Personal Mastery

Not for the Masses

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

For years I have struggled to understand and make peace with the reality that very few people are attracted to the Magdalene work that I provide, and even fewer complete it. Now I get it:

The Magdalene is not for the masses!

While likely hundreds of books have been published in her name and a similar number of online resources are available, many of which offer their own versions of “Magdalene training” or offer retreats and pilgrimages in the name of the Magdalene, it is not to the resources and support I provide where people tend to gravitate. Formerly, I took this personally. Now, I acknowledge it as a victory of sorts – a victory, not for myself, but a victory for those who are called to the work I facilitate, especially to those who complete it.

The work of the Magdalene was never meant to be easy. Neither is it something to be entered into lightly for the purposes of puffing up the ego or making oneself feel special. If it was a challenge for Mary, who earned the title of Magdalene through her commitment to and mastery of these teachings, so shall it be for those who courageously embark upon this journey.

It was not to the masses, nor to the other disciples that the risen Christ was revealed. Neither were any of the other disciples ordained to continue the depth work facilitated by Jesus. It was only to Mary, called Magdalene, that these things were given.

The work of the Magdalene is hard. It requires discipline, tenacity, persistence, and a 100% commitment to radical personal accountability. The journey Mary completed under Jesus’ tutelage revealed to her the path through which one is able to overcome the inner demons (fears, unhealed wounds, societal conditioning) that prevent one from knowing their true nature as Love in Union with the All. With single-minded focus, Mary confronted each and every unhealed wound, false perception, non-loving conditioning, and fear which blocked her way from knowing this Love and in doing so, became the embodiment of Love – as Jesus himself had done. There is no other direct follower of Jesus said to have completed this work (with the possible exception of John – though recent scholarship suggests the writings attributed to John may in fact, have come from, Mary, herself).

As Mary’s accomplishment was rare, so has it been throughout history. It is only our pop-culture spirituality that might suggest otherwise. Contrary to mass-marketed spirituality, enlightenment cannot be bought. It can only be uncovered in bits and pieces as we diligently tend to every single obstacle to Love – including (especially) ourselves. This is not the work for the faint of heart. Instead, we must look in the mirror with excruciating scrutiny:

  • What are the lies we’ve told ourselves?
  • What are the attachments we’ve formed?
  • How are we feeding our egos with dreams of popularity, fame, power, or wealth?
  • Where are we making excuses for our inhumanity to our fellow human beings?
  • Where are we harboring hatred?
  • How are we hiding our true selves for the sake of other people’s approval?
  • Where are we depriving ourselves of the things we need to fit into the status quo?
  • How have we bought into capitalistic deceptions and in what ways have we sold our soul to “make it?”
  • What are the sensitivities we’ve ignored, the reactions we’ve excused, or the violence we’ve justified – toward others and to ourselves?

Few, I have found, are willing to be so honest, and fewer still are willing to accept the kind of accountability that true transformation requires. And that’s ok. Like Jesus, the Magdalene wears many faces – a symbol for some, an inspiration for others, and to those called to the depths – a psychopomp leading them on a journey through the underworld where their wounds may be transformed and their truest light revealed.

My most-recommended books on the Magdalene:

Bourgeault, Cynthia, The Meaning of Mary Magdalene – Discovering the Woman at the Heart of Christianity, Shambhala Publications, 2010.

DeQuillan, Jehanne, The Gospel of the Beloved Companion, Athara Editions, 2010.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Gospel of Mary Magdalene, Inner Traditions, 2002.

Remembering Who We Are

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

It seems I have forgotten who I am, and in the forgetting, I have become ill.

Beyond my work as an author, writer, spiritual director, and educator, I have another job. For forty-nine weeks of the year, the job is fine – good even. Three weeks of the year, not so much – not because of the job itself, but because of the price to my nervous system. Being a highly sensitive empathic introvert who struggles with the symptoms of C-PTSD, Epstein Barr, kidney disease, and hypothyroid, I’m vulnerable on a normal day. During these three weeks, ones that require much more from me than usual, I find I struggle. To survive these three weeks, I find I only have the bandwidth to show up where I need to be, when I need to be there, and complete the tasks required. After the work is complete all I have left is to go home and “rot” (ie: disassociate, recover).

