Inspiration

Does the Universe Have a Plan?

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

I’m starting right off with all the caveats to what I’m about to write.  Yes, my observations could be 100% white, ableist privilege. They may also be (a term I recently learned) confirmation bias. Or I’m naïve, thrive on wishful thinking, or believe in magic. Any and all of this and more are possibly true.

HOWEVER

Every ancient spiritual text, including the Tao te Ching, the Torah, and Christian scripture seem to agree on one thing: the Universe (aka God) has a plan, and that our lives flow more peacefully and with more ease when we align ourselves with that plan and surrender to it.

BUT HOW DO WE DO THIS?

The Tao says (in so many words) that whatever is happening RIGHT NOW is the plan. Zen teachings say something similar. The present moment just is, and it is a part of the constant unfolding of the Universes’ becoming. We are part of that becoming.

To put it in theistic terms, God/Goddess/Source is experiencing itself in every possible way through every expression of creation – from the smallest atom to entire universes. We are God expressing God’s Self in the unique creation we were made to be. Cells being cells, trees being trees, humans being humans – all are part of the unfolding/becoming of Source with a destination that is infinite and timeless, perhaps even unlimited. (we are NOT getting into the topic of entropy here!).

This brings us to the unanswerable question. Is this unfolding of Source random (chaos theory) or is there an intelligence that drives that unfolding.

I tend to lean in the direction of the latter – that there is an unknowable intelligence driving this unfolding, and that this intelligence knows exactly what it is doing in its becoming/expressing. I have also come to believe (or chosen to believe) that this intelligence is benevolent and desires the highest good for its expressions of self.

But what does highest good mean? In the psychology of Sri Aurobindo, (and similarly in the Kabbalah) each of us are here for the purpose of learning and growth. Each life we live serves the learning and growth of the Soul which in turn influences our subsequent lives. The human journey is like being cast out to sea so that we can find our own way home. We experience ourselves as separate from Source so that we might have a unique human journey, all the while trying to find our way back to Source. As if journeying down a funnel, each life brings us closer and closer to complete reunion with Source.

We are not, however, cast out to sea without guidance or equipment. Instead, there is a plan for the journey along with a plan for our return. Accounting for freewill, the plan is loose. We can go along with the plan, or we can stray from it. We can surrender to the plan, or we can resist. Surrendering to the plan may include loss, sorrow, betrayal, and pain; but in finding acceptance we experience comfort. Resistance causes suffering. The human journey is not meant to be easy as growth requires struggle. We can, however, choose to make the journey a bit easier on ourselves by trusting in and surrendering to the plan.

BUT WHAT IS THE DAMN PLAN? This is the burning question to which we will never likely receive an answer. Instead, we are left only with what ancient wisdom seems to agree upon:

There is a plan. The plan is in this moment. Trust in and surrender to the plan.

This is where I find myself today. (let’s ground this thing…shall we!?).  For the past thirty-one years, I thought I understood the plan. I received a calling that I followed. I pursued education and training in that field. I’ve been doing the work in any and all ways I could figure out. I’ve made changes where needed. I’ve adapted to different audiences. I’ve networked myself to death. Now it seems I’ve reached the end of the trail with nothing in front of me except for the VOID. Every effort comes up flat and lifeless and I’m all out of ideas. I could continue to beat this (seemingly) dead horse, or I can just sit my ass down at the end of the trail until something shows itself. I know, from previous experience that attempting anything else will only leave me beaten and bloody. So instead:

I anchor myself in this present moment and trust that the Universe is taking me somewhere, it’s just not yet ready to show me. Or maybe, I just go to sleep knowing the Universe is carrying me to wherever I’m next meant to be.

And just to prove my point: this was my first week off since January. I had great plans on what to do with this time – including searching job postings to help fill some financial needs. Instead, the Universe intervened. Instead of allowing me to get in my own way by not trusting the plan and surrendering to Tao, the Universe gave me a case of the feverish creeping crud. I could do nothing that I had planned for the week except writhe in misery while trying to find something entertaining to watch on TV. Ugh.

Another thing I’ve learned, when we turn away from surrender and attempt to control the plan, we get our ass handed to us. May as well let go and surrender even (especially) when we have no idea of the plan.  It’s just easier that way!  

Finally: a little inspiration from my favorite band, The Osmonds, from their album THE PLAN!

I’m not sure if this, or any of my other trainings will be part of “the plan.” My Magdalene training is available now as are any of my other Magdalene-themed courses. Click on the button below to learn more:

Magdalene Courses

Charlatans and Chicanery

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 4 Comments

“In what kind of hellscape are we living? A dear friend asked me this question in response to all the insane things we are watching unfold in our world. As she asked this question, I was immediately reminded of the ridiculous spectacle of the Blue Origin “Space Flight” that took place on Monday this week (4/14/25). To quote Moira Donegan from The Guardian:

“There are some spectacles of US decadence and decline that almost seem too on the nose – the sort of orgies of vulgar provocation or fantastic lack of self-awareness that exceed the limits of parody, so that if they were in a novel, you’d think the writer was laying it on a little thick.” 

