Spiritual Practice

Humanity’s Only Hope

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

As humanity approaches the brink of its own extinction, my thoughts have turned to a single question: What if anything will save them? The answer is simple but is likely not something humanity wants to hear or do because the answer lies, not outside of them, but within.

Along with casting blame outside of them, humanity also loves projecting solutions. They’re waiting for a messiah, a savior, the Second Coming – really anyone other than themselves to fix what is wrong and make everything right again.

The problem is that humanity did this to themselves by forgetting who they are while denying the inherent power they have within. Instead, they have attributed this power to gods, kings, priests, and popes. In this grand forfeiture, humanity created a hierarchy assigning value according to one’s place within the hierarchy, leaving most human beings out of the equation – thereby reducing themselves to slaves.

Humanity has become enslaved to the very people they gave their power to. The only way out of this imprisonment is for humanity to take their own power back, by remembering who they are. (Change NEVER comes from those who benefit from keeping humanity small.)

Remembering who we are, however, is easier said than done. It’s not something you can purchase from the latest new age teacher or shaman, neither is it something that can be completed in a weekend workshop or retreat. Instead, true remembrance can only be accomplished through a many-years long practice requiring discipline, persistence, diligence, and radical personal accountability.

Remembering who we are is a slow and patient process of identifying and stripping away the layers of who we are not in order to uncover the treasure of who we are. Then we have to practice what we are remembering until it is no longer just a practice, but becomes fully integrated within us.

Remembering who we are leads us to answering the following questions:

  • Who am I?
  • Whose am I?
  • What are my unique gifts and how am I called to engage in them for my own fulfillment and then share them for the betterment of the world?

In a nutshell, remembering who we are is about identifying our gifts and then healing the infinite number of layers of woundedness, trauma, betrayal, rejection, and societal conditioning that has told us we aren’t gifted and our gifts don’t matter (have no value).

Remembering our gifts requires radical accountability, humility, and the willingness to be vulnerable. In this search, we become aware of the defense mechanisms we have honed so that we might have the illusion of being safe in an unsafe world. Those defense mechanisms might include: jealousy, self-righteousness, prejudice, racism (conscious or unconscious), sexism, a compulsion toward revenge, pride, manipulation, and more. We are also invited to explore our own place within the hierarchy and the privilege we gain from that, along with how we might use that privilege to elevate ourselves while repressing others.

Remembering who we are is the true hero’s journey. It takes courage, determination (often to the point of being stubborn), and the willingness to learn from our failures.  Because, fail we will. Remembering and Being/Living are two different things.

Failure is predictable. When we gain a glimpse of remembrance, all our resistance to change rises up to challenge us. More than death, humanity fears change. As such, we cling to our defense mechanisms, we hang on to the status quo, we are terrified at the prospect of losing who and what we know.

Loss is integral to the journey of remembrance. More specifically – letting go. In order to live more and more fully as our true selves, we must let go of all that which hinders that remembrance.  This includes friends, jobs, relationships, places of perceived belonging, perceived status, etc. While we may find some measure of comfort in the familiar, there is no liberation or freedom there.

If humanity truly wants to be free, it must remember itself because at the heart of this remembrance is LOVE. Love, more than anything, is who we are. When we remember the Love that we are, it changes everything – how we move in the world, how we treat fellow human beings, how we come together in cooperation as a species, and how we treat our world.

Love is humanity’s only hope and is the key for each individually to find contentment in this life regardless of what is happening “out there.”

Preparing for Splashdown

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

As I write this, I am coming off a morning of relentless “spiritual 911” calls. Those who have my private number, checking in with the same set of “symptoms,” and wondering if the cause of the symptoms is their own, or relating to the world. And wondering, what, if anything, they can do about it.

The short answer: it is most definitely the world.

The longer answer: a certain someone can step on their own d*ck only so many times before toppling over onto their own house of cards. This Sunday’s actions herald the beginning or perhaps the end) of the end. Whether by Congress, or the Supreme Court, or by some other yet to be revealed source, the pressure cooker in which we’ve been living is coming to an end.

