Personal Mastery

Cassandra Syndrome

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

The struggle of feeling unseen and unheard

Two nights ago, I suffered one of my repeating nightmares. In this dream, not unlike many others like it, I was invited to speak to a group of people on a topic about which I was considered an expert. I spoke and no matter what I said, how I said it, or what I did to get the audience’s attention, I was completely ignored. Instead of listening to what I was saying, or paying attention to my presentation, the audience was talking and laughing amongst themselves. Finally, I put down my microphone and simply walked away. The audience didn’t even notice that I had left the podium, or the room.  They just continued with whatever they were doing, completely oblivious to my presence, or lack thereof.

The theme of this dream is one I have often. Speaking, teaching, announcing, begging, pleading with an individual or an audience while being completely ignored – unseen and unheard. At the end of these dreams, I wake up feeling frustrated and even a bit angry.

Why can’t or won’t they hear me?????

I wish I could say these dreams are simply a reflection of my own insecurity or lack of confidence. Instead, these dreams are a direct reflection of real-life experiences I have had. There have been countless occasions where I’ve been invited “as an expert” to speak to an audience or deliver a presentation and quite literally been ignored. I’m standing, or sitting, delivering whatever talk I’ve been invited to present, and I’m met with a room of blank stares. Or worse, as was the case in one corporate presentation, the audience actually made fun of me!  Or in another, where I was hosting a class and an organized group of people showed up to my class simply to harass and abuse me.

It’s not only in delivering presentations where I have felt unseen or unheard. While in graduate school, the university I was attending was going through a massive shake-up which resulted in a change in ownership and leadership. As students we were invited into a “townhall” meeting to discuss these changes and our feelings about it. In my time to share, I offered some suggestions based on my own previous experience with another institution going through something similar. I watched my words go up into the air and fall flat onto the ground while those who were meant to receive these words stared back at me blankly.

These experiences of feeling unseen and unheard have been a plague throughout my life. Whether it be in a teaching situation, when asked to present on a topic of expertise, writing my blog, trying to explain what I do, or offering deep knowledge about impending doom, I am met with blank stares. Sometimes those blank stares turn into any number of incredulous responses: “How can you know that?”  “You’re just being judgmental.” “That can’t be true.”

But the fact remains, I DO KNOW. Whether one calls it prophecy or simply the ability to read the room, I KNOW. And, I’m always right. Every. Single. Time. But no matter how often I’m proven true, or my work is shown to be of value, or others testify on my behalf, I cannot escape the very real experience of most often feeling unseen and unheard. No, it’s more than a feeling, many, arguably most, simply CANNOT hear me. Or if they can hear me, they choose not to listen.

When I shared about the dream on social media, my dear sister-in-law responded “Cassandra.” Admittedly, I had to look this up.  I had heard the terms “Cassandra Complex,” or “Cassandra Syndrome” before, but I didn’t really understand what it meant. As it turns out, neither do the so-called experts!

Every single post on this topic made it sound like “Cassandra Complex” was some sort of psychological disease – one experienced by women who think they are psychic and who go raving mad (“hysterical”) over not being heard. In these articles, the Cassandra is portrayed as sick and at-fault. Nowhere could I find validation for those who possess authentic intuitive gifts (or are just plain paying attention) and the very real frustration that arises when trying to share one’s gifts and being met with only a brick wall.

Cassandra was not the sick or insane person in the myth. The villain in the story is Apollo. Metaphorically, Apollo represents the ruling system and those invested in that system. Apollos are those who benefit from the ruling system, who prefer status quo, and who do not want to be disturbed by ideas that would question, challenge, or confront that system. Cassandra is the confronter. Cassandra brings visions of a new world, presents methods for escaping the status quo, and provides comfort and support for the natural grief that arises when one system is failing and a new one is trying to find its way in.

Cassandras are the truth bringers and light bearers. As light bearers, they often shine a light on that which has been hiding in the shadows and which needs to be confronted and healed to make room for more light. Apollos, as they cling to what they know, feel threatened by that which might point out that what they know might be a lie, or that they may have to let something go to experience something new. Apollos don’t want new. They’re happy with how things are. In response to a threat to their closely-held status-quo, Apollos will either go into a defensive mode, attempting to discredit the Cassandra, or they will simply turn a deaf ear. To the Cassandra, both are equally hurtful.

