Personal Mastery

Jesus: a Model of Self-Actualization

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Today’s blog explores Jesus and his teachings as a model of psychological and spiritual development through which we are empowered to become self-actualized and through which we are able to be freed of the obstacles which prevent us from reaching our full potential as human beings.

Has Jesus Become Irrelevant?

It saddens me that in our quest for intellectualism and individuation, Jesus and his teachings seem to have become irrelevant. When we pierce through the veil of dogma, however, what we can see is that Jesus provides a model for psychological and spiritual development which supports the self-actualization of those following his example.  What Jesus taught rivals the currently popular paths toward enlightenment and might even be more befitting those who were raised in the Christian tradition. While I acknowledge all these paths as holy and sacred and as valid means through which we can develop and grow as human beings, I contend that we are missing a HUGE opportunity by ignoring or worse yet, demonizing, Jesus and the gifts that he brings to the journey of self-actualization.

Jesus as the model

When we read scripture without the threads of dogma obscuring our view, what we see in Jesus is a man who came to understand the fullness of his human potential and who lived that out as freely as was possible. Examining Jesus’ life through the lens of psychological and spiritual development, we see:

  • A man committed to his spiritual practice.
  • Who came to develop a deeply intimate and personal relationship with that which he called “Abwoon” (God).
  • Who found healing, comfort, restoration, inspiration and guidance through this connection with his higher self.
  • Who, through a process of formation and discernment came to understand his unique giftedness and how he was called to live that out.
  • Who overcame the inner obstacles, temptations and fears which might prevent him from living this path with humility
  • Who learned and practiced the gift of spiritual obedience.
  • Who learned to surrender to and trust the Source that was guiding him.
  • Who was able to stand freely and without compromise in his truth, even to the point of death.
  • Who was a force for change and a voice for justice – ministering to and speaking out on behalf of those who had been ostracized by society.
  • Who challenged the laws that provided privilege to some while infringing on the rights of others.

From the perspective of psychology, Jesus was a man who became self-actualized, who reached the fullness of his human potential and who left behind a collection of stories and teachings which show us how to do the same.

Jesus as the teacher

Jesus did not go up on a mountain, become self- actualized, and then stay there. Instead, Jesus lived his self-actualization in the midst of the human race and taught others how to reach the fullness of their own potential.  Jesus accomplished this through his example, and through his teachings. We owe a huge debt of gratitude to those writers who attempted to capture Jesus’ model and message in the scriptures that have been handed down to us, as well as those that did not quite make the cut (many for obvious political reasons!).  Again, looking past the Institution’s attempt to doctrinize Jesus’ model of psychological and spiritual formation, these are some of the tools Jesus left behind to help us in our own journey toward self-actualization:

  • practices of meditation and prayer which help us to quiet our minds so that we can be open to the higher intelligence that speaks to us in the silence, that guides us, moves us, inspires us, comforts us, heals us.
  • stories which teach us about the call to justice, that speak to us of the importance of compassion and forgiveness, that heal us from our own fears and woundedness, that remind us of our own unique giftedness and the call to share those gifts in the world.
  • The beatitudes – pithy statements that demonstrate for us the natural results of our potential – as we grow toward our human potential, we are naturally poor in spirit, merciful, working for justice, etc.
  • Stories that remind us that first and foremost….we are loved….more than that….we ARE love and that the purpose of the human journey is to remember that love.

Reclaiming Jesus’ path to self-actualization

I am inviting us to set aside the wounds we may have experienced at the hands of religious institutions, to look beyond the veil of dogma and to restore Jesus to his rightful place as psychologist, spiritual director, healer, teacher, and guru.  Let us give ourselves permission to know Jesus anew and to look at his example and teachings through new eyes.  And my prayer is that through this willingness to be open that we might see the truth beyond the words and in Jesus find our own path to self-actualization.

There is No Sin

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Below is an excerpt from my book Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy. Visit my Amazon bookstore to learn more.

