From the Eagle’s Perch

There is no doubt that we are living through troubling times. Between the chaos in the world and uncertainty around humanity’s survival, it is easy to lose hope. So much of what we have come to rely on is proving to be on shaky ground. What we once clung to for security has shown itself to be nothing more than an illusion at best, a bold-faced lie at worst. All that which has been rooted in fear is rising to be seen as the manipulation that it is.

Humanity is waking up. But in this waking up, all our dreams of security, surety, and safety are being shattered. With the death of every dream, we grieve. Grieving includes shock, trauma, terror, denial, bargaining, rage, depression/immobility/dissociation, and deep sorrow. In tending to our grief and the expected unknowns that follow death we may fall into negativity and despair, believing all is lost.

When we examine this awakening from the center of our grief, fear is a natural response. As a species, we like to believe we are in control of our fate and the unfolding of the plans we have made. When new worlds are being born, it is often difficult, if not impossible, to see glimpses of these new worlds as everything around us seems to be collapsing. Remaining too close to the symptoms of collapse can keep us from seeing the opportunities that are being born in the midst of it, and what these opportunities might bring on the other side. This is where seeing from the eagle’s perch becomes a helpful practice.

In the past, some have accused me of being a prophet. If prophet means one who knows how to read the sign of the times, then I accept that accusation as true. Life has shown me that I do see and that what I see almost always happens to be true. Some don’t like me because of this gift because they cannot stand in my presence and not be seen for who they truly are. Those with nothing to hide stand securely under my gaze. Liars, on the other hand, tend to run.

As it relates to world events, I see in a similar way. I see patterns with predictable outcomes based on similar patterns from the past. History, if not healed, DOES repeat itself (all we have to do is look to the war in Gaza to see this truth realized). Through this sight, I am able to predict an outcome of an event or experience if it follows a certain trajectory. The good news is that trajectories can change, therefore changing the outcome. Knowing this, I have often used my voice to warn of the likely outcome of a certain trajectory, hoping that humans might listen and change their own path (we have the power to do this!).

Further, I am able to see far beyond the current timeline and trajectory to the ultimate outcome. As it relates to human beings, I see two possible destinations: self-created extinction or the creation of a better world. It is entirely possible that humanity will choose extinction by refusing to rid itself of that which is rooted in fear, which then results in the human compulsions of greed, gluttony, lust for power, wrath, envy, sloth and pride.  These, if not healed will be the end of us all.

More likely, I see humanity making a different choice. I see humanity growing weary of a world created in gluttony, greed, etc. and in that weariness, seeking another way. Already, I have seen evidence of this movement from weariness to not only seeking but creating change. As much as I am often frustrated by humanity’s stubbornness and ill-will, I not only believe, but SEE that far more humans are generous, loving, peaceful, and kind. These are the humans who I see as coming together to change the tide. In fact, they already are – we just have to bring ourselves to a higher view in order to see them.  To bring ourselves to that higher view, we must transcend our own fears of the dying world, heal our conditioned fears and rise above that which would otherwise bring us down. Only in doing our own inner work are we able to clearly see the purpose of this collapse and the promise of a new world trying to be born.

An important note: Seeing from a higher perch doesn’t happen because we engaged in “positive thinking.”  Neither is it because we have become masters of spiritual bypass or disassociation. Instead, it is the result of deep, inner healing and practice where we are actively pursing the transformation and release of everything that has been made out of fear. In doing this work, WE are the ones who are coming together to choose a new world – one made out of kindness, generosity, and love; and not the one made out of fear.

How are you transforming your fears and unhealed wounds so that you can not only see, but participate in bringing forth this new world?

Don’t Be Fooled!

Human beings are most vulnerable when afraid. It is when we are afraid that we are most vulnerable to the manipulation of others. Fear causes us to look for something – anything – to help ease our fear – even if what seems to ease our fear is a lie. When afraid, we just want something – anything – anyone – to promise we will be alright. Even when that promise includes something that might cause us harm. The promise might cost us emotionally, mentally, psychologically, physically, and most definitely, financially.