During those three weeks, I find it impossible to be my normal self. Instead, I find myself being short-tempered, impatient, grumpy, and extra sensitive. Whereas I have done a pretty good job of cultivating detachment and a sense of peaceful ease during normal weeks, for these three weeks – all bets are off.

I don’t like who I become when everything around me ends up being a trigger.

Following those three weeks, I spend as much time as possible doing nothing, hermiting in my cave, resting, sleeping, and trying to return to my so-called normal. A big part of this return to “normal” is trying to remember who I am when my nervous system isn’t being overstimulated by too much sound, vibration, movement, light, and other people’s energies.

Now that those three weeks are over, little by little, I’m starting to remember.

When a task takes so much of our physical, emotional, and mental effort, it is easy to forget who we are REALLY. Getting lost in to-do lists, unexpected emergencies, other people’s emotions, and all the details that go into a monumental creation, it is easy to forget that we are not those tasks. We are not the emergencies. Neither are we other people’s emotions. Even with time to regroup and recover, remembering who we really are beyond these responsibilities is difficult at best.

  • Remembering requires separation. Separation and distance from what made us forget.
  • Remembering demands quiet, stillness, and silence – asking us to enter into that place of calm where our true self resides.
  • Remembering invites a return to routine – the routine out of which our body and soul feel nourished, safe, and supported.
  • Remembering asks us to listen – to listen to the “still-small voice,” that knows our truth and what is important for our Soul’s fulfillment.
  • Remembering is accomplished through practice – practicing the distance, the quiet, the routine, and the listening that support us in calling back all the strands of ourselves we have given away and then replanting them deep into the ground where they can begin (again) to thrive.

This year’s remembering has just begun, but already I’ve been reminded of why I’m really here. Not because of the tasks. Not because of the roles, certificates, or titles. Not because of what I do or how I make a living. I’m here to BE who I am and who I am meant to be and that has a specific symbol that has meaning only to me. If I share it, perhaps you’ll get a glimpse of the calling that will spark your own journey of remembering.

For nearly fifty years, (and many lifetimes), Lauri Ann Lumby has been a student and devote’ of Mary, called Magdalene. From original source material, Lauri has discovered remembered the secret teachings of Jesus, as they were revealed to the Magdalene. Lauri has applied these teachings in her own life and from this has developed a curriculum of practical study for those interested in remembering and embodying the truth of their original nature as Love.

Learn more here.

Sorrow, Melancholy, and Disappointment

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Goodbye 2025!

This morning, a dear friend of mine shared a traditional Sicilian prayer for the new year, along with its English translation:

The old year goes away and will never return.
May it take with it all my melancholy,
may it erase sadness
and the bitterness of dark days.
New Year, come forward, come on—
everyone celebrates you.
Bring joy, health, and love
to all the friends I carry in my HEART.
May it be a blessed year for everyone,
even if it won’t be perfect.
May the good Lord guide us
in the new year that is to come… Buon Anno

Thank you, Nina, for bringing forth the words that for so many describe the weird year of 2025.  To this list, I would add: disappointment.

2025 has truly been brutal. For empaths and sensitives, I think this is especially true. It’s just too much to be made to wear and then process the collective trauma of all that has transpired in the last year. Personally, I have felt very much like the silver ball in the pinball machine getting continually batted around by the player who refuses to take his finger off the G.D. red button.

I don’t need to go into any detail here. We all know. (If we don’t know, we’re either not paying attention or are one of the very few benefitting from the relentless chaos and abuse of this past year.)

Is 2026 going to be better?  I know better than to offer predictions or promises.

It’s like the meme I keep seeing on social media:

“What if we all died in 2020 and now we’re living in hell?”

Somedays it feels like that – even for those of us who have spent the last many years cultivating detachment, bullet-proof boundaries, and witness consciousness. It seems no matter how much inner work we have done, or how many lessons we have mastered, we cannot help but find ourselves triggered by what is happening in the world around us and within those close to us. And if you’re a recovering perfectionist like me, we can’t help but be frustrated and disappointed with ourselves when we find ourselves triggered – and even more so when we find ourselves reacting to these triggers out of our unhealed wounds – wounds that we arrogantly believed we had healed for good. HAH!

Turns out, we’re never fully healed. I cannot tell you how much this fact hurts my perfectionistic soul. I guess I’m not the Messiah I one day hoped I would be. Neither, it turns out, do I have a foundation for my self-righteousness. To my utter despair, I’m just as irreparably flawed as anyone else.  

