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Being Love requires persistence, discipline, personal responsibility, accountability, and courage. Being Love requires vulnerability and humility. Being Love asks us to be willing to admit where we have been wrong, especially when our being wrong has wronged another. Being Love requires forgiveness – forgiveness of self and other – but likely not the kind of forgiveness you learned about in church. Being Love requires commitment along with countless opportunities to re-commit.
Being Love is an inside job. Being Love takes work. Being Love is hard. It is for these reasons, and the ones mentioned above, that so few even attempt, let alone succeed at being Love. This is especially true in a world that wants to be hate and which appears to be overwhelmingly successful in being hate.
Hate is easy. Born out of our instinctual drive to be suspicious of that which is unfamiliar, hate separates and divides in an attempt to keep us safe from the unknown. As reasoning animals, we are supposed to evolve past this drive to separate. Sadly, most have not evolved past this, simply because evolving takes work. Hating is easy. Being Love is hard.
Even with intention, desire, commitment, and drive, being Love is hard. I’ve learned and experienced this in my own life. One of the reasons hatred is so easy is because it feeds us. Hatred allows us to believe we are right and everyone else is wrong. Hatred fills us with a charge that can feel energizing and empowering. Hatred makes us feel powerful. Hatred allows us to feel superior. Hatred creates in us the illusion of being safe from those who have or could cause us harm.
Feeding on hatred, however, is like ingesting poison. Feeding on hatred makes us sick. Many years ago I became aware of the ways in which hatred was harming me. Eventually I decided to stop.
Deciding to stop was only the first step, however. From then on, I have dived deeply into researching and applying a multitude of wisdom practices that have helped me move from being hate to being Love. In applying these practices, this is what I’ve learned:
This #8 may in fact be the single most important challenge to us as we try to be Love. Every single day we encounter wounded and broken human beings who do not know they are Love. Having never been given a chance, or having never chosen to evolve, they find themselves living solely out of their instinctual center. From this fear center, the only way they know how to function is to divide themselves from that which they perceive as different. It is out of this fear that things like racism, classism, sexism, xenophobia, and homophobia arise. While our reasoning minds might not be able to understand how someone would purposefully choose hatred, until we evolve beyond our instinctual drives, anything other than hatred might not be a choice. To put it succinctly, hatred is just another word for fear. While we might despise the actions of someone choosing hatred over Love, we can have compassion and love for the wounded human inside of them who doesn’t know any other way to respond to fear.
While responding to fear/hatred with more fear/hatred might be easy, it is not how we bring more Love into our world. The only way for Love to grow is to be Love ourselves. In being Love and continuing to heal the places in ourselves that have forgotten we are Love, we are providing humanity with an example of what Love looks like which then gives them an opportunity to make another choice.
Being hatred or being Love? It is a choice.

The Order of the Magdalene Formation Program provides you with resources, knowledge, and tools to support you in your own journey of self-discovery and empowerment.
I live in two different worlds: the world of Lauri Ann Lumby – author, spiritual counselor, educator, ordained minister; and the world of Lauri Lumby – office manager for a local arts/dance academy.
Living in the world of Lauri Ann Lumby is easy. Sharing my gifts flows without effort. I am filled and fulfilled when sharing my gifts. The people that receive my gifts come to me because they see value in what I offer and because my sharing helps them in some subjective way. In this world I’m in charge of my time, the environment in which I work, and I get to decide how and with whom I will work.
The world of Lauri Lumby is a challenge. There, my administrative abilities are the focus – not my soul gifts. Here I’m not in charge of the environment or the people. I do not get to chose with whom or how I will work. There it’s noisy, chaotic, and I’m forced to work outside of my comfort zone. My soul thrives in a structured, ordered, planned environment. The world of Lauri Lumby is everything but this.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the gifts I experience living in both worlds. The former feeds my soul. The latter prevents me from disappearing into my hermitage and in that world, I have gotten to know some truly amazing children and their families. I also find myself nourished by being in proximity to the arts. Finally, the latter pays my rent – something critical for the other world to survive.
The real challenge, however, comes when the gifts of Lauri Ann Lumby try to bleed into the world of the other Lauri. Lauri Ann Lumby sees and knows things. She can’t help but identify growth areas in an individual and in environments. She knows when things aren’t working out and how that might be repaired. Lauri Ann Lumby is improvement oriented. When Lauri Ann Lumby’s improvement orientation is triggered in the world of the other Lauri, things get really uncomfortable – not necessarily for anyone else but for me.