I have seen the evil that preys on fear at work in our world in a multitude of ways. In truth, it’s everywhere.  It’s in the “shaman” that promises to cure your psychosis.  It’s in the “influencers” who wave shiny objects in front of us, promising they will make us better, popular, famous, etc. It’s in so-called “reality TV” showing false images of beauty, wealth, status, and fame. It is in snake-oil salespersons promising a cure for cancer, ALS, Parkinson’s, and any other undesired medical diagnosis. It’s in the unsavory fitness and diet gurus promising their way is the only way to weight loss and long life. It’s in an advertising industry that purposefully preys on our fears, promising that their product is the solution to that fear. It’s in anyone speaking from the farthest reaches of the spectrum promising their way is the only right way and that anyone else is wrong.

We are living in a time in which humanity’s fears are at their highest – a world plagued by war, disease (including pandemics), homelessness, poverty, and hunger. The threat of nuclear war feels very much alive. Earthquakes and volcanoes are erupting at unprecedented levels. Our food and water resources have been poisoned. Weather has become increasingly violent. Millions of people recently lost their lives to Covid. A million more are currently facing annihilation under the orders of fascist dictators hiding behind the masks of democracy.

Humanity has good reason to feel afraid. Fear is a natural, human, response to anything that is outside of our realm of control. Fear, however, does not need to destroy us, and it is most certainly not a reason to give ourselves over to the false promises of charlatans, or anyone promising to have the cure for what ails us. Instead, the answer to fear is that which allows us to move through it so that we might return to our center where we can be in touch with – not someone else’s truth – but our own truth. As Frank Herbert wrote in his immortal classic, Dune:

When we are afraid, we are vulnerable to the manipulations of those who prey on our fears. When we sit with, move past and through our fear, we are able to return to our original nature of peaceful equilibrium. In this place of inner peace, we will see and know the truth. We are able to see through the masks worn by those seeking to have power over us through our fears. Equally, we are able to distinguish truth from falsehood. In this, we will see clearly those who might be authentic support for us in the face of whatever we are fearing – not by making us dependent upon their lies, but empowered in our own truth. Becoming comfortable with our fear and learning effective tools for being with and moving through those fears, makes us immune to manipulation and unable to be fooled by those who might otherwise seek to cause us harm.


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Open to Possibility

Surrendering to this time of recovery has given me ample opportunity to examine my life and what I believe to be my mission and purpose. At sixty years old, the expression of that mission has changed (somewhat), but the mission remains the same: being a force of transformation in a changing world.

  • Bearing witness
  • Holding space
  • Being love
  • Sharing tools for healing and growth
  • Speaking truth
  • Providing counsel and hope
  • Sharing what I see and hear

As it relates to the world today: guiding humanity through the death of the world as we have known it while preparing them for the world yet to be. (Cue Livin’ it Up from Hadestown) The ancients gave the title psychopomp to those charged with this important task.

  • Commitment to my daily spiritual practices
  • Praying without ceasing
  • Steel-clad boundaries
  • Honoring the fragile nature of my physical body and the even more fragile nature of my energy.

I’m done giving more than I can give.

This commitment to self so that I might better serve my mission, has led me more and more deeply into a monastic, contemplative lifestyle. I am becoming the hermit I have always longed to be.

With one little hiccup: a capitalistic world that doesn’t recognize hermit as a valid profession, and therefore, does not provide for those called to a monastic kind of life. For me, this hiccup has been like a nagging sliver that I just can’t get rid of. I think the perceived conflict between the Soul’s calling and the material world is one that plagues those currently called to a gentler (and perhaps new world) life.  I know I’m not alone in this struggle. This has left me at conflict with myself and the world as I stress about money, making money, working a “real” job, etc. etc. It has felt like an unanswerable question and a conflict I’m doomed to endure until the end of my life.