For me, this year has been especially hard on my perfectionistic nature, leaving me feeling deep sorrow, melancholy, and disappointment – yes, at the world around us, but even more so with myself. I’m sad for the times my wounds got the best of me. I’m sorry for those who ended up being the target of my reactions. I wish I was better at detaching from other people’s reactions and more compassionate toward their unhealed wounds. I wish I was more adept at withholding judgment and simply letting people be – especially when my discerning eye sees something that I think could be done in a better way.

As it relates to the world…..my heart just breaks. I will never, ever, ever, understand the cruelty of human beings. I will never comprehend the “need” for war. I will never understand how human beings can stand back as other human beings are starving, homeless, or living in poverty. I will never comprehend why certain men hoard wealth while turning a blind eye to the millions upon millions of human beings who are struggling just to survive. All of this really makes me truly sad and questioning the need for human beings. I often think the world really would be better off without us.

And maybe that’s the point. Human beings do not add a single thing to this planet. And yet, here we are – an experiment of some alien god to see how long it takes us to fail or an expression of another God (Love) hoping we will one day succeed in remembering who we are and find our way home?  At the end of the day, I guess the reason why doesn’t matter. What matters is what we do with this life we’ve been given. Do we choose a life of selfishness and hatred, or do we do our best to choose Love? No matter how many times that pinball paddle hurts me, I continue to choose Love – at least I try to.  

So, with this, I return to Nina’s prayer and offer it up as a prayer for us all. May it be fulfilled as we step cautiously and timidly into this new year.

With love,

Lauri

Wandering, Wandering, Aimlessly Wandering

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Aka – Life in the Void

This morning, I woke up with a million topic ideas wrestling in my head. Do I write about collective despair or survival? Do I muse on about living as an interdimensional being? Do I remark on the radically different lives many of us find ourselves living? Do I talk about the state of our world (yes, let’s go ahead and beat that dead horse!)?

When I sat in the center of these swirling topics, I realized that the common thread in all of this is where we find ourselves at this moment – Sitting in the void between a world that is coming to an end and a world that has not yet been fully born. Void space, as I have come to know it, is a restless place filled with anxiety and certainty, yet when we know how to move through our need to control, we find the deep, dark, peace that is at the center of the Void. (Psst: The Void could also be called “Source,” for it is out of the Void that all things come into being).

The world as we have known it is dying. I need only point to the community engagement I was invited into this week regarding a $6 million deficit facing the Oshkosh Area School District. The current proposal for balancing the budget includes the elimination of 23 full-time equivalent positions in “elective” classes, specifically art, music, theatre, industrial and culinary arts, and more. Of course I did my part in writing to the Board and the OASD Administration on why maintaining these classes is important and the impact these classes have on students, along with the devastating effect eliminating these classes would have on student enrollment and graduation rates. I did the proper 3d world thing on a topic I am passionate about.

At the same time…….I know that education is one of the systems that is facing its own death as the empires around us collapse. Education, as we have known it no longer works – if it ever really did. Education, like all other patriarchal/hierarchical institutions, is clinging hard to status quo. In my letter to Oshkosh schools’ leadership, I called for innovation while knowing that they have neither the courage nor the insight to accept that invitation. The superintendent offering no acknowledgement or response to my letter says it all. OASD will be dying along with all other educational institutions who would rather live in denial than do the hard work of radical reform.

Radical reform is what the new world is calling for. For those with eyes to see, we see this and we know this. We know and understand what will need to pass away, collapse, or die in order for the new to come forth. We know and sense the new, but for those of us of a certain age, it is not ours to build. No, our children, and our children’s children will be the ones creating the new world – as they already are.

And yet, here we are, in the space between a world that is in freefall and a world yet to be born. It’s a strange place. Everything feels bad, uncertain, worrisome, violent, and despairing. This is the place of the unknown and in the face of the unknown there is anxiety. The signs of death are everywhere – from increasing grocery and housing costs, to political insanity. Everything sucks. In the suck, we become restless, aimless, wandering. We are trying to find ground, balance, safety, and security. We desperately want to feel safe in a world that is everything but safe. We are desperate to have control over something uncontrollable.

When the world as we have known it is in freefall, all we can do is stand back and hope it doesn’t fall on us!

