Self-actualization

Bearing the Magdalene Wound

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

The Crucifixions of the Magdalene: Jesus was lucky, he only had to be crucified once.  Mary Magdalene, on the other hand, was crucified more times than we could ever count.  She was crucified first for being born a woman.  She was crucified again by whatever it was in her life that caused her to need to be healed of “seven demons.”  She was crucified as she walked with her Beloved to his death and then watched as he was nailed to the cross and as he suffered the agonizing death by crucifixion.  She was crucified again when she and her companions took Jesus’ bleeding, broken and beaten body off the cross and laid it in the tomb.  She was crucified again as the stone was rolled over the opening of the tomb and she said her final goodbyes.  Again she was crucified when Jesus appeared to her on Easter morning and then just as quickly disappeared from her sight.  Again as she went to tell the male disciples and they did not believe her.  Again and again and again as Jesus appeared to her in prayer imparting secret teachings and every time disappearing from her sight.  Again as she was asked by the male disciples to share what Jesus had taught her and who then rejected her teachings along with the love Jesus had for her.  Again as she was apparently no longer welcome by the Jerusalem community of disciples and left to fend for herself.  Again and again and again as she made her way in the world carrying the burden of all these crucifixions in her heart, along with the new and fresh crucifixions everytime her mission of love was rejected.  And then…..the millions of countless crucifixions that have happened since her death anytime an individual or the Church ignored her role in Jesus’ life and ministry, denied the calling Jesus gave to her, rejected her as prostitute, adulterous woman or whore, demoted the important initiatory process (healed of seven demons) she underwent as demonic possession, denied women’s rightful and necessary place within the mission of love, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.  The list is endless.

The Burden of Pain: This is the Magdalene Wound and one that is carried in some degree by all women being called forth to resurrect the Magdalene and reclaim her rightful place in the mission of love by taking on this mission ourselves.  As one who bears this wound, I must tell you that it is excruciating.  It is a burden I would not wish on another, and yet I know literally hundreds of women who share this burden with me on behalf of the Magdalene (with many not knowing or understanding the source of this excruciating pain) and who continue to feel the pain of crucifixion everytime the world cries out for the lost feminine.

Excruciating Longing: The Magdalene Wound is known by a longing that cannot be quenched.  It is a pain that has no relief.  It is the feeling of constantly beating one’s head against the wall seemingly getting nowhere.  It is the pain of constant rejection.  Of speaking and sharing truth and seeing it fall on deaf ears.  It is the painful longing of missing our beloved and finding nothing to take its place.  It is the knowledge of having been loved beyond measure, of being held in rapt adoration and worshipped for our gifts…and then having that love torn from our grasp.  It is the pain of knowing that literally millions of women throughout history have been subject to rejection, abuse, even killed simply because they were born a woman in a world where the masculine rules….knowing that at one time in the history of patriarchal culture, there was ONE MAN who honored women as equal, elevating them to positions equal with their male counterparts and who called all of humanity to do the same…and that the first action taken by those who had the opportunity to fulfill this man’s vision was to sell out the women in favor of the presiding cultural norm….and that this single act has kept women subservient for 2000+ years!  It is the constant and enduring pain of a world that is suffering and feeling the blows of this suffering in our own bodies, hearing the cries with our own ears, seeing it with our own eyes and knowing we possess the remedy to this suffering if only….someone…..anyone….would care to ask. I can’t speak for others, but I know for myself, the Magdalene Wound makes me weary…a bone crushing, soul splitting weariness longing for the world to be made free.  It is the same burden of truth that Jesus carried – a truth for which he was willing to die.

Our Cross to Bear: This is the Magdalene Wound and I’m sad to say I’m not sure there is a remedy to this wound.  It is the cross we have to bear as those who have been called to restore the Magdalene (and all women with her) to her rightful place in history and in our world.  I’m not sure we will see the fulfillment of this resurrection in our lifetime, but there are signs of its happening and it is not just about the plethora of research, writings and books that have been accomplished on behalf of the Magdalene.  It includes all ways in which women are finding their voice, speaking their truth and rediscovering their rightful place in world that 5000 years ago stole their power from them.  I am humbled and honored to be a part of this movement and grateful for the resources and tools that have come through me in support of the mission of love as Mary Magdalene had envisioned and embodied it.