But then, yesterday, after I came out of the heavy waters of the Capricorn full moon, I heard some new words:

Immediate shift in perception!  Instead of feeling stuck in the one scenario that has been playing through my mind, I suddenly remembered: God/the Soul has a plan. How that plan is brought into being is none of our business. Our only job is to be clear about what we want, and let God figure out the rest. The outcome may not be exactly as we had wished for, but in my life experience, when we let go and let God, the outcome is ALWAYS far better than we could have ever imagined for ourselves.

Does this mean that one day soon the Universe may provide the means by which I can fully embrace the hermit life and tend to that which I deeply feel called to do? I don’t know. But at least now, I am open to the possibility.

Love Waiting to Be Found

*an excerpt from my book, Choosing Love.

A man I know to be one of the kindest, most generous, faithful, and humble human beings, posted a horribly negative comment against our incoming government officials who are of the Muslim faith.  I joined my daughter in righteous anger over his comments.  How could someone who claims to be a devout Christian, and otherwise a good, kind, and generous man believe such horrible things of our Muslim brothers and sisters?  I was angry, but beyond the anger, I felt horribly sad.  How could this man, for whom I otherwise have the utmost respect, believe that his hatred and fear of Muslims is any way shape or form consistent with Jesus’ teachings?  I wanted to step in and ask him if he had read the story of The Good Samaritan (Luke 10: 25-37) – a story Jesus used to teach us that often the kindest and most “Godly” acts are performed by those who are not of our “tribe” or “belief system.”  I also wanted to quote the story of the Syrophoenician woman (Mark 7: 24-30) who was instrumental in converting Jesus of his own beliefs – who through her persistence and insistence convinced Jesus that he was here for the whole world – not just the tribes of Israel.  I refrained from commenting, but I still found myself troubled. So I brought this quandary to prayer.

This is when my compassion stepped in.  My friend, in his fear and hatred of Muslims is simply believing what he has been taught by the version of Christianity to which he subscribes – a version cloaked in the same fear of “the other” that he already carried in his mind.  To me, this is very sad.  And yet, this man, like every single human being walking this planet, is a vessel of Love just waiting to be found.  Quite simply, he hasn’t yet found the fullness of his Love – the Love he already is and was made to be, but which is currently hidden beneath a curtain of fear.  He freely and generously loves those who believe as he does and in his working profession, generously loves those in need of his service.  But, because he doesn’t yet know the fullness of the Love that he is and he hasn’t yet discovered the fullness of Divine love, he is not yet able to love every human being in the way that God does.  Here he is bearing out Jesus’ most profound and simplest teaching:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.”  Mark 12: 30-31

This scripture has most often been interpreted as a commandment, but it could just as easily be taken as an observation of what is true.  We are only capable of loving our neighbor to the extent that we love ourselves.  Put another way, the degree to which we can love other human beings is proportionate to the degree to which we believe in God’s love for us, and the degree to which we are able to love ourselves as God loves us.  This is a plain and simple human truth.  My friend is unable to love his Muslim brothers and sisters because for some reason he does not yet comprehend the vast and unconditional nature of God’s love and in this, is also unable to unconditionally love himself.  He still has more love in him waiting to be found.

The same is true of all of us.  Each one of us is Love waiting to be found.  And every one of us is somewhere along the continuum of finding and then living from that love. Our actions on this human plane reflect the degree to which we know the love that we are. 

This brings me to the topic of evil.  In the human experience we witness a whole lot of what we are tempted to judge as evil.  Evil, we have been taught, is the antithesis of love and something to fear and work toward eradicating. We are taught that God judges us according to our evil and that we are then punished accordingly.  This is not what Jesus taught – but it is how fearful men have interpreted Jesus’ teachings and used this interpretation to gain an advantage.   The issue is ultimately one of translation. 

Evil does not mean the same thing as the word Jesus used that has been translated into “evil.”  The Aramaic word Jesus used was bisha (Neil Douglas Klotz, Prayers of the Cosmos).  Bisha is an agricultural word which simply means unripe.  When Jesus uses the word “evil” in scripture, he is simply observing the unripe nature of the person committing said-evil.  There is no judgment here, only a direct observation of the actions arising out of one who has not yet ripened in love. 

