Again, welcome to new subscribers. As a new arrival to this community, I wanted to give you the opportunity to get caught up on some topics that might be important to you! Click on the links below for topical articles and lessons.
Scripture through an Informed Lens
Thank you for allowing yourself to receive the nourishment and support through these “musings.” I appreciate your presence here and your contribution to the ongoing unfolding of human evolution!
With love,
Lauri
*an excerpt from my book, Choosing Love.
A man I know to be one of the kindest, most generous, faithful, and humble human beings, posted a horribly negative comment against our incoming government officials who are of the Muslim faith. I joined my daughter in righteous anger over his comments. How could someone who claims to be a devout Christian, and otherwise a good, kind, and generous man believe such horrible things of our Muslim brothers and sisters? I was angry, but beyond the anger, I felt horribly sad. How could this man, for whom I otherwise have the utmost respect, believe that his hatred and fear of Muslims is any way shape or form consistent with Jesus’ teachings? I wanted to step in and ask him if he had read the story of The Good Samaritan (Luke 10: 25-37) – a story Jesus used to teach us that often the kindest and most “Godly” acts are performed by those who are not of our “tribe” or “belief system.” I also wanted to quote the story of the Syrophoenician woman (Mark 7: 24-30) who was instrumental in converting Jesus of his own beliefs – who through her persistence and insistence convinced Jesus that he was here for the whole world – not just the tribes of Israel. I refrained from commenting, but I still found myself troubled. So I brought this quandary to prayer.
This is when my compassion stepped in. My friend, in his fear and hatred of Muslims is simply believing what he has been taught by the version of Christianity to which he subscribes – a version cloaked in the same fear of “the other” that he already carried in his mind. To me, this is very sad. And yet, this man, like every single human being walking this planet, is a vessel of Love just waiting to be found. Quite simply, he hasn’t yet found the fullness of his Love – the Love he already is and was made to be, but which is currently hidden beneath a curtain of fear. He freely and generously loves those who believe as he does and in his working profession, generously loves those in need of his service. But, because he doesn’t yet know the fullness of the Love that he is and he hasn’t yet discovered the fullness of Divine love, he is not yet able to love every human being in the way that God does. Here he is bearing out Jesus’ most profound and simplest teaching:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12: 30-31
This scripture has most often been interpreted as a commandment, but it could just as easily be taken as an observation of what is true. We are only capable of loving our neighbor to the extent that we love ourselves. Put another way, the degree to which we can love other human beings is proportionate to the degree to which we believe in God’s love for us, and the degree to which we are able to love ourselves as God loves us. This is a plain and simple human truth. My friend is unable to love his Muslim brothers and sisters because for some reason he does not yet comprehend the vast and unconditional nature of God’s love and in this, is also unable to unconditionally love himself. He still has more love in him waiting to be found.
The same is true of all of us. Each one of us is Love waiting to be found. And every one of us is somewhere along the continuum of finding and then living from that love. Our actions on this human plane reflect the degree to which we know the love that we are.
This brings me to the topic of evil. In the human experience we witness a whole lot of what we are tempted to judge as evil. Evil, we have been taught, is the antithesis of love and something to fear and work toward eradicating. We are taught that God judges us according to our evil and that we are then punished accordingly. This is not what Jesus taught – but it is how fearful men have interpreted Jesus’ teachings and used this interpretation to gain an advantage. The issue is ultimately one of translation.
Evil does not mean the same thing as the word Jesus used that has been translated into “evil.” The Aramaic word Jesus used was bisha (Neil Douglas Klotz, Prayers of the Cosmos). Bisha is an agricultural word which simply means unripe. When Jesus uses the word “evil” in scripture, he is simply observing the unripe nature of the person committing said-evil. There is no judgment here, only a direct observation of the actions arising out of one who has not yet ripened in love.
When we have not uncovered the fullness of our Love, then we act from limited and fearful states. In God’s eyes, we are not “evil” in the way that we understand this word in our English language – we are unripe – our fruit is immature. I like to think of it this way – when we walk up to an apple tree and see that the apples are not yet ripe, we don’t shake our fist in condemnation over the unripe apples. We simply wait until apples are ripe.
