or living in a different dimension!

For many years I’ve suspected I might be invisible – or at least partly so. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I can name at least a hundred specific instances where I am certain that I’m not being seen, and perhaps a thousand where my words are not being heard.

I remember a specific time in graduate school, for example, where I was in a room of fifty students, along with several professors and the president of the university. It was a “town hall meeting” where we were having an open discussion about the recent change in ownership, leadership, and curriculum in the program in which I was enrolled. I remember standing up to share my specific thoughts on this dramatic transition and I literally saw my words go up into the air and land in the middle of the room while those leading the meeting looked at me with blank stares. It was as if they didn’t hear a word said and couldn’t comprehend that I had spoken. I looked to my left and right to the students around me who were nodding in agreement and support with what I had said.

They heard me, but those enmeshed in the system could not.

Another example of my apparent invisibility (not really invisibility per se, more proof that at times I’m operating in a whole different plane than those around me) happened while driving in a snowstorm with my kid to my brother’s wedding. We decided to stop for a coffee on the way and as we pulled into the turn lane, a car that had been in front of us, was suddenly beside us waving and screaming at us. They were acting as if we had hit them, or had almost hit them, but we hadn’t. The only way I can explain what happened is that we drove through a portal in time that catapulted us from behind to beside the car, causing them great confusion and upset.

What inspired this post is a third proof of my invisibility, one that happened just this morning. A few months back I had submitted a proposal to present at a local writer’s conference. This morning I received their response:

I’m sorry but your proposal did not make the cut. Individuals reasons varied but if I had to give an across-the-board a tip for next year, it would be to focus on the craft/technique of writing, as opposed to marketing/branding/social media.

My proposal had NOTHING to do with social media, marketing, or branding. Instead, it specifically addressed the craft/technique of character development using a specific and unique tool from the field of transpersonal psychology.  Among my words that specifically addressed the craft of writing:

…supports fiction writers in creating authentically complex characterization while assisting them in navigating the unique features within each character’s storyline…

It seems the conference committee completely missed the point of my proposal. There was not a single word related to marketing, branding or social media, and everything relating to the craft of writing.

All I can do is shake my head in befuddlement. One among a million examples of proof that I am invisible and that only those operating on a similar plane as I can hear or comprehend my words. It’s no wonder I choose to remain in my cave and apart from the world to whom I don’t exist. I do, however, find comfort in knowing I’m not alone in this.  As Jesus once said, “for those who have ears to hear and eyes to see.”  Those who need to see and hear me do. The rest, I guess, are not mine to serve.

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