Personal Mastery

Humanity’s Only Hope

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

As humanity approaches the brink of its own extinction, my thoughts have turned to a single question: What if anything will save them? The answer is simple but is likely not something humanity wants to hear or do because the answer lies, not outside of them, but within.

Along with casting blame outside of them, humanity also loves projecting solutions. They’re waiting for a messiah, a savior, the Second Coming – really anyone other than themselves to fix what is wrong and make everything right again.

The problem is that humanity did this to themselves by forgetting who they are while denying the inherent power they have within. Instead, they have attributed this power to gods, kings, priests, and popes. In this grand forfeiture, humanity created a hierarchy assigning value according to one’s place within the hierarchy, leaving most human beings out of the equation – thereby reducing themselves to slaves.

Humanity has become enslaved to the very people they gave their power to. The only way out of this imprisonment is for humanity to take their own power back, by remembering who they are. (Change NEVER comes from those who benefit from keeping humanity small.)

Remembering who we are, however, is easier said than done. It’s not something you can purchase from the latest new age teacher or shaman, neither is it something that can be completed in a weekend workshop or retreat. Instead, true remembrance can only be accomplished through a many-years long practice requiring discipline, persistence, diligence, and radical personal accountability.

Remembering who we are is a slow and patient process of identifying and stripping away the layers of who we are not in order to uncover the treasure of who we are. Then we have to practice what we are remembering until it is no longer just a practice, but becomes fully integrated within us.

Remembering who we are leads us to answering the following questions:

  • Who am I?
  • Whose am I?
  • What are my unique gifts and how am I called to engage in them for my own fulfillment and then share them for the betterment of the world?

In a nutshell, remembering who we are is about identifying our gifts and then healing the infinite number of layers of woundedness, trauma, betrayal, rejection, and societal conditioning that has told us we aren’t gifted and our gifts don’t matter (have no value).

Remembering our gifts requires radical accountability, humility, and the willingness to be vulnerable. In this search, we become aware of the defense mechanisms we have honed so that we might have the illusion of being safe in an unsafe world. Those defense mechanisms might include: jealousy, self-righteousness, prejudice, racism (conscious or unconscious), sexism, a compulsion toward revenge, pride, manipulation, and more. We are also invited to explore our own place within the hierarchy and the privilege we gain from that, along with how we might use that privilege to elevate ourselves while repressing others.

Remembering who we are is the true hero’s journey. It takes courage, determination (often to the point of being stubborn), and the willingness to learn from our failures.  Because, fail we will. Remembering and Being/Living are two different things.

Failure is predictable. When we gain a glimpse of remembrance, all our resistance to change rises up to challenge us. More than death, humanity fears change. As such, we cling to our defense mechanisms, we hang on to the status quo, we are terrified at the prospect of losing who and what we know.

Loss is integral to the journey of remembrance. More specifically – letting go. In order to live more and more fully as our true selves, we must let go of all that which hinders that remembrance.  This includes friends, jobs, relationships, places of perceived belonging, perceived status, etc. While we may find some measure of comfort in the familiar, there is no liberation or freedom there.

If humanity truly wants to be free, it must remember itself because at the heart of this remembrance is LOVE. Love, more than anything, is who we are. When we remember the Love that we are, it changes everything – how we move in the world, how we treat fellow human beings, how we come together in cooperation as a species, and how we treat our world.

Love is humanity’s only hope and is the key for each individually to find contentment in this life regardless of what is happening “out there.”

Being Who You Are

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

As we move through this powerfully transformative time, under this new moon with seven celestial bodies stacked up in Aries, we are invited to examine our SELF – WHO we truly are. This is not about titles (ie: witch, priestess, mother, healer, poet, writer, counselor) it is about our truest nature – who we are at our core, something that has been part of us our entire lives, something we cannot help but be. This is not about what we do, but who we are BEING because our true nature is not a noun, it is a verb. As you reflect on this, for yourself, I share with you how I arrived at the answer for myself:

For my entire life I have been able to see. Specifically, I am able to see the truth beyond appearances – the truth beyond the veil – the truth behind the masks people present to the world. I’ve been able to see the severe mental illness that drove the abusive actions of two grade school teachers. I saw the lie behind “terminal diagnosis” of a family “friend.” I’ve seen the truth behind lies that have been told to my face. Less dramatic than this, I see the unhealed wounds, insecurities, and pain behind the façade many present to the world.

