shadow work

The Collective Shadow of the US

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

On Wednesday, January 7, 2026, around 9:30 in the morning, Renee Nicole Good of Minneapolis was murdered by an ICE agent, shot in the face when she refused to comply with his unlawful order. The murder took place in the residential area of East 34th Street and South Portland Avenue in the Powderhorn Park neighborhood. Minneapolis, and all the world with them are mourning this tragedy and angered at the gross miscarriage of justice that would allow a mostly untrained officer to execute a mother of three without cause.

As the story continues to unfold, the whole world is watching and wondering, will this finally be the tipping point the United States needs to get out from under this reign of terror?

Sadly, I suspect not. If those in positions of perceived authority haven’t acted yet, I doubt the killing of an innocent white woman will motivate them to do anything now. Not because our so-called elected officials are evil (though some, including me, might argue this point), but because they, and the system they continue to support, are simply a reflection of the collective unacknowledged, and therefore unhealed shadow of this nation.

The ICE agent, yet to be named as of this writing, who murdered Renee Nicole Good, is like the characterization of most ICE agents: an angry, racist, possibly sexist, white man who is projecting his own fears and insecurities on those he has been told, and believes, are the cause of his suffering. Apparently women are included among those he hates. Or, woefully untrained in how to manage conflict or how to de-escalate a crisis, reacted out of panic or fear in shooting the mother of three who refused to comply with his unlawful requests.

Or maybe he shot her simply because she had the courage to say no.

We may never know what drove the ICE agent to kill Renee Good, but we can guess at the knee-jerk reaction that would incite anyone to even draw a gun.

The ICE agent reflects our shadow. He IS our shadow.

As I’ve said before, the United States was firmly established in misogyny and racism. Whereas policies have been implemented and laws passed that give us the illusion of freedom and equality, as any woman or person of color will tell you, we are not truly free. Neither are we treated equally under the law. In order for the United States to heal and become the dream it has presented to the world, it first has to acknowledge this truth, along with all the other truths the US does not want to admit. As Hasan Piker stated in a recent podcast, “The United States is the biggest terrorist of all time.”  He’s not wrong. Terror from the inside and terror on the outside. And until we address these difficult truths, we will never heal, and nothing will ever change.

Rest in peace Renee Nicole Good and may justice one day be served.

Bearing the Magdalene Wound

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

The Crucifixions of the Magdalene: Jesus was lucky, he only had to be crucified once.  Mary Magdalene, on the other hand, was crucified more times than we could ever count.  She was crucified first for being born a woman.  She was crucified again by whatever it was in her life that caused her to need to be healed of “seven demons.”  She was crucified as she walked with her Beloved to his death and then watched as he was nailed to the cross and as he suffered the agonizing death by crucifixion.  She was crucified again when she and her companions took Jesus’ bleeding, broken and beaten body off the cross and laid it in the tomb.  She was crucified again as the stone was rolled over the opening of the tomb and she said her final goodbyes.  Again she was crucified when Jesus appeared to her on Easter morning and then just as quickly disappeared from her sight.  Again as she went to tell the male disciples and they did not believe her.  Again and again and again as Jesus appeared to her in prayer imparting secret teachings and every time disappearing from her sight.  Again as she was asked by the male disciples to share what Jesus had taught her and who then rejected her teachings along with the love Jesus had for her.  Again as she was apparently no longer welcome by the Jerusalem community of disciples and left to fend for herself.  Again and again and again as she made her way in the world carrying the burden of all these crucifixions in her heart, along with the new and fresh crucifixions everytime her mission of love was rejected.  And then…..the millions of countless crucifixions that have happened since her death anytime an individual or the Church ignored her role in Jesus’ life and ministry, denied the calling Jesus gave to her, rejected her as prostitute, adulterous woman or whore, demoted the important initiatory process (healed of seven demons) she underwent as demonic possession, denied women’s rightful and necessary place within the mission of love, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.  The list is endless.