The anxiety that so many are currently feeling is at once, the natural trepidation over what all will be destroyed as the end draws near, and the very real knowledge of the conflicting cavalcade of emotions roiling about in preparation for what is soon to be.

The what will be is two-fold: a complete and total meltdown of a system that has imprisoned humanity for thousands of years and the simultaneous splashdown of a whole new world and way of living together as human beings.

That is…..if “he” doesn’t destroy us all first.

The if, what, and how of the meltdown/splashdown is not ours to know. It is not something for which we can plan. The only thing we can do is be with what is as it is unfolding. As we are being with the unfolding, we are invited to be sources of healing and support for ourselves and others. The “what is” and “what will be” is not personal. It is simply the throes of a system  facing its own death. As sensitive human beings, however, we will be feeling it:  anxiety, pressure, headaches, body pain, restlessness, impatient, sorrowful, angry, even depressed. That which arises in us is a bit of our own fear, but more likely it is the feelings of the collective. Whether it is ours or belongs to someone else, we are not powerless.  Instead, this is our invitation to become empowered.

Here are some practices I have found to be helpful as the world is working out its own shit:

  1. Witness: I have learned that these energies are ours to fix or heal. Instead, they simply want to be seen and acknowledged. When feeling the rise of anxiety or pressure, close your eyes, envision the fear, anxiety, grief, etc. in your minds eye…..and just look at it. No judgement – just witnessing and acknowledging. As we bear it witness, it eventually dissipates and we are restored to peace.
  2. Nothing is Personal: These discordant energies, for the most part, are not our own. These are the manifestation of collective consciousness (what some might call demons)  – the energies that have arisen out of 5000 years of human enslavement which are losing their power over us. These energies have become “living things” intent on their own survival – they don’t give up easily. And yet, Love is winning, and these energies are losing their power. As they are preparing for their departure, they are making themselves known. Think of these “demons” you are feeling as asking you to see them as they say goodbye. (Don’t let the screen door hit you on the ass as you leave little demons!  Bye!)
  3. It’s just a movie: I don’t mean this to be dismissive of the very real feelings we are having as the world around us implodes. But when we allow ourselves to cultivate detachment, we are able to distance ourselves a bit from the intensity. I find it helpful to think of it like watching a movie. I mean, seriously, art has been showing us all along where we are going and life itself has become more ridiculous than art. I did not have a war between POTUS and Pope on my 2026 bingo card! It’s actually kind of hilarious. I just wonder, is it a Divine Comedy or a Comedy of Errors. Maybe both! 
  4. You are not alone: Check in with your team/tribe/support system. If you are feeling off, overwhelmed, terrified as the system burns itself to the ground, seek support. It may be as simply as texting a close friend, “Hey, are you feeling this too or am I losing my mind?”  Most likely, it’s the former. And if your trusted friend circle isn’t enough, reach out to a professional you trust.
  5. Prepare for Splashdown: As the old world continues its dying, the new world is coming into form. At this point, we have no idea what this new world will look like, or what our roles will be in that world. We can, however, be attentive in our own lives to what is asking to leave so that room can be made for the new. We are also invited to pay attention, specifically to what feeds us and gives us joy – and be more of that. Every decision we make, not out of fear, but out of love, joy, and compassion, becomes a seed from which the new will take root and come into being.
  6. More than anything – BE LOVE. Be love to yourself. Be love to your loved ones. And most difficult of all – be LOVE to your (perceived) enemies. We may find ourselves surprised at who people become on the other side of this collapse and the love that they might need. Even the AntiChrist longs to know Love.

Universal (Personal) Jesus

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 4 Comments

As we are approaching Easter, thoughts of Jesus are running through my head. Who was Jesus? Who IS Jesus? Was Jesus real? Was he made up? Is he “Savior?” and if so, for whom? These are the questions that get batted around in theological circles. People have gone to war over these questions. People have been killed for answering these questions “incorrectly.” And yet, after 2000+ years, there is no conclusive answer to these questions – except those which men have created into dogma. But who’s to say any of that is even true?

