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The Practice of Bearing Witness

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Today has been a weird day – a study of contrasts of sorts. For me, the day began as it normally does – in prayer. Then a friend and I set out on an art adventure. On both of our minds were the ongoing protests in Los Angeles, along with the “No Kings” protests scheduled all around the country for today – purposefully to coincide with the “Big Beautiful Birthday Parade.” Our shared hope was that the protests be peaceful and the protestors safe. Equally, we voiced our concerns over the state of our nation – the threats to our freedoms, along with the failing system of checks and balances that we were taught were supposed to protect these freedoms.

We are living in uncertain times – times that trigger our fears and appropriately incite our righteous anger. The temptation to react to these triggers through violence is strong. A fire burns within us in the face of injustices being done to our fellow human beings, especially the most vulnerable among us. And yet, violence only begets more violence and burning with hatred solves nothing. Instead, we are invited to seek a different path.

For me, the path has always been quiet, solitary, and non-violent. As an introvert, you will never find me at a protest. Neither will you find me inciting violence against the perceived “other.” Even today, in light of the political assassinations in my own hometown of Minneapolis, I cannot feel hatred toward the assassin. I can only feel deep sorrow for one who is so broken to believe this was the right and appropriate thing to do. Further, my prayers go out to the deceased, their families, and friends.

Our nation is profoundly broken. The easy thing is to choose sides, hating on one while celebrating the other. Out of our instinctual need to feel safe, we might spiral into anticipatory planning – imagining every possible scenario while planning our response. In our need to control, we may believe that taking action is the best response including reacting to every trigger thrown our way.

The reality is this mess is not going to resolve itself overnight. We cannot anticipate the direction this current unfolding of the American experiment will take. We cannot predict what the horse loose in the hospital will do or attempt to do. Really, all we can do is be present to this moment, wait, breathe, and watch. If we are called to respond, take action, speak out, etc., it is only in the present moment that the proper response will be revealed.

For me, this ongoing unfolding/unraveling of the “American Dream” has provided an opportunity for me to hone my practice of non-action as demonstrated in my call to simply be witness. Further, it has shown me over and over my tendency to want to control, change, or fix what I perceive to be disordered or wrong. This practice has carried over not only in relation to American politics, but also into my everyday life.

You see, I’m a recovering perfectionist. For sixty years, I believed it was my job to fix and change everything that (to me) appears to be wrong. With great moral certitude and an eye for judgment, I have spent my life with a gavel in one hand and my pen of righteousness in the other. With troubleshooting as a highly cultivated defense mechanism, resentment and self-righteousness have fueled my journey as I try to share my “gifts” and get met with a brick wall.

Oh yes, I could most definitely be right about what is wrong and I may even know how to fix it……but, is that really my job? Is that why I was put here, to “heal and save the world?” With the amount of resistance I’ve faced because of my “gifts,” I would say “probably not.”

It’s not my job to save the world. It’s not my job to save our nation. It’s not my job to fix what is broken or repair what has gone wrong. Instead, it is my job to cultivate my own peace while bearing witness to all that is happening before me, and to be here for those who might need support in cultivating their own peace in a world gone mad, or to provide comfort to those who find themselves in their own personal battles trying to get through this thing called life.

Life is hard enough without making every conflict our own. As much as it grieves me to admit this, I have found that when we allow things to unfold on their own, they tend to find their own resolution – the horse will one day either find its way out of the hospital or it will die trying.

Hold the Line

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

Hold the Line

Love isn’t always on time.

These are the words that keep dancing around in my head. As we are continuing to be witness to the collapse of the world as we have known it, these are important words to remember.

Love does not come in our time.  Love comes in “God’s” time. We are not in charge of the unfolding of current events. Instead, we are witnesses and Love-bearers.

As witnesses our job is to watch, observe, and hold space for all the many faces of grief we will experience in the face of the death-throes of the patriarchy. As Love-bearers, we are meant to observe the unfolding from a place of non-judgment and detachment.

Love is universal. All are made by and for Love. Even (especially) those we perceive to be living a life contrary to Love. Jesus said “Love thy neighbor,” and “Pray for your enemies.”  Our neighbors are those we perceive to be like us. Our enemies – well, we know who they are. We are called to Love them – one and all.