For me, it’s easy to see the sorrow, anger, pain, deception, betrayal, etc. behind which all humans hide, but equally so, I see the potential waiting to be liberated from behind these unhealed wounds. For those who have the willingness and courage, I have been a resource for healing and moving beyond these wounds. For those with nothing to hide, being seen provides a gift of affirmation along with an expression of love.

I am grateful for this gift of seeing, but the reality is not everyone wants to be seen. Even fewer want to do the work of healing those areas of imprisonment within them. As such, this ability to see has often felt like more of a curse than a gift. Teachers who made me their enemy through no fault of my own. Classmates who hated me for no apparent reason. Strangers and acquaintances who shy away from my presence because there is something in them that becomes unconsciously aware of being seen – and they do not want to be seen.

People’s inner demons run from me. At times, I can hear them hissing. At other times, their demons come at me filled with projections, accusations, excuses, insults, etc. Recently, I challenged a long-time acquaintance for their prejudice against the working poor (saying if they just applied belief and effort they wouldn’t be poor). They came back at me with aggression and insults. Their demon of unconscious shame, hiding behind white male privilegem was not happy about being seen.

I can’t help that I see. It’s part of who I am. I see the good, and the bad. The holy and the unholy. Most often, I’m not really doing anything with this seeing, I just see. And some become extremely uncomfortable in my presence because they don’t want to be seen. For most of my life, I have taken the other person’s negative reactions personally. It’s my fault they feel uncomfortable. Now I’m a target for their wrath or a projection for their shame. I’ve been rejected, avoided, ignored, condemned, harassed, abused, and punished for simply seeing.

But this week, under this crazy Aries New Moon pile-up, with seven celestial bodies in Aries, a hugely transformational awareness has surfaced.  At the heart of this awareness is the invitation to completely and fully own WHO I AM  – specifically that for which I have been rejected and condemned, which has then caused me to shy away from or hide my gift.

This week, I was provided with a visceral experience that demonstrated to me the impact my seeing has on someone who does not want to be seen, along with the unconscious reaction that arose in them upon being seen. I literally felt the individual attempt to put up an energetic wall between us, and I could hear/feel their (we’ll call it) shame hissing at me. At the same time, I became aware of my own unconscious (at the time) reaction to their “rejection.” I felt my energy turn in on itself, packing itself away in a quiet place to hide. I felt myself attempting to become invisible.

I used this startling experience for deep reflection. What was happening? Why did I react that way? Why did THEY react that way. I don’t yet have the full answer to my quandary about how to use this awareness for my own healing and growth but in this moment it feels a little like this:

I AM Seeing. For those wanting to be truly seen, it is a gift. For those who do not, their conscious or (more commonly) unconscious reaction is not a rejection of me, it is a rejection of themselves. And that demon who is hissing at me as it defends its host, has zero power over me because when I SEE the demon, it no longer has power over me.

What is the BEING you are invited to more fully embrace and no longer hide from the world (or yourself)?

Not Sure Who You Are?

Learn more HERE

The Order of the Magdalene Training provides the resources and tools to answer and live the answers to the following questions:

Who am I?

Whose am I?

What are my gifts and how am I being invited to share those gifts for the sake of my own fulfillment and in service to the betterment of the world.

Preparing for Splashdown

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

As I write this, I am coming off a morning of relentless “spiritual 911” calls. Those who have my private number, checking in with the same set of “symptoms,” and wondering if the cause of the symptoms is their own, or relating to the world. And wondering, what, if anything, they can do about it.

The short answer: it is most definitely the world.

The longer answer: a certain someone can step on their own d*ck only so many times before toppling over onto their own house of cards. This Sunday’s actions herald the beginning or perhaps the end) of the end. Whether by Congress, or the Supreme Court, or by some other yet to be revealed source, the pressure cooker in which we’ve been living is coming to an end.

