The Things We Cling To

The journey toward self-actualization, enlightenment, individuation, and personal mastery (all words meaning essentially the same thing) is rough. In our western, capitalistic culture in which personal development has been commoditized, we’ve been told to expect unicorns and rainbows, when instead, we are faced with hellfire and brimstone. Personal mastery is not for the faint of heart. Neither is it for the weak. Instead, it requires persistence, discipline, and the willingness to confront and lay down every attachment and mask that hides us from our true selves.

Our true self is LOVE. Period.

Another way of describing the journey is the transformation of every single thing within us that has forgotten we are love. In doing so, we are simultaneously remembering how to love ourselves for all that we are – warts and all.

Self-actualization is not about perfection. Instead, it is about becoming increasingly aware of our human frailty and loving even that.

In coming to recognize, acknowledge, accept and love our imperfect perfection, we are invited to identify and release all the things we cling to that stand in the way of radical self-love. Much of what we cling to has been beaten into us by our culture. Some have surfaced out of past woundings. Many emerge out of trauma. Others we cling to simply because we are human. Here is my list of the things we cling to that are often the most difficult to release:

  • The desire to belong.
  • The need for approval from others.
  • The longing to be seen.
  • The yearning to be heard.
  • The need to be right.
  • The desire to know.
  • The need to be in control.
  • The yearning to be desired.
  • The habits, patterns, behaviors, status to which we have become familiar.
  • The illusion of success.
  • Conditioned beliefs about value and achievement.
  • Our health.
  • Life.

The truth of the human experience is that everything is temporary and nothing can be controlled. We are not here to make other people happy. Neither are we here to gain other people’s approval. Belonging is an illusion, and it is only the false self that needs to be seen, heard, or loved. Our value is not dependent on any one else’s definition or rules of measurement.

We have value, and are loved, simply because we are. When we remember the Love that we are, and release these attachments, only then are we free enough to love ourselves for all that we are, and to see that love in others – no matter how broken we or the other might appear.

Releasing the things we cling to most stubbornly brings us into the field of personal mastery. There might not be unicorns or rainbows here, but there is true and enduring freedom.


Tools for Releasing Attachments

Perfection vs. Wholeness

There exists a major flaw in the new age, self-improvement, enlightenment, and ascension industries:

The goal of human development is not perfection.

Instead, it is wholeness.

Wholeness means that we are content and grounded in ourselves “warts and all.” Whereas we may be ever-striving for personal growth, individuation, and self-actualization, we have moved beyond picking apart and shaming ourselves for the inherent imperfections of being human. While self-awareness and personal accountability provide evidence of psychological and emotional maturity, wholeness allows for the fact that mistakes will still occur and that our value is not diminished by those mistakes. Wholeness empowers us to understand that the mind is going to do what the mind is meant to do – which is to keep us safe, and that our thoughts alone have absolutely nothing to do with the events of our lives. We have gained the wisdom in acknowledging that life happens and that we are neither the creator nor the destroyer of our fate. When illness or tragedy strike, we allow ourselves time and space for grieving without the added burden of the shame-based beliefs that these were somehow our fault because of our thinking or punishment for something we did “wrong.”

Wholeness understands that life itself is neutral and free from judgment. Life is not out to get people. Neither does life choose favorites. Each human being is here for their own journey – a journey that really has nothing to do with our own. Wholeness leaves each to their own. This does not mean, however, that in wholeness we don’t judge, condemn, curse, or rage about the actions of another. This is simply us being human. Life doesn’t judge. Humans do.

Wholeness allows for the gritty aspects of our humanness. Whereas we may be actively pursuing a reduction in judgement (of self and others), a decrease in anxiety, a lessening of rage, a dwindling of jealousy, we recognize that we are not here to be perfect, we are here to be human.

As human beings, we are perfectly imperfect. So what if we rage on about the injustices in our world, or hold grudges against those who have harmed us? None of these means we have failed in our desire to ascend, grow in enlightenment, or become self-actualized. In fact, if we can forgive ourselves of our humanness, and take each “mistake” as a lesson, then we have successfully grown in wholeness.