I have been on the receiving end of the Apollo response too many times to count. I can attest to the pain of being ignored and the deep frustration of being unheard. When met with this kind of refusal (which has often been accompanied by condemnation), I either become angry or feel profoundly defeated. It’s really difficult not being heard.

Yesterday, while struggling with the emotional hangover of the dream, I brought this Cassandra quandary into my prayers. Resigning myself to the reality of being a Cassandra in a world of Apollos just didn’t feel like enough of a response. (I sometimes think there is a fine line between resignation and suppression. Clearly, if I’m still having the dream, my feelings of frustration over not being heard have not truly been healed.) As I sat in wait for God’s answer to my prayer, I heard the simple words:

TURN AROUND

Then I saw, in my mind’s eye, an image of myself turning away from the Apollo world and toward the Cassandras of this world – those who also carry visions of the new, who call out the evils of this world, who seek healing of hearts and unity of spirits. It is not to the Apollos of this world that I am speaking – it is to those who have ears to hear and eyes to see – those who have grown tired of the status quo and who seek after something new that is more loving, gentle and kind than what humanity has heretofore created for itself.

Being a Cassandra in a world of Apollos is never easy, but maybe in turning around I will finally feel heard and seen and that will bring an end to these dreams.

Freeing Yourself from the Patriarchy

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

On-Demand Available Now!

For over five-thousand years, humanity has been imprisoned by patriarchal rule. Under the rule of patriarchy, human beings have been conditioned by fear to be subservient to an outside perceived authority. Under the threat of punishment, and wrapped in a cloak of false promises, humanity has given over its power to a seemingly powerful few.

Under patriarchy, toxic masculinity is the ruling force and privilege is afforded primarily to white men of wealth. All other human beings are then divided into a hierarchy of servitude to the powerful few.

The patriarchy requires:

  • ·         Blind obedience to a self-appointed outside perceived authority.
  • ·         Subservience to this authority.
  • ·         Expectations of duty.
  • ·         Dependency based on false promises of provision and protection.

Under patriarchy we lose:

  • ·         Access to our own inner authority.
  • ·         Freedom to discern our own truth and choose our own path.
  • ·         Belief in ourselves as loveable for exactly who we are without having to seek after acceptance or approval.
  • ·         The power of our own executive functioning as seen in our relentless search for a savior.

In this six-week course, we will explore the ways in which we have been imprisoned by the patriarchy and the subtle ways in which this imprisonment is experienced:

  • ·         In our own lives
  • ·         In our relationships
  • ·         In society
  • ·         In the workplace
  • ·         In our underlying sense of shame or guilt
  • ·         In our conditioned sense of duty
  • ·         In our search to be saved

We will then explore ways in which we can free ourselves from this conditioning.

Six-week online course

This course consists of:

  • ·         Inspirational readings
  • ·         Lessons
  • ·         Contemplation and Reflection
  • ·         Discussion
Learn more and enroll here

Living in the Thirteenth Dimension

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 4 Comments

Welcome to Lauri Woo Land!  This is where I share my experience with interdimensional living and the journey that allows us to “travel” from one plane of existence to another.

I typically leave these insights for those who have been teaching and speaking about ascension, starseeds, wayshowers, and dare I say aliens, long before I had the language to describe what I have seemingly always known. Since the beginning of March, and most especially the last few days, I have experienced an uptick in experiences and symptoms related to dimensional transitions that I felt I might share in case others in this community are feeling some of the same.

For the last many years, the new age and ascension communities have spoken at length about humanity’s evolution from third-dimensional beings to fifth-dimensional beings. Many have spoken of this evolution creating a split in the world – some remaining in 3d reality while others are choosing to migrate to 5d – the latter known in, and defined by, unity consciousness.

As demonstrated by the wisest among us, unity consciousness has always been available to humanity as it is our original and truest nature. Jesus and Mary Magdalene, the Buddha, Lao Tsu, Kuan Yin, and all the great Indigenous shamans and Indian gurus dwelt within unity consciousness and left behind teachings on how to access this level of consciousness ourselves.

Unity consciousness is nothing new, it has simply been forgotten or is ignored by much of humanity. Instead, human beings take the teachings of these great teachers and twist them to fit their own fear-filled agendas, preferring separation and division to the peace and love modeled by these great teachers.

