Acceptance is an Aspect of Forgiveness

Forgive, but never forget!  And….let go of any idea that what you’re trying to “forgive” will ever completely go away.

Sometimes, we can’t just “let it go.” We can move through the pain and heal it….bit by bit by bit.  With some wounds (betrayals, deceptions, etc.) we can heal from most of the pain. With others, especially those of the deepest and most indelible nature, some of the wound may always remain.

It was once suggested to me by a trusted advisor, that with one wound in particular (that related to me being essentially excommunicated by the Catholic Church) I should just let it go. I’ve given a lot of prayerful consideration to her suggestion. It’s not that I disagree with her. Instead, I recognize that I, alone, do not have the power to be completely free of this wound. How can one be free of a wound where there has never been and will likely never be an apology or closure? I’m not closed to the fact that Grace might step in and I will suddenly find myself free of the hurt, the anger, the disappointment, the betrayal, and the heartache. Grace, however, is not something I can do for myself. I have learned that true Grace only comes from God (our own understanding of that which some might call “God.”)

Instead of placing pressure on myself or entertaining the finger of shame for not being able to “let it go,” I have chosen acceptance.  I accept the invitation to continue the work of healing. I accept responsibility for my part in the healing. I accept the possibility of some miraculous intervention that might fully free me of the wound. I accept the very real possibility that I may never be fully free of this wound and that there will likely be situations, experiences, conversations, TV shows, news articles, social media posts, etc. that might trigger that wound, inviting me into another layer of healing.

Acceptance, I believe, is its own kind of forgiveness. It allows us to hold ourselves in compassion and loving care as we continue to allow the healing, without heaping pressure on ourselves to have to be perfectly healed. Acceptance means tending to the parts over which I have some measure of control, surrendering to that over which I have no control, and being at peace with my current state of being – whatever that may be.

It’s ok to be human and hurting. It is often through our own vulnerability and pain that we are able to be a source of compassionate care toward ourselves and then toward others.

The above is an entry from Lauri’s upcoming book, Unseen – the Memoir of an Invisible Woman. Find Lauri’s other books on HERE.

There Are No Shortcuts!

On the journey toward self-realization, self-actualization, wholeness (whatever word you use for this), there are no shortcuts. And yet, I am continually confronted by those who refuse to do the work. 

  • They become bored and disinterested.
  • The work turns out to be “too hard.”
  • They are unwilling to let go of the things blocking their journey.
  • They bail out the first time their ego attachments are challenged.
  • They cling to their victimhood.
  • They give up the work in favor of shiny objects and false promises.
  • They think they can just think the right thoughts and become self-actualized.
  • They believe a gratitude practice alone will make them whole.
  • They believe they are already enlightened.
  • They think the journey ends with ascension.
  • They find every way to escape the real work by focusing on surface practices only.
  • When the journey doesn’t make them rich, bring them fame or glory, or bring the man/woman of their dreams, they become disinterested and walk away.

The journey of self-actualization has absolutely nothing to do with anything outside of us. It has everything to do with what is within. And it takes work.  HARD WORK. There are no shortcuts!

We cannot “Lala” our way to self-actualization. In fact, spiritual bypass guarantees the journey will fail. As the Buddhists say, “What we resist will persist.”  The more we resist the inherent drive to evolve and become whole, the more we will suffer because of it. The more we ignore the deep healing work that is required to become whole, the more we will suffer.  The more we ignore the inner obstacles to our freedom, the greater our suffering will be. This suffering, I have found, is more difficult than simply doing the work. We can suffer a life of quiet desperation, or uncover the inner peace, contentment, fulfillment, and joy that is inherent within us through the journey of self-realization.

The obstacles to self-actualization are many:

  • Unhealed wounds
  • Past conditioning
  • Ego-attachments
  • Trauma
  • Attachment to the status quo
  • Attachment to material/external results.
  • Anything we have suppressed or repressed.

The seven cardinal compulsions are all manifestations of these obstacles: pride, sloth, greed, envy, wrath, lust (for power), and gluttony.