To me, none of this matters. Whether Jesus was or wasn’t, lived or died, was crucified died and rose again, or is planning to return has zero impact on my faith. Why? Because faith transcends belief while defying logic.

As I am equally romantic and pragmatic, I can allow all answers to be true. I can also allow for them to be false. Because, at the end of the day, we have very little verifiable, scientific evidence to prove any of it. Instead, all we really have is faith. Not what others have told us to believe. Instead, what do we personally believe about Jesus? What have/has been our own personal experiences of Jesus (if any)?

For me, the answer to this question begins with scripture – both canonical and non-canonical. Whereas scripture has been traditionally contained within the doctrinal jurisdiction of religion, my experience is that scripture transcends religion. As an historical work, containing the pseudo-history of a people, scripture provides a narrative within a specific context. Scripture is worthy of study simply for this purpose. Understanding who wrote the different books of the bible, when they were written, their audience, the genre utilized, and the purpose of the author’s writings gives us insight into the tribal, theological, and religious/liturgical evolution of a people. Approached through a pseudo-scientific lens, scripture provides much insight into the Hebrew people who later named themselves Israelites, and into the experiences of the people within that tribe who later called Jesus their teacher and how his presence altered the trajectory of their lives. All of this is worthy of studying.

If we want to know who Jesus is for us personally, however, we have to move beyond the simple reading of scripture. Neither, can we know Jesus simply by what someone else has told us, regardless of who that someone might be. For me, this personal Jesus came through dedicated attention to the methods of prayer, contemplation, and discernment favored by St. Ignatius of Loyola. These approaches to prayer allow for direct communication between Source (God) and ourselves. Through this prayer, what I have uncovered (as have many others before me) is the possibility of a Universal Jesus – one who speaks Truth to all people regardless of their religion, or personal beliefs.

One does not have to proclaim Jesus Christ their personal Lord and Savior
to receive the benefits of his teachings.

To say otherwise, is proclaiming oneself as higher than God. Who are we to declare that God has ONE chosen people or to suggest there is but one path to being saved? Salvation, I have learned, is simply a matter of perspective – have we found a way to equanimity in the midst of the human condition or have we damned ourselves to suffering?

Beyond anything else, Jesus teaches us how to find peace, contentment, and even joy in the midst of the challenges and difficulties of being human. Whether heaven is here on earth, or on some other plane, is up to us to decide. Jesus shows us how to choose the former. Even if we hope for paradise on the other side of this life, Jesus’ deepest message is how to find paradise here. You will not find these teachings in any church’s doctrine. They can only be found within.

To me, the Universal Jesus is one that came to understand the message of LOVE at the heart of the Judaism in which he was raised. He came to understand the highest Truth taught – that all of creation is an expression of this Love/God and that we are all ONE with this Love. Jesus learned how to remember and embody this Love. He then sought to teach others how to do the same:

The Love (kingdom) of God is within you.

His message is truly this simple. YOU ARE LOVE. Remembering this Truth helps us to find peace.  Right here.  Right now.  (And maybe even more completely when we fully return to Source after we have finished this life).

Immobilized

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Exploring Healer Fatigue and Empath Paralysis

Since February 28, 2026, when the US and Israel launched their war against Iran, I have found myself immobile – unable to accomplish anything other than what is absolutely essential. Somedays, even the essentials are left on the sidelines. It’s not that I’m fixated on the war, perseverating over what is happening along with the possible outcomes, or even actively worried.

Being made immobile is just another symptom of being an empath and a healer.

I can’t help it. Even when I tell myself, “I’m accomplishing this today,” I find I cannot. I can’t say that I’m depressed or even anxious. Instead, I am simply aware that as humanity is trying to destroy itself, my BEING is actively working on behalf of this suicidal species.

All the oil in the world is not worth the wholesale destruction of a nation – especially as the US and Israel are actively destroying the very oil they say they are after. I call foul! We know this war isn’t about oil. Neither is it about Iran’s “oppressive” regime. The ones truly in need of regime change are those who shot the first shot. I digress…

My point is that if you are an empath, a healer, a lightworker, you may also be finding yourself immobilized – Unable to do – only allowed to BE.