Outside of unity consciousness, humanity has come to define their experience by fear and have sought power and control over others in an attempt to vanquish their fear. Instead of vanquishment, however, humanity has simply bred more fear.

Division is a choice. So too is Love. Harnessing the teachings and practices of Love modeled and left behind by these great teachers, we can transcend the fear that seems to define the human condition. The more Love we embrace, the more fear is released, and we are increasingly free to live in the heaven of unity consciousness instead of the hell of separation.

There are telltale signs that we are escaping the imprisonment of 3d (fear based) consciousness.  These are the signs I have been experiencing more frequently which suggest to me that escape velocity is approaching, allowing us, not to depart from the human experience, but to knowing a human experience in which fear no longer holds sway and in which Love becomes the Law (or rather, the Law of Love is restored).

Before I get into the signs – it is important to recognize that we are NOT leaving the human experience. Instead, we will be able to navigate human experience as objective witnesses while enjoying the fruitfulness of a Love-based world. I imagine it will be as if there are two worlds existing side by side – or rather one within the other. It’s kind of like Jesus when he spoke of the “Kingdom of God” being within us. He was able to live in the midst of the separation of the human world while maintaining composure and contentment and performing seemingly miraculous feats. (Were Jesus’ “miracles” actually miracles or the natural workings of a consciousness we have not yet attained? The yoga master Patanjali would suggest it was the latter).

For my entire life I have been applying the (original) teachings of Jesus, along with those of other spiritual masters, and I can attest to their efficacy. The healing and liberation I have experienced in my life cannot be understated. At the same time, these teachings have supported me in making peace with freedoms and liberties I have lost through trauma and chronic illness. (Those who say that ascension means the end of all sickness, etc. are wrong.)

I am a different person today than I was thirty years ago – rather, I’m more of my most authentic self. I’ve learned how to be vulnerable, to trust my intuition (gut) above all else, and to name and claim my boundaries. I’m breaking away from co-dependency, caretaking and my wound-based need to fix things. Those imbedded in the 3d world might say I’m an asshole because the rules to which they ascribe no longer apply to me. (PS  people thinking you’re an asshole is a HUGE sign that you are escaping 3d consciousness).

With that, let’s get on with the signs that you are successfully traveling away from separation consciousness toward unity consciousness and beyond.

  1. People think you are an asshole for setting boundaries (saying no to those things which are not life-giving to you).
  2. You are able to observe the conflict of the human experience without needing to react. You can observe it, perhaps feeling sad, frustrated, or disappointed in human beings, but are able to rise above it.
  3. You often find yourself misunderstood. No matter the effort or the words you use, people cannot grasp what you are trying to say – except others living from Love.
  4. You have compassion for all of humanity – even those whose actions you don’t especially like. You can look past their actions to the fear or unhealed wound that would cause them to act in non-loving ways.
  5. You have experiences of feeling invisible or of people not hearing you. You have even had experiences of the majority of human beings having zero awareness that you are even here on this plane.
  6. No matter how hard you try or what time you put in, you find yourself unable to “succeed” in 3d terms. Perhaps “real” jobs elude you. Maybe you can’t catch a financial break. You may suffer from unexplainable illnesses that make it difficult if not impossible for you to hold a “real” job.
  7. You find yourself becoming ill when engaging in the 3d world. (For example, if I read the news or fall down the rabbit hole of American politics, I feel anxious, distracted, dissociating, and sick. Too much time on social media does the same).
  8. You have lost interest in the 3d world. (this is different than depression).  For me, this disinterest is manifesting in a feeling of “being done.” I’m done trying to convince people to be Love, or that there is another way to live. I’m done warning 3d humans of what is to come. I tried. No one listened. Now they are suffering the consequences of their actions. (I am one to say, “I told you so!”)
  9. You feel detached from humanity’s choice to continue living in separation and the consequences of those choices.
  10. You feel as if you are here with and for those who want to be Love. You also feel content to let others continue to choose separation.
  11. You feel as if you are living in another world.
  12. You find yourself with a close company of “weird” friends who understand Love and also want to be Love in the world.
  13. You no longer care if others think you’re weird.
  14. You feel truly seen by those who have also chosen Love.

