From the Eagle’s Perch

There is no doubt that we are living through troubling times. Between the chaos in the world and uncertainty around humanity’s survival, it is easy to lose hope. So much of what we have come to rely on is proving to be on shaky ground. What we once clung to for security has shown itself to be nothing more than an illusion at best, a bold-faced lie at worst. All that which has been rooted in fear is rising to be seen as the manipulation that it is.

Humanity is waking up. But in this waking up, all our dreams of security, surety, and safety are being shattered. With the death of every dream, we grieve. Grieving includes shock, trauma, terror, denial, bargaining, rage, depression/immobility/dissociation, and deep sorrow. In tending to our grief and the expected unknowns that follow death we may fall into negativity and despair, believing all is lost.

When we examine this awakening from the center of our grief, fear is a natural response. As a species, we like to believe we are in control of our fate and the unfolding of the plans we have made. When new worlds are being born, it is often difficult, if not impossible, to see glimpses of these new worlds as everything around us seems to be collapsing. Remaining too close to the symptoms of collapse can keep us from seeing the opportunities that are being born in the midst of it, and what these opportunities might bring on the other side. This is where seeing from the eagle’s perch becomes a helpful practice.

In the past, some have accused me of being a prophet. If prophet means one who knows how to read the sign of the times, then I accept that accusation as true. Life has shown me that I do see and that what I see almost always happens to be true. Some don’t like me because of this gift because they cannot stand in my presence and not be seen for who they truly are. Those with nothing to hide stand securely under my gaze. Liars, on the other hand, tend to run.

As it relates to world events, I see in a similar way. I see patterns with predictable outcomes based on similar patterns from the past. History, if not healed, DOES repeat itself (all we have to do is look to the war in Gaza to see this truth realized). Through this sight, I am able to predict an outcome of an event or experience if it follows a certain trajectory. The good news is that trajectories can change, therefore changing the outcome. Knowing this, I have often used my voice to warn of the likely outcome of a certain trajectory, hoping that humans might listen and change their own path (we have the power to do this!).

Further, I am able to see far beyond the current timeline and trajectory to the ultimate outcome. As it relates to human beings, I see two possible destinations: self-created extinction or the creation of a better world. It is entirely possible that humanity will choose extinction by refusing to rid itself of that which is rooted in fear, which then results in the human compulsions of greed, gluttony, lust for power, wrath, envy, sloth and pride.  These, if not healed will be the end of us all.

More likely, I see humanity making a different choice. I see humanity growing weary of a world created in gluttony, greed, etc. and in that weariness, seeking another way. Already, I have seen evidence of this movement from weariness to not only seeking but creating change. As much as I am often frustrated by humanity’s stubbornness and ill-will, I not only believe, but SEE that far more humans are generous, loving, peaceful, and kind. These are the humans who I see as coming together to change the tide. In fact, they already are – we just have to bring ourselves to a higher view in order to see them.  To bring ourselves to that higher view, we must transcend our own fears of the dying world, heal our conditioned fears and rise above that which would otherwise bring us down. Only in doing our own inner work are we able to clearly see the purpose of this collapse and the promise of a new world trying to be born.

An important note: Seeing from a higher perch doesn’t happen because we engaged in “positive thinking.”  Neither is it because we have become masters of spiritual bypass or disassociation. Instead, it is the result of deep, inner healing and practice where we are actively pursing the transformation and release of everything that has been made out of fear. In doing this work, WE are the ones who are coming together to choose a new world – one made out of kindness, generosity, and love; and not the one made out of fear.

How are you transforming your fears and unhealed wounds so that you can not only see, but participate in bringing forth this new world?

The Choosing

The words above are from the Book of Joshua in the Hebrew scriptures and perfectly describe where we find ourselves at this point in our human evolution as we are being given an opportunity to choose:

  • Who or what do you serve?
  • Who or what do you follow?
  • Who or what do you worship?
  • Who or what do you seek to obtain or acquire?
  • Who or what do you believe in?
  • Where do you put your time, energy or attention?
  • What or who do you give your energy to?
  • How are you using this one precious life you’ve been given?