The Burden of Pain: This is the Magdalene Wound and one that is carried in some degree by all women being called forth to resurrect the Magdalene and reclaim her rightful place in the mission of love by taking on this mission ourselves.  As one who bears this wound, I must tell you that it is excruciating.  It is a burden I would not wish on another, and yet I know literally hundreds of women who share this burden with me on behalf of the Magdalene (with many not knowing or understanding the source of this excruciating pain) and who continue to feel the pain of crucifixion everytime the world cries out for the lost feminine.

Excruciating Longing: The Magdalene Wound is known by a longing that cannot be quenched.  It is a pain that has no relief.  It is the feeling of constantly beating one’s head against the wall seemingly getting nowhere.  It is the pain of constant rejection.  Of speaking and sharing truth and seeing it fall on deaf ears.  It is the painful longing of missing our beloved and finding nothing to take its place.  It is the knowledge of having been loved beyond measure, of being held in rapt adoration and worshipped for our gifts…and then having that love torn from our grasp.  It is the pain of knowing that literally millions of women throughout history have been subject to rejection, abuse, even killed simply because they were born a woman in a world where the masculine rules….knowing that at one time in the history of patriarchal culture, there was ONE MAN who honored women as equal, elevating them to positions equal with their male counterparts and who called all of humanity to do the same…and that the first action taken by those who had the opportunity to fulfill this man’s vision was to sell out the women in favor of the presiding cultural norm….and that this single act has kept women subservient for 2000+ years!  It is the constant and enduring pain of a world that is suffering and feeling the blows of this suffering in our own bodies, hearing the cries with our own ears, seeing it with our own eyes and knowing we possess the remedy to this suffering if only….someone…..anyone….would care to ask. I can’t speak for others, but I know for myself, the Magdalene Wound makes me weary…a bone crushing, soul splitting weariness longing for the world to be made free.  It is the same burden of truth that Jesus carried – a truth for which he was willing to die.

Our Cross to Bear: This is the Magdalene Wound and I’m sad to say I’m not sure there is a remedy to this wound.  It is the cross we have to bear as those who have been called to restore the Magdalene (and all women with her) to her rightful place in history and in our world.  I’m not sure we will see the fulfillment of this resurrection in our lifetime, but there are signs of its happening and it is not just about the plethora of research, writings and books that have been accomplished on behalf of the Magdalene.  It includes all ways in which women are finding their voice, speaking their truth and rediscovering their rightful place in world that 5000 years ago stole their power from them.  I am humbled and honored to be a part of this movement and grateful for the resources and tools that have come through me in support of the mission of love as Mary Magdalene had envisioned and embodied it.

The work of the Magdalene is not for the faint of heart. Saying yes to her call and embarking on her path will bring you to your knees. The Magdalene journey is first deeply personal – bringing you face to face with your shadow – all that is need of healing and all that desires to be transformed – freeing you from illusion so that only Love might remain.

Learn more about the Magdalene Training HERE

Calling All Warriors

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

As the RNC pulls out of Milwaukee, and the DNC moves toward penetrating Chicago, (puns intended), we find ourselves at a dangerous crossroads – all roads leading toward disaster.  At this crossroads we have an opportunity to make a deal with the devil, or find ourselves another way through this mess.

Indeed, we are staring the death of the republic in the face. Horrible to look at and yet we cannot look away!  This is an ending we have sadly brought upon ourselves.

As with the fall of Rome, we are facing an inevitable death – and die it will.  But unlike the Romans, we are being given a choice in the empire’s end.  We can allow ourselves to be destroyed by it – or rise above (or as I prefer – to burrow beneath).

Whether you are a “rise above” or a “burrow beneath” person, the formula is the same:

Be witness.

Hold center.

Be a tower/beacon of light (or darkness whatever the case may be).

Anchor love.

As a shadow worker, my job is to go to ground – to enter fully into the darkness that it may be transformed – darkness made of humanity’s fears and unhealed wounds.  Like a cicada, I dive deep into the detritus of humanity’s pain, wriggling and writhing until the pain has been released.  This I do safely in the shelter of my sanctuary that I call home.

Equally called to be a light bringer, I go about my day to day endeavors simply being me.  I have experienced that in my presence, either shadows are revealed, or others become more aware of their light.  Whatever the effects – the recoiling rejection brought forth by shadow’s emergence, or the welcome of light’s/love’s reflection – I’ve learned to hold it all.

