Mission/Purpose/Calling

Good Words

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

This is just such a good reading I wanted to share it with a little practice at the end if you feel so-called.

The Lord GOD has given me
            a well-trained tongue,
That I might know how to speak to the weary
            a word that will rouse them.
Morning after morning
            he opens my ear that I may hear;
And I have not rebelled,
            have not turned back.
I gave my back to those who beat me,
            my cheeks to those who plucked my beard;
My face I did not shield
            from buffets and spitting.

The Lord GOD is my help,
            therefore I am not disgraced;
I have set my face like flint,
            knowing that I shall not be put to shame.
He is near who upholds my right;
            if anyone wishes to oppose me,
            let us appear together.
Who disputes my right?
            Let him confront me.
See, the Lord GOD is my help;
            who will prove me wrong?

Isaiah 50: 4-9a

Meditation Practice:

If you feel so-called, apply Lectio-Divina to the scripture passage above and share your experience in the comment section.

Lectio Divina

Lectio Divina is Latin for “divine reading,” “spiritual reading,” or “holy reading” and represents a method of prayer and scriptural reading intended to promote communion with God and to provide special spiritual insights.  Traditionally, Lectio-Divina is practiced with sacred scripture, but can be applied to any inspirational or meaningful written text.  Lectio Divina is accomplished in four steps, with the fourth step – contemplation – continuing beyond our practice time and flowing out into our day.

Lectio – Choose a scripture passage or inspirational written text.  Read the passage gently and slowly several times, savoring each portion of the reading.  As you are reading, look for a word or phrase that seems to jump out at you.  Receive this word or phrase as God’s nourishment for you.

Meditatio – Reflect on the text of the passage and think about how it applies to one’s own life. Specifically, ruminate, ponder, meditate on the word or phrase that jumped out at you.  Ask the question, “How is God speaking to me personally through this passage?”

Oratio – Respond to the passage by opening your heart to God. Allow yourself to have a conversation with God.  Offer a silent or spoken prayer in response to God, or write your thoughts in a notebook or journal.

Contemplatio – Listening to God. This is a freeing of yourself from your own thoughts, both mundane and holy, and hearing God speak to you. Opening the mind, heart, and soul to the influence of God. Contemplatio is often done in silence or carried with you as you go about your day.  Observe how your meditation period continues to influence your thoughts, behaviors, attitudes and feelings.

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Poet Prophet Priest

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Over twenty-five years of doing the work I do in the world, and I still don’t know how to explain to people what I do!  Recently I landed upon three words that at least approach the idea of how I function and how that leads to the work I do and the gifts I share in the world.

Poet: Patti Smith once said: “To be an artist is to see what others cannot.” This is how it is with me. I see the world and all of life’s experiences through a depth beyond normal sight. I look beyond appearances to the mystery wherein lies the signs and symbols revealing meaning. I see through my eyes, but more directly, through my feelings. I feel what I see and what is beyond what I see. Herein I seek the beauty beyond the tragedy and the death that lies beyond the veil of perceived beauty. All that glitters is not gold. THEN, I am compelled/forced to put what I see and feel into words. Whether poetry or prose, all that I write is poetic.

Poetic: having an imaginative or sensitively emotional style of expression.

(Oxford English Dictionary)

Prophet: Albert Nolan defines a prophet as “one who is able to see the signs of the times.” More specifically, Nolan says:

Prophets are people who speak out when others remain silent. They are watchful of the areas in need of reform in their own society, their own country, or their own religious institutions. True prophets are men and women who stand up and speak (or act) out about the practices of their own people and their own leaders – while others remain silent. True prophets are not part of the authority structure. Prophets are never appointed, ordained or anointed by the religious establishment. They experience a special calling that comes directly from God, and their message comes from their own personal experience of God.

(Jesus Today – a Spirituality of Radical Freedom (Orbis Books, 2008, pp. 63-67)

Guilty!  If you have observed my work, my writing, my sharing, my community and global participation, you will agree. I speak what I see. I call out systems of injustice. I hold the world to the same standards I hold myself. AND I see where things are going and where we will end up if we continue along the current path.

