Christianity

Is Your God too Small?

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

This past weekend an article came out in which Kim Kardashian, after failing the bar exam, was complaining about all the money she spent on psychics who all told her she would pass, and how duped she felt by them. My response was “duh.” Relying on psychics to determine your success seems naïve ( at best). Especially when (in my personal experience), many (if not most) psychics are happy to take your money and then tell you exactly what you want to hear.

This article isn’t about psychics. Neither is it about Kim Kardashian. What inspired me to pen this musing was the comment thread relating to Kim’s rant. In the comments an individual wrote, “You block God’s blessings when you mess with that stuff.”  I suggested to the commenter that her God might be too small. She said, “I’m Catholic do with that what you will.”  I chuckled because I’m Catholic too (kind of) and the “God” I have come to know is way too big to be limited by the likes of a few psychics, or by those who would turn to psychics for “guidance.” I am of the firm belief that there is NOTHING that can limit or block God – the Presence, Power, Providence or Grace of God.

“I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God” Romans 8: 38-39

Turning to a psychic doesn’t “block God’s blessings.” All that happens is that we are giving away our own power to reason, discern, and exercise our own truth by putting someone outside of us in the position of power. The same is true when we give anyone the power to determine the path of our lives – parents, teachers, religious leaders, government officials, partners, etc. etc. etc. The only true and reliable authority dwells within us in our connection and union with that which I call “God.”

If you grew up in any kind of Christian denomination, the “God” you were taught was most likely the old man in the sky God – the one Jesus called Abwoon – which has most often been translated as “father.” This “father” God was then painted into the image of either a vengeful, wrathful, punitive father, or one of great compassion like the father in the story of the Prodigal Son – in other words, a God made in our image.  

Even the Catholic Church eschews these images of God in humankind’s image:

God is neither man nor woman. God is pure spirit in which there is no place for the difference between the sexes. (Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 370)

Jesus taught of a God who is Spirit who is all-loving and who is present within us, among us, and all around us. John, in his letters, called God Love (1 John 4). And yet, even the Catholic Church who teaches these scriptures and authored the Catechism, often preaches of a God who is too small. (Hence the woman who believes a psychic has the power to block God).

I, however, refuse to allow God to be limited by the threats of the inquisition, the local Church, by Bishops, priests, or congregants who seem to have missed the whole entire point of Jesus’ teachings. There is nothing greater than the Love that made us, surrounds us, and dwells within us. Even our own forgetting of or disbelief in God is not enough to separate us from that Love. It is our origin, our true nature, and our ultimate destination, for at the end of the day, Love is all there is and there is nothing that can block that.

Like Unto God

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

I’ve been at a place of frequently asking myself/the universe why?

  • Why do I seemingly have all these gifts in which very few are interested?
  • Why give me the gifts of vision, insight, knowing, and no audience with whom to share them?
  • Why give me the gift of prophecy – the ability to see the sign of the times and where things may be headed – when no one hears me?
  • Why give me the gift of seeing disorder (when things are out of order for an individual or a group’s higher good), along with the awareness of the remedy to that disorder when my insights are almost always ignored or rejected?
  • Why give me a platform on which I can share some of these insights while keeping my platform invisible?
  • Why give me wise counsel and the gift of teaching for the very few who are willing to hear and apply it?
  • Why show me the red flags while those who need them ignore my pleas?

When I find myself in these times of questioning, I often feel like a whiney baby asking my parent, “Why can’t I have what I want when I want it and I want it now?”

But I have also found that when I turn these kinds of quandaries inward, the answer usually appears – or at least what I need to hear in the moment to find comfort along with encouragement for continuing forward.

This morning as I wrote out these questions and hurled them out into the Universe, the answer came quickly and clearly:

One Who is Like Unto God.

“Hearing” these words, a deep peace came over me, along with an unfolding vision of what these words might mean to me in this moment. I share this in the event that you might find these words comforting as well.

“One who is like unto God,” brought me immediately to the story from Luke’s gospel (Lk 15: 11-32) of the “Prodigal Son.” Specifically, I was reminded of the father and his actions in the story. In summation:  

  • He saw and understood that his son needed this time of departure for his own growth.
  • He likely understood that his son’s efforts would fail and bring him disappointment.
  • He hoped that one day his son might return to the home where he was loved.
  • He waited and watched. Every day, standing at the gate, looking to see if his son was coming home.
  • When his son came home, the father didn’t punish or reprimand him. Neither did he say, “I told you so.”  Instead, he welcomed him home with open arms and held a celebration for his return.

In the story, the father represents God.  The son represents humanity. For us, the story of the Prodigal Son is an invitation to acknowledge the human need to seek out and explore who we are and our place in the world. It is also the reminder that the ultimate destination of that journey is (re)Union with God/Self. We are both the son and the father at different times in our journey. Sometimes we are the son boldly going out into the world despite the warnings of our family, friends, etc. Sometimes we succeed. Often, we fail. At other times, we are in the position of the father – watching and observing our loved ones (and the world) fumbling about in their journey of being human and we want like mad to share our wisdom, warn them of pitfalls, rescue them and save them from themselves. Our well-meaning attempts to intervene often blow up in our face, or our guidance is simply rejected.