The temptation is to get swept up into the chaos of a world trying to die, believing that this chaos is our reality. IT IS NOT!  The chaos is only a symptom of a dying world. Beyond the chaos, or rather, below and within it, is the true reality – that of THE VOID. The Void is the space between death and new life. It is the Source of all that is and the emptiness from which all things come to be. The Void is the “No Thing.”  It is the ultimate place of peace, comfort, and hope. When we allow ourselves to be objective witness to the chaos swirling around us, and not get caught up in it, our wandering settles, our restlessness becomes calm, we are able to release our need for control, and we are able to simply meet life as it is with acceptance and surrender. Remembering, in the immortal words of J.R.R. Tolkien, not all who wander are lost.

Personal Mastery Training Programs:

Everything is a Practice

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Finding our way along the journey of self-actualization and personal mastery, we eventually come to the realization that everything is a practice. Whereas the early stages of our journey may have put us on the path to setting time aside each day for a dedicated mindfulness, contemplation, or meditation practice, we soon come to find out that our dedicated practice begins to spill out into the everyday experiences of our lives. Soon, everything becomes grist for the mill as we work to heal all within us that separates us from our original nature as love, while continuing to love the pieces that are not yet healed.

For me, this “everything practice” showed up in one extremely subtle and another powerfully obvious way.

I’ll begin with the extremely subtle:  I’ve been noticing in my daily practice an almost undetectable sorrow. It showed itself as a sorrow I could not initially name, but felt very deep and infinitely small. When I reached toward this sorrow, I perceived it as a tiny dot, no bigger than the end of a pencil. As it my practice, I’ve spent this week “working” on that dot of sorrow. Going toward it (instead of away). Pointing to it and “sending” healing. Holding the sorrow and asking what it had to say to me or teach me. The goal of this practice is to simply show up to that sorrow. In my experience, the fruits of this kind of practice eventually lead to healing and release, or alternatively, the revelation of something hiding behind the sorrow that seeks to be known. I’m still working on this piece, but I have gotten a glimpse of the original wound of separation that is just beyond this sorrow. That glimpse nearly gave me a panic attack, but I know that the only way to continue healing that wound is to stay with it.

The powerfully obvious way that everything presented itself as practice arose in a fit of rage. Without boring you with the gory details, suffice it to say that the rage was in the form of ranting resentment over a need for which I had requested support. The support was denied. To be honest, as I write this, I’m still pissed. First – because I rarely ask for help. Second because I should have known better.

What I do know, however, is that beyond the ranting and raving (which are appropriate inner responses to our needs not being met) is an old wound showing itself for another layer of healing – the wound of unmet needs. This is a pretty universal wound in that most people can share stories, experiences, conditioning, etc. in which their needs have gone unmet, or been flat-out rejected. Every time we have the courage to ask for help, and it is denied, a part of us feels like it has died. Heap up a lifetime of rejected and unmet needs, and the wound becomes a gaping hole. For myself personally, this is a wound I’ve given much time and attention to in the form of transformational practices. And, just like most everyone else, it’s a wound that still needs love. First, we have to work on healing the wound of rejection. Next, we tackle the wound of unmet needs. Finally, we do the work of meeting our own needs while setting appropriate boundaries around those who, due due to their own unhealed wounds (likely), are unable to be a reciprocal source of support for others.

From the very subtle to the greatest of charged emotions, everything is our self asking to be seen, known, and loved. This love, ultimately, is what our practice is all about.

The Things We Cling To

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

The journey toward self-actualization, enlightenment, individuation, and personal mastery (all words meaning essentially the same thing) is rough. In our western, capitalistic culture in which personal development has been commoditized, we’ve been told to expect unicorns and rainbows, when instead, we are faced with hellfire and brimstone. Personal mastery is not for the faint of heart. Neither is it for the weak. Instead, it requires persistence, discipline, and the willingness to confront and lay down every attachment and mask that hides us from our true selves.

Our true self is LOVE. Period.

Another way of describing the journey is the transformation of every single thing within us that has forgotten we are love. In doing so, we are simultaneously remembering how to love ourselves for all that we are – warts and all.

Self-actualization is not about perfection. Instead, it is about becoming increasingly aware of our human frailty and loving even that.