Being a prophet is not like being a fortune teller.  Instead, it is made up of the practices of deep observation, a knowledge and understanding of human behavior, and applying my own skills of reason and logic. Prophecy isn’t miraculous. Seeing prophetically is a skill accessible to anyone with eyes to see and the logic to comprehend what we are seeing. Being a prophet isn’t really any different than understanding that 1+1=2.  The only difference is that being a prophet, we are compelled to speak what we see.

Priest: Calling myself priest is a tricky one, as the word and vocation itself has been corrupted beyond recognition and for centuries used to inflict all kinds of evils upon our world. In the pre-patriarchal traditions, a priest was a woman or man of the clan who were recognized as possessing certain gifts – gifts of healing, counsel, and teaching. The priest’s gifts came through a deep sensitivity to mystery and an ability to see, hear, and feel beyond the tangible world. The priest communed with the beyond and as such, was able to guide people during the transitory times of life – specifically: birth, growth, loss, and death. The priest was recognized as a leader and of great value to the clan, while being just one in the intimate workings of the community. The priest wasn’t above any other member of the tribe, but stood in circle with all the other gifts required to ensure the tribe’s survival and thrival.

If I claim to be priest, it is more in line with this pre-patriarchal imagining of priesthood and not at all like what we have come to know through institutional religion. Bottom line:  I am here to serve humanity through the gifts that I have and the calling I’ve been given. It’s no wonder I’m the person people turn to when the shit hits the fan, the bottom falls out, and all other efforts have been exhausted. I jokingly say that I might be the Pastor of Oshkosh, but this is not far from the truth as many of my local community will attest.

Poet. Prophet Priest. Yeah.  I can live with that and it’s the best I can do in a world where the work I do still defies definition!

Poet

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Prophet

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Priest

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Casting Stars

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 4 Comments

Casting Stars

“Speak Lord, your servant is listening.”

The words of my morning prayer.

But to what god am I praying?

To what does one pray in a post-theistic state?

“Speak Self, your servant is listening.”

What is it my Self has to say?

What do I want from and for myself?

Self wants what the Self wants –

To be known.

What do I know of my Self?

Moving past defense mechanisms

And the armor designed to protect from the horrors of the world,

there is kindness

and deep sensitivity.

A heart too tender for the violences of this world

and the cruelty of man –

yet strong in its ability to endure the constant breaking –

held together by a love that sees promise

and the hidden good in it all.

Wise enough to have discarded hope (that fool’s game)

allowing Faith to take its place.

No longer wishing, but knowing,

in a deep, abiding way, that “it is good”

no matter how horrible that “good” might initially appear.

This is the Self I know.

The one who sees and knows.

Who seeks understanding in confusion.

Who looks for the higher way, the higher truth.

Who longs to know the Love in the center of it all

And who has no choice but to point it all out.

The messenger poet casting stars into the sky

helping humanity find its way.

A Beautiful Testimonial!

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

A graduate of the Order of the Magdalene reached out to me this morning after receiving a recent email from me. Her words speak volumes about the depth and breadth of this work and why I keep on doing what I do:

Dear Lauri: I was so moved by your latest email! The last time I remember feeling this stirring within my soul is when I “stumbled” upon your website in the early days of COVID.

Completing the Magdalene course still remains the most impactful thing I have done for my spiritual growth. I am so grateful for the work you have created.

I am not sure if you remember me telling you when I came across your website how unusual it was for me to have such a strong reaction..such a strong knowing that I was meant to complete the Magdalene course.

I feel the same way reading your latest email. I don’t even know what the means. I just know I had to reach out.

“Doing the work of Love as was exampled by Jesus and Mary Magdalene.” When you said “this is who I am and what I do”, I found myself saying, “Yes! That is exact it!!” Maybe that’s the power of your email, helping us all to reconnect with who we are and why we are here. And, the very important realization that we are not alone in this task. There are many of us!

There are soooooo many of us! To learn more about the Order of the Magdalene formation program or our membership community, click on the menu tabs above.