As much as I want to deny or ignore the “whoo whoo” that would even suggest such a thing could be possible, I am increasingly finding it is the only thing that truly makes sense. As a practical, hard-working, first-born Capricorn, I have taken great pride in my ability to be productive – to get things done, and to be somewhat in control of my fate. All these points of pride have flown out the window the closer we come to human extinction.

Instead:

I have had to become excruciatingly comfortable with doing nothing, while believing in the invisible magic of simply being. With zero tangible evidence, I have had to rely on the faith that all this doing of nothing is amounting to something. I have had to force myself to trust that while it may appear as if I’m unproductive, I am being used for some higher purpose. Without knowing what I’m doing, how it’s being done, or what the impact may or may not be, I have had to believe that all will be well – especially when every material example says otherwise. Because no matter the amount of effort or thought I put into DOING – every effort has failed.

These are the days I wish someone would wave a magic wand and I would simply and confidently believe that as I am immobilized, a higher purpose is being fulfilled. My intention has always been to be a vessel through which Love can be made real in our world, and my prayer has been, “I am the servant of the Lord Love. Let it be done to me according to your word.” Perhaps this is my prayer being answered.

Freeing Ourselves from Demons

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

I want to start out by saying I do not believe in “demons” in the classical sense of a dude in a red unitard sporting horns and carrying a pitchfork. Instead, I perceive of demons more in the psychological sense of fears, both inside and outside of us, that influence our beliefs, our actions, and our behaviors. These are the fears that have arisen from within us in response to all the things we have seen and experienced that have made us forget our original nature as Love. These fears manifest as “demons” in both a microcosmic and macrocosmic sense – the former as our own personal non-loving beliefs and behaviors, the latter manifesting as organizations and institutions who get their (perceived) power through these fears.

It was the latter that I bore witness to this past weekend and from which, on this fourth day, I am only just recovering. For the sake of the innocent, I will simply say this – I attended an event that throughout the duration, I felt the overwhelming need to flee. Being there for the sake of people very dear to me, I made myself stay, all the while finding myself cringing inside from an energy I couldn’t quite identify. I witnessed and heard things that made me want to scream and other things that broke my heart. I witnessed very little (of what I would call) truth and a lot of what I would call lies. I chastised myself for “being so judgmental” while also experiencing deep confusion over what I thought I knew. It took all of my personal energy to sit still and remain silent (mostly) in the face of what – at the time – I couldn’t quite name. When the event came to its conclusion, I hugged those dear to me and left. I have spent the last four days recovering and trying to make sense of what I had experienced.

Here’s the instructional part of this writing:

There are so many ways I could have responded to this experience. I could have simply wrapped my own blanket of self-righteousness around me, making myself right and what I witnessed wrong. I could have made the decision to close my heart’s door to the hosts of the event, brushing them off as “evil” or “ignorant.” I could have chased down friends of like mind to help me make sense of the overwhelming confusion I felt. I could have gone home and just remained sick and depressed. Instead, I brought the entire experience into my prayer. This was the first reminder I received:

Confusion is the work of the devil.

Confusion isn’t a failure on my part, or a result of me not understanding or agreeing to something. Confusion is a symptom of “the devil” (ie fear) at work. So I brought this confusion into my prayer. I sat with it. I felt it. I drew myself into it. I asked it to show me what was at the heart of this confusion.  As I sat with the confusion, I eventually saw the fear, along with what some had wrapped around themselves in an attempt to absolve themselves of this fear. FEAR imprisoned behind a mask of religious zeal, perceived certainty, righteousness, and exclusivity.

