The Price of Truth

……laughing uproariously…….

……don’t say I didn’t warn you…..

……when are people going to start listening to me????? (in my best Tommy Shelby brogue)

……When is the world going to start listening to its prophets?

Thanks.  I had to let that out.

In all seriousness, I am literally laughing my head off at the whole “Epstein files” debacle. When congress BLOCKS the release of classified information related to the Jeffrey Epstein trial, including Epstein’s client list, we know it is Congress that has something to hide, NOT the now deceased Epstein. When the President of the United States insists he didn’t know Jeffrey Epstein, or anything about a list, we all know he “protesteth too much.” 

We know. We absolutely know the truth. Epstein was a predator, child sex trafficker, and ran a private sex island for the rich and famous and the pedophiles among them. He went to jail for it, as did his partner. We know that our president knew him, was friends with him, and went to his private sex parties. We know there is a list. WE ARE NOT STUPID, and yet, some are convinced they can pull the wool over our eyes and pretend there is nothing to see. (pay no attention to the man behind the curtain)

But we do see. After the priest sex abuse scandal, Harvey Weinstein, P. Diddy, R. Kelly, etc. you would think we’d be able to see and know.

I’ll put it bluntly, I liken the evils of Epstein, Maxwell, and all those who went to their little island to those of A. Joseph Maskell, the now former priest who was accused of sexually abusing students, inviting local people of importance to participate in his sex parties, and murdering the Sr. Catherine Cesnik who reported him. I liken the president’s denial and the congressional ruling to the Catholic bishops who denied and then attempted to cover up Maskell’s sins – that and the institutional Church who for centuries denied and covered up the evils that were being done to children by Catholic priests.

This shit is real. And it is often the most powerful among us who are guilty of the most heinous crimes, and yet they have always been the ones to get away with it.

To the revelation of truth, I say BRING IT. To our eyes that are tempted to turn away, I say LOOK CLOSELY.

Look at the evil. See the devil for who and what it really is – men and women living among us in positions of perceived power doing the most awful and terrible things. SEE IT.  LOOK AT IT. REALIZE THE HORROR OF IT.

And then, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

The time of truth seeing is now. And while we want to deny there is evil among us, while we want to think the best of those in perceived positions of authority, while we want to believe our nation is free, the truth is something else entirely.

As Jack Nicholson in the movie A Few Good Men famously said, “You want the truth? You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” 

YES WE CAN.  Or we had better learn.

I admit, it sucks. It is something terrible to learn of the evils rampant in institutions for which we once had respect, hope, and even love. As the priest sex abuse scandal was being revealed, I remember feeling heartbroken and betrayed. I felt hurt and disgusted. Then I began to see the corruption of the institution and how it not only fosters but encourages pedophilia.

The same will be true if, and when, Epstein’s list is ever released. I suspect there will be names on that list that we initially will not be able to believe. Politicians, CEO’s, actors, etc. we may have held in high regard. I also suspect the list is ENORMOUS – the revelation of which will bring the American empire to its knees. (I suspect this is what those who know are really afraid of). Rome will not be burning. It will erupt like an atomic bomb.

Kind of like what happened in the Catholic Church. A mass exodus of formerly devout believers who could no longer support an institution built on the blood of innocent children.

The truth is that there is true evil in our world and the only way to free ourselves from these evils is to see them.  Call them out. Dismantle the institutions that have fostered these evils. Heal the wounds caused by these evils, and then build something new.

While some may argue the cost of revealing the truth, to me, FREEDOM is worth every effort toward seeing and knowing the truth, for freedom is priceless. As Jesus once said, “THE TRUTH will set you free.” This is what he meant.

Exorcisms at Midnight

This is for my fellow lightworkers, healers, shadow workers, love warriors, etc. – all those who are here to be and support the world through love.

Have you ever had a dream so intense that you feel as if it were real and that you were really and truly at the scene of the dream participating in it as you are seeing it? You know, those dreams that are difficult to wake up from, that give you a kind of sleep-paralysis, and leave your heart pounding and your lungs out of breath?  Yeah – that.  I had one of those last night.