In coming to recognize, acknowledge, accept and love our imperfect perfection, we are invited to identify and release all the things we cling to that stand in the way of radical self-love. Much of what we cling to has been beaten into us by our culture. Some have surfaced out of past woundings. Many emerge out of trauma. Others we cling to simply because we are human. Here is my list of the things we cling to that are often the most difficult to release:

  • The desire to belong.
  • The need for approval from others.
  • The longing to be seen.
  • The yearning to be heard.
  • The need to be right.
  • The desire to know.
  • The need to be in control.
  • The yearning to be desired.
  • The habits, patterns, behaviors, status to which we have become familiar.
  • The illusion of success.
  • Conditioned beliefs about value and achievement.
  • Our health.
  • Life.

The truth of the human experience is that everything is temporary and nothing can be controlled. We are not here to make other people happy. Neither are we here to gain other people’s approval. Belonging is an illusion, and it is only the false self that needs to be seen, heard, or loved. Our value is not dependent on any one else’s definition or rules of measurement.

We have value, and are loved, simply because we are. When we remember the Love that we are, and release these attachments, only then are we free enough to love ourselves for all that we are, and to see that love in others – no matter how broken we or the other might appear.

Releasing the things we cling to most stubbornly brings us into the field of personal mastery. There might not be unicorns or rainbows here, but there is true and enduring freedom.

Tools for Releasing Attachments

Is Your God too Small?

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

This past weekend an article came out in which Kim Kardashian, after failing the bar exam, was complaining about all the money she spent on psychics who all told her she would pass, and how duped she felt by them. My response was “duh.” Relying on psychics to determine your success seems naïve ( at best). Especially when (in my personal experience), many (if not most) psychics are happy to take your money and then tell you exactly what you want to hear.

This article isn’t about psychics. Neither is it about Kim Kardashian. What inspired me to pen this musing was the comment thread relating to Kim’s rant. In the comments an individual wrote, “You block God’s blessings when you mess with that stuff.”  I suggested to the commenter that her God might be too small. She said, “I’m Catholic do with that what you will.”  I chuckled because I’m Catholic too (kind of) and the “God” I have come to know is way too big to be limited by the likes of a few psychics, or by those who would turn to psychics for “guidance.” I am of the firm belief that there is NOTHING that can limit or block God – the Presence, Power, Providence or Grace of God.

“I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God” Romans 8: 38-39

Turning to a psychic doesn’t “block God’s blessings.” All that happens is that we are giving away our own power to reason, discern, and exercise our own truth by putting someone outside of us in the position of power. The same is true when we give anyone the power to determine the path of our lives – parents, teachers, religious leaders, government officials, partners, etc. etc. etc. The only true and reliable authority dwells within us in our connection and union with that which I call “God.”

If you grew up in any kind of Christian denomination, the “God” you were taught was most likely the old man in the sky God – the one Jesus called Abwoon – which has most often been translated as “father.” This “father” God was then painted into the image of either a vengeful, wrathful, punitive father, or one of great compassion like the father in the story of the Prodigal Son – in other words, a God made in our image.  

Even the Catholic Church eschews these images of God in humankind’s image:

God is neither man nor woman. God is pure spirit in which there is no place for the difference between the sexes. (Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 370)

Jesus taught of a God who is Spirit who is all-loving and who is present within us, among us, and all around us. John, in his letters, called God Love (1 John 4). And yet, even the Catholic Church who teaches these scriptures and authored the Catechism, often preaches of a God who is too small. (Hence the woman who believes a psychic has the power to block God).

I, however, refuse to allow God to be limited by the threats of the inquisition, the local Church, by Bishops, priests, or congregants who seem to have missed the whole entire point of Jesus’ teachings. There is nothing greater than the Love that made us, surrounds us, and dwells within us. Even our own forgetting of or disbelief in God is not enough to separate us from that Love. It is our origin, our true nature, and our ultimate destination, for at the end of the day, Love is all there is and there is nothing that can block that.

Ugh!

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

For the thirty-or-so of you who continue to read my articles, thank you for your patience these past few weeks. In short – this care-giver is all cared out! I know in this I’m not alone.

The past several weeks have been heavy with intensity, anxiety, and dare I say, INSANITY. When I think things just can’t get worse in our world another shoe drops.  Just when I pray, “surely this is the tipping point that will bring the whole house of cards down upon itself,” it is not. It seems instead of wholesale collapse, the empire is dying one mortar chip at a time.