For most of my life, I’ve been the son – going out into the world in defiance of the warnings and cautions delivered by well-meaning elders. Sometimes their warnings proved true. Other times I experienced freedom and liberation from these choices – albeit often with a fair amount of suffering. The human journey, no matter how perfectly we follow another’s, or our own guidance is not without suffering.

Now, when I hear the words “Like Unto God,” I am aware it’s time to be more like God. What I mean in being more like God, I mean this:

  • Watching and observing human beings being human beings.
  • Avoiding the temptation to judge the actions and decisions of others.
  • Allowing humanity to go along on its journey unhindered, even if it means toward their own destruction.
  • Staying out of the way – not interfering and not attempting to intervene.
  • Avoiding the temptation to fix, save, or rescue.
  • Remembering that humanity sometimes learns best through failure.
  • While staying out of the way, holding them all in loving compassion.
  • Being available as support and counsel when called upon without attachment to the outcome.

Ugh!  All these things are so difficult, especially when the individual(s) in question are those I love and care about. But the truth is, I’m not sure there’s any other choice. It is only our ego/false-self that believes we know what is best for another. (For God’s sake, we don’t even know what’s best for ourselves!)  While we may be able to predict the downfall of another’s decision, and the downfall does indeed happen, that doesn’t mean the failure wasn’t exactly what the individual needed for their own personal growth. While we might see and know, we will never be omniscient. While we may accept the invitation to “be like unto God,” we will never actually be God. It is this truth that keeps us humble in our humanly journey of being human and our spiritual journey of hoping to be more like God. In neither will we ever be perfect – which is the whole entire point.

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Love is Kindness

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Yesterday, nearly 7 million Americans gathered as an outward example of Love in what has been called the “No Kings” rallies. Contrary to dispersions cast, there were ZERO violent acts within or among those who gathered. Beyond the perception of politics, people of all ages and genders gathered to express their support of the freedoms promised by the US Constitution and on behalf of those who have been maligned and mistreated by those who have forgotten how to Love.

Love, in the context of the human identity, can only be understood in one way – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you;” or as Jesus has been quoted as saying, “Love one another as I have loved you.” For those who claim to follow Jesus, or call him their savior, it is to Jesus’ words and actions that one might understand Jesus’ commandment about love. Jesus’ example is clear:

  • He treated people of all beliefs, social standing, race, and gender with love, honor, and respect.
  • He focused his attention on those who were marginalized in his culture: women, children, the poor, the sick, the ostracized, those who the culture condemned as unclean, those condemned by the culture as sinful and undeserving of God’s grace. 
  • Jesus welcomed those otherwise shunned.
  • He defined what it meant to be love: giving sight to the blind, visiting prisoners, setting captives free, care and provide for those who cannot care for themselves.

In short, Jesus’ example is one of kindness – to every single person whatever their need might be.

Love is Kindness.

Also, as Bono of U2 described in the lyrics he wrote for song of the same name:

Love is Blindness.

To exercise the kindness Love requires, we must take on a sort of blindness. Blindness in this case is related to judgment. To truly Love, we must set aside the conditioning and experiences we have had which may have prejudiced us against others, or which has caused us to separate each other into “us and them.” Love sees no separation – only the fact that we are ONE human race, each deserving of love, respect, honor, and care.

This is what I saw in the “No Kings” gatherings – not a bunch of people against something, but a mass of people for humanity. We are one humanity on an individual and collective journey toward Love. Kindness is one path that helps us to get there.

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An Uncommon Priesthood

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

Uncommon: not ordinarily encountered: unusual; remarkable, exceptional

Priest: someone who is authorized to perform the sacred rites of a religion especially as a mediatory agent between humans and God

Priesthood: the office, dignity, or character of a priest

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

On the first day of the Christology course that was part of my ministry training, our (female) professor asked those of us who felt called to ordination to raise our hands. The men in our class, as was to be expected, raised their hands as they were on the track to becoming deacons. My friend, Karen, and I also raised our hands. That got us a giggle because women, of course, are not allowed to be ordained, either as a deacon or a priest, in the Catholic Church.

I was a preacher
My heart broke for all the world
But teaching was unrighteous for a girl
In the summer I was baptized in the mighty Colorado
In the winter I heard the hounds and I knew I had been found
And in my Savior’s name, I laid my weapons down
But I am still around… (Highwomen, lyrics by Amanda Rose Shires / Brandi Carlile / Jimmy L. Webb)

That was thirty years ago, and yet still today, women are barred from priesthood in the Catholic Church. That prohibition, however, has not lessened my call to be priest. In the years since, I have discerned priesthood through two denominations outside of the Catholic Church, but in both instances, the prevalence of clericalism in those institutions dissuaded me from completing that path.