With love,

Lauri Ann Lumby

Secular Monastic Living

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

with the Order of the Magdalene

My whole life I have been restless – longing and searching for more.  Typically, that “more” meant something other than what I was currently experiencing.  My mom recently reminded me that I was always looking for that next opportunity, next goal, next degree, next job, next relationship.  I was rarely, if ever, satisfied with what was right in front of me, I was always looking for that “something new” that must be right around the corner.  This searching did not arise out of boredom with the status quo – in fact, as one who thrives on order and routine, status quo has always provided me with a sense of comfort.  But still, my heart was restless.  Where was that satisfaction that my Soul longed for and relentlessly searched after? 

The good news is that my searching has not been in vain.  Everything I have explored, searched after, studied, discerned, discarded or applied has been food for the searching.  Every place I landed (albeit temporarily) showed me a part of my Soul and provided me with tools which have proven, not only helpful but life-giving in the great search.  What I had begun to suspect a few years back and which I have now come to understand fully, it was not anything outside of me for which I was searching. 

This whole entire time I was only searching for one thing and that one thing is MYSELF.

Lauri Ann Lumby.  Thriving in order and routine.  An Introvert who likes people and who cherishes intimate friendships.  Creative yet also logical and reasoning.  Outwardly appearing aloof while harboring deep, deep, deep feelings. Highly, highly, highly intuitive (some might even suggest psychic). Hungry for knowledge – specifically of a spiritual nature.  Enjoys a quiet, gentle, ease-filled flow to life.  Repelled by conflict or competition.  Enforcing hard-core boundaries for the sake of self-care.  Recoils from entanglements and anything smelling of co-dependency or manipulation.  A vessel of kindness and support, insight and wisdom.  Yearning for a world where we can all just get along and where people can remember that we are all one. 

This is me.  I have also learned (something I’ve actually known all along) that knowing myself isn’t enough.  What this search has also led me to understand is what MYSELF needs to thrive.  It is not and has never been what our culture keeps trying to sell us – work hard, get a job, make lots of money, buy lots of things, invest your money, save your money, buy cool things with your money, be famous.  You can imagine the inner conflict I’ve been feeling all these years with the world and my Soul constantly fighting for my attention.

No more.  Now I get it and I am living it.  I have set down my conditioned desire for wealth, power, fame and success (as it is defined in our capitalistic culture).  Instead, I am embracing what my Soul needs – a monastic kind of life. But what does that mean in 2023 for an almost 59 year old single mother of two adult children?  The answer to this question has come from living INTO the question – asking my Soul what it needs from moment to moment and doing my best to deliver. 

What does a secular monastic calling look like from day to day? In truth, each day is a little different from another, but here is what my current normal looks like:

  • 6 am wake up.
  • Meditation
  • Breakfast and coffee
  • Check emails and Facebook for messages.
  • Tend to any Order of the Magdalene business that needs tending to.
  • Go to yoga class
  • Shower and get ready for the day
  • Lunch
  • Meditation or reading
  • Chop wood and carry water – YES – I have a “real job” where I go 15-20 hours a week to help me pay for the necessities of life:  food, shelter, etc.
  • Dinner at work
  • Home by 8pm
  • A little light reading or TV watching.
  • 9:00 bedtime.

In 2019 I finally embraced my monastic spirit and made a commitment to it in my daily life.  2020 and the pandemic shutdown and my subsequent eye-surgery that required an 8 week recovery helped me to even more fully anchor this practice. In this I’m finding my place in the world. There is still conflict.  I still experience anxiety, stress, and occasional situational depression.  I spend a fair amount of my time alone – which actually fits my temperament.  My life is not complicit with what a capitalistic culture requires of us.  I don’t have any of the things our culture says we must have.  I don’t own a home.  I don’t have any savings or investments.  I own the simple furnishings and artwork (much of it I have done myself) that are in my home.  Much of what I own came to me second-hand, including the clothes on my back.  It is a simple life.  It is counter cultural.  And it is founded on and established in one thing: 

My relationship with MYSELF and my relationship with that which some call “God.” 

Everything else springs forth out of and revolves around this simple goal – to be One within Myself and therefore One with God and One with everything that is. 

