love

Endings

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

I’m writing this for the sake of transparency and to be open and honest about the vulnerability that comes with endings.

Endings: It seems that the work I have passionately nurtured over the past thirty years is coming to an end. I’m not going into the details of this because the details are boring and unimportant. What matters is that many people have been served and found benefit in my in-person and online courses and training programs. I am grateful to have been able to serve in this way and for the creative inspiration that brought these courses and services into being.

Endings: are weird. I should be sad, but I’m not. I have been sad and the grief has gone from despair to terror to writhing, to surrender. Today, I find myself resigned. As St. Paul said, “I’ve fought the good fight. (2 Timothy 4:7)” I’ve been obedient to the inner guidance that compelled me to create these courses and share them. I’ve done what I know how to do to extend invitations for people to participate. I’ve shown up as a facilitator and guide. For a time, people showed up to enthusiastically participate. Over time, that has dwindled. Now there is nothing.

Endings: It’s ok. “To everything there is a season….turn, turn, turn…” But I have to ask, what comes after reaping?

Endings: Nothing. Nothing comes after reaping.  After reaping is fallow time. It’s a time to rest and to wait. It’s a time to simply be. For now, this is what I’m doing. I know better than to beat bushes and chase after potential new opportunities. I know better than to try to hold up something that is already dead. I know better than to force something that is not yet ready to come into being.

Endings: Waiting in the no-thing is hard. Unfinished sorrows come up to be revisited. “Shoulda, coulda, woulda’s” whisper in our ears. With nothing to do we grow restless and impatient. We are tempted to try to “make things happen” when we are really only supposed to be anchored firmly in the void. Fears around survival make their appearance. “How will you pay your bills?  How will you cover rent? What will you do about money?” We are conditioned to act, but during these fallow times, our conditioning no longer serves.

Endings: Wait. Watch. Listen. Be present to whatever faces of grief and temptation show themselves. Refrain from doing or taking action until whatever is coming to take the place of what is ending shows itself. And know that the new, when it comes, will be obvious and exactly what I need at this place in my journey for whatever time I have left on this planet.

Endings: are a blessing for they clear the way for something new and better to take its place – often something we might never expect for ourselves and potentially something beyond our wildest dreams. I am willing to surrender to this ending so that new life might come in – whatever that new life might be.

Endings: another thing I’ve learned is that I am not in charge. Source/God alone knows what it has planned for me. “Let it be done to me according to your word.”

PS: for those who will want to worry, I’m really ok. Sad, yes. Unsure about what is to come, yes. And while I don’t exactly know what this ending will fully look like, it’s been a long-time coming. I’ve experienced endings before and know that here too, something is coming to take its place. It just hasn’t yet shown itself. Without my interference, it will and I will know it when it arrives. Thank you for your kind thoughts and support through this time of unknowing. Love, Lauri.

When Reaching Across the Divide Fails

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Regardless of the chasm that seems to separate human beings from each other, I continue to believe that we have more in common with each other than not. I have been shown this time and time again when I have reached out to those who appear to believe differently than I – whether that belief be about religion, politics, or any other things to which humans cling tightly. Granted, my reaching out is mostly toward those I already know and trust and who I believe can enter into civil discourse. (In building a bridge, I reserve the right to also keep myself safe from those who have no desire to be civil.) In the past I have shared my experiences of reaching across the divide and the positive results of doing so.  I learned new things, as did those toward whom I reached. We discovered common ground and learned that we could honor and respect each other’s differences. Friendship and love prevailed.

Sadly, yesterday I experienced something not so positive. A comment was made on one of my FB threads by someone I thought I knew well and with whom I share common blood. I was not surprised by their comment that demonstrated a dramatically different perception than my own. Because of my love and respect for this person, I did not challenge them on FB. Instead, I reached out privately in the spirit of inquiry and discovery. I simply wanted to learn. I explained I had no interest in changing their mind or confronting their views.  I simply wanted to understand why they believed that way. I used every skill I know to assure them my intentions were not violent, but were open and welcoming. Sadly, their response was no response. Crickets.

I cannot guess at their reason for not responding. All I can be is sad that they were not willing to meet with me across the perceived divide. A profound opportunity was lost in their refusal to engage. I suspect that if they had been willing to enter into a civil conversation, we would have learned that we are more alike in our beliefs than different and that we could honor and respect each other for where we differ.

