Mission/Purpose/Calling

Embracing Fallow Times

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

In the natural world, there are cycles to all living things. A seed finds its way to the soil. The nutrients of the soil combined with the sun and rain support germination and growth. The plant flowers and eventually bears fruit. Then the plant either enters a state of dormancy, or the plant dies. Some plants are made to live only one growing season. Others return each year to bear flower and fruit. Some return every other year. And a rare few enter a dormant period for many years, while some require drastic states of nature for germination and growth. The seeds of the Giant Sequoia, for example, only germinate after they have been subjected to fire, and many desert plants sequester underground, often for many years, until the rain comes.

Written in the DNA of every living thing is the cycle of its natural life – a time to live and a time to die, a time to work and a time to rest. The same is true of human beings, especially as it relates to the gifts (fruits) we bring to our lived experience. In the same way that our life has a beginning and an end, so too do our cycles of productivity and creativity.

In a world in which we are conditioned to believe that our value is dependent upon our productivity, when we find ourselves in fallow times, we are prone to judging ourselves and forcing ourselves to produce and create. The harder we work to produce, the more frustrated we become and the more our creativity suffers. Like the fruit of a plant, our creative contributions to the human experience cannot be forced. Whether our creative contribution is parenthood, painting, teaching, counseling, writing, singing, speaking, managing, organizing, healing, providing service, administrating, craftsmanship, or any other outward form of producing, it cannot be forced. This is especially true in the times we are meant to lie dormant.

Dormancy most often comes after times of intensive output – times in which we have been actively producing. As is true of nature, dormancy can also follow times of enormous stress or after we’ve suffered trauma. Like a plant that has finished its growing season, or that has been traumatized by the violence of nature (flood, drought, etc.), we need time to rest and recover before we are able to produce again.

Contrary to our capitalistic conditioning, fallow times are not bad. Instead, they are deeply necessary for our own health and for the good of humanity and the planet. When fallow times present themselves, we do ourselves good by surrendering to them – which I know is quite difficult.

To embrace and receive the fruits of our own periods of dormancy, we need to undo all the conditioning that has told us our value is based on our productivity. We have to exorcise ourselves of the messages that suggest that in surrendering to dormancy, we are being lazy, that we might be depressed, or that there is something wrong with us and with our inaction. We have to silence the voices both outside of us and in our own heads that insist that doing nothing is wrong.

During times of dormancy, the only task required of us is to simply be. To be with the inaction. To endure the naysaying. To dive into our discomfort. To resist the pressure to do and allow our souls the precious time they need to rest and restore. Only in surrendering to the fallow time do the seeds of new life that are waiting within us receive the nourishment and energy they need to come forth in their own divinely-ordained time – and not a second before. In embracing our fallow times, we are providing the foundation upon which our next cycle of life will bloom vibrantly and abundantly – if only we have the patience and trust to wait.

Waiting to Exhale

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

At the risk of becoming political, I must acknowledge the palpable collective energy of angst. For myself, this angst is presenting itself as a sense of caution along with a need to draw inward and sequester myself from the world, the news, other human beings, really any sort of engagement. When life requires that I do go out into the world, I feel the collective trepidation while also witnessing an increase in erratic and even violent behavior in my fellow human beings. Those who are empathic as I am have turned inward and become quiet. When speaking politically, it is in hushed, almost secretive tones. No one wants to utter the unthinkable. Everyone – no matter their political affiliation – seems to be afraid.

Beyond the outward symptoms related to politics and the current election cycle is the feeling of having been put on hold. I am not alone in this. For so many of us who have spent the last many years of our lives working for the betterment of our world, those missions have come to a halt. They have either run themselves out or come to a screeching halt. Inwardly, there is no motivation of inspiration left to drive our so-called missions. As one friend recently put it, “it feels like we are waiting in the wings to see what happens.”  EXACTLY! 

