teachers.

Outside of unity consciousness, humanity has come to define their experience by fear and have sought power and control over others in an attempt to vanquish their fear. Instead of vanquishment, however, humanity has simply bred more fear.

Division is a choice. So too is Love. Harnessing the teachings and practices of Love modeled and left behind by these great teachers, we can transcend the fear that seems to define the human condition. The more Love we embrace, the more fear is released, and we are increasingly free to live in the heaven of unity consciousness instead of the hell of separation.

There are telltale signs that we are escaping the imprisonment of 3d (fear based) consciousness.  These are the signs I have been experiencing more frequently which suggest to me that escape velocity is approaching, allowing us, not to depart from the human experience, but to knowing a human experience in which fear no longer holds sway and in which Love becomes the Law (or rather, the Law of Love is restored).

Before I get into the signs – it is important to recognize that we are NOT leaving the human experience. Instead, we will be able to navigate human experience as objective witnesses while enjoying the fruitfulness of a Love-based world. I imagine it will be as if there are two worlds existing side by side – or rather one within the other. It’s kind of like Jesus when he spoke of the “Kingdom of God” being within us. He was able to live in the midst of the separation of the human world while maintaining composure and contentment and performing seemingly miraculous feats. (Were Jesus’ “miracles” actually miracles or the natural workings of a consciousness we have not yet attained? The yoga master Patanjali would suggest it was the latter).

For my entire life I have been applying the (original) teachings of Jesus, along with those of other spiritual masters, and I can attest to their efficacy. The healing and liberation I have experienced in my life cannot be understated. At the same time, these teachings have supported me in making peace with freedoms and liberties I have lost through trauma and chronic illness. (Those who say that ascension means the end of all sickness, etc. are wrong.)

I am a different person today than I was thirty years ago – rather, I’m more of my most authentic self. I’ve learned how to be vulnerable, to trust my intuition (gut) above all else, and to name and claim my boundaries. I’m breaking away from co-dependency, caretaking and my wound-based need to fix things. Those imbedded in the 3d world might say I’m an asshole because the rules to which they ascribe no longer apply to me. (PS  people thinking you’re an asshole is a HUGE sign that you are escaping 3d consciousness).

With that, let’s get on with the signs that you are successfully traveling away from separation consciousness toward unity consciousness and beyond.

  1. People think you are an asshole for setting boundaries (saying no to those things which are not life-giving to you).
  2. You are able to observe the conflict of the human experience without needing to react. You can observe it, perhaps feeling sad, frustrated, or disappointed in human beings, but are able to rise above it.
  3. You often find yourself misunderstood. No matter the effort or the words you use, people cannot grasp what you are trying to say – except others living from Love.
  4. You have compassion for all of humanity – even those whose actions you don’t especially like. You can look past their actions to the fear or unhealed wound that would cause them to act in non-loving ways.
  5. You have experiences of feeling invisible or of people not hearing you. You have even had experiences of the majority of human beings having zero awareness that you are even here on this plane.
  6. No matter how hard you try or what time you put in, you find yourself unable to “succeed” in 3d terms. Perhaps “real” jobs elude you. Maybe you can’t catch a financial break. You may suffer from unexplainable illnesses that make it difficult if not impossible for you to hold a “real” job.
  7. You find yourself becoming ill when engaging in the 3d world. (For example, if I read the news or fall down the rabbit hole of American politics, I feel anxious, distracted, dissociating, and sick. Too much time on social media does the same).
  8. You have lost interest in the 3d world. (this is different than depression).  For me, this disinterest is manifesting in a feeling of “being done.” I’m done trying to convince people to be Love, or that there is another way to live. I’m done warning 3d humans of what is to come. I tried. No one listened. Now they are suffering the consequences of their actions. (I am one to say, “I told you so!”)
  9. You feel detached from humanity’s choice to continue living in separation and the consequences of those choices.
  10. You feel as if you are here with and for those who want to be Love. You also feel content to let others continue to choose separation.
  11. You feel as if you are living in another world.
  12. You find yourself with a close company of “weird” friends who understand Love and also want to be Love in the world.
  13. You no longer care if others think you’re weird.
  14. You feel truly seen by those who have also chosen Love.