The dream was long, drawn out and detailed, but at the center of it, I found myself performing an exorcism – removing an evil spirit or spirits from a 40ish year-old man while his family stood watch and my “team” bore witness and provided protection. In the past, I would have spent hours, days, weeks even, pondering the meaning of the dream. Today – it’s just another night in the life of Lauri Ann Lumby, doing healing and transformation on planes and within dimensions invisible to our own. I can’t explain it, but I can sure feel it. It took every semi-conscious effort to awake from the “dream,” returning to this dimension out of breath and heart pounding as if I had just run a marathon.

Last night’s dream, is just another in a long line of reminders that as much as I want myself and my work to be visible in this world, the truth is that it is in and on other planes that my work is most commonly utilized and perhaps needed. Is it having an impact on this plane? I believe so. But it’s often difficult, given our conditioning, to credit work done in invisible realms when the needs seem so great here.

I was speaking with a friend and soul-sister about this very phenomenon yesterday. We are conditioned to look for material and tangible ways that our gifts are having an impact on the world. We are taught to look for material rewards for the tangible work we are doing. And yet, as is so often the case, the work we are doing seems to be much more about what we are doing internally to support our own transformation, and on other planes to support (in theory) the transformation of our world, among others.

This attention to the invisible, subtle, and intangible seems strange, and yet, isn’t this exactly where the full impact of all the great spiritual teachers has actually been felt? In his lived experience, Jesus was left with only a handful of disciples. Today, millions claim him as their teacher (however right or wrong their interpretation of his teachings might be). The same is true of the Buddha, Mohammad, and Moses. And let’s not forget about the women!  How many people did Mother Mary reach in her lifetime? How many millions today claim devotion to her? The same is true of Mary Magdalene, Joan of Arc, Teresa of Avila, and all the great spiritual teachers who in their material experience had but a handful of students, whereas today, millions seek after and follow their teachings.  More importantly, how many more are living the path of Love as modeled by these great teachers?

Life is not always what it seems and that is especially true for those of us called to spiritual and healing work. As Jesus was quoted as saying, “I am not of this world.” Neither are we. The work we are called to is the work we are called to no matter how it might appear to the naked eye and the impact is far greater than we could ever image despite our capitalistic conditioning that might tempt us to believe otherwise.

So if you find yourself in the middle of a dream performing exorcisms, know it to be true.

Thank you for all you are doing on behalf of Love and for the sake of the transformation of this world and those beyond!

With love,

Lauri

The Big Sorting

I’m day four into recovering from laparoscopic abdominal surgery and I finally have some energy to put some recent observations of the world and my/our place in it in writing.

This is a strange time. To put it into the simplest of terms, humanity is involved in a massive kind of sorting – the likes of which I’m not sure we’ve ever seen. As is always the case with human beings, but even more so now with the reality of global communication, this sorting is happening on both the micro and macro levels. At the heart of this sorting is the question of choice – are we (individually and as a collective) choosing truth or falsehood.

Between our human conditioning, past woundings, and the collective distribution of falsehoods, the choice is not easy. Making the choice even more challenging is the reality that in the dualistic world in which we’ve been living, success and advancement are often achieved through deception; and because human beings find hype and tabloid delivery entertaining and exciting, it is what most commonly sells.

Case in point: Since the age of 12, I have been a devoted student of the Magdalene. I have read every scholarly work out there, and studied the research of every scholar. What we can discern as plausible truth about the Magdalene is actually pretty boring. Based on available research, the Magdalene was most likely an ordinary Jewish woman who found herself drawn to a traveling preacher and who became enraptured by his teachings. Ancient texts confirm that she was likely Jesus’ most devoted student and the one who most wholly absorbed his deepest teachings. She was taught in secret because she grasped things the other disciples did not. She was the one chosen to be witness to (maybe even facilitated) Jesus’ resurrection and deliver the news to the other disciples. After Jesus’ resurrection, it is possible that she traveled to share Jesus’ message and teachings of Love. Where she went is under some debate though there are enough local legends to support the possibility that she went to Egypt, France, and possibly Ephesus and less possibly Britain. That is not to say, however, that her disciples didn’t carry her message to these far-flung places. It was said that Mary was intimate with Jesus – but whether that was sexual, or merely a beloved spiritual partnership, we will never know. We will also never know if Mary and Jesus had a child. I’m not opposed to this idea, but there is really nothing to prove it one way or another. Like I said, boring. There’s really nothing special here, which is partly why I suspect the version of the Magdalene that I stand by doesn’t sell. I don’t use flashy words or popular new age terminology in reference to the Magdalene because there is nothing scholarly or academic to support it. Are any of those versions of the Magdalene possible – sure.  But until science proves otherwise, they are not truth.

