Believe in the Darkness

July 8, 2024 / Lauri Ann Lumby / 1 Comment

Believe in the darkness

and the spaces in between

for these are your teachers –

where you are forced to face your demons

and stare down the face of emptiness.

It is here, in the void, where all wisdom lies.

Where your sharpened edges are made smooth

by sitting with your discomfort

and sense of unease.

As life grows darker you must become small.

Contracting all you are –

your hopes

and dreams

and childhood wishes –

until you disappear into the no-thing,

until you become one with the no-thing.

until you become the no-thing itself.

It is here in the greatest stage of contraction

when all becomes invisible –

indistinguishable from the darkness

and emptiness of the void

where you shall glimpse the infinite potential

that resides at the center of nothing

and feel the rising pressure of a new world waiting to be born.

Believe in the darkness.

copyright Lauri Ann Lumby

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She Moves in Darkness

June 2, 2024 / Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

She moves in darkness.

Through the tangled forest of despair

and the dark night of the soul.

Witness and companion

to all that hides in the shadow.

Reaching out a hand to all

that has been ignored, repressed, suppressed,

or otherwise held at bay.

“Come forth my frightened ones

and those made to feel ashamed,

for here you will find love.”

A gentle touch

with kindness in her eyes.

She who was once hard

made soft in the depths of her own despair.

Guide in the darkness,

for she now knows the way.

“It’s not by light

that one finds their way in the dark

but by becoming one with its depths.”

Goddess of Darkness?

May 21, 2024 / Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

A funny thing happened last week that completely and totally made my day. I was stopping at my favorite local coffee shop (the one I call my second home) for my 10 am emotional support coffee. There was a newish batch of baristas working and I asked to be reminded of our new family members’ names. One of the newish baristas reminded me of his name. I said thank you, and was about to re-introduce myself and he interrupted, “Oh I know you as Lauri, Goddess of Darkness.” My heart melted with the fire of pure joy for being seen and known for who I truly am.

There’s a story about my name – as it relates to The New Moon Café and Coffee Shop. The owner and I are good friends and have known each other for close to twenty-five years. Since the first day the New Moon opened, I’ve been a devoted and regular customer. One day, I happened upon the owner as he was bringing in bags of coffee beans to be roasted. (they roast their own coffee and as a coffee connoisseur, I can attest their coffee is THE BEST I’ve ever tasted – especially their dark roasts) Aaron (my brother from another mother) says, “Lauri, check this out, I have a new fair-trade bean, from an all-woman cooperative.” “Oh my god, that’s so cool,” I said. Then jokingly, “You should do two roasts – a light roast and name it Goddess of Light and a dark roast and name it Goddess of Darkness.” I returned a couple days later to a sign announcing the latest dark roast coffee – “Goddess of Darkness” – named for and by me. (I also only drink dark roast). I LOVE MY NEW MOON FAMILY!

That’s the story of how a coffee got named, but in having an inside joke with me, Aaron unwrapped a deep and profound truth. As my life has continued to unfold, I find myself living more and more deeply into this name – Goddess of Darkness – so dark in fact, I may as well start calling myself Death.

As those who have worked with me professionally know, my greatest gifts lie in the shadows. I’m comfortable journeying with and supporting people through the darkest parts of life. Through the places that most are afraid to go. Death. Loss. Recovery from trauma, abuse, betrayal, heartbreak. I help people exhume that which has been buried/suppressed/repressed and assist them in bringing it to the light to be healed and transformed. I accompany people in the journey of facing their own shadow – the parts of themselves they’ve rejected, suppressed, ignored, freeing them from that which keeps them imprisoned by fear. I have sat with people through the most difficult places and parts of their journey, assuring them they are not alone, providing comfort and a place where they can be unburdened of all the pain they hold within themselves.

I am humbled and honored to be called into these intimate spaces with people – family, friends, and clients/students alike. I personally find comfort in the darkness for it is within the darkness that we find our truest selves.