The same is true of God. God is watching all of us, patiently waiting for us to come into our own ripeness and loving us through every stage of our own personal process. We are all Love waiting to be found and God is waiting along with us – excitedly and with anticipation – the same way we anxiously and excitedly wait for our own children to reveal who they truly are.
We are all love waiting to be found and the Divine is here loving us into knowing the fullness of this love. It is up to us to say yes. We say yes every time we are willing to receive healing for the fears and unhealed wounds that otherwise hide our love. In the end, this is my prayer for my friend – that he finds healing for the fears within him that are limiting his ability to know and live from the fullness of the Love that I already see glowing within him.
Choosing Love is a collection of fifty-two spiritual lessons and practices for personal and global transformation. These lessons and practices invite you to shake off the cloak of cultural conditioning and discover the freedom of the LOVE hidden within. Here there is no God to appease, no outside perceived authority whose approval needs to be earned, and nothing that can keep you from being and living as your most authentic self. LOVE is who you are. Choose that LOVE.
We live in a divided world. Divided by gender, sexual orientation, race, nationality, religion, and politics – to name a few. When viewed as sacred differences that make each of us uniquely special, these differences serve us. When treated as something to be judged or feared, these divisions cause us harm, leading to prejudice, hatred, violence, and war.
Our differences are meant to be our gifts, instead humanity has turned them into the cause of hate. Hatred, however, is a choice. We can continue to choose hate, which leads to the devolution of humanity, and our eventual extinction; or we can choose Love and be witness to and participants in the grand evolution of human consciousness which would lead to all kinds of miracles – the likes of which we can hardly begin to imagine.
I choose Love.
Choosing Love, however, is no simple task. In fact, it has taken me a lifetime to even come close to being the Love that I truly want to be in the world. My version of Being Love is by no means perfect. There are people I continue to despise. There are experiences and situations that hurl me into a rage. There are times I want to say or do the unkind thing. I’m still human after all. I don’t, however, act on the surface feelings of my unhealed wounds, neither do I purposefully cause harm. Choosing Love is a moment by moment task.
Choosing Love is also a lifetime process. This process begins by learning to identify every obstacle in front of, and within us, to love. Then we are invited to enter into the arduous task of clearing those obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are the result of human conditioning – the ways in which we were taught to be and act in our family systems, our communities, our culture, our society, our world. Sometimes identifying our conditioning is simple and the choice to move past that conditioning is easy. Other times, it can be quite complicated as our conditioning is often subtle, even unconscious.
Beyond conditioning, the obstacles to love are all the places within us where we have been wounded. These wounds include times were felt betrayed, where our needs were ignored or denied, where we were criticized or condemned for who we are, where we felt unloved or were treated in non-loving ways. These wounds include past abuse, rejection, and times our love was met with hate. These unhealed wounds are, in turn, the cause of our own non-loving behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs.
Division is a choice. So too is Love. Choosing Love begins by choosing Love for ourselves, and doing to the deep and challenging work of healing the inner obstacles to knowing and being that Love. As we transform ourselves, we are more free to be Love and being that Love plants the seeds of inspiration for others to do the same. When we are faced with Division, Choose Love. When challenged by hate, choose Love. When our unhealed wounds are triggered by the unhealed wounds of another, choose the loving thing and heal our wounds.
As our world appears to be increasingly divided, we can choose to participate in that division, or we can choose to Be Love.
I choose Love.
and how those beliefs were undone
I didn’t grow up wealthy, but I did grow up privileged. I was born white to middle class parents, raised in a predominantly white third-generation neighborhood of white-collar professionals and tradesmen. In most of the homes around us, the men worked, and the mothers stayed home. The children were feral and unsupervised, only because everyone believed we were safe. We had a roof over our head, three square homecooked meals a day, new clothing (unless you were a younger sibling), and a basement full of toys. We enjoyed piano and dance lessons. Our parents sent us to private school.