If we look carefully at the life and teachings of Jesus, we see that he is inviting us to embrace an image of God that is a departure from the traditional image of the Hebrew religious authorities of his time.  Jesus was constantly being challenged by the religious authorities who believed in a God whose approval needed to be earned.  God’s love was thought to be conditional, at best, and only attainable through strict adherence to the law.  If you were disobedient to the law, you were known to have lost favor with God and were considered to be a “sinner.” 

Jesus invited those “who had ears to hear,” to consider another possibility.  He set forth not only a new image of God, but an entirely new paradigm – a paradigm based on personal relationship and compassion.  Having grown in the knowledge of God’s love and his Oneness with God, Jesus was able to lead us to his understanding as the truth which sets us free.  The God that Jesus knew was a God of unconditional love, compassion and forgiveness.  This is the God that Jesus invites us to embrace.  When we know God in this way, sin is no longer “that which separates us from God,” but merely a symptom of our own false perception of separation.  Jesus explains it this way in the noncanonical gospel of Mary Magdalene:

Peter said to Jesus: “Since you have become the interpreter of the elements and the events of the world, tell us:  What is the sin of the world?”

The Teacher (Jesus) answered, “There is no sin.  It is you who make sin exist, when you act according to the habits of your corrupted nature; this is where sin lies.”

Gospel of Mary Magdalene 7: 11-19

Sin, when viewed in this way, is no longer subject to judgment, but instead invites us into the greater depths of compassion.  “Love the sinner and not the sin,” becomes our mantra.  When sin is looked upon as a symptom of the fears that come about as a result of an unhealed core wound, then all sin becomes an invitation to healing. 

From this perspective, we can now look upon even the Jeffrey Daumers and Charles Mansons of our society with compassion.  This compassion does not excuse their behavior, but it allows us to see the deeper fears within them that drove them to such heinous acts of violence.  In our own journeys, it allows us to let go of the blame, shame and guilt that so often plague our lives.  Our compulsive behaviors (sins) are no longer something to look upon in anguish, but something to treat as a wake-up call to a deeper healing being called forth.  The compulsive behavior becomes the trigger that alerts us to our false sense of separation, to the need for healing, and invites us to name the fear and allow God to heal us of these fears so that we may once again live in the knowledge that we are loved.  In this knowledge of God’s love, we know peace, we know joy and we are able to openly and freely share our gifts in the world.  It is to this place of Oneness that Jesus invites us when he proclaims, “Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand.”  (Matthew 4:17)

Enroll Today!

Learn Authentic Freedom

Authentic Freedom is a protocol and practice developed by Lauri Ann Lumby which supports you in identifying and then healing the fears that have kept you imprisoned by your past wounding and cultural conditioning.

Through recorded lessons, reading, discussion, mindfulness and creativity practices, you will be given the tools to identify, heal and transform the fears that:

There is not enough.
You are insignificant and have nothing of value to offer the world.
You cannot live as our most authentic selves.
You are not loved (or that love has to be earned or can be taken away).
You are not free to express our truth.
You do not know the truth.
You are alone.

At the end of this course, you will have the tools to support you in the continued liberation from your fears and the conditioning that has placed them there.

Reconsidering Jesus

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

This article explores a critically important part of our journey toward self-actualization – the searching stage of spiritual development and how for many Westerners, Jesus has gotten lost along the way and why we don’t need to set him aside in our quest for spiritual fulfillment.

Questioning, Asking, Challenging our Childhood Beliefs

The searching stage of spiritual development is absolutely critical to becoming spiritually and emotionally mature adults.   The searching stage of spiritual development is when we start asking questions:  challenging dogma, doctrine, rules; wanting to find reason in mystery; and wanting to claim our own beliefs over those imposed on us by an outside perceived authority. The searching stage is when we start looking both within and outside the religions of our youth for that which speaks to our heart, that which nourishes and feeds us, and that which might have a bit of reason added to it.  Searching is healthy, necessary and exciting – eventually leading us to spiritual fulfillment and ultimately to our life purpose and mission.  If we don’t search, we are doomed to being a pew potato, doing what we are told and believing what we believe because someone told us to. 