The work of the Magdalene is not for the faint of heart. Saying yes to her call and embarking on her path will bring you to your knees. The Magdalene journey is first deeply personal – bringing you face to face with your shadow – all that is need of healing and all that desires to be transformed – freeing you from illusion so that only Love might remain.

Learn more about the Magdalene Training HERE

Magdalene Training Open For Enrollment

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

As the current group of students in the Magdalene Training Program are approaching the end of their training, and preparing to celebrate their final ordination, I am opening the Magdalene Training Program for the next group of interested students.

The Magdalene Training Program provides resources, knowledge, and tools to support you in your journey of self-discovery and empowered self-actualization.

Through this eighteen-month training program, you will:

  • Become rooted in scholarly and intuitive knowledge of the Magdalene, her role in the ministry of Jesus, and her leadership in the ongoing mission of Love.
  • Discern your own unique giftedness and how you are called to use these gifts for the sake of your own fulfillment and in service to the world.
  • Learn practical skills for uncovering and healing all that separates you from Love and from living as your most authentic self.
  • Rediscover ancient knowledge and practices for self-healing.
  • Cultivate and deepen your contemplative life while growing in contentment and compassion.

Created and facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby

64 weeks of content

7 individual courses

6 private mentoring sessions

With its focus on developmental psychology, mindfulness practices, and the historical Magdalene, this training is unlike any other out there. This program maintains the integrity of the psychological and healing training that Mary, called Magdalene undertook through the guidance of her teacher, Jesus of Nazareth, by keeping the story of the Magdalene in its proper place within the Judeo-Christian narrative. Consistent with the Way of Love as Jesus taught it, the Magdalene Training program transcends dogma and doctrine, thereby restoring the essence of Jesus’ authentic teachings as they were lived out uniquely through the Magdalene and those who eventually became her students.

Resources used in this training include:

  • Canonical and non-canonical scripture (including The Gospel of Mary Magdalene).
  • The Universal Spiritual Gifts Inventory
  • The Enneagram Temperament Profile
  • The Aramaic Lord’s Prayer
  • The Chakra System
  • The Authentic Freedom™ Protocol
  • The Ignatian Spiritual Exercises
  • Ignatius’ Rules of Discernment
  • Meditation and Mindfulness
  • Creativity Practices
  • Guided and self-created ritual

Created and facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby

64 weeks of content (done in your own time at your own pace)

7 individual online courses

6 private mentoring sessions (via ZOOM)

To learn more and begin your enrollment, please click HERE.

Not Quite Sure?

Please enjoy the FREE Magdalene Training preview course by clicking on the image to the left.

Being Love in a World that Wants to Hate

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 1 Comment

Being Love requires persistence, discipline, personal responsibility, accountability, and courage. Being Love requires vulnerability and humility. Being Love asks us to be willing to admit where we have been wrong, especially when our being wrong has wronged another. Being Love requires forgiveness – forgiveness of self and other – but likely not the kind of forgiveness you learned about in church. Being Love requires commitment along with countless opportunities to re-commit.

Being Love is an inside job. Being Love takes work. Being Love is hard. It is for these reasons, and the ones mentioned above, that so few even attempt, let alone succeed at being Love. This is especially true in a world that wants to be hate and which appears to be overwhelmingly successful in being hate.

Hate is easy. Born out of our instinctual drive to be suspicious of that which is unfamiliar, hate separates and divides in an attempt to keep us safe from the unknown. As reasoning animals, we are supposed to evolve past this drive to separate. Sadly, most have not evolved past this, simply because evolving takes work. Hating is easy. Being Love is hard.