Which brings me back to my point about the big sorting. Together we are experiencing a time of great sorting, and together, it is our choices which will determine the future course of humanity. Will we continue to be a species living from agreements and systems rooted in falsehoods and deceptions, or will we together be advocates of truth?

My choice is and has always been truth. And believe me, truth has cost me. My commitment to truth makes it impossible for me to fit into the current system. I literally become physically ill when in the company of deceivers, liars, and systems that lie. Everything in me wants to scream when I discover corruption or deception in an institution with which I am affiliated. Repeatedly, I have had to leave institutions behind because of the lies they refuse to see for themselves, or for which they are actually proud. As a result, I have had to stand alone in a little place I’ve carved out for myself. The good news is that where I was once alone, I now find myself surrounded by an increasingly growing network of others who find themselves equally unable to abide by the deception and corruption of the dying world and who want only to stand on the side of truth and love.

I also find myself increasingly aware of those who continue to choose falsehood. This is the personal part of the sorting. This part is difficult. It’s one thing to stand in our own truth, it’s another to watch someone we care for choose deception and falsehood because it benefits them in some way. It’s not our job to change their choice.  All we can do is be witness to their choice. Grieve the disappointment we might feel and let them be.

Here’s the nitty gritty of things. For me, this big sorting is all about witness consciousness.  As it relates to the world, I watch, I observe, I wait. I make note of the deceptions and the way falsehoods are delivered and I observe who buys into them. Equally, I watch for those who see through the deceptions and corruptions to the deeper truths waiting to be revealed. I refrain from challenging, confronting, or pointing out that “the emperor has no clothes,” trusting that the system itself is in its own kind of sorting. Humanity is sorting itself out. On a personal basis, it is observing what and who in my life are rooted in truth and what may not be and deciding how I want to engage with that, or not. At this writing, the sorting is still taking place with no definitive answers about what is staying or what needs to go. I’m also aware that the time for decisions is not yet ripe so I continue to wait and watch. The truth will show itself when its time is right and no sooner than that.


To me, the Magdalene was the one who most wholly absorbed the depth of Jesus’ teachings on Love. These teachings, are ultimately about discovering our own Truth and then moving through the inner obstacles to living that Truth. Abraham Maslow called the fulfillment of that journey “Self-Actualization.” It is for this reason that my Magdalene formation program is about personal growth and self-discovery.

Will the Real Magdalene Please Stand Up?

In the forty years (or so) that I have been working with Mary Magdalene I have come across at least a million different theories about who she was/is, what her life looked like, where she lived, who she slept with and who her children might be. In the twenty years (or so) that I have been actively studying and researching the Magdalene, I have read at least a hundred books specifically dedicated to her which also bears their own theories of the Magdalene.  Some call her an Ascended Master, others an Essene High Priestess, others a prostitute, others an adulterous woman, others the Sang Grael and the mother of a dynasty of European kings and queens (Jesus’ own progeny), and some claim her as a goddess.  Most of these books are based entirely on theory, oral legend or claim to have been “directly channeled” from the Magdalene herself.

Scholars who study the Magdalene refrain from making such claims and instead stick to what they are able to glean from archeological evidence, scripture itself, and ancient re-discovered manuscripts.  My personal preference is to lean toward a more scholarly approach while avoiding the temptation to either define the Magdalene or condemn another’s theory.  It is for this reason that I call my book Song of the Beloved – the Gospel According to Mary Magdalene fiction.  At the end of the day, unless we were there, we know nothing certain about the Magdalene, and until we have passed from this plane, we will never know.

All that being said, I cannot discount the direct, personal experiences and revelations I have had of the Magdalene (and Jesus) through my meditation and prayer.  These revelations have guided and informed my work – my writing and publishing, but most importantly, these revelations guided and informed the human development courses that I have developed and which now make up the Magdalene Priest/ess Training.  This work is rooted in scripture (canonical as well as non-canonical) and embraces the rich tradition of Christian contemplative meditation and prayer practices as its foundation. This work is further supported by modern theories of human development as they have been expressed through Humanist and Transpersonal Psychology. 