Ripe with Opportunity, Ripe with Dangers

As the symbol of the ouroboros suggests, this time of searching is ripe with opportunities and ripe with dangers.  The opportunities are there to learn and to grow, to mature and evolve.  The dangers, however, require a stout and courageous heart.  Sometimes in the searching, we find that the religion of our youth no longer fits who we truly are.  This is only a danger, however, if we are unduly attached to our childhood religion or to the approval of our tribe (parents, clergy, members of the community, etc.).  The greatest danger in this searching phase of spiritual growth, however, is really the danger to the religious institutions to which we had been affiliated.  It is for this reason that most religious institutions DO NOT provide the tools, the permission, or the processes by which members can effectively searched.  Religious institutions are afraid that if their members search, they will no longer be obedient, and that they might leave.  And people have and continue to leave……in droves.  For men and women raised in Christian traditions, however, there is an even more catastrophic danger of not being supported during this searching stage of spiritual development.  

How Jesus Got Dumped

The catastrophic danger and resulting casualty that I am referring to is the loss of Jesus.  During the searching stage of spiritual development many raised in Christian traditions find fulfillment and meaning in practices from the East (yoga, zen meditation, tai chi, etc.) or in the rituals of Wicca or Native American spirituality, and decide that Jesus is no longer relevant and might even be ridiculous.  Even though the religion of their youth may no longer speak to them or they have found fulfillment in other traditions and practices, that doesn’t mean that Jesus wasn’t a profound teacher, healer and spiritual leader.  Just because our religions have often twisted Jesus’ teachings to further their power agendas doesn’t mean his teachings are not relevant to our spiritual growth and development. We do not need to throw Jesus out with the bathwater.

Reconsidering Jesus

It may be time to reconsider Jesus as a powerful teacher, healer, prophet, spiritual leader, way-shower.  Reconsidering Jesus’ relevance does not mean we have to believe he’s the messiah, was raised from the dead, or even the Son of God…..it just means that we can look beyond the constructs of doctrine and institutional manipulations and see the man for who he really was – a man of purpose who tried to teach us how to love. 

The Devil at the Crossroads

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

The journey toward self-actualization is in fact, one spiritual initiation after another.  Spiritual initiation takes place every time we are faced with an opportunity to remain in the perceived safety and security of what we have known or take another step toward the fulfillment of our life purpose.  The spiritual initiation is successful when we move through the fears and ego attachments that seek to keep us imprisoned within our small selves and away from the expansion we are driven toward by our Soul.  Some of these initiations are small and some are so significantly huge that we soon become aware that we are facing a major crossroad in our life.  It is at these crossroad moments that our spiritual practice becomes even more critical, as does our diligent attention to these practices.

A crossroads occurs when the life we have known has come to an end and the new life has not yet revealed itself.  It is a time ripe with opportunity and danger.  At the crossroads, possibilities seem endless and many opportunities (or twinklings of opportunities) may present themselves.  At this stage, none of these possibilities are yet fully formed, so a decision (or even a discernment) cannot yet be made.  Some of these possibilities will die on the vine.  Some are not in our highest good or reflective of our soul’s purpose and therefore should not be pursued.  And some are just beginning to grow roots so are not yet strong enough to support our unfolding.  For these reasons, pursuing or chasing after possible opportunities prematurely will only end badly.  We will know that the opportunity is not yet ripe if in its pursuit we find it either drawing away, or find ourselves coming up against a brick wall. Instead of requiring effort, opportunities that are ripe and good for the soul will fall into our laps in a miraculous and effortless kind of way.

While the crossroads is ripe with possibility, it is also rife with danger.  This is true for it is at the crossroads where we make our deals with the devil.  At the end of what has been, we are vulnerable and afraid. We have left behind (or are being asked to leave behind) what has been so as to replace it with something that is not yet known.  It is in our human nature to crave surety and to long for “the same.”  When we have neither of these creature comforts, we grow anxious, worried, and fretful.  Often, our first response is to bargain for the old life to be returned.  “Please let me go back to…….(insert relationship, job, home, etc. here)….at least I knew what to expect there.”  But our Soul desires nothing if not growth.  As such, as much as we might want to, we cannot return to that which has already died…or which no longer supports our growth.  (Well….actually we can…..we just end up with a zombie like life along with the constant shame of knowing we are living an unlived life…mind numbing substances and behaviors come in handy here as we try to escape our true feelings about the unlived life we have chosen). 