Once I identified the confusion, the fear behind it, and the bars behind which the fear was imprisoned, all the “ick” I had been feeling simply lifted from my being. I felt clear and my peace was restored, and with that my own temptation to judge was replaced with compassion. I immediately felt deeply sad for those who have become imprisoned by their fear and have forgotten the infinite Truth of Love. I then brought MYSELF into my prayer – so that I might be freed of my own temptation to judge, to divide, to proclaim a monopoly on truth, and to sit on my own throne of self-righteousness. At the end of the day, who am I to “judge” how others respond to fear. If containment gives someone peace, then who am I to project my own compulsion for unlimited freedom onto them?

Because here’s the real deal with demons – what we judge outside of ourselves is a reflection of what still needs healing within ourselves, and sometimes we can’t see it in ourselves until it is standing right in front of us. Hello mirror!

Another note about “demons.” Sometimes what we call judgment isn’t judgment at all, but is our inner truth barometer (discernment) alerting us to things around us that are not in alignment with our own truth. Perhaps this was what I was feeling at this event more than anything else – a felt sense within me of misalignment. I’m not wrong. They’re not wrong. I was simply feeling that their truth was not my truth and I can honor that. I don’t need to defend my truth. Neither do I need to point out the “error” in theirs. I can be witness to the Love that is present even (especially) when it is being lived out differently than mine. Because – at the end of the day, we are all afraid and demons exist only in our minds. We decide what power we give to them, or if instead, we hold them in Love.

For additional training in overcoming “demons”

Deepening

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

It is said that the Magdalene spent her final years in prayer. So too, then, shall I.

It is time. Not for escape, or retreat, but for deepening. Entering into the heart of the world where the cause of all division lies. Pulling away from the noise of external symptoms (ie distractions) and focusing instead on what lies beneath.  Daring to resist the temptation of believing change is affected by what we do and how we show up “out-there.”

Instead, understanding that the source of unrest is not in human behavior, but arises out of our wounds.

It is true – we are broken. But not in the way religions have told us. Not because we have done anything wrong – but because of what has been done to us. By our conditioning. Through our upbringing. In the simple choice of being human.

Suffering is the natural consequence of the human experiment.

But to this we are not condemned. Source is forever calling us back to our original nature as Love and revealing to us the way.

If only we would accept this gift – or rather, not run from it as soon as the going gets tough. As every teacher has shown us, the way to Love is hard – but it is the only way to truly be free in this life.

Love is our mission and our purpose. For humanity, there is literally nothing else.

So into Love I go, not for my own sake, but for the sake of humanity. Diving deep into humanity’s darkest “sins” in search of the wounds beneath the behaviors that are seeking to be healed. Diving deep with the soul of an exorcist, holding humanity in its pain, witnessing to their shattered natures, giving voice to what dare not be spoken, and bathing it all in Love.

It is to this that my Soul is calling me.

If individuals seek me out, so be it. I welcome them. I do not, however, promise ease. The way is hard and to say otherwise would be a lie. Pride works hard to imprison us in our deepest wounds by defending our delusions. Love is not like this. Love seeks only to bring all our pain into our awareness so that it may be seen, transformed, and released.

Love is not a journey for the faint of heart, or for those comfortable in their status quo. Neither is it a journey for the “rich” – unless they are willing to loosen the grip on what they cling to so dearly.

  • Love is simple.
  • Love is kind.
  • Love is generous.
  • Love is quiet and unobtrusive.
  • Love is gentle in its effect, but relentless in its cause.

So into the depths I go because it is not what we do “out there” that matters. Instead, it is all about what we are doing within. As one of humanity’s greatest teachers taught us, “The freedom (Truth, Love,) we seek can only be found within.”

Not for the Masses

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

For years I have struggled to understand and make peace with the reality that very few people are attracted to the Magdalene work that I provide, and even fewer complete it. Now I get it:

The Magdalene is not for the masses!

While likely hundreds of books have been published in her name and a similar number of online resources are available, many of which offer their own versions of “Magdalene training” or offer retreats and pilgrimages in the name of the Magdalene, it is not to the resources and support I provide where people tend to gravitate. Formerly, I took this personally. Now, I acknowledge it as a victory of sorts – a victory, not for myself, but a victory for those who are called to the work I facilitate, especially to those who complete it.