Through the integration of scholarly research and personal revelation, what I have come to understand about the Magdalene and the view I present to the world is that:

  • She was not the adulterous woman of scripture.
  • The “healed of seven demons” said of her is likely referring to a formal process of initiation that supported her journey of self-actualization which she underwent with Jesus’ guidance, successfully completed, and then went on to teach others.
  • She is the only one is scripture said to have completed such a process.
  • She stood beside Jesus (unlike his other disciples who hid in the Upper Room) through his trial, crucifixion, death and burial.
  • She was the one to whom the Resurrected Christ was revealed and THE ONE commissioned to bring the news to the other disciples.
  • She continued to have direct, personal and private visitations by Christ through which he imparted upon her his secret teachings. When she tried to share these teachings with the other disciples they ridiculed and condemned her.

All of these “theories” of the Magdalene are taken directly from scripture and affirmed through scholarship (See resources below).

Beyond this, I personally like to believe that Jesus and Mary were husband and wife and that they were equal, co-ministers in sharing the law of love.  I also like to believe that Mary is the only one to have received the full understanding and knowledge of what Jesus came to teach and that she was chosen by Jesus to continue his work.  Legend tells us that she went forth from Palestine and ventured to Alexandria, Egypt, the South of France and perhaps even Glastonbury, England in her journey of sharing the message of love.  None of this can be verified, but it resonates as truth to me.

And you, O tower of the flock,
hill of daughter Zion,
to you it shall come,
the former dominion shall come,
the sovereignty of daughter Jerusalem.

Now why do you cry aloud?
Is there no king in you?
Has your counselor perished,

that pangs have seized you like a woman in labor?
Writhe and groan,O daughter Zion,
like a woman in labor;
for now you shall go forth from the city
and camp in the open country;
you shall go to Babylon.

There you shall be rescued,
there the Lord will redeem you
from the hands of your enemies.

Now many nations
are assembled against you,
saying, “Let her be profaned,
and let our eyes gaze upon Zion.”
But they do not know
the thoughts of the Lord;
they do not understand his plan,
that he has gathered them as sheaves to the threshing floor.
Arise and thresh,
O daughter Zion,
for I will make your horn iron
and your hoofs bronze;
you shall beat in pieces many peoples,
 and shalldevote their gain to the Lord,
 their wealth to the Lord of the whole earth.

Micah 4: 8-13

Select Resources

Bourgeault, Cynthia, The Meaning of Mary Magdalene – Discovering the Woman at the Heart of Christianity, Shambhala Publications, 2010.

Haskins, Susan, Mary Magdalene – Myth and Metaphor, Harcourt Brace & Company, 1993.

King, Karen, L., The Gospel of Mary of Magdala – Jesus and the First Woman Apostle, Polebridge Press, 2003.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, Judas and Jesus – Two Faces of a Single Revelation, Inner Traditions, 2006.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Gospel of Mary Magdalene, Inner Traditions, 2002.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Gospel of Philip, Inner Traditions, 2003.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Gospel of Thomas, Inner Traditions, 2005.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Sacred Embrace of Jesus and Mary – The Sexual Mystery at the Heart of the Christian Tradition, Inner Traditions, 2005.

MacDermot, Violet, The Fall of Sophia – A Gnostic Text on the Redemption of Universal Consciousness, Lindisfarne Books, 2001.

Malachi, Tau, The Gnostic Gospel of St. Thomas – Meditations on the Mystical Teachings, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2004.

Malachi, Tau, Gnosis of the Cosmic Christ – a Gnostic Christian Kabbalah, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2005.

Malachi, Tau, Living Gnosis – A Practical Guide to Gnostic Christianity, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2005.

Malachi, Tau, St. Mary Magdalene – The Gnostic Tradition of the Holy Bride, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2006.


Undoing Toxic Capitalistic Conditioning

I am not afraid to publicly admit my vulnerability or share my woundedness. I have observed that in being open and transparent, others are often able to find healing themselves, or at the very least validation for their own feelings and experiences.