Living beyond 3d consciousness is not the whoo-whoo/la la that many make it out to be. It is not rainbows and unicorns. Neither is it necessarily bliss. Instead, it is the ability to be witness to the human experience with all its imperfections and tragedies and not be destroyed by it. It is the ability to hold on to Love no matter how much we are tempted to hate. It is the willingness to accept responsibility for our unhealed wounds and the actions that might still come from our own place of fear. It is the ability to show up every moment of every day to our practice, returning again and again and again to Source when the human experience of separation tries to pull us away. Living beyond 3d consciousness is loving but it is also fierce. Those still living in 3d consciousness might despise us because every minute we remain in Unity we are showing them that there is another way. They know what they would have to give up in choosing Love over fear. Few are willing to take that risk. And yet, for those called to Unity, we have no other choice. It is indeed what we are here for – to return to unity consciousness and to show humanity there is another way.

Heads in the Sand

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

The plague of collective sloth.

Never in my life have I been blindly obedient to anyone or anything. Never have I given blind allegiance to an outside perceived authority. Not once have I offered someone my respect until it has been earned. In no case did I consider someone an authority simply because they said they were or because they were appointed to a so-called position of authority.

Throughout my entire life, I have used the brain I was given to reason and discern what was true and question that which felt suspect. I have always been one to question the “hows” of things, but more importantly the “whys.” For example: Why would an unconditionally loving “God” cast anyone into hell?  Why would an unconditionally loving “God” who made us have need or use of a hell? How is it that Jesus had to “die for our sins?” What kind of God murders his own son whom he loves? (These are just the religious questions!)

As you can imagine, adults (still today) either love me for demonstrating intelligence and reasoning through my questioning or despise me for pointing out the obvious lack of reasoning in some of humanity’s most cherished beliefs. I have always been like the little boy who cried, “The Emperor has no clothes,” much to the chagrin of “the emperors” among us and those who benefit from the perceived authority’s authority.

My natural ability to see through bullshit is both a gift and a curse. I would not, however, have it any other way. Having this ability has kept me (mostly) safe from those who might seek to harm and has kept me on the path of truth – both my own, and that of the bigger T Truth.

Having personal experience of the benefits of critical thinking, reasoning, and discernment, I find myself continually befuddled by those who choose none of these while allowing some outside perceived (often self-appointed) authority to think for them – telling them what to believe and how to live. I can understand this in people who were never given a chance to learn or who were never empowered in their own abilities to reason. I do not understand it is people who have been given every opportunity to cultivate critical thinking skills and choose not to use them.

It’s bad enough which it’s a stranger, your employer, your teacher, or pastor, it’s even worse when it’s someone you know personally and who you might otherwise respect were it not for their refusing to see what is right in front of their face for they have buried their head in the sand and given away their own personal power and executive functioning to a cult of manipulation and lies. When inviting an honest inquiry – seeking to understand why they believe as they do and their answer is “I support everything ____________does and says,” with no explanation, you know they’re done for. They have chosen the plague of collective sloth and from this there is no return.

I don’t get it!  Why would anyone give up their own power of critical thinking? Why would someone give their power over to another? How can someone not see the corruption or lies staring them in the face?

Because they don’t want to. It is easier to look the other way, allowing someone else to think and make decisions for you than to reason for yourself. It is easier to let someone tell you what to believe than uncover your own beliefs. Life is easier when we take the blue pill and its illusions than to step into the illusion-shattering world of the red. With the blue pill, we don’t have to think, or even act, we just do what we’re told, buying into the system built by the illusions, allowing ourselves to be sheep who would walk off the edge of a cliff if we were told to do so by our own appointed “Messiahs.” The blue pill allows us to continue to believe in the so-called “American Dream” while liberties, freedoms, safety, and protection are being hastily torn from our grasp. (If you think it’s only immigrants or transgender people who are losing freedoms, you aren’t paying attention – the freedom-robbers are coming for you next!)

Collective sloth allows us to remain within the dream of belonging to the privileged group even as the privileged group looks down their nose at us. More than anything, however, collective sloth allows us to remain in the place of blamelessness. Even when it all goes to hell, those suffering from sloth will never recognize their culpability in the collapse. Instead, they will simply say, “I was only doing what I was told.” 

