Hope

Letters from Hell #1

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Beloved Friends,

I saw a meme yesterday that read:

What if in 2020 we all died and this is hell?

These are the first words that have made any sense of the world in which we are currently living, because beyond all that we see on the surface of things, it sure feels like hell.

For me, my heart is broken over all of it – but mostly over the violent division that seems to currently define our nation, if not the world. It seems everywhere I look the finger of blame is being pointed in the opposite direction from where it should be pointed – away instead of toward, because…..

This hell in which we are living, is one of our own making.

When humanity makes gods of men, looking outside of ourselves for guidance, authority, leadership and direction, this is what we get. A bunch of unqualified, overly loud individuals getting rich off our willingness to give them our power.

In this current version of hell, censorship is king. If the “Emperor” doesn’t like what you say about him, then through money and power, you are silenced. Or, if the Emperor is in need of a martyr, one will be created.

All of this to feed the beast of division. Those in power believing that in dividing the nation, they will gain more power. Strangely, it seems their tactics are working as the powerful few gain increasing wealth as the world falls around their feet. What will be left when they are done? A world of ash where beauty once stood? No wonder they’re looking for a way to settle on Mars.

Many of us have known this was coming, but nothing could have prepared us for how truly awful it really is. The long, slow, excruciatingly painful death of the world built on fear, power, and control. Daily, I plead with the universe, DIE ALREADY!

I’m exhausted for the end of things, hoping that when this is all over (will it ever be over?) humanity will find a way to live in peace. But for the love of God, how long is this going to take?

Physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.  I’m not sure how much more any of us can take. We seem to be suffering from a collective sort of PTSD and recent events have only made it worse (thank you Justine Joslyn for this reminder!). 

I know my PTSD is triggered. I feel vulnerable, raw, and highly emotional. My head hurts. I feel the physical effects of cortisol raging through my body producing flu-like symptoms. My heart hurts. I am finding it hard to breathe. I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything. Yesterday, it was all I could do to sit on my couch and pray.

And when I’m at work, I feel broken and flawed. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong and that everything I’m doing is a mistake. I feel unqualified for a job for which I am, in truth, overqualified. I feel ashamed in my imperfection.

This is not me. At least, this isn’t normal me. This is me under panic and in a heightened state of activation. I am finding it hard to focus. I am doomscrolling for something – anything to make me feel safe.  I know better than this – but I can’t help myself.

I feel desperate – desperate for a moment to breathe, a moment to feel safe, a moment of peace in which the world isn’t suddenly exploding with some new tragic or devastating news. I hate it here.

But just when I’m ready to completely give up on humanity, wishing and hoping for this all to be over, I am reminded by the wisdom of youth, in this case my daughter. Yesterday I texted her, “The world just needs to end already.” This was her heart-wrenching, wise response:

“I want the world to get better. There’s still stuff I wanna do.”

UGH!  Knife to the heart! A knife to my heart that broke me wide open. In her wise words, my daughter spoke what we all want:

We want the world to be better. We want it to be better for ourselves, but even more so, for our children and our children’s children. For these, we must hang on to hope – cling to it even. With these words, I will leave you with this:

With the deepest love,

Lauri

A Word to Rouse the Weary

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

This morning, I awoke with the following words rolling over and over in my mind:

“The Lord GOD has given me a well-trained tongue, that I might know how to speak to the weary a word that will rouse them.” (Isaiah 50:4-5)

I’m not sure if God is giving me an order or words to rouse myself.

Oh my God we are weary!  I’m weary. I think we’re all weary.

The weight of the world, especially the world of late, is just too much. Human beings were not made to live this way or under this much distress.

Just when I want to throw America a pity-party, I am reminded of the literal carnage the innocent people of Gaza have been living under, and the abject terror felt by those in Ukraine. Further are the ongoing conflicts in Sudan and the DRC, and every other location on this planet that is experiencing civil war and unrest.

From this perspective, I guess we (Americans) should be grateful. Things could be a whole lot worse.

But still, it sucks. Where once there was an illusion of hope, all it seems that we have now is sorrow and despair as we watch our rights being threatened and the rights of others literally torn from their grasp.

What words could I possibly offer to rouse the weary?

Is it enough to simply acknowledge the soul-crushing exhaustion many are currently feeling? Is it enough to recognize the heartbreak that arises when we see once-free people deprived of their liberties? Is it enough to call out the terror that makes itself known as we bear witness to the implosion of the American empire through the ongoing bombardment of chaotic and illogical “executive orders?” Is it enough to point out the abject failure of the courts to hold a certain administration accountable to actions that directly defy the constitution?

I’m so tired. Soooooo tired. How can I rouse the weary when I’m beyond weary myself? I’m just so sad – sad for those directly in the line of fire, and sad for the death of what was once called “The American Dream.”

This too shall pass? Other nations have experienced and survived their own periods of authoritarianism and tyranny? We too will survive?

But will we?