Living beyond 3d consciousness is not the whoo-whoo/la la that many make it out to be. It is not rainbows and unicorns. Neither is it necessarily bliss. Instead, it is the ability to be witness to the human experience with all its imperfections and tragedies and not be destroyed by it. It is the ability to hold on to Love no matter how much we are tempted to hate. It is the willingness to accept responsibility for our unhealed wounds and the actions that might still come from our own place of fear. It is the ability to show up every moment of every day to our practice, returning again and again and again to Source when the human experience of separation tries to pull us away. Living beyond 3d consciousness is loving but it is also fierce. Those still living in 3d consciousness might despise us because every minute we remain in Unity we are showing them that there is another way. They know what they would have to give up in choosing Love over fear. Few are willing to take that risk. And yet, for those called to Unity, we have no other choice. It is indeed what we are here for – to return to unity consciousness and to show humanity there is another way.

Heads in the Sand

The plague of collective sloth.

Never in my life have I been blindly obedient to anyone or anything. Never have I given blind allegiance to an outside perceived authority. Not once have I offered someone my respect until it has been earned. In no case did I consider someone an authority simply because they said they were or because they were appointed to a so-called position of authority.

Throughout my entire life, I have used the brain I was given to reason and discern what was true and question that which felt suspect. I have always been one to question the “hows” of things, but more importantly the “whys.” For example: Why would an unconditionally loving “God” cast anyone into hell?  Why would an unconditionally loving “God” who made us have need or use of a hell? How is it that Jesus had to “die for our sins?” What kind of God murders his own son whom he loves? (These are just the religious questions!)

As you can imagine, adults (still today) either love me for demonstrating intelligence and reasoning through my questioning or despise me for pointing out the obvious lack of reasoning in some of humanity’s most cherished beliefs. I have always been like the little boy who cried, “The Emperor has no clothes,” much to the chagrin of “the emperors” among us and those who benefit from the perceived authority’s authority.

My natural ability to see through bullshit is both a gift and a curse. I would not, however, have it any other way. Having this ability has kept me (mostly) safe from those who might seek to harm and has kept me on the path of truth – both my own, and that of the bigger T Truth.

Having personal experience of the benefits of critical thinking, reasoning, and discernment, I find myself continually befuddled by those who choose none of these while allowing some outside perceived (often self-appointed) authority to think for them – telling them what to believe and how to live. I can understand this in people who were never given a chance to learn or who were never empowered in their own abilities to reason. I do not understand it is people who have been given every opportunity to cultivate critical thinking skills and choose not to use them.

It’s bad enough which it’s a stranger, your employer, your teacher, or pastor, it’s even worse when it’s someone you know personally and who you might otherwise respect were it not for their refusing to see what is right in front of their face for they have buried their head in the sand and given away their own personal power and executive functioning to a cult of manipulation and lies. When inviting an honest inquiry – seeking to understand why they believe as they do and their answer is “I support everything ____________does and says,” with no explanation, you know they’re done for. They have chosen the plague of collective sloth and from this there is no return.

I don’t get it!  Why would anyone give up their own power of critical thinking? Why would someone give their power over to another? How can someone not see the corruption or lies staring them in the face?

Because they don’t want to. It is easier to look the other way, allowing someone else to think and make decisions for you than to reason for yourself. It is easier to let someone tell you what to believe than uncover your own beliefs. Life is easier when we take the blue pill and its illusions than to step into the illusion-shattering world of the red. With the blue pill, we don’t have to think, or even act, we just do what we’re told, buying into the system built by the illusions, allowing ourselves to be sheep who would walk off the edge of a cliff if we were told to do so by our own appointed “Messiahs.” The blue pill allows us to continue to believe in the so-called “American Dream” while liberties, freedoms, safety, and protection are being hastily torn from our grasp. (If you think it’s only immigrants or transgender people who are losing freedoms, you aren’t paying attention – the freedom-robbers are coming for you next!)

Collective sloth allows us to remain within the dream of belonging to the privileged group even as the privileged group looks down their nose at us. More than anything, however, collective sloth allows us to remain in the place of blamelessness. Even when it all goes to hell, those suffering from sloth will never recognize their culpability in the collapse. Instead, they will simply say, “I was only doing what I was told.” 