The journey toward self-actualization invites us to remove these obstacles through deep processes of inner transformation and healing. With every obstacle that is removed, another aspect of our true nature becomes liberated, and we take another step toward the freedom of our original natures.

Jesus spoke of the difficulty of the journey toward self-actualization when he spoke of the narrow gate and the eye of the needle:

“Enter through the narrow gate, for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are many. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and those who find it are few in number.” Matthew 7: 13-14

 “Amen, I say to you, it will be difficult for one attached to material things to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for someone who is attached to material things to enter the kingdom of heaven.”  Matthew 19: 23-24

There are no shortcuts! If we truly seek wholeness and the inner fulfillment that comes through the journey of self-actualization we must do the work! 

Supporting Your Journey of Self-Actualization:

Authentic Freedom is a protocol and practice developed by Lauri Ann Lumby which supports you in identifying and then healing the fears that have kept you imprisoned by your past wounding and cultural conditioning.

Through recorded lessons, reading, discussion, mindfulness and creativity practices, you will be given the tools to identify, heal and transform the fears that:

There is not enough.
You are insignificant and have nothing of value to offer the world.
You cannot live as our most authentic selves.
You are not loved (or that love has to be earned or can be taken away).
You are not free to express our truth.
You do not know the truth.
You are alone.

At the end of this course, you will have the tools to support you in the continued liberation from your fears and the conditioning that has placed them there.

When Our Heroes Fail Us

One of the top news articles this week is related to an incident where His Holiness the Dalai Lama (trigger warning) asked a little boy to suck his tongue. The compassionate part of me wants to hope that the Dalai Lama must be suffering from some degenerative cognitive condition to have behaved in such a way. The part of me that worked in the Catholic Church, and had firsthand witness of, and counseled many through the untold horrors of clerical abuse, suspects otherwise.

My experiences in the Catholic Church and otherwise have taught me the dangers of clericalism – no matter what robes the clerics are dressed in.  In the same way that the Roman collar does not make one immune to bad behavior, neither do the saffron or maroon robes of Buddhism. In fact, I’ve witnessed some of the worst abuses of power coming from those who claim to be Buddhist. While religious doctrine might tell us otherwise, no man is God. Therefore, no man is immune to the temptations of power, especially when that power is cloaked in perceived affection. Further, neither a celibate life nor spiritual practice elevates one beyond sensual pleasures, no matter how much one might argue otherwise.

We may never know if mental illness, arrested development, or perversion drove the Dalai Lama’s behavior. What we do know is that this behavior created a wave of shock and horror among those who understand the ramifications of his behavior. We also know that his spokespeople rushed to excuse and then defend the Lama’s actions, “Westerners are looking at this from a Western lens.”  (I call bullshit on that excuse. The Dalai Lama and his fellow monks have been immersed in Western culture since the 1950’s.  They should know better!)  We also know that the vast majority of those following this story are likely in shock and disbelief.  Finally, it is likely that many of the Dalai Lama’s followers and fans are trying to deny that it even happened.

This is what happens when our heroes fail. When those we have placed upon a pedestal reveal their humanness, we are hurled into the process of grief.  First, we try to deny that the event happened.  Then we try to bargain it away. In this bargaining we might try to make excuses for our hero or defend their actions as “really not that bad,” or “no big deal.” We might become defensive toward those who try to point out the so-called hero’s humanness. Once we have moved beyond denial and bargaining and can finally admit that perhaps our hero isn’t so perfect after all, and that the behavior was inappropriate or wrong, then we may become angry. We become enraged over the behavior, and even more so, we feel deeply betrayed which naturally triggers our wrath. We may find ourselves depressed and despondent over the disappointment and sense of betrayal. Finally, we might weep. Weeping for the loss of the hero and weeping for our own lost innocence.