Those of us who have not lived with our heads in the sand will know better. The collapse of an empire and the end of freedoms will ultimately impact all but the very few. And we will all know who is to blame – those who chose to look away, those who chose to ignore the obvious, those who supported and then defended the deceivers, and those who to this day are keeping their heads in the sand because they would rather hang on to their illusion of privilege than see that the emperor and his entire staff has no clothes.

Ground Your Light Video-cast

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

A huge thank you to Lauren Kimberly Moore who invited me to participate in her “Ground Your Light” video-cast. Please enjoy this heart-felt conversation!

Learn about Lauren and her work with Sacred Living Arts:

Learn more HERE

Lauren Kimberly Moore is a Certified Spiritual Director having trained through the Spiritual Guidance Training Institute (2018-2020). Her training groomed her to be a supportive, loving and non-judgmental companion along the spiritual path for those who seek deeper meaning, purpose and understanding in life. Spiritual direction is a non-directive contemplative practice that carries one into present, intimate and holy spaces. Lauren’s aim in this work is to be a compassionate listener and to help support the creation of sacred moments in daily life.

In her deepest inner being, Lauren’s work is a ministry. She has had a lifelong calling and practice to help illuminate the Soul. Lauren feels strongly that we are here to walk alongside one another, to witness each others healing and authentic truth. As an initiated Magdalene Rose priestess, Lauren walks women through ceremonial and transformational experiences to reclaim the sacred feminine within. From this feminine energy of opening, receiving and remembrance, we return to our whole self embodying divine power, love and wisdom.

Lauren is a Registered Yoga Teacher with over 500 hours of training through Alignment Yoga (2015/2017), Holy Yoga (2017) and the Vivekananda Kendra Yoga Research Institute (2001).  Along with teaching yoga, Lauren has been facilitating mindfulness meditation courses, retreats and workshops since 2014. She enjoys using her collective skills to compassionately support the well-being of others. Lauren teaches privately, to small groups and continues to work within various school districts supporting mindfulness practices for both students and staff alike. 

Lauren is also a Wisconsin Licensed Massage Therapist (432-146). She graduated in 1996 from The Humanities for Allied Health in Pinellas Park, Florida. Specific to bodywork, she has trained in the modalities of Therapeutic Massage, Swedish Massage, Neurovascular Therapy, Thai-Veda massage, Reflexology, Reiki, and Raindrop Therapy.

Lauri Ann Lumby

Has over twenty-five years of experience as an educator, facilitator, spiritual counselor and soul-guide. She has supported hundreds through her one-on-one guidance, books, workshops, retreats, online classes and community.

Lauri is an author and a poet and has published eleven books including Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy, and her popular novel Song of the Beloved, the Gospel According to Mary Magdalene.

Lauri earned her master’s degree in Transpersonal Psychology from Sofia/ITP University, is a trained Spiritual Director in the Ignatian tradition and has certificates in Adult Education and Psycho-Spiritual Development. Lauri is a Reiki Master Practitioner in both the Usui and Karuna traditions and is an ordained interfaith minister. 

When Reaching Across the Divide Fails

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Regardless of the chasm that seems to separate human beings from each other, I continue to believe that we have more in common with each other than not. I have been shown this time and time again when I have reached out to those who appear to believe differently than I – whether that belief be about religion, politics, or any other things to which humans cling tightly. Granted, my reaching out is mostly toward those I already know and trust and who I believe can enter into civil discourse. (In building a bridge, I reserve the right to also keep myself safe from those who have no desire to be civil.) In the past I have shared my experiences of reaching across the divide and the positive results of doing so.  I learned new things, as did those toward whom I reached. We discovered common ground and learned that we could honor and respect each other’s differences. Friendship and love prevailed.

Sadly, yesterday I experienced something not so positive. A comment was made on one of my FB threads by someone I thought I knew well and with whom I share common blood. I was not surprised by their comment that demonstrated a dramatically different perception than my own. Because of my love and respect for this person, I did not challenge them on FB. Instead, I reached out privately in the spirit of inquiry and discovery. I simply wanted to learn. I explained I had no interest in changing their mind or confronting their views.  I simply wanted to understand why they believed that way. I used every skill I know to assure them my intentions were not violent, but were open and welcoming. Sadly, their response was no response. Crickets.

I cannot guess at their reason for not responding. All I can be is sad that they were not willing to meet with me across the perceived divide. A profound opportunity was lost in their refusal to engage. I suspect that if they had been willing to enter into a civil conversation, we would have learned that we are more alike in our beliefs than different and that we could honor and respect each other for where we differ.

