I have grown increasingly weary of the new thought, new age, la la positivity movements and their “can-do” attitude subtly laced with shame and guilt. You know the routine:

• “Think the right thoughts and you’ll get what you want.”
• “If you don’t have what you want it’s because you aren’t thinking the right thoughts.”
• “Don’t like your current life state?  Change your thoughts!”
• “The state of your life is what you agreed to before you came here.”
• “Suffering is an example of past life karma.”
• “You must have done something wrong in a past life for this to happen….”
• “You created this.”
• “You create your reality.”
• “If you want more you have to work hard.”

Yadda Yadda Yadda

On all of this I call BULL SHIT!

Seriously, the very last thing we need in our lives is a reinforcement of the messages many of us grew up with:  “You did something wrong. There’s something wrong with you.  It’s your fault. God is punishing you. God will punish you.”

Guilt. Shame. Blame. Over-responsibility.

Again, I call bullshit on this all.

Life is life. Period.

Sometimes in life we experience joy and ease. Sometimes life sucks and we die. Sometimes good things come from hard work. Sometimes only pain comes from hard work. Somedays we feel happy and joyful. Other days we feel depressed. Sometimes it seems we have the power to create our reality……..OR……..was the creation a function of privilege?

At 59 years old, I’ve learned there is really no rhyme or reason to life. Sometimes really bad people do nothing and seem to get everything they want. Often, really good people work really hard and get nothing. Perfectly healthy, really good young people get sick and die by no fault of their own, and absolutely terrible human beings get sick with a terminal illness and live for fucking ever!  No amount of thinking the right thoughts, praying the right prayers, or so-called life contracts or past life experiences change the circumstances of the human condition.

The human condition JUST IS. We have joy. We experience suffering. We find ease. We struggle. And none of this is our fault!!!!!  Our thoughts don’t dictate our life. Prayers and spells don’t change the course of fate. Life just is. And the last thing we need in the already difficult experience of being human is someone gloating about their good fortune and then telling us we don’t have what they do because we signed a life contract or thought the wrong thoughts. F*CK that SH*T!

But here is what we can do with life: Find resources and tools that help us to survive it!

• Find a therapist.
• Secure a spiritual director.
• Ask your doctor for medicinal support (Zoloft is my friend).
• Phone a friend.
• Cultivate a daily practice that creates the space in which you can return to a place of inner peace.
• Exercise.
• Do what you love when you are able.
• Drink coffee.  Eat chocolate. Love what you love in healthy amounts.
• Find meaningful work if you are able, and if not, find something that doesn’t kill your soul.
• Enjoy nature.
• Create space to be fully present to your feelings: ALL OF THEM!
• Honor your sorrow, depression, loneliness, and sense of abandonment. They all have something to teach you.
• Find practices to free you from any and all guilt and shame based conditioning.
• FREE YOURSELF from any and all person/teachers/tools that try to heap shame or guilt upon you.
• And remember this:  YOU ARE A PRECIOUS AND GLORIOUS CHILD OF LOVE/God.  And if you have forgotten this, find tools to help you remember!
• And if all else fails, exercise my favorite mantra:  F*CK This SH*T!