Wholeness, not perfection is the purpose of the human journey. Isn’t it time we shake free of the burden of shame, including that which has been heaped upon us by a self-help industry wrapped up in its own illusions of perfection while denying people of the Love that they already are?


Enriching Your Practice

Click on the images below to learn more.

Energy Vampires, Succubae, and Witch Collectors

As I’ve been trying to figure out how to write on the topic of “authentic power,” I came upon this article that I first penned in 2019.  Then it was titled, “Beware of Witch Collectors.” I have since come to broaden this topic to include anyone who feeds off the power of those who are authentically gifted, because the one who feeds has no power of their own. It seems fitting to share this re-write here rather than to try to create something new as this does a great job of summing things up while providing the necessary cautions. Enjoy!

This one is for my sister-witches and brother-witches.  When I use the term “witch” I’m referring to the women and men I know who have harnessed the infinite power within themselves and who are using this power to support their own life mission of being in service to the betterment of our world.  These are people who are strong, independent, confident (albeit sometimes insecure – only because they have rarely been supported or affirmed in their gifts), intuitive, empathic, teachers, healers, leaders and behind the scene witches.  These are the ones who have been with us throughout eternity and who have been ridiculed, condemned, even killed for their magical gifts.  Fortunately we are no longer in the “burning times” but that doesn’t mean that today’s witches are free from danger.  In fact, the dangers we face today are even more subtle and insidious than the dangers we faced during the witch trials and the inquisition.  Today I wish to speak of one specific danger that faces all people of authentic power today – and that is of what I like to call Energy Vampires, Succubae, and Witch Collectors.”

Succubae are individuals who appear powerful, confident, strong, self-assured, perhaps even a bit arrogant.  They are often physically attractive and lure people in with their charm.  At first they seem sincere, trustworthy and of integrity, but it is all a ruse.  What they show to the world is an illusion for what hides behind the mask is an energy vampire – one who is not strong at all, but terribly insecure and lacking in inner power. 

Motivated by a deep sense of emptiness and vacancy, Energy Vampires and Witch Collectors are compelled to seek out and then draw in those of authentic power so they can suck them dry.  In the world of psychology, these people are often called narcissists, but in my experience, their “condition” moves far beyond that of a borderline personality disorder. Unlike narcissists, succubae desire more than power and control.  They literally feed on the life-force energy of those whose power is authentic and who they have drawn into their clutches.  The problem with this “relationship” is that the Witch Collector is never satisfied – can never be satisfied – as there is no amount of “witch power” that can fill a vacant hole.  They may feel temporary satisfaction from the energy they have drained, but the emptiness within an energy vampire/witch collector is like a black hole – infinitely empty and impossible to fill.  As long as the relationship continues between witch collector and witch, the witch collector will feed and the witch will feel drained –unable to harness the fullness of her power and to use that power for good.

Identifying a witch collector is tricky business, especially if you are one who is still nursing the wounds of the unholy masculine.  In a culture which has been ruled for the past 5000 years by the unholy masculine (fear, power and control), most of us harbor this wound.  As a result, we long to be seen, heard, acknowledged and supported in the use of our gifts.  When we find the rare individual who celebrates our gifts – who speaks our language – we are thrilled.  Titillated actually!  In our excitement, we are tempted to set aside our shield of caution and discernment gets tossed to the wind.  We enthusiastically enter into the web, blind to the true motivation of their seduction.  This is how seduction works, speaking to our insecurities, fears and unhealed wounds, which then causes us to put down our guard.  Then the “witch hunter” moves in for the “kill.” 

But there is hope. We are not defenseless in the face of energy vampires, succubae or witch collectors. The first step is recognition – looking for and seeking out those in our lives who are parasites.  Once we identify them, they no longer have power over us.  Say NO to their seductions and their ministrations.  STOP being the host for their insatiable desire for power.  Remember that in truth, they HAVE NO POWER.  We are the ones with the power and it is our power they seek to possess.  See them.  Say no to them.  Cut them off from their food-source.  And then watch them slink away.  This is what I have found in my own experience with witch collectors – once they know they are being seen for who they truly are, once we refuse to let them take our power, once we say NO to their seductions, they simply go off in search of their next victim.