We are waiting. We’ve done what we could for ourselves and for humanity. As it relates to the election, we have cast our vote. Now we wait. We wait for the results and the fallout therein (my sense is that no matter the results, there will be a kind of fallout). We wait for our initial reaction to the results, then we will seek our hearts for an appropriate (preferably non-violent) response. Perhaps our response will be silence. Perhaps we will rage. We won’t know until we get there.  In the meantime, we are holding our breaths and hoping for the best.

My hope, no matter the outward result, is that LOVE and COMPASSION wins.

Moving Gently

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Often, when I reflect on what I want out of my life, the phrase moving gently surfaces. The idea of moving gently is so contrary to the way I have formerly moved and to the way in which we are often conditioned in this society that it has taken me time and much practice to realize this gentle movement in my life. Now, when I am able to sink into this gentle movement it feels natural, nourishing, and life-giving. In the times when life throws me back into situations where gentle is either not possible or difficult to attain, I feel violated and as if my life force is being sucked out of my being. This contrast encourages me to choose gentle movement wherever I am able and to free myself of those things that don’t allow for gentle.

Moving gently brings up images for me of the Bronte sisters and Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women – Victorian women (albeit privileged) who lived in a time when quiet reading, long walks in the moors, the needle arts, and writing were honored as time well-spent. Moving gently also brings up thoughts of medieval nuns like Hildegard of Bingen whose lives were defined by prayer, tending their gardens, providing counsel, caring for the sick, and completing the daily tasks of running a monastery.

These images provide but a glimpse of all the aforementioned lives required, but it is the energy-sense of these images, much more than the literal truth of them that provides food for thought and seeds for discernment.

Moving gently is about having a felt-sense of gentle and choosing this wherever possible in ones life. It is about measuring each experience and encounter and comparing it to what gentle feels like. Then it is about choosing what measures up and discarding the rest. As it turns out, choosing to move gently has application in all areas of my life. Here are some real-life examples:

Exercise: I used to be a gym rat, spending hours a week forcing my body into a size six form through vigorous exercise and weight lifting. Now, I relish in the gentle movements of yoga and Chi Qong. I’m no longer a size six (thank you menopause), but I feel good in my body.

The Drive to Succeed: I spent the vast majority of my life driving, striving, and forcing myself into the western world’s definition of success. I drove myself to be number one in my class. I sought positions that dangled the money carrot. I followed all the rules of SEO marketing and professional networking to try to be a success in my own business. Now, I do none of these. Instead, I listen deeply to my soul and when I feel called to work, I do.  When things come to me that feel life-giving, I receive them. I create what I want to create and leave the rest to God. Somehow it always works out – often by the skin of my teeth, but it works out.

Popularity and People-Pleasing: (puke emoji). I used to believe it was my job to make other people happy. Formerly, I worked hard at being friendly, outgoing, welcoming, and approachable. I wanted people to like me, and I would change and adapt in the hopes of getting other people’s approval. No more. Now, I am me. If people don’t like me, that’s more a reflection of them than it is of me. Instead of wanting to be popular, I now prefer to be unknown and unseen. In my mind, I like to think of my invisibility as the Diana Prince to the Wonder Woman hidden underneath. I no longer need to wave the banner of my magic to get people’s attention. If my gifts are meant for them, they will find me.

The Use of My Time: Formerly, my time was put toward efforts that I hoped would produce popularity, money, fame, even power. Now, my time is spent gently. If I have nothing “to do,” I spend my time in prayer and contemplation. I seek out opportunities for learning. I read and study. I read for enjoyment. I move my body gently. I feed my body simply. I enjoy quietude. I listen to music. I spend time with friends. I work with clients when the opportunities present themselves. I moderate student discussion in my online classes. I facilitate a weekly meditation circle. I tend to the responsibilities of my “chop wood and carry water” job. I pay my bills. I carry my love out into the world. I no longer engage in debate. I have freed myself from trying to convince anyone of anything. I have released resentment. I have let go of my need to fix, change, or save the world and the people within it.