The anxiety that so many are currently feeling is at once, the natural trepidation over what all will be destroyed as the end draws near, and the very real knowledge of the conflicting cavalcade of emotions roiling about in preparation for what is soon to be.

The what will be is two-fold: a complete and total meltdown of a system that has imprisoned humanity for thousands of years and the simultaneous splashdown of a whole new world and way of living together as human beings.

That is…..if “he” doesn’t destroy us all first.

The if, what, and how of the meltdown/splashdown is not ours to know. It is not something for which we can plan. The only thing we can do is be with what is as it is unfolding. As we are being with the unfolding, we are invited to be sources of healing and support for ourselves and others. The “what is” and “what will be” is not personal. It is simply the throes of a system  facing its own death. As sensitive human beings, however, we will be feeling it:  anxiety, pressure, headaches, body pain, restlessness, impatient, sorrowful, angry, even depressed. That which arises in us is a bit of our own fear, but more likely it is the feelings of the collective. Whether it is ours or belongs to someone else, we are not powerless.  Instead, this is our invitation to become empowered.

Here are some practices I have found to be helpful as the world is working out its own shit:

  1. Witness: I have learned that these energies are ours to fix or heal. Instead, they simply want to be seen and acknowledged. When feeling the rise of anxiety or pressure, close your eyes, envision the fear, anxiety, grief, etc. in your minds eye…..and just look at it. No judgement – just witnessing and acknowledging. As we bear it witness, it eventually dissipates and we are restored to peace.
  2. Nothing is Personal: These discordant energies, for the most part, are not our own. These are the manifestation of collective consciousness (what some might call demons)  – the energies that have arisen out of 5000 years of human enslavement which are losing their power over us. These energies have become “living things” intent on their own survival – they don’t give up easily. And yet, Love is winning, and these energies are losing their power. As they are preparing for their departure, they are making themselves known. Think of these “demons” you are feeling as asking you to see them as they say goodbye. (Don’t let the screen door hit you on the ass as you leave little demons!  Bye!)
  3. It’s just a movie: I don’t mean this to be dismissive of the very real feelings we are having as the world around us implodes. But when we allow ourselves to cultivate detachment, we are able to distance ourselves a bit from the intensity. I find it helpful to think of it like watching a movie. I mean, seriously, art has been showing us all along where we are going and life itself has become more ridiculous than art. I did not have a war between POTUS and Pope on my 2026 bingo card! It’s actually kind of hilarious. I just wonder, is it a Divine Comedy or a Comedy of Errors. Maybe both! 
  4. You are not alone: Check in with your team/tribe/support system. If you are feeling off, overwhelmed, terrified as the system burns itself to the ground, seek support. It may be as simply as texting a close friend, “Hey, are you feeling this too or am I losing my mind?”  Most likely, it’s the former. And if your trusted friend circle isn’t enough, reach out to a professional you trust.
  5. Prepare for Splashdown: As the old world continues its dying, the new world is coming into form. At this point, we have no idea what this new world will look like, or what our roles will be in that world. We can, however, be attentive in our own lives to what is asking to leave so that room can be made for the new. We are also invited to pay attention, specifically to what feeds us and gives us joy – and be more of that. Every decision we make, not out of fear, but out of love, joy, and compassion, becomes a seed from which the new will take root and come into being.
  6. More than anything – BE LOVE. Be love to yourself. Be love to your loved ones. And most difficult of all – be LOVE to your (perceived) enemies. We may find ourselves surprised at who people become on the other side of this collapse and the love that they might need. Even the AntiChrist longs to know Love.

Immobilized

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Exploring Healer Fatigue and Empath Paralysis

Since February 28, 2026, when the US and Israel launched their war against Iran, I have found myself immobile – unable to accomplish anything other than what is absolutely essential. Somedays, even the essentials are left on the sidelines. It’s not that I’m fixated on the war, perseverating over what is happening along with the possible outcomes, or even actively worried.

Being made immobile is just another symptom of being an empath and a healer.

I can’t help it. Even when I tell myself, “I’m accomplishing this today,” I find I cannot. I can’t say that I’m depressed or even anxious. Instead, I am simply aware that as humanity is trying to destroy itself, my BEING is actively working on behalf of this suicidal species.

