Catholic

Christians Giving God a Bad Name

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Ugh!  Where do I even begin? I guess the best place is what is right in front of our noses as we seem to be living through some sort of apocalyptic fever dream created by a certain kind of so-called Christian. This apocalyptic fever dream is predicated on the defense of perceived white, straight- male privilege, fortified by the narcissistic belief of having been chosen by God, and enforced through illegal capture and incarceration. In this fever dream, there are those chosen by God and those who are the enemy. Those chosen are male of white, straight, European descent who claim to be Christian (and their complicit women). The enemy is everyone else.

These so-called chosen ones claim a white, male God who loves them and hates everyone else. They believe in a time of God’s choosing where they will be ushered into heaven while the remaining are cast into hell. They believe it is their duty to first impose and then enforce “God’s law” (as they understand it).  Any and every means of enforcement is allowed and even celebrated. They consider themselves to be soldiers for God and many have the arsenal to show for it. Their God is the only god, and all other expressions of God are wrong. They celebrate power and wealth and worship the prosperity gospel – believing wealth is their divine right and that if they don’t have it, “the enemy” is at fault. It is therefore their right to destroy the enemy because the enemy is keeping them from what God wills for them. It is their duty to hate those who God hates.

These people call themselves Christian. They claim to know Christ, but I’m quite certain they do not. They may know some version of Christ that they learned from their parents or pastors, but I’m fairly certain if the Love that is Christ showed up in the form of Jesus – a dark-skinned Palestinian man – they would seek to crucify him. (interesting how history unhealed repeats itself).

The very human part of me becomes enraged when I hear people who call themselves Christian preaching racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and sexism. I want to go into battle when I hear Christians justifying evil as “God’s-will.” I want to throw bibles at those who believe it is their divine mission to ignore the needs of the poor and eradicate the programs that provide for their basic needs. I want to throw stones at those who believe food, clothing, shelter, education, and healthcare are solely the right of the privileged and not rights for all. I want to tar and feather them with the words of Jesus (and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights) that say otherwise.

I want to but I won’t. While I feel insane hearing these people speak of their God and their divine rights, the compassionate part of me also understands what I can only imagine as deep, impenetrable wounds that would cause one to see right past the Love that is God and was modeled and taught by Jesus (and a whole slew of other great humans), and into the eyes of hate.

I don’t understand it. But, I wasn’t raised in a home or by a religion that taught me to hate. Sometimes, delivered by imperfect humans (we’re all imperfect), the messages caused confusion, and at times the messages were conflicting, but at the end of the day, I saw past the human imperfection to the Love that was either right in front of my eyes, or hiding beneath the surface. While divine punishment and threats of hell may have been uttered, Love always won out. I heard the Love louder than the fear and it is that which guided me to the “God” that I know today.

My “God” isn’t the old man in the sky (even though that image still persists). To me, God is Love (1 John 4:7). As Love, I can no longer imagine a hell or a devil whose job is to drag us there. God, to me, is not defined by form, but is omnipresent – PRESENT IN ALL THINGS. God is imminent and immanent. God is in us (Luke 17: 20-21) and all around us. God is everything and is Ain-Sof (the no-thing). God is the Source from which all things come forth and to which all things return. This Source is LOVE.

This is the “God” that I have come to know in being raised Catholic, thirty years of dedicated study of scripture including modern-day scripture scholars, and over sixty years of personal meditation, contemplation and prayer over the life of Jesus and his teachings. This Love/God is what has guided me on my path, initiated corrections when I veered from that path, and led me to the deep well of inner peace and contentment that can only come as one comes to know that Love.

When Christians give God a bad name, I think of this.  I think of the God that I have come to know and the hate that is impossible in the face of this Love. I find myself sad for those who think they know God when all they truly know is hate. I wish and pray that one day Love will break them open and show them the peace, joy, and wonder that this Love brings, and how in the face of this Love all fear and separation falls away. I wish for them to realize the Love they are in this Love, and the Love that is in all things. I pray for them to understand that they, and all of creation are expressions of God’s Love. I want for them to have the change of heart that this understanding brings. This change of heart will then empower them to lay down their swords and replace them with Love. Love will then compel them on the path of goodness that knows we are here, not to serve our fear-driven desires, but to be and do the work of Love in the world – healing the sick, caring for the poor, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, providing shelter for the homeless, and setting captives free, as Jesus called us to do. In doing this, they will be proof of the time-honored hymn: “They will know we are Christians by our Love.”

God: I Have Questions! (Part 1)

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Straight Talk About God Part 1

In this series, I’m going to explore the topic of “God.” As a spiritual woman rooted in science and reason, I can’t help but question that thing that some call “God,” or rather, human beings’ creation of the “God” to whom they assign all kinds of images and meanings – based more on human behavior than on God Itself. This series will address these questions, not for the sake of providing proof of God or even an answer into the nature of God, but instead, to provide support for those like me whose lives have caused them to question what they were once told they must believe.