It is here that I am finding contentment and peace and growing in compassion and love.

If the monastic life speaks to your Soul’s yearning, subscribe to my email, follow me on social media, or subscribe to this blog (see below).  If you are looking for connection with others walking a similar path, consider becoming a member of our growing community. All are welcome.

Back Where I Belong

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

As I write this at 9:46am on Saturday, October 28th, I just finished listening to my favorite online astrologer, Lori Lothian, deliver her “Saturn direct” reading for November. As it turns out, I was born with Saturn in Pisces – exactly where Saturn finds himself now. Repeating these cycles every 29 years or so, I am in the midst of my second Saturn return. I share this because it is relevant to where I find myself at this exact moment in my spiritual/vocational journey.

In 1993 when I experienced my first Saturn return, I had the “brick to the head” experience that launched me into seven years of ministry training and the discovery, activation, and deepening of my calling. All this was done with and in the Catholic Church.

In 2003 I left formal church ministry and took my work into the secular world. Since 2003 that work has evolved, unfolded, and taken on many external forms. My heart and my soul were rooted in the Jesus I had come to know and the Mary Magdalene that was his closest companion and the one who most fully understood his teachings and who was then sent forth to continue the mission of Love after Jesus’ death. Now I found myself, however, having to “sell” my work to a secular audience who might most accurately be called “spiritual but not religious.” The ways I attempted to market this work to a diverse audience were many, taking on many different names and forms.  But only on the outside. While the packaging may have changed, the materials inside were the same:

Rooted in scripture. Grounded in contemplative practice. Defined by scholarship.

In the last several years, I have found all that I had attempted falling away. Piece by piece by broken piece, everything I had worked for in the past 30 years has died.

Or so it seemed.

I surrendered to the dying. I grieved the loss. I have spent more time in the VOID than anyone should have to spend. Empty. Nothing left to pursue. Nothing new to create. No visible paths. Nothing but the blackest of blackness where nothing remains but from which all of creation emerges.

Then last week something shifted. For the first time in 30 years I saw the whole truth of something that had been blocking my access to my full power. I saw it. I unhooked myself from it. I bore witness to the kickback (there’s always a kickback when we deprive something of the power we’d been giving it). I sat in the fullness of the liberation.

Then the floodgates opened and carried me right back to where I began (sort of). What came forth out of that return is a complete overhaul/return to the origin of my work along with a recognition – not of what I formerly wanted – but rather, what already is.

The Order of the Magdalene is already fully formed. The community has already been gathering. The formation was already whole in its original form. Why not own it and quit:

  • Asking permission.
  • Trying to meet everybody’s needs.
  • Trying to appeal to everyone.
  • Using other people’s language.
  • Competing with shiny objects.
  • Trying to be shiny.
  • Comparing myself with others.
  • Questioning and doubting.

This is who I am and what I do. Period.  Doing the work of Love as was exampled by Jesus and Mary Magdalene. Honoring the tradition from which I came. Recognizing the wisdom of scripture (canonical and non-canonical). Celebrating my own monastic calling. Embracing the gifts of contemplation. Remaining rooted in scholarship.

In short – keeping it real.

If you’re one who likes to keep it real – please check out The Order of the Magdalene 2023 Reboot.  Back to where I belong.

And thank you for all those who have been with me throughout this crazy journey. I am grateful for you!

With love,

Lauri

Living Below the Mean

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Since 2011 I have been living below the mean and median income of my local community of Oshkosh, WI. Many of those years I have lived far below the poverty level for a family of three.

I’m sharing this information, not for pity, but to put a face on poverty and to shine a light on how most of the people in our community live. For you see, there is a profound misconception in our community (and likely others) of those who live in poverty. Contrary to popular misconceptions, many (likely most) of those who live below the mean are educated, hard-working, responsible, individuals who either by choice or circumstance are making a living much lower than that of their peers.