Most recently, the thing with which I am most struggling is my sense of failure and shame over where I find myself in my life. Nowhere in my life have I succeeded in the ways in which we are measured or judged in a capitalistic society. I’ve never been given opportunities for wealth. I’ve never had enough discretionary income to save or invest. I don’t have a wall full of awards. I’m not popular in the capitalistic sense of popularity. I’ve never even been “Almost Famous.”

Instead, the opportunities I’ve been given led me to a kind of calling that cannot be measured through externals but only by what is within. At one time, I received validation, affirmation, support, praise and even a sort of notoriety through said-calling, but even that was taken from me (rather, I chose obedience to a calling over obedience to an institution).

Since leaving the institution of the Catholic Church, I’ve been out in the world doing what I have felt called to do. But as of this moment, even this seems to be falling away. Instead of having something somewhat tangible to hold, I find myself doing work to pay my bills that in some ways has its own kind of reward, but which strongly suppresses what I consider to be my truest gifts. There is a sense of emptiness and loss as my gifts lay dying on the ground while I’m just trying to survive in a world that was not made for me.

I’m tired. I feel empty. I’m quite close to abandoning any and all hope of fulfillment in the sense that we’ve been conditioned to believe we are deserving of.

One thing I’ve learned in this life is that we don’t deserve shit. Hard work does not equal success. Neither does a so-called Divine calling. But how, really, is Divine Calling measured?

  • Jesus was crucified.
  • Joan of Arc was burned at the stake.
  • Edith Stein was sent to the gas chamber.
  • Maximilian Kolbe died by lethal injection.
  • Gandhi was assassinated.
  • Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated.
  • Nelson Mandella was imprisoned and tortured.

A Divine Calling provides no guarantees. And yet, for some of us, it seems we have no choice but to follow this so-called Divine path, sacrificing capitalistic rewards for something else.

Today I’m not sure what that “something else” might be. Instead, I feel like I’m drowning in a sense of failure and its accompanying shame. The voice of this shame is continually trying to convince me I did something wrong, I chose the wrong path, and my true gifts don’t really matter. Everyday I feel like I’m bumping up against an impenetrable wall keeping me from my gifts and those who find them to be of value. It’s exhausting and heartbreaking.

And I know I’m not alone. This is why I’m baring my soul. I see you. In know who you are. You are my closest friends and companions who have equally “failed” in the capitalistic sense. You are the intuitives, neurodiverse, visionaries, prophets, and sensitive souls who have found this world simply too much to bear. Many of you struggle with “chronic illness,” in a world for which you were not made. I see you.  I know you.  I’ve heard your stories. Our stories are very much the same.

This too was Jesus’ story and the story of many who followed him:

“I have given them your Word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it.”  John 17: 14-16

Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world.” John 18:36

As those who are called to be and do the work of Love in a world that wants to divide through hatred, we, like Jesus, are not of this world. Instead, we are working on a different plane (so to speak). The work we do is vibrational. It is spiritual. It is energetic. It is intangible and subjective. It cannot be measured by either mathematics, physics, or capitalism. While we may know and believe this in the depths of our soul, this does not free us from the conflict between what our hearts know and what the world wants us to believe. This is where our spiritual practice becomes ever-more important. For me it is this:

  1. I first had to recognize the sense of failure and shame – in how it has been coming out sideways, then as it is anchored in my conditioning.
  2. Then, through inner pondering, I had to identify the nature and source of that shame. Where did I learn this? How is it part of my conditioning? How is it proving harmful.
  3. Then, I chose a self-forgiveness practice to support the healing and release of that shame.
  4. This practice is an ongoing work in progress, but I know that and know to have patience with myself as I heal.
  5. I’m also seeing all the ways in which I try to barrel through the pain of this shame and am TRYING to choose self-care and rest over forcing myself to abide by the “rules of survival.”
  6. Then comes the hard part – trusting that as I care for myself my material needs will be taken care of.

This capitalistic world is not made for us. Yet we have spent our entire lives being conditioned by its rules and measures of success. Undoing toxic capitalistic conditioning isn’t easy. But if we feel called to be Love, we have no choice but to transcend the capitalistic conditioning that has kept the entire world imprisoned. In undoing this conditioning, we are freed from this imprisonment, while providing an example that others may one day choose to follow.