All the oil in the world is not worth the wholesale destruction of a nation – especially as the US and Israel are actively destroying the very oil they say they are after. I call foul! We know this war isn’t about oil. Neither is it about Iran’s “oppressive” regime. The ones truly in need of regime change are those who shot the first shot. I digress…

My point is that if you are an empath, a healer, a lightworker, you may also be finding yourself immobilized – Unable to do – only allowed to BE.

As much as I want to deny or ignore the “whoo whoo” that would even suggest such a thing could be possible, I am increasingly finding it is the only thing that truly makes sense. As a practical, hard-working, first-born Capricorn, I have taken great pride in my ability to be productive – to get things done, and to be somewhat in control of my fate. All these points of pride have flown out the window the closer we come to human extinction.

Instead:

I have had to become excruciatingly comfortable with doing nothing, while believing in the invisible magic of simply being. With zero tangible evidence, I have had to rely on the faith that all this doing of nothing is amounting to something. I have had to force myself to trust that while it may appear as if I’m unproductive, I am being used for some higher purpose. Without knowing what I’m doing, how it’s being done, or what the impact may or may not be, I have had to believe that all will be well – especially when every material example says otherwise. Because no matter the amount of effort or thought I put into DOING – every effort has failed.

These are the days I wish someone would wave a magic wand and I would simply and confidently believe that as I am immobilized, a higher purpose is being fulfilled. My intention has always been to be a vessel through which Love can be made real in our world, and my prayer has been, “I am the servant of the Lord Love. Let it be done to me according to your word.” Perhaps this is my prayer being answered.

Who is the Real Enemy?

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

The unfolding revelation

If I could condense the last ten years into a single statement of purpose, it would be this:

To make us see the true enemy.

Are you seeing it yet?

Hint: it may not be what you think.

In 2016 (likely LONG before that), certain powers stepped in, thinking that they would wrest power, control, and ludicrous wealth from, not only the American people, but the entire world. They have succeeded in this – disgustingly so. But at the same time, they have been showing us, if not who they are, WHAT they are:

PURE UNADULTERATED EVIL

I do not use this term lightly. There are truly no other words in our language that accurately describe those who would gladly sacrifice human lives and the planet for the sake of their own self-interest.

Initially, we may not have seen or understood the true intentions hidden behind the actions of those who have been tasked with carrying out Evil’s intention. By increasing frequency, however, they are showing us the hidden agenda behind what we might now identify as distractions.

To see this hidden agenda, and its true source (which I will call the enemy), we must have eyes willing to see and the courage to endure the disruption to our status quo.

The enemy’s purpose is to disturb, disrupt, and distract, and it does so by sowing division.

When we believe each other is the enemy, the true enemy succeeds in its mission. As we have been busy pointing the finger of blame at each other, the enemy is getting away with murder – and r*pe, abuse, and theft. In the accomplishment of their evil purpose, they have destroyed our planet, stolen the innocence of children, and taken the lives of millions of human beings.

The work of the enemy serves only themselves, but as they’ve been busy stealing our livelihood and peace from us, they have successfully cast us in a war between ourselves.  “Pay no attention to the evil men behind the curtain – it’s your neighbor who is the enemy.”

We’ve been pitted against each other, but as time has marched on, increasing numbers of us are beginning to see the ruse. And with each new “crisis” created by the enemy, and propagated by their minions, we are being given another opportunity to see the truth behind the distraction:

  • Assassinations and assassination attempts.
  • Foreign wars.
  • Random military actions.
  • Tariffs.
  • Gas prices.
  • Eggs.
  • Toilet paper.
  • Epstein (both a distraction AND a big fat arrow pointing at the stronghold of evil).
  • Renaming buildings.
  • Building ballrooms.
  • Threatening the take-over of foreign nations.
  • Spreading falsehoods about nuclear weapons.

Etc. etc. etc.  With each of these actions, we are thrown into a panic, and our resilience is tested.

The enemy wants us to be afraid. They want us to be preoccupied by each successive “crisis.”
Panic clouds our ability to reason, discern truth from fiction, and see our world clearly. When we remain in a state blinded by fear, we are easier to manipulate. Look how easily we fell into hating each other during the pandemic when the true enemy was never ourselves, it was always those who benefitted from a world in fear.