This was that!

As a stand-alone spectacle, the Blue Origin flight is just another in a long line of ridiculous ventures put on by and for the extremely wealthy – this time in an effort to display “female empowerment.” PLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEE.  If we wanted to demonstrate female empowerment, we would laud the efforts of every single woman who has ever been part of the space program, including and not limited to actual female astronauts! I don’t know about you but neither Katy Perry nor Gayle King in a designer unitard inspires feminine pride in me. Instead, it simply fuels my disgust for women who have and continue to be complicit in a patriarchal system that seeks only to keep them beautiful, but silent and useless, like a trophy. GROSS. Additionally, it fuels my disgust with complicit men who further this kind of false celebration of women which in reality is a kind of degradation. Disgusting!

Trophies aside, the Blue Origin flight does serve as the perfect example and metaphor for an issue that has been plaguing me for years.  This is the issue of charlatans and chicanery. 

Let’s start with a couple definitions:

Charlatan: a person falsely claiming to have a special knowledge or skill; a fraud.

Chicanery: clever, dishonest talk or behavior that is used to deceive people:

Charlatans and tricksters have been with us always. Lately, however, it seems they are coming out of the woodwork. From self-appointed gurus, to “reality” stars, to so-called healers, to “miracle” cures and their salespeople, to Oprah-appointed “experts,” and all the way to the White House (cue Hail to the Chief). Just this week, the so-called U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services spouted a barrage of dangerous misinformation regarding autism. As an attorney, he has none of the training or knowledge to speak on this topic in any sort of legitimate way – and yet, here he is – acting like an expert and proclaiming himself as being the one who is going to save the world from autism. For the record: autism is NOT a disease and it is NOT something from which we need saving!

I don’t know what it is about American culture that makes us so vulnerable to charlatans and their chicanery. Are we unintelligent? Do we have no discernment? Are we so dissatisfied with our lives that we’ll accept anything that makes us feel (temporarily) better– no matter how untrue or dangerous it might be? It’s a conundrum.

As self-righteous as I want to be around the topic of charlatans, I have not been immune. I too have fallen into the trap of giving away my power to outside perceived authorities, so-called healers, and psychics (for example) because I felt vulnerable or was looking for answers to desperate questions. I have also fallen into their trap because I was lured by their appearance of success. If the object is shiny and pretty, it must be good….right?

As the adage goes, “appearances can be deceiving.”  This is especially true of charlatans. They know how to make themselves look good.  They know what words to use to make them appear an expert. They know exactly how to cloak reality (lack of credentials, education, etc.) and twist the truth to make themselves appear better than they are.  I know of several, for example, who present themselves as healers, even calling themselves “doctor” while having ZERO medical training. It’s like the woman I confronted a few years back who was calling herself a “Spiritual Director.”  Having completed the three-year training program required to practice as a “Spiritual Director,” I was confused as I was certain she had not completed any training of this nature. When I inquired about where she did her training she replied, “the angels taught me.” Um……NO!  To quote Monty Python:

“Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.”

Farcical ceremonies notwithstanding, charlatans exist in our world, and they are here not to help, but to harm. Even those, like the Blue Origin passengers, who might believe their motivations are good, are ultimately doing harm by believing their own lie in playing a role for which they have not been adequately trained.  One is not an astronaut simply because they flew in a rocket. Neither is one a “doctor” simply because they call themselves one. “Gurus” are not self-appointed, and enlightenment doesn’t cost a dime!

Do your due diligence. When looking for a teacher, a guide, a healer, or someone to lead a nation, seek out those with true learning, proper certification, and the education and experience to back up their claims. A shiny (or loud) object does not an expert make!

To be clear: I have a masters degree in transpersonal psychology but am not a licensed therapist. I completed a 7 year training program in theology, adult education and spiritual direction. As an ordained minister I am legally allowed to call myself a “spiritual counselor” but this is not the same as a licensed therapist. I provide counsel, support, and guidance for people through many stages of life including loss, death, divorce, empty nest, diagnoses, midlife etc. Many who seek my support are looking for support in finding peace in a troubled world and finding meaning and purpose in their lives.

Why Do We Celebrate Christmas?

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

This morning while standing in line at the grocery store, the checkout man explained to me that the reason we celebrate Christmas is because “Jesus died for us.” I smiled and nodded, allowing him his personal beliefs while disagreeing with every fiber of my being.

