“Women Can’t Image Christ”? Why the Hell Not!?

It’s been a minute since I’ve gone head-to-head with the Catholic Church, but the Vatican’s most recent statement forbidding women to be ordained as deacons has provided just the right amount of fuel to fan my flames of righteousness.

Before I get into the grisly details, let me start by saying this:

In no way, shape, or form, do I have any interest in being ordained by an institution defined by clericalism deeply rooted in misogyny; and to be honest, I’m a little suspect of women who would want to be ordained into that patriarchal/hierarchical power-hungry fraternity.

That being said, as a woman with a ministerial calling, who considers Jesus her teacher and who has modeled her own ministry on Jesus’ example. I am living proof that a vocational calling to serve is not limited to men. Further, there is scriptural proof that Jesus commissioned women to serve (Mary Magdalene) along with historical evidence of women in the early church who served as both deacons and in priestly roles.

Now let’s get to the grisly details. From the National Catholic Reporter: “A Vatican commission studying the possibility of female deacons reported that the current state of historical and theological research ‘excludes the possibility of proceeding’ toward admitting women to the diaconate.”  In other words, seven men voted against the ordination of women into the diaconate. The justification for this exclusion, stated in a commentary signed by retired Italian Cardinal Giuseppe Petrocchi, was that “women cannot image Christ.”

It’s one thing for the Church to use big-T tradition, and little t – tradition as it’s excuse for not ordaining women. It’s also a well-known and documented fact that the institution of the Catholic Church has done everything in its power to keep women down, holding women to different standards than men, scrutinizing women saints more ruthlessly than their male counterparts, ignoring and then demonizing the very women Jesus appointed to continue his ministry, etc. etc. etc. We have long known the Church to be a bastion of misogyny, despite their protestations.

It’s funny to me, really (funny ironic, and funny sad). Because despite everything I was taught and the promises that were made in my own ministerial training within the Catholic Church, I experienced directly the privilege men, especially priests, received in the Church. Men are held to lesser standards than women, afforded greater opportunities, and awarded with advancement and praise. I received the identical education and training as my male counterparts, yet they were rewarded with ordination. I, and my female co-horts were not. When I experienced scrutiny and harassment by the local self-appointed inquisition, the Church did not have my back, instead, it joined the bandwagon.  For the men, with whom I served, who were acting amorally, the Church just looked the other way.

Isn’t “imaging Christ” exactly what we’ve been taught????? Isn’t this what we were told in twelve years of Catholic school? Isn’t this what scripture invites us to be and do? Aren’t we all called to “be Christ in the world?”

If this is no longer, or has never been true for women, then what’s the point? Why adhere to Jesus’ teachings? Why follow his example? Why “put on Christ” if it’s really only men who can image him?

And you know what, they’re right. We DO NOT MATTER –  to the Church. We never have. The Church has just pretended we matter because it is the women who have always done the work.

Maybe not anymore. In light of the knowledge of what the Church actually believes about women, maybe we should leave (I technically left long ago). Without those of us who “cannot image Christ,” the Church would collapse. And maybe that’s exactly what the Church deserves.

In the meantime, I still consider Jesus to be my teacher and Mary Magdalene my guide. I continue working on being the Love Jesus calls us to be in the world. I know that despite what the Church says, I am doing my best to “image Christ,” as are all the women I know who hold up Love as their purpose and mission, because the truth is, the Church does not have the power to deny what Christ has already ordained.

Finally, my official response to the Church – a big fat F-you!

An Uncommon Priesthood

Uncommon: not ordinarily encountered: unusual; remarkable, exceptional

Priest: someone who is authorized to perform the sacred rites of a religion especially as a mediatory agent between humans and God

Priesthood: the office, dignity, or character of a priest

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

On the first day of the Christology course that was part of my ministry training, our (female) professor asked those of us who felt called to ordination to raise our hands. The men in our class, as was to be expected, raised their hands as they were on the track to becoming deacons. My friend, Karen, and I also raised our hands. That got us a giggle because women, of course, are not allowed to be ordained, either as a deacon or a priest, in the Catholic Church.

That was thirty years ago, and yet still today, women are barred from priesthood in the Catholic Church. That prohibition, however, has not lessened my call to be priest. In the years since, I have discerned priesthood through two denominations outside of the Catholic Church, but in both instances, the prevalence of clericalism in those institutions dissuaded me from completing that path.