There is nothing more I can do to invite conversation with this individual, but this illustrates to me the perfect example of where we find ourselves as human beings. No matter where humans reside geographically, it seems they have dug their heels in and crossed their arms over their individual beliefs and against those of others. We need look no further than the debacle of American politics or the wars over Gaza and Ukraine to see examples of human beings refusing to reach across the divide. Attached to being right, maintaining control, and acquiring perceived power and wealth, humanity stands with arms crossed and hearts closed.

Again, I find this incredibly sad. Division will never be healed or common ground established as long as our hearts are closed. While others may not be willing or able to uncross their arms for the purpose of entering into deep listening to another, I am, and I will continue to reach out when and where it’s appropriate because I am willing to learn, I know I don’t know everything, I can accept being wrong. I’m not attached to any specific belief except that defined and lived by Love and I’d rather reach across the divide than turn my back on friends and loved ones who might believe differently than I.

Letting Life Run Its Course

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 1 Comment

As human beings, we are hard-wired for control. We seek after, grasp, and cling to control in an attempt to make ourselves feel safe. We are especially vigilant in these attempts when life places uncertainty before us.

We are living in uncertain times. We don’t have to look far to see the ways in which the collective human species is grasping after control. Neither do we have to look deep to see the ways in which we, ourselves, are equally seeking after control.

The reality is that control is an illusion and the formula that suggests control equals safety is a bold-faced lie. In fact, the opposite is true: the quicker way to peace and contentment (ie: safety) is to completely let go of control and let life run its course.

Letting go of the compulsion to grasp after control is exactly the posture I am taking at this point in both our collective as well as my own individual journey. This is a posture that demands a bit of trust/faith, but even more so, it requires diligence.

Diligence is the ability to make a commitment and stick with it. Diligence demands discipline and persistence. As an imperfect individual who at times is excruciatingly human, it is easy to fall off course – to lose my sense of commitment and become distracted by externals which attempt to trigger my fears. Self-awareness supports me in knowing when I have strayed from my committed path and lost the inner peace that comes in letting things take their course. Diligence puts me back on the path and leads me back to the peace of letting go.

Let me give you an example from my own life.  At this point in my journey, I am acutely aware of certain things coming to an end (or at the very least dramatically changing). These things provide the financial resources for my basic needs including shelter and food. Interestingly two of these things seem to be ending at exactly the same time. Together they provide for 80% of my current income. YIKES.

In the past, the imminent collapse of income would have freaked me out.  I would have been bombarding the internet with information on my programs and services, hastily applying for jobs, losing sleep over worry, and likely experiencing break-through panic. Yes, I am aware of the anxiety that threatens to shove me off course, but my response to that anxiety is to hold my ground. Life has taught me that when something leaves, it is only creating room for something better to take its place. Life has also taught me that I am being provided for – maybe not through the accumulation of wealth, but through exactly what I need IN THIS MOMENT. While life has called me to be creative, it has never really let me down. I don’t know what will be and I am not being given a glimpse. I do know that I will be ok, and even if I’m not, I will be fine. If nothing else, life has taught me resilience. (as one friend recently said, this is one word I too would like to retire!!!!!)

But, how do I know? How can I be sure? How can I let life take its course when it sometimes looks like complete and utter collapse is pending?

In a word:  PRACTICE. PRACTICE. PRACTICE.

Every moment of every single day is a practice. Are we at peace or in a state of panic or confusion? If the latter, I turn to my practice. When it’s the former, I remain in my practice. Returning again and again and again to the practices that help me maintain peace, equanimity and to meet life from a place of wisdom.

When the shit hits the fan, and I am overwhelmed with life, the world, my own unhealed wounds, I turn within and if that fails, I turn toward (that which some might call) God. Just yesterday, I was begging “God/Self” for relief. Then I asked for healing, letting go of my need to avert the inner pain I was feeling, and let Life/God take its course.

