Charlatans and Chicanery

“In what kind of hellscape are we living? A dear friend asked me this question in response to all the insane things we are watching unfold in our world. As she asked this question, I was immediately reminded of the ridiculous spectacle of the Blue Origin “Space Flight” that took place on Monday this week (4/14/25). To quote Moira Donegan from The Guardian:

“There are some spectacles of US decadence and decline that almost seem too on the nose – the sort of orgies of vulgar provocation or fantastic lack of self-awareness that exceed the limits of parody, so that if they were in a novel, you’d think the writer was laying it on a little thick.” 

This was that!

As a stand-alone spectacle, the Blue Origin flight is just another in a long line of ridiculous ventures put on by and for the extremely wealthy – this time in an effort to display “female empowerment.” PLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEE.  If we wanted to demonstrate female empowerment, we would laud the efforts of every single woman who has ever been part of the space program, including and not limited to actual female astronauts! I don’t know about you but neither Katy Perry nor Gayle King in a designer unitard inspires feminine pride in me. Instead, it simply fuels my disgust for women who have and continue to be complicit in a patriarchal system that seeks only to keep them beautiful, but silent and useless, like a trophy. GROSS. Additionally, it fuels my disgust with complicit men who further this kind of false celebration of women which in reality is a kind of degradation. Disgusting!

Trophies aside, the Blue Origin flight does serve as the perfect example and metaphor for an issue that has been plaguing me for years.  This is the issue of charlatans and chicanery. 

Let’s start with a couple definitions:

Charlatan: a person falsely claiming to have a special knowledge or skill; a fraud.

Chicanery: cleverdishonest talk or behavior that is used to deceive people:

Charlatans and tricksters have been with us always. Lately, however, it seems they are coming out of the woodwork. From self-appointed gurus, to “reality” stars, to so-called healers, to “miracle” cures and their salespeople, to Oprah-appointed “experts,” and all the way to the White House (cue Hail to the Chief). Just this week, the so-called U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services spouted a barrage of dangerous misinformation regarding autism. As an attorney, he has none of the training or knowledge to speak on this topic in any sort of legitimate way – and yet, here he is – acting like an expert and proclaiming himself as being the one who is going to save the world from autism. For the record: autism is NOT a disease and it is NOT something from which we need saving!

I don’t know what it is about American culture that makes us so vulnerable to charlatans and their chicanery. Are we unintelligent? Do we have no discernment? Are we so dissatisfied with our lives that we’ll accept anything that makes us feel (temporarily) better– no matter how untrue or dangerous it might be? It’s a conundrum.

As self-righteous as I want to be around the topic of charlatans, I have not been immune. I too have fallen into the trap of giving away my power to outside perceived authorities, so-called healers, and psychics (for example) because I felt vulnerable or was looking for answers to desperate questions. I have also fallen into their trap because I was lured by their appearance of success. If the object is shiny and pretty, it must be good….right?

As the adage goes, “appearances can be deceiving.”  This is especially true of charlatans. They know how to make themselves look good.  They know what words to use to make them appear an expert. They know exactly how to cloak reality (lack of credentials, education, etc.) and twist the truth to make themselves appear better than they are.  I know of several, for example, who present themselves as healers, even calling themselves “doctor” while having ZERO medical training. It’s like the woman I confronted a few years back who was calling herself a “Spiritual Director.”  Having completed the three-year training program required to practice as a “Spiritual Director,” I was confused as I was certain she had not completed any training of this nature. When I inquired about where she did her training she replied, “the angels taught me.” Um……NO!  To quote Monty Python:

“Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.”

Farcical ceremonies notwithstanding, charlatans exist in our world, and they are here not to help, but to harm. Even those, like the Blue Origin passengers, who might believe their motivations are good, are ultimately doing harm by believing their own lie in playing a role for which they have not been adequately trained.  One is not an astronaut simply because they flew in a rocket. Neither is one a “doctor” simply because they call themselves one. “Gurus” are not self-appointed, and enlightenment doesn’t cost a dime!

Do your due diligence. When looking for a teacher, a guide, a healer, or someone to lead a nation, seek out those with true learning, proper certification, and the education and experience to back up their claims. A shiny (or loud) object does not an expert make!