Even with intention, desire, commitment, and drive, being Love is hard. I’ve learned and experienced this in my own life. One of the reasons hatred is so easy is because it feeds us. Hatred allows us to believe we are right and everyone else is wrong. Hatred fills us with a charge that can feel energizing and empowering. Hatred makes us feel powerful. Hatred allows us to feel superior. Hatred creates in us the illusion of being safe from those who have or could cause us harm.

Feeding on hatred, however, is like ingesting poison. Feeding on hatred makes us sick. Many years ago I became aware of the ways in which hatred was harming me. Eventually I decided to stop.  

Deciding to stop was only the first step, however.  From then on, I have dived deeply into researching and applying a multitude of wisdom practices that have helped me move from being hate to being Love.  In applying these practices, this is what I’ve learned:

  1. We cannot just “think” our way into being Love.
  2. Instead, we must go deep within ourselves to the places we have forgotten that we are Love and heal those.
  3. Over and over and over and over and over and over again.
  4. Being Love (and by association forgiveness) has NOTHING to do with “the other,” and everything to do with ourselves.
  5. As we heal the inner obstacles to Love, we are not only healing ourselves, others are healed as well.
  6. Another human’s inability to being Love is none of our business, except as an invitation to being more loving ourselves.
  7. We cannot heal or change anyone but ourselves.
  8. We can despise an individual’s actions while still having Love for them.

This #8 may in fact be the single most important challenge to us as we try to be Love. Every single day we encounter wounded and broken human beings who do not know they are Love. Having never been given a chance, or having never chosen to evolve, they find themselves living solely out of their instinctual center. From this fear center, the only way they know how to function is to divide themselves from that which they perceive as different. It is out of this fear that things like racism, classism, sexism, xenophobia, and homophobia arise. While our reasoning minds might not be able to understand how someone would purposefully choose hatred, until we evolve beyond our instinctual drives, anything other than hatred might not be a choice. To put it succinctly, hatred is just another word for fear. While we might despise the actions of someone choosing hatred over Love, we can have compassion and love for the wounded human inside of them who doesn’t know any other way to respond to fear.

While responding to fear/hatred with more fear/hatred might be easy, it is not how we bring more Love into our world. The only way for Love to grow is to be Love ourselves. In being Love and continuing to heal the places in ourselves that have forgotten we are Love, we are  providing humanity with an example of what Love looks like which then gives them an opportunity to make another choice.

Being hatred or being Love?  It is a choice.

Being Love begins with self-knowledge.

The Order of the Magdalene Formation Program provides you with resources, knowledge, and tools to support you in your own journey of self-discovery and empowerment. 

Learn more HERE

Humanity’s Enlightenment is NOT my Responsibility!

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 4 Comments

Of the friends that I have who have chosen a Buddhist path, several have shared their decision to take the “Bodhisattva Vow.”  With this vow (part of the Mahayana Buddhist path), they promise (among other things) to work for the sake of humanity’s enlightenment to the point of forsaking their own liberation from the wheel of life until all sentient beings have achieved enlightenment. In short, they are promising to return to the human experience – life after life after life – until all of humanity is enlightened.

I’m not Buddhist, and I’m sure there are many layers to this vow and ways to understand it, and I’m only understanding it on a very surface level… but to promise to return to the human experience until all beings are enlightened?

HELL NO!

Don’t get me wrong, I have a deep love of humanity and deeply desire for all of humanity to know peace, love, and joy, and to experience the freedom of liberation. BUT, it sure as hell isn’t MY job to enlighten them. Neither do I plan on waiting around until all humans across all time finally decide to wake up and learn how to be loving and kind to each other. Based on my experience of some humans, I could be waiting around for an eternity.

No thank you!  When I’m done with this life, I’m outta here, hopefully never to return!