Nothing is personal.

If any of this rambling speaks to you – you are one of the warriors to whom I’ve addressed this message. We’ve been given a difficult call – to witness to the end of the world (as we’ve known it), BUT we’ve also been given the wisdom, knowledge, and tools to endure.  Our task is this:

Endure and Survive.

Love-speed sisters and brothers, we are in this together.  Even if solitary – we are never alone!

Be witness.

Hold center.

Be a tower/beacon of light.

Anchor love.

It is all we came here to do.

With deep gratitude and love,

Lauri

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Goddess of Darkness?

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

A funny thing happened last week that completely and totally made my day. I was stopping at my favorite local coffee shop (the one I call my second home) for my 10 am emotional support coffee. There was a newish batch of baristas working and I asked to be reminded of our new family members’ names.  One of the newish baristas reminded me of his name.  I said thank you, and was about to re-introduce myself and he interrupted, “Oh I know you as Lauri, Goddess of Darkness.” My heart melted with the fire of pure joy for being seen and known for who I truly am. 

There’s a story about my name – as it relates to The New Moon Café and Coffee Shop. The owner and I are good friends and have known each other for close to twenty-five years. Since the first day the New Moon opened, I’ve been a devoted and regular customer.  One day, I happened upon the owner as he was bringing in bags of coffee beans to be roasted. (they roast their own coffee and as a coffee connoisseur, I can attest their coffee is THE BEST I’ve ever tasted – especially their dark roasts) Aaron (my brother from another mother) says,  “Lauri, check this out, I have a new fair-trade bean, from an all-woman cooperative.”  “Oh my god, that’s so cool,” I said.   Then jokingly, “You should do two roasts – a light roast and name it Goddess of Light and a dark roast and name it Goddess of Darkness.”  I returned a couple days later to a sign announcing the latest dark roast coffee – “Goddess of Darkness” – named for and by me. (I also only drink dark roast).  I LOVE MY NEW MOON FAMILY!

That’s the story of how a coffee got named, but in having an inside joke with me, Aaron unwrapped a deep and profound truth. As my life has continued to unfold, I find myself living more and more deeply into this name – Goddess of Darkness – so dark in fact, I may as well start calling myself Death.

As those who have worked with me professionally know, my greatest gifts lie in the shadows. I’m comfortable journeying with and supporting people through the darkest parts of life. Through the places that most are afraid to go. Death. Loss. Recovery from trauma, abuse, betrayal, heartbreak. I help people exhume that which has been buried/suppressed/repressed and assist them in bringing it to the light to be healed and transformed. I accompany people in the journey of facing their own shadow – the parts of themselves they’ve rejected, suppressed, ignored, freeing them from that which keeps them imprisoned by fear. I have sat with people through the most difficult places and parts of their journey, assuring them they are not alone, providing comfort and a place where they can be unburdened of all the pain they hold within themselves.

I am humbled and honored to be called into these intimate spaces with people – family, friends, and clients/students alike.  I personally find comfort in the darkness for it is within the darkness that we find our truest selves.

Not everyone is comfortable in this dark place – especially when that dark place is defined by Death. Death holds a special kind of intimacy that requires both strength and vulnerability. More and more often, I find myself called into the most unexpected places where Death presides. Whether accompanying dear friends through the death of a child, being one of the first ones called when an acquaintance suffers a medical emergency, being invited to create and preside over a stranger’s funeral, or being invited to be confidant to one moving through a terrifying medical diagnosis, I am there – and I’m honored to be there. Death, to me is perhaps the most sacred of all human experiences for in facing Death, we are given the opportunity to see the face of God/Love. There is nothing more tender or intimate than being with another human being who finds themselves at the threshold between life and death – whether it is the person who is dying, or those who are experiencing death through the journey of one they love. Death is a holy and sacred place and I’m grateful for whatever it is in me that allows me to sit with another in that space as a source of  – whatever they need. One time, what the bereaved needed from me was to weed their garden, because it was the one thing they couldn’t find the strength to do as they sat with a loved one in their final hours. I was there for that too.