One thing I know for certain is that we will not be the same. No matter where this experiment in oligarchy goes or how it ends, The United States as a nation will not be the same. At least it better not be. People have already tried to surface candidates for the 2028 election. HELL NO!  While one person seems to be singularly responsible for the carnage we are all now seeing, he is simply a product of the system that put him in office. A system that has been corrupted by money, financial influence, and divisive propaganda. Until the system itself is changed, we will only see more of the same. Billionaires buying votes and decisions made on behalf of those who pad the pockets of our legislators.

While what we are witnessing right now sucks, perhaps it is necessary. How else would we see the depth of brokenness and the extent to which our nation is ruled, not by our elected representatives, but by big money?

As my mom says, “the kitchen has to get dirtier before it can be made clean.”  Perhaps this is what we are seeing – the appliances are finally being pulled away from the wall so that what has been hiding behind and underneath can finally be seen and cleaned away.

God I hope so! 

This brings to mind the experience that broke my last straw. I was working as the dining room manager at a resort in Glacier Park. Our final task, after the resort was closed for the winter, was to deep clean the kitchen. If you’ve ever had to deep clean an industrial kitchen, you know of what I speak. We started at 6am and didn’t end until 6pm (or later). We had to clean, scrub, scour, and polish every nook and cranny of every oven, stove, shelf, food surface, shelves, etc. etc. I was on day 3 or 4 of cleaning and had just cleaned the floor with a literal toothbrush.  I was covered from head to toe in kitchen grease and industrial cleaning products. I looked and smelled like I had just walked through the brimstones of hell. I was tired. I was exhausted. My whole body hurt. The kitchen manager came over to inspect my job and told me I had to do it over.

I cracked. The final straw of my patience shattered. I stood up, looked him in the eye and pointed at the nearest carving knife. “You see that knife? If you say one more fucking word to me, I will stab you in the face.” (Can you hear me actually saying this?????  I shocked myself!)  I was shaking and trembling. His reply, “Lauri, why don’t you go take a break?”  I went out on the back step and bawled my eyes out. 

Now here’s the irony of this tale. For the entire summer, the kitchen manager had it out for me. He was on my ass all summer and rode me ragged. I was certain he hated me – and his actions made me hate him. When I returned to the resort for our winter job at Big Mountain in Whitefish, Montana, he couldn’t wait to be my best friend. WHAT!? Apparently, it took me standing up to him to gain his respect – or he was now so terrified he thought he’d best be nice to me or he might actually get a carving knife in the eye.  (hee hee hee)

Maybe these are my words to rouse the weary.  This is where we are – in the midst of the grossest and most disgusting industrial kitchen deep-clean we have ever seen. For the sake of the future of the nation, we have to do this cleaning – no matter how gross and disgusting it might become – all while being supervised by a bully. Eventually, however, the bully’s actions will hit our last straw, and we will finally gather the energy we need to stand up against the bully and all those who put him in power.

Here’s a recent example of exactly this: Harvard University JUST SAID NO to recent threats of the T-administration and sued him in return. (exactly what I’ve been saying universities and other recently threatened institutions need to do!) Go Harvard! Maybe there is some hope after all.

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Hope in the Perceived Darkness

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

Donald J. Trump has officially been sworn in as the 47th president of the United States. Across social media platforms, the reactions have been either silence or sentiments of despair and hopelessness. I haven’t yet seen celebration, but I’ve definitely seen grief.

As for myself, I have spent too many years and too much time in deep prayer over the role Donald Trump is playing in the unfolding human drama to get upset. Once I got over the initial shock in 2016 of his victory over Hillary Clinton (let’s be honest, Hillary was less than a perfect candidate), I prayed, “Please help me understand the larger purpose at work here.” I’ve shared before what I was given to understand, but I’ll share it again in case you missed it:

Donald Trump is playing the role of the Angel of Death.

Biblically, the Angel of Death arrived at crossroads times to bring liberation to the enslaved by destroying the power of the ruling class. The Angel of Death is perceived as benevolent from the perspective of those being liberated, and malevolent by those who are losing their power.

In the short term, it may appear as if a Trump presidency will deprive some of freedoms they once had while elevating the status of the ruling class, but there is so much more at play here than what is in our immediate sight.

Stepping back……way back…..away from the media propaganda, political rhetoric, and those who benefit from creating (perceived) division….is a 10,000 year old human experiment coming to an end. This experiment began with fear and ended with patriarchal power. This experiment has reached its limits and will result in the extinction of humankind if equilibrium is not restored.

Donald Trump is being called to play a role in the restoration of that equilibrium.  In the short term, and through eyes conditioned by division, we may not like what we see. To see evidence of this restoration we will have to look at things through a new set of eyes.  Some of this evidence we may already see. For some, we will have to look beyond what is right in front of us to a time that we do not yet know.

Hope and Trust are two words that may prove helpful as we navigate this transitory time.

Hope – not in that which is outside of us, in some person of perceived authority and power – but hope in ourselves. A big part of the dying system is the savior complex – the idea or illusion that there is someone outside of us who is going to save us. Instead, we are here to save ourselves. We are the hope we’ve been looking for.