Life was good and in that state of perceived safety and abundance, we believed in the promise of “The American Dream” – a good education and hard work was the path to success and the harder you worked, the more successful you would become. We were also taught that welfare was for lazy people and we should judge them and treat them accordingly. There was a clear dividing line between us (hard workers) and them. And a not-so-subtle dividing line between us (white people) and them (people of color).
All of this happened along side a devout Catholic upbringing. God was the old man in the sky. We were undeserving of God’s love. God’s love had to be earned and could be taken away. And abortion was a mortal sin. We were even invited to join the school’s “Pro-Life” club from whom we would get a bright shiny silver bracelet marking us as “soldiers of Christ” in the war against abortion (this was all on the heels of Roe vs. Wade). As a young adult, I volunteered at a pro-life “clinic” for women facing unexpected pregnancies.
In addition to all of this: we were raised Republican. We were told Republicans were good and were looking out for the good of the people and that Democrats were communists – and that was bad! I remember knock down drag ‘em out fights between certain family members who (gasp) belonged on different ends of the political spectrum. The Democrats were good people, but clearly delusional – at least that’s what we were led to believe.
In college (YES! I attended university, which was mostly paid for by my parents – another privilege), I joined a sorority (more privilege), continued attending mass and attended adult faith formation classes. I voted for Ronald Reagan, and later, for George H. W. Bush.
My previous stance on abortion was the first thing to go. In the volunteer position, I witnessed first-hand the violent tactics often used by the Pro-life movement in dissuading women from seeking an abortion. There was no compassion shown, only judgment, accompanied by violent and graphic images of late-term abortions. There was a reason I wasn’t allowed into the “counseling” room at the clinic. Additionally, with over 40% of pregnancies being unplanned, I was bound to eventually meet a young woman, likely a friend, who would have to face a sometimes-difficult choice. As statistics would have it – I did – come to know of several friends who at one time had to face an unplanned pregnancy. Further, I knew of several who had no choice but to seek the termination of the pregnancy for medical issues related to either the baby, or their own survival. Abortion, it turned out, wasn’t so black and white. How could I judge a woman (or a couple) who was having to face the most difficult decision of their life – one that would stay with them their whole life. The decision to terminate a pregnancy (no matter what the circumstances) is a wound that does not heal. It changes, but the pain will always be there on some level. Compassion told me to put myself in the others’ shoes and support them through a very difficult decision. And to understand that at any point, I could find myself in a similar position forced to make a similar difficult choice.
The second thing that went was my belief in the American Dream. The first of this leaving happened in my own professional journey. Sheepskin in hand, I went out looking for work. And this is a FACT – not once in my 40 years of being in the post-college workforce have I made more than $26,000 per year. NEVER. Not once. This was not for lack of effort, work, skills, or abilities. Now at a ripe almost 60, it is not for lack of education, experience, or expertise. The universe has imposed some sort of invisible ceiling between myself and money – never even surpassing (which was also the big privileged promise) the salary of my father.
Then I experienced poverty. Thankfully not poverty of the sort that far too many suffer, but I have faced an enduring period of financial struggle – the likes of which has had me utilizing some of those so-called “communist” programs. I have received rental assistance and energy assistance. I qualified for Food Stamps and could have been using the Food Pantry (I chose to use neither, but at a grave consequence to me financially – eventually leading to bankruptcy). I have enjoyed the profound benefits of the Affordable Healthcare Act – in fact, my life depends on it. Finally, I am on an income-based repayment plan for my graduate school student loans (if anyone wants to argue with me about student loan forgiveness, DON’T!!!!! I will direct you straight to Matt Taibbi and his expose’ on the criminal nature of the student loan industry!!!!!)
Beyond my own personal experience, I have witnessed hundreds, if not thousands struggling with similar or much worse circumstances. I have seen, through clear eyes, that the so-called “American Dream” is a lie and that there are, indeed, systemic obstacles to Americans realizing that dream. This fact of reality breaks my heart and inspires me to share my own journey beyond the lies that come with privilege.
