Mission/Purpose/Calling

Assembling Your “Stay-Bag”

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Recently, I have heard a lot of chatter in the news and in social media about assembling go-bags. The go-bag contains necessary items for survival for when the shit hits the fan. Go-bags are equally helpful in case of a natural disaster forcing evacuation.  Amazon even sells already assembled go-bags with more things than anyone would even think they might need.

In this chatter I hear many people talking about fleeing the country should (insert reason here) happen. While fleeing the country might entertain our thoughts, the reality is that many, if not most of us do not have the resources or the means to leave.  Furthermore, what, if any, country is willing to welcome asylum-seeking Americans into their country, especially when current political rhetoric centers around the threat of closing our own borders? (insert shrug emoji)

The reality is that no matter how bad things might get, most Americans have no choice but to stay put – if not for financial reasons, then by calling. I, for one, have been told in no uncertain terms is fleeing America a choice for me. I am meant to stay here and ride out the waves of whatever may come – being both witness and a source of support for those who need it. I suspect the same is true for many. I know the same to be true for many I call colleagues and friends.

For those of us who are to stay put, we will not be assembling our go-bag.  Instead, we are being called to assemble our “stay-bag.”  The stay-bag is all that we need to survive where we are. While the stay-bag may vary from person to person, there are essential elements that I believe we all need:

  • A sound practice – one that allows us to find center when all that is around us is chaos.
  • A place we can call sanctuary. For me, this is my home. In this sanctuary, we are able to find rest and feelings of safety from the chaos of the outside world. My home is my monastery, my church, and the place where I welcome family and friends.
  • A safe community – for me this is my family, close friends, and colleagues. Some are local. Some are at a distance.
  • SOS contacts – those we can turn to when it all becomes too much or feels completely insane. Those with whom we can be vulnerable and share the deepest fears or losses of our hearts.
  • Professional Support – spiritual counselors (like me), therapists, yoga teachers, massage therapists, acupuncturists, compassionate physicians, etc.  Anyone and everyone that we can turn to for our own well-being.  
  • Enjoyment – those simple things that nourish our souls. Books, TV, spending time with friends, art, music, dancing, being in nature, etc. In this, it is helpful to remember that even in the darkest of times, humanity has found support and inspiration in “the arts” – whatever form those arts took.

In this season of giving, and as we approach the new year, perhaps the most important thing we can give to ourselves is all that we need to survive this next stage in the evolution of human consciousness and the unfolding of the American experiment.

What is in your “stay-bag?”

On the Verge of Tears

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 5 Comments

As I read through the comments on Sunday’s blog, the energy and words I heard were, “always on the verge of tears.” I heard these words as true for me, and wondered if it has also been true for others.

I believe we have a lot to cry about.

As one who has been on the forefront of the human consciousness evolution, calling myself (among other things): lightworker, shadow worker, depth worker, healer, guide, prophet, witch, and starseed, I have been both witness to and participant in what many have called (incorrectly) ascension.

To put it in simple terms: I have felt a calling and a drive to be part of a movement to provide humanity with the healing it needs to live more fully from love and less from a place of fear. Since 1994, this work has consumed me.

It’s been a bittersweet journey. I’ve seen the benefit of deep inner work within myself, in my ability to parent my children, in my work with clients and in conversations with friends and collaborators. I have found a community of people in Oshkosh, and beyond, who are involved in similar and complementary work. I have established an online community of a few who are equally committed to being love in the world for the sake of the betterment of the human experience. I am connected with hundreds of people online who are committed to this kind of work through their own unique gifts.

And yet….I find myself weary. I know many others who have also grown weary.

Human beings are a stubborn lot. Firmly attached to the status quo. Resistant to change. Often seeing change-makers and visionaries as the enemies, leading some to resist that change through violence. It seems humanity would prefer to live in a world of hatred and fear than to do the deep inner work of healing that which causes them to be non-loving toward themselves and others.

Remember when this work was supposed to be completed by 2012?  (insert hysterical sarcastic laughter) How we find ourselves approaching the end of 2024 and not much has changed. Human beings are still making war and solving conflicts through threats of violence. Humans continue to be greedy, destructive, and jealous.

In short, humans kinda suck.  It’s why I refuse to claim membership within the human species. I’m not sure what I am, but not one who thrives on being cruel to other human beings. (admittedly, some might consider me cruel – but in reality, I just have really good boundaries!)

