No Longer Human Functioning

I came to the full realization this weekend that I can no longer function as a human being. I’m not sure if this is a function of age and wisdom – coming to know myself more fully and wanting to honor what resonates with and reflects who I am, or if I am finally willing to accept the fact that I am not, in fact, human. Likely it’s a both/and.

With what I know about myself and what I see in the actions of most humans, I don’t know how I could possibly be one of them. Instead, I feel more like an alien species that was dropped on this planet and forced to live among strangers. Never, in my entire life have I wanted what human beings seem to want, and if I did, I wasn’t being honest with myself, or I didn’t know myself well enough to understand that what many humans want would kill me.

And yet, I have spent most of my “human” incarnation, agreeing to the rules human beings seem to have set out for themselves and instead of receiving what has been promised for living by these rules, I have only ever gotten sick – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Humanity’s rules, it seems, are toxic to me, and I’ve had several recent reminders of how sick I become when trying to live by what is expected of other human beings. So, instead of continuing to force myself to comply with humanity’s rules and standards, I’m accepting the fact that what would be called “normal human functioning” is no longer available to me – if it ever was.

For the sake of my own wellbeing, and in acknowledgement of my true alien nature, I no longer consent to the rules of humanity that are toxic to me and will only live my life in the way that feels natural to me.

What comes naturally to me is a quiet, gentle life where I am free to do what feels life-giving to me. What feels life giving to me is meditation and prayer, supporting others with my gifts in a way that empowers and for which my gifts are received and for which I am appropriately compensated, time for learning and study, peaceful enjoyment, one-on-one time with close friends, and rest. In other words – a simple life. If this desire for a simple life makes me an alien, then I guess that’s what I am.

Reclaiming The Mother

To say this week has been intense would be a profound understatement. This morning is the first in many days that I feel somewhat human. Based on reports from the field, I’m not the only one.

Collectively, we have been cast into the depths of the patriarchal wound. Patriarchal wounding began the day humanity set aside THE MOTHER in favor of the punitive father where both the Holy Feminine and Holy Masculine were deprived of their power in favor of the toxic human.

The toxic human seeks after power – no matter the cost. People of all genders are guilty of this toxicity and it is this toxicity that has caused the destruction of our planet and all the ‘isms known to humankind. Toxic humanity gains its power through fear, manipulation, guilt and shame. Toxic humanity will be the death of our species if we don’t do the work of transforming it.

Transformation of toxic humanity is exactly what many of us were cast into this past week. For many, this work of transformation began through our own triggering event – experiences that caused us to feel powerless, disappointed, despairing, devastated, or angry due to actions brought forth through another acting out the patriarchal paradigm. We can be assured that when our triggering results in an inner devastation (for example) that feels disproportionate to the event, that we are being invited to not only transmute this wound for ourselves, but for the collective.

In my own deep dive I found myself alternating between writhing in agony and raging at the injustice. Fortunately the Universe knew I would be called to this and sent me several significant supports. Most noteworthy was a deep encounter with THE MOTHER.

THE MOTHER is the source of all that is. She is the primordial Creatrix and how Source was recognized and honored before the patriarchy captured humanity’s devotion. The Mother is black, representing the VOID/DARKNESS out of which all creation emerges – The Mother’s womb, and black to represent the geographic seat of humanity’s origin. In the spiritual tradition of my primary teachers, The Mother is known as The Shekinah.

Reclaiming THE MOTHER is one of the ways in which we can restore humanity to its original nature as loving, caring, and peaceful creatures living in harmony with the earth and one another. Archaeology supports the idea of a time when humanity lived as one, and the common spirituality of the tribes who lived in this way, was recognition and honor of The Mother. The Mother predates humanity’s creation of hierarchical gods and goddesses along with all the religions that divide. SHE simply is.

I can’t describe exactly how this happened, but accepting and embracing The Mother has completely transformed my experience of The Divine. No longer is the patriarchal father whispering shame, guilt, or threats of punishment in my ears. Instead, I find myself resting in the comfortable abundance and safety of The Mother’s womb. Here I’m reminded that all our needs are being abundantly provided by The Mother, and there’s nothing we need to do to get those needs met. In the same way that it is true for a babe in its mother’s womb, the nourishment, support, love, protection, and peace we all need is simply given to us by virtue of our connection with Source and this nourishment and support comes unbidden and in exactly the way that we need it for our soul’s wellbeing.

Embracing The Mother supports the transformation of the patriarchal wound within us while creating a ripple effect that begins to transform the patriarchal wound within humanity. It’s not something we can make happen, however. The Mother will come to us in our own unique way and as we are ready to receive her. We can, however, prepare for her arrival by identifying the patriarchal wounds within us and begin the work of transmuting them so we can create room for The Mother’s appearance.


Courses in Support of The Mother