What I always learned and what is true for me is that we celebrate Christmas, not because of Jesus’ death, but because of his birth. Isn’t that why we decorate with nativity sets and sing songs of joy?  Never do we sing about Jesus’ suffering and death on Christmas. Instead, we sing only about his birth – and the great miracle that Mary and Joseph agreed to bring forth in the birth of their son.

I do not believe that Jesus came into the world to die. Neither do I believe his suffering and death was for the sake of our sins, or the forgiveness of our sins. First off, to believe this, I would have to believe that there is such a thing as sin from which we need God’s forgiveness.  If God truly loves us without condition, then what is there to forgive? Yes, we need to forgive ourselves of the shame brought forth from our non-loving actions and we need to do the work of healing from the non-loving actions done to us by others, but nowhere in this do I believe God standing in judgment or condemnation.

Christmas, to me, should be a time of celebration – a time to give honor to a man (and the loving people around him that helped to form him) who came to know his own Oneness with God and in that Oneness, came to know peace. This man, then went on to teach others “the way” to this Union. This was the Truth about which Jesus taught and by which he lived his own life.

It is this Truth that we celebrate on Christmas – the Light that sets us free from the suffering and fear that are the consequences of choosing the human condition. In choosing this Light we are able to navigate the horrors and tribulations of the human experience and still find peace. When we are disturbed by the terrors of this world, through this Light we can see beyond the limitations of our fears and into God’s greater plan, and maybe find comfort. Through this Light we are able to be compassion and mercy for ourselves, and for others. We are able to exercise kindness, understanding, and to celebrate the great diversity of all that God has made.

These are my prayers for you as you celebrate Christmas (or whatever you celebrate this blessed season): That you too may know Love, experience the Light, embody Truth, and like Jesus, become a beacon of Peace and Kindness in a world in such desperate need.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays with Love,

Lauri

What if there was no sin?

Into the Wilderness supports you in unraveling and healing from the conditioning that taught you to believe in sin, and that God’s love has to be earned or could be taken away.

  • Heal from shame.
  • Learn how “sin” is merely a symptom of something deeper in need of healing.
  • Learn to love yourself.
Learn more HERE

Peace is an Act of Rebellion

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

We live in a world that is driven by fear and thrives on chaos. Conflict and violence have become so much a part of life that entire economies are based on the lucrative business of war. Entire family systems have been defined by the abuse they inflict and then inhabit. The relationship paradigms we have been sold are rooted in codependency and hierarchical control. Our educational systems have lost their focus on learning and are now directed toward a definition of success that is rooted in a competition to acquire the most wealth, power, and fame. Careers are no longer centered in the search for meaningful and fulfilling work which helps to provide what a society needs to survive and thrive, but are instead geared toward making billionaires richer.

Fear, chaos, conflict, competition, violence, and abuse have become so much a part of our lives that we have come to believe that all of this is not only normal, but healthy. We shrug our shoulders and walk away when anyone dare question this status quo. “It is what it is,” we hear people say. Or things like: “it’s just how things are done, it’s what we’ve always known, I have to make a living…” And if anyone dare to offer another possibility – a life, for example, that might be peaceful, gentle, and full of ease, that person becomes a pariah – accused of being a “commie” or just plain insane.

Chaos, conflict, competition, and violence are a choice. It is one the vast majority of humanity has been making for five thousand years or more. But in the same way that conflict is a choice, so too is peace. Contrary to popular belief based on centuries of conditioning, we have the power to choose peace over conflict, collaboration over competition, ease over chaos, and gentleness over violence. But more often we don’t.  And we have to ask ourselves why.

The answer is simple. Choosing peace is an act of rebellion. When we choose peace, we are putting every single system based on fear, power, and control in question. When we choose ease, we are disturbing the status quo. When we disturb the status quo, we become a threat to those who benefit from a system based in fear, power, and control. And when we choose to be gentle, we are challenging all those who have come to belief conflict and competition are not only normal, but necessary.

Choosing peace strikes terror in the hearts of those who either benefit from fear, power, and control, or who believe that nothing else could possibly be true.

As a culture/species, we are addicted to conflict and chaos. For many, the idea of peace threatens this addiction. Because of their addiction, they seek more and more of what gives them a charge. Perhaps they know nothing other than trauma, so to them this feels normal. Maybe they are fueled by anger and resentment. Giving someone permission to choose peace threatens the drug to which they have become accustomed.

Choosing peace is an act of rebellion because of all that is threatened by this choice. AND, there is a way for humanity to choose peace, but it first has to recognize its addiction to violence (physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and spiritual violence), and take the critical steps in healing that violence. As that violence becomes healed, and the charge of addiction overcome, it is there that humanity will find its peace. In finding that peace, humanity will wonder, “What the heck was wrong with me that I would choose violence over this?” Choosing peace then becomes the thing that is most valued and what humanity would choose again and again over the violence it has previously come to know.