For me, living below the mean has been part choice and part circumstance. After my divorce, I chose to continue to be as available for my children as I had been during my marriage. I wanted to continue the business I had begun to build while married and maintain the flexibility required when co-parenting two children. I chose to work during the time my children were with their father and adjusted that according to his travel schedule. I packed an easy 40 hours into the work days I had available – making the most of the time I had while dedicating the rest of the time to my children. These choices, and the reality of owning a service business, meant that we didn’t have many extras. I also made many sacrifices so my children could have what they needed. These were personal choices that I gladly made, and my children prove to me daily that I made the right choice. They are absolutely fabulous human beings of whom I could not be more proud!

Then there are the circumstances. Being a sole proprietor in a service industry has its ups and downs. Some years are better than others and location makes a difference. If I were in a bigger city like Minneapolis or Chicago, the work I do is considered common place and is part of the everyday language. When I say “spiritual director” or “Reiki Master” in Oshkosh, all I get is blank stares. Things began to improve as I took my business online, but then you must compete with the millions of others who are seemingly doing what you are doing (they’re not, but the general population doesn’t get that).

In short, I work in a fringe industry and a lot of the fringe doesn’t have money either.  Yes, I could look for other employment, and I have, but when you throw education, experience, and age into the mix, the reality of ageism kicks in and you find yourself relegated to the “secretary pool” where you’re not really wanted because you know how to and have had the experience of thinking for yourself.  It’s a lose-lose situation, one I know I’m not alone in as I chat with my friends of a certain age who have similarly found it difficult to secure gainful employment – even after a lifetime of experience in their chosen industry.

This is the reality. I have my own business (which hasn’t done well the last couple years), and a part-time clerical job. I’m making barely enough to pay my rent (in an increasingly expensive housing market) and a few odd things. Somehow it always works out, but usually by the skin of my teeth. AND I’m one of the lucky ones. Living close to or below the mean means that there are MANY who are living with far less. In this I am humbled and grateful. I also have the support of friends and family who regularly step in with support and I know who I can turn to if I’m really in trouble. Most people don’t have that. So again, I’m grateful.

Finally, I want to make it really clear to those in the back who continue to maintain a certain perception and attitude toward people like myself living below the mean:

  • For me it’s a choice and a circumstance. For MOST it’s not a choice.
  • I am a college educated 58 year old woman.  I have a BA in Business and Marketing. A Masters in Transpersonal Psychology. AND several advanced certificates and specialized trainings. I have run my own business since 2003 and in that time have published eleven books and over thirty online courses and trainings. I work hard and continue to offer my services on a sliding scale because I know MANY could not otherwise afford them. I have also continually been an active and involved member of our community.

Oh yeah, then there’s the chronic illness. That just adds another layer in considering choices and circumstances that impact the reality of living below the mean.

*Image credit: https://www.point2homes.com/US/Neighborhood/WI/Oshkosh-Demographics.html

Know Your Worth

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

You are a precious child of God/Love, of this there can be no doubt. And yet, life often wears us down to the point where we forget this critical truth.

Worn down is exactly where I have been as I’ve watched the work of thirty years die on the vine. All of that by which I had come to define myself seems to have come to an end. My children are grown up and out of the house. The books I had in me are out in the world. My burst of artistic creativity in the form of spiritual icons seems to have lost its fire. My remaining clients and students are few. It’s not enough to sustain me financially so I’ve been forced to “get a real job.” It’s a good “real job,” but it’s only part time and still not enough (just barely covers my rent and a few of my regular bills).

Life is strange when you’re fifty-eight and you find there’s nothing left in your hands. It’s even stranger when well-meaning friends, relatives, and even strangers try to offer encouragement, support and things you could “do” to drum up more business.

Sigh. I feel like I’ve done all that. I have no more efforting in me. The desire to hustle for my business died long ago and the thought of creating marketing materials to target a whole new audience exhausts me beyond exhaustion.

I’m too old for this shit. Been there done that…..and what exactly do I have to show for all the darn efforting and for everything I sacrificed to pursue what I still believe is my calling. I have the gifts for it and people benefit from the sharing of my gifts. But still……

Yesterday well-meaning ideas were put before me and my whole body recoiled. I could feel my Soul entering panic mode and my mind started to shut down. Knowing my own discernment response, I excused myself from the gathering and acknowledged that there was something out of alignment for me with the suggestions. I brought this awareness into my sleep and welcomed it into my prayers this morning.