There is nothing more I can do to invite conversation with this individual, but this illustrates to me the perfect example of where we find ourselves as human beings. No matter where humans reside geographically, it seems they have dug their heels in and crossed their arms over their individual beliefs and against those of others. We need look no further than the debacle of American politics or the wars over Gaza and Ukraine to see examples of human beings refusing to reach across the divide. Attached to being right, maintaining control, and acquiring perceived power and wealth, humanity stands with arms crossed and hearts closed.

Again, I find this incredibly sad. Division will never be healed or common ground established as long as our hearts are closed. While others may not be willing or able to uncross their arms for the purpose of entering into deep listening to another, I am, and I will continue to reach out when and where it’s appropriate because I am willing to learn, I know I don’t know everything, I can accept being wrong. I’m not attached to any specific belief except that defined and lived by Love and I’d rather reach across the divide than turn my back on friends and loved ones who might believe differently than I.

Hold the Line

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

Hold the Line

Love isn’t always on time.

These are the words that keep dancing around in my head. As we are continuing to be witness to the collapse of the world as we have known it, these are important words to remember.

Love does not come in our time.  Love comes in “God’s” time. We are not in charge of the unfolding of current events. Instead, we are witnesses and Love-bearers.

As witnesses our job is to watch, observe, and hold space for all the many faces of grief we will experience in the face of the death-throes of the patriarchy. As Love-bearers, we are meant to observe the unfolding from a place of non-judgment and detachment.

Love is universal. All are made by and for Love. Even (especially) those we perceive to be living a life contrary to Love. Jesus said “Love thy neighbor,” and “Pray for your enemies.”  Our neighbors are those we perceive to be like us. Our enemies – well, we know who they are. We are called to Love them – one and all.

I know, easier said than done. When we watch humans being cruel toward each other, treating one another with disrespect, acting as if some are deserving of liberties and others are not, it is hard.

When it is hard, we are called to pray for ourselves.  “Help me in my unbelief.” “Forgive them, they know not what they do.” “Into your hands I commend my spirit.”  “Teach me how to Love.”

All are wounded seeking to be free. Some know they are wounded and are seeking their own healing. Most aren’t even aware they’re wounded and are simply acting out of those wounds.

Love one another. Pray for each other’s healing.

And don’t interfere. It is said “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”  The same is true of humans. The difference between horses and humans is that humans can’t even be led. All we can do is our own work of being Love in the world and being that Love more fully. Sometimes, our presence awakens others to the Love within themselves, and to the invitation to knowing that Love. Sometimes our presence pisses people off. Neither is within our control. It’s not personal. It’s none of our business.

Each of our names are written on the palm of God’s hands. Our lives are written in Her book. If you are reading this, you are here simply for the purpose of Love. Be that Love and live from that Love and that is all you need to know.

Hold the line. The Love that you are is always on time.

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Guarding Our Power

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

I’m inviting you to join me in a purposeful, reflective pause. STOP and closely examine all the places in your life where your energy and power are being drawn from you:

  • Places where you say yes when you want to say no.
  • Situations where you do things out of a sense of duty or obligation.
  • Relationships in which you feel called to help or fix another.
  • Experiences where you can see what would be best and want to offer your expertise.
  • Friends and family, clients and strangers who seek guidance but who habitually disregard that guidance.
  • Situations in which you assume your guidance is wanted but in fact was never requested.
  • Those to whom you run at their first call of distress, hoping to help or take away that distress.
  • Experiences where you continually hope and wish for things to change, but they never do.
  • Those who want more from you than you can actually give.
  • Those who seek your listening ear but do nothing to heal or transform the situation about which they complain.

I’m inviting you into this reflection because you are not alone in this. I am woefully guilty of falling into the trap of co-dependency where I believe not only is it my job to help others, but believing I actually can.

We cannot help others who are unwilling or incapable of helping themselves.  We cannot help those who don’t believe they need help. Every time we try, a hole is drilled into our soul and a piece of our power is drawn out. That power, then is no longer available for us to access, as it is held in the others hand. I call this entanglement. There are certain relationships and experiences in which we become so entangled we may not even see how much of our power we’ve given away.