To me, there is only one appropriate response to these questions, the answer being Love (that which some might call God). When we choose to serve the cause of Love, when we follow Love to its source, when we hold Love above all else, when we seek to know Love more fully, when we believe in the power of Love, when we focus our time, energy, and attention on knowing and being Love, when we give ourselves over to being Love, and if Love is the goal and intention of our lives, then we find ourselves authentically free – meaning peaceful, joyful, and content.

When we choose anything other than Love, we are doomed to be imprisoned by our fears, our conditioning, and our limiting beliefs. Then, we become vulnerable to the manipulations of those who seek to benefit from our fears.

The world in which we are currently living is ruled by those who seek to benefit from our fears: Corporations. Politicians. Governments. Religious authorities. The Media. Conspiracy Theorists. Propaganda creators. – just to name a few. The world is rife with those who understand that fear is an easier choice than Love and who use those fears to control us by getting us to do what they want us to do for their benefit and our detriment. The wholesale destruction of Gaza, for example, is the result of a nation capitalizing on the fear they have created and the individuals around the world who financially benefit from a nation always at war. An example closer to home are the snake-oil salespeople who are happy to take advantage of those suffering with a tragic, difficult, or terminal diagnosis by making false promises of a cure.

What the world doesn’t know is that choosing fear is easier only because it’s all we’ve been conditioned to do. From the time we are conceived, fear is the primary message and tool of control. It doesn’t, however, have to be this way. Neither are we doomed to remain in fear. Breaking away from fear begins with a choice – a choice that we are invited to make every single moment of every single day. This choice begins with a simple question:

Let me provide some simple examples:

When you are watching TV and an ad comes on for the latest “weight loss cure,” will you allow the ad to trigger your body judgement and be tempted, or even decide to purchase that product or will you see the ad for what it is – a corporation trying to make you feel bad about yourself so you will buy their product – so you can then decide to choose self-Love over fear?

When crazy sh*t is happening at the White House, do you get sucked into anxiety, fear, and the temptation to enter the spiral of doom, or do you take a breath, see it for what it is (something purposefully trying to trigger your fear), and then let it go with Love?

When a political party (or individual) uses the media to try to set apart a specific ethnic group as “the enemy,” do you buy into the fear or do you understand that in Love, there are no enemies – only those seeking to benefit from a world divided.

Choosing Love requires intention, dedication, discipline, and persistence. Choosing Love takes practice – and is a practice. Choosing Love is at once a choice and an unchoosing as we retrain ourselves from the fear we’ve been conditioned to choose to the Love that is our truest and most original nature. Only in choosing Love will we ever know peace and it is only in more choosing Love over fear that the world will ever know peace.


Choosing Love is a practice. All of the resources I provide support you in learning how to choose Love and how to unchoose fear.

Don’t Be Fooled!

Human beings are most vulnerable when afraid. It is when we are afraid that we are most vulnerable to the manipulation of others. Fear causes us to look for something – anything – to help ease our fear – even if what seems to ease our fear is a lie. When afraid, we just want something – anything – anyone – to promise we will be alright. Even when that promise includes something that might cause us harm. The promise might cost us emotionally, mentally, psychologically, physically, and most definitely, financially.

I have seen the evil that preys on fear at work in our world in a multitude of ways. In truth, it’s everywhere.  It’s in the “shaman” that promises to cure your psychosis.  It’s in the “influencers” who wave shiny objects in front of us, promising they will make us better, popular, famous, etc. It’s in so-called “reality TV” showing false images of beauty, wealth, status, and fame. It is in snake-oil salespersons promising a cure for cancer, ALS, Parkinson’s, and any other undesired medical diagnosis. It’s in the unsavory fitness and diet gurus promising their way is the only way to weight loss and long life. It’s in an advertising industry that purposefully preys on our fears, promising that their product is the solution to that fear. It’s in anyone speaking from the farthest reaches of the spectrum promising their way is the only right way and that anyone else is wrong.