Addendum: An important note as it relates to succubae, etc. is the matter of power. In this world, there are two kinds of power. The one in which we are most familiar is the power that is wielded by the system.  This is power-over. One seeking to have power over another. This is power that is distorted and (dare I say) evil.  This kind of power is gained through manipulation, most commonly using shame, guilt, threats and triggering one’s insecurities and fears for the purposes of gain. Institutions use this. Governments use this. Corporations use this. The advertising industry is defined by this kind of power. Despots and dictators thrive on this kind of insidious power, as do individuals. Many so-called healers, teachers, shamans, etc. use these kinds of manipulations to gain clients, wealth, and fame. This kind of power is false and ultimately temporary. This kind of power does not satisfy.  It only leaves the wielder of it constantly wanting more.

Authentic power is something else entirely. Authentic power springs naturally and without effort from one who is in union with Source (that which some might call “God”) and living in harmony with Source guidance. We are all born with authentic power, but our life experiences often limit our access to that power via the woundings and traumas we experience in the human condition. As we do the inner work of healing those traumas, our authentic power becomes more accessible. It is out of this power that our Divine gifts emerge, and it is our connection to this power that allows us to humbly allow Source to live through us. When living from authentic power, we are naturally and effortlessly guided to where we need to be, and what we are being called to do. We find ourselves grounded in ourselves, content in who we are, and at peace with what life brings to us. Those who would benefit from the gifts we share are naturally drawn to us and find us without any effort on our part. When grounded in authentic power, we are also able to see more clearly those who are not interested in growing or healing through the sharing of our gifts, but who instead seek only to feed off us. When in authentic power, from these we are able to simply walk away.


Accessing our Authentic Power begins with identifying and healing the wounds and traumas that are blocking that power. Our training programs help support you in that transformation. Click on the images to learn more.

Spiritual Appropriation and White Privilege

Today I write with a question for our community. It is a question about which I welcome and invite your response. The question is about spiritual appropriation and white (colonizer) privilege. When seeking definitions related to this topic, I found Google to be the most succinct:

Cultural appropriation is the adoption of elements from a minority culture by a dominant culture in a way that is disrespectful, exploitative, or that strips the cultural element of its original meaning. A key factor in identifying appropriation is the power imbalance between the dominant and minority cultures, where the dominant group benefits from something that the marginalized group may be mocked or punished for. 

Key Characteristics

  • Power Imbalance: 

The act often occurs when a dominant culture borrows from a marginalized or minority culture, leveraging its power to gain benefits from the culture it is borrowing from. 

  • Disrespect and Exploitation: 

Elements are taken without understanding their significance, which can strip them of their original meaning or turn them into a stereotype. 

  • Lack of Credit or Compensation: 

The dominant group may profit from or receive credit for cultural elements, without acknowledging their source or providing compensation to the marginalized group. 

  • Reinforcing Oppression: 

The act can reinforce harmful stereotypes or contribute to the oppression of the marginalized group. 

I have seen examples of this throughout my spiritual journey – from people of white, European descent taking on rituals and practices of indigenous people or adopting devotional practices that originated in West Africa and arrived here through slave-trade. I have admittedly been somewhat guilty of this myself as my spiritual journey guided me toward teachers and scriptures, rituals and practice that are not of my own Catholic, Western European ancestry.

Appropriation becomes a difficult question, especially for descendants of colonizers who in the melting pot of the United States, Australia, New Zealand, and Canada, find ourselves in cultures without a culture. In the journey of trying to find ourselves, we are also looking for what defines us and speaks to us as a culture. In this exploration, it is natural to seek outside the (mostly Christian) traditions that were handed down to us through our ancestry.

But in exploring these non-white, non-Christian traditions, beliefs, and practice, when does it become appropriation?