Oh….and here’s a great anthem for undoing toxic capitalistic conditioning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwhBRJStz7w


The Authentic Freedom protocol, created by Lauri Ann Lumby, provides a solid and reliable framework for undoing toxic conditioning and healing our inner spiritual wounds. Into the Wilderness guides you through the in-depth process of learning and applying this process for the sake of your own liberation and freedom.

Magdalene Training Open For Enrollment

As the current group of students in the Magdalene Training Program are approaching the end of their training, and preparing to celebrate their final ordination, I am opening the Magdalene Training Program for the next group of interested students.

The Magdalene Training Program provides resources, knowledge, and tools to support you in your journey of self-discovery and empowered self-actualization.

Through this eighteen-month training program, you will:

  • Become rooted in scholarly and intuitive knowledge of the Magdalene, her role in the ministry of Jesus, and her leadership in the ongoing mission of Love.
  • Discern your own unique giftedness and how you are called to use these gifts for the sake of your own fulfillment and in service to the world.
  • Learn practical skills for uncovering and healing all that separates you from Love and from living as your most authentic self.
  • Rediscover ancient knowledge and practices for self-healing.
  • Cultivate and deepen your contemplative life while growing in contentment and compassion.

Created and facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby

64 weeks of content

7 individual courses

6 private mentoring sessions

With its focus on developmental psychology, mindfulness practices, and the historical Magdalene, this training is unlike any other out there. This program maintains the integrity of the psychological and healing training that Mary, called Magdalene undertook through the guidance of her teacher, Jesus of Nazareth, by keeping the story of the Magdalene in its proper place within the Judeo-Christian narrative. Consistent with the Way of Love as Jesus taught it, the Magdalene Training program transcends dogma and doctrine, thereby restoring the essence of Jesus’ authentic teachings as they were lived out uniquely through the Magdalene and those who eventually became her students.

Resources used in this training include:

  • Canonical and non-canonical scripture (including The Gospel of Mary Magdalene).
  • The Universal Spiritual Gifts Inventory
  • The Enneagram Temperament Profile
  • The Aramaic Lord’s Prayer
  • The Chakra System
  • The Authentic Freedom™ Protocol
  • The Ignatian Spiritual Exercises
  • Ignatius’ Rules of Discernment
  • Meditation and Mindfulness
  • Creativity Practices
  • Guided and self-created ritual

Created and facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby

64 weeks of content (done in your own time at your own pace)

7 individual online courses

6 private mentoring sessions (via ZOOM)

To learn more and begin your enrollment, please click HERE.


Please enjoy the FREE Magdalene Training preview course by clicking on the image to the left.

Does the Universe Have a Plan?

I’m starting right off with all the caveats to what I’m about to write.  Yes, my observations could be 100% white, ableist privilege. They may also be (a term I recently learned) confirmation bias. Or I’m naïve, thrive on wishful thinking, or believe in magic. Any and all of this and more are possibly true.

HOWEVER

Every ancient spiritual text, including the Tao te Ching, the Torah, and Christian scripture seem to agree on one thing: the Universe (aka God) has a plan, and that our lives flow more peacefully and with more ease when we align ourselves with that plan and surrender to it.

The Tao says (in so many words) that whatever is happening RIGHT NOW is the plan. Zen teachings say something similar. The present moment just is, and it is a part of the constant unfolding of the Universes’ becoming. We are part of that becoming.

To put it in theistic terms, God/Goddess/Source is experiencing itself in every possible way through every expression of creation – from the smallest atom to entire universes. We are God expressing God’s Self in the unique creation we were made to be. Cells being cells, trees being trees, humans being humans – all are part of the unfolding/becoming of Source with a destination that is infinite and timeless, perhaps even unlimited. (we are NOT getting into the topic of entropy here!).

This brings us to the unanswerable question. Is this unfolding of Source random (chaos theory) or is there an intelligence that drives that unfolding.

I tend to lean in the direction of the latter – that there is an unknowable intelligence driving this unfolding, and that this intelligence knows exactly what it is doing in its becoming/expressing. I have also come to believe (or chosen to believe) that this intelligence is benevolent and desires the highest good for its expressions of self.