As it relates to Catholicism. This may be the biggest irony of them all. I have always been a woman of faith (whatever that means). I was a devout Catholic until the local Church made it clear I was no longer welcome. Jesus is my teacher and Mary Magdalene has become a guide. I sometimes pray the rosary and turn to Michael the Archangel in times of anxiety. I cherish my Catholic upbringing – for good and bad – but mostly, for what I learned about social justice:
Jesus calls us to love. Period. And he was quite clear about what love looked like:
As it turns out, it is my faith that has called me to depart from the politics in which I was once immersed and toward a political stance that supports the needs of the all. As my own life has shown me, even privilege does not guarantee that life will provide us with what we need. It has also shown me that by our own efforts, our own needs may not necessarily be met. There’s a little story in scripture that seems to provide a solution to this quandary:
All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. (Acts 2: 44-45)
If a sharing among the common good was good enough for Jesus and his earliest disciples, then it’s good enough for me. This is what love has taught me.
a warning written in blood?
This morning, another Magdalene appropriator was brought to my attention. Knowing this person and their long history of taking credit for other people’s work, or outright stealing their work for their own uses, I first became afraid, then enraged. How dare this person (who I know)…
I tried. I really tried to write something – appropriate? Scathing? Eeking of black magic? But I found I just couldn’t.
I just couldn’t because, it’s already been done!
These are my very own words! (Read full blog here).
The Magdalene doesn’t need my defending. Neither does the work I do on her behalf and in her name.
As a dear friend reminded me, “I wouldn’t be too worried about it. Those drawn to her (said appropriator) are not on the same frequency as you are. You don’t want that low vibration. It’ll make you sick.” Right on that.
As one of my current training participants celebrated:
Meaning – it’s the real deal! Rooted in scholarship. Anchored in contemplative prayer. Centered in scripture. Facilitating human development resulting in self-actualization.
No whoo. No one blowing smoke up someone’s ass telling them what they want to hear. No one taking advantage of other people’s insecurities or vulnerabilities to make themselves rich. NO SHINY OBJECTS!
No wonder I couldn’t write what I originally intended. It’s not what the Magdalene would have done. Instead, it seems she intervened by staying my blood-dipped pen, forcing me to remember that I am not the one doing the work – She is! And…
In a world filled with false prophets, impostors, self-appointed gurus, charlatans, snake-oil salespeople, and millionaire pastors, it is imperative that we become ever-more vigilant with our own impeccability. Millions of people are starving for guidance and direction, answers to life’s unanswerable questions, and comfort from the terrors of this world. There are equally many who are happy to provide people with what they want. Many of these are of integrity, educated and trained in what they provide, responsible and careful in that provision, and accountable to the established ethics of their field. Some are not.
Impeccability is about more than just our word. It is about what we say, how we say it, what we mean by it, the authority behind it, our education and training, to whom we are accountable, and on what we base our word. Let me provide an example from the world of the Magdalene.
Since the early 90’s, literally hundreds of so-called authorities on The Magdalene have made themselves known. Some are academic scholars providing the findings of research that has been examined under the rigors of peer-review. Some are historians who have embarked on a treasure hunt seeking out clues to the Magdalene legends as they were handed down through folklore, art, cultural traditions, and monuments created in her name. Some are the holders of oral traditions that have been handed down for thousands of years. Some receive their knowledge through dreams, visions, intuitive guidance, and their creative imaginations. Others are just making shit up.
The Magdalene field has become as vast as it is deep. There is something in this field for everyone. Something for those simply seeking entertainment. Something for the scholars and academics. Something for the new age community. Something for the witches and goddess worshippers. Something for those looking for an outside perceived authority to tell them what is true and what to believe. Something for those who simply want someone to blow smoke up their ass, telling them what they want to hear. There is now a Magdalene for everyone. This does NOT mean that every Magdalene is authentic or true. As I posted on Facebook the other day:
Someone, apparently didn’t like what I posted, thinking I was throwing shade. Well….maybe I was throwing a little shade….but here’s my come-from as it relates to the Magdalene and by association, impeccability:
In my Magdalene work, for example, I do my best to be clear. “This is based on scholarship….this is a work of fiction…this came through my intuition/creative imagination…I completely made this up but I would love for it to be true.” I’m also careful to identify my resources, remaining as close to authentic scholarship where possible and explaining where these resources reside in the spectrum of verifiable fact, theory, or simply oral tradition or legend. I’m admittedly a stickler for scholarship that is soundly rooted in the scientific method.