Clericalism:  a policy of maintaining or increasing the power of a religious hierarchy (to Merriam-Webster’s definition, I would add: lauding, flaunting, defending, and enforcing that power and in some cases, using it to justify non-loving acts)

To me, priesthood has never been about power. It has always been about service. Neither has it been about hierarchy. Instead, it is a collaboration of gifts in support of individual and collective need. This is the priesthood I see in Jesus and what he drew forth from those who gathered around him. Jesus was not a leader who wanted followers. Instead, he was a catalyst who empowered people in their gifts. By humbly serving those most in need, Jesus’ example challenged the religious and political institutions of his time. These institutions valued their power and privilege over the people they were meant to serve.

Sadly, Jesus’ example did not stand as the early disciples (Peter and Paul in particular) traded the collaborative empowerment that Jesus’ taught them for patriarchal and hierarchical power. This model still stands today in nearly all Christian institutions. This is why I did not, cannot, and refuse, to fit into any institution that values power over service.

Instead, it seems, I have carved out a priesthood all my own. One that has been ordained, not by a bishop’s anointing and laying on of hands, but by careful attention to the call of Love, and living out that Love in all the many ways I have been called. Sometimes this call looks priestly in the marriages and funerals I officiate. Sometimes this call looks formative as I create and facilitate classes and write books in support of participants’ personal/spiritual development. Sometimes it looks pastoral in the one-on-one spiritual counseling I provide. Sometimes the service I provide supports people in their healing, in finding direction, and in experiencing comfort.

Most commonly, however, my priesthood is confirmed in unexpected and surprising ways. It is known in the 6am phone call from a distant friend seeking support for a family member in crisis. It is known in the generous financial donations I sometimes find in my mailbox. It is known in the confidences people have shared with me during challenging times. It is in the many acquaintances who suddenly seek my support and my own wondering of why they chose me. Why would they trust me with this, I barely know them? And yet, time and time and time again, this is so. People who I know – but not really. Amazing, lovely people who I have come to know and love along the way – but we don’t really hang out. People who I know from simply being me in the small community where I live. People, in whom I’ve likely seen something (love, kindness, generosity, honesty, integrity, authenticity) who are somehow seeing me, and trusting me with the most intimate and challenging times of their lives.

This is the priesthood for which I am most grateful.  A priesthood that is unexpected and surprising and looks absolutely nothing like what we have come to associate with being priest. And yet, it is exactly what the Catholic Church preaches in its invitation to participate in the priesthood of all believers (Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraphs: 1267, 1268, 1141, 1143, 1268, 1305, 1535, 1547, 1591, and 1592). Whereas the institutional church does not recognize my priestly calling, I am profoundly humbled and grateful to all those who have invited me to serve in this role.

Will the Real Magdalene Please Stand Up?

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

In the forty years (or so) that I have been working with Mary Magdalene I have come across at least a million different theories about who she was/is, what her life looked like, where she lived, who she slept with and who her children might be. In the twenty years (or so) that I have been actively studying and researching the Magdalene, I have read at least a hundred books specifically dedicated to her which also bears their own theories of the Magdalene.  Some call her an Ascended Master, others an Essene High Priestess, others a prostitute, others an adulterous woman, others the Sang Grael and the mother of a dynasty of European kings and queens (Jesus’ own progeny), and some claim her as a goddess.  Most of these books are based entirely on theory, oral legend or claim to have been “directly channeled” from the Magdalene herself.

Scholars who study the Magdalene refrain from making such claims and instead stick to what they are able to glean from archeological evidence, scripture itself, and ancient re-discovered manuscripts.  My personal preference is to lean toward a more scholarly approach while avoiding the temptation to either define the Magdalene or condemn another’s theory.  It is for this reason that I call my book Song of the Beloved – the Gospel According to Mary Magdalene fiction.  At the end of the day, unless we were there, we know nothing certain about the Magdalene, and until we have passed from this plane, we will never know.

All that being said, I cannot discount the direct, personal experiences and revelations I have had of the Magdalene (and Jesus) through my meditation and prayer.  These revelations have guided and informed my work – my writing and publishing, but most importantly, these revelations guided and informed the human development courses that I have developed and which now make up the Magdalene Priest/ess Training.  This work is rooted in scripture (canonical as well as non-canonical) and embraces the rich tradition of Christian contemplative meditation and prayer practices as its foundation. This work is further supported by modern theories of human development as they have been expressed through Humanist and Transpersonal Psychology. 

Through the integration of scholarly research and personal revelation, what I have come to understand about the Magdalene and the view I present to the world is that:

  • She was not the adulterous woman of scripture.
  • The “healed of seven demons” said of her is likely referring to a formal process of initiation that supported her journey of self-actualization which she underwent with Jesus’ guidance, successfully completed, and then went on to teach others.
  • She is the only one is scripture said to have completed such a process.
  • She stood beside Jesus (unlike his other disciples who hid in the Upper Room) through his trial, crucifixion, death and burial.
  • She was the one to whom the Resurrected Christ was revealed and THE ONE commissioned to bring the news to the other disciples.
  • She continued to have direct, personal and private visitations by Christ through which he imparted upon her his secret teachings. When she tried to share these teachings with the other disciples they ridiculed and condemned her.