When I look at humanity, I feel sad. I’m sad that they would choose hatred over compassion, fear over love, violence over peace. I’m dumbfounded by the dogged clutching after separation, division, prejudice, and discrimination.

Perhaps I wouldn’t be so saddened by humanity’s choice if I hadn’t discovered another way. This “other way” was somehow present in my heart from the moment of my birth/conception. I also found that “other way” in the peace movement of the late 1960’s and early 70’s. I further found it in the social justice work performed by the church in which I was raised. Most acutely I discovered it in Jesus’ teachings – not as they were taught to me from the pulpit, but that which I discovered through my own meditation, prayer, contemplation, and study, additionally reflected in the spiritual teachings of the ancients whose books have fallen into my lap over these very many years.

I know I’m not alone in this. Everyone with whom I have been doing this work, talking about this work, supporting this work, speaks of “another way.” This “other way” came to us. We did the work to be healed by it and to be made more whole. We’ve tried to share it with others. We’ve even provided the resources and tools for human beings to learn to become this love themselves.

And yet…..here we are.

I am weary. I am sad. Pretty much every day I feel on the verge of tears. Tears over what? Not getting my way? Tears over all that I/we have given up to do this work? Crying over the things that could have been had we not been called into this movement of love? Weeping over what others seem to have/enjoy that were never an option for me/us? Tears over the friends, family, clients who feel away over the years? Grief over all those millions who have died simply because humanity refused to set aside their separation and learn how to love?

Indeed.  There is a lot to cry about.

And maybe this is part of the limbo I spoke about. Maybe we need this in-between time to process all we’ve been through. Perhaps we need this time to grieve – to grieve all we personally lost, all we were made to leave behind, all the difficulty and struggle we’ve experienced in choosing love over fear. Grieving all the times we’ve been misunderstood, ignored, ridiculed, condemned. Weeping over the deep loneliness that comes in doing this work.

If indeed we are at the end of something and preparing for something new to take its place, grief is not only predictable but appropriate.

When we feel on the verge of tears, the invitation is to embrace these tears as part of our grieving, and in giving those tears release, allowing healing to take its place. Or if you’re like me and you’re on medication that hinders your ability to cry, find those things that help to bring them on. Yesterday for me, it was watching the “Making of Mary Poppins” documentary on Hulu – the bird lady does it to me every time!

Living in Limbo

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 7 Comments

I’ve just returned from a very short visit with the Minnesota Lumbys for our annual ThanksChristmas. As an introvert who suffers with a vestibular disorder that is triggered by movement, noise, lights, smells, barometric pressure and more, today is a rest and recovery day. I’m resting at home, in my self-created sanctuary, simply being and reflecting on the state of things.

Things are weird. My whole life I’ve had some sort of sense of purpose.  I had goals, lists of things I wanted to accomplish, studies to complete, grades (or as a grown up – money) to achieve. Now I find myself with none of these. Truth be told, I feel a little lost and at almost sixty, I sometimes wonder if I wasted my whole life by not becoming a high school English teacher – a path I never even considered but would have been really good at.

But alas, God (or whatever you call that) had other plans. Plans that included a lot of stumbling in and out of different careers, finally landing on what felt like my true soul’s calling. I still consider ministry of a certain kind to be my calling. I just never know what form it is going to take.  Certainly not one that bears any resemblance to how we typically think of ministry.

I don’t have a church. I sort of have a community. I don’t preside over liturgy. Over my dead body would I wear a collar or any of the priestly accoutrements. Like Jesus, I wear what regular people wear – in this day and age, usually jeans, a scooped neck top and boots.

Over the years my ministry has taken many forms – all centered around human development and counseling in some way. This continues to be true, but other forms have shown themselves, including serving as office manager (unofficial counselor) for a local ballet studio.

Most often my ministry, has really no form at all. It’s just showing up in a space and being myself.

And yet…..and yet……there continues to be something tickling the edges of my consciousness. Something beckoning. Something whispering. Something that is preparing to come into my life…….but its time is not yet here. And I have NO IDEA what it is.

Isn’t a deeply, long held longing that has not yet been fulfilled? It is more of God’s plan? Is it a yet undiscovered way to serve? Is it a miracle that will swoop in and ease the burden that the post 16 years has been? Will it be something that lightens the load and makes life just a little bit easier? Is it the second coming of Christ (insert hysterical laughter and a gigantic eyeball roll)?