Beyond the faith in which I was raised that tells us we’ve already been liberated, and that death is the final liberation, humanity’s enlightenment is not my responsibility. Regarding enlightenment, I can hardly take care of myself!  Besides, if humanity’s enlightenment was my responsibility, a hell of a lot more people would be listening to me. (ha ha ha…thump)

I leave Buddhists to their beliefs, but as one actively recovering from a Messiah Complex, the Boddhisatva vow sounds a little co-dependent – suggesting it’s our job to take care of others to the point of personal sacrifice, and that there is some sort of “award” for doing so. This strikes me as not much different than the Catholic practice of indulgences as a way of earning our way into heaven. If Jesus did his job properly (and we’ve been taught that he did), then we don’t need to do shit to get into heaven. The payment’s already been made (if you subscribe to atonement theology).

I don’t subscribe to atonement theology. Neither do I ascribe to the belief that Jesus died for our sins. Instead, I believe he died for speaking in ways that empowered people on a path that might free them from the ruling institutions of the time. These institutions felt threatened by the “enlightenment” that Jesus offered and killed him for it. That being said, I don’t believe that Jesus was responsible for the enlightenment of those he taught. Neither is he the source of salvation in the way we have been taught by institutional religion. Instead, he found his own enlightenment and simply shared with others how to do the same. His listeners could choose to accept what he offered, or not.

The Bodhisattva vow, along with atonement theology seem to be placing responsibility for enlightenment in the wrong hands. Enlightenment, as I understand it today, is purely the responsibility of the individual. In fact, it may not even be up to the individual to decide as enlightenment may simply be a matter of fate (more on that later).

Arriving at this understanding of enlightenment as being the individual’s responsibility, however, has been an arduous journey. Based on conditioning, life experiences, trauma, and woundedness, I came to believe it was my job to save the world. It stood to reason, if I could convince human beings to be loving and kind, and later, teach them how to get there, the world might finally feel safe.  Right?

WRONG! Instead, I have learned that I cannot convince anyone of anything they do not want to do for themselves, and I certainly can’t do it for them (no matter how hard I tried). Human beings are stubborn and willful and cling tightly to what they know – no matter how harmful that knowing might be to and for them. Jesus spoke of this often! 

What I have come to understand is that the only human I can save is myself – and even that is debatable! This begs the question – from what do I/we need saving anyway?

In the simplest of terms, we are each a unique and individual expression of Source, here to have a human experience. From this perspective, there are an infinite number of ways in which Source might choose to express itself. Within those infinite expressions are infinite choices. In a single life not every human will choose enlightenment. Across many lifetimes, some might never choose enlightenment.

What good is enlightenment anyway if the cycle of the human experience is that we come from Source and when we are done being human we return to Source? We’re here. We have a life. We die. We return to Source. No judgment. No right or wrong. Simply Source expressing itself. In this we have to allow that Source is just as likely to express itself as an oligarch or serial killer as it is to express itself as Buddha or Christ. So what difference does enlightenment make anyway?

To some, enlightenment (as I understand it) is a way to heal and transform from non-loving conditioning, woundedness, and trauma, so that they might experience life as a little more peaceful, kind, and loving and in this they might find contentment. To others, they may have simply come here to be human and experience the fullness of the human experience as it is right here and right now, simply and without judgement or the need to change it.  This, in fact, may be its own kind of enlightenment!

Enlightenment is a personal choice. If you choose it, cool.  If not, that’s ok too.  For my part, I can’t say that I’ve been seeking enlightenment, simply a way to feel at home within myself and to know some measure of peace in this life. If by my choosing and sharing, others feel inspired to cultivate their own kind of enlightenment, then so be it. If not, that’s their business.  It’s not my job to make them do it or try to do it for them.  And I’m certainly not waiting around for the collective of humanity to choose love and kindness over the hatred and cruelty that so many seem to enjoy. I’ve done for myself what I have felt called to do and humanity is on its own. Their enlightenment is not my responsibility.

For over thirty years, I have been on a deeply transformational journey to uncover my truest nature so that I might live the life that most reflects that. This journey has brought me face to face with my own woundedness and non-supportive societal conditioning and led me to tools to help support my inner transformation. This journey has empowered me to find the answer to these three questions and to then live out those answers:

  • Who am I?
  • Whose am I?
  • What are my unique gifts and how am I called to share them in the world?