So yeah, while “Goddess of Darkness” was initially a bit of a joke, this title has born itself out as true. I’m comfortable journeying with others through the darkest times of life – even/especially (it seems) when the darkness they are facing is Death itself, and I am humbled and honored to be there.

Order New Moon Coffee!

Order whole bean or ground New Moon original roast coffees by calling (920) 232-0976.

For dark roasts, I highly recommend the Goddess of Darkness or the South 605.

Tell them Lauri the Goddess of Darkness sent you. 😉

Beyond Ascension: Shadow Work

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

The farther we move along the path of our spiritual growth, the more our unhealed wounds, unacknowledged fears and ego-attachments rear their ugly heads.  These are the thought-forms, emotional reactions and behavior patterns that interfere with our ability to continue confidently on our path toward self-actualization.  Shadow work is the broad term that describes the spiritual practices that support us in healing and transforming these fears so that we are once again free to pursue the path of our highest good. 

Life Purpose

Our life’s purpose is to become self-actualized.  Through the process of self-actualization we are empowered to discover, nurture, cultivate and become empowered in our unique giftedness.  We are called to find meaning and purpose in our lives through the sharing of these gifts, for the sake of our own fulfillment, and in service to the betterment of the world.  Our soul is driven to pursue this path of self-actualization and it is through restlessness and longing that we are driven.

Spiritual Awakening

Somewhere around the time of our first Saturn return, we begin to awaken to the calling of our Soul, and again with renewed vigor at midlife.  We become dissatisfied with life as we know it, longing for something that is more fulfilling and which gives our life a sense of meaning and purpose.  We are awakened through restlessness, boredom, dissatisfaction, impatience and an insatiable yearning for that which we cannot yet describe.

Spiritual Growth

As we pursue this inner longing, we are led to resources and tools to support us in our spiritual growth.  In this process of spiritual growth, we seek to uncover the answer to three questions: 

Who am I?

Whose am I?

What are my gifts and how am I called to use them?

Spiritual Practices

It is through our spiritual practices that we find the answer to these questions.  Any activity that supports us in remembering peace, love and joy can be considered a spiritual practice when approached as such.  Meditation, prayer, mindfulness, contemplation, movement, rigorous physical exercise, being in nature, creative expression, the search for knowledge, our interpersonal relationships, and lovemaking can all be vehicles through which we come in contact with our Soul – our highest truth and the path toward self-actualization. It is also through these practices that we come in contact with our shadow.

The Shadow

The shadow is made up of our unacknowledged fears, ego- attachments and unhealed wounds.  It is within the shadow that we carry the pain of every rejection, criticism, condemnation, betrayal, disappointment, failure, loss, trauma, and every self-defense mechanism we ever built around this pain.  It is in the shadow where our fears reside, along with the part of us that seeks approval from or power over others.  It is also within the shadow that we carry our self-rejection – every experience or aspect of ourselves that has been set aside as imperfect, ugly, shameful, and condemnable.  The shadow contains all that we have hidden from ourselves and attempted to hide from the world.

What We Resist Persists

There is great wisdom in the Buddhist adage, “What we resist will persist.”  This is especially true of the shadow.  Ignoring our fears, unhealed wounds, ego- attachments and self-rejection allowed us the illusion of safety, or at the very least, control.  Safety and control, however, are simply illusions.  Ignoring our past hurts did not save us from future wounding.  In fact, ignoring those hurts likely caused us to become more vulnerable.  No matter how much we push these fears and unhealed wounds away, the more they tend to find their way out through passive aggressive behaviors, negative and disproportionate reactions, self-numbing and self-harming behaviors.  As we move along the path of our spiritual growth, we find that the more we try to resist what we placed in the shadows, the more it seeks to be known.

Shadow Work

This is where shadow work proves beneficial and ultimately empowering.  Shadow work is the courageous process of confronting the ghosts of our past and bringing them to the light.  Engaging in shadow work, we take the time to identify and be present to every fear, unhealed wound and ego-attachment that might try to hinder us on our path of spiritual growth.  We allow ourselves to be present to the hurt, the pain, the fear, the anger, and every emotion in between as we allow those “demons” to be healed and transformed.  As we allow ourselves to be present, we are freed from these fears and are empowered to continue in the way of our truth.