All of these “theories” of the Magdalene are taken directly from scripture and affirmed through scholarship (See resources below).

Beyond this, I personally like to believe that Jesus and Mary were husband and wife and that they were equal, co-ministers in sharing the law of love.  I also like to believe that Mary is the only one to have received the full understanding and knowledge of what Jesus came to teach and that she was chosen by Jesus to continue his work.  Legend tells us that she went forth from Palestine and ventured to Alexandria, Egypt, the South of France and perhaps even Glastonbury, England in her journey of sharing the message of love.  None of this can be verified, but it resonates as truth to me.

And you, O tower of the flock,
hill of daughter Zion,
to you it shall come,
the former dominion shall come,
the sovereignty of daughter Jerusalem.

Now why do you cry aloud?
Is there no king in you?
Has your counselor perished,

that pangs have seized you like a woman in labor?
Writhe and groan,O daughter Zion,
like a woman in labor;
for now you shall go forth from the city
and camp in the open country;
you shall go to Babylon.

There you shall be rescued,
there the Lord will redeem you
from the hands of your enemies.

Now many nations
are assembled against you,
saying, “Let her be profaned,
and let our eyes gaze upon Zion.”
But they do not know
the thoughts of the Lord;
they do not understand his plan,
that he has gathered them as sheaves to the threshing floor.
Arise and thresh,
O daughter Zion,
for I will make your horn iron
and your hoofs bronze;
you shall beat in pieces many peoples,
 and shalldevote their gain to the Lord,
 their wealth to the Lord of the whole earth.

Micah 4: 8-13

Select Resources

Bourgeault, Cynthia, The Meaning of Mary Magdalene – Discovering the Woman at the Heart of Christianity, Shambhala Publications, 2010.

Haskins, Susan, Mary Magdalene – Myth and Metaphor, Harcourt Brace & Company, 1993.

King, Karen, L., The Gospel of Mary of Magdala – Jesus and the First Woman Apostle, Polebridge Press, 2003.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, Judas and Jesus – Two Faces of a Single Revelation, Inner Traditions, 2006.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Gospel of Mary Magdalene, Inner Traditions, 2002.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Gospel of Philip, Inner Traditions, 2003.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Gospel of Thomas, Inner Traditions, 2005.

Leloup, Jean-Yves, The Sacred Embrace of Jesus and Mary – The Sexual Mystery at the Heart of the Christian Tradition, Inner Traditions, 2005.

MacDermot, Violet, The Fall of Sophia – A Gnostic Text on the Redemption of Universal Consciousness, Lindisfarne Books, 2001.

Malachi, Tau, The Gnostic Gospel of St. Thomas – Meditations on the Mystical Teachings, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2004.

Malachi, Tau, Gnosis of the Cosmic Christ – a Gnostic Christian Kabbalah, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2005.

Malachi, Tau, Living Gnosis – A Practical Guide to Gnostic Christianity, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2005.

Malachi, Tau, St. Mary Magdalene – The Gnostic Tradition of the Holy Bride, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2006.

Enrollment is currently open for the Magdalene Training Program. Click on the image below to learn more:

Just Say No!

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Revealing the patriarchal wound in American institutions

Regardless of our thoughts on the Trump administration, we cannot deny the way this presidency is revealing the woundedness and corruption of long-cherished American institutions. This woundedness can be summed up in one simple way:

The Trump presidency is showing us how firmly entrenched American institutions are in patriarchy.

While this may be obvious considering that the vast majority of American institutions are founded on a patriarchal/hierarchical model. Patriarchal institutions favor the powerful few while imposing subservience on everyone else.

What has not been so obvious until now is the way in which these patriarchal institutions, and those within these institutions, have allowed themselves to become subservient to the system in which they exist. Patriarchy begets patriarchy with subtle layers of privilege imprisoning those within the very system. Let me point out a few examples:

  1. When the Trump administration ordered the elimination of DEI programs and initiatives, and then Universities and other institutions complied.
  2. When the Trump administration ordered the arrest and deportation of student protestors, and universities (and the Supreme Court) allowed this to happen.
  3. When the Trump administration threatened to deny universities of federal student loan and grant funding, and universities said and did nothing.

These are just three simple examples, all involving universities and colleges. These educational institutions DID NOTHING to stand up for equity and diversity programming, to protect the first amendment, to keep their foreign students safe, or argue against the deprivation of funding upon which they (and their students) rely. They did nothing. Instead, institutions who claim certain values appeared willing to forsake these values simply because someone who appears to be higher than they are on the totem pole of power told them to.

The burning question here is why didn’t they JUST SAY NO!?