No man is God. And yet, for the past 5000-10000 years, humanity has been putting individuals in the place of God. From tribal priests, to kings, to gurus, to popes, to lamas, to rabbis, to ministers, to movie and TV celebrities, to talk show hosts, to influencers, etc. human beings have turned to those outside of themselves as the source of truth and salvation. Institutions have created mythology, doctrine, and laws around these outside perceived authorities and have actively recruited people to worship them.

Through centuries of (often shame or fear-based) indoctrination, human beings have forgotten that the source of truth is within them and has been all along. While we may see our own truth reflected in the writings of the Dalai Lama, Jesus, Mohammed, Mother Teresa, Marianne Williamson, or Anandamayi Ma, the individual is not the source of that truth. Neither are they a god to be worshipped. Human beings, no matter how holy they are made out to be, are imperfect and flawed. 

Human beings, no matter how spiritual, will fail, and the higher the pedestal upon which we place them, the greater will be their fall. The remedy to this inevitable failure is that we stop making other human beings our gods and embrace the only true source of authority – that which resides within.

As it relates to the Dalai Lama, I pray that if he is cognitively impaired, that he be supported in getting help for his impairment. If he is not, and this was an act of arrested development or perversion, I pray that he, and the Tibetan community around him get the help they need. Even more, I pray for the child that he be assured that the actions of the Lama were wrong, and that his parents and those who care for him provide a safe and loving place where he can process the actions of a man he may have been led to believe was god.

The Authentic Freedom Protocol

supports you in accessing, discerning, and living from your own inner truth while helping you to identify and transcend the fears and unhealed wounds that might otherwise hinder you from living that truth.

A “True” Irish History

Wisdom of the Ancestors

A “true” Irish history handed down by The Three Seabhean

This is the first of many installments of guidance I have received through deep shamanic experiences in which The Mothers have made contact with me for the purpose of imparting ancient wisdom and knowledge upon a world greatly in need.  They have told me that if humanity is to survive, it must remember and reintegrate the wisdom of the ancients – especially that which has been held and transmitted through women across time – both consciously and unconsciously through ancestral memory. Take in these messages what speaks to you and bring it deep into your heart where it might find its way to embodiment, awakening your own ancestral knowledge so that too can be brought forward in our world.

This is especially for the women, but men may find wisdom here as well. At the heart of things, we are all one and it is only in working together and bringing forth our shared knowledge and wisdom that the world may once again be restored to the peace that was once known by the ancients.

This is my gift to you!

I am humbled to be the messenger.

Lauri Ann Lumby of Clann McMahon


The Three Seabhean

Transmission received on 3.15.23

I was sitting in meditation, while holding the heart shaped basalt stone I had found while making a pilgrimage to The Giant’s Causeway in Bushmills, Northern Ireland. I drew my consciousness to the shore of The Giant’s Causeway and began my journey there. I called upon the stone to lead me to my most ancient of ancestors.

In my journey toward my ancestors, I was first drawn to myself and my two sisters, then to my mom and her two sisters, and then to my grandmother and two of her sisters.  A knowledge was implanted in me of the power of three sisters. This knowledge took me back and back and back, along my matrilinear line, back through centuries and eons to a time before history began its distortion of things, to a time before the world was male-led and was instead equally led where women and men together guided and protected the clann.  In these ancient times, individuals were valued for their unique gifts and those gifts were nurtured and cultivated for the good of the individual and for the thrival of the clann.

This journey through the matrilineal line, through all the eternal chain of three sisters, I came upon what I have been guided to acknowledge as: The Three Seabhean (pronounced Sheh-Bean). (a note of thanks to Amantha Murphy for first alerting me to the title Seabhean and all it entails).

The Three Seabhean appeared as the most ancient of women, wearing thick woolen cloaks, facing me. As I came upon them, they grasped me by the nape of the neck, and proclaimed, “Yer not of the north!” and I saw myself being dragged south from the northern shore of Ireland to the south – to County Kerry my ancestral home.