After bargaining, we must now face the possibilities that lay before us.  Some will be known.  Some will only be twinkles.  And MANY will be the paths which lead us only into the “devil’s trap.”  These are the paths which are ruled by fear and/or which tempt us through our ego attachments.  Those paths ruled by fear are the possibilities that are based in our unhealed and unresolved fears:  fears over money, time, acceptance by others, belonging, etc. etc. etc.  When we choose a path that is ruled by fear (I’m afraid that the path of my Soul won’t make me any money, so I’m going to find a path that insures at least a regular paycheck…..whether or not it has anything to do with my gifts, my mission or my purpose in this life…..), this is the devil’s trap.  The result of choosing this path will only be more fear and a deepening sense of imprisonment.  Those paths ruled by the ego are those which tempt us through our desire for fame, power, control and material wealth…..in other words, “the lifestyles of the rich and famous” – another of the devil’s games.  While fame may be an outcome of pursuing our Soul’s path, this will not be true for all, and the path of our Soul is never driven by our desire for fame. In the quest for the Soul, we must always check our ego at the door.

When we find ourselves at the crossroads we are vulnerable.  We feel insecure and afraid.  The possibilities might seem overwhelming and our fears are running rampant.  The crossroads is the devil’s playground, but it is also the domain of our Soul.  At the crossroads, the Soul is seeking after and longing for its natural movement toward growth and it will not rest until the appropriate path for its growth reveals itself.  Until that happens, the Soul is restless….making us even more vulnerable to the “devil’s trap.” 

At the crossroads, our spiritual practices become even more critical, along with our resilience in the face of temptation and our diligence in tending to these practices.  While at the crossroads we must not act, pursue, chase after or be tempted to make something happen.  Neither should we make any decision based in fear or arising out of the ego.  Instead, there is only ONE THING we can do when standing at the crossroads….and that is WAIT. Wait and watch.  Observe and discern.  And when the waiting and inaction become excruciating (which they will)….we wait some more.  For it is at the crossroad where we endure the greatest of all tests in our spiritual initiation …the test of whether we can wait long enough for the path of our Soul to arrive and the next stage of our life to begin.

Learn more HERE

Soul School Asks You:

  • What are the dreams and passions that inspire you?
  • What gives you a sense of meaning and purpose?
  • What leaves you feeling content and deeply fulfilled?
  • What sets your heart aflame and fills you with joy?
  • What is your unique gift to the world?
  • What is standing in the way of you living the meaningful, fulfilling, joyful, inspired life of your dreams?

Soul School helps you answer these questions and then supports you in overcoming the fears, unhealed wounds, vulnerabilities, past traumas, and conditioning that are keeping you from living a meaningful, joyful, fulfilling, and inspired life!

The Truth That Sets You Free

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

The second lesson from my online course “Overcoming Obstacles with Authentic Freedom.” In this sample lesson from my course, you will learn the ultimate Truth of the human experience, why we are here, and what we are invited to know/remember. Authentic Freedom provides the resources, tools, protocol and platform from healing ourselves of the core wound of separation so that we can remember our true origin in wholeness and love.

As a course participant recently shared:

“Dear Lauri, I have just listened to the 8mins and 44 seconds of your Core Wound lecture. In my view that is the most powerful, succinct, inspiring and clear description of what I have been trying to learn for the last 6 years (and maybe the 30 years before then 😊). Each sentence is a powerful quote on its own, the combination is mind blowing. It is just brilliant and the world needs to hear those 8 minutes. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience what I have just experienced. Love and Blessings to you.”

To learn more about Authentic Freedom and our return to wholeness, check out my website at http://www.lauriannlumby.com.