And we are all exhausted from the waiting and weighting. It is heavy work to be a visionary, prophet, lightworker, healer, starborne, starseed, and carer when the only paradigm we have ever known is coming to it’s self-created violent ending. Moreso even than the system itself, we have been bearing, upholding, and supporting those who are finding themselves anxious, frantic, nervous, and worried in the face of a collapse about which they may not even be aware. We have been a source of support for others while desperately trying to be support for ourselves.

For the past several weeks, I have found myself in complete survival mode. Between a world in collapse and some new (not really) health issues that have surfaced, it’s all I can do to get out of bed in the morning – not because I’m depressed – because I am bone weary and soul tired. On my good days, I’m honored when people seek me out for support. On my bad days, I’m sick to death of other people’s shit. (Not everyone’s shit….just those unwilling to tend to their own work.)

Does this make me a bad person? No, it just means I’m tired and as usual, excruciatingly human.

Humans exhaust me. When I’m tired, unwell, impatient, frustrated, and fumbling, I exhaust myself. Again, I know I’m not alone in this. I likely exhaust others. (ha ha).  But seriously, so many who reach out to me speak of their own disgust with themselves.

When the world is turning itself inside out, we can no longer survive as the person we once thought of ourselves as being. As the masks behind which the human-made world are falling away and the evil behind it all is being revealed, our masks also must fall. The masks I have worn are those of perfectionist, good-girl, straight A student, achiever, hard worker, honest, strong, brave, courageous, fiercely independent, and generously loving. Behind these masks, I am these things, but not always. I too am vulnerable, anxious, terrified, jealous, petty, unforgiving, harsh, and the deceit I indulge is that of people pleaser.  “I’m fine,” is a bold-faced lie and while I have love of all humanity, I sometimes wish a violent death upon those I call my enemies – or at the very least – a heaping portion of karmic retribution.

As the world has been collapsing and masks have been torn away, so too have we been forced to admit the full truth of who we are. We can no longer hide behind the expectations of a capitalistic patriarchal society.  Neither can we live under the burden of the driving, striving, and blind ambition favored by our world.

We must live our truth – or die. “Just hanging on” is no longer enough. Instead, we are invited to LET IT ALL GO. Quit trying to fit in. Quit lying to ourselves. Quit trying to be strong. Quit trying to help or care for those unwilling to help themselves. Quit forcing ourselves to take action where no action is needed and where our gifts have been denied. Quit denying the reality of aging and the physical consequences of illness.  Instead, we’re invited to embrace them. (Hollywood, Instagram, etc. beauty standards are simply another part of a world that is dying. Have you seen what is happening to Hollywood actresses? So many of them now look like corpses.  Gross!) Quit pretending we are well when we are not. Quit “faking it to make it.”

And more than anything else:  DARE to love yourself enough to choose what is life-giving for you, even/especially when what is best is to sleep.

And finally, DO NOT forget that if you are one who sees and believes in the hope of a new world, this new world is being born through you. As such, your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies are hard at work growing and getting ready to birth that new world. Be gentle and loving toward yourself as you would be with a brand new babe. In this birthing, we are fragile and vulnerable. Treat yourself as such!

With love,

Lauri

You, Me, and the Apocalypse

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

caring for ourselves during societal collapse

I don’t know how many times I have to write about this for me to get it, but here we are again. (a nod of gratitude to the Netflix series of the same name for the title of today’s musing)

We are living through the collapse of the empire – the world as we have known it – and unless we are somehow benefitting from said-collapse, we are negatively feeling it.  The impact of this collapse has a universal component – some suffering more than others from the almost nuclear fallout of an unsustainable system imploding upon itself. The recent battle over SNAP benefits and healthcare subsidies are two such examples.

As an empath, I am feeling the effects of this collapse mostly physically. My whole body hurts. I’ve had a headache and vertigo for a week. I’m exhausted. My anxiety feels palpable. It feels as if my entire system is collapsing under the weight of what I have no choice but to see, hear, and feel. This seeing, hearing, and feeling, are coming out in symptoms that might even be concerning. Is the collapsing world actually killing me?  On some days it feels like it might.

I could repeat what I have already written ad nauseum about the inevitability of this collapse. Suffice it to say, humanity brought this upon itself in creating systems built on fear, power, and control. Systems built on anything other than unity and love cannot endure. Henceforth, here we are.