We are living in a time in which humanity’s fears are at their highest – a world plagued by war, disease (including pandemics), homelessness, poverty, and hunger. The threat of nuclear war feels very much alive. Earthquakes and volcanoes are erupting at unprecedented levels. Our food and water resources have been poisoned. Weather has become increasingly violent. Millions of people recently lost their lives to Covid. A million more are currently facing annihilation under the orders of fascist dictators hiding behind the masks of democracy.

Humanity has good reason to feel afraid. Fear is a natural, human, response to anything that is outside of our realm of control. Fear, however, does not need to destroy us, and it is most certainly not a reason to give ourselves over to the false promises of charlatans, or anyone promising to have the cure for what ails us. Instead, the answer to fear is that which allows us to move through it so that we might return to our center where we can be in touch with – not someone else’s truth – but our own truth. As Frank Herbert wrote in his immortal classic, Dune:

When we are afraid, we are vulnerable to the manipulations of those who prey on our fears. When we sit with, move past and through our fear, we are able to return to our original nature of peaceful equilibrium. In this place of inner peace, we will see and know the truth. We are able to see through the masks worn by those seeking to have power over us through our fears. Equally, we are able to distinguish truth from falsehood. In this, we will see clearly those who might be authentic support for us in the face of whatever we are fearing – not by making us dependent upon their lies, but empowered in our own truth. Becoming comfortable with our fear and learning effective tools for being with and moving through those fears, makes us immune to manipulation and unable to be fooled by those who might otherwise seek to cause us harm.


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Being a Death Priestess

I am a Death Priestess. 

Here to bear witness to the end of the world.

The collapse of an empire.

The implosion of patriarchy.

To weather the upheaval and chaos of a world in its undoing

while providing comfort to a terrified and grieving humanity.

The American experiment has failed.

Or rather, it has arrived at its foregone conclusion.

The natural outcome of a nation built on sand.

The weaknesses of the empire being revealed

and in those gaps evil has made a home.

Through the unfolding of events

we are being made to see it all –

the loathsome and the hideous.

But beneath all of this,

another world is being made.

Seeds already planted –

taking root and growing

out of the ash of the old.

A true resurrection.

Something new is happening here.

Do you see it?

For a Death Priestess is about

so much more than death.

We are also midwives –

ushering in the emergence of something new.

This one born of Love

rooted deeply in Truth

and formed in the Wholeness of Union.

So shall it be.

And so it is.

Be Still

During times of great upheaval, chaos, and turmoil, the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and the world is to be still. Being still draws us inward toward our original nature which is peace. In stillness we are able to locate the deep well of contentment that is present within us always – when we remember to take the time to return there. Returning there is the remedy to the anxiety, fear, and hyper-fixation that is triggered when everything around us feels to be outside of our control. In that deep well of inner peace, we find comfort, inspiration, guidance, and even a sense of safety when everything around us seems to be on the verge of collapse.

Collapsing it is. Collapsing is what it needs to do. We cannot prevent the collapse, nor should we try.

Instead, we are invited to be. To be witness. To wait and watch. To observe where and how we are being triggered by the collapse, and care for ourselves by turning within.

It is in being still that we shall be unharmed. Stillness provides us with safety and protection. Simply being allows us to find center while everything around us is turning to shit.

Eventually, the collapse will come to its natural end. What will remain will be those who were able to be still. Those who knew how to simply be will be the ones gathering the seeds left behind by the winnowing and who will know how to plant them so that a new world might begin.

If you want to be part of the new world that is coming into being:

Be still.


For over 25 years, Lauri Ann Lumby, MA, has provided one-on-one support for those seeking peace and/or direction in their lives. As a trained spiritual director with a master’s degree in Transpersonal Psychology, Lauri has the perfect education, background, and experience to support you in hearing your own truth, healing past wounds, overcoming trauma, and finding the tools to help you move through the inner obstacles that might be keeping you from the inner contentment you most desire.