The easy answer might be because of money. Each of these orders were accompanied by a threat of financial deprivation. The more subtle answer, and one even more significant than money, is the reality that every single institution who has complied with the president’s orders are patriarchal in nature and structure. The fact that they so readily bowed to threats proves that they are so entrenched in the system that they are willing to forsake the stated values of the institution and the rights of their students in favor of their own place within the system. “Yes sir, Mr. President, go ahead and deport our students, threaten their first-amendment rights, create an environment that deprives people of color, who struggle with disabilities, who don’t fit into “traditional” definitions of gender and sexuality, etc. with opportunities, etc.  Go ahead and do all this and we will stand by and watch and do nothing.”  By kowtowing to the demands of a bully, they secure their place within the system.

By remaining in a system that rules by threats and intimidation, they have made themselves the cause of their own demise.  What is true of every oppressive system is true here. By letting the bully win, you have already lost.

The correct response to oppression, is and has always been to

JUST SAY NO!

On both an individual and macrocosmic level, the path to escaping oppression begins with one single word, and that word is NO. Just say no! To the universities and other institutions receiving orders from the current administration that are accompanied by threats, just say no! Say no to ICE raids. Say no to the elimination of your DEI programs (or maintain the programming and call it something else!  DUH!). Say no to threats against the right to free speech, including the right to protest and peaceful assembly. When threatened with the withholding of federal student loan and grant funding, come together with other educational institutions and file a class-action lawsuit against the president. JUST SAY NO!

The same goes for each and every one of us. We live in a nation in which we have been given certain rights and in which these rights are said to be guaranteed. Stand up for those rights. Say no to threats and intimidation. Say no to those things that threaten the rights of others.

Escaping an oppressive system begins with one simple word, and that word is NO. Just say it!

Under patriarchy we lose:

  •   Access to our own inner authority.
  •   Freedom to discern our own truth and choose our own path.
  •  Belief in ourselves as loveable for exactly who we are without having to seek after acceptance or approval.
  • The power of our own executive functioning as seen in our relentless search for a savior.

In this six-week course, we will explore the ways in which we have been imprisoned by the patriarchy and the subtle ways in which this imprisonment is experienced.

Learn more and enroll HERE

Christians Giving God a Bad Name

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Ugh!  Where do I even begin? I guess the best place is what is right in front of our noses as we seem to be living through some sort of apocalyptic fever dream created by a certain kind of so-called Christian. This apocalyptic fever dream is predicated on the defense of perceived white, straight- male privilege, fortified by the narcissistic belief of having been chosen by God, and enforced through illegal capture and incarceration. In this fever dream, there are those chosen by God and those who are the enemy. Those chosen are male of white, straight, European descent who claim to be Christian (and their complicit women). The enemy is everyone else.

These so-called chosen ones claim a white, male God who loves them and hates everyone else. They believe in a time of God’s choosing where they will be ushered into heaven while the remaining are cast into hell. They believe it is their duty to first impose and then enforce “God’s law” (as they understand it).  Any and every means of enforcement is allowed and even celebrated. They consider themselves to be soldiers for God and many have the arsenal to show for it. Their God is the only god, and all other expressions of God are wrong. They celebrate power and wealth and worship the prosperity gospel – believing wealth is their divine right and that if they don’t have it, “the enemy” is at fault. It is therefore their right to destroy the enemy because the enemy is keeping them from what God wills for them. It is their duty to hate those who God hates.

These people call themselves Christian. They claim to know Christ, but I’m quite certain they do not. They may know some version of Christ that they learned from their parents or pastors, but I’m fairly certain if the Love that is Christ showed up in the form of Jesus – a dark-skinned Palestinian man – they would seek to crucify him. (interesting how history unhealed repeats itself).

The very human part of me becomes enraged when I hear people who call themselves Christian preaching racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and sexism. I want to go into battle when I hear Christians justifying evil as “God’s-will.” I want to throw bibles at those who believe it is their divine mission to ignore the needs of the poor and eradicate the programs that provide for their basic needs. I want to throw stones at those who believe food, clothing, shelter, education, and healthcare are solely the right of the privileged and not rights for all. I want to tar and feather them with the words of Jesus (and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights) that say otherwise.

I want to but I won’t. While I feel insane hearing these people speak of their God and their divine rights, the compassionate part of me also understands what I can only imagine as deep, impenetrable wounds that would cause one to see right past the Love that is God and was modeled and taught by Jesus (and a whole slew of other great humans), and into the eyes of hate.

I don’t understand it. But, I wasn’t raised in a home or by a religion that taught me to hate. Sometimes, delivered by imperfect humans (we’re all imperfect), the messages caused confusion, and at times the messages were conflicting, but at the end of the day, I saw past the human imperfection to the Love that was either right in front of my eyes, or hiding beneath the surface. While divine punishment and threats of hell may have been uttered, Love always won out. I heard the Love louder than the fear and it is that which guided me to the “God” that I know today.