But what does highest good mean? In the psychology of Sri Aurobindo, (and similarly in the Kabbalah) each of us are here for the purpose of learning and growth. Each life we live serves the learning and growth of the Soul which in turn influences our subsequent lives. The human journey is like being cast out to sea so that we can find our own way home. We experience ourselves as separate from Source so that we might have a unique human journey, all the while trying to find our way back to Source. As if journeying down a funnel, each life brings us closer and closer to complete reunion with Source.

We are not, however, cast out to sea without guidance or equipment. Instead, there is a plan for the journey along with a plan for our return. Accounting for freewill, the plan is loose. We can go along with the plan, or we can stray from it. We can surrender to the plan, or we can resist. Surrendering to the plan may include loss, sorrow, betrayal, and pain; but in finding acceptance we experience comfort. Resistance causes suffering. The human journey is not meant to be easy as growth requires struggle. We can, however, choose to make the journey a bit easier on ourselves by trusting in and surrendering to the plan.

BUT WHAT IS THE DAMN PLAN? This is the burning question to which we will never likely receive an answer. Instead, we are left only with what ancient wisdom seems to agree upon:

This is where I find myself today. (let’s ground this thing…shall we!?).  For the past thirty-one years, I thought I understood the plan. I received a calling that I followed. I pursued education and training in that field. I’ve been doing the work in any and all ways I could figure out. I’ve made changes where needed. I’ve adapted to different audiences. I’ve networked myself to death. Now it seems I’ve reached the end of the trail with nothing in front of me except for the VOID. Every effort comes up flat and lifeless and I’m all out of ideas. I could continue to beat this (seemingly) dead horse, or I can just sit my ass down at the end of the trail until something shows itself. I know, from previous experience that attempting anything else will only leave me beaten and bloody. So instead:

I anchor myself in this present moment and trust that the Universe is taking me somewhere, it’s just not yet ready to show me. Or maybe, I just go to sleep knowing the Universe is carrying me to wherever I’m next meant to be.

And just to prove my point: this was my first week off since January. I had great plans on what to do with this time – including searching job postings to help fill some financial needs. Instead, the Universe intervened. Instead of allowing me to get in my own way by not trusting the plan and surrendering to Tao, the Universe gave me a case of the feverish creeping crud. I could do nothing that I had planned for the week except writhe in misery while trying to find something entertaining to watch on TV. Ugh.

Another thing I’ve learned, when we turn away from surrender and attempt to control the plan, we get our ass handed to us. May as well let go and surrender even (especially) when we have no idea of the plan.  It’s just easier that way!  

Finally: a little inspiration from my favorite band, The Osmonds, from their album THE PLAN!


I’m not sure if this, or any of my other trainings will be part of “the plan.” My Magdalene training is available now as are any of my other Magdalene-themed courses. Click on the button below to learn more:

Magdalene Training Open For Enrollment

As the current group of students in the Magdalene Training Program are approaching the end of their training, and preparing to celebrate their final ordination, I am opening the Magdalene Training Program for the next group of interested students.

The Magdalene Training Program provides resources, knowledge, and tools to support you in your journey of self-discovery and empowered self-actualization.

Through this eighteen-month training program, you will:

  • Become rooted in scholarly and intuitive knowledge of the Magdalene, her role in the ministry of Jesus, and her leadership in the ongoing mission of Love.
  • Discern your own unique giftedness and how you are called to use these gifts for the sake of your own fulfillment and in service to the world.
  • Learn practical skills for uncovering and healing all that separates you from Love and from living as your most authentic self.
  • Rediscover ancient knowledge and practices for self-healing.
  • Cultivate and deepen your contemplative life while growing in contentment and compassion.

Created and facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby

64 weeks of content

7 individual courses

6 private mentoring sessions

With its focus on developmental psychology, mindfulness practices, and the historical Magdalene, this training is unlike any other out there. This program maintains the integrity of the psychological and healing training that Mary, called Magdalene undertook through the guidance of her teacher, Jesus of Nazareth, by keeping the story of the Magdalene in its proper place within the Judeo-Christian narrative. Consistent with the Way of Love as Jesus taught it, the Magdalene Training program transcends dogma and doctrine, thereby restoring the essence of Jesus’ authentic teachings as they were lived out uniquely through the Magdalene and those who eventually became her students.