When we are clear about our come-from, then people know how to take the resources, guidance, and support we provide for them and apply them (or not) in their lives. This is true whether it be about the Magdalene, spiritual direction, counseling, healing, or just giving advice as it relates to our mutual fields of expertise. I believe this is especially important, critical even, when we present ourselves as teachers, guides, or healers for others.
We must be impeccable about what we are offering and how it is to be used and received. If we aren’t doing this, people could actually be harmed. As I said before, there are millions of vulnerable people looking for comfort and guidance and our job is not to enable them or take advantage of their vulnerability. Our job is to empower them. We can’t do this if we aren’t impeccable with our words, our motivations, our source of knowledge, and our actions.
In other words: Be honest. Be clear. And Check Yourself!
A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…..there was an author who dared to suggest that at the end of our spiritual journey, is a return to the mundane. This author is Richard Bach and the books is Illusions – the Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah. In this story, Donald, a messiah, quits his messiah business and becomes a pilot. He then travels the wilds, giving people rides in his three-passenger plane. As the story demonstrates, being a messiah is a tricky, stressful business that has even been shown to get people killed. This, among other reasons, is why Donald quits his spiritual business and returns to the everyday, mundane world.
I first read this book in my twenties, and several times more in my thirties (it’s a short book and can be read in a day). I got the moral of the story then, but as I’m approaching sixty, I relate to this story even more. Not because I consider myself a messiah (one sometimes suffering with a messiah complex maybe), but because I now understand that after we have completed our spiritual journey (it’s never really complete – but we do eventually arrive at a place of “enough”), life takes on a whole different feeling and flavor.
In technical terms, the spiritual journey, as it has been articulated by the ancient mystics, is comprised of four stages – spirit entering form, awakening and ascension, the great descent, and then ending in spirit leaving form and returning to source – Death. Each tradition gives these stages their own names, but the general descriptions are much the same.
Western pop-culture spirituality gives a lot of attention to the awakening/ascension stage of the journey, so with this you may be familiar. The great descent, however, is most often ignored as it is rife with challenge, struggle, ego-death, and suffering. It is the stage of the journey where after finding union with Source/God, we are plunged into the depths of our own inner hell – made up of our unhealed wounds, past traumas, spiritual fears, cultural conditioning, ego-attachments and more. This is a hell made up of all those things within us that have forgotten our original nature as Love resulting in non-loving beliefs or behaviors about ourselves or others. It is here where we must come face to face (for example) with all our desires to be famous, rich, powerful, desirable, admired, respected, special, and needed rear their ugly face. This is also where we must confront every single lie we’ve been told and illusion we’ve created about life needing to have meaning and purpose in a way that is tangible, visible, and seen. Finally, during this descent, every illusion and need for control will be pried from the grip of our cold, dead, fingers.
There’s a reason few speak of this stage of our spiritual journey. Having been thrown into this stage somewhere around the year 2000, I know it well and can say not one single person chooses descent to make up nearly thirty years of their life! I am also here to attest that the descent does eventually come to an end of sorts. Perhaps there are still ego attachments to confront, and pain still to be endured, but with these we have become familiar and accustomed and now we have tools for moving through these subtle layers of deepening in the important journey of ego-death.
The great descent frees us from all which imprisons us in insecurity, fear, ego-attachment, etc. While being freed, our truest nature of Love in Union with Source is increasingly liberated. Each moment we give to this transformation, we come to more and more fully live as Love, embracing all we are as Love (including our humanness) while finding the simple joy of being in the human experience. Here we are no longer bothered by life’s pursuit of meaning or purpose. Neither are we plagued by our imperfections. We are now able to return to the innocence we knew as children when we could simply enjoy the wonder of discovery, curiosity, and unbothered play. (YES, I know not every child’s childhood was great, but there was an innocence there among the pain.)