I’m not saying it’s perfect. But identifying my soul’s need to move gently and going about the process of making this choice, I feel more peaceful and content than I have ever felt in my life. Oh yes, I sometimes stray from this and my battle armor is always close at hand, but at least I know what my soul prefers and that the freedom to choose gentle is almost always there.

No Longer Human Functioning

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

I came to the full realization this weekend that I can no longer function as a human being. I’m not sure if this is a function of age and wisdom – coming to know myself more fully and wanting to honor what resonates with and reflects who I am, or if I am finally willing to accept the fact that I am not, in fact, human. Likely it’s a both/and.

With what I know about myself and what I see in the actions of most humans, I don’t know how I could possibly be one of them. Instead, I feel more like an alien species that was dropped on this planet and forced to live among strangers. Never, in my entire life have I wanted what human beings seem to want, and if I did, I wasn’t being honest with myself, or I didn’t know myself well enough to understand that what many humans want would kill me.

And yet, I have spent most of my “human” incarnation, agreeing to the rules human beings seem to have set out for themselves and instead of receiving what has been promised for living by these rules, I have only ever gotten sick – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Humanity’s rules, it seems, are toxic to me, and I’ve had several recent reminders of how sick I become when trying to live by what is expected of other human beings. So, instead of continuing to force myself to comply with humanity’s rules and standards, I’m accepting the fact that what would be called “normal human functioning” is no longer available to me – if it ever was.

For the sake of my own wellbeing, and in acknowledgement of my true alien nature, I no longer consent to the rules of humanity that are toxic to me and will only live my life in the way that feels natural to me.

What comes naturally to me is a quiet, gentle life where I am free to do what feels life-giving to me. What feels life giving to me is meditation and prayer, supporting others with my gifts in a way that empowers and for which my gifts are received and for which I am appropriately compensated, time for learning and study, peaceful enjoyment, one-on-one time with close friends, and rest. In other words – a simple life. If this desire for a simple life makes me an alien, then I guess that’s what I am.

She Abides

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Several years ago, my youngest sister gifted me with a large wall-handing made of weathered wood and carved with a feather and the word abide. I had a sense of what abide meant, but I wanted to be sure, so I looked up the meaning. Merriam-Webster provided me with several options:

a: to bear patiently : tolerate

b: to endure without yielding : withstand

c: to wait for : await

Today, I find myself again reflecting on the word abide and it perfectly describes where I find myself at this stage of my personal journey, especially in relationship to the outside world.

Today, I abide. I sit in quiet observation of the unfolding of humanity’s journey – knowing there is nothing I can do to change that which I find intolerable – things like hatred, division, and all the various isms. I endure the horrors I watch unfolding while refusing to yield my inner peace to things outside of my control and turning to my inner practice when the violence and hatred becomes too much for my sensitive nature.  I wait in hope that this time, humanity will get it right, while knowing they may not, and preparing myself for the worst.

Being able to abide requires a certain measure of inner strength and wisdom. Wisdom wrought through years of seeking and failing to facilitate change in the tide of humanity’s fate. Strength gained through the multitude of rejections I have faced along the way. Humanity doesn’t care much for change-makers. The institutions who benefit from the status quo, welcome change-makers even less.

Abiding doesn’t mean I’m giving up my visionary gifts or the impulse to support the healing and transformation of humanity. Abiding simply recognizes that now may not be the time.

So, I wait. I wait and watch. I hold on to hope without clinging to expectations. I have stepped aside, providing space in which humanity can walk its journey without interference or distractions. I abide in the contentment and peace I have so diligently cultivated awaiting the moment my gifts might be welcome, knowing they may never be. I abide in the reminder that the only one I can save is myself while providing an example that others may one day choose for themselves – and that the choice is up to them.

Going to Ground

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Monday morning, I posted my ballot for the United States’ 2024 presidential election. As I handed my ballot to the postal worker, I heard, as a distinct command:

“Your work is done here.”