The work of the Magdalene was never meant to be easy. Neither is it something to be entered into lightly for the purposes of puffing up the ego or making oneself feel special. If it was a challenge for Mary, who earned the title of Magdalene through her commitment to and mastery of these teachings, so shall it be for those who courageously embark upon this journey.

It was not to the masses, nor to the other disciples that the risen Christ was revealed. Neither were any of the other disciples ordained to continue the depth work facilitated by Jesus. It was only to Mary, called Magdalene, that these things were given.

The work of the Magdalene is hard. It requires discipline, tenacity, persistence, and a 100% commitment to radical personal accountability. The journey Mary completed under Jesus’ tutelage revealed to her the path through which one is able to overcome the inner demons (fears, unhealed wounds, societal conditioning) that prevent one from knowing their true nature as Love in Union with the All. With single-minded focus, Mary confronted each and every unhealed wound, false perception, non-loving conditioning, and fear which blocked her way from knowing this Love and in doing so, became the embodiment of Love – as Jesus himself had done. There is no other direct follower of Jesus said to have completed this work (with the possible exception of John – though recent scholarship suggests the writings attributed to John may in fact, have come from, Mary, herself).

As Mary’s accomplishment was rare, so has it been throughout history. It is only our pop-culture spirituality that might suggest otherwise. Contrary to mass-marketed spirituality, enlightenment cannot be bought. It can only be uncovered in bits and pieces as we diligently tend to every single obstacle to Love – including (especially) ourselves. This is not the work for the faint of heart. Instead, we must look in the mirror with excruciating scrutiny:

  • What are the lies we’ve told ourselves?
  • What are the attachments we’ve formed?
  • How are we feeding our egos with dreams of popularity, fame, power, or wealth?
  • Where are we making excuses for our inhumanity to our fellow human beings?
  • Where are we harboring hatred?
  • How are we hiding our true selves for the sake of other people’s approval?
  • Where are we depriving ourselves of the things we need to fit into the status quo?
  • How have we bought into capitalistic deceptions and in what ways have we sold our soul to “make it?”
  • What are the sensitivities we’ve ignored, the reactions we’ve excused, or the violence we’ve justified – toward others and to ourselves?

Few, I have found, are willing to be so honest, and fewer still are willing to accept the kind of accountability that true transformation requires. And that’s ok. Like Jesus, the Magdalene wears many faces – a symbol for some, an inspiration for others, and to those called to the depths – a psychopomp leading them on a journey through the underworld where their wounds may be transformed and their truest light revealed.

My most-recommended books on the Magdalene:

Bourgeault, Cynthia, The Meaning of Mary Magdalene – Discovering the Woman at the Heart of Christianity, Shambhala Publications, 2010.

DeQuillan, Jehanne, The Gospel of the Beloved Companion, Athara Editions, 2010.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Gospel of Mary Magdalene, Inner Traditions, 2002.

Remembering Who We Are

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

It seems I have forgotten who I am, and in the forgetting, I have become ill.

Beyond my work as an author, writer, spiritual director, and educator, I have another job. For forty-nine weeks of the year, the job is fine – good even. Three weeks of the year, not so much – not because of the job itself, but because of the price to my nervous system. Being a highly sensitive empathic introvert who struggles with the symptoms of C-PTSD, Epstein Barr, kidney disease, and hypothyroid, I’m vulnerable on a normal day. During these three weeks, ones that require much more from me than usual, I find I struggle. To survive these three weeks, I find I only have the bandwidth to show up where I need to be, when I need to be there, and complete the tasks required. After the work is complete all I have left is to go home and “rot” (ie: disassociate, recover).

During those three weeks, I find it impossible to be my normal self. Instead, I find myself being short-tempered, impatient, grumpy, and extra sensitive. Whereas I have done a pretty good job of cultivating detachment and a sense of peaceful ease during normal weeks, for these three weeks – all bets are off.

I don’t like who I become when everything around me ends up being a trigger.