Resources used in this training include:

  • Canonical and non-canonical scripture (including The Gospel of Mary Magdalene).
  • The Universal Spiritual Gifts Inventory
  • The Enneagram Temperament Profile
  • The Aramaic Lord’s Prayer
  • The Chakra System
  • The Authentic Freedom™ Protocol
  • The Ignatian Spiritual Exercises
  • Ignatius’ Rules of Discernment
  • Meditation and Mindfulness
  • Creativity Practices
  • Guided and self-created ritual

Created and facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby

64 weeks of content (done in your own time at your own pace)

7 individual online courses

6 private mentoring sessions (via ZOOM)

To learn more and begin your enrollment, please click HERE.


Please enjoy the FREE Magdalene Training preview course by clicking on the image to the left.

Being Love in a World that Wants to Hate

Being Love requires persistence, discipline, personal responsibility, accountability, and courage. Being Love requires vulnerability and humility. Being Love asks us to be willing to admit where we have been wrong, especially when our being wrong has wronged another. Being Love requires forgiveness – forgiveness of self and other – but likely not the kind of forgiveness you learned about in church. Being Love requires commitment along with countless opportunities to re-commit.

Being Love is an inside job. Being Love takes work. Being Love is hard. It is for these reasons, and the ones mentioned above, that so few even attempt, let alone succeed at being Love. This is especially true in a world that wants to be hate and which appears to be overwhelmingly successful in being hate.

Hate is easy. Born out of our instinctual drive to be suspicious of that which is unfamiliar, hate separates and divides in an attempt to keep us safe from the unknown. As reasoning animals, we are supposed to evolve past this drive to separate. Sadly, most have not evolved past this, simply because evolving takes work. Hating is easy. Being Love is hard.

Even with intention, desire, commitment, and drive, being Love is hard. I’ve learned and experienced this in my own life. One of the reasons hatred is so easy is because it feeds us. Hatred allows us to believe we are right and everyone else is wrong. Hatred fills us with a charge that can feel energizing and empowering. Hatred makes us feel powerful. Hatred allows us to feel superior. Hatred creates in us the illusion of being safe from those who have or could cause us harm.

Feeding on hatred, however, is like ingesting poison. Feeding on hatred makes us sick. Many years ago I became aware of the ways in which hatred was harming me. Eventually I decided to stop.  

Deciding to stop was only the first step, however.  From then on, I have dived deeply into researching and applying a multitude of wisdom practices that have helped me move from being hate to being Love.  In applying these practices, this is what I’ve learned:

  1. We cannot just “think” our way into being Love.
  2. Instead, we must go deep within ourselves to the places we have forgotten that we are Love and heal those.
  3. Over and over and over and over and over and over again.
  4. Being Love (and by association forgiveness) has NOTHING to do with “the other,” and everything to do with ourselves.
  5. As we heal the inner obstacles to Love, we are not only healing ourselves, others are healed as well.
  6. Another human’s inability to being Love is none of our business, except as an invitation to being more loving ourselves.
  7. We cannot heal or change anyone but ourselves.
  8. We can despise an individual’s actions while still having Love for them.

This #8 may in fact be the single most important challenge to us as we try to be Love. Every single day we encounter wounded and broken human beings who do not know they are Love. Having never been given a chance, or having never chosen to evolve, they find themselves living solely out of their instinctual center. From this fear center, the only way they know how to function is to divide themselves from that which they perceive as different. It is out of this fear that things like racism, classism, sexism, xenophobia, and homophobia arise. While our reasoning minds might not be able to understand how someone would purposefully choose hatred, until we evolve beyond our instinctual drives, anything other than hatred might not be a choice. To put it succinctly, hatred is just another word for fear. While we might despise the actions of someone choosing hatred over Love, we can have compassion and love for the wounded human inside of them who doesn’t know any other way to respond to fear.

While responding to fear/hatred with more fear/hatred might be easy, it is not how we bring more Love into our world. The only way for Love to grow is to be Love ourselves. In being Love and continuing to heal the places in ourselves that have forgotten we are Love, we are  providing humanity with an example of what Love looks like which then gives them an opportunity to make another choice.

Being hatred or being Love?  It is a choice.


The Order of the Magdalene Formation Program provides you with resources, knowledge, and tools to support you in your own journey of self-discovery and empowerment.