Unless….until….the soul-need to share my gifts goes unmet for so long that it starts to come out sideways. Which it did last night. In a moment of frustration over a pile-up of frustrations, I spoke harshly to a group of students who were not following instructions that I thought everyone understood. I made one of those students cry. ☹
I felt so bad. I never want to make a student cry. I immediately apologized and later, I went back and explained to the student that I had taken my frustration out on her over something completely unrelated to her. I’m not sure if she understood, and the damage was probably already done. I hope over time she will forgive me. I hope over time I’ll be able to forgive myself.
Being human is hard. We try our best. We attempt to manage our stress and anxiety. We try to find balance in environments whose dynamics are outside our preference. We try to be honest about our feelings and ask for our needs to be met. Sometimes our needs are met. Often they are not. We then work through the grief, frustration, even anger over needs going unmet. We apply self-care and engage in our mindfulness/stress-relief practices.
But sometimes…..sometimes…..it’s just too much and we lose our shit. Sometimes innocent people are the recipients of the shit we lose.
Being human is hard – especially when you’re already a perfectionist and recovering people-pleaser.
We do our best. We are sometimes successful. More often, we fail. The best we can do when we fail is to seek inside of ourselves, ask ourselves why, and do something to manage that why. Then we apologize and take responsibility for our failure, hoping that in time, the wounds resulting from the failure might heal – our own, and those we may have hurt simply because we are human.

Lauri Ann Lumby has over twenty-five years of experience as an educator, facilitator, spiritual counselor and soul-guide. She has supported hundreds through her one-on-one guidance, books, workshops, retreats, over thirty online courses, and online community.
Lauri is and author and a poet and has published eleven books including Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy, and her popular novel Song of the Beloved, the Gospel According to Mary Magdalene.
Lauri earned her master’s degree in Transpersonal Psychology from Sofia/ITP University, is a trained Spiritual Director in the Ignatian tradition and has certificates in Adult Education and Psycho-Spiritual Development. Lauri is a Reiki Master Practitioner in both the Usui and Karuna traditions and is an ordained interfaith minister.
We are living in dark times. In the United States where I live, we are facing very real threats to our liberties and our freedoms. In the past I have hesitated to call these actions “evil” because I do not believe in an external force of evil that is set out to harm us. As I no longer believe in an anthropomorphic “devil,” I cannot believe in evil as a malevolent force outside of us.
I still don’t believe in evil as an external god-like force, but after a week of deep prayer and meditation, especially around the evils I have experienced in my own life, I arrived upon an understanding of evil that I can agree to:
Evil is the physical manifestation of humanity’s fears.
When put into the context of what I believe about our human journey – its purpose and goal – which is to remember our original nature as Love/One by healing and transforming our unhealed fears, non-loving conditioning, trauma, woundedness, etc. I can believe in evil in this way.
Evil arises out of our collective fears and unhealed wounds.
History has shown this to be true. Nazi Germany – the Jewish Holocaust – and now the ongoing genocide in Palestine. Naziism arose out of the unhealed fears/wounds of WW1, which led to the Holocaust. Unhealed wounds over the Holocaust could be argued as the root of anti-Palestinian sentiments, oppression, and now genocide which has become the hallmark of Netanyahu’s hard-right Zionist movement. (to be clear…..I am not antisemitic. I am anti-genocide).
Caste
Something similar could be said of the United States – the core of our current (ongoing) troubles can be summed up in Isabel Wilkerson’s exploration of caste – a system based in the belief that “one kind of person is more deserving of freedom than another kind.” When western Europeans first settled in what later became “America,” they brought with them the wounds of the caste systems in which they were imprisoned. Never healing these wounds, they ended up inflicting the same kind of system on the indigenous who were already here, and later on every single group that was deemed “less than.” Caste, as Wilkerson argues, transcends racism. As such, Caucasians also suffer the effects of caste.
This unacknowledged caste system is at the root of our troubles and at the heart of it resides the unhealed wounds and fears of our collective past resulting in a lot of angry people who for generations have been ignored, oppressed, trod upon, denied dignity, honor and respect. When we examine this description, we see that nearly all of us qualify as suffering from caste in one way or another. The only ones who don’t suffer are those who have positioned themselves as “the ruling caste.” In the United States, these are extremely wealthy white men (and their complicit women) who have both stolen and been voluntarily given too much power.