To quote the Bene Gesserit sisterhood, “Fear is the mind-killer.” The enemy knows this and has been using fear as a weapon against us. But as the sisterhood taught, we have a choice about how we respond to that fear. We decide if we allow fear to be used against us, or if we, instead, find our way through it – to the truth.

The lesson that the last ten years has been trying to teach us is how to see the truth behind the chaos and confusion.  It is not the surface things that are our enemy, it is the EVIL that lies beneath it. As more and more of us are seeing the truth beyond the illusion, EVIL is losing its power.

This then, is your practice. WHEN a new crisis is paraded before you and you feel the tentacles of fear creeping up your back, STOP. Acknowledge the fear. Name it. Then ask yourself, “who benefits from me being afraid (or caught up in the chaos)?” An easy hint: follow the money. Then SEE the evil for what it is. If the who presents itself, see that too. Then STOP again. Don’t give your power to that evil. Instead, find the peace within. It is in this peace that your power resides.

A short cut for the current “war” against Iran. This war has nothing to do with a nation wanting to free Iran of its oppressive leaders. Instead, it has everything to do with money – money made by stockholders through the industry of war, and money that promises to be made from Iranian oil. Included in this is a certain nation’s gluttonous desire for land and power which further supports the intentions of evil.

Political crises are rarely what they seem.

Freeing Ourselves from Demons

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

I want to start out by saying I do not believe in “demons” in the classical sense of a dude in a red unitard sporting horns and carrying a pitchfork. Instead, I perceive of demons more in the psychological sense of fears, both inside and outside of us, that influence our beliefs, our actions, and our behaviors. These are the fears that have arisen from within us in response to all the things we have seen and experienced that have made us forget our original nature as Love. These fears manifest as “demons” in both a microcosmic and macrocosmic sense – the former as our own personal non-loving beliefs and behaviors, the latter manifesting as organizations and institutions who get their (perceived) power through these fears.

It was the latter that I bore witness to this past weekend and from which, on this fourth day, I am only just recovering. For the sake of the innocent, I will simply say this – I attended an event that throughout the duration, I felt the overwhelming need to flee. Being there for the sake of people very dear to me, I made myself stay, all the while finding myself cringing inside from an energy I couldn’t quite identify. I witnessed and heard things that made me want to scream and other things that broke my heart. I witnessed very little (of what I would call) truth and a lot of what I would call lies. I chastised myself for “being so judgmental” while also experiencing deep confusion over what I thought I knew. It took all of my personal energy to sit still and remain silent (mostly) in the face of what – at the time – I couldn’t quite name. When the event came to its conclusion, I hugged those dear to me and left. I have spent the last four days recovering and trying to make sense of what I had experienced.

Here’s the instructional part of this writing:

There are so many ways I could have responded to this experience. I could have simply wrapped my own blanket of self-righteousness around me, making myself right and what I witnessed wrong. I could have made the decision to close my heart’s door to the hosts of the event, brushing them off as “evil” or “ignorant.” I could have chased down friends of like mind to help me make sense of the overwhelming confusion I felt. I could have gone home and just remained sick and depressed. Instead, I brought the entire experience into my prayer. This was the first reminder I received:

Confusion is the work of the devil.

Confusion isn’t a failure on my part, or a result of me not understanding or agreeing to something. Confusion is a symptom of “the devil” (ie fear) at work. So I brought this confusion into my prayer. I sat with it. I felt it. I drew myself into it. I asked it to show me what was at the heart of this confusion.  As I sat with the confusion, I eventually saw the fear, along with what some had wrapped around themselves in an attempt to absolve themselves of this fear. FEAR imprisoned behind a mask of religious zeal, perceived certainty, righteousness, and exclusivity.

Once I identified the confusion, the fear behind it, and the bars behind which the fear was imprisoned, all the “ick” I had been feeling simply lifted from my being. I felt clear and my peace was restored, and with that my own temptation to judge was replaced with compassion. I immediately felt deeply sad for those who have become imprisoned by their fear and have forgotten the infinite Truth of Love. I then brought MYSELF into my prayer – so that I might be freed of my own temptation to judge, to divide, to proclaim a monopoly on truth, and to sit on my own throne of self-righteousness. At the end of the day, who am I to “judge” how others respond to fear. If containment gives someone peace, then who am I to project my own compulsion for unlimited freedom onto them?