Those of us who have not lived with our heads in the sand will know better. The collapse of an empire and the end of freedoms will ultimately impact all but the very few. And we will all know who is to blame – those who chose to look away, those who chose to ignore the obvious, those who supported and then defended the deceivers, and those who to this day are keeping their heads in the sand because they would rather hang on to their illusion of privilege than see that the emperor and his entire staff has no clothes.

When Reaching Across the Divide Fails

Regardless of the chasm that seems to separate human beings from each other, I continue to believe that we have more in common with each other than not. I have been shown this time and time again when I have reached out to those who appear to believe differently than I – whether that belief be about religion, politics, or any other things to which humans cling tightly. Granted, my reaching out is mostly toward those I already know and trust and who I believe can enter into civil discourse. (In building a bridge, I reserve the right to also keep myself safe from those who have no desire to be civil.) In the past I have shared my experiences of reaching across the divide and the positive results of doing so.  I learned new things, as did those toward whom I reached. We discovered common ground and learned that we could honor and respect each other’s differences. Friendship and love prevailed.

Sadly, yesterday I experienced something not so positive. A comment was made on one of my FB threads by someone I thought I knew well and with whom I share common blood. I was not surprised by their comment that demonstrated a dramatically different perception than my own. Because of my love and respect for this person, I did not challenge them on FB. Instead, I reached out privately in the spirit of inquiry and discovery. I simply wanted to learn. I explained I had no interest in changing their mind or confronting their views.  I simply wanted to understand why they believed that way. I used every skill I know to assure them my intentions were not violent, but were open and welcoming. Sadly, their response was no response. Crickets.

I cannot guess at their reason for not responding. All I can be is sad that they were not willing to meet with me across the perceived divide. A profound opportunity was lost in their refusal to engage. I suspect that if they had been willing to enter into a civil conversation, we would have learned that we are more alike in our beliefs than different and that we could honor and respect each other for where we differ.

There is nothing more I can do to invite conversation with this individual, but this illustrates to me the perfect example of where we find ourselves as human beings. No matter where humans reside geographically, it seems they have dug their heels in and crossed their arms over their individual beliefs and against those of others. We need look no further than the debacle of American politics or the wars over Gaza and Ukraine to see examples of human beings refusing to reach across the divide. Attached to being right, maintaining control, and acquiring perceived power and wealth, humanity stands with arms crossed and hearts closed.

Again, I find this incredibly sad. Division will never be healed or common ground established as long as our hearts are closed. While others may not be willing or able to uncross their arms for the purpose of entering into deep listening to another, I am, and I will continue to reach out when and where it’s appropriate because I am willing to learn, I know I don’t know everything, I can accept being wrong. I’m not attached to any specific belief except that defined and lived by Love and I’d rather reach across the divide than turn my back on friends and loved ones who might believe differently than I.

Letting Life Run Its Course

As human beings, we are hard-wired for control. We seek after, grasp, and cling to control in an attempt to make ourselves feel safe. We are especially vigilant in these attempts when life places uncertainty before us.

We are living in uncertain times. We don’t have to look far to see the ways in which the collective human species is grasping after control. Neither do we have to look deep to see the ways in which we, ourselves, are equally seeking after control.

The reality is that control is an illusion and the formula that suggests control equals safety is a bold-faced lie. In fact, the opposite is true: the quicker way to peace and contentment (ie: safety) is to completely let go of control and let life run its course.

Letting go of the compulsion to grasp after control is exactly the posture I am taking at this point in both our collective as well as my own individual journey. This is a posture that demands a bit of trust/faith, but even more so, it requires diligence.

Diligence is the ability to make a commitment and stick with it. Diligence demands discipline and persistence. As an imperfect individual who at times is excruciatingly human, it is easy to fall off course – to lose my sense of commitment and become distracted by externals which attempt to trigger my fears. Self-awareness supports me in knowing when I have strayed from my committed path and lost the inner peace that comes in letting things take their course. Diligence puts me back on the path and leads me back to the peace of letting go.

Let me give you an example from my own life.  At this point in my journey, I am acutely aware of certain things coming to an end (or at the very least dramatically changing). These things provide the financial resources for my basic needs including shelter and food. Interestingly two of these things seem to be ending at exactly the same time. Together they provide for 80% of my current income. YIKES.