Not everyone is comfortable in this dark place – especially when that dark place is defined by Death. Death holds a special kind of intimacy that requires both strength and vulnerability. More and more often, I find myself called into the most unexpected places where Death presides. Whether accompanying dear friends through the death of a child, being one of the first ones called when an acquaintance suffers a medical emergency, being invited to create and preside over a stranger’s funeral, or being invited to be confidant to one moving through a terrifying medical diagnosis, I am there – and I’m honored to be there. Death, to me is perhaps the most sacred of all human experiences for in facing Death, we are given the opportunity to see the face of God/Love. There is nothing more tender or intimate than being with another human being who finds themselves at the threshold between life and death – whether it is the person who is dying, or those who are experiencing death through the journey of one they love. Death is a holy and sacred place and I’m grateful for whatever it is in me that allows me to sit with another in that space as a source of – whatever they need. One time, what the bereaved needed from me was to weed their garden, because it was the one thing they couldn’t find the strength to do as they sat with a loved one in their final hours. I was there for that too.

So yeah, while “Goddess of Darkness” was initially a bit of a joke, this title has born itself out as true. I’m comfortable journeying with others through the darkest times of life – even/especially (it seems) when the darkness they are facing is Death itself, and I am humbled and honored to be there.

Order New Moon Coffee!

Order whole bean or ground New Moon original roast coffees by calling (920) 232-0976.

For dark roasts, I highly recommend the Goddess of Darkness or the South 605.

Tell them Lauri the Goddess of Darkness sent you. 😉

When Our Light Attracts Darkness

April 24, 2023 / Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

When we seek to live the path of Love our light draws others toward us like a moth is drawn to the flame. Some are attracted to us because they recognize in us something of their own truth. Perhaps we carry within us something that will help them to harness and live their own light. Maybe we have experience and knowledge that will help them with their own healing, growth, and empowerment. In these situations, the relationship that unfolds is reciprocal. We have an opportunity to share our gifts and the other has an opportunity to be empowered in their own. In this sharing we find fulfillment and so do they. Light begets light.

Not only does our light attract light, but it also attracts darkness. Some of this darkness may simply be woundedness in others that has a potential to find healing through the sharing of our gifts. When the drawing of this darkness empowers the other to seek and receive healing and do the work of further supporting that healing on their own, the experience, as explored above, is reciprocal. We have an opportunity to share our gifts and the other is healed and empowered through that sharing. Here, light transforms the darkness, thereby unleashing the light.

Not all darkness drawn to us seeks this kind of healing and empowerment, however. Instead, it is the kind of darkness that seeks to feed off our light. Parasitical in nature, this is the darkness that takes and gives nothing back. This is the darkness that seeks to be enabled and refuses to do its own inner work. This is the darkness that doesn’t want to be healed because they are content in their misery, blind to their own darkness, or gaining advantage over others through their darkness. Perhaps they enjoy being cruel to others or thrive off the pain they cause others through their non-loving actions.

These are examples of darkness that seeks the light off of which it can feed. In some cases, this darkness is jealous of the light, so it feigns friendship, pretending to be a source of support when instead it means to destroy. In other cases, the darkness seeks to take advantage of those of a kind and generous nature. Sometimes the darkness senses our own vulnerability and seeks their own ends by using these vulnerabilities against us. In some cases, this darkness has no substance of its own and hopes that by simple association they too will be cast in a better light. This is the kind of darkness that takes our light and uses it for its own end. Instead of experiencing fulfillment in engaging with this darkness, we are depleted. We may find ourselves feeling despairing or depressed, exhausted or fatigued, even physically and emotionally ill.

We cannot help that our light draws others toward us. What we can help (to some degree) is what we let in. We will never be perfect in our ability to discern between those drawn to us who will find empowerment with us, and those who seek only to take. But for the sake of our own wellbeing, we must seek to know and understand the signs and symptoms of parasites so that we might refuse them. We must also learn and cultivate practices for freeing and healing ourselves from the presence of parasites when we discover we have unwittingly let them in.

Darkness will always find a way to our light. We decide whether to let it in or how long to allow it to remain.