When we have not uncovered the fullness of our Love, then we act from limited and fearful states.  In God’s eyes, we are not “evil” in the way that we understand this word in our English language – we are unripe – our fruit is immature.  I like to think of it this way – when we walk up to an apple tree and see that the apples are not yet ripe, we don’t shake our fist in condemnation over the unripe apples.  We simply wait until apples are ripe. 

The same is true of God.  God is watching all of us, patiently waiting for us to come into our own ripeness and loving us through every stage of our own personal process.  We are all Love waiting to be found and God is waiting along with us – excitedly and with anticipation – the same way we anxiously and excitedly wait for our own children to reveal who they truly are. 

We are all love waiting to be found and the Divine is here loving us into knowing the fullness of this love.  It is up to us to say yes.  We say yes every time we are willing to receive healing for the fears and unhealed wounds that otherwise hide our love. In the end, this is my prayer for my friend – that he finds healing for the fears within him that are limiting his ability to know and live from the fullness of the Love that I already see glowing within him.


Choosing Love is a collection of fifty-two spiritual lessons and practices for personal and global transformation. These lessons and practices invite you to shake off the cloak of cultural conditioning and discover the freedom of the LOVE hidden within. Here there is no God to appease, no outside perceived authority whose approval needs to be earned, and nothing that can keep you from being and living as your most authentic self. LOVE is who you are. Choose that LOVE.

Being Love in a Divided World

We live in a divided world. Divided by gender, sexual orientation, race, nationality, religion, and politics – to name a few. When viewed as sacred differences that make each of us uniquely special, these differences serve us. When treated as something to be judged or feared, these divisions cause us harm, leading to prejudice, hatred, violence, and war.

Our differences are meant to be our gifts, instead humanity has turned them into the cause of hate. Hatred, however, is a choice. We can continue to choose hate, which leads to the devolution of humanity, and our eventual extinction; or we can choose Love and be witness to and participants in the grand evolution of human consciousness which would lead to all kinds of miracles – the likes of which we can hardly begin to imagine.

I choose Love.

Choosing Love, however, is no simple task. In fact, it has taken me a lifetime to even come close to being the Love that I truly want to be in the world. My version of Being Love is by no means perfect. There are people I continue to despise. There are experiences and situations that hurl me into a rage. There are times I want to say or do the unkind thing. I’m still human after all.  I don’t, however, act on the surface feelings of my unhealed wounds, neither do I purposefully cause harm. Choosing Love is a moment by moment task.

Choosing Love is also a lifetime process. This process begins by learning to identify every obstacle in front of, and within us, to love. Then we are invited to enter into the arduous task of clearing those obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are the result of human conditioning – the ways in which we were taught to be and act in our family systems, our communities, our culture, our society, our world. Sometimes identifying our conditioning is simple and the choice to move past that conditioning is easy. Other times, it can be quite complicated as our conditioning is often subtle, even unconscious.

Beyond conditioning, the obstacles to love are all the places within us where we have been wounded. These wounds include times were felt betrayed, where our needs were ignored or denied, where we were criticized or condemned for who we are, where we felt unloved or were treated in non-loving ways. These wounds include past abuse, rejection, and times our love was met with hate. These unhealed wounds are, in turn, the cause of our own non-loving behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs.

Division is a choice.  So too is Love. Choosing Love begins by choosing Love for ourselves, and doing to the deep and challenging work of healing the inner obstacles to knowing and being that Love. As we transform ourselves, we are more free to be Love and being that Love plants the seeds of inspiration for others to do the same. When we are faced with Division, Choose Love. When challenged by hate, choose Love. When our unhealed wounds are triggered by the unhealed wounds of another, choose the loving thing and heal our wounds.

As our world appears to be increasingly divided, we can choose to participate in that division, or we can choose to Be Love.

