Since 2011 I have been living below the mean and median income of my local community of Oshkosh, WI. Many of those years I have lived far below the poverty level for a family of three.

I’m sharing this information, not for pity, but to put a face on poverty and to shine a light on how most of the people in our community live. For you see, there is a profound misconception in our community (and likely others) of those who live in poverty. Contrary to popular misconceptions, many (likely most) of those who live below the mean are educated, hard-working, responsible, individuals who either by choice or circumstance are making a living much lower than that of their peers.

For me, living below the mean has been part choice and part circumstance. After my divorce, I chose to continue to be as available for my children as I had been during my marriage. I wanted to continue the business I had begun to build while married and maintain the flexibility required when co-parenting two children. I chose to work during the time my children were with their father and adjusted that according to his travel schedule. I packed an easy 40 hours into the work days I had available – making the most of the time I had while dedicating the rest of the time to my children. These choices, and the reality of owning a service business, meant that we didn’t have many extras. I also made many sacrifices so my children could have what they needed. These were personal choices that I gladly made, and my children prove to me daily that I made the right choice. They are absolutely fabulous human beings of whom I could not be more proud!

Then there are the circumstances. Being a sole proprietor in a service industry has its ups and downs. Some years are better than others and location makes a difference. If I were in a bigger city like Minneapolis or Chicago, the work I do is considered common place and is part of the everyday language. When I say “spiritual director” or “Reiki Master” in Oshkosh, all I get is blank stares. Things began to improve as I took my business online, but then you must compete with the millions of others who are seemingly doing what you are doing (they’re not, but the general population doesn’t get that).

In short, I work in a fringe industry and a lot of the fringe doesn’t have money either.  Yes, I could look for other employment, and I have, but when you throw education, experience, and age into the mix, the reality of ageism kicks in and you find yourself relegated to the “secretary pool” where you’re not really wanted because you know how to and have had the experience of thinking for yourself.  It’s a lose-lose situation, one I know I’m not alone in as I chat with my friends of a certain age who have similarly found it difficult to secure gainful employment – even after a lifetime of experience in their chosen industry.

This is the reality. I have my own business (which hasn’t done well the last couple years), and a part-time clerical job. I’m making barely enough to pay my rent (in an increasingly expensive housing market) and a few odd things. Somehow it always works out, but usually by the skin of my teeth. AND I’m one of the lucky ones. Living close to or below the mean means that there are MANY who are living with far less. In this I am humbled and grateful. I also have the support of friends and family who regularly step in with support and I know who I can turn to if I’m really in trouble. Most people don’t have that. So again, I’m grateful.

Finally, I want to make it really clear to those in the back who continue to maintain a certain perception and attitude toward people like myself living below the mean:

• For me it’s a choice and a circumstance. For MOST it’s not a choice.

• I am a college educated 58 year old woman.  I have a BA in Business and Marketing. A Masters in Transpersonal Psychology. AND several advanced certificates and specialized trainings. I have run my own business since 2003 and in that time have published eleven books and over thirty online courses and trainings. I work hard and continue to offer my services on a sliding scale because I know MANY could not otherwise afford them. I have also continually been an active and involved member of our community.

Oh yeah, then there’s the chronic illness. That just adds another layer in considering choices and circumstances that impact the reality of living below the mean.

*Image credit: https://www.point2homes.com/US/Neighborhood/WI/Oshkosh-Demographics.html