Following those three weeks, I spend as much time as possible doing nothing, hermiting in my cave, resting, sleeping, and trying to return to my so-called normal. A big part of this return to “normal” is trying to remember who I am when my nervous system isn’t being overstimulated by too much sound, vibration, movement, light, and other people’s energies.

Now that those three weeks are over, little by little, I’m starting to remember.

When a task takes so much of our physical, emotional, and mental effort, it is easy to forget who we are REALLY. Getting lost in to-do lists, unexpected emergencies, other people’s emotions, and all the details that go into a monumental creation, it is easy to forget that we are not those tasks. We are not the emergencies. Neither are we other people’s emotions. Even with time to regroup and recover, remembering who we really are beyond these responsibilities is difficult at best.

  • Remembering requires separation. Separation and distance from what made us forget.
  • Remembering demands quiet, stillness, and silence – asking us to enter into that place of calm where our true self resides.
  • Remembering invites a return to routine – the routine out of which our body and soul feel nourished, safe, and supported.
  • Remembering asks us to listen – to listen to the “still-small voice,” that knows our truth and what is important for our Soul’s fulfillment.
  • Remembering is accomplished through practice – practicing the distance, the quiet, the routine, and the listening that support us in calling back all the strands of ourselves we have given away and then replanting them deep into the ground where they can begin (again) to thrive.

This year’s remembering has just begun, but already I’ve been reminded of why I’m really here. Not because of the tasks. Not because of the roles, certificates, or titles. Not because of what I do or how I make a living. I’m here to BE who I am and who I am meant to be and that has a specific symbol that has meaning only to me. If I share it, perhaps you’ll get a glimpse of the calling that will spark your own journey of remembering.

For nearly fifty years, (and many lifetimes), Lauri Ann Lumby has been a student and devote’ of Mary, called Magdalene. From original source material, Lauri has discovered remembered the secret teachings of Jesus, as they were revealed to the Magdalene. Lauri has applied these teachings in her own life and from this has developed a curriculum of practical study for those interested in remembering and embodying the truth of their original nature as Love.

Learn more here.

Wandering, Wandering, Aimlessly Wandering

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Aka – Life in the Void

This morning, I woke up with a million topic ideas wrestling in my head. Do I write about collective despair or survival? Do I muse on about living as an interdimensional being? Do I remark on the radically different lives many of us find ourselves living? Do I talk about the state of our world (yes, let’s go ahead and beat that dead horse!)?

When I sat in the center of these swirling topics, I realized that the common thread in all of this is where we find ourselves at this moment – Sitting in the void between a world that is coming to an end and a world that has not yet been fully born. Void space, as I have come to know it, is a restless place filled with anxiety and certainty, yet when we know how to move through our need to control, we find the deep, dark, peace that is at the center of the Void. (Psst: The Void could also be called “Source,” for it is out of the Void that all things come into being).

The world as we have known it is dying. I need only point to the community engagement I was invited into this week regarding a $6 million deficit facing the Oshkosh Area School District. The current proposal for balancing the budget includes the elimination of 23 full-time equivalent positions in “elective” classes, specifically art, music, theatre, industrial and culinary arts, and more. Of course I did my part in writing to the Board and the OASD Administration on why maintaining these classes is important and the impact these classes have on students, along with the devastating effect eliminating these classes would have on student enrollment and graduation rates. I did the proper 3d world thing on a topic I am passionate about.

At the same time…….I know that education is one of the systems that is facing its own death as the empires around us collapse. Education, as we have known it no longer works – if it ever really did. Education, like all other patriarchal/hierarchical institutions, is clinging hard to status quo. In my letter to Oshkosh schools’ leadership, I called for innovation while knowing that they have neither the courage nor the insight to accept that invitation. The superintendent offering no acknowledgement or response to my letter says it all. OASD will be dying along with all other educational institutions who would rather live in denial than do the hard work of radical reform.

Radical reform is what the new world is calling for. For those with eyes to see, we see this and we know this. We know and understand what will need to pass away, collapse, or die in order for the new to come forth. We know and sense the new, but for those of us of a certain age, it is not ours to build. No, our children, and our children’s children will be the ones creating the new world – as they already are.