I choose Love.


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Unraveling the Wound of ME

I don’t know about you, but this past week has been quite a doozy!  I wouldn’t even bother to write about it except that nearly everyone I know has shared the common experience of a “what the heck was that?” kind of week.

Some of the things I’ve heard, witnessed, and been a party to:

  • DEEP Depression the likes of which we haven’t seen in months/years.
  • Strangely triggering experiences with disproportionate reactions.
  • Not just rugs, entire carpets being pulled out from beneath us.
  • A feeling (literal and figurative) of losing the ground beneath our feet.
  • Old, ancient wounds – ones we thought we were done with – paying us a visit.
  • Sudden losses including the ending of relationships.
  • Final straws on camel’s backs calling for immediate response.
  • Complete immobility, lack of motivation and/or interest…in anything.
  • Unexplained sorrow and intermittent tears.

I can’t even begin to offer an explanation of why any of this is happening, or the causes behind it.  I just know it is and has been. For me it’s been a week of writhing and groaning with a whole lot of nothing.  Nothing to do.  Nothing to be. Just nothing. And the realization that there are just not enough shows on Netflix to soothe a week such as the one we just had.

Yes, the world itself is insane. But, for me anyway, the past week felt much more personal – but even that said, I can’t put a finger on what the personal is. My normal inquiry, “What is the wound that is asking to be healed?” just isn’t working here. Either I’m fresh out of wounds, or I, myself, am the wound.

I don’t mean this in any sense of self-loathing or self-rejection (or do I?). But…. accompanying the writhing this past week was a whole lot of life-reviews. Visions and memories of really old stuff – experiences that caused me shame or regret, decisions I made that went wrongly, past relationships, old jobs that didn’t fit, every single experience/relationship that felt abusive in some way.

I’m not one to spend time entertaining regret. Shame, however, is another story. Shame, that in hindsight, I had no reason to feel. You see, it wasn’t my shame. It was someone else’s rejection, critique, or condemnation of me for any number of reasons. I wasn’t thin enough. I ate too much. I was too smart. I saw through their lies and bullshit. I couldn’t perform a certain task (through no fault of my own). My lifestyle choices and desire for ease didn’t fit theirs. I exercised the wrong way. I could see the truth they didn’t want me to see. My goals, desires, wants, weren’t the same as theirs. I didn’t obey the rules they wanted to impose upon me. I questioned authority. I challenged hypocrisy.   

There was no reason for me to feel shame for any of this – but, as it turns out, I did/do. Why? Because the rejection, condemnation, etc. was PERSONAL. It wasn’t the actions or behaviors they were rejecting.  It was ME they were rejecting. It was ME because the things these individuals and institutions chose to reject were all based on WHO I TRULY AM. All those years in the past I spent trying to just be myself and being told WHO I AM is not ok.

  • My body is what it is and can’t be forced into a certain shape or size (no matter how hard I tried).
  • My metabolism is what it is and before menopause I had to eat large portions just to survive.
  • I’m smart. I can’t help it. I just am.  I know things. I remember things. I like to learn.
  • I prefer ease to chaos, gentle to harsh, peace to conflict.
  • I’m an introvert. I like people, but I thrive in solitude.
  • I’m outgoing but shy.
  • I don’t like to toot my own horn, or wave a banner to my success.
  • I’m humble.
  • I can read people and I know immediately when someone is lying, a liar, or taking advantage of my generosity and I have a visceral response to these awarenesses. I can’t help it.  I just know and the knowing is somatic.
  • I live by my own truth barometer and profess no outside perceived authority except MYSELF.

All of these things are true about me and part of who I am. I can’t help it. It’s just ME.

All this to come to the realization that indeed, the wound that is asking to be healed in me and which arose through all the weirdness this past week (for me anyway) is the wound of ME. Every single thing, experience, interaction, etc. that causes me to feel as if there is something wrong with ME. That something about ME is wrong. That I have to apologize for who I am or beg for what I need to be ME.

