personal growth

No. I Can’t Help You

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Confession:  I’m a fixer. Part of being a fixer is a gift. The other part is a defense mechanism and a curse.

The gift part of being a fixer is the ability to see what could be improved in an environment so that it might more successfully thrive. It is also the ability to see what could cause a situation, environment, relationship, etc. to fail and to offer course-corrections that would help to prevent that failure. This improvement-oriented gift has been further developed in me through years of education and experience in a wide range of professional fields. Those who have sought me out for these gifts and applied my guidance have benefitted greatly. I have benefitted by applying these gifts to myself.

The fixer defense mechanism, on the other hand, rises up in me when I feel unsafe in an environment thereby triggering my own survival instinct to seek out ways to restore my feelings of safety. With the energy of hyper-vigilance, I seek out the “wrong” in the environment and then I attempt to fix that wrong. These efforts almost always blow up in my face.

The challenge of being a fixer is that there is no clear line between gift and defense mechanism. Often, these bleed into each other, usually resulting in catastrophe – if not for “the other” then most definitely for me. As a fixer, it is sheer torture watching institutions, individuals, humanity, making the same mistakes over and over and over while refusing to apply the actions that could help them.  Many don’t really want to be helped. Even when they ask for help, they may not really want that help. Most often, they are unwilling to take the necessary actions that would help them.

In the past several years, my “fixer” tendencies have come up for review. Where and how are they helpful? When are they problematic? The answer is complicated, but to put it simply:

  1. When someone invites my professional support and guidance, offer it, but with no attachment to outcome. They may apply it.  They might not.
  2. Identify those who continually ask for support but who really don’t apply it and learn how to disengage. It’s ok to say, “No, I cannot help you.”
  3. If they haven’t asked for my professional support, KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT.

The reality is that there are three kinds of people:

  1. those who want help and will do the work to help themselves,
  2. those who say they want help but really don’t,
  3. and those who definitely do not want help.

For my own mental and emotional wellbeing, I have had to learn (and relearn, and learn again) how to tell the difference while also caring for myself when overcome by the frustration and grief that surfaces when witnessing humans walk the path of their own destruction.

(PS: Being a fixer is also a form of co-dependency. Alanon, ACA, and AA principles have proven helpful in healing myself of this pattern. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change….”)

Helping You Help Yourself!

Soul School with Lauri Ann Lumby provides the basics of self-discovery and personal development. Rooted in embodied educational practices, mindfulness, and creativity, you will be supported in discovering your unique giftedness, healing the obstacles to living out those gifts for the sake of your own fulfillment, and empowered to enjoy a life of authentic freedom.

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Believe in the Darkness

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 1 Comment

Believe in the darkness

and the spaces in between

for these are your teachers –

where you are forced to face your demons

and stare down the face of emptiness.

It is here, in the void, where all wisdom lies.

Where your sharpened edges are made smooth

by sitting with your discomfort

and sense of unease.

As life grows darker you must become small.

Contracting all you are –

your hopes

and dreams

and childhood wishes –

until you disappear into the no-thing,

until you become one with the no-thing.

until you become the no-thing itself.

It is here in the greatest stage of contraction

when all becomes invisible –

indistinguishable from the darkness

and emptiness of the void

where you shall glimpse the infinite potential

that resides at the center of nothing

and feel the rising pressure of a new world waiting to be born.

Believe in the darkness.

copyright Lauri Ann Lumby

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A Knock at the Door

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

Walking through the dark wood.
My home.
A fire burning in the hearth.
The forest mystic.

A knock at the door.
An ancient woman.
The Magdalene.
The Horned God.

Chaos and crisis in the outside world.
But here there is shelter, protection, stillness, and peace.
All find comfort here.

The Magdalene and I on a walking journey.
Finding buried bones.
Crawling into the grave atop of those bones,
absorbing them into myself.
Taking back my life.

A raven.
An owl.
My own wolf-dog.
All becoming a part of me.
Calling back my magic.

Returning home to my beloved.
Another knock at the door.
Ancient woman with a golden book
magically written in light.
Words uniquely mine.
They enter into me
and I speak.

