As we move through this powerfully transformative time, under this new moon with seven celestial bodies stacked up in Aries, we are invited to examine our SELF – WHO we truly are. This is not about titles (ie: witch, priestess, mother, healer, poet, writer, counselor) it is about our truest nature – who we are at our core, something that has been part of us our entire lives, something we cannot help but be. This is not about what we do, but who we are BEING because our true nature is not a noun, it is a verb. As you reflect on this, for yourself, I share with you how I arrived at the answer for myself:

For my entire life I have been able to see. Specifically, I am able to see the truth beyond appearances – the truth beyond the veil – the truth behind the masks people present to the world. I’ve been able to see the severe mental illness that drove the abusive actions of two grade school teachers. I saw the lie behind “terminal diagnosis” of a family “friend.” I’ve seen the truth behind lies that have been told to my face. Less dramatic than this, I see the unhealed wounds, insecurities, and pain behind the façade many present to the world.

For me, it’s easy to see the sorrow, anger, pain, deception, betrayal, etc. behind which all humans hide, but equally so, I see the potential waiting to be liberated from behind these unhealed wounds. For those who have the willingness and courage, I have been a resource for healing and moving beyond these wounds. For those with nothing to hide, being seen provides a gift of affirmation along with an expression of love.

I am grateful for this gift of seeing, but the reality is not everyone wants to be seen. Even fewer want to do the work of healing those areas of imprisonment within them. As such, this ability to see has often felt like more of a curse than a gift. Teachers who made me their enemy through no fault of my own. Classmates who hated me for no apparent reason. Strangers and acquaintances who shy away from my presence because there is something in them that becomes unconsciously aware of being seen – and they do not want to be seen.

People’s inner demons run from me. At times, I can hear them hissing. At other times, their demons come at me filled with projections, accusations, excuses, insults, etc. Recently, I challenged a long-time acquaintance for their prejudice against the working poor (saying if they just applied belief and effort they wouldn’t be poor). They came back at me with aggression and insults. Their demon of unconscious shame, hiding behind white male privilegem was not happy about being seen.

I can’t help that I see. It’s part of who I am. I see the good, and the bad. The holy and the unholy. Most often, I’m not really doing anything with this seeing, I just see. And some become extremely uncomfortable in my presence because they don’t want to be seen. For most of my life, I have taken the other person’s negative reactions personally. It’s my fault they feel uncomfortable. Now I’m a target for their wrath or a projection for their shame. I’ve been rejected, avoided, ignored, condemned, harassed, abused, and punished for simply seeing.

But this week, under this crazy Aries New Moon pile-up, with seven celestial bodies in Aries, a hugely transformational awareness has surfaced.  At the heart of this awareness is the invitation to completely and fully own WHO I AM  – specifically that for which I have been rejected and condemned, which has then caused me to shy away from or hide my gift.

This week, I was provided with a visceral experience that demonstrated to me the impact my seeing has on someone who does not want to be seen, along with the unconscious reaction that arose in them upon being seen. I literally felt the individual attempt to put up an energetic wall between us, and I could hear/feel their (we’ll call it) shame hissing at me. At the same time, I became aware of my own unconscious (at the time) reaction to their “rejection.” I felt my energy turn in on itself, packing itself away in a quiet place to hide. I felt myself attempting to become invisible.

I used this startling experience for deep reflection. What was happening? Why did I react that way? Why did THEY react that way. I don’t yet have the full answer to my quandary about how to use this awareness for my own healing and growth but in this moment it feels a little like this:

I AM Seeing. For those wanting to be truly seen, it is a gift. For those who do not, their conscious or (more commonly) unconscious reaction is not a rejection of me, it is a rejection of themselves. And that demon who is hissing at me as it defends its host, has zero power over me because when I SEE the demon, it no longer has power over me.

What is the BEING you are invited to more fully embrace and no longer hide from the world (or yourself)?

Not Sure Who You Are?

Learn more HERE

The Order of the Magdalene Training provides the resources and tools to answer and live the answers to the following questions:

Who am I?

Whose am I?

What are my gifts and how am I being invited to share those gifts for the sake of my own fulfillment and in service to the betterment of the world.