In responding to this question, I can only speak for myself, and the answer comes several-fold:

  1. The first part of my response is in the fact that in every “other” tradition/practice I have explored, I was always brought back to what I already know and which I can authentically claim as part of my own ancestry. In exploring, I have found truths and teachings that mirror and deepen what I have learned through my own Catholic/Christian contemplative practices. Through Eastern wisdom literature, for example, my adherence to Jesus’ teachings on oneness, love, etc. has only become more sure.
  2. Fact: the Catholic Church is one of the first and worst colonizers of indigenous people.  Catholic rituals have their roots in Judaism, Hellenism, the Roman culture, and the existing pre-Christian communities of the Mediterranean basin, and Western Europe. In its march west and north, the Catholic Church gobbled up (appropriated) the traditions and practices of the people they sought to subjugate. As my Celtic/Irish ancestors were one of those most targeted, I feel entitled to reclaiming these rituals and practices for myself without apology. If the frame drum (bodhran) and Irish female Shamanism is a part of my ancestry, then I feel it is not only my right, but my duty, to reclaim it.
  3. If, in the context of my professional work, I find myself sharing a practice or ritual from a culture outside my own (which is rare), I give credit along with the name of those from whom I learned the practice and/or was given permission to share.
  4. I really, really, really try to stay in my own lane. Hence, the use of primarily Judeo-Christian contemplative practices, Judeo-Christian scripture (canonical and otherwise), and Judeo-Christian or Irish ritual practices. If it’s not from my ancestors, or the tradition in which I was raised, I don’t feel I have a right to it.
  5. Now, there are two roads for me where walking the fine line of spiritual appropriation as a person of white European ancestry gets a little tricky.  Yoga and Pre-Christian/Jewish mysticism (ie: the Kabbalah).  I practice yoga. I have studied Vedic teachings and thought. I have been trained in chakra theory. I participate in Vedic chant and kirtan. From original source material, I have been a devoted student of Kabbalah and have utilized both the Practical and Mystical Kabbalah for my own spiritual development. I, unfortunately, have not had access to the guidance of a Rabbinical teacher of Kabbalah. Neither have I studied under the guidance of an Indian Vedic guru. These latter two points are probably a good thing as I could never become so arrogant in either field as to claim expertise. As I openly say to my students and friends who have explored these topics with me, “I don’t even know enough to get myself in trouble

Again, I bring this topic forward for community discussion and exploration. For me, I think the line between spiritual appreciation and spiritual appropriation lays in questions of ancestry and use. For me, ancestry is clear. Use is maybe a little less clear. Am I financially benefiting from something I learned from another culture? Maybe. Sometimes. Am I giving proper credit to the origin of what I share?  Hopefully always!  Am I causing harm to the originating culture in the sharing and use of these practices?  I sure hope not.

As a person of white, European, colonizer ancestry, I feel it is critically important that we ask ourselves these questions. I will also admit the answers are sometimes unclear and we might make mistakes along the way.

I welcome your thoughts and reflections on this topic! 

Thank you!

With love,

Lauri

The Secular Modern Monastic

Well, I had planned on presenting this topic in my own words, but as it turns out, Google did a much better job:

A secular modern monastic is a person who lives a life of discipline, prayer, and service within the secular world, without adhering to traditional religious rules like celibacy or cloistered living. These individuals find spiritual fulfillment through practices like meditation, mindfulness, and a commitment to self-improvement or community work, often within the context of their existing family and career lives. This approach emphasizes spiritual practices over religious dogma and is sometimes seen as an alternative to traditional religion for those who still seek a disciplined and purpose-driven life. 

Key characteristics

  • Integration into modern life: 

Rather than leaving society, secular monastics practice their spirituality within it, engaging in daily activities with a monastic mindset. 

  • Focus on self-improvement: 

A common theme is working on oneself, which can include practices like meditation and personal development. 

  • Service-oriented: 

Like traditional monks, secular monastics often engage in acts of service, though their methods are adapted to a modern context. 

  • Community-based: 

Some groups form communities that support each other in their practices and daily lives. 

  • Flexibility: 

These movements are often diverse and flexible, creating their own “rules of life” that are adaptable to a secular framework. 

  • Spiritual practice over dogma: 

The focus is on the practice of prayer, meditation, and contemplation, rather than on religious doctrine or supernatural beliefs. 

With a couple of my own edits, this pretty much sums it up.

The Secular Modern Monastic isn’t an entirely new creation as there have always been individuals outside of traditional monasticism who have felt called to a more gentle, contemplative way of life. The Desert Mothers and Fathers, and the Beguines are two such examples of contemplative people forging their own path – the former in solitude away from society, the latter a community of individuals living their monastic calling in the midst of their everyday lives – connected through their common call.