Stolen power is easy to identify. Voluntarily given power is more difficult to comprehend. Who, in their right mind, would give an already powerful human more power? In short – those who feel most victimized by caste and who are desperately looking for someone to save them – specifically, those of the higher caste who promise to elevate another’s caste once put into power.
This is the work of evil – capitalizing on another’s unhealed wounds, vulnerability, and sense of powerlessness so that they might gain more power. The goal of evil is never to help or assist the “lesser-thans,” it is only to wrest more power from them.
Spiritual Warfare?
But what can we do in the face of such evil? Are we indeed powerless as the powerful and victimized would have us believe? The short answer is NO! We are not powerless and we do have tools and resources to help us combat this evil.
Yes, I said combat. I’ve never been one to jump on the “spiritual warfare” bandwagon, because that platform is rooted in the idea of a malevolent external source over which we have no power, and equally benevolent forces who we must call to our aid – again because we ourselves are powerless.
I do not believe in our powerlessness. Instead, I believe that when we understand the root cause of evil in our world, then we have an entire arsenal of weapons at our disposal – ones we can engage in and call on anytime and which are in our own power to use and through their use effect change.
To effect this change, we must first understand that the root of evil is unhealed wounds and unacknowledged fear. We must then understand that the transformation of evil occurs when we individually and collectively work to heal those fears. Finally, as Ulrich E. Duprée reminds in his book Ho’oponopono – the Hawaiian Ritual of Forgiveness, the fears and unhealed wounds we see in others are merely a reflection of the same fears in ourselves. When we engage in practices which support our own healing, there is a ripple effect that helps to bring healing to others.
With this, I offer two solid and effective practices for healing the unhealed fears and wounds in ourselves which can then help to support healing in others:
Ho’oponopono:
Recite the following mantra, directing the words toward yourself and to any feelings of fear or woundedness you might feel within yourself:
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Thank you.
Michael the Archangel Prayer:
An oldie moldy from my Catholic upbringing. Again, pray this prayer TO the fears and unhealed wounds within yourself. Feel free to change the language to fit your own personal beliefs:
Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do Thou,
O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the Power of God,
cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits,
who prowl through the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.
If you have other tools that you have found to be helpful, please share them in the comment section below! We are all here to take part of the healing of humanity so that one day we can all truly be free!
Forgive, but never forget! And….let go of any idea that what you’re trying to “forgive” will ever completely go away.
Sometimes, we can’t just “let it go.” We can move through the pain and heal it….bit by bit by bit. With some wounds (betrayals, deceptions, etc.) we can heal from most of the pain. With others, especially those of the deepest and most indelible nature, some of the wound may always remain.
It was once suggested to me by a trusted advisor, that with one wound in particular (that related to me being essentially excommunicated by the Catholic Church) I should just let it go. I’ve given a lot of prayerful consideration to her suggestion. It’s not that I disagree with her. Instead, I recognize that I, alone, do not have the power to be completely free of this wound. How can one be free of a wound where there has never been and will likely never be an apology or closure? I’m not closed to the fact that Grace might step in and I will suddenly find myself free of the hurt, the anger, the disappointment, the betrayal, and the heartache. Grace, however, is not something I can do for myself. I have learned that true Grace only comes from God (our own understanding of that which some might call “God.”)
Instead of placing pressure on myself or entertaining the finger of shame for not being able to “let it go,” I have chosen acceptance. I accept the invitation to continue the work of healing. I accept responsibility for my part in the healing. I accept the possibility of some miraculous intervention that might fully free me of the wound. I accept the very real possibility that I may never be fully free of this wound and that there will likely be situations, experiences, conversations, TV shows, news articles, social media posts, etc. that might trigger that wound, inviting me into another layer of healing.
Acceptance, I believe, is its own kind of forgiveness. It allows us to hold ourselves in compassion and loving care as we continue to allow the healing, without heaping pressure on ourselves to have to be perfectly healed. Acceptance means tending to the parts over which I have some measure of control, surrendering to that over which I have no control, and being at peace with my current state of being – whatever that may be.
It’s ok to be human and hurting. It is often through our own vulnerability and pain that we are able to be a source of compassionate care toward ourselves and then toward others.
The above is an entry from Lauri’s upcoming book, Unseen – the Memoir of an Invisible Woman. Find Lauri’s other books on Amazon.com HERE.