I know, easier said than done. When we watch humans being cruel toward each other, treating one another with disrespect, acting as if some are deserving of liberties and others are not, it is hard.

When it is hard, we are called to pray for ourselves.  “Help me in my unbelief.” “Forgive them, they know not what they do.” “Into your hands I commend my spirit.”  “Teach me how to Love.”

All are wounded seeking to be free. Some know they are wounded and are seeking their own healing. Most aren’t even aware they’re wounded and are simply acting out of those wounds.

Love one another. Pray for each other’s healing.

And don’t interfere. It is said “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”  The same is true of humans. The difference between horses and humans is that humans can’t even be led. All we can do is our own work of being Love in the world and being that Love more fully. Sometimes, our presence awakens others to the Love within themselves, and to the invitation to knowing that Love. Sometimes our presence pisses people off. Neither is within our control. It’s not personal. It’s none of our business.

Each of our names are written on the palm of God’s hands. Our lives are written in Her book. If you are reading this, you are here simply for the purpose of Love. Be that Love and live from that Love and that is all you need to know.

Hold the line. The Love that you are is always on time.

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Don’t Miss Our Archives

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Again, welcome to new subscribers. As a new arrival to this community, I wanted to give you the opportunity to get caught up on some topics that might be important to you! Click on the links below for topical articles and lessons.

Mary Magdalene

Modern Monasticism

Jesus in the Modern World

Scripture through an Informed Lens

Mindfulness

Self-Actualization

Raised Catholic

Thank you for allowing yourself to receive the nourishment and support through these “musings.” I appreciate your presence here and your contribution to the ongoing unfolding of human evolution!

With love,

Lauri

Welcome New Subscribers!

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

I want to officially and gratefully welcome all my new subscribers! Subscribing to my blog is the best way to receive FREE content including inspirational support, educational insights, and more. This is also where I will share updates on new courses, course discounts, LIVE gatherings, books, and icon art.

It is also through the blog and engaging with my site that we can grow our community so that more can benefit from the resources provided here, along with discussion through the blog comment section.

I’m grateful for your presence and for your continued engagement. Together, we just might succeed in helping our world turn to Love.

With love,

Lauri Ann Lumby

lauri@lauriannlumby.com

PS If you’re seeing this and aren’t yet a subscriber, scroll to the bottom of this page and enter your email into the subscribe area below, then hit “subscribe.” We look forward to your presence!

Living Against the Grain

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Monastic Living in the Modern World is ultimately about living against the grain. In every way, shape, and form, choosing to live monastically requires us to step away, disconnect, and decondition ourselves from all that society has set out as its values and goals.

Living monastically has nothing to do with capitalistic definitions of success including the search for fame, wealth, and power. Living monastically is not about driving, striving, or achieving. Monastic living is not about working hard, and it has nothing to do with society’s constant pressure to do. Living monastically is not about being seen, heard, or known. Choosing to live monastically is not the path if we wish to be considered valuable or appreciated by those outside of us.

By society’s standards, choosing to live monastically is a thankless choice, but for those called to this way of life, it is our soul that gives us thanks.

The monastic calling is one that honors a certain type of soul with a unique kind of temperament. Those called to this way of life often have a deep connection with Mystery – otherwise known as: God/Transcendence/Spirit/Presence/The Source of All that Is. They are often people of learning – driven to explore the knowledge of others so as to find their own truth. Those called to a monastic kind of life are sometimes extroverts but are more likely to be inclined toward introversion. They are deep thinkers and even deeper feelers. They are often creatives with a penchant toward self-expression through writing, drawing, painting, sculpting, etc. They see wonder in all things, especially nature and art. They may be single or coupled while treasuring their solitude. They seek after quiet and long to move gently upon this human plane. They thrive equally in the company of beauty and simplicity.

Ultimately, those called to live monastically seek to live simply in a world that on most days looks absolutely mad.