Monastics have always been with us, and their purpose has always been the same. While sometimes emerging out of a specific religious tradition, their true purpose transcends belief or doctrine. Instead, they – WE are here to show humanity another way. We are here to show humanity a way out of the imprisonment of the human condition – one that is most often ruled by fear and producing non-loving behaviors that arise out of that fear. Fear is ultimately what compels humans to be gluttonous, selfish, greedy, envious, slothful, vengeful, and vain. Out of their spiritual practice and journey of self-discovery and improvement, secular monastics have learned to transform their fear, coming more and more fully to understand their original nature as Love. Love then, rather than fear, becomes the guiding force of their life which allows them to escape the mechanisms of fear used by the overriding culture.

Modern secular monastics defy the status quo. We are immune to the ministrations of the ruling system of power and control. Not only do we not fit into the system, it is nearly impossible for us to dwell within it. It is for this reason that many find themselves outside the system.

In those newly discovering their monastic calling, the question of community will often surface. As one client has frequently asked, “where do we go?” The answer is simple – we go within. In my experience, there are no formal communities that can hold the secular modern monastic. Instead, we are invited to let community redefine itself. For me, the answer to the question of community is simple: Community has found me. This community is made up of a random and unrelated group of individuals who have all gathered around a specific intention – to be a force of Love in the world. I count among this community my biological family, friends, former and existing clients and students. Some live near me, but the vast majority are scattered around the world doing their own thing and shining their own light. What is common among them is that they are somehow connected to me (I know, weird).

Ultimately, there is no one specific form of secular modern monasticism.  When we allow it, it takes on the exact form that we need – a form that we may never have expected.

“Monastic” is a Temperament

As I allow myself to ease more deeply into the monastic life that has presented itself to me, I am increasingly convinced that “monastic” isn’t made. Neither is it chosen. Instead, it seems, like the Enneagram that suggests we are born our Type (perfectionist, helper, performer, etc.), if we are meant to be monastic, we are born that way. From this perspective, we could say that monastic is a temperament (the more accurate term used in the Enneagram system to describe our type).

I am fortunate to find myself surrounded by those of monastic temperament. Whether it be family, friends, or acquaintances, I have come to identify common traits and preferences that seem to be present among those likely born of monastic temperament who over time have come to choose a monastic lifestyle. The traits that I have been able to identify include (but are not limited to) the following:

  • A tendency toward introversion.
  • Preferring solitude to crowds.
  • Comfortable (even thriving) in silence.
  • Choosing one-on-one interactions over group interactions.
  • Become easily overwhelmed in crowds.
  • Feel vulnerable in the presence of loud sounds, bright lights, frantic movement, high-stress or high-activity environments.
  • Sensitive to other people’s feelings, may even feel them as their own.
  • Sensitive to the plight of humanity.
  • Challenged by a capitalistic culture that places value on and promises to reward people for activity, achievement, etc.
  • Tend not to be competitive.
  • Prefer athletic interests that are solo or singular over team sports.
  • Interested in personal growth and development.
  • Focused on healing the wounds of their past so they can feel better about themselves and better serve the world.
  • Feel a deep call to service.
  • Quiet. Introspective.
  • Often invisible (or feel invisible) to the world.
  • Feel as if they don’t fit in to “regular” society.
  • If in society, they often feel a deep need to escape.
  • Whether by choice or circumstance, finding themselves living simply.
  • Not motivated by money, status, or power.
  • Struggle with imposter syndrome.
  • May suffer from chronic illness including perceived mental health issues. (are they illnesses or mental health issues or simply the consequences of living in a world not made for us?)
  • Find enjoyment in simple activities such as reading, meditating, listening to music, cooking, gardening, being in nature.