This is how it is with our world. As the world around us writhes in its death throes, seeking to trigger our fears and we are tempted to grasp after control, the only thing we can really do is let the events take their course. When not immersed in the detailed actions of the pretenders in office and the silence of the supposed balances and checks, I see a bigger picture. Something new trying to be born. As this new is coming forth, it is breaking apart the lies upon which the world has been built and showing us where there are kinks in the chain. As the new is coming forth, that which has long basked in their illusion of power and control are freaking out. Their fear of losing power is driving them to grasp, wrestle, tantrum, cling and rage. As we would do for any other toddler, let them rage. As they are not ours to protect or save, we let them tantrum. Eventually, they will either grow tired or destroy themselves. Then there will be room for the emotionally mature grown ups to step in, clear away the debris, and start the building of something new.

In the meantime, it is our job to stand back, allowing Life run it’s course.

Support through Uncertain Times

If you are struggling to maintain peace during these uncertain times, I can help. Through one-on-one mentoring, I can support you with practices that help us to reclaim peace and clear the inner wounds we carry that stand in the way of our knowing peace.

Email: lauri@lauriannlumby.com to learn more.

Hold the Line

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

Hold the Line

Love isn’t always on time.

These are the words that keep dancing around in my head. As we are continuing to be witness to the collapse of the world as we have known it, these are important words to remember.

Love does not come in our time.  Love comes in “God’s” time. We are not in charge of the unfolding of current events. Instead, we are witnesses and Love-bearers.

As witnesses our job is to watch, observe, and hold space for all the many faces of grief we will experience in the face of the death-throes of the patriarchy. As Love-bearers, we are meant to observe the unfolding from a place of non-judgment and detachment.

Love is universal. All are made by and for Love. Even (especially) those we perceive to be living a life contrary to Love. Jesus said “Love thy neighbor,” and “Pray for your enemies.”  Our neighbors are those we perceive to be like us. Our enemies – well, we know who they are. We are called to Love them – one and all.

I know, easier said than done. When we watch humans being cruel toward each other, treating one another with disrespect, acting as if some are deserving of liberties and others are not, it is hard.

When it is hard, we are called to pray for ourselves.  “Help me in my unbelief.” “Forgive them, they know not what they do.” “Into your hands I commend my spirit.”  “Teach me how to Love.”

All are wounded seeking to be free. Some know they are wounded and are seeking their own healing. Most aren’t even aware they’re wounded and are simply acting out of those wounds.

Love one another. Pray for each other’s healing.

And don’t interfere. It is said “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”  The same is true of humans. The difference between horses and humans is that humans can’t even be led. All we can do is our own work of being Love in the world and being that Love more fully. Sometimes, our presence awakens others to the Love within themselves, and to the invitation to knowing that Love. Sometimes our presence pisses people off. Neither is within our control. It’s not personal. It’s none of our business.

Each of our names are written on the palm of God’s hands. Our lives are written in Her book. If you are reading this, you are here simply for the purpose of Love. Be that Love and live from that Love and that is all you need to know.

Hold the line. The Love that you are is always on time.

STARTS TOMORROW!

6-week Live online course

Learn more HERE

Hell ‘N Back

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 6 Comments

I’m writing today’s missive as part affirmation, part validation and a big heaping of THANK YOU to all the wayshowers, pioneers, first-wavers, shit-disturbers, and revolutionaries who have endured untold suffering and loss and who now live to be witness and guide to those who are coming after us (not as in pursuit, but in chronology).  

Indeed, we have been to hell and back!

My journey into hell began in early 2000 when the universe I had been building for myself began to crumble around me. Mine was a journey that began with great optimism and hope but eventually turned into one devastating loss after another.  Loss, of course, is relative. For me, the losses included the ending of several significant relationships (including a marriage), the death of a career, the loss of perceived community, the experience of poverty, brief homelessness, bankruptcy, and a pile up of chronic illnesses that have negatively impacted abilities that I once took for granted.

In the midst of these losses, many good things happened as well, the greatest of which is a deepening knowledge of who I truly am including the calling to embrace a more deeply monastic lifestyle rooted in sacred practice, solitude, and quiet service to humanity.

Somewhere in my journey into hell, I set aside the conditioned belief that our value is defined by what we do and that success is determined by how hard we work.

Now, I prefer a life of ease – one in which being takes priority over doing, and if doing is called for, it is only that which comes forth out of a deep state of being. As such, I no longer seek after things to do, causes to take up, or a humanity to save.  Instead, I sit in quiet observation of the unfolding of human evolution and wait for those moments when humans seek me out for guidance or support.

