Impeccability

In a world filled with false prophets, impostors, self-appointed gurus, charlatans, snake-oil salespeople, and millionaire pastors, it is imperative that we become ever-more vigilant with our own impeccability. Millions of people are starving for guidance and direction, answers to life’s unanswerable questions, and comfort from the terrors of this world. There are equally many who are happy to provide people with what they want. Many of these are of integrity, educated and trained in what they provide, responsible and careful in that provision, and accountable to the established ethics of their field. Some are not.

Impeccability is about more than just our word. It is about what we say, how we say it, what we mean by it, the authority behind it, our education and training, to whom we are accountable, and on what we base our word. Let me provide an example from the world of the Magdalene.

Since the early 90’s, literally hundreds of so-called authorities on The Magdalene have made themselves known. Some are academic scholars providing the findings of research that has been examined under the rigors of peer-review. Some are historians who have embarked on a treasure hunt seeking out clues to the Magdalene legends as they were handed down through folklore, art, cultural traditions, and monuments created in her name. Some are the holders of oral traditions that have been handed down for thousands of years. Some receive their knowledge through dreams, visions, intuitive guidance, and their creative imaginations. Others are just making shit up.

The Magdalene field has become as vast as it is deep. There is something in this field for everyone. Something for those simply seeking entertainment. Something for the scholars and academics. Something for the new age community. Something for the witches and goddess worshippers. Something for those looking for an outside perceived authority to tell them what is true and what to believe. Something for those who simply want someone to blow smoke up their ass, telling them what they want to hear. There is now a Magdalene for everyone. This does NOT mean that every Magdalene is authentic or true. As I posted on Facebook the other day:

Someone, apparently didn’t like what I posted, thinking I was throwing shade. Well….maybe I was throwing a little shade….but here’s my come-from as it relates to the Magdalene and by association, impeccability:

In my Magdalene work, for example, I do my best to be clear. “This is based on scholarship….this is a work of fiction…this came through my intuition/creative imagination…I completely made this up but I would love for it to be true.” I’m also careful to identify my resources, remaining as close to authentic scholarship where possible and explaining where these resources reside in the spectrum of verifiable fact, theory, or simply oral tradition or legend. I’m admittedly a stickler for scholarship that is soundly rooted in the scientific method.

When we are clear about our come-from, then people know how to take the resources, guidance, and support we provide for them and apply them (or not) in their lives. This is true whether it be about the Magdalene, spiritual direction, counseling, healing, or just giving advice as it relates to our mutual fields of expertise. I believe this is especially important, critical even, when we present ourselves as teachers, guides, or healers for others.

We must be impeccable about what we are offering and how it is to be used and received. If we aren’t doing this, people could actually be harmed. As I said before, there are millions of vulnerable people looking for comfort and guidance and our job is not to enable them or take advantage of their vulnerability.  Our job is to empower them.  We can’t do this if we aren’t impeccable with our words, our motivations, our source of knowledge, and our actions.

Join Me Beside the Hearth

For over twenty-five years I have been a source of support for individuals through the most vulnerable and tender parts of their human journeys. I have counselled people through the unexpected death of a child. I have supported couples facing the “dark night” of their marriage. I have been a welcome guide and mentor in the human journey of spiritual growth and development. I have provided healing for those experiencing mental, emotional, and spiritual pain. I have been a source of support through midlife crises, divorce, job loss, empty nest, and other deeply transformational times of transition.

Whether working with me over the phone, via ZOOM, or in my home, you will find a warm and welcoming place here where you can step away from the chaos and unrest of the outside world and be supported in returning to your heart – for it is there you will find rest, peace, and the answers to life’s questions. My hearth-fire is always burning. You will find comfort and safety here.

With love,

Lauri

Email lauri@lauriannlumby.com to schedule a one-on-one session with me! We can meet via ZOOM, over the phone, or in my home if you are local. My suggested fee is $165.00 per session and I offer a sliding scale for those for whom $165.00 would be a reach. Don’t hesitate to reach out!

What is Spiritual Counseling?

  • Who am I? 
  • How do I connect with and comprehend the presence and action of the Divine in my life? 
  • What are my gifts and how am I being called to engage in them for the sake of my own fulfillment and share them for the sake of the betterment of our world? 

These are the questions that find their answers through the sacred ministry of Spiritual Counseling/Spiritual Direction – perhaps the most ancient form of life coaching.  Since the advent of human consciousness, we have sought the answers to our life questions, often through the elders and “holy people” of our respective spiritual traditions.  The Guru’s of India, the Rabbi’s of Judaism, the monks of Buddhism, the Shaman of indigenous tribes, and the men and women religious of Christianity represent merely the tip of the iceberg of those that have served as companion and guide on our spiritual journeys.  These “wisdom teachers” have served as witness to the truths that we already know, holding up the mirror for us to see what we are perhaps unable or unwilling to see for ourselves.   This style of Spiritual Counseling often required years upon years of training and required the seeker to travel great distances to obtain the answers to the questions of their heart.