 Image credit: Facebook AI portrait generator. Turns out this one actually looks like me!  😊

Calling All Warriors

As the RNC pulls out of Milwaukee, and the DNC moves toward penetrating Chicago, (puns intended), we find ourselves at a dangerous crossroads – all roads leading toward disaster.  At this crossroads we have an opportunity to make a deal with the devil, or find ourselves another way through this mess.

Indeed, we are staring the death of the republic in the face. Horrible to look at and yet we cannot look away!  This is an ending we have sadly brought upon ourselves.

As with the fall of Rome, we are facing an inevitable death – and die it will.  But unlike the Romans, we are being given a choice in the empire’s end.  We can allow ourselves to be destroyed by it – or rise above (or as I prefer – to burrow beneath).

Whether you are a “rise above” or a “burrow beneath” person, the formula is the same:

As a shadow worker, my job is to go to ground – to enter fully into the darkness that it may be transformed – darkness made of humanity’s fears and unhealed wounds.  Like a cicada, I dive deep into the detritus of humanity’s pain, wriggling and writhing until the pain has been released.  This I do safely in the shelter of my sanctuary that I call home.

Equally called to be a light bringer, I go about my day to day endeavors simply being me.  I have experienced that in my presence, either shadows are revealed, or others become more aware of their light.  Whatever the effects – the recoiling rejection brought forth by shadow’s emergence, or the welcome of light’s/love’s reflection – I’ve learned to hold it all.

If any of this rambling speaks to you – you are one of the warriors to whom I’ve addressed this message. We’ve been given a difficult call – to witness to the end of the world (as we’ve known it), BUT we’ve also been given the wisdom, knowledge, and tools to endure.  Our task is this:

Love-speed sisters and brothers, we are in this together.  Even if solitary – we are never alone!

It is all we came here to do.

With deep gratitude and love,

Lauri


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Living in Dark Times

We are living in dark times. In the United States where I live, we are facing very real threats to our liberties and our freedoms. In the past I have hesitated to call these actions “evil” because I do not believe in an external force of evil that is set out to harm us. As I no longer believe in an anthropomorphic “devil,” I cannot believe in evil as a malevolent force outside of us.

I still don’t believe in evil as an external god-like force, but after a week of deep prayer and meditation, especially around the evils I have experienced in my own life, I arrived upon an understanding of evil that I can agree to:

When put into the context of what I believe about our human journey – its purpose and goal – which is to remember our original nature as Love/One by healing and transforming our unhealed fears, non-loving conditioning, trauma, woundedness, etc. I can believe in evil in this way.

History has shown this to be true. Nazi Germany – the Jewish Holocaust – and now the ongoing genocide in Palestine.  Naziism arose out of the unhealed fears/wounds of WW1, which led to the Holocaust.  Unhealed wounds over the Holocaust could be argued as the root of anti-Palestinian sentiments, oppression, and now genocide which has become the hallmark of Netanyahu’s hard-right Zionist movement. (to be clear…..I am not antisemitic. I am anti-genocide).

Something similar could be said of the United States – the core of our current (ongoing) troubles can be summed up in Isabel Wilkerson’s exploration of caste – a system based in the belief that “one kind of person is more deserving of freedom than another kind.” When western Europeans first settled in what later became “America,” they brought with them the wounds of the caste systems in which they were imprisoned. Never healing these wounds, they ended up inflicting the same kind of system on the indigenous who were already here, and later on every single group that was deemed “less than.” Caste, as Wilkerson argues, transcends racism. As such, Caucasians also suffer the effects of caste.

This unacknowledged caste system is at the root of our troubles and at the heart of it resides the unhealed wounds and fears of our collective past resulting in a lot of angry people who for generations have been ignored, oppressed, trod upon, denied dignity, honor and respect. When we examine this description, we see that nearly all of us qualify as suffering from caste in one way or another. The only ones who don’t suffer are those who have positioned themselves as “the ruling caste.” In the United States, these are extremely wealthy white men (and their complicit women) who have both stolen and been voluntarily given too much power.