The Gospel of Mary Magdalene

(Mary reported to the disciples what the Teacher had revealed to her) “’I left the world with the aid of another world; a design was erased, by virtue of a higher design. Henceforth I travel toward Repose, where time rests in the Eternity of Time; I go now into Silence.’”

Having said all this, Mary became silent, for it was in silence that the Teacher spoke to her.

Then Andrew began to speak, and said to his brothers: “Tell me, what do you think of these things she has been telling us? As for me, I do not believe that the Teacher would speak like this.These ideas are too different from those we have known.”

And Peter added:“How is it possible that the Teacher talked in this manner with a woman about secrets of which we ourselves are ignorant? Must we change our customs, and listen to this woman? Did her really choose her, and prefer her to us?”

Then Mary wept, and answered him:

“My brother Peter, what can you be thinking? Do you believe that this is just my imagination, that I invented this vision? Or do you believe that I would lie about our Teacher?”

At this, Levi spoke up:“Peter, you have always been hot=tempered, and now we see you repudiating a woman, just as our adversaries do.Yet if the Teacher held her worthy, who are you to reject her? Surely the Teacher knew her very well, for he loved her move than us. Therefore, let us atone, and become fully human (Anthropos) so that the Teacher can take root in us.Let us grow as he demanded of us, and walk forth to spread the gospel, without trying to lay down any rules and laws other than those he witnessed.”

The Gospel of Mary Magdalene pp 17-18. Translation by John Yves-Leloup


An Uncommon Priesthood

Uncommon: not ordinarily encountered: unusual; remarkable, exceptional

Priest: someone who is authorized to perform the sacred rites of a religion especially as a mediatory agent between humans and God

Priesthood: the office, dignity, or character of a priest

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

On the first day of the Christology course that was part of my ministry training, our (female) professor asked those of us who felt called to ordination to raise our hands. The men in our class, as was to be expected, raised their hands as they were on the track to becoming deacons. My friend, Karen, and I also raised our hands. That got us a giggle because women, of course, are not allowed to be ordained, either as a deacon or a priest, in the Catholic Church.

That was thirty years ago, and yet still today, women are barred from priesthood in the Catholic Church. That prohibition, however, has not lessened my call to be priest. In the years since, I have discerned priesthood through two denominations outside of the Catholic Church, but in both instances, the prevalence of clericalism in those institutions dissuaded me from completing that path.

Clericalism:  a policy of maintaining or increasing the power of a religious hierarchy (to Merriam-Webster’s definition, I would add: lauding, flaunting, defending, and enforcing that power and in some cases, using it to justify non-loving acts)

To me, priesthood has never been about power. It has always been about service. Neither has it been about hierarchy. Instead, it is a collaboration of gifts in support of individual and collective need. This is the priesthood I see in Jesus and what he drew forth from those who gathered around him. Jesus was not a leader who wanted followers. Instead, he was a catalyst who empowered people in their gifts. By humbly serving those most in need, Jesus’ example challenged the religious and political institutions of his time. These institutions valued their power and privilege over the people they were meant to serve.

Sadly, Jesus’ example did not stand as the early disciples (Peter and Paul in particular) traded the collaborative empowerment that Jesus’ taught them for patriarchal and hierarchical power. This model still stands today in nearly all Christian institutions. This is why I did not, cannot, and refuse, to fit into any institution that values power over service.

Instead, it seems, I have carved out a priesthood all my own. One that has been ordained, not by a bishop’s anointing and laying on of hands, but by careful attention to the call of Love, and living out that Love in all the many ways I have been called. Sometimes this call looks priestly in the marriages and funerals I officiate. Sometimes this call looks formative as I create and facilitate classes and write books in support of participants’ personal/spiritual development. Sometimes it looks pastoral in the one-on-one spiritual counseling I provide. Sometimes the service I provide supports people in their healing, in finding direction, and in experiencing comfort.