There is a reason why those called to monastic living have historically separated themselves from society. Whether a hermit in the desert, a witch in the woods, or a nun in a monastery, monastics have never fit in with the status quo. They have never fit in with the surrounding or presiding culture. They have always been called to live their lives against the grain. Moreover, their sensitive nature made it near impossible for them to live among the chaos of the everyday world. As such, they sought or created their abodes elsewhere. Even if the monastery was in the midst of a bustling city, their homes were sequestered with ample time and space for prayer, quietude, silence, and a gentle way of living. Unless cloistered, direct service to others arose out of the service they were doing first to “God,” and secondly to themselves.

In our modern and increasingly pluralistic world where many monastics are no longer called to live out their calling within the confines of a religious institution, the expression of that calling requires ingenuity. How do we carve out a place for our calling in a world that expects us to be everything but what our soul wants? The answer is both simple and complicated. We first have to acknowledge the calling. Then, we must free ourselves from every single shred of societal, cultural, and familial conditioning that would hinder us from living out that calling. We have to learn to say yes to our soul’s longings and NO to what culture expects of us – including our culture’s expectations around work and provision. Yes, we still have to “chop wood and carry water,” but maybe a 40-hour, 9-5 work week doesn’t work for us. Perhaps we don’t have to make a six-figure salary. Maybe we can find creative ways to provide for ourselves while creating ample space in which our soul might thrive. Who knows, we just might find peace living below the mean. Finally, we have to exorcise ourselves from our attachment to other people’s approval and get comfortable with the questioning looks, raised eyebrows, and blank stares from those who just cannot comprehend our decision to live against the grain. Believe me, your soul will thank you!

Online Course Closure Announcement

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Online Class Portal Closing Notice

I am writing to inform you that unless something dramatic changes, I will be closing my online course offerings effective December 31, 2024.

This is a decision that I am not making lightly. I have arrived at this decision only after many months of careful discernment and various attempts to keep these programs running. The reality is that the online courses are no longer providing a sustainable income and have been operating at a loss for the past couple years. It is simply time to let them go. 

With this notice, effective immediately I will no longer be accepting students into my Magdalene Formation Program as the programs duration outlasts the platform closure deadline. I will be working directly with those remaining in the program to help them complete the training in the time remaining, and for those needing more time, to work with them in disseminating the training by other means. 

As of now, I will continue to offer the membership community online gatherings in addition to my spiritual direction and Reiki services. 

Thank you for your many years of support and participation in the gifts I have shared with the world.  I am looking forward to what the Universe next has in store for me. 

With love,

Lauri Ann Lumby

lauri@lauriannlumby.com

Choose Your Price

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Dear Readers:

You are the first to be informed about a (kinda) new pricing strategy I am embracing as we continue to move through the de-evolution of the systems built on fear, power, and control, and prepare ourselves (if not outside of us, at least within us) for the AGE OF LOVE. 

Trust me, I cling to no illusions about the world “out there” changing, but we can continue to hope as we continue our own efforts of being more and more the true embodiment of love, peace, and compassion in our world. 

As the systems around us continue to collapse, I am increasingly aware of the fragile nature of our financial systems. Whether we call it end-stage capitalism, corporate greed, or inflation, too many people are struggling financially – many just to keep a roof over their head (and far too many are homeless).  It has always been my goal to make my offerings affordable, and for years have offered my courses and services at a discounted rate for many and even free for those who truly cannot afford them. 

I’m also deeply aware of the needs of Generations Y, Z and Alpha.  Unless they are one of the rare few who enjoy the benefits of generational wealth, they are screwed. Most will never own a home. Many are struggling under crippling student loan debt. Few are able to secure a salary commensurate with their education and experience. 

Then there’s the elder Gen X’s (like myself).  God bless them if they are looking for a job due to lay off, hardship, or having taken a break to have children or care for aging parents. Just – GOD BLESS THEM.  Contrary to what the media wants us to believe:  THE JOB MARKET SUCKS.  LINKED IN IS TRASH. Nobody is interested in hiring an over-qualified, highly experienced and educated person over 45.  

With all this in mind,  I’m trying to make it easier for people to pay what they are able without having to take the terrifying step of ASKING ME FOR HELP!  (I’m really not that scary, and I’m almost always willing to help, but it’s hard to ask for financial support from anyone – I know. I’ve been there!). 