Clericalism:  a policy of maintaining or increasing the power of a religious hierarchy (to Merriam-Webster’s definition, I would add: lauding, flaunting, defending, and enforcing that power and in some cases, using it to justify non-loving acts)

To me, priesthood has never been about power. It has always been about service. Neither has it been about hierarchy. Instead, it is a collaboration of gifts in support of individual and collective need. This is the priesthood I see in Jesus and what he drew forth from those who gathered around him. Jesus was not a leader who wanted followers. Instead, he was a catalyst who empowered people in their gifts. By humbly serving those most in need, Jesus’ example challenged the religious and political institutions of his time. These institutions valued their power and privilege over the people they were meant to serve.

Sadly, Jesus’ example did not stand as the early disciples (Peter and Paul in particular) traded the collaborative empowerment that Jesus’ taught them for patriarchal and hierarchical power. This model still stands today in nearly all Christian institutions. This is why I did not, cannot, and refuse, to fit into any institution that values power over service.

Instead, it seems, I have carved out a priesthood all my own. One that has been ordained, not by a bishop’s anointing and laying on of hands, but by careful attention to the call of Love, and living out that Love in all the many ways I have been called. Sometimes this call looks priestly in the marriages and funerals I officiate. Sometimes this call looks formative as I create and facilitate classes and write books in support of participants’ personal/spiritual development. Sometimes it looks pastoral in the one-on-one spiritual counseling I provide. Sometimes the service I provide supports people in their healing, in finding direction, and in experiencing comfort.

Most commonly, however, my priesthood is confirmed in unexpected and surprising ways. It is known in the 6am phone call from a distant friend seeking support for a family member in crisis. It is known in the generous financial donations I sometimes find in my mailbox. It is known in the confidences people have shared with me during challenging times. It is in the many acquaintances who suddenly seek my support and my own wondering of why they chose me. Why would they trust me with this, I barely know them? And yet, time and time and time again, this is so. People who I know – but not really. Amazing, lovely people who I have come to know and love along the way – but we don’t really hang out. People who I know from simply being me in the small community where I live. People, in whom I’ve likely seen something (love, kindness, generosity, honesty, integrity, authenticity) who are somehow seeing me, and trusting me with the most intimate and challenging times of their lives.

This is the priesthood for which I am most grateful.  A priesthood that is unexpected and surprising and looks absolutely nothing like what we have come to associate with being priest. And yet, it is exactly what the Catholic Church preaches in its invitation to participate in the priesthood of all believers (Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraphs: 1267, 1268, 1141, 1143, 1268, 1305, 1535, 1547, 1591, and 1592). Whereas the institutional church does not recognize my priestly calling, I am profoundly humbled and grateful to all those who have invited me to serve in this role.

Pluto and the Death of Love

Today, November 19, 2024, Pluto departs Capricorn for the final time in our lives!!!!!!!  (collective exhale of relief)  Since January 27, 2008, Pluto has been making his journey through Capricorn. Astrologers have all kinds of things to say about the meaning of Pluto’s transit, but as a Capricorn sun sign with Capricorn in my tenth house, as one astrologer said, this transit has been personal. You could say this is how I feel at the end of this transit:

Pluto in Capricorn has kicked my ass. I’m completely wiped out and exhausted beyond imagining. I feel as if I have nothing left to give to this life after Pluto has had his way with me, both personally and collectively.

Let’s talk about the collective first as that’s the easiest for me to speak about. Pluto moving through Capricorn has been a time of both revelation and destruction. In Lauri Lumby language, Pluto in Capricorn has been about making us all see humanity’s shadow (all those things about human beings we want to deny, ignore, or sweep under the rug).  Most especially, we have been given the opportunity to see the evil and corruption at the heart of every single institution we once held dear: church, government, banking and money, commerce, healthcare, education, etc. etc. etc.  Every institution we were taught to believe had our highest good in mind, has been shown to be liars.

If you are feeling a little betrayed, you have a right to be. It has all been shown to be a lie.

The good news is that the lie is collapsing – but as is true of every collapse – it might prove painful. Whereas Pluto has departed Capricorn, we’re still in the game as Pluto begins its dance through Aquarius – bringing the promise of rebirth – but not before the dying system heaves it’s last breath and humanity finds its way out of the rubble. Much of what many have come to rely upon will be torn from their grasping fingers.