In the Catholic religion in which I was raised, God was a mystery and yet the Church, through doctrine and dogma, provided its own beliefs about God. As a post-Vatican II Catholic, my first lessons about the nature of God were all about love.  God was Love. God loved us without condition. God was all-loving and loved every single human being wholly and equally. This unconditional love, however, was also tempered with the caveat that God did love Catholics more than those of other faiths. Additionally, while being all-loving, God was punitive, jealous and wrathful. More than God’s love, we were taught to attend to God’s judgment. Breaking one of the ten commandments or sinning against the Church would earn you an eternity in hell, or if you were lucky, an extended stay in purgatory. If you were extra lucky, you had loved ones praying for your soul’s release from purgatory so that you could enjoy an eternity in heaven (that special heaven reserved only for Catholics) that much quicker.

As you can imagine, these conflicting images of God created a fair bit of cognitive dissonance in me, and I would guess, in most Catholics. Is God loving or is God punitive? Exploring scripture didn’t help the matter. The Old Testament God was wrathful, played favorites and destroyed those who were not His chosen ones. The New Testament God was equally confusing. Was God Love, as John’s letters suggested, unconditionally forgiving like the father in the story of the Prodigal Son, or did he separate sheep from goats and cast hulls into the fiery pits of hell? The Church only compounded this confusion by heaping conditions upon God’s love. Only IF we were a Catholic in “good standing,” and free from sin could we enjoy God’s heavenly reward. Further, freedom from sin was dependent upon full participation in the sacraments. Everything, it seemed, was conditional, including your own membership and participation in the Church. Sinners weren’t welcome. The divorced were shunned. Those “living in sin” were condemned. And single persons (who didn’t choose vowed religious life) were held in contempt.

At the end of the day, God was a cause for confusion and depending on who you asked, their answers about God differed. From priest to priest, nun to nun, parent to parent, friend to friend, everyone had their own beliefs about God. What life has shown me, is that not a single one of them were correct. Here is where my reason steps in. How can any single human being comprehend the great mystery that is our origin in creation? How can anyone fathom the Source from which we came, assuming there is even a source. The scientific truth is that our planet, everything upon this earth, including humankind, could simply be a random mistake of nature. At some time in the distant past, the perfect grouping of particles came together and poof – we were made. Did some Divine hand orchestrate this creation or is it simply the workings of chance? These are the questions that come to my mind when pondering about God.

My Ecclesial Abusers Know Who They Are

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

When the torch bearers and pitchfork carrying Catholics came for me no one came to my aid. Not the priests I worked with, the bishops, not their chancellor. All were either silent or joined in on the abuse.

“How does teaching the Lord’s Prayer in Jesus’ native tongue fit into Catholic Teaching?”

…..um…..how does it not!?

“Eastern (Buddhist) practices are dangerous.”

….Isn’t this what Fathers Keating and Pennington are doing? Didn’t the Vatican II council encourage the exploration of other religions and their practices for the sake of understanding? How is Centering Prayer different from Zen practice?

“Reiki is witchcraft, sorcery, and the work of the devil.”

            Didn’t Jesus command us to heal the sick and didn’t he lay on hands to do so?

Round and round and round they went questioning my integrity, calling me names, spreading falsehoods and lies, turning people against me, harassing me in letters, emails, and even to my face. They went so far as to send 6 “spies” to attend one of my classes who harassed me throughout the entire two hours depriving those who wanted to be there from the experience they came to enjoy.

All I ever did was take Jesus’ teachings seriously and do what he called us to do.  And yet, not one single man of the cloth stood up for me or spoke in my defense. Not even the ones who knew me best and even encouraged me to do this work. Instead, the priests all stood with the vocal minority.

The one who regularly came to me to receive hands-on-healing in the form of Reiki, to him I gave thirty pieces of silver when the abuse finally drove me out. To this day, I have kept all his secrets.  Father ___, you know who you are!

The Language of My Soul

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

My entire life I have been a contemplative.  I just never had a word for it until Sr. Marie Schwann, one of the instructors in my ministry training, introduced us to the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius and other forms of Christian Contemplative Prayer.  The purest gift of Sr. Marie’s guidance was her universal approach.  Contemplation was not just for Catholics. In fact, contemplation and meditation are formal practices present within every spiritual tradition and religious belief or practice have absolutely nothing to do with one’s ability to be contemplative.  For many, contemplation is simply the language of their Soul.

I speak of contemplation as a language as it is through stillness and deep observation that I communicate with the world around me.  It is through stillness and observation that I hear the deepest whisperings of my Soul.  It is through contemplation that I have received guidance and answers to the questions of my heart. Contemplation is the first step of discernment. The deep observation (hearing and seeing) of contemplation allows me to test the actions and behaviors of myself and others to determine if we/they are on the path of our highest good – or not.  Contemplation has provided shelter in the midst of the storms of life along with the healing and comfort needed when life seems to have gone awry. In contemplation, I have found a direct line to Truth (what some might call God) and it is the compass which faithfully guides me home to my truest and most authentic self.

I remember as a little girl attending mass with my family.  It was here that I have my first memories of contemplation.  I cared nothing for the mass – its rituals, the words being said, the sermon being spoke.  Instead, all I cared about was tuning all that out so I could “be with God.”  Mass was the time I was given full permission to turn inward in prayer and commune in peace with that which I was taught to call “God.”  It was here I was the most happy and it was here I discovered the true language of my Soul – a language that has absolutely nothing to do with theology, religion or belief.  Contemplative is simply who I am and who I am called to be.

What is the language of your Soul?