I don’t know what it is and I am certain I am not alone in the deep seated feeling of “something coming but I know not what.” I am willing to bet that every single lightworker, healer, shadow worker, etc. is feeling something similar. For me, there is a distinct feeling of “something is finished” and “something new is soon to come in.” BUT I have NO IDEA what this new might be.

I would find myself impatient and sometimes frustrated in this unknowing, except that the VOID has been my constant companion for the last several years. So I wait. I sit. I do nothing. I accomplish nothing. I listen. I watch. I observe. I cease from interfering. I allow life/humanity to unfold its journey. I’ve stopped trying to convince anyone of anything or from trying to change their mind. I’m just letting things be. And this is difficult for two reasons – 1) I tend to be a person of action and change. 2) Many people around me are anxious about the state of our world and desperately want things to change.

I do too (want things to change), but I’m learned that my interference does nothing but cause distress. So I wait. And I remember that I, Lauri Ann Lumby, am not in charge (as much as I want to be – because darn tootin’ I could do it better). The Universe/God has a plan and there is absolutely nothing I can do until that something falls into my lap.

So in this Limbo time, I’m sitting with my heart and hands open for whatever the Universe has planned for me, knowing that I will say yes to whatever that is once I know what it is. I know better than to try to say “no” to “God.”

PS If I had said no to God about Reiki I’d still be working in the Church for a regular wage, doing what I’m told instead of wandering around on my own hoping and praying for enough clients and students to make my rent. Being obedient to our higher power, I have found, is not a path to riches. (hah!)

Pluto and the Death of Love

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Today, November 19, 2024, Pluto departs Capricorn for the final time in our lives!!!!!!!  (collective exhale of relief)  Since January 27, 2008, Pluto has been making his journey through Capricorn. Astrologers have all kinds of things to say about the meaning of Pluto’s transit, but as a Capricorn sun sign with Capricorn in my tenth house, as one astrologer said, this transit has been personal. You could say this is how I feel at the end of this transit:

Pluto in Capricorn has kicked my ass. I’m completely wiped out and exhausted beyond imagining. I feel as if I have nothing left to give to this life after Pluto has had his way with me, both personally and collectively.

Let’s talk about the collective first as that’s the easiest for me to speak about. Pluto moving through Capricorn has been a time of both revelation and destruction. In Lauri Lumby language, Pluto in Capricorn has been about making us all see humanity’s shadow (all those things about human beings we want to deny, ignore, or sweep under the rug).  Most especially, we have been given the opportunity to see the evil and corruption at the heart of every single institution we once held dear: church, government, banking and money, commerce, healthcare, education, etc. etc. etc.  Every institution we were taught to believe had our highest good in mind, has been shown to be liars.

If you are feeling a little betrayed, you have a right to be. It has all been shown to be a lie.

The good news is that the lie is collapsing – but as is true of every collapse – it might prove painful. Whereas Pluto has departed Capricorn, we’re still in the game as Pluto begins its dance through Aquarius – bringing the promise of rebirth – but not before the dying system heaves it’s last breath and humanity finds its way out of the rubble. Much of what many have come to rely upon will be torn from their grasping fingers.

If there was ever a time that it would prove beneficial to “have not,” now would be that time. When you have nothing, there’s really nothing left to lose.

Which brings me to the personal. As the shadows of our world have been revealed, I have experienced some deeply personal shadows showing themselves. My own shadow has come forward to be seen so it could be healed. This work has been arduous, but I’m good at inner work, so I found my way through it.

The other shadows pulled the rug out from beneath me in ways I cannot even begin to describe. Both came unexpectedly and out of the blue (in hindsight, however, there were signs). Both forever altered the trajectory of what I had planned for my life while irreparably breaking my heart. There were times where the pain in my heart was so great that I thought I might die. (I’m not exaggerating).  To speak of it now brings a heaviness in my heart in remembering all the times I wasn’t sure I would survive the betrayal, the lies, and the devastating loss. Both revelations forced me to make the two most difficult decisions of my life and to leave behind that which had promised to be a place of safety, and protection.