My “God” isn’t the old man in the sky (even though that image still persists). To me, God is Love (1 John 4:7). As Love, I can no longer imagine a hell or a devil whose job is to drag us there. God, to me, is not defined by form, but is omnipresent – PRESENT IN ALL THINGS. God is imminent and immanent. God is in us (Luke 17: 20-21) and all around us. God is everything and is Ain-Sof (the no-thing). God is the Source from which all things come forth and to which all things return. This Source is LOVE.

This is the “God” that I have come to know in being raised Catholic, thirty years of dedicated study of scripture including modern-day scripture scholars, and over sixty years of personal meditation, contemplation and prayer over the life of Jesus and his teachings. This Love/God is what has guided me on my path, initiated corrections when I veered from that path, and led me to the deep well of inner peace and contentment that can only come as one comes to know that Love.

When Christians give God a bad name, I think of this.  I think of the God that I have come to know and the hate that is impossible in the face of this Love. I find myself sad for those who think they know God when all they truly know is hate. I wish and pray that one day Love will break them open and show them the peace, joy, and wonder that this Love brings, and how in the face of this Love all fear and separation falls away. I wish for them to realize the Love they are in this Love, and the Love that is in all things. I pray for them to understand that they, and all of creation are expressions of God’s Love. I want for them to have the change of heart that this understanding brings. This change of heart will then empower them to lay down their swords and replace them with Love. Love will then compel them on the path of goodness that knows we are here, not to serve our fear-driven desires, but to be and do the work of Love in the world – healing the sick, caring for the poor, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, providing shelter for the homeless, and setting captives free, as Jesus called us to do. In doing this, they will be proof of the time-honored hymn: “They will know we are Christians by our Love.”

New Live Course: UNCHAINED

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Six-week Live (via ZOOM) Course

(recorded for later viewing for those unable to attend live)

Wednesdays 6:30 – 8:30 pm Central Time

March 5 – April 9, 2025

Registration limited to 25 participants

(for people of all genders for we are all negatively affected by patriarchal conditioning)

Learn more and enroll

Unchained – Freeing Yourself from Patriarchal Conditioning

For over five-thousand years, humanity has been imprisoned by patriarchal rule. Under the rule of patriarchy, human beings have been conditioned by fear to be subservient to an outside perceived authority. Under the threat of punishment, and wrapped in a cloak of false promises, humanity has given over its power to a seemingly powerful few.

Under patriarchy, toxic masculinity is the ruling force and privilege is afforded primarily to white men of wealth. All other human beings are then divided into a hierarchy of servitude to the powerful few.

The patriarchy requires:

  • ·         Blind obedience to a self-appointed outside perceived authority.
  • ·         Subservience to this authority.
  • ·         Expectations of duty.
  • ·         Dependency based on false promises of provision and protection.

Under patriarchy we lose:

  • ·         Access to our own inner authority.
  • ·         Freedom to discern our own truth and choose our own path.
  • ·         Belief in ourselves as loveable for exactly who we are without having to seek after acceptance or approval.
  • ·         The power of our own executive functioning as seen in our relentless search for a savior.

In this six-week course, we will explore the ways in which we have been imprisoned by the patriarchy and the subtle ways in which this imprisonment is experienced:

  • ·         In our own lives
  • ·         In our relationships
  • ·         In society
  • ·         In the workplace
  • ·         In our underlying sense of shame or guilt
  • ·         In our conditioned sense of duty
  • ·         In our search to be saved

We will then explore ways in which we can free ourselves from this conditioning.

This course will consist of:

  • ·         Inspirational readings
  • ·         Lessons
  • ·         Contemplation and Reflection
  • ·         Discussion

*Content portion of sessions will be recorded and available for viewing within 24 hours of the live gathering for those who are unable to attend live. 

Learn more and enroll

Love Waiting to Be Found

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

*an excerpt from my book, Choosing Love.

A man I know to be one of the kindest, most generous, faithful, and humble human beings, posted a horribly negative comment against our incoming government officials who are of the Muslim faith.  I joined my daughter in righteous anger over his comments.  How could someone who claims to be a devout Christian, and otherwise a good, kind, and generous man believe such horrible things of our Muslim brothers and sisters?  I was angry, but beyond the anger, I felt horribly sad.  How could this man, for whom I otherwise have the utmost respect, believe that his hatred and fear of Muslims is any way shape or form consistent with Jesus’ teachings?  I wanted to step in and ask him if he had read the story of The Good Samaritan (Luke 10: 25-37) – a story Jesus used to teach us that often the kindest and most “Godly” acts are performed by those who are not of our “tribe” or “belief system.”  I also wanted to quote the story of the Syrophoenician woman (Mark 7: 24-30) who was instrumental in converting Jesus of his own beliefs – who through her persistence and insistence convinced Jesus that he was here for the whole world – not just the tribes of Israel.  I refrained from commenting, but I still found myself troubled. So I brought this quandary to prayer.

