You, Me, and the Apocalypse

caring for ourselves during societal collapse

I don’t know how many times I have to write about this for me to get it, but here we are again. (a nod of gratitude to the Netflix series of the same name for the title of today’s musing)

We are living through the collapse of the empire – the world as we have known it – and unless we are somehow benefitting from said-collapse, we are negatively feeling it.  The impact of this collapse has a universal component – some suffering more than others from the almost nuclear fallout of an unsustainable system imploding upon itself. The recent battle over SNAP benefits and healthcare subsidies are two such examples.

As an empath, I am feeling the effects of this collapse mostly physically. My whole body hurts. I’ve had a headache and vertigo for a week. I’m exhausted. My anxiety feels palpable. It feels as if my entire system is collapsing under the weight of what I have no choice but to see, hear, and feel. This seeing, hearing, and feeling, are coming out in symptoms that might even be concerning. Is the collapsing world actually killing me?  On some days it feels like it might.

I could repeat what I have already written ad nauseum about the inevitability of this collapse. Suffice it to say, humanity brought this upon itself in creating systems built on fear, power, and control. Systems built on anything other than unity and love cannot endure. Henceforth, here we are.

Being that we have no control over this collapse and there is nothing we can do to save humanity from themselves, what are we to do? The short answer is this: CARE FOR OURSELVES. As is always true, the only person over whom we have any measure of control (even this is debatable), is ourselves.

For empaths, and others feeling the weight of societal collapse, caring for ourselves means turning the tables on the societal rules that have kept us imprisoned by achievement, duty and obedience to the system. No longer can we (or should we) attempt to continue at the pace expected of us by western society. “Drive, strive, achieve,” in and of themselves are unsustainable. For the sake of our own well-being, many of us will have to unplug from this paradigm, creating space for ourselves where we are of value, simply for who we are, not what we do. This is a difficult task as we have been conditioned by lifetimes of reproach and shame to live by society’s rules.

Caring for ourselves begins by saying no. Saying no to anything and everything that is not life-giving. Saying no to the expectations of others. Saying no to the enculturated shoulds. Saying no to manipulation, fear, power, and control.

Saying no starts with identification. How has the system attempted to manipulate you? (advertising is one obvious example, as is the entire system of politics). Where have you been told you were less-than because of something that is inherently you (skin color, gender, sexual orientation, neurodiversity, economic status, ability to work, etc.)? Where have you been taught to feel shame for your needs, emotions, way of moving through the world.

After learning to say no, the next step in caring for ourselves is learning how to say yes. Saying yes to all those things that we need to feel supported. Say yes to naps. Say yes to acts of coziness. Say yes to that which feeds you emotionally, mentally, and physically. Say yes to what feeds your soul, gives you joy, and makes you feel content.

Life is not about meaning. Neither are we here to find fulfilment. We are here to find peace in the midst of the human experiment even/especially when the experiment seems to be failing. Caring for ourselves means finding equanimity in the violent throes of societal collapse while being open to the rapturous visions of something new trying to take its place.

How are you surviving this apocalyptic time?


Support for these times:

Letters from Hell #2 – Rest

This morning, my thoughts have turned to rest. Specifically, rest, that it seems I am needing a great deal more of. I never needed rest before – or at least I acted like I didn’t need it. I would work from before dawn to after dusk Monday through Sunday. Weekends were taken up with chores – cooking, cleaning, yardwork, being a mom, etc. etc. etc. There was no time for rest – rather, I rarely took the time.

Living in hell is exhausting. Between “hearing (and feeling) the cries of the world,” the increasing division and violence, and the constant bombardment of traumatic events and chaotic actions, I have very little left to give – to anything – other than survival.

It’s no wonder when the weekend comes all I really feel like doing is sitting at home, reading, napping, and watching TV. I have zero bandwidth (or money) for much else. I don’t want to go anywhere or be by anyone. And please don’t ask me to go somewhere where there will be crowds. I get enough of the energy of people during the week, and I really cannot tolerate any more.

I suspect I’m not alone in this – at least among those who are paying attention. As a healer and an empath, I feel it all  – every person’s emotions, feelings, anxieties, frustration, anger, and fear. I can’t help it. My body is like some kind of processor for all the darkness that is erupting in our world. It comes into me and moves through me. It seems I have no choice in the matter. It’s part of what I’m here to do and be. And trust me, it is not out of pride that I share this – because I would not wish this “job” on anyone.

First, my home is my sanctuary. I have created it into a place of refuge and safety. It is my hermitage, my monastery, my cloister. With three-foot-thick concrete walls, it is a fortress in which I feel safe. I am here mostly alone or in the company of loved ones or special clients. To the world, my home is invisible. To be found, you must have been given an invitation.

Second, when I’m not at the job that provides the income I need for basic survival, I’m at home. Except for visits to the yoga studio, running basic errands, visiting my favorite coffee shop, I’m home. At home, I am deeply immersed in my practice – meditation, prayer, reflecting, writing, reading, and praying some more. Increasingly, in prayer is how I spend my time. I need it. The world needs it.