Living by Magic

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

My primary influences as a child were Samantha Stevens and Morticia Addams. To my young girl self, they provided a reflection of my truest nature. I saw in them the power of independence and inner authority along with the magic that I knew was in me, despite what the world would say otherwise.
I’ve always known I was magic and that like Samantha, I had the power to bring forth what I needed seemingly by magic. It is only cultural conditioning that has caused me to doubt my magic, or to act in ways compliant with the rules of a world separated from its truest nature.


We are all magic. Magic is a function of our true nature. We are magic because our true nature is Divine. We are the living, breathing, physical manifestations of Source – that which some call God. It is only in our conditioned state of separation that we would believe otherwise.


I’m here to prove this conditioning wrong.


Magic is another word for Love. Divine Love. The Love that is the Source of all. The Love that is the intelligent force of the universe bringing forth infinite expressions of that Love. The Love that lives, and dwells within us and seeks to be known by us and lived in the world through us. The purpose of the human experience is to remember that Love and to experience the inherent magic that comes forth from us when we are aligned with Love.


The even greater truth is that Magic comes forth from us even when we are not aligned with Love. Love operates on a dimension beyond division. As such, even our fears, doubts, unhealed wounds, and past traumas cannot infringe on that which is intended by Love for our life’s unfolding. We are Love experiencing Love’s Self in the world through the unique expression of Love that we are. The greater Love has a vision, a knowledge, a plan as to how this unique expression of self shall be in the world. As such, everything that occurs in our lives is a function and plan of that Love. It is only our conditioned separation that causes us to see it elsewise.


When we are aligned with this Love we are able to see how everything is a part of Love’s unfolding through us.

It is here that we can be witness to Magic. Witnessing our lives through the lens of Magic helps us to see how every disappointment, challenge, loss, heartbreak, betrayal has served a higher purpose. We can see how the suffering in our lives has created opportunities to gather strength and to gain acceptance of our humanness. Suffering also provides us with important lessons in humility and helps us to grow in empathy and compassion for the suffering of others. Viewing our life through the lens of Magic also helps us to see the miracle and wonder in those gifts that seem to come out of thin air. Synchronistic meetings and encounters. Doorways that open to new experiences for learning and growth. Work and creative opportunities that land in our laps. When the right teacher arrives at exactly the right time. When our whole life turns on a dime because of a single conversation, engagement, or introduction. When our poverty suddenly turns to abundance and when our suffering instantaneously turns to joy.


Magic is the true nature of the Universe and I’m grateful for Samantha Stevens and Morticia Addams for showing me that magic and for other teachers who have collectively shown me the way to living by that magic.


“Amen, amen, I say to you,
the one who believes as I do
will also do the works that I do,
and indeed will do even greater ones than these.”
-Jesus

Acceptance is an Aspect of Forgiveness

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Forgive, but never forget!  And….let go of any idea that what you’re trying to “forgive” will ever completely go away.

Sometimes, we can’t just “let it go.” We can move through the pain and heal it….bit by bit by bit.  With some wounds (betrayals, deceptions, etc.) we can heal from most of the pain. With others, especially those of the deepest and most indelible nature, some of the wound may always remain.

It was once suggested to me by a trusted advisor, that with one wound in particular (that related to me being essentially excommunicated by the Catholic Church) I should just let it go. I’ve given a lot of prayerful consideration to her suggestion. It’s not that I disagree with her. Instead, I recognize that I, alone, do not have the power to be completely free of this wound. How can one be free of a wound where there has never been and will likely never be an apology or closure? I’m not closed to the fact that Grace might step in and I will suddenly find myself free of the hurt, the anger, the disappointment, the betrayal, and the heartache. Grace, however, is not something I can do for myself. I have learned that true Grace only comes from God (our own understanding of that which some might call “God.”)

Instead of placing pressure on myself or entertaining the finger of shame for not being able to “let it go,” I have chosen acceptance.  I accept the invitation to continue the work of healing. I accept responsibility for my part in the healing. I accept the possibility of some miraculous intervention that might fully free me of the wound. I accept the very real possibility that I may never be fully free of this wound and that there will likely be situations, experiences, conversations, TV shows, news articles, social media posts, etc. that might trigger that wound, inviting me into another layer of healing.