If there was ever a time that it would prove beneficial to “have not,” now would be that time. When you have nothing, there’s really nothing left to lose.

Which brings me to the personal. As the shadows of our world have been revealed, I have experienced some deeply personal shadows showing themselves. My own shadow has come forward to be seen so it could be healed. This work has been arduous, but I’m good at inner work, so I found my way through it.

The other shadows pulled the rug out from beneath me in ways I cannot even begin to describe. Both came unexpectedly and out of the blue (in hindsight, however, there were signs). Both forever altered the trajectory of what I had planned for my life while irreparably breaking my heart. There were times where the pain in my heart was so great that I thought I might die. (I’m not exaggerating).  To speak of it now brings a heaviness in my heart in remembering all the times I wasn’t sure I would survive the betrayal, the lies, and the devastating loss. Both revelations forced me to make the two most difficult decisions of my life and to leave behind that which had promised to be a place of safety, and protection.

If I could sum up what Pluto in Capricorn has been for me personally, it would be the death of love. The Catholic Church (since it is the leaving I’m comfortable sharing here) makes promises of unconditional love. It claims to be a safe and secure place. I was invited into the embrace of the Church as a lay minister and celebrated for my work there…..until I wasn’t. What ultimately forced me to leave was that the Church made me choose between them and Christ. I chose Christ. In arriving at that choice, however, I saw all the ways that the Church was NOT being Christ in the world. I saw that the love of the Church is the definition of conditional as it requires obedience to the institution – at the expense of God. Weird.

While Pluto’s journey through Capricorn led me down some truly painful paths, and forced difficult decisions – what it ultimately provided for me (kicking and screaming) was FREEDOM. Freedom from counterfeit love. Freedom from institutional control. Freedom to think with my own mind, speak my own truth, LIVE my own truth. This journey has also taught what IS NOT Love.

Perhaps Pluto in Aquarius will be a gentler time for us worn out and weary Capricorns. And if I could hope for one thing – it would be that Pluto in Aquarius might show us what Love truly is. Admittedly, with our hearts broken our ability to receive this Love might be tentative (I’m still not quite sure how I feel about God), but my understanding is that True Love meets us where we are at – broken hearted and all.

God: I Have Questions! (Part 1)

Straight Talk About God Part 1

In this series, I’m going to explore the topic of “God.” As a spiritual woman rooted in science and reason, I can’t help but question that thing that some call “God,” or rather, human beings’ creation of the “God” to whom they assign all kinds of images and meanings – based more on human behavior than on God Itself. This series will address these questions, not for the sake of providing proof of God or even an answer into the nature of God, but instead, to provide support for those like me whose lives have caused them to question what they were once told they must believe.

In the Catholic religion in which I was raised, God was a mystery and yet the Church, through doctrine and dogma, provided its own beliefs about God. As a post-Vatican II Catholic, my first lessons about the nature of God were all about love.  God was Love. God loved us without condition. God was all-loving and loved every single human being wholly and equally. This unconditional love, however, was also tempered with the caveat that God did love Catholics more than those of other faiths. Additionally, while being all-loving, God was punitive, jealous and wrathful. More than God’s love, we were taught to attend to God’s judgment. Breaking one of the ten commandments or sinning against the Church would earn you an eternity in hell, or if you were lucky, an extended stay in purgatory. If you were extra lucky, you had loved ones praying for your soul’s release from purgatory so that you could enjoy an eternity in heaven (that special heaven reserved only for Catholics) that much quicker.

As you can imagine, these conflicting images of God created a fair bit of cognitive dissonance in me, and I would guess, in most Catholics. Is God loving or is God punitive? Exploring scripture didn’t help the matter. The Old Testament God was wrathful, played favorites and destroyed those who were not His chosen ones. The New Testament God was equally confusing. Was God Love, as John’s letters suggested, unconditionally forgiving like the father in the story of the Prodigal Son, or did he separate sheep from goats and cast hulls into the fiery pits of hell? The Church only compounded this confusion by heaping conditions upon God’s love. Only IF we were a Catholic in “good standing,” and free from sin could we enjoy God’s heavenly reward. Further, freedom from sin was dependent upon full participation in the sacraments. Everything, it seemed, was conditional, including your own membership and participation in the Church. Sinners weren’t welcome. The divorced were shunned. Those “living in sin” were condemned. And single persons (who didn’t choose vowed religious life) were held in contempt.