Another form of Spiritual Counseling is that which comes through what the Irish would call “Anam Cara” – soul friend.  A soul friend is an intimate and trusted friend who is able to journey with us from a place of truth, acceptance and courageous honesty.  These are the intimate friendships that provide a vessel in which we can be our truest selves and, in the process, discover our deeper truths.  In the Anam Cara relationship, we are able to help each other name our respective “demons” and work together to find the tools to give them release.  Sometimes, the role of Anam Cara is to simply be with each other in our grief, sorrow, struggles and fears.  The role of Anam Cara requires no training or previous experience.  It simply asks us to be present and to hold each other in love.

The third form of Spiritual Counseling/Spiritual Direction, and the form that I practice professionally, lands somewhere between Anam Cara and Wisdom Teacher.  In this form of Spiritual Counseling, my role is to journey with my clients as they seek the answers to the deepest questions of their heart.  Clients are empowered to discover their truth and to find the tools through which they are able to openly give their truth its expression.  As such, Spiritual Counseling becomes a journey of discovery and a vehicle for healing; for it is often our inner wounds that prevent us from hearing and giving voice to the truths that are locked deep inside of us. 

That which is brought to Spiritual Counseling encompasses the vast and varied territories of our everyday existence – relationships, jobs, passions and hobbies, parenting, life transitions, losses and grieving, our physical wellness (or lack thereof), our emotional wellbeing, and last but not least, our spiritual journeys. 

Spiritual Counseling can look a lot like traditional talk-therapy, and there are two primary differences.  In talk therapy, the goal is often behavior modification.  Spiritual Counseling goes beyond behavior modification to discover the deeper spiritual wound that created the unhealthy behavior in the first place.  Once this wound is uncovered, Spiritual Counseling offers effective tools through which this wound can now be healed.  The tools through which these wounds are healed are intimately connected with our relationship to our Divine Source.  This connection with the God of our understanding is the other factor that sets Spiritual Counseling apart.  This relationship with God becomes the ground upon which authentic healing work can now be accomplished.  As such, it is often in discovering and cultivating this relationship where the work of Spiritual Counseling begins.  

Having participated in both sides of the Spiritual Counseling relationship, I can attest to the power of this form of life coaching.  Thanks to my own Spiritual Counselor, I have gained access to the deepest truths of my being, while finding release from the fears that have prevented me from sharing these truths in the world.  In my own role of Spiritual Counselor, I have witnessed healing, transformation and emerging truth for the clients with whom I have had the privilege to companion.  Those who have been honest and diligent in the process have found the answers to the questions of their heart and have been empowered to freely and openly live their truth in the world. 

In the end, the goal of Spiritual Counseling may be summarized by this quote from one of my favorite wisdom teachers: “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free!” (John 8: 32)


Spiritual Counseling with Lauri Ann Lumby includes:

  • Personality, Temperament, and Gifts Assessments.
  • Exploration of the Soul’s calling.
  • Uncovering and transforming the obstacles to living out that calling through a variety of mindfulness, creativity, and shamanic practices including Lauri’s trademarked Authentic Freedom™ protocol.
  • Depth work – identifying ungrieved losses, unhealed wounds, past traumas, ancestral trauma, and learning shamanic practices for transforming and releasing them.
  • Shadow work – uncovering the unintegrated and often rejected parts of self and bringing them into wholeness.
  • Ongoing support.

Devils and Doorways


This morning in my meditation, I pulled the “Devil” card.  While some might cringe at the sight of the “devil,” this is actually one of my favorite cards (second only to Death), as it represents EMERGENCE. Specifically, emergence out of and from a time of difficulty, struggle, challenge, and yes, temptation. The Devil card represents the successful completion of a particular stage of initiation.  The Devil literally depicts the exiting through the narrow gate – as St. Margaret here is doing after vanquishing her own inner fears, obstacles, and hindrances to her Soul’s emergence. From this perspective, the Devil is not the enemy, but is instead the friend that provides the resistance we need to grow and to reach our Soul’s maturity. Hurray!  (thank you sir, may I have another?!)