I have done two things to make this easier: 
1) I have added “Choose Your Price” options to many of my online courses and training programs – focusing my attention on my core courses and those that have historically required a significant investment due to the sheer volume of content. 
2) I have plastered “Pay What You’re Able” all over my website. 

You will also notice:
1) Many of my online course descriptions NOW INCLUDE a FREE sample lesson from that course.  My hope is that this makes it easier for people to decide if the course is for them (or if I am for them as a teacher). 
2) My new “Choose Your Price” logo.  If you feel so inclined, it would be really helpful to me if you can share this image on your social media pages!  Let’s work together to let people know that great content is available for them at a price they can afford. 

Finally:  a little secret that some of you know. With my office manager position with the ballet studio, my own work (classes and seeing clients) is not longer my primary form of income.  This takes A LOT of the pressure off my shoulders to “make money,” thus freeing me to be even more flexible with pricing and more trusting that all my needs will be met as I help to support other people’s needs. 

If it’s been awhile since you’ve looked at my courses, please do so!  Click HERE to see all my course listings. Click on the image of the course that speaks to you and that will take you to the sales page which includes full course description, outline, pricing, and for many, a FREE sample lesson. 

Thank you for your ongoing support of this work and for continuing to be your own unique force of LOVE on this planet!

With love,
Lauri Ann Lumby
http://www.lauriannlumby.com

A**HOLE

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Contrary to what some (perhaps many) might say, I’m NOT an asshole. Contrary to what I jokingly say about myself, I’m NOT an asshole. I only jokingly say that I’m an asshole as a way to protect myself from those who honestly believe I am (an asshole).

People say I’m an asshole when they don’t like certain things about me. When my actions or words make them uncomfortable or hold them accountable to their own behaviors. Here’s a list of what some (many?) don’t like about me:

  1. I know who I am. I know my gifts, and my challenges and I’m confident standing in either.
  2. I have a clearly defined sense of right and wrong. I uphold these values within myself and hold others to these same values. (A dear friend once said that I have more integrity than anyone he has ever known.)
  3. I am growing more comfortable in the fullness of my emotions. I can feel sorrow, anxiety, depression, despair, joy, excitement, and anger and am somewhat comfortable expressing these.
  4. I’m VERY passionate about certain things and I’m not afraid to express this passion.
  5. I have a deep desire for justice in our world and will freely speak out against injustices.
  6. I feel anger DEEPLY (or I might be confusing passion for anger). When I witness an injustice, when my needs are not being met, when someone deeply hurts me, I feel anger. I’m not very good at expressing anger (because “you’re a bad person if you are angry), so it usually gets turned inward into seething resentment. Then I become SILENT and withdrawn until I’ve had time to process that anger.
  7. I have exceptional boundaries. As an introverted empath who is highly sensitive to the energy of others, my boundaries have become even more iron clad.
  8. I hear and can see people’s thoughts. I can read their personal energy. I KNOW when someone is lying to me, trying to keep secrets, or trying to manipulate me. I want to ask of certain people I know who repeatedly try to hide things from me, “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE FOOLING?”
  9. I’m not afraid to cut people off who have been intentionally cruel to me, betrayed me, lied to me or tried to cheat me. This is equally true of those who purposefully and thoughtfully infringe on my boundaries. I would rather spend the rest of my life alone than put up with other people’s morally questionable or needy behaviors.
  10. I don’t do needy. I will slam the door at the first sign of dependency’s tentacles. Bye!
  11. Perhaps related, I am independent, self-sufficient, and for most of my life, I have been the source of my own need-fulfillment. I fill my own cup. It’s not my job to fill yours. I might be able to support you in learning to fill your own cup, but I won’t fill it for you.
  12. I do not and will not enable others. My mission is to empower, not to feed our dying system of co-dependency.

For this and (perhaps many) other reasons, there are some in the world who think I’m an asshole. I’ve even said the same of myself, but I know that’s not really true.  If it is, it’s only because we live in culture that is profoundly arrested in its development that has no idea what to do with self-actualized humans except to condemn them. I’ve been condemned and I’ve survived this too. (another reason for people to hate me. 😊