Because here’s the real deal with demons – what we judge outside of ourselves is a reflection of what still needs healing within ourselves, and sometimes we can’t see it in ourselves until it is standing right in front of us. Hello mirror!

Another note about “demons.” Sometimes what we call judgment isn’t judgment at all, but is our inner truth barometer (discernment) alerting us to things around us that are not in alignment with our own truth. Perhaps this was what I was feeling at this event more than anything else – a felt sense within me of misalignment. I’m not wrong. They’re not wrong. I was simply feeling that their truth was not my truth and I can honor that. I don’t need to defend my truth. Neither do I need to point out the “error” in theirs. I can be witness to the Love that is present even (especially) when it is being lived out differently than mine. Because – at the end of the day, we are all afraid and demons exist only in our minds. We decide what power we give to them, or if instead, we hold them in Love.

For additional training in overcoming “demons”

Sexualizing the Magdalene

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

In short – DON’T!

I just finished reading a book that was recently recommended to me about Mary Magdalene. I will start by saying it was a good recommendation. There were parts of the book that resonated with me on some level. At the same time, there were portions of the narrative that DID NOT resonate with me at all.  In fact, I found them disturbing and unsettling. They triggered rage in me. Rage over the following question:

Why do some authors find it necessary to sexualize the Magdalene to tell her story? 

I admit, my NOVEL, Song of the Beloved – the Gospel According to Mary Magdalene included an experience of sexual assault, and an experience between Jesus and Mary Magdalene in their marriage bed was hinted at, but in my mind, there is a difference between including the realities of the human journey (ie: 1 out of 4 women have experienced sexual assault) and describing the source of the Magdalene’s power as dependent on her beauty and what is and what is done between her legs. Perhaps this is all about my Venus in Capricorn, but I find the sexualizing of the Magdalene insulting and gross.

Can sexual intimacy be a beautiful, even transcendent spiritual experience through which one might encounter “God?”  Absolutely. Is it a necessary, even required component in one’s spiritual awakening and personal empowerment? History tells us no. Is it possible that Mary Magdalene and Jesus, in addition to being emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically intimate, experienced sexual intimacy – absolutely. Whereas there exists no scholarly evidence to support that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married (or had children), this too is not beyond possibility.

With none of this do I take issue. I do, however, take issue with authors who use sex to sell their Magdalene stories.  First, it’s lazy. Then I find myself offended. I find myself especially disgusted when authors choose to describe both sexual assault and “spiritual initiation” in unnecessarily explicit detail – and then try to pass it off as truth.

In sexualizing the Magdalene, these authors are no better than early Church leaders (specifically Pope Gregory I (540-604 C.E.)), who claimed the Magdalene to be the sinful woman mentioned in the gospels, a claim that has no foundation in scripture, but is still the common belief today.

Despite the efforts of scholars and laypeople alike, the Magdalene continues to be judged as less-than, when in fact, she was a woman of power, near-equal (if not equal) to Jesus. Moreover, as was the case with Pope Gregory, it is her sexuality by which she has been judged. Modern authors have continued this trend by attempting to sanctify women’s sexuality by suggesting it is the source of her power. This is both an insult and an assault against both women and men. Our personal power has nothing to do with sex.

To further describe the so-called hiero-gamos as a necessary step in human enlightenment reduces human beings to simply sexual creatures. To say it is by manual or coital manipulation that one becomes awakened is a corruption of the purpose of both sexual intimacy and the human journey of self-realization. To say that either Mary Magdalene or Jesus reached the height of their awakening solely through sexual rituals diminishes the inherent power of both. To remove sexual intimacy from love, insults the very mission that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were trying to accomplish.

The Source of Mary Magdalene’s power (and Jesus’ for that matter) had nothing to do with her appearance, her desirability to men, or with her sexual nature. The Source of Mary Magdalene’s power was within – in the Love that she had come to know as herself, and the Love she was in the world. This Being Love is the message and purpose of the Magdalene. To suggest anything else is to have missed the whole entire point.  

