The Year of Letting Go

December 29, 2023 / Lauri Ann Lumby / 1 Comment

As we approach the gateway between 2023 and the new year, I can’t help but reflect. Looking back on 2023, it seems that for me, this was a year of letting go. These are the things I released in 2023:

A few more toxic relationships.
Begging, wishing, and pleading for other peoples’ time and attention.
The idea that my mission or purpose are anything other than simply being myself – what ever and no matter what I’m doing.
The belief that what I do in the world defines me or that I am defined by my work.
The hope that my work in the world would garner attention, notoriety, fame, or wealth.
The wish for a love outside of myself. If I can’t love myself, then there is nothing outside of me that will make me feel loved.
Goal setting: What’s the point of setting goals when the universe is in charge anyway!?
The last remnants of the illusion that I am in any way, shape, or form, the master or creator of my destiny.
Time spent giving my attention (and money) to any outside perceived authorities. If I cannot discern my own truth, or face life as it comes to me, I am doomed!
The desire to convince anyone of anything ever.
Giving a shit about anything that human beings do to themselves. Go ahead, be the source of your own extinction – I can no longer care because caring puts me into the trap of thinking I can change it. Humans have been destroying themselves for 10,000 years. My little self is not going to change that. Accepting human beings as their self-destructive selves and getting the fuck out of their way, gives me peace.
Wishing for change. All we have is THIS PRESENT MOMENT. Be at peace with that!
Taking responsibility for other people’s shit or the solving of that shit. Sure, I’m happy to share some tools with you – but YOU HAVE TO USE THEM! Also, my prayers are not going to enact some sort of miracle or divine intervention for a situation you chose yourself, or is part of the plan for your life. Stop giving me that much power along with the weight of your expectations. Instead – DO SOMETHING to change or heal yourself!
Believing that I am an asshole for setting boundaries. I’ve learned that the more we (especially as women) stand up for ourselves, our safety, and our needs, the more the world hates us. Go ahead, hate me…..I DO NOT CARE!
The idea that I have anything to teach anyone or that I, in fact, know a single damn thing. In the vast mystery of the universe, how can I know anything? (though if you state something about Mary Magdalene as fact without supporting scholarly evidence, I will call you out – because I’m that asshole.)
Finally, years ago I gave up new year’s resolutions and for these many years I’ve maintained that letting go. What I will do is continue being a broken, flawed, fragile, vulnerable, wounded, sometimes angry and self-righteous, presence of love in the world.

How about you?

Staring into the Face of the Unknown

December 22, 2021 / Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Good Lord this has been a year! For those with whom I am in close contact, including myself, 2021 has been the year of letting go, letting go, and then letting go some more. I can’t speak for others, but at this point, I’m not sure there’s anything left for me to let go.

Let me confirm that letting go does NOT bring on a sensation of peace. Instead, we are left with a great sense of unease. As we stare into what has become an empty vessel, we are struck with three things:

Grief over what has passed away.
An anxious desire to fill in those empty spaces.
Sheer terror over the possibility that the emptiness might be the end of all things (or in my case that everything I have done has been for naught and that I will have to go out and find a “real job.” UGH!).

To grieve is appropriate. As we gaze over what has passed out of our lives and what we have intentionally released, sorrow will come. As will every other face of grief. Bargaining most of all as we reach for those things we’ve released, hoping to find security in returning them to the now empty vessel. What we have let go of, however, cannot return. Instead, we are invited to be present to the sorrow, secure in the hope that something new will come to take its place.

Anxiety is also appropriate. What was known provided a sense of security and surety in our lives. If nothing else, it provided the illusion of security simply because it was known. As we release what is no longer life-giving, or it is torn from our clutching fingers, our first instinct is to call it back. When it cannot be called back, our second instinct is to find something to replace it – even if that something is of our own contriving and may have nothing to do with our highest good. We just want to fill the empty space. The answer to this anxiety is simple: DON’T DO IT! Instead, become comfortable with the anxiety. UGH!

Emptiness is a kind of death. What we have known has come to an end and the new has not yet come into form. Despite our attempts at seeking out or even forcing the new, the new will only arrive in the hands of Divine Timing. Terror comes when we are faced with this level of unknown. With this there is literally nothing we can do but stare into the face of the unknown and FEEL its terror.

This is where we find ourselves at the end of 2021 – staring in terror into the face of the unknown. It’s ok to feel anxiety and fear. Allowing ourselves to be with this terror is good medicine. The more we allow ourselves to be with the terror of the unknown and sit in its company, the more we discover there’s really nothing to fear. The purpose of terror is to remind us of the illusion of control – likely the final thing we cling to. When we let go of our need to control and the illusion that we ever had any in the first place, then, only then, will we find peace.

Lauri Ann Lumby is currently scheduling mentoring sessions starting the second week of January. Email lauri@lauriannlumby.com to schedule your session today.

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Getting Out of the Way

November 24, 2021 / Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

I have recently become aware of an interesting phenomenon. Those with whom I am close and who I consider my spiritual family are finding themselves sequestering. Either by choice, circumstance, or because it is being forced upon them by the universe, they are finding themselves with a nearly or completely clear calendar from now through the end of the year. I too am finding myself in this place.

For a long while, I’ve been hearing the universal call to let go, clear our plates, eliminate the unnecessary, discard that which is no longer life giving to clear the way for something new to take its place. Recently I read another reminder to deepen/accelerate that clearing. In my own life, I have literally nothing more to clear. But then the Universe decided to explain to me the full extent of this clearing. With nothing material remaining to clear, all that remained was TIME.

Time….time…time….see what’s become of me……

Since I refused to hear this message on my own, the Universe did what the Universe does – it forced it upon me. Struck down by the events of our world (read more about being an empath below), I found myself FLATTENED. First I writhed in frustration. Then I convulsed in pain. Finally I surrendered. I cancelled my appointments. I took time to rest (I’m still resting). And then when I looked at my calendar…..I GOT IT. It is time to:

GET OUT OF THE WAY!

Sometimes after we have done everything we can do to be a source of Love and Support in our world through our own unique gifts, and the world continues to writhe in pain, we need to simply get out of the way and let the Universe take over. Remember – WE ARE NOT IN CHARGE. As we allow ourselves to step aside, the Universe steps in and does what it needs to do – in this case, to (hopefully) hasten the dying while creating a place for our gifts to once again be of use. In the meantime, we wait, we care for ourselves and our loved ones, we rest, we breathe, we pray. And maybe, just maybe, we find that we finally have time and space to dance!

Have a Blessed Holiday Weekend!