This morning, I awoke with the following words rolling over and over in my mind:

“The Lord GOD has given me a well-trained tongue, that I might know how to speak to the weary a word that will rouse them.” (Isaiah 50:4-5)

I’m not sure if God is giving me an order or words to rouse myself.

Oh my God we are weary!  I’m weary. I think we’re all weary.

The weight of the world, especially the world of late, is just too much. Human beings were not made to live this way or under this much distress.

Just when I want to throw America a pity-party, I am reminded of the literal carnage the innocent people of Gaza have been living under, and the abject terror felt by those in Ukraine. Further are the ongoing conflicts in Sudan and the DRC, and every other location on this planet that is experiencing civil war and unrest.

From this perspective, I guess we (Americans) should be grateful. Things could be a whole lot worse.

But still, it sucks. Where once there was an illusion of hope, all it seems that we have now is sorrow and despair as we watch our rights being threatened and the rights of others literally torn from their grasp.

What words could I possibly offer to rouse the weary?

Is it enough to simply acknowledge the soul-crushing exhaustion many are currently feeling? Is it enough to recognize the heartbreak that arises when we see once-free people deprived of their liberties? Is it enough to call out the terror that makes itself known as we bear witness to the implosion of the American empire through the ongoing bombardment of chaotic and illogical “executive orders?” Is it enough to point out the abject failure of the courts to hold a certain administration accountable to actions that directly defy the constitution?

I’m so tired. Soooooo tired. How can I rouse the weary when I’m beyond weary myself? I’m just so sad – sad for those directly in the line of fire, and sad for the death of what was once called “The American Dream.”

This too shall pass? Other nations have experienced and survived their own periods of authoritarianism and tyranny? We too will survive?

But will we?

One thing I know for certain is that we will not be the same. No matter where this experiment in oligarchy goes or how it ends, The United States as a nation will not be the same. At least it better not be. People have already tried to surface candidates for the 2028 election. HELL NO!  While one person seems to be singularly responsible for the carnage we are all now seeing, he is simply a product of the system that put him in office. A system that has been corrupted by money, financial influence, and divisive propaganda. Until the system itself is changed, we will only see more of the same. Billionaires buying votes and decisions made on behalf of those who pad the pockets of our legislators.

While what we are witnessing right now sucks, perhaps it is necessary. How else would we see the depth of brokenness and the extent to which our nation is ruled, not by our elected representatives, but by big money?

As my mom says, “the kitchen has to get dirtier before it can be made clean.”  Perhaps this is what we are seeing – the appliances are finally being pulled away from the wall so that what has been hiding behind and underneath can finally be seen and cleaned away.

God I hope so! 

This brings to mind the experience that broke my last straw. I was working as the dining room manager at a resort in Glacier Park. Our final task, after the resort was closed for the winter, was to deep clean the kitchen. If you’ve ever had to deep clean an industrial kitchen, you know of what I speak. We started at 6am and didn’t end until 6pm (or later). We had to clean, scrub, scour, and polish every nook and cranny of every oven, stove, shelf, food surface, shelves, etc. etc. I was on day 3 or 4 of cleaning and had just cleaned the floor with a literal toothbrush.  I was covered from head to toe in kitchen grease and industrial cleaning products. I looked and smelled like I had just walked through the brimstones of hell. I was tired. I was exhausted. My whole body hurt. The kitchen manager came over to inspect my job and told me I had to do it over.

I cracked. The final straw of my patience shattered. I stood up, looked him in the eye and pointed at the nearest carving knife. “You see that knife? If you say one more fucking word to me, I will stab you in the face.” (Can you hear me actually saying this?????  I shocked myself!)  I was shaking and trembling. His reply, “Lauri, why don’t you go take a break?”  I went out on the back step and bawled my eyes out. 

Now here’s the irony of this tale. For the entire summer, the kitchen manager had it out for me. He was on my ass all summer and rode me ragged. I was certain he hated me – and his actions made me hate him. When I returned to the resort for our winter job at Big Mountain in Whitefish, Montana, he couldn’t wait to be my best friend. WHAT!? Apparently, it took me standing up to him to gain his respect – or he was now so terrified he thought he’d best be nice to me or he might actually get a carving knife in the eye.  (hee hee hee)

Maybe these are my words to rouse the weary.  This is where we are – in the midst of the grossest and most disgusting industrial kitchen deep-clean we have ever seen. For the sake of the future of the nation, we have to do this cleaning – no matter how gross and disgusting it might become – all while being supervised by a bully. Eventually, however, the bully’s actions will hit our last straw, and we will finally gather the energy we need to stand up against the bully and all those who put him in power.

Here’s a recent example of exactly this: Harvard University JUST SAID NO to recent threats of the T-administration and sued him in return. (exactly what I’ve been saying universities and other recently threatened institutions need to do!) Go Harvard! Maybe there is some hope after all.

---