If I could sum up what Pluto in Capricorn has been for me personally, it would be the death of love. The Catholic Church (since it is the leaving I’m comfortable sharing here) makes promises of unconditional love. It claims to be a safe and secure place. I was invited into the embrace of the Church as a lay minister and celebrated for my work there…..until I wasn’t. What ultimately forced me to leave was that the Church made me choose between them and Christ. I chose Christ. In arriving at that choice, however, I saw all the ways that the Church was NOT being Christ in the world. I saw that the love of the Church is the definition of conditional as it requires obedience to the institution – at the expense of God. Weird.

While Pluto’s journey through Capricorn led me down some truly painful paths, and forced difficult decisions – what it ultimately provided for me (kicking and screaming) was FREEDOM. Freedom from counterfeit love. Freedom from institutional control. Freedom to think with my own mind, speak my own truth, LIVE my own truth. This journey has also taught what IS NOT Love.

Perhaps Pluto in Aquarius will be a gentler time for us worn out and weary Capricorns. And if I could hope for one thing – it would be that Pluto in Aquarius might show us what Love truly is. Admittedly, with our hearts broken our ability to receive this Love might be tentative (I’m still not quite sure how I feel about God), but my understanding is that True Love meets us where we are at – broken hearted and all.

The World Needs You

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Desperately!

As we are finding our way through the great collapse, I am reminded of how now is not a time to shy away. Instead, “all hands on deck” is imperative. But not necessarily in the way that our capitalistic conditioning would have us believe. Instead, we are invited to look deep within ourselves to be reminded of our true uniqueness and how we are called to bring that forth.

Each and everyone of us is uniquely gifted to participate in the collapse of the empire. Some are being hospice for the dying world- tending to the grief that comes when things are coming to an end, providing comfort, hope, and pain relief. Some are visionaries – imagining what a new world might look like. Some are prophetic messengers – pointing out the truths that no one wants to admit. Some are revealers – pulling back the veil of illusion so that the sometimes difficult truth can be seen. Some are healers, providing care and support for those who are hurting. Some are beacons who simply by their presence are leading and guiding people to truth and love. Some are gatherers – bringing forth community for a common cause. Some are builders – creating something new out of the ash of the old. Then we have our artists, writers, poets, musicians, dancers, etc. – all those who communicate despair, frustration, rage, beauty and hope through their arts so that all we are feeling in the midst of the collapse might be given expression.  

These are the gifts we want to acknowledge. But, beyond perceived separation there is unity and wholeness. From the perspective of wholeness, even that which we might judge as evil or destructive is also playing its role in the story of the great collapse. These men and women are showing us what is in need of healing among us. They are showing us the lies and deceptions upon which this empire was built. They are showing us our greed, our gluttony, our lust for power, and the truth of our envious natures. They are reflecting back to us corruption, prejudice, and hatred. They are living out their pre-ordained roles as harbingers of truth – the truths we don’t really want to see or acknowledge about ourselves. It is only in seeing the truth of our woundedness as a species that we can begin to bring forth healing.

The journey is difficult, but the destination is the same. No matter what role we are playing in this drama, it is all leading to the same place.  The place and the destination is LOVE. Whether that Love is something we uncover within ourselves, or something we come together to build, it is all the same. We came here for the purpose of Love, to come to know Love, to heal all the barriers to that Love, and then to live out that Love. Experiencing life is how we get there – each in our own unique way.

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Embracing Fallow Times

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

In the natural world, there are cycles to all living things. A seed finds its way to the soil. The nutrients of the soil combined with the sun and rain support germination and growth. The plant flowers and eventually bears fruit. Then the plant either enters a state of dormancy, or the plant dies. Some plants are made to live only one growing season. Others return each year to bear flower and fruit. Some return every other year. And a rare few enter a dormant period for many years, while some require drastic states of nature for germination and growth. The seeds of the Giant Sequoia, for example, only germinate after they have been subjected to fire, and many desert plants sequester underground, often for many years, until the rain comes.

Written in the DNA of every living thing is the cycle of its natural life – a time to live and a time to die, a time to work and a time to rest. The same is true of human beings, especially as it relates to the gifts (fruits) we bring to our lived experience. In the same way that our life has a beginning and an end, so too do our cycles of productivity and creativity.

