A dearly beloved friend recently observed of me:
“You are a formidable and vulnerable teacher.”
I could not disagree with him and I am deeply grateful for his ability to see and articulate my truth. There is something uniquely profound about truly being seen.
Whereas I may present to many/most as a strong, independent, formidable force, my truest self is deeply vulnerable and fragile. I, like most who are truly honest with themselves, have been wounded by this world. It may appear to many, in fact many have said this of me, “You got this.” As a responsible firstborn Capricorn with a conditioned defense mechanism of independence and dogged self-sufficiency, this may be a safe assumption. Except, on many days, I DO NOT GOT THIS, neither do I want to.
At nearly 58 years old, I’m tired of having to gather up my strength, and don my cloak of resilience in order to survive this world and to find my way through the broken glass and twisted brambles of humanity’s folly.
I wasn’t made for this level of violence. Neither was I made to withstand this much light or noise.
None of us were made for this. Yet few are willing to admit it. Instead, we make excuses (or are conditioned to) for all of humanity’s bad behaviors.
There are no excuses for humanity’s cruelty, deception, lack of integrity, greed, abusive behavior, or betrayal. As a student and teacher of human development, I can assuredly say that every single human being (excepting perhaps sociopaths and psychopaths – but even they can pretend) has both the potential and the power to be loving, compassionate, generous, gentle, and kind. In other words, cruelty is a choice. Admittedly, a choice coming forth out of what are likely deeply unhealed wounds, but a choice, nonetheless. When I know (and provide) resources to support humanity in healing their wounds, this choice becomes even more apparent.
So yes, when I see humans being cruel to each other, taking advantage of others for the sake of their own pride or greed, making excuses for or justifying their bad behaviors, stabbing others in the back, robbing or stealing from each other, I am deeply saddened. I also find myself angered because I know that cruelty is a choice and cannot comprehend why anyone would choose it.
Like I have often said, I wasn’t made for this world. The good news is I know I’m not the only one not made for this world. If you are one who regularly chooses kindness, I hope that in sharing my own vulnerability this gives you permission to do the same, and if nothing else, helps you to know you are not alone.
Lauri Ann Lumby 
Dear Lauri Ann,
Thankyou for this beautiful and heartfelt reply. As an 85 year old Capricorn with a quite different set of conditioning but similar understanding, I really relate.
Bless you for what you do and for who you are.
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Thank you Jon! Your words mean so much to me!
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Yes, “cruelty is a choice” and most of what modern humans do is cruel but it is made invisible on a constant continuum so that few people “see” themselves or “think” of themselves as being cruel — read free essay “The 2 Married Pink Elephants In The Historical Room –The Holocaustal Covid-19 Coronavirus Madness: A Sociological Perspective & Historical Assessment Of The Covid “Phenomenon”” at https://www.rolf-hefti.com/covid-19-coronavirus.html
“Separate what you know from what you THINK you know.” — Unknown
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Hi Hannah, this is a very interesting article you share here. There is so much we don’t yet know or understand about Covid 19 and the agendas therein. Thank you for sharing one part of the discussion.
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Your persistent presence is what I admire. You are there, speaking humbly your words of encouragement. The war in Ukraine is the current face of cruelty for me. Especially the events of the last several days threaten to touch off a much wider war which probably will include nuclear weapons. Someone on the national stage needs to step up soon and demand a cessation even if the demand involves a sacrificial aspect as a result of their demand. We are in danger of the war running amuck. Where is this person? Who is this person? I have sensed that Pope Francis might be the one but frankly my hopes are fading. He keeps backing away. Of course the peace,reconciliation and intervention of our Lord Jesus Christ can save us, especially at this Christmas time. WHO WILL MANIFEST IT?
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Hi Dennis, sooooo good to hear from you! Thank you for your steadfast presence and prayers for our world. I too have been concerned about the conflict in Ukraine and how this might unfold for the world. It does seem as if someone of reason does need to step forward. But as you ask, “Who?” I’m not sure the Holy Father has the power to speak anymore. More and more it seems he is imprisoned by the College of Cardinals and the Council of Bishops. I was once hopeful for Pope Francis’ contribution to peace, it seems he has become increasingly silent and and rendered impotent. Very sad.
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