Choosing peace is an act of rebellion, and it begins with a dream. Dream with me!

Enough

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

I’ve given enough to this life

with its contests and challenges.

In these almost sixty years

I’ve given it all for humanity’s sake.

Now I want to give to myself.

Giving to myself all that life took from me.

First, I give myself peace –

the peace I never knew living in the midst of

other people’s wars.

Second, I give myself solitude –

free from the grasping and clawing grip

of other people’s need.

Third, I give myself ease –

Victorian parlor woman ease

where life never asks more of me

than to read and write and dream.

Fourth, I give myself love –

the kind of love that says,

“To simply be is enough.”

copyright Lauri Ann Lumby

Breathe

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Breathe deep and exhale.

Breathe as you’ve never breathed before.

Breathe into your soul’s longing

and

let

it

go.

Breathe into your worries and

set

them

free.

Breathe into your shattered and broken heart

that

it

may

find

comfort.

Breathe into your mind that

it

may

find

ease.

Breathe into this moment and receive it –

with open arms free of judgment

and the temptation to define.

Breathe all the way to the

soles

of

your

feet

That roots might sprout deeply into the earth

anchoring you in quietude and peace.

copyright Lauri Ann Lumby

The Desert of Aging

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

The pursuit of my youth has run itself out.

Wrung out of me like the color of my hair –

Chestnut curls bleeding out leaving only silver behind.

The force of my womb gone silent.

No longer pining after love or yearning for partnership

as the potentials for life have lost their plump luster.

Raisins where there once were pearls.

Youthful excitement – the once greening branches of optimism

now bone dry and fragile like the skeleton

that formerly provided pliable and safe structure for my flesh.

Flesh that was once even, tight, and smooth,

now pock-marked and deflated –

a balloon punctured by the harsh betrayal of life’s refusals.

A boneyard of dreams turned to dust.

No refreshing rains fall in the desert of aging.

Here we turn away from our dreams and toward a friendship with Death.

Death is coming for us even as we cling to our dreams,

reminding us of the wisdom we‘ve gained,

the growth we’ve attained, and all the ways we’ve loved.

This – more than any imagined meaning or purpose – is why we’re actually here.

In releasing the pursuits of our youth,

this we’re able to remember:

the wisdom we’ve gained and all the ways we’ve loved.

The Year of Letting Go

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 1 Comment

As we approach the gateway between 2023 and the new year, I can’t help but reflect. Looking back on 2023, it seems that for me, this was a year of letting go.  These are the things I released in 2023:

  • A few more toxic relationships.
  • Begging, wishing, and pleading for other peoples’ time and attention.
  • The idea that my mission or purpose are anything other than simply being myself – what ever and no matter what I’m doing.
  • The belief that what I do in the world defines me or that I am defined by my work.
  • The hope that my work in the world would garner attention, notoriety, fame, or wealth.
  • The wish for a love outside of myself. If I can’t love myself, then there is nothing outside of me that will make me feel loved.
  • Goal setting:  What’s the point of setting goals when the universe is in charge anyway!?
  • The last remnants of the illusion that I am in any way, shape, or form, the master or creator of my destiny.
  • Time spent giving my attention (and money) to any outside perceived authorities. If I cannot discern my own truth, or face life as it comes to me, I am doomed!
  • The desire to convince anyone of anything ever.
  • Giving a shit about anything that human beings do to themselves. Go ahead, be the source of your own extinction – I can no longer care because caring puts me into the trap of thinking I can change it. Humans have been destroying themselves for 10,000 years. My little self is not going to change that. Accepting human beings as their self-destructive selves and getting the fuck out of their way, gives me peace.
  • Wishing for change. All we have is THIS PRESENT MOMENT. Be at peace with that!
  • Taking responsibility for other people’s shit or the solving of that shit. Sure, I’m happy to share some tools with you – but YOU HAVE TO USE THEM! Also, my prayers are not going to enact some sort of miracle or divine intervention for a situation you chose yourself, or is part of the plan for your life. Stop giving me that much power along with the weight of your expectations. Instead – DO SOMETHING to change or heal yourself!
  • Believing that I am an asshole for setting boundaries. I’ve learned that the more we (especially as women) stand up for ourselves, our safety, and our needs, the more the world hates us. Go ahead, hate me…..I DO NOT CARE!
  • The idea that I have anything to teach anyone or that I, in fact, know a single damn thing. In the vast mystery of the universe, how can I know anything? (though if you state something about Mary Magdalene as fact without supporting scholarly evidence, I will call you out – because I’m that asshole.)
  • Finally, years ago I gave up new year’s resolutions and for these many years I’ve maintained that letting go. What I will do is continue being a broken, flawed, fragile, vulnerable, wounded, sometimes angry and self-righteous, presence of love in the world.

How about you?