Contrary to the way in which we have been conditioned (women especially), our power is not meant for others. Instead, our power is meant to serve the purpose of our soul – to know and be Love in the world. This Love is not co-dependent, seeking to help or heal others. Instead, Love is meant to provide an example that others might follow. In witnessing the Love that we are, they may ask us how we came to know that Love. We may share with them the tools that helped us get there, but we cannot do the work for them. The danger with this Love is that it is magnetic and many are drawn to that Love – not to understand how to achieve that themselves, but to draw a bit of it from us. Do not let them.

The power of Love that we are is a precious thing. It is what feeds and sustains us. It is what allows others to be awakened and to seek out that Love for themselves. This is the Love that Jesus spoke of and the Love that changes the world. This Love is not for us to give, but for others to find within themselves. We may provide inspiration, but we are not the source.

For those who have uncovered this Love within themselves, we know how hard the journey is to know that Love more fully. The power of this Love is ours to protect. Protecting that Love requires a reprogramming from what we have been taught about what it means to Love. Love isn’t doing harm to ourselves to care for another. Love is not doing for another what they should be doing for themselves. Love does not intrude on the journey of another, but allows people the freedom to live their lives, learning their own lessons and making their own mistakes.

For me, protecting the power of Love begins with identifying those places in my life where that power is being drawn from me through co-dependent entanglements. Next, it is my job to STOP participating in that entanglement. This is no easy task due to the trigger response that is engrained in so many of us to want to help another’s distress. In order to stop this response, I have had to learn the signals in my body that let me know my co-dependency has been triggered. For me, it is a feeling in my solar plexus (gut) or on my left shoulder of energy being drawn from me. I literally feel as if I have to run to the individual expressing distress. Instead of running, I STOP. I repeat a silent mantra (“it’s their shit not mine”) and then I STAY PUT. I cannot express the strength it takes in me to stay put and not run after the distress.  And I am not perfect in this practice. I repeatedly fail and continually find myself in entanglements. But I’m learning and I’m improving. Every day, I’m a little better at guarding my power and taking back that which I have given away.

Love is a journey and a process, and the work is never done but in the heart of this work is a great treasure.  As we free ourselves from co-dependent behaviors, we have access to more of our own inner power and the Love that dwells within us. We have no idea the miracles that can come about when fully embodying that Love!

Love Waiting to Be Found

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

*an excerpt from my book, Choosing Love.

A man I know to be one of the kindest, most generous, faithful, and humble human beings, posted a horribly negative comment against our incoming government officials who are of the Muslim faith.  I joined my daughter in righteous anger over his comments.  How could someone who claims to be a devout Christian, and otherwise a good, kind, and generous man believe such horrible things of our Muslim brothers and sisters?  I was angry, but beyond the anger, I felt horribly sad.  How could this man, for whom I otherwise have the utmost respect, believe that his hatred and fear of Muslims is any way shape or form consistent with Jesus’ teachings?  I wanted to step in and ask him if he had read the story of The Good Samaritan (Luke 10: 25-37) – a story Jesus used to teach us that often the kindest and most “Godly” acts are performed by those who are not of our “tribe” or “belief system.”  I also wanted to quote the story of the Syrophoenician woman (Mark 7: 24-30) who was instrumental in converting Jesus of his own beliefs – who through her persistence and insistence convinced Jesus that he was here for the whole world – not just the tribes of Israel.  I refrained from commenting, but I still found myself troubled. So I brought this quandary to prayer.

This is when my compassion stepped in.  My friend, in his fear and hatred of Muslims is simply believing what he has been taught by the version of Christianity to which he subscribes – a version cloaked in the same fear of “the other” that he already carried in his mind.  To me, this is very sad.  And yet, this man, like every single human being walking this planet, is a vessel of Love just waiting to be found.  Quite simply, he hasn’t yet found the fullness of his Love – the Love he already is and was made to be, but which is currently hidden beneath a curtain of fear.  He freely and generously loves those who believe as he does and in his working profession, generously loves those in need of his service.  But, because he doesn’t yet know the fullness of the Love that he is and he hasn’t yet discovered the fullness of Divine love, he is not yet able to love every human being in the way that God does.  Here he is bearing out Jesus’ most profound and simplest teaching:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.”  Mark 12: 30-31