Out of this journey, I have created a full curriculum of online courses and trainings through which I am able to share the knowledge, insights, wisdom, and tools that I gained so that you too might discover the fulfillment of living the life you were meant to enjoy. These online courses provide for all levels of personal and spiritual development with a focus on embodied learning – that which transcends the mind and reaches into the heart. All classes support you in your journey of self-actualization and are rooted in scholarship, mindfulness practices, and psychology.

Lauri Ann Lumby, educator, author, mentor.

See all classes here.

Ground Your Light Video-cast

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

A huge thank you to Lauren Kimberly Moore who invited me to participate in her “Ground Your Light” video-cast. Please enjoy this heart-felt conversation!

Learn about Lauren and her work with Sacred Living Arts:

Learn more HERE

Lauren Kimberly Moore is a Certified Spiritual Director having trained through the Spiritual Guidance Training Institute (2018-2020). Her training groomed her to be a supportive, loving and non-judgmental companion along the spiritual path for those who seek deeper meaning, purpose and understanding in life. Spiritual direction is a non-directive contemplative practice that carries one into present, intimate and holy spaces. Lauren’s aim in this work is to be a compassionate listener and to help support the creation of sacred moments in daily life.

In her deepest inner being, Lauren’s work is a ministry. She has had a lifelong calling and practice to help illuminate the Soul. Lauren feels strongly that we are here to walk alongside one another, to witness each others healing and authentic truth. As an initiated Magdalene Rose priestess, Lauren walks women through ceremonial and transformational experiences to reclaim the sacred feminine within. From this feminine energy of opening, receiving and remembrance, we return to our whole self embodying divine power, love and wisdom.

Lauren is a Registered Yoga Teacher with over 500 hours of training through Alignment Yoga (2015/2017), Holy Yoga (2017) and the Vivekananda Kendra Yoga Research Institute (2001).  Along with teaching yoga, Lauren has been facilitating mindfulness meditation courses, retreats and workshops since 2014. She enjoys using her collective skills to compassionately support the well-being of others. Lauren teaches privately, to small groups and continues to work within various school districts supporting mindfulness practices for both students and staff alike. 

Lauren is also a Wisconsin Licensed Massage Therapist (432-146). She graduated in 1996 from The Humanities for Allied Health in Pinellas Park, Florida. Specific to bodywork, she has trained in the modalities of Therapeutic Massage, Swedish Massage, Neurovascular Therapy, Thai-Veda massage, Reflexology, Reiki, and Raindrop Therapy.

Lauri Ann Lumby

Has over twenty-five years of experience as an educator, facilitator, spiritual counselor and soul-guide. She has supported hundreds through her one-on-one guidance, books, workshops, retreats, online classes and community.

Lauri is an author and a poet and has published eleven books including Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy, and her popular novel Song of the Beloved, the Gospel According to Mary Magdalene.

Lauri earned her master’s degree in Transpersonal Psychology from Sofia/ITP University, is a trained Spiritual Director in the Ignatian tradition and has certificates in Adult Education and Psycho-Spiritual Development. Lauri is a Reiki Master Practitioner in both the Usui and Karuna traditions and is an ordained interfaith minister. 

Preventing M*rd*r

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Yesterday while working with one of the Magdalene training participants, I received the best possible testimonial and endorsement of my course Into the Wilderness which is the third course in the Magdalene training (and which can be taken stand-alone). Tongue in cheek, the individual shared:

This course has helped me to not commit m*rd*r!

I knew they were joking, but I also get it. Into the Wilderness is based on my Authentic Freedom protocol and on my book of the same name. Into the Wilderness is the cornerstone of all the work I do for myself, with clients and with students. It is an effective process for identifying and finding healing and release from those things within us that prevent us from knowing peace, joy, contentment, and love in our lives.

Into the Wilderness presents us with our shadow and provides effective tools for freeing ourselves of past conditioning and woundedness. Into the Wilderness frees us from the imprisonment of our own fears and creates space in which we can know ourselves as Love more fully and live from that place of love.