The Devil’s emergence is not only for me, it is for all here who have been doing this deep work – tending to the voice of the Soul, moving through inner and outer obstacles to the Soul’s fulfillment, and doing it in the face of certain resistance from the material world, the expectations of others, and our own “status quo.”  Reports from this community are providing direct examples of our efforts making a difference, not only for ourselves, but for the world at large.  Examples from the world at large are perhaps the easiest to see as they are sooooooooo loud in their resistance! 

The empire (the world based in fear, power, oppression, and control) is collapsing and those who have benefitted from the (now) dying world, are crying out in terror.  The way I’m most frequently hearing it described is this:

People are losing their shit!

Those who are deeply mired in the status quo, who have benefitted from a system that privileges them and remain imprisoned by the toxic conditioning that has separated them from their own truth are losing their shit. These are the ones that have no idea what to do with the anxiety that arises in the face of a system that is destroying itself, so instead of acknowledging the anxiety and doing something about it, the anxiety comes out in disproportionate actions and behaviors – fear coming out sideways. Grasping for control. Making ridiculous requests. Having tempter tantrums. Acting like children. 

A New World is Being Born and Those Clinging to the Old are Freaking Out! 

It’s a normal reaction to change, albeit an unhealthy one. I take these increasing, and growing louder examples as signs of positive change and a growing collective that is by our actions, and intentions, hastening the death of the old while giving birth to the new. The empire is facing its own “Devil’s journey” and we get to be on the other side watching it and cheering them on. Hopefully with love!  


Need Help With Your “Devils?”

Lauri Ann Lumby, MATP, Has over twenty-five years of experience as a soul-tender, educator and guide. She has supported hundreds through her one-on-one guidance, books, workshops, retreats, over thirty online courses, and online community.

Email lauri@lauriannlumby.com to schedule a one-on-one session today!



Inside the Bone Cave

The Bone Cave

At the mouth of the bone cave

I stood and wondered:

Is it here I’m doomed to remain?

Sitting on chicken feet.

Surrounded by the bones of my past.

Amid the haunting howls of soul’s suffering

and the impatient clacking of their stories wanting to be heard.

Their want is deafening:

See me.

Hear me.

Understand me.

Care for me.

How much more can I care for bones already dead?

Yet their wailing persists.

What more do they need?

What more can I give when I have nothing left to give?

Maybe if I just sit here

and try not to move

their clattering will be still.

There is peace in surrendering to the dying.

copyright Lauri Ann Lumby


Support for your dying times

Lauri Ann Lumby, MATP, provides one-on-one mentoring and support for people at all stages of their human development, most especially during times of transition – when we are dying to one way of being and waiting to be born into another. If you are facing a dying time and would like to work with Lauri, email lauri@lauriannlumby.com.

Falling in Love with Ourselves

The Soul journey is ultimately about remembering WE ARE LOVE. We were created by Love, for Love, for the purpose of Love. In order to live that Love, however, we first have to heal the places within us where we have forgotten we were Love, or told we weren’t Love, loved, or lovable; or that love had to be earned. Remembering Love is a life-long journey, and each step brings us closer and closer to the FREEDOM we were meant to enjoy in the human experience.

Loving Myself

In becoming my Wild Divine

I have finally fallen in love with

Myself.

No more apologies or explanations.

I am the Wild Divine

Having left behind

Guilt

Shame

and encultured shoulds.

Walking my own path.

Living my own truth.

Uncompromisingly dedicated to ME.

I Am the Wild Divine.

Luscious in my fullness.

Softened by time.

Freed of rigid angles

The sharp edges of resentment’s scorn made soft.

Living beyond the fray.

Thriving outside the norm.

The world’s never seen a woman like me before.


Soul Tending with Lauri

Lauri Ann Lumby has over twenty-five years of experience as a soul-tender, educator and guide. She has supported hundreds through her one-on-one guidance, books, workshops, retreats, over thirty online courses, and online community.

Now Accepting Applications

The Eternal Flame Program is offered once every thirteen months and is accomplished within a cohort model with a limited number of accepted participants (application required).

Our next program will begin October 1, 2022.

The Eternal Flame Package is our most comprehensive offering, providing more support and guidance than you will receive through individual sessions or courses alone.

Upon acceptance you will embark on a thirteen-month journey, where you will be guided through the labyrinth of soul-discovery, transformation, and empowerment, using Lauri’s tried and tested model for the fulfillment of the soul. 

Monthly educational, self-discovery, and Soul-practice assignments.

13 one-on-one sessions with Lauri Ann Lumby scheduled monthly.

Monthly cohort ZOOM gatherings.

Cohort participation and discussion.

Limited to 13 participants per annual term.