This scripture has most often been interpreted as a commandment, but it could just as easily be taken as an observation of what is true.  We are only capable of loving our neighbor to the extent that we love ourselves.  Put another way, the degree to which we can love other human beings is proportionate to the degree to which we believe in God’s love for us, and the degree to which we are able to love ourselves as God loves us.  This is a plain and simple human truth.  My friend is unable to love his Muslim brothers and sisters because for some reason he does not yet comprehend the vast and unconditional nature of God’s love and in this, is also unable to unconditionally love himself.  He still has more love in him waiting to be found.

The same is true of all of us.  Each one of us is Love waiting to be found.  And every one of us is somewhere along the continuum of finding and then living from that love. Our actions on this human plane reflect the degree to which we know the love that we are. 

This brings me to the topic of evil.  In the human experience we witness a whole lot of what we are tempted to judge as evil.  Evil, we have been taught, is the antithesis of love and something to fear and work toward eradicating. We are taught that God judges us according to our evil and that we are then punished accordingly.  This is not what Jesus taught – but it is how fearful men have interpreted Jesus’ teachings and used this interpretation to gain an advantage.   The issue is ultimately one of translation. 

Evil does not mean the same thing as the word Jesus used that has been translated into “evil.”  The Aramaic word Jesus used was bisha (Neil Douglas Klotz, Prayers of the Cosmos).  Bisha is an agricultural word which simply means unripe.  When Jesus uses the word “evil” in scripture, he is simply observing the unripe nature of the person committing said-evil.  There is no judgment here, only a direct observation of the actions arising out of one who has not yet ripened in love. 

When we have not uncovered the fullness of our Love, then we act from limited and fearful states.  In God’s eyes, we are not “evil” in the way that we understand this word in our English language – we are unripe – our fruit is immature.  I like to think of it this way – when we walk up to an apple tree and see that the apples are not yet ripe, we don’t shake our fist in condemnation over the unripe apples.  We simply wait until apples are ripe. 

The same is true of God.  God is watching all of us, patiently waiting for us to come into our own ripeness and loving us through every stage of our own personal process.  We are all Love waiting to be found and God is waiting along with us – excitedly and with anticipation – the same way we anxiously and excitedly wait for our own children to reveal who they truly are. 

We are all love waiting to be found and the Divine is here loving us into knowing the fullness of this love.  It is up to us to say yes.  We say yes every time we are willing to receive healing for the fears and unhealed wounds that otherwise hide our love. In the end, this is my prayer for my friend – that he finds healing for the fears within him that are limiting his ability to know and live from the fullness of the Love that I already see glowing within him.

Choosing Love is a collection of fifty-two spiritual lessons and practices for personal and global transformation. These lessons and practices invite you to shake off the cloak of cultural conditioning and discover the freedom of the LOVE hidden within. Here there is no God to appease, no outside perceived authority whose approval needs to be earned, and nothing that can keep you from being and living as your most authentic self. LOVE is who you are. Choose that LOVE.

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Being Love in a Divided World

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

We live in a divided world. Divided by gender, sexual orientation, race, nationality, religion, and politics – to name a few. When viewed as sacred differences that make each of us uniquely special, these differences serve us. When treated as something to be judged or feared, these divisions cause us harm, leading to prejudice, hatred, violence, and war.

Our differences are meant to be our gifts, instead humanity has turned them into the cause of hate. Hatred, however, is a choice. We can continue to choose hate, which leads to the devolution of humanity, and our eventual extinction; or we can choose Love and be witness to and participants in the grand evolution of human consciousness which would lead to all kinds of miracles – the likes of which we can hardly begin to imagine.

I choose Love.

Choosing Love, however, is no simple task. In fact, it has taken me a lifetime to even come close to being the Love that I truly want to be in the world. My version of Being Love is by no means perfect. There are people I continue to despise. There are experiences and situations that hurl me into a rage. There are times I want to say or do the unkind thing. I’m still human after all.  I don’t, however, act on the surface feelings of my unhealed wounds, neither do I purposefully cause harm. Choosing Love is a moment by moment task.