Trust – in a bigger story at play. In the natural unfolding of the universe story. In a higher plan. In God (if that is your thing). But most importantly – Trust in yourself. Trust in the Love that you are. Trust that this Love has the power to not only transform yourself, but also has the power to transform the world.

As the Angel of Death, Donald Trump is helping to facilitate the destruction of all the institutions and systems that have benefitted from the conditioning that has left us feeling powerless. On the other side of this destruction, should we accept the invitation, is a world in which all of humanity is empowered to come forward with our own unique giftedness for the sake of our own fulfillment, and in service to the good of the all. This can only happen, however, if we have hope and trust in ourselves and believe in the power of Love.

By dividing we have been conquered.

By uniting we will be set free.

Mary Magdalene’s Message to Humanity

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

An Eternal Easter Message

Mary Magdalene speaks to all of humanity about the current state of our consciousness revolution.  We are at a time of swift endings and great new beginnings.  We are observing the crucifixion and death of all that has been built on fear, power and control, as we are ushering in the second coming of humanity – the birth of the age of love and a joining together in unity consciousness.  She invites us all to step forth out of the tombs we have created for ourselves which have been made of our hesitation and fear and into the love we were meant to be.

My dear sisters and brothers,

Thank you for joining with me in celebration of Resurrection.  Two thousand years ago, I stood at the entrance of the tomb into which we had laid my Beloved, Yeshua and beheld the miracle and the truth of resurrection.  Whether you believe in the literal truth of Yeshua dying and rising from the dead, or prefer to think of it more as a mystical or metaphorical event, it matters not.  Yeshua proved to all that fear (death) has no power over the original nature of the human soul which is LOVE. Yeshua showed us, through his own example that the path to resurrection (freedom and love) was in conquering death (fear).

Yeshua was a normal man who discovered the keys to transcending the inherent suffering of the human experience – how to move beyond the fear, perceived separation, false perceptions and ego attachments that are the cause of human suffering and toward the peace, love and joy that are our original nature.  In this state of peace, we are whole and we know that we are One – within ourselves, with our Divine Source, with each other and with all of creation.  This is the truth that Yeshua promised would set us free.  The resurrection was proof that what Yeshua taught was true.  He then ordained me, Mary, given the title Magdalene, to share the message of the resurrection with the other disciples and with all who would listen.

Today, we commemorate the proof of LOVE – that fear/death has no power over the LOVE which made us and which is our true origin as unique expressions of our Mother/Father God.  We are the Divine seeking its expression in the world.  As such, we were meant, not to live in separation, but as ONE HUMAN RACE working toward the goal of love for the common good of the all.  When we come to know this sense of Oneness within ourselves, all separation falls away – we are no longer separated by gender, race, nation, religion, politics, sexual orientation, or by any of the infinite number of ways in which human beings, living in fear, create separation between ourselves and our fellow human beings.  We are one species, one world, one universe.  When we know this truth, we work for no other purpose except for peace and harmony between, not only all human beings, but all of creation.  We live as ONE, partaking of the great abundance of this Mother Earth, working to ensure that the needs of all are met – not just the needs of a powerful (fearful) few. 

This is the time we have all been waiting for.  It is here.  Now.  Our children have spoken and that which has been built on fear, power and control is in the midst of its own self-destruction.  Very soon (in this moment), Love will reign. This is the Second Coming Yeshua promised – not that which has been spoken of by those who have misunderstood Yeshua’s words.  Yeshua will not descend upon us in a fiery cloud.  Instead, the Second Coming is when the Christ (the Divine spark of Love that has lain dormant in humanity since the moment we chose separation over love), is awakened and born in each and every one of us.  You might call this heralded time Ascension, Enlightenment, Nirvana, the Death of the Kali Yuga, the Kingdom of God, the New Age, the Age of Aquarius.  The name matters not.  What matters is that you/we are all awakening to the Unconditional Love that we are and that we were born to know in the midst of the human experience.  It is here.  It is now.

As this is the Second Coming of the Christ, it is also the Second Coming of the Magdalene, for I am the Christ.  Unlike my Beloved who ascended to the plane of Divine Oneness, I have remained with you my sisters and brothers.  Present with you throughout these millennia, hidden away in the secret, mystical, contemplative, shamanic, esoteric, magical traditions of the West and in the East. Speaking and whispering into the hearts of the mystics.  Reaching into the consciousness of your prophets, activists and holy people.  I am the voice of Wisdom.  I am the Sophia.  I am the Great and Dark Mother, awakening you out of your complacency and into the Light.  I am compelling you to seek love, to demand peace, to work for justice.  I have been with you, silently guiding you through the truth that dwells deep in your heart – the place where you know what is right and good and merciful for the all.   I have never left you, but have remained until what Yeshua envisioned came to pass.    The time has come.  The time is now.  This is what we celebrate on this Resurrection Day…not the rising of Yeshua from the death….but YOUR rising from the dead!  Awake my sisters and brothers.  Come forth out of your tombs.  Accept your calling to be vessels of the Divine, turning our world from fear into love.

Amen!  Amen!  Alleluia!

Love,

Mary, called Magdalene

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