Acceptance, I believe, is its own kind of forgiveness. It allows us to hold ourselves in compassion and loving care as we continue to allow the healing, without heaping pressure on ourselves to have to be perfectly healed. Acceptance means tending to the parts over which I have some measure of control, surrendering to that over which I have no control, and being at peace with my current state of being – whatever that may be.

It’s ok to be human and hurting. It is often through our own vulnerability and pain that we are able to be a source of compassionate care toward ourselves and then toward others.

The above is an entry from Lauri’s upcoming book, Unseen – the Memoir of an Invisible Woman. Find Lauri’s other books on Amazon.com HERE.

Being Made Empty

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Sacred living is a commitment to many things, but at the heart of it is the calling to be made empty of all that hinders our ability to know, become filled with, and live as Divine Love (capital “L” Love).  In this process we are allowing ourselves to let go of and be emptied of all those things within us that are not reflective of Love and which hinder our ability to know Love fully and live Love freely.

Jesus accomplished this and provided a model for us to follow:

Christ, though he was in the form of God,
    did not regard equality with God
    as something to be exploited,
but emptied himself,
    taking the form of a slave,
    being born in human likeness.
And being found in human form,
    he humbled himself
    and became obedient to the point of death—
    even death on a cross.

2 Phil 6-8

Thankfully, few of us will be asked to die on a cross, but Jesus provides an example of the ongoing and complete nature of the emptying.  Emptying ourselves of that which is not of Love so we can embody increasingly more Love is the process of a lifetime, one that is not complete until we leave this body behind. As Jesus showed us, the final emptying happens at the moment of death when none of our human self remains, and all that we are now is Love. 

Perhaps ad nauseum, I have expounded upon all the ways we are invited to be made empty.  Emptied of our fears, false perceptions, ego attachments, compulsive behaviors, unhealed wounds, past traumas, and non-loving (guilt-driven) societal conditioning.  When we begin this journey of emptying, we often begin on the surface – those behavior traits, compulsions, defense mechanisms, etc. that are obvious in our lives which hinder our ability to live freely and at peace. As we continue the emptying, however, the journey becomes more subtle and obtuse.  Things we might not have thought of as obstacles to Love – such as guilt, shame, addictions to negative emotional patterns or thoughts, etc.  We may, in fact, have thought these things as helpful in our path to Love – at least that’s what we’ve been told. 

When we are actively and doing the work of emptying with purpose and through our own self-direction, there is a sense of empowerment that comes in “fighting our demons.” As we move deeper into this work, however, the going gets tougher and we find that we are no longer driving the “demon slaying bus.”  Instead, it seems as if we are being dragged kicking and screaming.  (I know you know of what I speak.)   It is at this time that we must harness our courage, turning toward “the beast” while walking right into it. 

Let me provide an example:  Recently, I have been invited into another layer of deep emptying.  I didn’t immediately recognize it, however, and instead found myself kicking and flailing my way through a party being thrown by all my deepest compulsions.  When the party became a beating (metaphorically), and I felt my soul crumble, and after taking a few days to wallow in my broken pride, I woke up.  “Oh, I’m being invited into another layer of being made empty and I had been trying to fill up/run away from that emptying.  DUH!”  Armed with a lifetime of experience in facing down demons, I turned toward the darkness and walked into it.  As I write this post, I am sitting in that darkness, allowing the emptying to continue knowing that I will find another layer of freedom on the other side.  I won’t lie and say I don’t have an enormous amount of anxiety sitting in this darkness – I do.  What I also know is that there is always fear in the darkness and terror in the face of the unknown.  I also know that it is only in sitting in and with that terror, that it will find its release.

Being made empty is no easy task, which is likely why few are willing and able to do it.  Being made empty is also the only way we can be made free of what hinders our journey to Love.  For the sake of Love, I believe the emptying is totally worth it.

What is Self-Actualization?