Choosing Love is also a lifetime process. This process begins by learning to identify every obstacle in front of, and within us, to love. Then we are invited to enter into the arduous task of clearing those obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are the result of human conditioning – the ways in which we were taught to be and act in our family systems, our communities, our culture, our society, our world. Sometimes identifying our conditioning is simple and the choice to move past that conditioning is easy. Other times, it can be quite complicated as our conditioning is often subtle, even unconscious.

Beyond conditioning, the obstacles to love are all the places within us where we have been wounded. These wounds include times were felt betrayed, where our needs were ignored or denied, where we were criticized or condemned for who we are, where we felt unloved or were treated in non-loving ways. These wounds include past abuse, rejection, and times our love was met with hate. These unhealed wounds are, in turn, the cause of our own non-loving behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs.

Division is a choice.  So too is Love. Choosing Love begins by choosing Love for ourselves, and doing to the deep and challenging work of healing the inner obstacles to knowing and being that Love. As we transform ourselves, we are more free to be Love and being that Love plants the seeds of inspiration for others to do the same. When we are faced with Division, Choose Love. When challenged by hate, choose Love. When our unhealed wounds are triggered by the unhealed wounds of another, choose the loving thing and heal our wounds.

As our world appears to be increasingly divided, we can choose to participate in that division, or we can choose to Be Love.

I choose Love.

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She Abides

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Several years ago, my youngest sister gifted me with a large wall-handing made of weathered wood and carved with a feather and the word abide. I had a sense of what abide meant, but I wanted to be sure, so I looked up the meaning. Merriam-Webster provided me with several options:

a: to bear patiently : tolerate

b: to endure without yielding : withstand

c: to wait for : await

Today, I find myself again reflecting on the word abide and it perfectly describes where I find myself at this stage of my personal journey, especially in relationship to the outside world.

Today, I abide. I sit in quiet observation of the unfolding of humanity’s journey – knowing there is nothing I can do to change that which I find intolerable – things like hatred, division, and all the various isms. I endure the horrors I watch unfolding while refusing to yield my inner peace to things outside of my control and turning to my inner practice when the violence and hatred becomes too much for my sensitive nature.  I wait in hope that this time, humanity will get it right, while knowing they may not, and preparing myself for the worst.

Being able to abide requires a certain measure of inner strength and wisdom. Wisdom wrought through years of seeking and failing to facilitate change in the tide of humanity’s fate. Strength gained through the multitude of rejections I have faced along the way. Humanity doesn’t care much for change-makers. The institutions who benefit from the status quo, welcome change-makers even less.

Abiding doesn’t mean I’m giving up my visionary gifts or the impulse to support the healing and transformation of humanity. Abiding simply recognizes that now may not be the time.

So, I wait. I wait and watch. I hold on to hope without clinging to expectations. I have stepped aside, providing space in which humanity can walk its journey without interference or distractions. I abide in the contentment and peace I have so diligently cultivated awaiting the moment my gifts might be welcome, knowing they may never be. I abide in the reminder that the only one I can save is myself while providing an example that others may one day choose for themselves – and that the choice is up to them.

Going to Ground

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Monday morning, I posted my ballot for the United States’ 2024 presidential election. As I handed my ballot to the postal worker, I heard, as a distinct command:

“Your work is done here.”

Indeed. It feels as such. I have spent the past almost sixty years sowing seeds of love, speaking truth to power, and shining a light on all that is not of love in our world. Whether I wanted to or not, I have been a beacon of light – revealing truth and unveiling falsehood. Whether by my words, my actions, or simply my presence, I have been like an acupuncture needle, inserting love so that what is not of love might be released from our world. My presence has been welcome by many and a bane to some – especially to those who are either living a lie, or who benefit from a system rooted in fear, power, and control.

I say none of this from a place of vanity or pride. Being love in a world that wants to hate is a thankless and difficult job. Rejection comes aplenty and in a capitalistic world – certain financial struggle. When part of your mission (I didn’t ask for this!) is to be a catalyst for the collapse of systems sustained by greed, hatred, division, power, etc., you are woefully unable to live in or by the rule of said-systems. The vehicles of deception and manipulation through which wealth is amassed are not available to me – I couldn’t deceive or manipulate if I tried – and I wouldn’t want to.

