The Narrow Gate

January 11, 2026 / Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

In the past few weeks, several different and unrelated individuals, who know me and are part of my wider community, have sent me YouTube videos on the Magdalene. They discovered these videos through a channel named The Esoteric Jesus. I took the time to watch the videos and must admit, with only a few nuances of language, the videos I viewed very closely reflect what I have come to know and understand about the teachings of the Magdalene. Though the methods may differ, the teachings revealed are nearly identical to what I teach (having learned these teachings through my work with Mary Magdalene and Yeshua). Whereas I found the AI delivery of these videos distracting, I found the content to be mostly sound. Admittedly, I didn’t learn anything new through these videos, but they have provided a solid ground on which I am finding affirmation and validation for my many years of devoted study and practice. Further, they have provided me with a deepening sense of confidence in the work I have done, and a renewed sense of motivation to continue.

The big question though: WHAT EXACTLY DO I DO? This is the question I’ve been trying to answer for 25 years. This morning, the answer came:

I guide people through the narrow gate.

Like my teachers, Yeshua and Mary Magdalene, and using the methods learned through them, I provide instruction, guidance, and support for those in search of themselves. This is what some might call the spiritual journey. Psychology calls it the path toward individuation or self-actualization. Others call it enlightenment, ascension, or self-realization. By whatever name you call it, it is the same journey – the journey from awakening to the Truth beyond appearances. In personal terms, it is the journey from self-centeredness to universal consciousness.

Or to put it simply: it is the journey from fear to love.

Yeshua said that to truly accomplish this journey, one must enter through the narrow gate (MT 7: 13-14). Further, he acknowledged that few are able (or willing) to find it. In my own many years of doing this work, I can confirm that this is true. Many are willing to be captivated and enthralled by the early stages of awakening and spiritual growth, for here, everything feels new and exciting. Our curiosity is sparked and we find many ways to feed that curiosity. We feel special, magical, and maybe a little better than “normal” human beings. This is the easy part of the journey. Easy, however, does not last. If it does, you’re no longer growing, you are well entrenched in spiritual by-pass.

The journey through the narrow gate requires ever-deepening layers of self-examination, personal accountability, identification of ego attachments or wounds, healing and transformation. The closer we get to the heart of who we are, the more challenging the journey becomes. Every minute of every day, we are given an opportunity to see what within us remains wounded and then doing the work of healing that wound. It is only the few and the brave who are willing to enter through the narrow gate. The journey is infinite and eternal, but it is only through the narrow gate that Love (our Truth) can be fully realized.

The Things We Cling To

December 2, 2025 / Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

The journey toward self-actualization, enlightenment, individuation, and personal mastery (all words meaning essentially the same thing) is rough. In our western, capitalistic culture in which personal development has been commoditized, we’ve been told to expect unicorns and rainbows, when instead, we are faced with hellfire and brimstone. Personal mastery is not for the faint of heart. Neither is it for the weak. Instead, it requires persistence, discipline, and the willingness to confront and lay down every attachment and mask that hides us from our true selves.

Our true self is LOVE. Period.

Another way of describing the journey is the transformation of every single thing within us that has forgotten we are love. In doing so, we are simultaneously remembering how to love ourselves for all that we are – warts and all.

Self-actualization is not about perfection. Instead, it is about becoming increasingly aware of our human frailty and loving even that.

In coming to recognize, acknowledge, accept and love our imperfect perfection, we are invited to identify and release all the things we cling to that stand in the way of radical self-love. Much of what we cling to has been beaten into us by our culture. Some have surfaced out of past woundings. Many emerge out of trauma. Others we cling to simply because we are human. Here is my list of the things we cling to that are often the most difficult to release:

The desire to belong.
The need for approval from others.
The longing to be seen.
The yearning to be heard.
The need to be right.
The desire to know.
The need to be in control.
The yearning to be desired.
The habits, patterns, behaviors, status to which we have become familiar.
The illusion of success.
Conditioned beliefs about value and achievement.
Our health.
Life.

The truth of the human experience is that everything is temporary and nothing can be controlled. We are not here to make other people happy. Neither are we here to gain other people’s approval. Belonging is an illusion, and it is only the false self that needs to be seen, heard, or loved. Our value is not dependent on any one else’s definition or rules of measurement.

We have value, and are loved, simply because we are. When we remember the Love that we are, and release these attachments, only then are we free enough to love ourselves for all that we are, and to see that love in others – no matter how broken we or the other might appear.

Releasing the things we cling to most stubbornly brings us into the field of personal mastery. There might not be unicorns or rainbows here, but there is true and enduring freedom.

Tools for Releasing Attachments

Seeking Refuge in Hell

September 25, 2025 / Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Letters from Hell #5

Increasingly, people I know and with whom I am close are retreating from the everyday world. Me included. This retreat is partly an act of self-preservation, but even more so, it is a result of their awakening.

The self-preservation piece is obvious. People no longer want to be part of a world that is built on fear, power, and control. They no longer want to participate in the violent division that currently defines our world. They no longer want to fight or even be witness to the ignorance and hatred that fuels the fires of the hell humanity has created for itself. Instead, they are choosing peace and a sense of safety over ongoing conflict. They are choosing to separate from the noise so they may enjoy quiet. They are retreating into a sanctuary of their own making, based on what they have come to learn about themselves and their truest needs, wants, and desires.

This brings me to the awakening part. A dear spiritual brother recently shared with me a lecture given on the “disappearing” that was once predicted by Carl Jung. In short, Jung theorized that as human beings become individuated (Abraham Maslow called this self-actualization), they would come to realize that the system in which they were conditioned to participate no longer works for them. They see the system for what it is – false, abusive, and harmful and begin to find ways to detach themselves from the system. As they do so, they discover what their soul really wants and needs to feel whole, and they begin to choose that. For many, this choice leads them away from the outside world and into a space that is more quiet, peaceful, content, and gentle. This quiet place becomes their refuge from a world in which they no longer belong (if they ever really did).

This choice for refuge is available to all of us, when we so-choose it. Whether actively individuating, or simply wanting to find peace in a world at war with itself, finding refuge is simple:

STOP engaging with the divisive tactics of the hell in which we are living. Don’t participate in the arguments, the projections, or the blame.
Embrace the position of objective witness. Observe the dying world without reaction. See it. Observe it. Make note of it. But don’t get sucked into it.
WHEN the dying world triggers your fears and unhealed wounds, instead of reacting out of those fears, STOP and engage in the many spiritual tools you have for easing and transmuting those fears.
Start, or double-down on your daily spiritual practice. Make this your number one priority.
Be mindful of how and with whom you want to spend your time. Say NO to those people and activities that drain you or compel you to engage in division.
Make your home a sanctuary. Gather around you the things that give you comfort and make you feel safe.
Cultivate a routine of self-care. Choose at least ONE activity per day that feeds your soul – read, write, take a walk in nature, visit an art gallery, have coffee with a dear friend, watch a movie or documentary that informs or inspires. Cook a wholesome and delicious meal.
Nap. The violence and discord of the dying world makes us tired. Get extra sleep and nap when you need to.
Tell the “should” voice in your head to SHUT T.F. UP. “Should” is one of the strongest weapons of conditioning and is one of the ways we remain tied to the system. Cut the cord. Let it go. DO what you love and let the non-loving conditioning go.

Whether we acknowledge that the world we are living in is a kind of hell, or are simply outgrowing the conditioning that has kept us imprisoned by the system, refuge is necessary in our journey of finding peace and contentment in our lives. That refuge is available to you right now, if you so-choose.