Teachings of the Magdalene

Between Two Worlds

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 1 Comment

Sisters and brothers, I am writing this from a place between time and space – a space between two worlds – between a world that has been and a world that is yet to be. The world as we have known it has been dying – rapidly and violently – accompanied by a cacophony of voices – some crying out in rage, others wailing out loss, many mumbling in confusion, and some have simply grown silent out of either shock or fatigue.

There is no judgment here. There is no right or wrong way of processing a catastrophic end. We are all simply trying to survive an end we predicted but could never have imagined would be this bad.

It is shocking to see the ever-unfolding revelation of human corruption. Every day we are met with another all-time low:

Oh my God this is bad.

Oh my God, this is really bad!

Oh my God, it can’t get worse than this!

Yes, it can. And yes, it likely will. But the news isn’t all bad. In fact, even the worst of what we have seen so far is good (or at the very least, serving a higher good) when we see it through the proper lens. For the end to finally come (come on already!), every single falsehood upon which the illusion of freedom has been built must be revealed to be seen. Every single corruption upon which the Empire was built must show itself. Every failure of the system must be known. Every lie, every betrayal, every evil, every sin, must come forth so that when the current system finally completes its collapse, we will know what needs to be different as we build the world that is yet to be.

But we’re not there yet. Right now, we are in the gap. The gap between what is dying and what is yet to be. In the gap, we wait. We watch. We observe. We protect each other. We do our best to keep ourselves and each other safe. We mark the outrage. We speak truth to power. We hold ourselves and our loved ones as we grieve. We extend kindness to each other as together we are simply trying to survive a world in its demise. We allow ourselves the fallow time to simply be as our body, minds, and spirit process the horrors, the tragedies, and the fear – our own and that of the collective.

Now is not the time to build. Now is the time to HOLD. To hold on to center as best we can – knowing that as tragedies strike, we will get pulled away from center in our anger and our grief. We honor our need to rage, to speak out, to defend. And then we bring ourselves back – TO LOVE. Love that can see beyond the surface violence to the unraveling of corruption. Love that can see the tragic woundedness of men that would make them want to perpetuate violence. Love that sees the actions of Love in a sea of hate and understand that with each loving act, a new world is being born.

Support for Dying Times

The Narrow Gate

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

In the past few weeks, several different and unrelated individuals, who know me and are part of my wider community, have sent me YouTube videos on the Magdalene. They discovered these videos through a channel named The Esoteric Jesus. I took the time to watch the videos and must admit, with only a few nuances of language, the videos I viewed very closely reflect what I have come to know and understand about the teachings of the Magdalene. Though the methods may differ, the teachings revealed are nearly identical to what I teach (having learned these teachings through my work with Mary Magdalene and Yeshua). Whereas I found the AI delivery of these videos distracting, I found the content to be mostly sound. Admittedly, I didn’t learn anything new through these videos, but they have provided a solid ground on which I am finding affirmation and validation for my many years of devoted study and practice. Further, they have provided me with a deepening sense of confidence in the work I have done, and a renewed sense of motivation to continue.

The big question though:  WHAT EXACTLY DO I DO? This is the question I’ve been trying to answer for 25 years. This morning, the answer came:

I guide people through the narrow gate.

Like my teachers, Yeshua and Mary Magdalene, and using the methods learned through them, I provide instruction, guidance, and support for those in search of themselves. This is what some might call the spiritual journey. Psychology calls it the path toward individuation or self-actualization. Others call it enlightenment, ascension, or self-realization. By whatever name you call it, it is the same journey – the journey from awakening to the Truth beyond appearances. In personal terms, it is the journey from self-centeredness to universal consciousness.

Or to put it simply: it is the journey from fear to love.

Yeshua said that to truly accomplish this journey, one must enter through the narrow gate (MT 7: 13-14). Further, he acknowledged that few are able (or willing) to find it. In my own many years of doing this work, I can confirm that this is true. Many are willing to be captivated and enthralled by the early stages of awakening and spiritual growth, for here, everything feels new and exciting. Our curiosity is sparked and we find many ways to feed that curiosity. We feel special, magical, and maybe a little better than “normal” human beings. This is the easy part of the journey. Easy, however, does not last. If it does, you’re no longer growing, you are well entrenched in spiritual by-pass.