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Self-actualization is the purpose of the human experience.  It is for the purpose of becoming self-actualized that we are here.  Self-actualization is the origin of and the fulfillment of our every longing and desire. We are here for no other purpose than to fulfill this longing.

The drive to become self-actualized moves beyond our survival instincts, yet it is no less critical.  It is the longing to find the answer to three basic questions:

  • Who am I?
  • Whose am I?
  • What are my gifts and how am I called to use them?

Who am I?

Self-knowledge is the foundational search in the drive and journey toward self-actualization.  We long to know who we are – who we really are.  Who are we beyond the societal conditioning, tribal rules, the girl code and the man code that have attempted to define us?  What are our interests, our personal needs and desires?  How do we wish to move about this world?  The Who Am I question encompasses every aspect of who we are – our personality, temperament, what gives us joy, pleasure, fulfillment? What triggers fear in me or insecurity?  What are my wounds?  What are the things about which I am ashamed?  What in me is in need of healing?  The process of finding out who we are includes naming and claiming every hurt, betrayal, condemnation, criticism, etc. that has covered up our real and true self and healing them so that our true self can emerge. 

Whose am I?

This question encompasses a broad range of meanings.  For some, this is the “God” question.  What do we believe in?  Are we aware of a source (seemingly) outside of us that is there as a guide, companion, counselor, healing, teacher, helper, source of comfort and support?  What do we believe about this Source (more importantly, what resonates as truth for us relevant to this Source)?  For many, the “God” they come to believe in through the process of self-actualization is far different from the God they were taught to believe in.  This is a good thing.  Self-Actualization leads us out and away from our conditioning to our own set of beliefs. 

“Whose am I” is also a question about belonging.  As human beings, we thrive in community and it is important to have a circle of people who love and support us in our journey of inner growth and development.  Who is your tribe?  In the process of self-actualization the tribe you began with will likely differ greatly from the one you eventually claim as your own.  Again, this is a good thing.  As we move toward self-actualization, we release the relationships that are no longer life giving and replace them with deeply intimate and meaningful partnerships with those we know will always have our back.

What are my gifts and how am I called to use them?

Each and every one of us are uniquely gifted to find meaning and purpose in our life and are driven to share these gifts for the sake of our own fulfillment and in service to the betterment of the world.  EVERY ONE OF US!  No one is exempt from this.  Our journey toward self-actualization sets us on the course to discovering, cultivating, nurturing and eventually sharing our gifts.  Whether we are gifted as a teacher, artist, counselor, salesperson, craftsperson, healer, comforter, helper, administrator, strategist, trouble shooter, advocate, peacemaker, entertainer, performer, listener, observer, reformer, prophet, mercy giver, servant of the poor, or one who has been gifted with the need to be the recipient of these gifts, we all have something to offer.  Sometimes our greatest gifts are wrapped up in our brokenness.  It is often through what we consider as our greatest weaknesses that we are best able to serve.  The journey toward self-actualization takes us through the path of discerning our gifts and supports us in finding ways to share them.

Why do we care?

While the drive to become self-actualized is universal, very few ever attain the fulfillment of this drive.  In order to become self-actualized, we have to awaken to the voice of our truest self while silencing the cacophony of voices that come to us from every direction except from the direction of our truth. We have to let go of familiar ways of being so that we might embrace the new life that self-actualization brings.  We have to take lots of risks, including the risk of rejection.  BUT…….if we do not heed the longing of our soul to become self-actualized, we will never find satisfaction in this life.  We will forever be stranded in our current state of suffering, always longing and hungering for something more, seeking temporary satisfaction in things outside of us – like other people’s approval, possessions, fame, power and control, and yet never finding the fulfillment that we are actually seeking which can only come from within. 

Full Year Program Supporting Self-Actualization

What is Spiritual Counseling?

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

  • Who am I? 
  • How do I connect with and comprehend the presence and action of the Divine in my life? 
  • What are my gifts and how am I being called to engage in them for the sake of my own fulfillment and share them for the sake of the betterment of our world? 