At the end of the day, God was a cause for confusion and depending on who you asked, their answers about God differed. From priest to priest, nun to nun, parent to parent, friend to friend, everyone had their own beliefs about God. What life has shown me, is that not a single one of them were correct. Here is where my reason steps in. How can any single human being comprehend the great mystery that is our origin in creation? How can anyone fathom the Source from which we came, assuming there is even a source. The scientific truth is that our planet, everything upon this earth, including humankind, could simply be a random mistake of nature. At some time in the distant past, the perfect grouping of particles came together and poof – we were made. Did some Divine hand orchestrate this creation or is it simply the workings of chance? These are the questions that come to my mind when pondering about God.

Clericalism by Any Other Name…

Just because one leaves the Catholic Church to become a priest elsewhere doesn’t mean one has escaped the dangers of clericalism. In fact, some of those I have known to take the collar elsewhere have been the most guilty of behaviors consistent with clericalism.

Clericalism:

            a policy of maintaining or increasing the power of a religious hierarchy.

a disordered attitude toward clergy, an excessive deference and an assumption of their

moral superiority

Throughout my life I have felt the call to serve humanity on behalf of the mission of Love. In the Catholic tradition in which I was raised women had two options: become a nun or a lay minister. I chose the latter. After leaving the Catholic Church, priesthood became an option to explore if I was willing to join a different denomination.

Three times I entered discernment into the priesthood through three different denominations. One I chose not to explore further because their theology of sacrament didn’t match my own. The other two, in theory, shared my theology, but in the end, it was clericalism that turned me away.

Clericalism, as I have personally experienced it is a priest (of any gender) who acts as if they are better than, separate from, or in a position of power over those to whom they are called to serve. Clericalism is anything that deems a priest special and better simply by virtue of being a priest.

Fr. David Doyle, my twelfth grade religion teacher, for example, dared to proclaim his ability to go immediately to heaven after he died NO MATTER his state of sinfulness. Even if he had murdered someone he got to go to heaven before us simply by virtue of his ordination.  At least, this is what he claimed. I told him he was wrong.

Some of the behaviors and examples of clericalism are obvious: hierarchical and patriarchal behaviors and attitudes, believing they are God, thinking the rules don’t apply to them, lacking accountability and/or anyone to hold them accountable, hypocrisy, etc.

Others are more subtle: adoration of the collar and priestly vestments, treating women clergy as subservient, giving women clergy lesser positions or less desirable assignments, preaching collaboration while acting autocratically.

In my mind when one is called to serve it is as an equal. I am no different than the people who I am called to serve. I recoil from anything that would seek to set me apart or marks me as different. It is for this reason that even when discerning priesthood, I had no plans to wear a collar, or put on vestments. Jesus didn’t wear vestments. He dressed as the people he served. So when those with whom I was discerning priesthood spoke of their adoration of the collar and “what happens” when they don priestly vestments, I listened more closely! When the man who was discerning priesthood with me and who had invited me to start a community with him made important community decisions behind my back and when I called him out for it and he responded with “why are you always picking on me?” (ie….why are you always holding me accountable), then I got the Fuck out!

Later, I discerned with another denomination. When the Bishop of this denomination denied the fact of declining enrollment and said there was no need to explore alternatives, I had deep questions. When the priest with whom I was discerning priesthood spoke of how I would be working FOR HIM I stopped in my tracks.  Later when I learned that the women deacons in this denomination ARE NOT PAID for the work they do even though they were doing EVERYTHING for the priest and even stood in for HIM when he was out of town, I ran!

After these and many other examples of clericalism in the priesthood I left that discernment behind. True priesthood, after all, has nothing to do with a collar, or vestments, or a perceived position of power. True priesthood doesn’t require that some other man place his hands on your head giving you “the power” to be a source of love in the world. True priesthood is part of our very nature when we seek to be a source of love in the world and to serve the betterment of our world through the sharing of our own unique gifts.

Done with Church? #Metoo

Once upon a time, Lauri Ann Lumby was an enamored, mostly devout Catholic girl.  I attended Catholic school for most of my 12 years of schooling, proudly wore my plaid uniform skirt with starched white blouse and embraced all that post-Vatican II Catholicism had to offer (it really was an exciting time in the Church!).  I continued attending weekly mass during college and into adulthood.  I heard my calling to active ministry somewhere around the age of 27, completed 7 years of training as a pastoral minister and spiritual director and worked in the Church for 10 full years. 