This is when my compassion stepped in.  My friend, in his fear and hatred of Muslims is simply believing what he has been taught by the version of Christianity to which he subscribes – a version cloaked in the same fear of “the other” that he already carried in his mind.  To me, this is very sad.  And yet, this man, like every single human being walking this planet, is a vessel of Love just waiting to be found.  Quite simply, he hasn’t yet found the fullness of his Love – the Love he already is and was made to be, but which is currently hidden beneath a curtain of fear.  He freely and generously loves those who believe as he does and in his working profession, generously loves those in need of his service.  But, because he doesn’t yet know the fullness of the Love that he is and he hasn’t yet discovered the fullness of Divine love, he is not yet able to love every human being in the way that God does.  Here he is bearing out Jesus’ most profound and simplest teaching:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.”  Mark 12: 30-31

This scripture has most often been interpreted as a commandment, but it could just as easily be taken as an observation of what is true.  We are only capable of loving our neighbor to the extent that we love ourselves.  Put another way, the degree to which we can love other human beings is proportionate to the degree to which we believe in God’s love for us, and the degree to which we are able to love ourselves as God loves us.  This is a plain and simple human truth.  My friend is unable to love his Muslim brothers and sisters because for some reason he does not yet comprehend the vast and unconditional nature of God’s love and in this, is also unable to unconditionally love himself.  He still has more love in him waiting to be found.

The same is true of all of us.  Each one of us is Love waiting to be found.  And every one of us is somewhere along the continuum of finding and then living from that love. Our actions on this human plane reflect the degree to which we know the love that we are. 

This brings me to the topic of evil.  In the human experience we witness a whole lot of what we are tempted to judge as evil.  Evil, we have been taught, is the antithesis of love and something to fear and work toward eradicating. We are taught that God judges us according to our evil and that we are then punished accordingly.  This is not what Jesus taught – but it is how fearful men have interpreted Jesus’ teachings and used this interpretation to gain an advantage.   The issue is ultimately one of translation. 

Evil does not mean the same thing as the word Jesus used that has been translated into “evil.”  The Aramaic word Jesus used was bisha (Neil Douglas Klotz, Prayers of the Cosmos).  Bisha is an agricultural word which simply means unripe.  When Jesus uses the word “evil” in scripture, he is simply observing the unripe nature of the person committing said-evil.  There is no judgment here, only a direct observation of the actions arising out of one who has not yet ripened in love. 

When we have not uncovered the fullness of our Love, then we act from limited and fearful states.  In God’s eyes, we are not “evil” in the way that we understand this word in our English language – we are unripe – our fruit is immature.  I like to think of it this way – when we walk up to an apple tree and see that the apples are not yet ripe, we don’t shake our fist in condemnation over the unripe apples.  We simply wait until apples are ripe. 

The same is true of God.  God is watching all of us, patiently waiting for us to come into our own ripeness and loving us through every stage of our own personal process.  We are all Love waiting to be found and God is waiting along with us – excitedly and with anticipation – the same way we anxiously and excitedly wait for our own children to reveal who they truly are. 

We are all love waiting to be found and the Divine is here loving us into knowing the fullness of this love.  It is up to us to say yes.  We say yes every time we are willing to receive healing for the fears and unhealed wounds that otherwise hide our love. In the end, this is my prayer for my friend – that he finds healing for the fears within him that are limiting his ability to know and live from the fullness of the Love that I already see glowing within him.

Choosing Love is a collection of fifty-two spiritual lessons and practices for personal and global transformation. These lessons and practices invite you to shake off the cloak of cultural conditioning and discover the freedom of the LOVE hidden within. Here there is no God to appease, no outside perceived authority whose approval needs to be earned, and nothing that can keep you from being and living as your most authentic self. LOVE is who you are. Choose that LOVE.

Buy it Now

What Privilege Taught Me to Believe

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 1 Comment

and how those beliefs were undone

I didn’t grow up wealthy, but I did grow up privileged. I was born white to middle class parents, raised in a predominantly white third-generation neighborhood of white-collar professionals and tradesmen. In most of the homes around us, the men worked, and the mothers stayed home. The children were feral and unsupervised, only because everyone believed we were safe. We had a roof over our head, three square homecooked meals a day, new clothing (unless you were a younger sibling), and a basement full of toys. We enjoyed piano and dance lessons. Our parents sent us to private school.

Life was good and in that state of perceived safety and abundance, we believed in the promise of “The American Dream” – a good education and hard work was the path to success and the harder you worked, the more successful you would become. We were also taught that welfare was for lazy people and we should judge them and treat them accordingly. There was a clear dividing line between us (hard workers) and them.  And a not-so-subtle dividing line between us (white people) and them (people of color).

All of this happened along side a devout Catholic upbringing. God was the old man in the sky. We were undeserving of God’s love. God’s love had to be earned and could be taken away. And abortion was a mortal sin. We were even invited to join the school’s “Pro-Life” club from whom we would get a bright shiny silver bracelet marking us as “soldiers of Christ” in the war against abortion (this was all on the heels of Roe vs. Wade). As a young adult, I volunteered at a pro-life “clinic” for women facing unexpected pregnancies.