Beyond Ascension

3 live, online sessions

March 6, 13 and 20, 2024

Wednesdays 6:30 – 8:30 pm (Central Time)

LIVE via ZOOM

Learn more and enroll here.

Unleashing Your Light

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

We will never truly be free until we confront our shadow.  The shadow is all of the parts of ourselves that have not been fully integrated: 

  • Everything we have denied.
  • Everything we suppress.
  • Everything we repress.
  • All the parts of ourselves we judge as negative so we hide them away from the world.
  • Our unacknowledged fears.
  • Our unhealed wounds.
  • The parts of our nature, personality or temperament that we reject.
  • The parts of ourselves we hide as they are judged as unworthy by our society.

The challenge with the shadow is that (as the Buddhists say), “What we resist will persist.”  Hiding, ignoring, denying, imprisoning, bargaining away these parts of ourselves actually does the opposite.  Instead of staying hidden, these parts of ourselves come out sideways – often in non-loving behaviors toward ourselves or others. 

If we do not confront our shadow and do the difficult work of bringing it to the light so that it can be healed, transformed and re-integrated, then we will never be free.  Without doing our shadow work, we will be forever condemned to “a life of quiet desperation” and our lives will amount to nothing because until we are free we will never know peace.

But herein lays the challenge.  Few are willing to stand toe to toe with their own inner demons and even fewer have the courage to keep standing there until all their wounds are healed and they are truly free.  Instead, they would rather avoid the shadow work while chasing after shiny objects – the illusion of achievement, success, money, power, and fame.  In the meantime, their shadow is coming out sideways, hurting themselves and all the people around them.  In the end, what they resist will be their demise.

Courses for Unleashing Your Light

Featured Course: Into the Shadows

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

In this introduction to Gwyn Ap Nudd, King of the Tylwyth Teg (Fae) and Lord of the Underworld, you will come to understand his role as guardian of and guide through the shadows. We enter into the shadow so that we can do the critical work of healing our unhealed wounds, while rediscovering, reclaiming and reintegrating the pieces of ourselves we have rejected, repressed or suppressed. In order to become whole, shadow work is critical – though admittedly, not for the faint of heart. Gwyn helps to guide us through and supports us in this task.

In this course you will receive NINE Initiations and will be given specific tools, unique to the magic of Gwyn ap Nudd, to assist you in your journey of working through the shadows and claiming the wholeness that is your birthright – a wholeness that is both active and receptive, provisional and supportive, nurturing and empowering, expansive and protective. Gwyn ap Nudd assists you with it all!

Whether Gwyn calls to you personally, or if you are simply interested in learning more about and thereby befriending the underworld gods, as Gwyn has been known by many other names: Pan, Hades, Pluto, Cernunnos, The Horned God, and many others, this course is for you, Ultimately, Gwyn represents the part of ourselves that desires to be whole and which is willing to go into the depths to do so.

Lesson One – God under the Tor

Lesson Two – The Horned God

Lesson Three – Celestial Origins

Lesson Four – Gwyn’s Animal Totems

Lesson Five – Gwyn’s Labyrinth

Lesson Six – Carnal Knowledge

Lesson Seven – Chamber of Shadows

Lesson Eight – Gwyn’s Magic Book

Lesson Nine – Shamanic Initiation

A note from course creator, Lauri Ann Lumby, OM, OPM, MATS:

In late January into early February of 2008, over the feasts of Imbolc/Michaelmas and the Feast of St. Brigid, I made a pilgrimage to Glastonbury, England, otherwise known as Avalon. It was here that I was initiated as a priestess of Gwyn Ap Nudd – Celtic (specifically Welsh) Lord of the Underworld.

Being made priestess of Gwyn was not of my choosing, neither was I ordained by human hands. Instead, the initiation was presided over by Gwyn, himself – a god I had not previously known. Neither had I invited Gwyn into my presence. He simply stepped forth into my life, made himself known, and then led me into the world of my own shadow, a labyrinthine journey that seems to finally have come to some sort of closure, but only after many years of both profound bliss and excruciating struggle.