In the past, the imminent collapse of income would have freaked me out.  I would have been bombarding the internet with information on my programs and services, hastily applying for jobs, losing sleep over worry, and likely experiencing break-through panic. Yes, I am aware of the anxiety that threatens to shove me off course, but my response to that anxiety is to hold my ground. Life has taught me that when something leaves, it is only creating room for something better to take its place. Life has also taught me that I am being provided for – maybe not through the accumulation of wealth, but through exactly what I need IN THIS MOMENT. While life has called me to be creative, it has never really let me down. I don’t know what will be and I am not being given a glimpse. I do know that I will be ok, and even if I’m not, I will be fine. If nothing else, life has taught me resilience. (as one friend recently said, this is one word I too would like to retire!!!!!)

But, how do I know? How can I be sure? How can I let life take its course when it sometimes looks like complete and utter collapse is pending?

In a word:  PRACTICE. PRACTICE. PRACTICE.

Every moment of every single day is a practice. Are we at peace or in a state of panic or confusion? If the latter, I turn to my practice. When it’s the former, I remain in my practice. Returning again and again and again to the practices that help me maintain peace, equanimity and to meet life from a place of wisdom.

When the shit hits the fan, and I am overwhelmed with life, the world, my own unhealed wounds, I turn within and if that fails, I turn toward (that which some might call) God. Just yesterday, I was begging “God/Self” for relief. Then I asked for healing, letting go of my need to avert the inner pain I was feeling, and let Life/God take its course.

This is how it is with our world. As the world around us writhes in its death throes, seeking to trigger our fears and we are tempted to grasp after control, the only thing we can really do is let the events take their course. When not immersed in the detailed actions of the pretenders in office and the silence of the supposed balances and checks, I see a bigger picture. Something new trying to be born. As this new is coming forth, it is breaking apart the lies upon which the world has been built and showing us where there are kinks in the chain. As the new is coming forth, that which has long basked in their illusion of power and control are freaking out. Their fear of losing power is driving them to grasp, wrestle, tantrum, cling and rage. As we would do for any other toddler, let them rage. As they are not ours to protect or save, we let them tantrum. Eventually, they will either grow tired or destroy themselves. Then there will be room for the emotionally mature grown ups to step in, clear away the debris, and start the building of something new.

In the meantime, it is our job to stand back, allowing Life run it’s course.


If you are struggling to maintain peace during these uncertain times, I can help. Through one-on-one mentoring, I can support you with practices that help us to reclaim peace and clear the inner wounds we carry that stand in the way of our knowing peace.

Email: lauri@lauriannlumby.com to learn more.

Hold the Line

These are the words that keep dancing around in my head. As we are continuing to be witness to the collapse of the world as we have known it, these are important words to remember.

Love does not come in our time.  Love comes in “God’s” time. We are not in charge of the unfolding of current events. Instead, we are witnesses and Love-bearers.

As witnesses our job is to watch, observe, and hold space for all the many faces of grief we will experience in the face of the death-throes of the patriarchy. As Love-bearers, we are meant to observe the unfolding from a place of non-judgment and detachment.

Love is universal. All are made by and for Love. Even (especially) those we perceive to be living a life contrary to Love. Jesus said “Love thy neighbor,” and “Pray for your enemies.”  Our neighbors are those we perceive to be like us. Our enemies – well, we know who they are. We are called to Love them – one and all.

I know, easier said than done. When we watch humans being cruel toward each other, treating one another with disrespect, acting as if some are deserving of liberties and others are not, it is hard.

When it is hard, we are called to pray for ourselves.  “Help me in my unbelief.” “Forgive them, they know not what they do.” “Into your hands I commend my spirit.”  “Teach me how to Love.”

All are wounded seeking to be free. Some know they are wounded and are seeking their own healing. Most aren’t even aware they’re wounded and are simply acting out of those wounds.

Love one another. Pray for each other’s healing.

And don’t interfere. It is said “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”  The same is true of humans. The difference between horses and humans is that humans can’t even be led. All we can do is our own work of being Love in the world and being that Love more fully. Sometimes, our presence awakens others to the Love within themselves, and to the invitation to knowing that Love. Sometimes our presence pisses people off. Neither is within our control. It’s not personal. It’s none of our business.

Each of our names are written on the palm of God’s hands. Our lives are written in Her book. If you are reading this, you are here simply for the purpose of Love. Be that Love and live from that Love and that is all you need to know.

Hold the line. The Love that you are is always on time.


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