I then found myself standing on the other side of a fire pit, across which sat the Three Seabhean. We were outside, on a grassy slope under a backdrop of grey stones covered in moss. The sisters sat on stones, smoking from long wooden pipes and chuckling together. The energy I got from the sisters was like that I remember of my old aunties when they were together – laughing, playing games, telling jokes, and sharing tales. I immediately felt at home with the Three Seabhean. So I asked them,

“Am I of the Clann McMahon?”

“Aye, and No,” they responded with a giggle.

They went on to explain, “Yer of a more ancient kind, as are we. We are even more ancient than thee, but ye are ancient too. In time we will explain the history of our kind, as well as thine, but for now it is enough that we have met. You have opened the door through which we may now transmit the most ancient of knowledge, both for your own sake and for the sake of your kind. The world, as you know it, is in grave danger. Humanity has wreaked havoc on the The Mother and in doing so, has put themselves at great risk. The reclamation of ancient knowledge is one of two parts critical for the survival of your species. We are here to impart our share of that knowledge as ancients of every culture are doing through those open to remembering and sharing this knowledge. Thank you for being open. What we share with you and which you in turn will share will place a ripple upon the great pond of healing that will help humanity right their wrongs, if they choose to do so. If they do not, we will also show you how to keep yourself and your loved ones safe as we have been down this road before.”

That was the end of this transmission.

Wisdom of the Ancestors

is an offering within our interactive web series entitled “Whispers from the Cave.” Subscribe to receive more transmissions from The Three Seabhean.


Below is an excerpt from a recent post in my Whispers from the Cave interactive web series. Learn more about Whispers from the Cave below.

I woke up to twelve inches of snow this morning with likely another twelve coming. None of the roads have been plowed.  Why should they bother when the snow keeps on coming?

I don’t need a reason or an excuse to stay home in the comfort of my cave, but this weather eases the conditioned and not-yet healed guilt that sometimes surfaces in the face of just staying home.

We’re conditioned to believe we have to leave the comfort of our home to be a contributing member of society.  Work.  Family.  Friends. Social activities. All stand out as pressure to comply.  We’re accused of being lazy or anti-social for simply wanting to be home.

Being called to contemplative/monastic living presents another option – a counter-cultural option. A big part of embracing this calling is all the work we must do around unconditioning. Coming to understand it’s ok to simply be.  There’s nothing we have to do (except that which springs forth from our hearts) and there’s nowhere we have to be.

We find support for this unconditioning through community – through others embracing a similar calling.  Without the benefit of community, we must find this conditioning on our own.  Part of this unconditioning comes in simply choosing what’s right for ourselves. When the voices of guilt, shame, or self-doubt com in, however, that is when we must return AGAIN to our practice.  Through our practice, we turn inward toward ourselves where we can heal and transform those conditioned voices. 

How and where have you found support in unconditioning?

What spiritual practices have you found helpful in your journey of unconditioning?

Whispers from the Cave

Whispers from the Cave features limited edition, exclusive content examining the daily life and reflections of a modern monk living in a “cave” surrounded by ghosts.

 • 4+ episodes per month (written and recorded)

• Exclusive content (not available anywhere else)

• Interactive discussion (bring your burning questions)

• Educational and Informative

• Inspiring and Supportive

• Special pricing for the first 100 subscribers

Grab your morning cup, your favorite blanket, and snuggle in as you prepare to meet:

The Monk.

The Cave.

The Ghosts.

and their stories.

Click on the image above to learn more and join!

Featured Course: Welcoming the Adversary

Only $28.00

Join Lauri Ann Lumby as she breaks open the ancient mysteries related to the adversary – the natural inner force that has been corrupted into an external demon that should be feared. Even the ancient names given to this helpful and benevolent force have been appropriated by those who seek to manipulate others through fear, intimidation, and threats of eternal damnation.

  • Discover the ancient names given to the adversary and their true meanings.
  • Understand the natural cycle of spiritual growth including necessary times of resistance characterized by temptation, doubt, confusion, and difficulty.
  • Learn to approach the adversary as advocate.
  • Release resistance through practices of welcome.