And yet, here we are, in the space between a world that is in freefall and a world yet to be born. It’s a strange place. Everything feels bad, uncertain, worrisome, violent, and despairing. This is the place of the unknown and in the face of the unknown there is anxiety. The signs of death are everywhere – from increasing grocery and housing costs, to political insanity. Everything sucks. In the suck, we become restless, aimless, wandering. We are trying to find ground, balance, safety, and security. We desperately want to feel safe in a world that is everything but safe. We are desperate to have control over something uncontrollable.

When the world as we have known it is in freefall, all we can do is stand back and hope it doesn’t fall on us!

The temptation is to get swept up into the chaos of a world trying to die, believing that this chaos is our reality. IT IS NOT!  The chaos is only a symptom of a dying world. Beyond the chaos, or rather, below and within it, is the true reality – that of THE VOID. The Void is the space between death and new life. It is the Source of all that is and the emptiness from which all things come to be. The Void is the “No Thing.”  It is the ultimate place of peace, comfort, and hope. When we allow ourselves to be objective witness to the chaos swirling around us, and not get caught up in it, our wandering settles, our restlessness becomes calm, we are able to release our need for control, and we are able to simply meet life as it is with acceptance and surrender. Remembering, in the immortal words of J.R.R. Tolkien, not all who wander are lost.

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Everything is a Practice

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Finding our way along the journey of self-actualization and personal mastery, we eventually come to the realization that everything is a practice. Whereas the early stages of our journey may have put us on the path to setting time aside each day for a dedicated mindfulness, contemplation, or meditation practice, we soon come to find out that our dedicated practice begins to spill out into the everyday experiences of our lives. Soon, everything becomes grist for the mill as we work to heal all within us that separates us from our original nature as love, while continuing to love the pieces that are not yet healed.

For me, this “everything practice” showed up in one extremely subtle and another powerfully obvious way.

I’ll begin with the extremely subtle:  I’ve been noticing in my daily practice an almost undetectable sorrow. It showed itself as a sorrow I could not initially name, but felt very deep and infinitely small. When I reached toward this sorrow, I perceived it as a tiny dot, no bigger than the end of a pencil. As it my practice, I’ve spent this week “working” on that dot of sorrow. Going toward it (instead of away). Pointing to it and “sending” healing. Holding the sorrow and asking what it had to say to me or teach me. The goal of this practice is to simply show up to that sorrow. In my experience, the fruits of this kind of practice eventually lead to healing and release, or alternatively, the revelation of something hiding behind the sorrow that seeks to be known. I’m still working on this piece, but I have gotten a glimpse of the original wound of separation that is just beyond this sorrow. That glimpse nearly gave me a panic attack, but I know that the only way to continue healing that wound is to stay with it.

The powerfully obvious way that everything presented itself as practice arose in a fit of rage. Without boring you with the gory details, suffice it to say that the rage was in the form of ranting resentment over a need for which I had requested support. The support was denied. To be honest, as I write this, I’m still pissed. First – because I rarely ask for help. Second because I should have known better.

What I do know, however, is that beyond the ranting and raving (which are appropriate inner responses to our needs not being met) is an old wound showing itself for another layer of healing – the wound of unmet needs. This is a pretty universal wound in that most people can share stories, experiences, conditioning, etc. in which their needs have gone unmet, or been flat-out rejected. Every time we have the courage to ask for help, and it is denied, a part of us feels like it has died. Heap up a lifetime of rejected and unmet needs, and the wound becomes a gaping hole. For myself personally, this is a wound I’ve given much time and attention to in the form of transformational practices. And, just like most everyone else, it’s a wound that still needs love. First, we have to work on healing the wound of rejection. Next, we tackle the wound of unmet needs. Finally, we do the work of meeting our own needs while setting appropriate boundaries around those who, due due to their own unhealed wounds (likely), are unable to be a reciprocal source of support for others.

From the very subtle to the greatest of charged emotions, everything is our self asking to be seen, known, and loved. This love, ultimately, is what our practice is all about.