Being that we have no control over this collapse and there is nothing we can do to save humanity from themselves, what are we to do? The short answer is this: CARE FOR OURSELVES. As is always true, the only person over whom we have any measure of control (even this is debatable), is ourselves.

For empaths, and others feeling the weight of societal collapse, caring for ourselves means turning the tables on the societal rules that have kept us imprisoned by achievement, duty and obedience to the system. No longer can we (or should we) attempt to continue at the pace expected of us by western society. “Drive, strive, achieve,” in and of themselves are unsustainable. For the sake of our own well-being, many of us will have to unplug from this paradigm, creating space for ourselves where we are of value, simply for who we are, not what we do. This is a difficult task as we have been conditioned by lifetimes of reproach and shame to live by society’s rules.

Humanity was never meant to exist in a hierarchy. Instead, we were meant to live in collaborative support of one another – ensuring that the needs of the all, not just the few, are met.

Caring for ourselves begins by saying no. Saying no to anything and everything that is not life-giving. Saying no to the expectations of others. Saying no to the enculturated shoulds. Saying no to manipulation, fear, power, and control.

Saying no starts with identification. How has the system attempted to manipulate you? (advertising is one obvious example, as is the entire system of politics). Where have you been told you were less-than because of something that is inherently you (skin color, gender, sexual orientation, neurodiversity, economic status, ability to work, etc.)? Where have you been taught to feel shame for your needs, emotions, way of moving through the world.

Shame is the number one weapon of the status quo, and thereby, the collapsing system. Unlearning shame is one of the most important and helpful things you can do for yourself.

After learning to say no, the next step in caring for ourselves is learning how to say yes. Saying yes to all those things that we need to feel supported. Say yes to naps. Say yes to acts of coziness. Say yes to that which feeds you emotionally, mentally, and physically. Say yes to what feeds your soul, gives you joy, and makes you feel content.

Life is not about meaning. Neither are we here to find fulfilment. We are here to find peace in the midst of the human experiment even/especially when the experiment seems to be failing. Caring for ourselves means finding equanimity in the violent throes of societal collapse while being open to the rapturous visions of something new trying to take its place.

How are you surviving this apocalyptic time?

Support for these times:

Perfection vs. Wholeness

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

There exists a major flaw in the new age, self-improvement, enlightenment, and ascension industries:

The goal of human development is not perfection.

Instead, it is wholeness.

Wholeness means that we are content and grounded in ourselves “warts and all.” Whereas we may be ever-striving for personal growth, individuation, and self-actualization, we have moved beyond picking apart and shaming ourselves for the inherent imperfections of being human. While self-awareness and personal accountability provide evidence of psychological and emotional maturity, wholeness allows for the fact that mistakes will still occur and that our value is not diminished by those mistakes. Wholeness empowers us to understand that the mind is going to do what the mind is meant to do – which is to keep us safe, and that our thoughts alone have absolutely nothing to do with the events of our lives. We have gained the wisdom in acknowledging that life happens and that we are neither the creator nor the destroyer of our fate. When illness or tragedy strike, we allow ourselves time and space for grieving without the added burden of the shame-based beliefs that these were somehow our fault because of our thinking or punishment for something we did “wrong.”

Wholeness understands that life itself is neutral and free from judgment. Life is not out to get people. Neither does life choose favorites. Each human being is here for their own journey – a journey that really has nothing to do with our own. Wholeness leaves each to their own. This does not mean, however, that in wholeness we don’t judge, condemn, curse, or rage about the actions of another. This is simply us being human. Life doesn’t judge. Humans do.

Wholeness allows for the gritty aspects of our humanness. Whereas we may be actively pursuing a reduction in judgement (of self and others), a decrease in anxiety, a lessening of rage, a dwindling of jealousy, we recognize that we are not here to be perfect, we are here to be human.

As human beings, we are perfectly imperfect. So what if we rage on about the injustices in our world, or hold grudges against those who have harmed us? None of these means we have failed in our desire to ascend, grow in enlightenment, or become self-actualized. In fact, if we can forgive ourselves of our humanness, and take each “mistake” as a lesson, then we have successfully grown in wholeness.

Wholeness, not perfection is the purpose of the human journey. Isn’t it time we shake free of the burden of shame, including that which has been heaped upon us by a self-help industry wrapped up in its own illusions of perfection while denying people of the Love that they already are?

Enriching Your Practice

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