And if it helps us not to commit m*rd*r, then so be it!

Learn more about Into the Wilderness and my other online training courses. HERE.

Pluto and the Death of Love

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Today, November 19, 2024, Pluto departs Capricorn for the final time in our lives!!!!!!!  (collective exhale of relief)  Since January 27, 2008, Pluto has been making his journey through Capricorn. Astrologers have all kinds of things to say about the meaning of Pluto’s transit, but as a Capricorn sun sign with Capricorn in my tenth house, as one astrologer said, this transit has been personal. You could say this is how I feel at the end of this transit:

Pluto in Capricorn has kicked my ass. I’m completely wiped out and exhausted beyond imagining. I feel as if I have nothing left to give to this life after Pluto has had his way with me, both personally and collectively.

Let’s talk about the collective first as that’s the easiest for me to speak about. Pluto moving through Capricorn has been a time of both revelation and destruction. In Lauri Lumby language, Pluto in Capricorn has been about making us all see humanity’s shadow (all those things about human beings we want to deny, ignore, or sweep under the rug).  Most especially, we have been given the opportunity to see the evil and corruption at the heart of every single institution we once held dear: church, government, banking and money, commerce, healthcare, education, etc. etc. etc.  Every institution we were taught to believe had our highest good in mind, has been shown to be liars.

If you are feeling a little betrayed, you have a right to be. It has all been shown to be a lie.

The good news is that the lie is collapsing – but as is true of every collapse – it might prove painful. Whereas Pluto has departed Capricorn, we’re still in the game as Pluto begins its dance through Aquarius – bringing the promise of rebirth – but not before the dying system heaves it’s last breath and humanity finds its way out of the rubble. Much of what many have come to rely upon will be torn from their grasping fingers.

If there was ever a time that it would prove beneficial to “have not,” now would be that time. When you have nothing, there’s really nothing left to lose.

Which brings me to the personal. As the shadows of our world have been revealed, I have experienced some deeply personal shadows showing themselves. My own shadow has come forward to be seen so it could be healed. This work has been arduous, but I’m good at inner work, so I found my way through it.

The other shadows pulled the rug out from beneath me in ways I cannot even begin to describe. Both came unexpectedly and out of the blue (in hindsight, however, there were signs). Both forever altered the trajectory of what I had planned for my life while irreparably breaking my heart. There were times where the pain in my heart was so great that I thought I might die. (I’m not exaggerating).  To speak of it now brings a heaviness in my heart in remembering all the times I wasn’t sure I would survive the betrayal, the lies, and the devastating loss. Both revelations forced me to make the two most difficult decisions of my life and to leave behind that which had promised to be a place of safety, and protection.

If I could sum up what Pluto in Capricorn has been for me personally, it would be the death of love. The Catholic Church (since it is the leaving I’m comfortable sharing here) makes promises of unconditional love. It claims to be a safe and secure place. I was invited into the embrace of the Church as a lay minister and celebrated for my work there…..until I wasn’t. What ultimately forced me to leave was that the Church made me choose between them and Christ. I chose Christ. In arriving at that choice, however, I saw all the ways that the Church was NOT being Christ in the world. I saw that the love of the Church is the definition of conditional as it requires obedience to the institution – at the expense of God. Weird.

While Pluto’s journey through Capricorn led me down some truly painful paths, and forced difficult decisions – what it ultimately provided for me (kicking and screaming) was FREEDOM. Freedom from counterfeit love. Freedom from institutional control. Freedom to think with my own mind, speak my own truth, LIVE my own truth. This journey has also taught what IS NOT Love.

Perhaps Pluto in Aquarius will be a gentler time for us worn out and weary Capricorns. And if I could hope for one thing – it would be that Pluto in Aquarius might show us what Love truly is. Admittedly, with our hearts broken our ability to receive this Love might be tentative (I’m still not quite sure how I feel about God), but my understanding is that True Love meets us where we are at – broken hearted and all.