The journey into our shadow is never easy – but it always brings forth its reward – the reward being a more whole, fully integrated version of ourselves. From the perspective of modern-day psychology, it is only by journeying into our shadow that we have any hope of becoming self-actualized, knowing the fullness of our gifts, conscious of our human limitations, and able to live through them both freely and unencumbered, thereby enjoying a life of meaning, fulfillment and joy. Gwyn’s job, as I have learned, is to help us accomplish this task – if we allow him.

Learn more and enroll HERE

The Dangers of Spiritual Bypass

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Spiritual bypass can best be described as: “the tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks”

(Welwood, J. (2000) [1984]. “Between heaven and earth: principles of inner work”. Toward a psychology of awakening: Buddhism, psychotherapy, and the path of personal and spiritual transformation. Boston: Shambhala Publications. pp. 11–21.).

In spiritual bypass, we avoid, ignore, deny, suppress and repress the challenges, difficulties, disappointments, and suffering that are inherent within the human condition.  Spiritual bypass also includes avoidance and denial of the shadow.  The shadow is made up of our unhealed wounds, unacknowledged fears and includes all the aspects of ourselves that we have rejected because we have deemed them unacceptable. 

Spiritual bypass takes many forms, but in essence the action is the same – hoping, believing, acting as if we can simply meditate, pray, chant, or positively affirmation our struggles away.  The universal outcome of spiritual bypass is always the same and is best articulated in the Buddhist saying, “What we resist will persist.”  Through spiritual bypass, we are not dealing with, confronting, healing or transforming anything; we are simply sweeping it under the rug. As is true of everything we avoid, deny, ignore, the rug can only hold so much.  The rug will eventually explode and everything we have shoved under it will come out to haunt us.  Even if we are successful in keeping it all under the rug, what we have resisted and ignored will find its way out sideways – usually in non-loving behaviors toward ourselves or others. Often these behaviors become compulsive (ie: addictions), are disproportionate or uncharacteristic of our true nature.   

Some very clear examples of spiritual bypass and the negative consequence of this pattern of behavior includes: the clergy sex abuse crisis, narcissistic behaviors, abuse, co-dependency, homophobia, violence against children, school shootings and other forms of terrorism.  What we resist will persist and what we suppress will find its way out whether we want it to or not.  I would further suggest that we are currently living in a world seriously caught up in its own bypass – ignoring, denying, projecting away the darkness and pretending that it is all ok when in fact it is not!  Societal bypass is exhibited in our divisive culture where many refuse to see the truth that is staring them in the face because it makes them feel uncomfortable (triggering their own unacknowledged anxiety or unhealed fears), or who instead of acknowledging their role in darkness that exists in our society, either ignore it or project the blame onto someone else.  The bottom line is that we cannot meditate, mantra, pray, “beam love,” think good thoughts, repeat positive affirmations, “La La” the darkness away. Until we learn to face our darkness (individually and collectively) we are guilty of bypass and the darkness will not only persist, it will become worse. 

Now, I will wholeheartedly admit that I am not innocent as it relates to spiritual bypass.   I too have ventured down its path.  I will admit that it felt good there – for awhile – but eventually it kicked my ass! I have since learned that the only way out is through.  If we want to be free of our inner fears, unhealed wounds, and perceived imperfections, we have to go deep into them, feel them, wallow in them, and THEN through our spiritual practices, find our way through them.  In this, we are not covering the darkness with the light; neither are we turning the darkness into the light.  Instead, we are finding the light that is already present within the darkness – if only we have the courage to go there.

The work of dealing with our shadow and confronting all that is broken within us is hard!  It requires personal accountability, self-knowledge, courageous honesty, humility, vulnerability, and discipline.  It also requires the understanding and belief that in the overall scheme of things, what we are tempted to call “darkness” is in fact our light.  Within the struggle, suffering, struggles, challenges and all the things we want to deny or reject about our human experience is there to serve the light.  It is within these perceived challenges where we find our greatest gifts. 

Confronting Shadow

Both Overcoming Obstacles and our Enneagram Intensive support you in identifying and transforming your shadow. These courses are not about by-pass, they are about confronting, passing into, and through. Click on the images below to learn more.