By no means is this list exhaustive, but these are some of the common traits I have seen in those finding themselves living a monastic life. As much as we are unable to choose our temperament, it seems also that living a monastic life is not a choice. In the way I have experienced it and observed this in others, it seems that if we are called to be monastic, life will take us there no matter what. For the vast majority of those I know currently living monastically, (including myself) they arrived here kicking and screaming.  This is the force of a culture that demands we be productive members of society and defines productivity by how hard we work and how much our work supports the gross national product (the wealth of the elite). The monastic temperament defies that culture for our purpose here is not to be part of the status quo, but to show humanity another way.


Hell Isn’t All Bad

Letters from Hell #4

Living in hell isn’t all bad. Hell definitely has its perks:

  1. Living in hell allows us to clearly see the world humanity has created for itself – one that springs forth out of fear and which seeks after power and control in the hopes of mitigating that fear.
  2. Living in hell shows us daily the consequences of this quest for power – greed, gluttony, and the violence that humanity wields in their never-ending quest for MORE.
  3. Hell has been increasingly peeling back the layers of humanity’s corruption and all the lies that have been cultivated to justify injustice.
  4. Hell allows us to see who people truly are, including the lies they continue to tell themselves so they might benefit from the system hell created.
  5. Hell also shows us who we are not.
  6. Every second of every day, hell shows us the system that allows for its survival, along with how to escape that system – if only we would pay attention.

The doorway into hell is the same path by which we can escape. Humanity, as a collective, is not doomed to an eternity in hell. As individuals, we are not condemned to waiting for everyone else to wake up before we can make our own escape. The steps necessary for our escape are simple:

  1. We willing to see the hell-system for what it is – a system that is based on and manipulates us through fear.
  2. Harness the skills of observation required to identify all the seemingly infinite ways in which the system is attempting to manipulate you through fear (or shame).
  3. When you notice the system attempting to trigger your fear/shame – SAY NO!
  4. Instead of giving into the fear, STOP and turn your gaze inward – what is the fear that is being triggered? Where did you first experience this fear/shame?
  5. Engage in the mindfulness/meditation practices that you have for releasing/healing/transforming that fear.
  6. Wash, rinse, repeat.

As the journey into hell was created by a thousand steps, so too is the journey out. Escaping hell is all about identifying every wound, trauma, fear, and past conditioning that ties us to the system, and then unraveling ourselves from them. The journey out of hell is about healing through heightened awareness, and radical personal accountability. The more we see the ways in which the system controls us, the more power we have for making our escape.

Whereas the cacophony of the system wants us to believe otherwise, hell is not what the majority of humanity wants. At our core, most of us yearn for peace. We long for connection. We ache for compassion and kindness. And we’re driven toward justice. To escape hell, we cannot allow the system to convince us otherwise – for humanity is made of Love and it will ultimately be to Love that we will return.


2 year training package
Transforming Fears
Self-Awareness
One-on-One support

The Choosing

The words above are from the Book of Joshua in the Hebrew scriptures and perfectly describe where we find ourselves at this point in our human evolution as we are being given an opportunity to choose:

  • Who or what do you serve?
  • Who or what do you follow?
  • Who or what do you worship?
  • Who or what do you seek to obtain or acquire?
  • Who or what do you believe in?
  • Where do you put your time, energy or attention?
  • What or who do you give your energy to?
  • How are you using this one precious life you’ve been given?

To me, there is only one appropriate response to these questions, the answer being Love (that which some might call God). When we choose to serve the cause of Love, when we follow Love to its source, when we hold Love above all else, when we seek to know Love more fully, when we believe in the power of Love, when we focus our time, energy, and attention on knowing and being Love, when we give ourselves over to being Love, and if Love is the goal and intention of our lives, then we find ourselves authentically free – meaning peaceful, joyful, and content.

When we choose anything other than Love, we are doomed to be imprisoned by our fears, our conditioning, and our limiting beliefs. Then, we become vulnerable to the manipulations of those who seek to benefit from our fears.

The world in which we are currently living is ruled by those who seek to benefit from our fears: Corporations. Politicians. Governments. Religious authorities. The Media. Conspiracy Theorists. Propaganda creators. – just to name a few. The world is rife with those who understand that fear is an easier choice than Love and who use those fears to control us by getting us to do what they want us to do for their benefit and our detriment. The wholesale destruction of Gaza, for example, is the result of a nation capitalizing on the fear they have created and the individuals around the world who financially benefit from a nation always at war. An example closer to home are the snake-oil salespeople who are happy to take advantage of those suffering with a tragic, difficult, or terminal diagnosis by making false promises of a cure.