It is at this stage of our spiritual journey where many-a-messiah leave behind their work of saving the world and get on with simply living, which for those like the character in Illusions means returning to the mundane.
online course
Learn what comes after ascension. The journey from unity consciousness to embodiment.
Straight Talk About God Part II
Since the beginning of time, human beings have been creating God in their own image, not the other way around. In the earliest times, when humans lived close to the earth and whose survival depended on the whims of nature, it made sense that the first gods represented the movements of nature: storm gods, fire gods, water gods, all whose approval needed to be earned in order that humankind might survive. From this the evolution from nature gods to anthropomorphic deities resembling human beings in form and behavior was a natural progression.
Initially, these anthropomorphic beings were both male and female in form. At times they were primarily female as primitive human recognized that it was from woman that all humans come into being. Eventually, through events that can only be theorized, the feminine gods were supplanted by the male-only, all-powerful, warlike patriarchal god. This god, much like the nature gods, was one whose approval needed to be earned so that human beings might survive. For each human tribe, this man-god was given different names, but the qualities remained the same. Like human beings themselves, this god was jealous, vengeful, punitive, fickle, played favorites, and sometimes loved his creations. Mostly, however, this god needed to be worshiped, honored, and required sacrifice. Through “his” priests, this god delivered laws that required obedience. Straying from these laws elicited punishment, banishment from the tribe, and sometimes death.
These human-made gods have not evolved much in the last ten thousand years – at least not in the way these gods are articulated in the context of institutional religion. “The Old Man in the Sky” god still holds sway. AND YET – while this is the god created by man, this is NOT the god experienced by the mystics, and certainly not the God that Jesus came to know and tried to describe to his companions. The god of the institution is one born out of the mind. The God experienced by mystics is one born of the heart. This is the God that Jesus said “dwelled within us” and the one we can come to know by “going into our inner room.” And yet, this God was not of Jesus’ experience alone. Mystics, contemplative, and holy people since the beginning of time have described the experience of knowing versus knowing the Divine, the emphasis placed on the former.
Through the mystics, humanity has been introduced to a God beyond the anthropomorphic god of humankind’s creation. The God that the mystics experienced was one that transcended material form and human behavior. There are no real words to describe this experience of God, though attempts have been made through such words as: Presence, Being, Essence, Transcendence, Enlightenment, Nirvana, Bliss, Ecstasy, Spirit, The Void, The No-Thing. The author of the epistles accredited to John, called this God Love.
In the Catholic church in which I was raised, the old man in the sky God was (and continues to be) the favored image of God, specifically, God the Father. God the Father is the source of all creation, the architect of the universe, omnipotent, omniscient, loving like a father, but also one whose judgment we were taught to fear. For the majority of Catholics this father-god (specifically male) is their sole image of God, and one they will defend in spite of the fullness of Church teaching.
But the Church itself teaches that God is not exclusively male. In fact, the official teaching of the Catholic church is that God has no gender and in no way resembles humankind:
“In no way is God in man’s image. He is neither man nor woman. God is pure spirit in which there is no place for the difference between sexes. (Paragraph 370 Catechism of the Catholic Church).”
I’m just going to leave that here for those raised Catholic to read again, and again, and again, as they/we attempt to reconcile this official teaching from what we were taught by our pastors, nuns, teachers, and parents.
God is pure spirit and in no way resembles humankind. BOOM!
Straight Talk About God Part 1
In this series, I’m going to explore the topic of “God.” As a spiritual woman rooted in science and reason, I can’t help but question that thing that some call “God,” or rather, human beings’ creation of the “God” to whom they assign all kinds of images and meanings – based more on human behavior than on God Itself. This series will address these questions, not for the sake of providing proof of God or even an answer into the nature of God, but instead, to provide support for those like me whose lives have caused them to question what they were once told they must believe.