As it turned out, the Universe had a lot to say.

  1. A FB post from a friend in which she said, “I no longer know who I am.” BOOM!  That hit me between the eyeballs!  Ditto sister!
  2. Reading the Tao, words that remind my Soul of my truth:

Bend and you will be whole.

Keep empty and you will be filled.

Have little and you will gain.

3. Scripture randomly floating into my brain:

Don’t cast your pearls before swine. (MT 7:6)

4. And a reading from my Kali oracle deck:

Your path need not be one of endless effort.

All of these a reminder to know my worth, trusting and honoring what I know about myself and my own truth. I’m done casting my gifts to the wind and having them either blow back in my face, fall on the ground in front of me, or get blown away never to return. I know my worth and whatever the Universe has in store for this empty vessel that I’ve become will find its way to me for I am indeed a precious child of God/Love.   

Surprised I Talk About Jesus?

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

People are often surprised to hear me talk about Jesus and even more surprised to learn that I teach about him. Actually, I don’t teach about Jesus, my teaching models his.

The Jesus I know may not be the same as the one you were taught about or the one whose teachings were twisted to fit the agenda of the patriarchal, hierarchical institution you belong to or were raised in.

The Jesus I know is Love – pure and simple.  Love. In this Love there is no room for discrimination, bigotry, ignorance, or hatred. The Love that Jesus embodied does not judge, but treats each human being with dignity and respect, celebrating their unique giftedness and diversity while mindful of the woundedness they may carry. The Jesus I know embodied compassion and understanding, listened deeply, hearing the truth beyond the words, and seeing the truth beyond the illusion. This Jesus never sought to start a new religion, only to remind his own Jewish brothers and sisters of the Love that dwelled within them and of the Unity that existed beyond the division of religious dogma – the Truth their ancestors once knew but quickly forgot.

The Jesus I know is the Jesus before men hungry for power appropriated his name for their own political gain. The Jesus before politicians used his name to justify genocide. The Jesus before a Church was built in his name that then went on to commit horrors against those who refused to give up their own beliefs for a god made in Rome’s image, against innocent children, and against women and men who through the wisdom of nature and their ancestors had the power to help and heal.  The Jesus before pulpit preachers attributed Jesus to their own fear-based message of hellfire and brimstone through which they could then exact pounds of flesh or coffers of coins from those willing to be manipulated by their words.

My Jesus is not Joel Olsteen’s Jesus, neither is he the Jesus used by the Church in which I was raised to claim themselves to be “the one true Church.” The Jesus I know didn’t die for our sins, but instead, died for the sake of the Truth of Oneness that he was called to teach (which in a way is dying for our sins). The Jesus I know came to heal the sick, liberate those imprisoned by their own unhealed wounds and conditioned fears.  He came to open the eyes of those who refuse to see and the ears of those who prefer to turn a deaf ear to Love.

This is the Jesus I have come to know and if I speak of his name, this is the Jesus about whom I speak.

Oh yeah…..and the Jesus I know isn’t white.

The Truth That Sets You Free

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

The second lesson from my online course “Overcoming Obstacles with Authentic Freedom.” In this sample lesson from my course, you will learn the ultimate Truth of the human experience, why we are here, and what we are invited to know/remember. Authentic Freedom provides the resources, tools, protocol and platform from healing ourselves of the core wound of separation so that we can remember our true origin in wholeness and love.

As a course participant recently shared:

“Dear Lauri, I have just listened to the 8mins and 44 seconds of your Core Wound lecture. In my view that is the most powerful, succinct, inspiring and clear description of what I have been trying to learn for the last 6 years (and maybe the 30 years before then 😊). Each sentence is a powerful quote on its own, the combination is mind blowing. It is just brilliant and the world needs to hear those 8 minutes. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience what I have just experienced. Love and Blessings to you.”

To learn more about Authentic Freedom and our return to wholeness, check out my website at http://www.lauriannlumby.com.