Through this two-hour workshop, you will be empowered to set aside the “devil” you know and find power in working with the natural inner force that ensures our growth.

Wresting Satan

As much as I believe that Jesus came to realize the truth of Oneness and then sought to teach this to his disciples, including Mary Magdalene who went on to establish her own mystery school teaching the way to love; I am reminded today of the value of perceived separation – especially when it comes to those things outside of us which seek to keep us from the path of our truth.

Satan, meaning adversary, is the representation and embodiment of all that wants to keep us from our original nature as One in love – whether we perceive it as within us or outside of us. 

Outside of us, Satan shows up in:

  • Societal expectations.
  • Tribal customs and rules.
  • Worldly ideals which place value on externals – money, power, status, fame, material possessions, etc. etc. etc. over the place of real value which is within.
  • People who are threatened by our decision to step outside the tiny little box that our religions, communities, political parties, race, gender, orientation, etc. etc. etc. etc. seek to prison us within.
  • Any individual or structure which seeks to have power and control over another.
  • People who reject us or our gifts.
  • Feeling thwarted in the fulfillment of our gifts.

Every single thing which resides outside of us and tempts us to step away from our original inner state of contentment and joy is The Devil and when doing battle with Satan, it is helpful to think of it in this way.

I know, I know….this is the complete polar opposite of what all the new age/new thought/manifestation/secret and abundance people say.  They would say, “Everything that is happening outside of you is simply a reflection of what is happening within.”  But here’s the deal…..when I think of my own struggles in this way, it makes me feel TERRIBLE.   I feel shame.  I feel guilty.  I feel as if I am a failure and that I have done something wrong.  Believing in the idea that the difficulties happening outside of me are because I thought the wrong thoughts or didn’t believe hard enough or didn’t trust God enough or surrender enough, simply triggers my fear of not being perfect.  When this fear is triggered, the downward spiral of self-loathing begins.  You mean my anxiety is my fault because I don’t trust enough?  My fears over money are my fault because I’m not trusting in God?  I haven’t found “the one” because I’m not holding my vibration high enough to attract him?  Ignatius of Loyola would have had something to say about these so-called theories of “right thought.” 

St. Ignatius of Loyola (1491 – 1556) was a pioneer in and became one of the foremost authorities on the process of discernment.  In his writings on discernment, he describes two distinct energies – one that reflects the Divine path for us and the other that reflects “the devil.”  He calls these energies, respectively, consolation and desolation.  If I apply Ignatius’ guidelines for discernment to the idea that what is outside of me is a reflection of the energy I am holding within, I find I have to call it desolation – the energy that represents the mark of Satan.  Those things outside of me that are tempting me (which I experience as fear, anxiety, worry, self-loathing, depression) away from my Oneness with God (which I experience as peace and contentment) are the Devil and when I think of them in this way, instead of feeling powerless or despairing, I feel strong, confident and empowered because I know what to do with the Devil outside.

When I know that Satan is hard at work trying to keep me from my path, I know how to respond.  I have learned that calling temptation what it is, giving it a name and a face, deprives it of its power.  I stand toe to toe with Satan.  I look him in the eye.  I name him for whom and what he is.  I call on Michael the Archangel, Jesus, Mary Magdalene, Archangels Kamael and Tzafkiel, all my ancestors and the communion of saints to surround me and I then proclaim Jesus’ own words when facing his own Satan, “Get behind me Satan.”  In this I feel strengthened and am able to return to the path of my truth – the path where I feel fulfilled and where I am at peace.

What tools are you using to confront that which tempts you away from your own natural state of inner peace?

Demon Binding and Banishing

A Seven Step Process for the healing, transformation and release of negative energetic influences.