Third, I’ve learned to embrace rest. When I’m tired, I nap. When it’s not a “work day,” I rest. In this also, I find I no longer have a choice. I need it after all the energy it takes to live in this hellscape, to be forced to be out in the world, and to be one of the many witnessing and supporting humanity as it decides its own fate – an eternity in hell, the end of the human race, or if they will finally agree to embrace the opportunity they’ve always been given – which is to be Love.

Letters from Hell #1

Beloved Friends,

I saw a meme yesterday that read:

These are the first words that have made any sense of the world in which we are currently living, because beyond all that we see on the surface of things, it sure feels like hell.

For me, my heart is broken over all of it – but mostly over the violent division that seems to currently define our nation, if not the world. It seems everywhere I look the finger of blame is being pointed in the opposite direction from where it should be pointed – away instead of toward, because…..

When humanity makes gods of men, looking outside of ourselves for guidance, authority, leadership and direction, this is what we get. A bunch of unqualified, overly loud individuals getting rich off our willingness to give them our power.

In this current version of hell, censorship is king. If the “Emperor” doesn’t like what you say about him, then through money and power, you are silenced. Or, if the Emperor is in need of a martyr, one will be created.

All of this to feed the beast of division. Those in power believing that in dividing the nation, they will gain more power. Strangely, it seems their tactics are working as the powerful few gain increasing wealth as the world falls around their feet. What will be left when they are done? A world of ash where beauty once stood? No wonder they’re looking for a way to settle on Mars.

Many of us have known this was coming, but nothing could have prepared us for how truly awful it really is. The long, slow, excruciatingly painful death of the world built on fear, power, and control. Daily, I plead with the universe, DIE ALREADY!

I’m exhausted for the end of things, hoping that when this is all over (will it ever be over?) humanity will find a way to live in peace. But for the love of God, how long is this going to take?

Physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.  I’m not sure how much more any of us can take. We seem to be suffering from a collective sort of PTSD and recent events have only made it worse (thank you Justine Joslyn for this reminder!). 

I know my PTSD is triggered. I feel vulnerable, raw, and highly emotional. My head hurts. I feel the physical effects of cortisol raging through my body producing flu-like symptoms. My heart hurts. I am finding it hard to breathe. I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything. Yesterday, it was all I could do to sit on my couch and pray.

And when I’m at work, I feel broken and flawed. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong and that everything I’m doing is a mistake. I feel unqualified for a job for which I am, in truth, overqualified. I feel ashamed in my imperfection.

This is not me. At least, this isn’t normal me. This is me under panic and in a heightened state of activation. I am finding it hard to focus. I am doomscrolling for something – anything to make me feel safe.  I know better than this – but I can’t help myself.

I feel desperate – desperate for a moment to breathe, a moment to feel safe, a moment of peace in which the world isn’t suddenly exploding with some new tragic or devastating news. I hate it here.

But just when I’m ready to completely give up on humanity, wishing and hoping for this all to be over, I am reminded by the wisdom of youth, in this case my daughter. Yesterday I texted her, “The world just needs to end already.” This was her heart-wrenching, wise response:

UGH!  Knife to the heart! A knife to my heart that broke me wide open. In her wise words, my daughter spoke what we all want:

We want the world to be better. We want it to be better for ourselves, but even more so, for our children and our children’s children. For these, we must hang on to hope – cling to it even. With these words, I will leave you with this:

With the deepest love,

Lauri

Calling All Warriors

As the RNC pulls out of Milwaukee, and the DNC moves toward penetrating Chicago, (puns intended), we find ourselves at a dangerous crossroads – all roads leading toward disaster.  At this crossroads we have an opportunity to make a deal with the devil, or find ourselves another way through this mess.

Indeed, we are staring the death of the republic in the face. Horrible to look at and yet we cannot look away!  This is an ending we have sadly brought upon ourselves.

As with the fall of Rome, we are facing an inevitable death – and die it will.  But unlike the Romans, we are being given a choice in the empire’s end.  We can allow ourselves to be destroyed by it – or rise above (or as I prefer – to burrow beneath).

Whether you are a “rise above” or a “burrow beneath” person, the formula is the same:

As a shadow worker, my job is to go to ground – to enter fully into the darkness that it may be transformed – darkness made of humanity’s fears and unhealed wounds.  Like a cicada, I dive deep into the detritus of humanity’s pain, wriggling and writhing until the pain has been released.  This I do safely in the shelter of my sanctuary that I call home.

Equally called to be a light bringer, I go about my day to day endeavors simply being me.  I have experienced that in my presence, either shadows are revealed, or others become more aware of their light.  Whatever the effects – the recoiling rejection brought forth by shadow’s emergence, or the welcome of light’s/love’s reflection – I’ve learned to hold it all.