In addition to all of this: we were raised Republican. We were told Republicans were good and were looking out for the good of the people and that Democrats were communists – and that was bad! I remember knock down drag ‘em out fights between certain family members who (gasp) belonged on different ends of the political spectrum. The Democrats were good people, but clearly delusional – at least that’s what we were led to believe.

In college (YES!  I attended university, which was mostly paid for by my parents – another privilege), I joined a sorority (more privilege), continued attending mass and attended adult faith formation classes. I voted for Ronald Reagan, and later, for George H. W. Bush.

Other than being a brunette, I was the stereotypical white girl of privilege.

But then, life happened.

My previous stance on abortion was the first thing to go. In the volunteer position, I witnessed first-hand the violent tactics often used by the Pro-life movement in dissuading women from seeking an abortion. There was no compassion shown, only judgment, accompanied by violent and graphic images of late-term abortions. There was a reason I wasn’t allowed into the “counseling” room at the clinic. Additionally, with over 40% of pregnancies being unplanned, I was bound to eventually meet a young woman, likely a friend, who would have to face a sometimes-difficult choice. As statistics would have it – I did – come to know of several friends who at one time had to face an unplanned pregnancy. Further, I knew of several who had no choice but to seek the termination of the pregnancy for medical issues related to either the baby, or their own survival. Abortion, it turned out, wasn’t so black and white.  How could I judge a woman (or a couple) who was having to face the most difficult decision of their life – one that would stay with them their whole life. The decision to terminate a pregnancy (no matter what the circumstances) is a wound that does not heal.  It changes, but the pain will always be there on some level. Compassion told me to put myself in the others’ shoes and support them through a very difficult decision. And to understand that at any point, I could find myself in a similar position forced to make a similar difficult choice.

The second thing that went was my belief in the American Dream. The first of this leaving happened in my own professional journey. Sheepskin in hand, I went out looking for work. And this is a FACT – not once in my 40 years of being in the post-college workforce have I made more than $26,000 per year.  NEVER.  Not once.  This was not for lack of effort, work, skills, or abilities. Now at a ripe almost 60, it is not for lack of education, experience, or expertise. The universe has imposed some sort of invisible ceiling between myself and money – never even surpassing (which was also the big privileged promise) the salary of my father.

Hard work and a college education, as it turns out, is NOT a guaranteed path to wealth.

No matter how much someone else wants to tell you otherwise.

Then I experienced poverty. Thankfully not poverty of the sort that far too many suffer, but I have faced an enduring period of financial struggle – the likes of which has had me utilizing some of those so-called “communist” programs. I have received rental assistance and energy assistance. I qualified for Food Stamps and could have been using the Food Pantry (I chose to use neither, but at a grave consequence to me financially – eventually leading to bankruptcy). I have enjoyed the profound benefits of the Affordable Healthcare Act – in fact, my life depends on it. Finally, I am on an income-based repayment plan for my graduate school student loans (if anyone wants to argue with me about student loan forgiveness, DON’T!!!!!  I will direct you straight to Matt Taibbi and his expose’ on the criminal nature of the student loan industry!!!!!) 

Beyond my own personal experience, I have witnessed hundreds, if not thousands struggling with similar or much worse circumstances. I have seen, through clear eyes, that the so-called “American Dream” is a lie and that there are, indeed, systemic obstacles to Americans realizing that dream. This fact of reality breaks my heart and inspires me to share my own journey beyond the lies that come with privilege.

As it relates to Catholicism.  This may be the biggest irony of them all. I have always been a woman of faith (whatever that means). I was a devout Catholic until the local Church made it clear I was no longer welcome. Jesus is my teacher and Mary Magdalene has become a guide. I sometimes pray the rosary and turn to Michael the Archangel in times of anxiety. I cherish my Catholic upbringing – for good and bad – but mostly, for what I learned about social justice:

Jesus calls us to love.  Period. And he was quite clear about what love looked like:

  • Judge not lest ye be judged.
  • Love your neighbor as yourself.
  • Everyone is your neighbor.
  • Welcome immigrants and foreigners.
  • Feed the hungry.
  • Set prisoners and captives free.
  • Clothe the naked.
  • Heal the sick.
  • Give sight to the blind.
  • Welcome “the other” to your table.
  • If someone asks for your cloak, give them your shirt as well.
  • Love one another.  Period.

As it turns out, it is my faith that has called me to depart from the politics in which I was once immersed and toward a political stance that supports the needs of the all. As my own life has shown me, even privilege does not guarantee that life will provide us with what we need. It has also shown me that by our own efforts, our own needs may not necessarily be met. There’s a little story in scripture that seems to provide a solution to this quandary:

All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. (Acts 2: 44-45)

If a sharing among the common good was good enough for Jesus and his earliest disciples, then it’s good enough for me. This is what love has taught me.