Training includes, but is not limited to:

  • Personality, Temperament, and Gifts Assessments.
  • Exploration of the Soul’s calling.
  • Uncovering and transforming the obstacles to living out that calling through a variety of mindfulness, creativity, and shamanic practices including Lauri’s trademarked Authentic Freedom™ protocol.
  • Depth work – identifying ungrieved losses, unhealed wounds, past traumas, ancestral trauma, and learning shamanic practices for transforming and releasing them.
  • Shadow work – uncovering the unintegrated and often rejected parts of self and bringing them into wholeness.
  • Ongoing support.

Longing to Be Seen

Some have suggested that one of the greatest longings of the human soul is to be seen – to be really and truly seen for who we are.

As one who has the ability to see, I have found the opposite to be true.  Many (if not most) humans don’t really want to be seen because either a) they hate who they are, or b) they have something to hide. These are the folks who either run from my gaze or turn the shame of being seen back at me by making me their enemy.  I become sad when people do this because while I can see deception, I also see potential.  I see who people are as their most authentic selves if they would only allow themselves to be that.  My purpose is only to support people in becoming their most authentic selves. Sadly, some simply don’t want this – as much as they might argue otherwise.

art by Catherine E. Case used with permission

Those who are comfortable enough with themselves such that they don’t mind being seen; or who have been chomping at the bit to be seen for who they truly are so they might be that more fully, are those who thrive in my presence. I see them and encourage them in their gifts while supporting them in identifying and healing those things that are preventing them from living those gifts more fully. When the going gets rough (which it will – all work of true transformation does) I am there simultaneously holding their feet to the fire while soothing the anxiety and terror that comes when we are allowing ourselves to break free of the chrysalis that formerly imprisoned us.

As the poet Rilke said:

My looking ripens things

and they come toward me, to meet, and be met.

(Book of Hours, I, 1)

Longing to be seen may indeed be one of our greatest desires, but few have the courage to truly be seen, and even fewer have the endurance to allow the seeing to ripen into being. 


Lauri Ann Lumby

Lauri’s gifts as a mentor are centered in her ability to see. She sees your truth along with what might be hindering your ability to live that truth fully. By seeing clearly, Lauri can help guide you through the process of identifying, healing and transforming the wounds, fears, traumas and conditioning that keep you from living a life in which your purpose is fully embodied and your mission fulfilled.

Lauri provides this mentoring one-on-one and through her classes and training programs.

Healing the Father Wound

No matter how perfect and loving our parents might have been, no matter how well they provided for our well-being and supported us in our dreams, each one of us will experience woundedness from our parents. This woundedness may be no direct fault of their own, but simply comes forth because of what they were shown by their parents, the culture in which they were conditioned, what remains unhealed within them, and/or simply because they are human.

As we are human, so too are our parents. There is no shame in that. And yet, for many, the parental wounds become a significant obstacle to both their inner and outer freedom, as well as their ability to enter into healthy relationships and enact their own parenting. Unhealed parental wounds become stumbling blocks to our ability to become happy, healthy, and content in our lives and to find that which will provide meaning and purpose in our lives.

While reflecting specifically on the Father wound, I was provided with the following image of what the Father wound looks like (to me anyway):

Photo by Anni Roenkae on Pexels.com

As you gaze upon this image, what comes forward as your image of the Father wound? 

For each individual, the Father wound will have its own color, size, shape, etc.  It will also have its own unique make up.  Of what is your Father wound made?

  • Fear?
  • Rejection?
  • Condemnation?
  • Criticism?
  • Expectations?
  • Avoidance?
  • Abandonment?
  • Cruelty?
  • Rage?
  • Co-Dependency (the need to seek his approval)?
  • Impatience?
  • Frustration?
  • Inaccessibility?
  • Disappointment?
  • Threats of violence?
  • Violence?
  • Abuse?
  • Jealousy?
  • Molestation?
  • Inappropriate or lack of boundaries?
  • Feeling unsafe?

Every individual carries their own unique experience of the Father wound which might be related to one, several, or all of the above. The first step in healing the Father wound is identifying of what that wound is made.

The second step is to enter into a transformational practice for healing and releasing that wound. Two practices I have found to be especially helpful in transforming parental wounds are Tonglen and the Ho’oponopono prayer.

Tonglen

is a Tibetan Buddhist mindfulness practice founded on the understanding that in order to heal our wounds, we need to move toward them.  Instead of resisting, ignoring, or running away from our wounds, we allow ourselves to feel them.  In allowing the feeling, we can transform the wound and release it from our bodies and our consciousness. 