Indeed. It feels as such. I have spent the past almost sixty years sowing seeds of love, speaking truth to power, and shining a light on all that is not of love in our world. Whether I wanted to or not, I have been a beacon of light – revealing truth and unveiling falsehood. Whether by my words, my actions, or simply my presence, I have been like an acupuncture needle, inserting love so that what is not of love might be released from our world. My presence has been welcome by many and a bane to some – especially to those who are either living a lie, or who benefit from a system rooted in fear, power, and control.

I say none of this from a place of vanity or pride. Being love in a world that wants to hate is a thankless and difficult job. Rejection comes aplenty and in a capitalistic world – certain financial struggle. When part of your mission (I didn’t ask for this!) is to be a catalyst for the collapse of systems sustained by greed, hatred, division, power, etc., you are woefully unable to live in or by the rule of said-systems. The vehicles of deception and manipulation through which wealth is amassed are not available to me – I couldn’t deceive or manipulate if I tried – and I wouldn’t want to.

But here I’ve been dutifully showing up day after day after day for ALL OF IT – casting seeds of love – all while watching humanity not learn a single thing. If anything, the divide has become greater and the violence, greed, and hatred more acute. Humanity has lost its compassion (if it ever had any).  Rather, those lacking in compassion have grown louder and more apparent while those of us who have been trying to sow compassion have grown weary.

We’ve done all we can. Now, humanity has to decide – will it choose compassion and love or will it continue to choose division and fear?

As of today, humanity has not made its choice. But I have. I choose love and will continue to choose love. I’ve done all I can to plant those seeds and to be a presence through which love is made real in our world. Especially as it relates to the current decisions upon which rests humanity’s fate – I’ve done all I can do.

I have no more words to offer that might encourage one to make the choice for love instead of fear. As such, I’m going to ground. As the world works out its fate, I will be safely tucked away in a sanctuary of my own making. One of three-foot thick earthen walls invisible and impenetrable to those who have not been invited. To those who have, the coffee is always on, I have snuggle blankets aplenty, and a comfortable place for you to rest your weary soul. Perhaps after humanity has decided its fate, the world will welcome our presence and yearn to hear our wisdom and we will rise again like the seventeen-year cicada ready to share our songs of love with the world. In the meantime, we tuck ourselves safely away as we wait and watch.

What Privilege Taught Me to Believe

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 1 Comment

and how those beliefs were undone

I didn’t grow up wealthy, but I did grow up privileged. I was born white to middle class parents, raised in a predominantly white third-generation neighborhood of white-collar professionals and tradesmen. In most of the homes around us, the men worked, and the mothers stayed home. The children were feral and unsupervised, only because everyone believed we were safe. We had a roof over our head, three square homecooked meals a day, new clothing (unless you were a younger sibling), and a basement full of toys. We enjoyed piano and dance lessons. Our parents sent us to private school.

Life was good and in that state of perceived safety and abundance, we believed in the promise of “The American Dream” – a good education and hard work was the path to success and the harder you worked, the more successful you would become. We were also taught that welfare was for lazy people and we should judge them and treat them accordingly. There was a clear dividing line between us (hard workers) and them.  And a not-so-subtle dividing line between us (white people) and them (people of color).

All of this happened along side a devout Catholic upbringing. God was the old man in the sky. We were undeserving of God’s love. God’s love had to be earned and could be taken away. And abortion was a mortal sin. We were even invited to join the school’s “Pro-Life” club from whom we would get a bright shiny silver bracelet marking us as “soldiers of Christ” in the war against abortion (this was all on the heels of Roe vs. Wade). As a young adult, I volunteered at a pro-life “clinic” for women facing unexpected pregnancies.

In addition to all of this: we were raised Republican. We were told Republicans were good and were looking out for the good of the people and that Democrats were communists – and that was bad! I remember knock down drag ‘em out fights between certain family members who (gasp) belonged on different ends of the political spectrum. The Democrats were good people, but clearly delusional – at least that’s what we were led to believe.