The journey through the narrow gate requires ever-deepening layers of self-examination, personal accountability, identification of ego attachments or wounds, healing and transformation. The closer we get to the heart of who we are, the more challenging the journey becomes. Every minute of every day, we are given an opportunity to see what within us remains wounded and then doing the work of healing that wound. It is only the few and the brave who are willing to enter through the narrow gate.  The journey is infinite and eternal, but it is only through the narrow gate that Love (our Truth) can be fully realized.

Not for the Masses

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

For years I have struggled to understand and make peace with the reality that very few people are attracted to the Magdalene work that I provide, and even fewer complete it. Now I get it:

The Magdalene is not for the masses!

While likely hundreds of books have been published in her name and a similar number of online resources are available, many of which offer their own versions of “Magdalene training” or offer retreats and pilgrimages in the name of the Magdalene, it is not to the resources and support I provide where people tend to gravitate. Formerly, I took this personally. Now, I acknowledge it as a victory of sorts – a victory, not for myself, but a victory for those who are called to the work I facilitate, especially to those who complete it.

The work of the Magdalene was never meant to be easy. Neither is it something to be entered into lightly for the purposes of puffing up the ego or making oneself feel special. If it was a challenge for Mary, who earned the title of Magdalene through her commitment to and mastery of these teachings, so shall it be for those who courageously embark upon this journey.

It was not to the masses, nor to the other disciples that the risen Christ was revealed. Neither were any of the other disciples ordained to continue the depth work facilitated by Jesus. It was only to Mary, called Magdalene, that these things were given.

The work of the Magdalene is hard. It requires discipline, tenacity, persistence, and a 100% commitment to radical personal accountability. The journey Mary completed under Jesus’ tutelage revealed to her the path through which one is able to overcome the inner demons (fears, unhealed wounds, societal conditioning) that prevent one from knowing their true nature as Love in Union with the All. With single-minded focus, Mary confronted each and every unhealed wound, false perception, non-loving conditioning, and fear which blocked her way from knowing this Love and in doing so, became the embodiment of Love – as Jesus himself had done. There is no other direct follower of Jesus said to have completed this work (with the possible exception of John – though recent scholarship suggests the writings attributed to John may in fact, have come from, Mary, herself).

As Mary’s accomplishment was rare, so has it been throughout history. It is only our pop-culture spirituality that might suggest otherwise. Contrary to mass-marketed spirituality, enlightenment cannot be bought. It can only be uncovered in bits and pieces as we diligently tend to every single obstacle to Love – including (especially) ourselves. This is not the work for the faint of heart. Instead, we must look in the mirror with excruciating scrutiny:

  • What are the lies we’ve told ourselves?
  • What are the attachments we’ve formed?
  • How are we feeding our egos with dreams of popularity, fame, power, or wealth?
  • Where are we making excuses for our inhumanity to our fellow human beings?
  • Where are we harboring hatred?
  • How are we hiding our true selves for the sake of other people’s approval?
  • Where are we depriving ourselves of the things we need to fit into the status quo?
  • How have we bought into capitalistic deceptions and in what ways have we sold our soul to “make it?”
  • What are the sensitivities we’ve ignored, the reactions we’ve excused, or the violence we’ve justified – toward others and to ourselves?

Few, I have found, are willing to be so honest, and fewer still are willing to accept the kind of accountability that true transformation requires. And that’s ok. Like Jesus, the Magdalene wears many faces – a symbol for some, an inspiration for others, and to those called to the depths – a psychopomp leading them on a journey through the underworld where their wounds may be transformed and their truest light revealed.

My most-recommended books on the Magdalene:

Bourgeault, Cynthia, The Meaning of Mary Magdalene – Discovering the Woman at the Heart of Christianity, Shambhala Publications, 2010.

DeQuillan, Jehanne, The Gospel of the Beloved Companion, Athara Editions, 2010.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Gospel of Mary Magdalene, Inner Traditions, 2002.