In the Catholic religion in which I was raised, God was a mystery and yet the Church, through doctrine and dogma, provided its own beliefs about God. As a post-Vatican II Catholic, my first lessons about the nature of God were all about love. God was Love. God loved us without condition. God was all-loving and loved every single human being wholly and equally. This unconditional love, however, was also tempered with the caveat that God did love Catholics more than those of other faiths. Additionally, while being all-loving, God was punitive, jealous and wrathful. More than God’s love, we were taught to attend to God’s judgment. Breaking one of the ten commandments or sinning against the Church would earn you an eternity in hell, or if you were lucky, an extended stay in purgatory. If you were extra lucky, you had loved ones praying for your soul’s release from purgatory so that you could enjoy an eternity in heaven (that special heaven reserved only for Catholics) that much quicker.
As you can imagine, these conflicting images of God created a fair bit of cognitive dissonance in me, and I would guess, in most Catholics. Is God loving or is God punitive? Exploring scripture didn’t help the matter. The Old Testament God was wrathful, played favorites and destroyed those who were not His chosen ones. The New Testament God was equally confusing. Was God Love, as John’s letters suggested, unconditionally forgiving like the father in the story of the Prodigal Son, or did he separate sheep from goats and cast hulls into the fiery pits of hell? The Church only compounded this confusion by heaping conditions upon God’s love. Only IF we were a Catholic in “good standing,” and free from sin could we enjoy God’s heavenly reward. Further, freedom from sin was dependent upon full participation in the sacraments. Everything, it seemed, was conditional, including your own membership and participation in the Church. Sinners weren’t welcome. The divorced were shunned. Those “living in sin” were condemned. And single persons (who didn’t choose vowed religious life) were held in contempt.
At the end of the day, God was a cause for confusion and depending on who you asked, their answers about God differed. From priest to priest, nun to nun, parent to parent, friend to friend, everyone had their own beliefs about God. What life has shown me, is that not a single one of them were correct. Here is where my reason steps in. How can any single human being comprehend the great mystery that is our origin in creation? How can anyone fathom the Source from which we came, assuming there is even a source. The scientific truth is that our planet, everything upon this earth, including humankind, could simply be a random mistake of nature. At some time in the distant past, the perfect grouping of particles came together and poof – we were made. Did some Divine hand orchestrate this creation or is it simply the workings of chance? These are the questions that come to my mind when pondering about God.
I have grown increasingly weary of the new thought, new age, la la positivity movements and their “can-do” attitude subtly laced with shame and guilt. You know the routine:
Yadda Yadda Yadda
On all of this I call BULL SHIT!
Seriously, the very last thing we need in our lives is a reinforcement of the messages many of us grew up with: “You did something wrong. There’s something wrong with you. It’s your fault. God is punishing you. God will punish you.”
Guilt. Shame. Blame. Over-responsibility.
Again, I call bullshit on this all.
Life is life. Period.
Sometimes in life we experience joy and ease. Sometimes life sucks and we die. Sometimes good things come from hard work. Sometimes only pain comes from hard work. Somedays we feel happy and joyful. Other days we feel depressed. Sometimes it seems we have the power to create our reality……..OR……..was the creation a function of privilege?
At 59 years old, I’ve learned there is really no rhyme or reason to life. Sometimes really bad people do nothing and seem to get everything they want. Often, really good people work really hard and get nothing. Perfectly healthy, really good young people get sick and die by no fault of their own, and absolutely terrible human beings get sick with a terminal illness and live for fucking ever! No amount of thinking the right thoughts, praying the right prayers, or so-called life contracts or past life experiences change the circumstances of the human condition.
The human condition JUST IS. We have joy. We experience suffering. We find ease. We struggle. And none of this is our fault!!!!! Our thoughts don’t dictate our life. Prayers and spells don’t change the course of fate. Life just is. And the last thing we need in the already difficult experience of being human is someone gloating about their good fortune and then telling us we don’t have what they do because we signed a life contract or thought the wrong thoughts. F*CK that SH*T!
But here is what we can do with life: Find resources and tools that help us to survive it!
Lauri Ann Lumby 