In college (YES!  I attended university, which was mostly paid for by my parents – another privilege), I joined a sorority (more privilege), continued attending mass and attended adult faith formation classes. I voted for Ronald Reagan, and later, for George H. W. Bush.

Other than being a brunette, I was the stereotypical white girl of privilege.

But then, life happened.

My previous stance on abortion was the first thing to go. In the volunteer position, I witnessed first-hand the violent tactics often used by the Pro-life movement in dissuading women from seeking an abortion. There was no compassion shown, only judgment, accompanied by violent and graphic images of late-term abortions. There was a reason I wasn’t allowed into the “counseling” room at the clinic. Additionally, with over 40% of pregnancies being unplanned, I was bound to eventually meet a young woman, likely a friend, who would have to face a sometimes-difficult choice. As statistics would have it – I did – come to know of several friends who at one time had to face an unplanned pregnancy. Further, I knew of several who had no choice but to seek the termination of the pregnancy for medical issues related to either the baby, or their own survival. Abortion, it turned out, wasn’t so black and white.  How could I judge a woman (or a couple) who was having to face the most difficult decision of their life – one that would stay with them their whole life. The decision to terminate a pregnancy (no matter what the circumstances) is a wound that does not heal.  It changes, but the pain will always be there on some level. Compassion told me to put myself in the others’ shoes and support them through a very difficult decision. And to understand that at any point, I could find myself in a similar position forced to make a similar difficult choice.

The second thing that went was my belief in the American Dream. The first of this leaving happened in my own professional journey. Sheepskin in hand, I went out looking for work. And this is a FACT – not once in my 40 years of being in the post-college workforce have I made more than $26,000 per year.  NEVER.  Not once.  This was not for lack of effort, work, skills, or abilities. Now at a ripe almost 60, it is not for lack of education, experience, or expertise. The universe has imposed some sort of invisible ceiling between myself and money – never even surpassing (which was also the big privileged promise) the salary of my father.

Hard work and a college education, as it turns out, is NOT a guaranteed path to wealth.

No matter how much someone else wants to tell you otherwise.

Then I experienced poverty. Thankfully not poverty of the sort that far too many suffer, but I have faced an enduring period of financial struggle – the likes of which has had me utilizing some of those so-called “communist” programs. I have received rental assistance and energy assistance. I qualified for Food Stamps and could have been using the Food Pantry (I chose to use neither, but at a grave consequence to me financially – eventually leading to bankruptcy). I have enjoyed the profound benefits of the Affordable Healthcare Act – in fact, my life depends on it. Finally, I am on an income-based repayment plan for my graduate school student loans (if anyone wants to argue with me about student loan forgiveness, DON’T!!!!!  I will direct you straight to Matt Taibbi and his expose’ on the criminal nature of the student loan industry!!!!!) 

Beyond my own personal experience, I have witnessed hundreds, if not thousands struggling with similar or much worse circumstances. I have seen, through clear eyes, that the so-called “American Dream” is a lie and that there are, indeed, systemic obstacles to Americans realizing that dream. This fact of reality breaks my heart and inspires me to share my own journey beyond the lies that come with privilege.

As it relates to Catholicism.  This may be the biggest irony of them all. I have always been a woman of faith (whatever that means). I was a devout Catholic until the local Church made it clear I was no longer welcome. Jesus is my teacher and Mary Magdalene has become a guide. I sometimes pray the rosary and turn to Michael the Archangel in times of anxiety. I cherish my Catholic upbringing – for good and bad – but mostly, for what I learned about social justice:

Jesus calls us to love.  Period. And he was quite clear about what love looked like:

  • Judge not lest ye be judged.
  • Love your neighbor as yourself.
  • Everyone is your neighbor.
  • Welcome immigrants and foreigners.
  • Feed the hungry.
  • Set prisoners and captives free.
  • Clothe the naked.
  • Heal the sick.
  • Give sight to the blind.
  • Welcome “the other” to your table.
  • If someone asks for your cloak, give them your shirt as well.
  • Love one another.  Period.