If any of this rambling speaks to you – you are one of the warriors to whom I’ve addressed this message. We’ve been given a difficult call – to witness to the end of the world (as we’ve known it), BUT we’ve also been given the wisdom, knowledge, and tools to endure.  Our task is this:

Love-speed sisters and brothers, we are in this together.  Even if solitary – we are never alone!

It is all we came here to do.

With deep gratitude and love,

Lauri


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Featured Course: Victory of the Holy Bride

What is your current understanding of the Book of Revelation?

Doomsday Prophecy?

Historical Reflection?

Heavenly Vision?

Big Fat Mystery?

To learn more and enroll click on the image above.

Come and explore this mysterious and often confusing book of the Bible from a different perspective while reclaiming the role of the Divine Feminine as the true heroine of this epic mythological tale. 

Victory of the Holy Bride shatters over 2000 years of patriarchal dogma that cast the Book of Revelation in the role of doomsday prophecy and presents to you the tools for discovering a profoundly simple truth that is the key to inner peace and the formula through which we endure the “times of tribulation” while building a whole new world – one rooted in peace, understanding, wisdom, harmony and love. 

Discover the secret of the Book of Revelation and learn how to apply that secret in your everyday life so that you might know peace.

In knowing that peace, you will have the freedom to begin creating a whole new world for yourself.

Course Outline:

Lesson One: Introduction to the Book of Revelation

Lesson Two: The Structure of Revelation

Lesson Three: Alpha and Omega

Lesson Four: The Mystical Seven and its place in Revelation

Lesson Five: The Time of Tribulation

Lesson Six: The Dragon and the Woman

Lesson Seven: The Fall of Babylon/The New Jerusalem

From the course introduction by Lauri Ann Lumby:

Victory of the Holy Bride shatters over 2000 years of patriarchal dogma that cast the Book of Revelation in the role of doomsday prophecy and presents to you the tools for discovering a profoundly simple truth that is the key to inner peace and the formula through which we can build a whole new world – one rooted in peace, understanding, wisdom, harmony and love.

The inspiration for this course came long before its birth in a tiny whispering voice that said, “There is something in the Book of Revelation…..there is something in the Book of Revelation.” This something was somehow connected with the 7 chakras and the trademarked protocol that I created (was given) that I call Authentic Freedom. For years this whispering continued all the way through the development of Authentic Freedom, Deepening Freedom, Living in Freedom and the other examples of the “secret of seven” that is hidden in the depths of the Judeo-Christian tradition and as it is communicated through scripture.

I approached the Book of Revelation many times before it yielded its secrets to me, but once they were revealed my mind was blown! Not because what I was shown was complicated or profound, but because it was so dang simple! Then I wondered, how is it that in 2000 years no one had uncovered the simple truth revealed in the Book of Revelation? Maybe someone had, but nowhere in my Catholic-Christian upbringing (including almost 12 years in Catholic school) or in seven years of ministry training had this simple truth been explained. Instead, the Book of Revelation was either spoken of as doomsday prophecy or ignored all together. It was as if the Church had no use for the Book of Revelation unless as a tool for manipulating others through fear and if there might be something more to it, they would rather not know (or would rather we didn’t know).

But here’s the secret: there is absolutely nothing to fear about the Book of Revelation! Instead, it is a message of profound hope – the simple truth of the human condition, along with the even simpler formula for enjoying the peace and freedom brought forth by this truth.

It really is that simple. But first, we must comb through the layers of symbolic language and metaphor used by its author (attributed to St. John the Divine) to veil this simple truth from those who are not yet ready, and perhaps to protect those who would know this truth from those whose power might be threatened.

For those in patriarchal power, there is much to fear in the simple truth of the Book of Revelation for when we understand and do the work of embodying the truth revealed in this book, we are no longer subject to the fearful manipulations of the outside perceived patriarchal authority. Instead, we discover our own sovereignty and the Divine power within that guides us on the path to our truth and which frees us to live that truth fully. Here we discover a whole new world of peace, contentment, empowerment and joy dwelling within us and which seeks to be known in the world through us.


Testimonials from past students of this course:

I’ve enjoyed Lauri’s course as much as any I can remember. She is insightful and very well informed, but often with an original take on the material. I enjoy that she both understands Christianity, from her years as a Catholic, and Judaism, but also the priestess path. So her work is a hybrid of understandings, both historical and fresh. Her lecture delivery is clear. She has innovative activities and reflections which she invites us to do.

This course especially feels very timely, as is all Lauri’s work. I also really enjoyed interacting live, but the course is engaging on its own – so much so that I stayed up to the small hours (due to the time difference) to be able to participate.

I also love Lauri’s pricing policy, her generosity, and her values. This is a spiritual leader and teacher (though she’d probably be too modest to call herself as such) who is rooted in soul and heart work first before the ‘I’m worth it’ high charging mentality of other spiritual businesses. This is why I’m doing courses with Lauri. I heartily commend her. ER, United Kingdom