But here I’ve been dutifully showing up day after day after day for ALL OF IT – casting seeds of love – all while watching humanity not learn a single thing. If anything, the divide has become greater and the violence, greed, and hatred more acute. Humanity has lost its compassion (if it ever had any).  Rather, those lacking in compassion have grown louder and more apparent while those of us who have been trying to sow compassion have grown weary.

We’ve done all we can. Now, humanity has to decide – will it choose compassion and love or will it continue to choose division and fear?

As of today, humanity has not made its choice. But I have. I choose love and will continue to choose love. I’ve done all I can to plant those seeds and to be a presence through which love is made real in our world. Especially as it relates to the current decisions upon which rests humanity’s fate – I’ve done all I can do.

I have no more words to offer that might encourage one to make the choice for love instead of fear. As such, I’m going to ground. As the world works out its fate, I will be safely tucked away in a sanctuary of my own making. One of three-foot thick earthen walls invisible and impenetrable to those who have not been invited. To those who have, the coffee is always on, I have snuggle blankets aplenty, and a comfortable place for you to rest your weary soul. Perhaps after humanity has decided its fate, the world will welcome our presence and yearn to hear our wisdom and we will rise again like the seventeen-year cicada ready to share our songs of love with the world. In the meantime, we tuck ourselves safely away as we wait and watch.

This is Our Fate

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

For the past five days I have been trying to put into words the collective horror over last Thursday’s presidential debate. First, I had to be present to my body as it processed the empathic reaction to collective trauma – manifesting in my body as vertigo, headaches, and deep profound fatigue. Panic also paid me a visit. Then I had to navigate the tangled forest of illusions and projections, pulling back from my own temptation to point fingers, name-call, and cast blame. Finally, I had to pull away the veil of distractions that wanted to draw me into political analysis. Only after all of this was I able to arrive at what is truly happening at the root of the hatred, chaos, and separation we are witnessing from outside ourselves so that my words might help support us with a way forward, and if not a way forward – at least a way through.

To put it simply, the presidential debate and our reactions to it have nothing to do with Donald Trump, Joe Biden, or the future of our nation. Instead, the debate and the presidential election is simply a reflection of America’s fate and by association, the fate of all of humanity. In other words, in perfect clarity, the debate showed us that unless we, as a collective, make some clear and drastic changes, we are wholly and completely f*cked!

We are f*cked, not because of who might be president, but because of all the fear, separation, selfishness, greed, bigotry, and hatred that has brought us to this place – all of which is self-created. We have done this to ourselves. Out of our own unacknowledged fears and unhealed trauma, we have created separation where separation need not exist. We have privileged ourselves over others. We have taken more than we needed while depriving others of the very things they need to survive. We have cast dispersions on our fellow-humans simply because we perceive them to be different. We have created hatred of others based on skin color, gender, sexual orientation, race, nationality, religion, body shape and size, and every other way we have chosen to discriminate against others. We have destroyed our environment for the sake of greed. We judge others for their education or lack thereof. We despise others simply out of jealousy. We want what we don’t have and despise what we do. We take from others. We kill to get what we want. We wage war on other nations, or even within our own nation, simply because we want what we perceive others to have. We destroy entire races of people simply because we can.

Humanity has done a really shitty job of being human. Now, it seems, we’re getting what we deserve. Everything we despise in “the other” is a reflection of what is unhealed within ourselves and the Universe will continue to bring this hatred and separation before us until we figure our shit out. At one time it was hatred toward the Jews. Then it was hatred toward Muslims. Then it was hatred of Arabs. Then it was hatred of blacks. Then it was hatred of Mexicans. Then it was hatred toward the poor. Then it was hatred toward women. Then it was hatred toward homosexuals. Then it was hatred toward transgendered humans. Then it was hatred toward Republicans. Then it was hatred toward Democrats. Then it was hatred toward conservatives. Then it was hatred toward liberals.