To be clear: I have a masters degree in transpersonal psychology but am not a licensed therapist. I completed a 7 year training program in theology, adult education and spiritual direction. As an ordained minister I am legally allowed to call myself a “spiritual counselor” but this is not the same as a licensed therapist. I provide counsel, support, and guidance for people through many stages of life including loss, death, divorce, empty nest, diagnoses, midlife etc. Many who seek my support are looking for support in finding peace in a troubled world and finding meaning and purpose in their lives.


Beware the Toxic Feminine

I might suggest that women have more to fear from other women then they do from men. Specifically, the threat about which I am referring is that which arises out of the toxic and/or patriarchally complicit woman.

The toxic patriarchal man is indeed a threat, but we know what we’re getting. The toxic masculine is easy to spot. They wear their violence like a badge of honor. Flexing their muscles. Waving their automatic weapons around. Proud of their objectification of women. Maintaining the adage, “spare the rod and spoil the child,” they treat everyone as inferior to them and worthy of their abuse.

The toxic feminine, in contrast, is sneaky and insidious. Talking sweet to your face. Hiding their true intentions. Making promises they never plan to keep. Fawning over and manipulating those who serve their cause. Feigning friendship and pretending trust when all they really want is to get you into their trap. Pretending confidence and strength when in truth they are jealous and insecure. These are the women who can’t stand to see other women succeed and who see all other women as competition.  These women pretend to be a source of support while undermining other women behind their back.

The toxic feminine is that which benefits from toxic masculinity and patriarchal culture. They thrive on what they “get” from being a woman of privilege and are happy to sell their souls for patriarchal attention. If another woman gets in their way, they will do everything in their power to destroy them. Politically, the toxic feminine are those who enthusiastically endorse the patriarchal, hierarchical, predominantly white status quo and who will viscously attack anything that challenges their position of perceived power. These are the women who willfully voted against the Equal Rights Amendment and who vote “Pro-Life” while eager to deny food, clothing, medical care, and shelter to those forced to give birth.

While the latter presents the extreme version of the toxic feminine, they are all a danger to the evolution of our society, and to women specifically. Beware of the Toxic Feminine


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I’ve Grown Weary of Men Who Only Watch

I love men. I love men a lot!  Some of my favorite humans (most especially my son) are of the male species. I love them so much sometimes that it hurts. The hurt, however, is not for lack of love. Instead, it is the deep hurt I feel when I see some (perhaps many) men failing to participate in a world that deeply needs their strength, courage, and most especially their voice.

First I want to say THANK YOU to the men I know and see who stand up in the face of injustice, who risk criticism and condemnation for speaking/living/expressing their truth, who defend the rights of women and children, and who risk certain loss for defending the rights of the disenfranchised. I want to thank those who have risked life, limb, status, and their own welfare for doing what is right, even when they know it might certainly mean having to turn in “the man card.” Thank you Thank you Thank you too all these good men who are working hard to support the betterment of our world.

WE NEED MANY, MANY MORE LIKE YOU!

Which brings me to the difficult words. While these good men are doing good things in the world, there are far too few of them. If we ever hope for the patriarchal/hierarchical/fear/power/oppression/control machine to turn around, we desperately need the men to stand up, speak out, and take action. White men especially, for the simple reason that the only way to turn this thing around is for those for whom it was built and for those who most benefit to stand up and say,

“THIS IS WRONG!  THIS ISN’T WORKING. TOO MANY ARE SUFFERING FOR THE SAKE OF THE FEW.” 

Then they need to do something about it.

I’ve grown weary of men who only watch as women, children, and the disenfranchised and discriminated against weep, and cry, and wail for the suffering brought forth in our world by a few powerful men.  I’ve grown tired of giving my voice to a cause only to watch my words fall on deaf ears. I’m exhausted from caring about the world and those who are suffering in it because of the actions of greedy, gluttonous, prideful men and their complicit women, and wondering, while I’m caring, if anyone else cares. Do people even see all that has gone wrong in our world or has blindness become a defense mechanism as the whole world is turning to shit?  It is too painful to watch and too overwhelming to even begin to do something about it?

Those of us who have been the eyes, the voice, the heart for our dying world are exhausted. This is why we need MEN to stand up and do something more than just watch!

Sidenote: I know my words won’t make a difference. I just needed to speak it and say it so those who share these feelings know they aren’t alone. Thank you sisters and all the good men who are seeing, speaking, and acting on behalf of the healing and transformation of our dying world.  


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Taking Action Starts with Self-Knowledge!

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