What the world doesn’t know is that choosing fear is easier only because it’s all we’ve been conditioned to do. From the time we are conceived, fear is the primary message and tool of control. It doesn’t, however, have to be this way. Neither are we doomed to remain in fear. Breaking away from fear begins with a choice – a choice that we are invited to make every single moment of every single day. This choice begins with a simple question:

Let me provide some simple examples:

When you are watching TV and an ad comes on for the latest “weight loss cure,” will you allow the ad to trigger your body judgement and be tempted, or even decide to purchase that product or will you see the ad for what it is – a corporation trying to make you feel bad about yourself so you will buy their product – so you can then decide to choose self-Love over fear?

When crazy sh*t is happening at the White House, do you get sucked into anxiety, fear, and the temptation to enter the spiral of doom, or do you take a breath, see it for what it is (something purposefully trying to trigger your fear), and then let it go with Love?

When a political party (or individual) uses the media to try to set apart a specific ethnic group as “the enemy,” do you buy into the fear or do you understand that in Love, there are no enemies – only those seeking to benefit from a world divided.

Choosing Love requires intention, dedication, discipline, and persistence. Choosing Love takes practice – and is a practice. Choosing Love is at once a choice and an unchoosing as we retrain ourselves from the fear we’ve been conditioned to choose to the Love that is our truest and most original nature. Only in choosing Love will we ever know peace and it is only in more choosing Love over fear that the world will ever know peace.


Choosing Love is a practice. All of the resources I provide support you in learning how to choose Love and how to unchoose fear.

Be Still

During times of great upheaval, chaos, and turmoil, the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and the world is to be still. Being still draws us inward toward our original nature which is peace. In stillness we are able to locate the deep well of contentment that is present within us always – when we remember to take the time to return there. Returning there is the remedy to the anxiety, fear, and hyper-fixation that is triggered when everything around us feels to be outside of our control. In that deep well of inner peace, we find comfort, inspiration, guidance, and even a sense of safety when everything around us seems to be on the verge of collapse.

Collapsing it is. Collapsing is what it needs to do. We cannot prevent the collapse, nor should we try.

Instead, we are invited to be. To be witness. To wait and watch. To observe where and how we are being triggered by the collapse, and care for ourselves by turning within.

It is in being still that we shall be unharmed. Stillness provides us with safety and protection. Simply being allows us to find center while everything around us is turning to shit.

Eventually, the collapse will come to its natural end. What will remain will be those who were able to be still. Those who knew how to simply be will be the ones gathering the seeds left behind by the winnowing and who will know how to plant them so that a new world might begin.

If you want to be part of the new world that is coming into being:

Be still.


For over 25 years, Lauri Ann Lumby, MA, has provided one-on-one support for those seeking peace and/or direction in their lives. As a trained spiritual director with a master’s degree in Transpersonal Psychology, Lauri has the perfect education, background, and experience to support you in hearing your own truth, healing past wounds, overcoming trauma, and finding the tools to help you move through the inner obstacles that might be keeping you from the inner contentment you most desire.

It’s All About Power

how we cultivate it, protect it, with whom and under what circumstances we share it

It is not a coincidence that the recent surgery I had (and from which I am still recovering) was to repair a separation of the muscles in the center of my abdomen in the area of the solar plexus and to secure that (likely genetic) weakness. Throughout my life, I have tended to be a leaky person – giving my energy and power away (governed by the solar plexus chakra) to those who don’t deserve it and allowing my energy and power to be stolen from me by ill-intended beings.

In a culture that trains us to be co-dependent, a leaky solar plexus isn’t unusual. We are conditioned to be caretakers of everyone else’s needs but our own, while also being taught it is our responsibility to make the world a better place to live by conquering evil and birthing “love and light.” Whereas I do not argue the love part, what I’ve learned is that conquering evil is less about what we do “out there” and more about what we do within.