“Fear. Separation. Hate.  Fear. Separation. Hate.”  This is the mantra humanity seems to live by. Until we heal this fear and its resulting separation, we will never truly be free, and we will never know the peace and safety we all desperately long for. To heal this fear, separation, and hatred, we have to turn our gaze inward and away from all the projected blame outside of us. We have to stop blaming and fearing others and look deeply at ourselves. We have to learn to sit with our fears and be present to our discomfort. We have to be courageously honest with ourselves – our own hatreds – and examine their cause. In what ways have we suffered disappointment and pain? How have we been the recipient of another’s unhealed wounds? In what ways have we forgotten that we are Love? Then we have to get really intimate with these wounds (seeking help and support where needed) within ourselves and in doing so, allowing them to find healing. Only in doing the deep work of healing ourselves and encouraging and supporting others in doing the same can we ever hope to experience peace in our world. Until that time, we will continue to suffer the consequences of our own unhealed wounds.

This is our fate. We have done this to ourselves. Collectively we have the power to undo it, but we may be running out of time. As such it is urgent that we stop projecting blame outward and start taking a look at ourselves. This alone is where our power resides – not in any of the distractions outside of us which are simply reminders of the inner work we still have left to do. Yes, we have the power to change our world, but first it starts with ourselves.

The Journey of Healing Ourselves

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Returning to Mundane

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…..there was an author who dared to suggest that at the end of our spiritual journey, is a return to the mundane. This author is Richard Bach and the books is Illusions – the Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah. In this story, Donald, a messiah, quits his messiah business and becomes a pilot. He then travels the wilds, giving people rides in his three-passenger plane. As the story demonstrates, being a messiah is a tricky, stressful business that has even been shown to get people killed. This, among other reasons, is why Donald quits his spiritual business and returns to the everyday, mundane world.

I first read this book in my twenties, and several times more in my thirties (it’s a short book and can be read in a day). I got the moral of the story then, but as I’m approaching sixty, I relate to this story even more. Not because I consider myself a messiah (one sometimes suffering with a messiah complex maybe), but because I now understand that after we have completed our spiritual journey (it’s never really complete – but we do eventually arrive at a place of “enough”), life takes on a whole different feeling and flavor.

In technical terms, the spiritual journey, as it has been articulated by the ancient mystics, is comprised of four stages – spirit entering form, awakening and ascension, the great descent, and then ending in spirit leaving form and returning to source – Death. Each tradition gives these stages their own names, but the general descriptions are much the same.

Western pop-culture spirituality gives a lot of attention to the awakening/ascension stage of the journey, so with this you may be familiar. The great descent, however, is most often ignored as it is rife with challenge, struggle, ego-death, and suffering. It is the stage of the journey where after finding union with Source/God, we are plunged into the depths of our own inner hell – made up of our unhealed wounds, past traumas, spiritual fears, cultural conditioning, ego-attachments and more.  This is a hell made up of all those things within us that have forgotten our original nature as Love resulting in non-loving beliefs or behaviors about ourselves or others. It is here where we must come face to face (for example) with all our desires to be famous, rich, powerful, desirable, admired, respected, special, and needed rear their ugly face. This is also where we must confront every single lie we’ve been told and illusion we’ve created about life needing to have meaning and purpose in a way that is tangible, visible, and seen. Finally, during this descent, every illusion and need for control will be pried from the grip of our cold, dead, fingers.

There’s a reason few speak of this stage of our spiritual journey. Having been thrown into this stage somewhere around the year 2000, I know it well and can say not one single person chooses descent to make up nearly thirty years of their life!  I am also here to attest that the descent does eventually come to an end of sorts. Perhaps there are still ego attachments to confront, and pain still to be endured, but with these we have become familiar and accustomed and now we have tools for moving through these subtle layers of deepening in the important journey of ego-death.

The great descent frees us from all which imprisons us in insecurity, fear, ego-attachment, etc. While being freed, our truest nature of Love in Union with Source is increasingly liberated. Each moment we give to this transformation, we come to more and more fully live as Love, embracing all we are as Love (including our humanness) while finding the simple joy of being in the human experience. Here we are no longer bothered by life’s pursuit of meaning or purpose. Neither are we plagued by our imperfections. We are now able to return to the innocence we knew as children when we could simply enjoy the wonder of discovery, curiosity, and unbothered play. (YES, I know not every child’s childhood was great, but there was an innocence there among the pain.)

It is at this stage of our spiritual journey where many-a-messiah leave behind their work of saving the world and get on with simply living, which for those like the character in Illusions means returning to the mundane.

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