Most commonly, however, my priesthood is confirmed in unexpected and surprising ways. It is known in the 6am phone call from a distant friend seeking support for a family member in crisis. It is known in the generous financial donations I sometimes find in my mailbox. It is known in the confidences people have shared with me during challenging times. It is in the many acquaintances who suddenly seek my support and my own wondering of why they chose me. Why would they trust me with this, I barely know them? And yet, time and time and time again, this is so. People who I know – but not really. Amazing, lovely people who I have come to know and love along the way – but we don’t really hang out. People who I know from simply being me in the small community where I live. People, in whom I’ve likely seen something (love, kindness, generosity, honesty, integrity, authenticity) who are somehow seeing me, and trusting me with the most intimate and challenging times of their lives.

This is the priesthood for which I am most grateful.  A priesthood that is unexpected and surprising and looks absolutely nothing like what we have come to associate with being priest. And yet, it is exactly what the Catholic Church preaches in its invitation to participate in the priesthood of all believers (Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraphs: 1267, 1268, 1141, 1143, 1268, 1305, 1535, 1547, 1591, and 1592). Whereas the institutional church does not recognize my priestly calling, I am profoundly humbled and grateful to all those who have invited me to serve in this role.

Musing on Magic

When one is called to, and says “yes” to a life of magic, everything turns upside down and inside out. No longer is life measured by things of this world. The magical life is intangible and measured by the invisible.

Real magic requires no rituals or rhyming spells. Instead, it arises from within, cultivated in silence. Like a seed bursting out from the soil, it is known. Born out of mystery. Nurtured in darkness.

True magic is a natural unfolding. Free to emerge because one has cleared away the inner obstacles otherwise blocking the way. Magic is the manifestation of the miraculous – God’s holy desire revealing itself through us.

Magic is effortless. It is an allowing. A yielding. A right of way. Magic is ourselves getting out of the way as God walks in.

As a great teacher once reminded, “I have told you, you are gods.” (John 10:34)

The Price of Truth

……laughing uproariously…….

……don’t say I didn’t warn you…..

……when are people going to start listening to me????? (in my best Tommy Shelby brogue)

……When is the world going to start listening to its prophets?

Thanks.  I had to let that out.

In all seriousness, I am literally laughing my head off at the whole “Epstein files” debacle. When congress BLOCKS the release of classified information related to the Jeffrey Epstein trial, including Epstein’s client list, we know it is Congress that has something to hide, NOT the now deceased Epstein. When the President of the United States insists he didn’t know Jeffrey Epstein, or anything about a list, we all know he “protesteth too much.” 

We know. We absolutely know the truth. Epstein was a predator, child sex trafficker, and ran a private sex island for the rich and famous and the pedophiles among them. He went to jail for it, as did his partner. We know that our president knew him, was friends with him, and went to his private sex parties. We know there is a list. WE ARE NOT STUPID, and yet, some are convinced they can pull the wool over our eyes and pretend there is nothing to see. (pay no attention to the man behind the curtain)

But we do see. After the priest sex abuse scandal, Harvey Weinstein, P. Diddy, R. Kelly, etc. you would think we’d be able to see and know.

I’ll put it bluntly, I liken the evils of Epstein, Maxwell, and all those who went to their little island to those of A. Joseph Maskell, the now former priest who was accused of sexually abusing students, inviting local people of importance to participate in his sex parties, and murdering the Sr. Catherine Cesnik who reported him. I liken the president’s denial and the congressional ruling to the Catholic bishops who denied and then attempted to cover up Maskell’s sins – that and the institutional Church who for centuries denied and covered up the evils that were being done to children by Catholic priests.

This shit is real. And it is often the most powerful among us who are guilty of the most heinous crimes, and yet they have always been the ones to get away with it.

To the revelation of truth, I say BRING IT. To our eyes that are tempted to turn away, I say LOOK CLOSELY.