The human spiritual journey is ultimately about finding and embodying our true self. Every course provided by Lauri Ann Lumby supports you in this endeavor. Explore all of our courses to see what might be right for you:

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Becoming Sovereign

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

The Kabbalah is a mirror in which is reflected the fiery intelligence that has caused humanity to rise beyond all other species of creatures on the earth – a fiery intelligence that makes us self-aware and empowers us with the capacity of a conscious evolution far beyond our present state.  – Tau Malachi from his book, Gnosis of the Cosmic Christ

6 online lessons

Done at your own pace

With facilitated discussion

Learn more and enroll HERE

Purpose of the Kabbalah

to find answers to these basic questions

  • The destiny of humankind and the purpose of each individual.
  • The nature of the human soul and its connection to the Divine.
  • The nature and attributes of the Divine.
  • The inner meaning of the revealed scriptures.
  • The mysteries and power contained in the Hebrew letters.
  • The mystery of the divine incarnation and the divine plan on earth.

Benefits of engaging with the Kabbalah

  • Provides us with a map of the journey of consciousness evolution.
  • Supports us in understanding the various stages along that path.
  • Guides us in identifying and overcoming the challenges to our Soul’s evolution.
  • Empowers us in becoming sovereign beings – whole and complete within ourselves in our unique giftedness and purpose.

Becoming Sovereign provides an introduction to one of the most ancient and primordial mystical traditions in the world – the Kabbalah.

The Kabbalah, as it is known today, is the tradition of Jewish mysticism which emerged in written form during the middle ages, but whose oral tradition predates the written by hundreds, if not thousands of years. 

The Kabbalah, in its broadest sense is at once a cosmology, a belief system, and a practice. For our purposes here, Becoming Sovereign will introduce the basic tools of the Kabbalah including knowledge of:

  • The Tree of Life
  • The Sefirot (emanations of the Divine)
  • The Divine Name
  • The Hebrew Letters and their spiritual meanings
  • Angels and Archangels
  • The significance of the Holy Bride

The lessons provided here are excerpts of the longer and more in-depth training provided in the Order of Melchizedek Alchemist Training. Becoming Sovereign stands on its own as an introduction course, and can become a source of inspiration for taking your studies farther through the Order of Melchizedek Training. You might also deepen your knowledge and experience of the Kabbalah through our Mary Magdalene and the Path of the Holy Bride online training.

Learn more and enroll HERE

Is the Bible Even Relevant?

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

My short answer to this inquiry is no, and yes. The no is quite simple. The yes a little more complicated.

First the Nos

  • Scripture is no longer relevant (if it ever was) as a tool of manipulation or to exert power or control over another. In fact, in either form, scripture is not only dangerous, but can become a weapon (as we have witnessed throughout history – even recent history) when in the hands of the wrong person(s).
  • Scripture is not a book of science. Neither is it a book of history as we understand that today.
  • The Bible is not a book of civil law.  Neither is it a guide for upholding nor enforcing law.
  • The Bible is not a manual for gender or relationship ideals or norms.  Only the ill-informed would approach it in that way.

There are likely more no’s but we’ll let these suffice for now.

Now For the Yeses

  • Yes, scripture is relevant as a collection of literature gathered over a period of time related to a specific tribe of people with their own beliefs, cultural practices, and history.
  • Yes, scripture is relevant as a collection of literary genres, gathered over centuries from the oral traditions of a specific tribe of people living in a specific geographic location within history.  None of these writings were meant to be taken as literal and include – myth, poetry, songs, reflective pseudo-history (some things actually happened), tribal laws, erotica, liturgy, letters, and apocalyptic writings and gospels (genres unto themselves).
  • Yes, scripture is relevant as a field of scholarship, especially when said-scholarship contains and includes both canonical (those writings that reflected the dogma of an already established institution), and non-canonical (those that did not).
  • Yes, scripture is relevant as a field of study when one considers historical and cultural context, the literary genre in use, the author, and their audience.
  • Yes, scripture is relevant when examining the theological evolution of a specific tribe of people.
  • Yes, scripture is relevant in studying the reflections of a specific group within that tribe who believed they had found their messiah and the way in which this belief informed their relationship with their tribe and how they attempted to make their way beyond their tribe.

Finally, and this yes is my favorite and THE reason why I consult scripture everyday as part of my daily practice, and why I have included scripture as part of many of my training programs:

Once we pierce through the doctrine and the patriarchy’s fear-based presentation of scripture, it becomes a profoundly relevant tool through which we can access our own inner truth, tune into the voice of our own inner authority, find guidance, healing, knowledge, understanding, wisdom and comfort for our daily lives – all of which help us to remember that we are Love.

Overcoming Obstacles with Authentic Freedom transcends centuries of dogma to reveal the powerful and life-changing message at the heart of Jesus’ teachings and the universal truths at the core of every religion. Built upon the compelling integration of Eastern Energy Medicine and the 2000-year-old tradition of Christian, contemplative spiritual practices, this course revels a dynamic and unifying path of spiritual transformation that speaks to people of all traditions and beliefs.

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