Stolen power is easy to identify. Voluntarily given power is more difficult to comprehend. Who, in their right mind, would give an already powerful human more power? In short – those who feel most victimized by caste and who are desperately looking for someone to save them – specifically, those of the higher caste who promise to elevate another’s caste once put into power.

This is the work of evil – capitalizing on another’s unhealed wounds, vulnerability, and sense of powerlessness so that they might gain more power. The goal of evil is never to help or assist the “lesser-thans,” it is only to wrest more power from them.

But what can we do in the face of such evil? Are we indeed powerless as the powerful and victimized would have us believe? The short answer is NO!  We are not powerless and we do have tools and resources to help us combat this evil.

Yes, I said combat. I’ve never been one to jump on the “spiritual warfare” bandwagon, because that platform is rooted in the idea of a malevolent external source over which we have no power, and equally benevolent forces who we must call to our aid – again because we ourselves are powerless.

I do not believe in our powerlessness. Instead, I believe that when we understand the root cause of evil in our world, then we have an entire arsenal of weapons at our disposal – ones we can engage in and call on anytime and which are in our own power to use and through their use effect change.

To effect this change, we must first understand that the root of evil is unhealed wounds and unacknowledged fear. We must then understand that the transformation of evil occurs when we individually and collectively work to heal those fears. Finally, as  Ulrich E. Duprée reminds in his book Ho’oponopono – the Hawaiian Ritual of Forgiveness, the fears and unhealed wounds we see in others are merely a reflection of the same fears in ourselves. When we engage in practices which support our own healing, there is a ripple effect that helps to bring healing to others.

With this, I offer two solid and effective practices for healing the unhealed fears and wounds in ourselves which can then help to support healing in others:

Recite the following mantra, directing the words toward yourself and to any feelings of fear or woundedness you might feel within yourself:

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

I love you.

Thank you.

An oldie moldy from my Catholic upbringing. Again, pray this prayer TO the fears and unhealed wounds within yourself. Feel free to change the language to fit your own personal beliefs:

Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.

Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.

May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do Thou,

O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the Power of God,

cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits,

who prowl through the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.

If you have other tools that you have found to be helpful, please share them in the comment section below!  We are all here to take part of the healing of humanity so that one day we can all truly be free!

Tested in Fire: New LIVE Course

Live online course with Lauri Ann Lumby

Six sessions

Wednesdays 6:30 – 8:30 pm central time

May 8 – June 12, 2024

Live via ZOOM*

After we have tasted the unifying experience of Union with God/Source/Love that we experience at ascension (enlightenment, bliss, etc.) we are cast out of that bliss into a process in which we are “tested like gold that is tested in fire.” The ancients have called this the journey of descent.  Here we come face to face with all the aspects of ourselves that are not wholly rooted in love: our unhealed fears, past traumas, societal conditioning, and ego attachments. In this we are invited to confront our own inner “demons” and transform them into vehicles of Love so that we might fulfill the purpose of the human spiritual journey – the embodiment of Love/God.

In this six-week course, you will:

  • Explore the psychology of the journey of descent as it relates to human development.
  • Acknowledge and confront the challenges inherent in the journey of descent.
  • Learn the language and stages of descent through the Tree of Life as articulated in ancient pre-Christian mystical traditions.
  • Come to understand the Tree of Death as a vehicle of liberation from egoic attachments.
  • Find support in identifying that which limits your ability to know and be Love.
  • Provided with tools for transforming the “demons” experienced in the journey of descent into vehicles of Love.
  • Grow in becoming the embodiment of Love.

This course is:

  • Inspired by scholarship
  • Anchored in original source material
  • Grounded in sound mindfulness and creativity practices
  • Incorporating tried and tested methods for transformation
  • Rooted in the psychology of human development

** For those who have already taken the Beyond Ascension course, Tested in Fire stands on its own while going into much greater depth than was able to be covered in the Beyond Ascension class.  