I know I am not alone in this because I am surrounded by individuals who have been through their own version of hell and in that journey have been remade. No more are they imprisoned by the conditioning of western culture. No more are they tempted by the pursuit of shiny objects. No more are they willing to exist within the hellscape of late-stage capitalism, but have chosen a new way of being that defies what we were once told was required for our survival.

No longer are we subject to the rules of an outside perceived authority but have discovered our own truth – that which can only be found within.

For generations humanity has been raised on lies. These were the lies created by the ruling classes to imprison us in servitude.

The time of lies is coming to an end, but in order to uncover the truths that have been hidden by these lies, we first had to die to what we were taught to believe and believe in. Every single thing that was imposed from outside of us had to come up for review. Those things we took for granted were wrestled from our grasp. We were made to confront our attachments to money, power, fame, familiarity, control, the status quo…and let them go…kicking and screaming as they were pulled from our cold, dead, hands.  

And we had to do this over and over and over again until there was nothing left of our conditioned selves and all that remained was our Truth.

This is the journey we are now called to witness for others. Having survived (likely exhausted, gasping, and bleeding) our own journey to hell and back, we now have the experience and wisdom to be of support to others.

Lest you are tempted to believe this is a call to action, IT IS NOT. It is not our job to seek out those who might need our support.  Instead, we are called to tend to ourselves. To support ourselves in our continued healing. To live quietly in our truth. To bear witness to humanity’s evolution and to wait for those who may one day seek our support.  

Thank you for all you have endured in your own journey to hell and back. I see you and I acknowledge the sacrifice, the suffering, and all you were made to leave behind. My hope is that in that journey you have come to know yourself more fully and have made yourself free of what previously imprisoned you so that you can enjoy the inner freedom that comes when we successfully find our way out of hell.

With the deepest gratitude and love,

Lauri

Strange Days

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

I knew, when I looked at my calendar for this week and found I had zero appointments, that this was going to be a weird week. In the past, I would have panicked about the lack of potential income, but I have since come to understand that when my calendar appears empty, my energies are being called for service in other ways. And “boy-howdy” has this proved to be the case.

I cannot share the details of where my energies have been called, but I can say that I’m trying to recover while knowing there are still a few intense days ahead from which I will likely need even more recovery time. This is beyond the normal shenanigans of my energy being called to support the dying of the patriarchal world!!!

Such is the fate of an energy-worker/healer/empath. While the world seeks to evaluate us based on number of clients, income, fame, and other capitalistic measurements of so-called success; we are out here being of service to the world in a multitude of invisible and immeasurable ways. Fortunately, I no longer measure myself based on the dying paradigms, but it has taken me years to free myself from these entanglements. Now, I surrender to the unfolding of this work and know that my needs are being provided for and that capitalistic measurements of “success” have nothing to do with me. The work of Love stands on its own.

In doing the work of Love, our lives are not our own. We came here to be of service to humanity at a time of profound transition/transformation. We are here to bear witness to the dying world while holding space in which the new world can begin to take root. This is happening on both the macrocosmic and microcosmic level.

On the global level, it is about witnessing the collapse of patriarchal empires and institutions and supporting humanity through this shift. On a microcosmic level, it is about being witness to the millions of tiny ways in which individuals and organizations are being forced to examine the ways in which they have been influenced by patriarchal conditioning and the choices they are being given to move from fear-based conditioning to Love. For those who have benefitted from patriarchal norms, these will be times of great pain. For those clearing these influences and the individuals who embody these influences, these may be challenging times, but will ultimately clear the way for what is more closely aligned with Love to take the place of fear.

Indeed, we are living through a time of unprecedented change. Each day seems to be stranger than the one before. There is no way for us to know from one day to the next what will come our way or how our energies will be called into service. All we can do is meet each moment as it comes and trust that if it appears we have nothing to do, that perhaps it is in those times of “no-thing” that our gifts are being most utilized, and give ourselves the care and recovery we need to be ready when our gifts are called for again.

Please join me for my upcoming 6-week LIVE course, UNCHAINED. In this course, you will be guided through the traits of patriarchal conditioning and how to free yourself from the imprisonment of this conditioning.

Wednesdays 6:30 – 8:30 pm central

March 5 – April 9, 2025

(sessions are recorded for later viewing if you are unable to attend live)

Learn more HERE.