Look at the evil. See the devil for who and what it really is – men and women living among us in positions of perceived power doing the most awful and terrible things. SEE IT.  LOOK AT IT. REALIZE THE HORROR OF IT.

And then, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

The time of truth seeing is now. And while we want to deny there is evil among us, while we want to think the best of those in perceived positions of authority, while we want to believe our nation is free, the truth is something else entirely.

As Jack Nicholson in the movie A Few Good Men famously said, “You want the truth? You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” 

YES WE CAN.  Or we had better learn.

I admit, it sucks. It is something terrible to learn of the evils rampant in institutions for which we once had respect, hope, and even love. As the priest sex abuse scandal was being revealed, I remember feeling heartbroken and betrayed. I felt hurt and disgusted. Then I began to see the corruption of the institution and how it not only fosters but encourages pedophilia.

The same will be true if, and when, Epstein’s list is ever released. I suspect there will be names on that list that we initially will not be able to believe. Politicians, CEO’s, actors, etc. we may have held in high regard. I also suspect the list is ENORMOUS – the revelation of which will bring the American empire to its knees. (I suspect this is what those who know are really afraid of). Rome will not be burning. It will erupt like an atomic bomb.

Kind of like what happened in the Catholic Church. A mass exodus of formerly devout believers who could no longer support an institution built on the blood of innocent children.

The truth is that there is true evil in our world and the only way to free ourselves from these evils is to see them.  Call them out. Dismantle the institutions that have fostered these evils. Heal the wounds caused by these evils, and then build something new.

While some may argue the cost of revealing the truth, to me, FREEDOM is worth every effort toward seeing and knowing the truth, for freedom is priceless. As Jesus once said, “THE TRUTH will set you free.” This is what he meant.

Open to Possibility

Surrendering to this time of recovery has given me ample opportunity to examine my life and what I believe to be my mission and purpose. At sixty years old, the expression of that mission has changed (somewhat), but the mission remains the same: being a force of transformation in a changing world.

  • Bearing witness
  • Holding space
  • Being love
  • Sharing tools for healing and growth
  • Speaking truth
  • Providing counsel and hope
  • Sharing what I see and hear

As it relates to the world today: guiding humanity through the death of the world as we have known it while preparing them for the world yet to be. (Cue Livin’ it Up from Hadestown) The ancients gave the title psychopomp to those charged with this important task.

  • Commitment to my daily spiritual practices
  • Praying without ceasing
  • Steel-clad boundaries
  • Honoring the fragile nature of my physical body and the even more fragile nature of my energy.

I’m done giving more than I can give.

This commitment to self so that I might better serve my mission, has led me more and more deeply into a monastic, contemplative lifestyle. I am becoming the hermit I have always longed to be.

With one little hiccup: a capitalistic world that doesn’t recognize hermit as a valid profession, and therefore, does not provide for those called to a monastic kind of life. For me, this hiccup has been like a nagging sliver that I just can’t get rid of. I think the perceived conflict between the Soul’s calling and the material world is one that plagues those currently called to a gentler (and perhaps new world) life.  I know I’m not alone in this struggle. This has left me at conflict with myself and the world as I stress about money, making money, working a “real” job, etc. etc. It has felt like an unanswerable question and a conflict I’m doomed to endure until the end of my life.

But then, yesterday, after I came out of the heavy waters of the Capricorn full moon, I heard some new words:

Immediate shift in perception!  Instead of feeling stuck in the one scenario that has been playing through my mind, I suddenly remembered: God/the Soul has a plan. How that plan is brought into being is none of our business. Our only job is to be clear about what we want, and let God figure out the rest. The outcome may not be exactly as we had wished for, but in my life experience, when we let go and let God, the outcome is ALWAYS far better than we could have ever imagined for ourselves.

Does this mean that one day soon the Universe may provide the means by which I can fully embrace the hermit life and tend to that which I deeply feel called to do? I don’t know. But at least now, I am open to the possibility.