Nine Instructional Modules


Moderated Discussion

Featured Course: Into the Shadows

In this introduction to Gwyn Ap Nudd, King of the Tylwyth Teg (Fae) and Lord of the Underworld, you will come to understand his role as guardian of and guide through the shadows. We enter into the shadow so that we can do the critical work of healing our unhealed wounds, while rediscovering, reclaiming and reintegrating the pieces of ourselves we have rejected, repressed or suppressed. In order to become whole, shadow work is critical – though admittedly, not for the faint of heart. Gwyn helps to guide us through and supports us in this task.

In this course you will receive NINE Initiations and will be given specific tools, unique to the magic of Gwyn ap Nudd, to assist you in your journey of working through the shadows and claiming the wholeness that is your birthright – a wholeness that is both active and receptive, provisional and supportive, nurturing and empowering, expansive and protective. Gwyn ap Nudd assists you with it all!

Whether Gwyn calls to you personally, or if you are simply interested in learning more about and thereby befriending the underworld gods, as Gwyn has been known by many other names: Pan, Hades, Pluto, Cernunnos, The Horned God, and many others, this course is for you, Ultimately, Gwyn represents the part of ourselves that desires to be whole and which is willing to go into the depths to do so.

Lesson One – God under the Tor

Lesson Two – The Horned God

Lesson Three – Celestial Origins

Lesson Four – Gwyn’s Animal Totems

Lesson Five – Gwyn’s Labyrinth

Lesson Six – Carnal Knowledge

Lesson Seven – Chamber of Shadows

Lesson Eight – Gwyn’s Magic Book

Lesson Nine – Shamanic Initiation

A note from course creator, Lauri Ann Lumby, OM, OPM, MATS:

In late January into early February of 2008, over the feasts of Imbolc/Michaelmas and the Feast of St. Brigid, I made a pilgrimage to Glastonbury, England, otherwise known as Avalon. It was here that I was initiated as a priestess of Gwyn Ap Nudd – Celtic (specifically Welsh) Lord of the Underworld.

Being made priestess of Gwyn was not of my choosing, neither was I ordained by human hands. Instead, the initiation was presided over by Gwyn, himself – a god I had not previously known. Neither had I invited Gwyn into my presence. He simply stepped forth into my life, made himself known, and then led me into the world of my own shadow, a labyrinthine journey that seems to finally have come to some sort of closure, but only after many years of both profound bliss and excruciating struggle.

The journey into our shadow is never easy – but it always brings forth its reward – the reward being a more whole, fully integrated version of ourselves. From the perspective of modern-day psychology, it is only by journeying into our shadow that we have any hope of becoming self-actualized, knowing the fullness of our gifts, conscious of our human limitations, and able to live through them both freely and unencumbered, thereby enjoying a life of meaning, fulfillment and joy. Gwyn’s job, as I have learned, is to help us accomplish this task – if we allow him.

Journey to the Holy Grail

Cross land and sea
Time and tide
To misty Avalon I fly.
Seeking what?
I do not know.
Unless it be a place called home.
Where kindred spirit join by chance,
Round the fire – the sacred dance.

Drawn through dreams of lifetimes past,
Seems ancients did this circle cast.
To Tor and Well and ancient spring.
The place I thought my Soul could sing.

Take care all those like me who’d go
For Avalon’s gifts cannot be foretold.
Where Michael and Mary ley lines greet
Ego and fear did meet defeat.

Gwyn Ap Nudd appeared as guide
For the hell I created could not be denied.
Following the labyrinth to the depths of my fears,
Often wondering, “Is insanity near?”

Attachment, rage, resentment and grief
Transformed in the fire while I prayed for relief.
My warrior’s heart tested in flame
Hoping here would be the gain.
When at last released me at the top of the Tor,
I collapsed in a heap – wanting no more.
Processing along the dragon’s back,
My Beloved Christ kept me on track.
He explained the attachment that stood in the way
Of knowing the peace and the love of each day.

To Chalice Well he bid me rest,
In the Mother’s arms I’d completed the test.
Finding her love hidden in stone.
In bud, leaf and wood, I remembered my home.
Then verse 12, Chapter 12 of Testament Old
The world of Joel that made me whole:
“Return to me with your whole heart
Don’t let fear keep us apart.”