In a world in which we are conditioned to believe that our value is dependent upon our productivity, when we find ourselves in fallow times, we are prone to judging ourselves and forcing ourselves to produce and create. The harder we work to produce, the more frustrated we become and the more our creativity suffers. Like the fruit of a plant, our creative contributions to the human experience cannot be forced. Whether our creative contribution is parenthood, painting, teaching, counseling, writing, singing, speaking, managing, organizing, healing, providing service, administrating, craftsmanship, or any other outward form of producing, it cannot be forced. This is especially true in the times we are meant to lie dormant.

Dormancy most often comes after times of intensive output – times in which we have been actively producing. As is true of nature, dormancy can also follow times of enormous stress or after we’ve suffered trauma. Like a plant that has finished its growing season, or that has been traumatized by the violence of nature (flood, drought, etc.), we need time to rest and recover before we are able to produce again.

Contrary to our capitalistic conditioning, fallow times are not bad. Instead, they are deeply necessary for our own health and for the good of humanity and the planet. When fallow times present themselves, we do ourselves good by surrendering to them – which I know is quite difficult.

To embrace and receive the fruits of our own periods of dormancy, we need to undo all the conditioning that has told us our value is based on our productivity. We have to exorcise ourselves of the messages that suggest that in surrendering to dormancy, we are being lazy, that we might be depressed, or that there is something wrong with us and with our inaction. We have to silence the voices both outside of us and in our own heads that insist that doing nothing is wrong.

During times of dormancy, the only task required of us is to simply be. To be with the inaction. To endure the naysaying. To dive into our discomfort. To resist the pressure to do and allow our souls the precious time they need to rest and restore. Only in surrendering to the fallow time do the seeds of new life that are waiting within us receive the nourishment and energy they need to come forth in their own divinely-ordained time – and not a second before. In embracing our fallow times, we are providing the foundation upon which our next cycle of life will bloom vibrantly and abundantly – if only we have the patience and trust to wait.

Waiting to Exhale

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

At the risk of becoming political, I must acknowledge the palpable collective energy of angst. For myself, this angst is presenting itself as a sense of caution along with a need to draw inward and sequester myself from the world, the news, other human beings, really any sort of engagement. When life requires that I do go out into the world, I feel the collective trepidation while also witnessing an increase in erratic and even violent behavior in my fellow human beings. Those who are empathic as I am have turned inward and become quiet. When speaking politically, it is in hushed, almost secretive tones. No one wants to utter the unthinkable. Everyone – no matter their political affiliation – seems to be afraid.

Beyond the outward symptoms related to politics and the current election cycle is the feeling of having been put on hold. I am not alone in this. For so many of us who have spent the last many years of our lives working for the betterment of our world, those missions have come to a halt. They have either run themselves out or come to a screeching halt. Inwardly, there is no motivation of inspiration left to drive our so-called missions. As one friend recently put it, “it feels like we are waiting in the wings to see what happens.”  EXACTLY! 

We are waiting. We’ve done what we could for ourselves and for humanity. As it relates to the election, we have cast our vote. Now we wait. We wait for the results and the fallout therein (my sense is that no matter the results, there will be a kind of fallout). We wait for our initial reaction to the results, then we will seek our hearts for an appropriate (preferably non-violent) response. Perhaps our response will be silence. Perhaps we will rage. We won’t know until we get there.  In the meantime, we are holding our breaths and hoping for the best.

My hope, no matter the outward result, is that LOVE and COMPASSION wins.

Moving Gently

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Often, when I reflect on what I want out of my life, the phrase moving gently surfaces. The idea of moving gently is so contrary to the way I have formerly moved and to the way in which we are often conditioned in this society that it has taken me time and much practice to realize this gentle movement in my life. Now, when I am able to sink into this gentle movement it feels natural, nourishing, and life-giving. In the times when life throws me back into situations where gentle is either not possible or difficult to attain, I feel violated and as if my life force is being sucked out of my being. This contrast encourages me to choose gentle movement wherever I am able and to free myself of those things that don’t allow for gentle.

Moving gently brings up images for me of the Bronte sisters and Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women – Victorian women (albeit privileged) who lived in a time when quiet reading, long walks in the moors, the needle arts, and writing were honored as time well-spent. Moving gently also brings up thoughts of medieval nuns like Hildegard of Bingen whose lives were defined by prayer, tending their gardens, providing counsel, caring for the sick, and completing the daily tasks of running a monastery.

These images provide but a glimpse of all the aforementioned lives required, but it is the energy-sense of these images, much more than the literal truth of them that provides food for thought and seeds for discernment.