Those who operated in our world from a place of evil, gluttony, lust, wrath, envy, greed, sloth, and pride are doing so from a place of great emptiness. Due to their brokenness, they have no power of their own. As a result, they seek to get that power from others. Think of sexual predators, abusers, manipulators, and deceivers. They all do what they do so as to steal energy and power away from the (perhaps) less broken, but decidedly vulnerable.

Let’s use the “Big Beautiful Bill” as an example. Only powerless, hateful humans would come up with a plan to deprive the most vulnerable among us of the programs that provide for their most basic needs. I had a moment of fear and allowed myself a couple days to grieve after the tentative passing of the bill. Myself, my son, my father, and other people I dearly love, stand to lose access to life-saving care should the bill be implemented as planned.

This brings me back to power. It was appropriate for me to allow a day to grieve and process, but with this, and other situations I find myself facing in this moment, I also have a choice. Will I allow my own energy and power to be drawn from me by ill-intended beings? Am I willing to give my energy to worry, fear, anger, hatred, and rage (which is exactly what the ill-intended want), or do I call my energy back to myself and anchor it deep within my own being where it belongs?

The easy answer is the latter. Accomplishing this task, however, is easier said than done. It takes years, and sometimes a lifetime, to realize that we have been giving our energy away or that it is being stolen from us. Some never learn this. I’m grateful that sometime in the last 20ish years, I came to understand the energy draining behavior with which I had become familiar. Today, I’m still working on NOT giving my energy away and keeping it to myself. It is a daily, if not a moment by moment practice.

Our energy and power was never meant for anyone but ourselves. It is ours. It is what fuels our gifts and draws those in need of our gifts toward us. Unfortunately, it also draws to us those who want our energy for their own with no intention of acknowledging or applying the gifts we so freely share. Our power serves as a magnet, drawing toward us those of like mind, our “tribe,” along with those who would use our gifts for their own ill-intended benefit. I think of it this way, fully-in-power humans draw other fully-in-power humans along with those who are lacking in true power and think they can get some by spending time with us. The mythological name for the latter of these two is succubi. You know of whom I speak – those who are draining just to be around and those who enthusiastically claim to respect and honor your gifts and drink deeply of the well you provide, but who actually learn nothing for lack of application. Equally guilty are those who say they value your gifts but do nothing to engage, utilize, or share them.

Every time we give our energy to these kinds of people, we are depriving ourselves of our own power and diminishing that which we may be called to share with those who would actually benefit. You will know this experience by how you feel exhausted, frustrated, impatient, and even angry over how you’ve given your energy away or how it’s been stolen from you.

The key, is to STOP. Stop giving away your gifts, your energy, your time, your power, to those undeserving. The politicians and constituents who supported the “Big Beautiful Bill” are not deserving of your energy or power. Engaging in worry and fear, anger and hatred, the desire to do battle, serves no one except those who want you to feel afraid. Instead of giving into the temptation of allowing your energy and power to be drained away, CALL IT BACK. When you find yourself worried, impatient, afraid, angry, STOP and call that energy back. Draw it deep into yourself and hold it there.  Allow the magic of your power to gather, grow, strengthen, and become anchored in who you are as a person of Love. SIT in that Love and allow it to radiate from within you.  Sitting in the center of your own power deprives life-force vampires from taking your energy and triggering your fears. Keeping your energy to yourself prevents succubi and other ill-intended beings from their source of nourishment. Don’t let them have it -your power or your energy. Keep it to yourself. This is how we drain the swamp – not by giving into their ministrations, chaos, and bullying tactics, but by calling our energy back to ourselves and keeping it there. When we stop giving them our power, they have nothing left to live from. Then, they will either get help for their brokenness, or die from lack of nourishment.

When we stop giving our energy away, we and our solar plexus energy center will find itself healthy and wholly intact – as it was always meant to be.

PS  Thank you to Dr. Lee Stratton and his team at Aurora Hospital for your expert care and support.


In my online course, Into the Wilderness with Authentic Freedom, we do a deep dive into the chakra system – how each chakra corresponds to our physical, mental, emotional, and especially spiritual bodies. In this course, you learn how to identify the fears that are triggering energy leaks (for example) and other non-life-giving symptoms and how to heal and transform those fears so that you might return to your most authentic self.