As it turns out, it is my faith that has called me to depart from the politics in which I was once immersed and toward a political stance that supports the needs of the all. As my own life has shown me, even privilege does not guarantee that life will provide us with what we need. It has also shown me that by our own efforts, our own needs may not necessarily be met. There’s a little story in scripture that seems to provide a solution to this quandary:

All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. (Acts 2: 44-45)

If a sharing among the common good was good enough for Jesus and his earliest disciples, then it’s good enough for me. This is what love has taught me.

Appropriating the Magdalene

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

a warning written in blood?

This morning, another Magdalene appropriator was brought to my attention. Knowing this person and their long history of taking credit for other people’s work, or outright stealing their work for their own uses, I first became afraid, then enraged. How dare this person (who I know)…

I tried.  I really tried to write something – appropriate? Scathing? Eeking of black magic? But I found I just couldn’t.

I just couldn’t because, it’s already been done!

“The true Magdalene stands on her own.”

These are my very own words!  (Read full blog here).

The Magdalene doesn’t need my defending. Neither does the work I do on her behalf and in her name.

As a dear friend reminded me, “I wouldn’t be too worried about it. Those drawn to her (said appropriator) are not on the same frequency as you are.  You don’t want that low vibration. It’ll make you sick.” Right on that.

As one of my current training participants celebrated:

My work has no “whoo.” 

Meaning – it’s the real deal!  Rooted in scholarship. Anchored in contemplative prayer. Centered in scripture. Facilitating human development resulting in self-actualization.

For those willing to do the work.

No whoo. No one blowing smoke up someone’s ass telling them what they want to hear.  No one taking advantage of other people’s insecurities or vulnerabilities to make themselves rich. NO SHINY OBJECTS!

Straight up Mary Magdalene continuing the work of her beloved teacher by showing people how to be love.

No wonder I couldn’t write what I originally intended. It’s not what the Magdalene would have done. Instead, it seems she intervened by staying my blood-dipped pen, forcing me to remember that I am not the one doing the work – She is!  And…

The Magdalene takes care of her own.

See our full collection of online trainings:

Vetting the Magdalene

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

A week or so ago, I received what might be one of the greatest compliments I have ever received in my professional life. I was holding a one-on-one session with a recent enrollee of my Magdalene Training Program. This woman is an academic and an educator.  As I often do, I asked how she found me and the training program I offer.  Her response was something along the lines of: “I’ll be honest, I did a lot of research. I looked at your program along with several others and all I can say is, ‘you made the cut.’” She went on to explain her criteria which included:

  • Based in scholarship.
  • Rooted in scripture.
  • Practical and applicable to real life.
  • Anchored in contemplative practice.
  • Embracing of Eastern and Western practices.
  • Authentically transformational (in other words: it works!)

She also observed, “There is no ‘whoo’ in your program. To which I responded, “Hallelujah!”

You see, in the years that I have been studying the Magdalene and then creating and facilitating formation programs in her name, the Magdalene world has gone from purely academic, with very few of us speaking and teaching in her name, to almost wholly capitalistic – with literally thousands appropriating the Magdalene for their own convoluted purpose. Where once the Magdalene was solely an example of the fulfillment of Jesus’ teachings, the continuation of his ministry and living contemplative empowerment, she is now being used to sell everything from perfumes to tarot cards to so-called “sacred prostitution.” Further, all kinds of claims are now being made and marketed about the Magdalene – none of which can actually be proved.

In reality, we know very little about the Magdalene, except the few passages in scripture (many of which have been redacted), the mentions of her in non-canonical (often called gnostic) writings, and the legends that have been handed down throughout history by the people of Provence, France, the Sophian Gnostics, and the newly revealed Gospel of the Beloved Companion.  Among all these resources mentioned, none of them can be proven as absolutely true.