These are the questions that find their answers through the sacred ministry of Spiritual Counseling/Spiritual Direction – perhaps the most ancient form of life coaching.  Since the advent of human consciousness, we have sought the answers to our life questions, often through the elders and “holy people” of our respective spiritual traditions.  The Guru’s of India, the Rabbi’s of Judaism, the monks of Buddhism, the Shaman of indigenous tribes, and the men and women religious of Christianity represent merely the tip of the iceberg of those that have served as companion and guide on our spiritual journeys.  These “wisdom teachers” have served as witness to the truths that we already know, holding up the mirror for us to see what we are perhaps unable or unwilling to see for ourselves.   This style of Spiritual Counseling often required years upon years of training and required the seeker to travel great distances to obtain the answers to the questions of their heart.

Another form of Spiritual Counseling is that which comes through what the Irish would call “Anam Cara” – soul friend.  A soul friend is an intimate and trusted friend who is able to journey with us from a place of truth, acceptance and courageous honesty.  These are the intimate friendships that provide a vessel in which we can be our truest selves and, in the process, discover our deeper truths.  In the Anam Cara relationship, we are able to help each other name our respective “demons” and work together to find the tools to give them release.  Sometimes, the role of Anam Cara is to simply be with each other in our grief, sorrow, struggles and fears.  The role of Anam Cara requires no training or previous experience.  It simply asks us to be present and to hold each other in love.

The third form of Spiritual Counseling/Spiritual Direction, and the form that I practice professionally, lands somewhere between Anam Cara and Wisdom Teacher.  In this form of Spiritual Counseling, my role is to journey with my clients as they seek the answers to the deepest questions of their heart.  Clients are empowered to discover their truth and to find the tools through which they are able to openly give their truth its expression.  As such, Spiritual Counseling becomes a journey of discovery and a vehicle for healing; for it is often our inner wounds that prevent us from hearing and giving voice to the truths that are locked deep inside of us. 

That which is brought to Spiritual Counseling encompasses the vast and varied territories of our everyday existence – relationships, jobs, passions and hobbies, parenting, life transitions, losses and grieving, our physical wellness (or lack thereof), our emotional wellbeing, and last but not least, our spiritual journeys. 

Spiritual Counseling can look a lot like traditional talk-therapy, and there are two primary differences.  In talk therapy, the goal is often behavior modification.  Spiritual Counseling goes beyond behavior modification to discover the deeper spiritual wound that created the unhealthy behavior in the first place.  Once this wound is uncovered, Spiritual Counseling offers effective tools through which this wound can now be healed.  The tools through which these wounds are healed are intimately connected with our relationship to our Divine Source.  This connection with the God of our understanding is the other factor that sets Spiritual Counseling apart.  This relationship with God becomes the ground upon which authentic healing work can now be accomplished.  As such, it is often in discovering and cultivating this relationship where the work of Spiritual Counseling begins.  

Having participated in both sides of the Spiritual Counseling relationship, I can attest to the power of this form of life coaching.  Thanks to my own Spiritual Counselor, I have gained access to the deepest truths of my being, while finding release from the fears that have prevented me from sharing these truths in the world.  In my own role of Spiritual Counselor, I have witnessed healing, transformation and emerging truth for the clients with whom I have had the privilege to companion.  Those who have been honest and diligent in the process have found the answers to the questions of their heart and have been empowered to freely and openly live their truth in the world. 

In the end, the goal of Spiritual Counseling may be summarized by this quote from one of my favorite wisdom teachers: “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free!” (John 8: 32)

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Spiritual Counseling with Lauri Ann Lumby includes:

  • Personality, Temperament, and Gifts Assessments.
  • Exploration of the Soul’s calling.
  • Uncovering and transforming the obstacles to living out that calling through a variety of mindfulness, creativity, and shamanic practices including Lauri’s trademarked Authentic Freedom™ protocol.
  • Depth work – identifying ungrieved losses, unhealed wounds, past traumas, ancestral trauma, and learning shamanic practices for transforming and releasing them.
  • Shadow work – uncovering the unintegrated and often rejected parts of self and bringing them into wholeness.
  • Ongoing support.