To heal the Father wound using Tonglen:

  1. Identify the wound along with its feeling (what does rejection feel like?).
  2. Allow yourself to feel the wound.
  3. Identify where in your body you are feeling it. 
  4. While feeling the wound, breathe into the place in your body where you are feeling it.
  5. Breathe out love.  Give a visual image to that love if you find that helpful (bubbles, flowers, hearts).
  6. Breathe into the wound while feeling it.
  7. Breathe out love.
  8. Continue with the breathing into the wound and breathing out love until you feel a shift.  Perhaps you are feeling more peaceful, or the practice brings forth tears.
  9. After the shift, you have completed the practice.
  10. Return to the practice when you feel that wound triggered again, or set aside a daily practice to continue healing that experience of the Father wound.

Ho’oponopono

Ho’oponopono is a traditional Hawaiian prayer/ritual which is used to heal wounds within us that we may have experienced at another’s hand. The practice is simple and yet profoundly powerful. I have witnessed true miracles in the use of this practice.

  1. Identify the wound.
  2. Give it an image,
  3. Become aware of where this wound is held in your body (where do you feel abandonment?)
  4. Repeat the Ho’oponopono formula over and over and over to the place in your body where you feel that wound. 
  5. This is the formula:

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

I love you.

Thank you.

The key to Ho’oponopono is that you are saying the formula TO YOURSELF not to the one who caused the wound.  You say it to yourself, and to the part of you that experienced the wound.

Both Tonglen and Ho’oponopono are powerful tools for healing our parental wounds. Admittedly, these practices may not be enough for many to fully heal from these wounds.  It is for this reason that I also encourage additional support through a trained spiritual director (which I am) and/or a professional therapist, or better yet, a combination of the two.  If you are finding yourself hindered by a parental wound, and are seeking for additional support, please see my information below.


Lauri provides sessions locally in Oshkosh, Wisconsin and remotely via ZOOM.

Lauri Ann Lumby, OM, OPM, OSF, MATS

is a trained Spiritual Director with a master’s degree in Transpersonal Psychology. She integrates sound psychological knowledge with proven spiritual and transformational practices to support you in being free of that which might otherwise hinder your longing for peace, contentment, meaning and fulfillment in your life.

To learn more or schedule an appointment, email lauri@lauriannlumby.com.

Being Your Own Sanctuary

We live in a world of distractions.  Sooooooo many things vying for our time and attention.  Work. Family. Friends. Money. Possessions. The News. World Events. Social Media. Church. Responsibilities and conditioned obligations pulling at us and our heartstrings.

With every new distraction, responsibility, and perceived obligation, our anxiety rises, and our worries increase. Our energies, it seems, getting pulled in every direction except in the direction of that which gives us peace.

With so many distractions, do we even know what gives us peace?

Likely not. And yet, while the distractions are vying for our attention, our truest and deepest yearning is whispering from within the center of our being.  It is the yearning for peace.

Peace is our natural and original state.

Peace is not what the world wants us to know. The world in which we are currently living wants our anxiety and our stress.  It wants us to feel anxious and afraid. It wants us to be deprived of our peace so that we remained imprisoned by the fears that keep us working for that world. It further keeps us imprisoned with its false promises of wealth, status, fame, and success as that world has defined it. We have become the prisoners of and slaves to that world and we are imprisoned further by the time and attention we give to the distractions, perceived responsibilities, and conditioned obligations of that world. 

“Should” is one of the fiercest weapons used by that world.

We should work hard to make money. We should spend time with family. We should want a bigger house, nicer car, designer clothes, etc. We should “dress for success.” We should look professional. We should be nice. We should go to church. We should attend that event. We should be networking. We should put up with workplace abuse.  We should respect our elders. We should give our authority away. We should….we should…..we should……

It’s exhausting. And completely unnecessary. Our original nature is peace, and we were meant to experience that peace in our lived human experience. Yes, there are the natural constrictions that provide opportunities for learning and growth in our lives, but we were not meant to live in total and complete unrest, every minute of every day. Neither were we made to relentlessly seek outside of us for that which we cannot name – namely the peace and joy for which our hearts yearn.

The peace we are seeking cannot be found outside of us. It can only be found within.

We are the peace we are seeking. That peace dwells within us.  That peace is infinite and ever-present.  We just need to pull our attention away from the distractions long enough to discover that what we have been seeking, has been within us all along.  In discovering and nurturing that peace, we become the sanctuary promised by the ancients.  We discover that we are enlightenment. We are the promised land. We are the peaceable kingdom. We are the kingdom of God. We are nirvana. We are Presence. We are peace.

Who are you choosing to be?  Stress and anxiety or Peace?


Lauri Ann Lumby

Provides resources and tools to assist you in finding and anchoring the peace that you seek and in becoming your own sanctuary. She does this through one-on-one mentoring, Reiki, online courses, her writings and books.