The fact is, we just don’t know. As is true of scripture in general, nothing stands up to academic rigor. The same is true of the Magdalene. We can only make guesses:

  • Is Magdalene a surname, place name, or title?
  • Was the woman referred to as Miriam of Magdala from the town of Magdala (archaeology suggests not).
  • What does it mean that this woman was “healed of seven demons?” (We can only guess)
  • Who really witnessed the resurrection?
  • What does resurrection even mean?
  • What happened to Mary after Jesus’ death? (we only have legend to go on here).
  • Did Mary travel to Britain? (maybe but doubtful).
  • What about the whole “heiros gamos” thing (depends on how you define that – but on the surface, not likely).
  • Was Mary an Essene (more than doubtful as the Essenes abhorred women).

These questions represent just the tip of the iceberg. There is absolutely nothing we can say about the Magdalene that is irrefutably true. The best we can do is gather the best research and develop guesses from there and when we stray from scholarship, being clear about the basis of what we are sharing.  

What we shouldn’t do, however, is make claims about the Magdalene that have absolutely no basis in scholarship and then sell them as fact. The sad reality however, is that thousands of people are out there doing exactly this while convincing others to pay for goods and services that are based in pure fantasy. On behalf of the Magdalene, I’m offended by this, but she doesn’t need my defending.

The true Magdalene stands on her own.

This has been born out in the women and men who have participated in and completed the Magdalene (inspired) Training Program I have developed, journeyed through myself, and now facilitate. My program differs from other programs being sold in her name by these criteria:

  • Based in scholarship.
  • Rooted in scripture.
  • Practical and applicable to real life.
  • Anchored in contemplative practice.
  • Embracing of Eastern and Western practices.
  • Authentically transformational (in other words: it works!)

No, this work isn’t for everyone. It requires discipline, dedication, persistence, personal accountability, and self-awareness.  In my own life and in the lives of those who have completed this program, the results speak for themselves. Participants come away knowing more about themselves, more about their own personal mission and calling, and have the tools to support themselves in moving past the obstacles to living a purposeful and meaningful life. No whoo here. No smoke blown up your ass. No false promises. No bullshit. Just resources and tools inspired by the Magdalene and the mission of Truth that she shared with her mentor, teacher, and friend, Jesus.

Waiting and Watching

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

The current universe energies are weird. According to my astrologer friends, this week is supposed to be the worst of the year. Strangely, I’m experiencing just the opposite. “The worst week” for me were the two previous weeks – where my personal energy felt very volatile, fragile, vulnerable, highly emotional, disproportionately reactionary, and I did not feel like myself at all! 

Yes, the energies this week are strange. I’ve felt disturbances in the force. I’ve felt underlying anxieties and fears.  I had the sensation of “something wicked this way comes.”  AND, I suffered the heartbreak of learning that someone I care about might be racist, transphobic, and xenophobic (among other things).

And yet, even with all of this, I still feel a strange sense of calm. It’s a kind of “waiting and watching” calm. The calm before the storm? Perhaps.

Tuesday evening, I experienced a visitation of sorts in my dreams. The only way I can describe the visitation was that of a teacher – male in appearance and distinctly dark complected with dark (almost black) hair. In the dream, there were no words exchanged, only a deep gaze – as if into my soul, and through that gaze, I felt learning being imparted to me. It felt like a download of information and knowledge. There was nothing specific within the download or identifiable, just the sensation of being filled up with a kind of ineffable flow of energetic substance. I woke up with the dream fresh in my mind along with the sense of having been prepared or being prepared for……something. This download “continued” throughout the day and was experienced as physical sensations of energy moving down through my body. I had the sense of this being the integration of what I “learned.”

I have no idea of what I learned. There are no words to give to it. It simply felt like necessary preparation for that which I do not and may never know or understand.

So now I wait. I wait and watch as humanity continues along its current trajectory. There are so many things at the tipping point – and in any moment the whole house of cards might collapse upon itself.  AND there’s nothing I can or need to do to hasten it along or prevent its coming. All I can do is wait and watch – an objective witness to whatever the collective decides to do with what God has given them and with the catastrophe they have created for themselves.