An ocean of tears the floodgate released
As I was reminded of the true source of peace.
The love of Divine that resides in my heart.
Return to the Oneness from where we all start.
The Holy Grail now fully revealed.
I am this love and through it am healed.

The truth that Christ came to remind.
Is that when we seek we shall find.
That home is the love of the Divine deep within
This is our origin and where we begin.
It is ego that creates the false separation.
That caused us to fear Divine reparation.
In fact this love of Divine that is me,
Is the ground of my being and the place I am free.

Seeking for home in someplace external
Led me within to the love that’s eternal.
The Holy Grail is the truth of our being.
When we’re vessels of love for everyone’s seeing.
Allowing the love that’s in truth who we are.
To flow from our hearts to all near and far.
So Dorothy’s words take on a new meaning,
“There’s no place like home,”
Divine love – what we’re seeking.
My quest for the Holy Grail will go on
Knowing where spiral ends, we’ve only begun.

copyright Lauri Ann Lumby

Featured Course:

Lesson One – God under the Tor

Lesson Two – The Horned God

Lesson Three – Celestial Origins

Lesson Four – Gwyn’s Animal Totems

Lesson Five – Gwyn’s Labyrinth

Lesson Six – Carnal Knowledge

Lesson Seven – Chamber of Shadows

Lesson Eight – Gwyn’s Magic Book

Lesson Nine – Shamanic Initiation

Featured Course: Order of Melchizedek

For my entire life I have been fascinated by magic. Naturally drawn to the mystical, I found my childhood role models in Samantha Stevens, Morticia Addams and Lily Munster. In my teens, I become overwhelmingly obsessed with anything that had to do with King Arthur and read every book on the subject that I was able, ultimately culminating in the Arthurian masterpiece, The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley. To say that I loved Tolkien and Star Wars would be an understatement, and Excalibur was my friend.

This love for magic was further supported by my Catholic upbringing which brought me up close and personal to magic that “turned bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ,” that healed the sick, exorcised demons, and made a humble human into the “child of God.” Jesus magic was everywhere and the rituals which facilitated this magic spoke to something very deep within my Soul.

Fast forward into adulthood, along with formation as a Catholic lay minister, I studied Wicca, Native American spirituality, Celtic myth and magic. I set up my home altar and when I asked for guidance it came in the form of a brick which flew through the air, awakening me to my true purpose which had to do with Priesthood – but not the priesthood I had grown up with. As it turned out, neither was my call to Priesthood somehow wrapped up in any of the neo-pagan, priestess or goddess movements. Instead, it seems like it was a Priesthood that predated all of these – what I have heard recent authors call “the primordial tradition.”

In the Judeo-Christian tradition in which I was raised, this primordial tradition is given a name: The Order of Melchizedek. First mentioned in the Book of Genesis as relating to the High Priest of Salem, Jesus is also mentioned as associated with this tradition. What distinguishes the primordial tradition from the systems of magic popular today is that in the Order of Melchizedek:

  • Magic is not done for the sake of “getting what we want,” but for the sake of aligning our purpose with that of the Divine.
  • It is not we who are “doing” the magic; it is the Divine working through us.
  • The Order of Melchizedek “keeps it simple,” acknowledging that the true power of magic is not in complicated rituals, invocations, chants or spells, but is in our intention to be One with the Divine – surrendering our own will to the Divine, and emptying ourselves so that the Divine might live in and through us.
  • We acknowledge and accept what was said to be true of Jesus:

Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God as something to be grasped,
but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness.
And being found in human form, he humbled himself
and became obedient to the point of death— even death on a cross.

Phil 2: 5b8

It is for all of these reasons that in spite of more training programs on magic and ritual (including the ancient Jewish mystical system of the Kabbalah) than you can shake a stick at; I have endeavored to create a training program that presents magic in another light.

Online course

20 lessons

at your own pace

Embodied Learning

Facilitated Discussion