Moving gently is about having a felt-sense of gentle and choosing this wherever possible in ones life. It is about measuring each experience and encounter and comparing it to what gentle feels like. Then it is about choosing what measures up and discarding the rest. As it turns out, choosing to move gently has application in all areas of my life. Here are some real-life examples:

Exercise: I used to be a gym rat, spending hours a week forcing my body into a size six form through vigorous exercise and weight lifting. Now, I relish in the gentle movements of yoga and Chi Qong. I’m no longer a size six (thank you menopause), but I feel good in my body.

The Drive to Succeed: I spent the vast majority of my life driving, striving, and forcing myself into the western world’s definition of success. I drove myself to be number one in my class. I sought positions that dangled the money carrot. I followed all the rules of SEO marketing and professional networking to try to be a success in my own business. Now, I do none of these. Instead, I listen deeply to my soul and when I feel called to work, I do.  When things come to me that feel life-giving, I receive them. I create what I want to create and leave the rest to God. Somehow it always works out – often by the skin of my teeth, but it works out.

Popularity and People-Pleasing: (puke emoji). I used to believe it was my job to make other people happy. Formerly, I worked hard at being friendly, outgoing, welcoming, and approachable. I wanted people to like me, and I would change and adapt in the hopes of getting other people’s approval. No more. Now, I am me. If people don’t like me, that’s more a reflection of them than it is of me. Instead of wanting to be popular, I now prefer to be unknown and unseen. In my mind, I like to think of my invisibility as the Diana Prince to the Wonder Woman hidden underneath. I no longer need to wave the banner of my magic to get people’s attention. If my gifts are meant for them, they will find me.

The Use of My Time: Formerly, my time was put toward efforts that I hoped would produce popularity, money, fame, even power. Now, my time is spent gently. If I have nothing “to do,” I spend my time in prayer and contemplation. I seek out opportunities for learning. I read and study. I read for enjoyment. I move my body gently. I feed my body simply. I enjoy quietude. I listen to music. I spend time with friends. I work with clients when the opportunities present themselves. I moderate student discussion in my online classes. I facilitate a weekly meditation circle. I tend to the responsibilities of my “chop wood and carry water” job. I pay my bills. I carry my love out into the world. I no longer engage in debate. I have freed myself from trying to convince anyone of anything. I have released resentment. I have let go of my need to fix, change, or save the world and the people within it.

I’m not saying it’s perfect. But identifying my soul’s need to move gently and going about the process of making this choice, I feel more peaceful and content than I have ever felt in my life. Oh yes, I sometimes stray from this and my battle armor is always close at hand, but at least I know what my soul prefers and that the freedom to choose gentle is almost always there.

No Longer Human Functioning

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

I came to the full realization this weekend that I can no longer function as a human being. I’m not sure if this is a function of age and wisdom – coming to know myself more fully and wanting to honor what resonates with and reflects who I am, or if I am finally willing to accept the fact that I am not, in fact, human. Likely it’s a both/and.

With what I know about myself and what I see in the actions of most humans, I don’t know how I could possibly be one of them. Instead, I feel more like an alien species that was dropped on this planet and forced to live among strangers. Never, in my entire life have I wanted what human beings seem to want, and if I did, I wasn’t being honest with myself, or I didn’t know myself well enough to understand that what many humans want would kill me.

And yet, I have spent most of my “human” incarnation, agreeing to the rules human beings seem to have set out for themselves and instead of receiving what has been promised for living by these rules, I have only ever gotten sick – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Humanity’s rules, it seems, are toxic to me, and I’ve had several recent reminders of how sick I become when trying to live by what is expected of other human beings. So, instead of continuing to force myself to comply with humanity’s rules and standards, I’m accepting the fact that what would be called “normal human functioning” is no longer available to me – if it ever was.

For the sake of my own wellbeing, and in acknowledgement of my true alien nature, I no longer consent to the rules of humanity that are toxic to me and will only live my life in the way that feels natural to me.

What comes naturally to me is a quiet, gentle life where I am free to do what feels life-giving to me. What feels life giving to me is meditation and prayer, supporting others with my gifts in a way that empowers and for which my gifts are received and for which I am appropriately compensated, time for learning and study, peaceful enjoyment, one-on-one time with close friends, and rest. In other words – a simple life. If this desire for a simple life makes me an alien, then I guess that’s what I am.