Beyond Ascension: Shadow Work

The farther we move along the path of our spiritual growth, the more our unhealed wounds, unacknowledged fears and ego-attachments rear their ugly heads.  These are the thought-forms, emotional reactions and behavior patterns that interfere with our ability to continue confidently on our path toward self-actualization.  Shadow work is the broad term that describes the spiritual practices that support us in healing and transforming these fears so that we are once again free to pursue the path of our highest good. 

Life Purpose

Our life’s purpose is to become self-actualized.  Through the process of self-actualization we are empowered to discover, nurture, cultivate and become empowered in our unique giftedness.  We are called to find meaning and purpose in our lives through the sharing of these gifts, for the sake of our own fulfillment, and in service to the betterment of the world.  Our soul is driven to pursue this path of self-actualization and it is through restlessness and longing that we are driven.

Spiritual Awakening

Somewhere around the time of our first Saturn return, we begin to awaken to the calling of our Soul, and again with renewed vigor at midlife.  We become dissatisfied with life as we know it, longing for something that is more fulfilling and which gives our life a sense of meaning and purpose.  We are awakened through restlessness, boredom, dissatisfaction, impatience and an insatiable yearning for that which we cannot yet describe.

Spiritual Growth

As we pursue this inner longing, we are led to resources and tools to support us in our spiritual growth.  In this process of spiritual growth, we seek to uncover the answer to three questions: 

Who am I?

Whose am I?

What are my gifts and how am I called to use them?

Spiritual Practices

It is through our spiritual practices that we find the answer to these questions.  Any activity that supports us in remembering peace, love and joy can be considered a spiritual practice when approached as such.  Meditation, prayer, mindfulness, contemplation, movement, rigorous physical exercise, being in nature, creative expression, the search for knowledge, our interpersonal relationships, and lovemaking can all be vehicles through which we come in contact with our Soul – our highest truth and the path toward self-actualization. It is also through these practices that we come in contact with our shadow.

The Shadow

The shadow is made up of our unacknowledged fears, ego- attachments and unhealed wounds.  It is within the shadow that we carry the pain of every rejection, criticism, condemnation, betrayal, disappointment, failure, loss, trauma, and every self-defense mechanism we ever built around this pain.  It is in the shadow where our fears reside, along with the part of us that seeks approval from or power over others.  It is also within the shadow that we carry our self-rejection – every experience or aspect of ourselves that has been set aside as imperfect, ugly, shameful, and condemnable.  The shadow contains all that we have hidden from ourselves and attempted to hide from the world.

What We Resist Persists

There is great wisdom in the Buddhist adage, “What we resist will persist.”  This is especially true of the shadow.  Ignoring our fears, unhealed wounds, ego- attachments and self-rejection allowed us the illusion of safety, or at the very least, control.  Safety and control, however, are simply illusions.  Ignoring our past hurts did not save us from future wounding.  In fact, ignoring those hurts likely caused us to become more vulnerable.  No matter how much we push these fears and unhealed wounds away, the more they tend to find their way out through passive aggressive behaviors, negative and disproportionate reactions, self-numbing and self-harming behaviors.  As we move along the path of our spiritual growth, we find that the more we try to resist what we placed in the shadows, the more it seeks to be known.

Shadow Work

This is where shadow work proves beneficial and ultimately empowering.  Shadow work is the courageous process of confronting the ghosts of our past and bringing them to the light.  Engaging in shadow work, we take the time to identify and be present to every fear, unhealed wound and ego-attachment that might try to hinder us on our path of spiritual growth.  We allow ourselves to be present to the hurt, the pain, the fear, the anger, and every emotion in between as we allow those “demons” to be healed and transformed.  As we allow ourselves to be present, we are freed from these fears and are empowered to continue in the way of our truth.


3 live, online sessions

March 6, 13 and 20, 2024

Wednesdays 6:30 – 8:30 pm (Central Time)

LIVE via ZOOM