Then it all went bad. The short version is that I dared to take Jesus’ teachings and commands seriously and stepped more and more fully into “doing what Jesus did.” The Church didn’t like that, and neither did the self-appointed inquisition who made it their job to make sure I was obedient to “only that which was handed down by the magisterium,” which I found hilarious because the history of the Catholic Church has always been practice before legislation.

Most likely the real issue was not the work I was doing, but the fact I am a woman and I dared to do what Jesus did – namely, be a source of healing for those who sought it. 

That’s the short of my boring story….but what’s yours?  I bet I can guess some of the primary reasons why you no longer go to Church and maybe have no interest in returning:

  1. The Church’s hypocrisy – teaching one thing but living another. (#priestsexabusescandal)
  2. You’ve been divorced, use birth control, or found yourself having to make the choice to terminate an unplanned pregnancy.
  3. You’re LGTBQ.
  4. You no longer, or never, resonated with the idea of a hellfire and brimstone God or the idea of hell in the first place.
  5. Many of the Church teachings don’t make sense to you.
  6. You have a sense that Jesus may have been a cool dude, but don’t resonate with the Church’s portrayal of him, or don’t believe Jesus is the ONLY WAY to “salvation.”
  7. You’re not sure “salvation” is even anything to strive after.
  8. You are a woman and wonder if you even have a place in a patriarchal/hierarchical/clerical institution.
  9. You take issue with clericalism.

Ringing any bells? This is just a handful of the infinite number reasons I have heard from others for why they left the Church and have no plan of returning. Good for them. I agree with them. It is for this very reason that Authentic Freedom Academy and the Temple of the Magdalene came about in the first place. And here’s why:

  1. I personally have no problem with Jesus. When we look beyond Church dogma and man’s interpretation of Jesus’ message, we only find a message of compassion and love. I think this is a good and timely message – one the world really needs!
  2. I also accept the truth present within every other world spiritual tradition.  I have found in my own exploration that every tradition holds a piece of the truth – why not embrace them all?
  3. I have to say the same about scripture. Scripture and sacred writings of all sorts hold kernels of the truth – we just have to find them.  Dogma and doctrine get in the way. Let’s study the texts with naked eyes and an open heart.
  4. In my experience working in the Church, the greatest thing I found missing were tools for authentic psycho-spiritual development. These tools are readily available in the Church, but the Church refuses to share them.  I have studied, applied, practiced, and now share these tools with those who attend my classes and partake in the services I provide.
  5. I also found the Church lacking in authentic empowerment. The Church begs for people to serve the betterment of the world but provides no formation that would support people in doing this. I provide that formation.
  6. There is a place for women!  Not only is there a place, Jesus’ closest disciple, the one to whom he revealed the resurrection and who he ordained to continue his mission was a woman herself – Mary, called Magdalene.
  7. All are welcome!!!!!!!!!   Authentic Freedom Academy and the Temple of the Magdalene welcome all people from all walks of life, orientation, beliefs, etc.  The space we have created is big enough for all of it. 
  8. Salvation?  Jesus never spoke of salvation being in a heaven light years away.  Instead, he showed his disciples how to find peace, contentment, and joy in the midst of the human experience. This is what I teach, along with the tools for experiencing this.
  9. Love.  Only Love.  Compassion and Love. That is all.

Authentic Freedom™ is Lauri Ann Lumby’s trademarked protocol for transforming the fears that keep you from knowing your true self and living that out freely.  Authentic Freedom™ integrates specific tools and practices of Western Psychology with those of Western Spirituality, resulting in a powerful process through which YOU are supported in becoming self-actualized.

Self-actualized individuals know:

  • Who they are.
  • What their unique gifts are.
  • How they are called to use those gifts for the sake of their own fulfillment and in service to the betterment of the world.

Learn more HERE.

Our online community is made up exclusively of women and men who have completed the Magdalene and/or Melchizedek Trainings, patrons of Authentic Freedom Academy and those who have joined through personal invite. Learn more and become a member HERE.

The Temple of the Magdalene reclaims the ancient order of priestess through:

Temple Membership is made up of fully ordained members, associates and patrons. Learn more HERE.