The topic of certainty came up with my daughter the other day as we were sharing news of an acquaintance who had recently joined a certain church. We were both somewhat amazed that a person of intelligence, reason, and critical thinking would enthusiastically embrace a religion that espouses a very narrow interpretation of … well … everything. As my forever wise daughter observed, “Well, trauma will do that.” Indeed.

For me, trauma has had the opposite effect. Instead of seeking after certainty, I run from anything that seems to be promising certainty. Why? Because life has shown me that other than death, absolutely nothing is certain. But then I wonder, is my response due to trauma, or simply the accumulated observations of sixty years?

Some of the life experiences that showed me the falsehood of certainty proved to be traumatic. By and large, however, uncertainty seems to simply be the truth of life. Anyone that would suggest otherwise is either still clinging to an illusion of certainty, or just plain lying.

In life, nothing is certain. We don’t know if we’ll be born, how long we’ll live, from what we will be safe (hunger, disease, poverty, etc.), or when we’ll die. We don’t know where our life path will lead us and we cannot predict, once on a path, if or how we’ll reach its destination – if ever, or if along the way the path might change or simply fall away. Or maybe we reach the hoped-for destination, and it blows up in our face.

Life is funny that way. A whole lot of unknowns with only one truly predictable outcome:

DEATH

No matter how our lives unfold, death is the final destination. It is the only outcome that is certain. The rest is up for grabs. Everyone knows this. And yet……and yet…..everywhere we look there is someone trying to convince us that they have the key to certainty. Religion that claims to be the sole purveyor of truth. Spiritualists who claim to have a monopoly on the afterlife. Gurus who will gladly take your money for the magical blessing that will ensure enlightenment. Healers who claim to own the trademark to what will save you from dying. Physicians who have the remedies to, if not save your life, at least delay your dying. Politicians who make empty promises about a hopeful future. Coaches to shower their athletes with empty dreams of a professional career. Universities who promise an abundance of fulfillment and wealth after completing a course of study. Life-coaches who also claim to hold the keys to fulfilment and wealth. Authors who promise a formula for manifesting what you want, or “calling in the one.”

All of these are pandering to and profiting from humanity’s insecurities and fears – specifically the fear of the unknown – what we might alternatively call “the fear of life itself.”

Life itself is terrifying. It’s unpredictable. Unstable. Often unsafe. We experience suffering and the pain of betrayal. We know the deep grief of loss. We suffer disappointment. We are the witnesses of violence and death.

We know this about life, and yet we persist. The human instinct for survival is STRONG. But so is our tendency toward denial. We don’t like the anxiety and fear that uncertainty brings, so we  look for anything and everything that might promise otherwise. We look for the perfect job, the magic pill, the charismatic teacher, the soulmate, the book, the coach, the healer……or the mountain we are willing to die on, that gives us the promise of certainty and we embrace it enthusiastically, even bringing our friends and family along for the ride. In one way or another we are all guilty of this.  And yet, every single time, that which promises certainty eventually proves itself wrong and we find ourselves staring down the barrel of uncertainty.

This is just part of being human and having a human experience. We are not, however, doomed to this endless cycle of uncertainty, false hope, and disappointment. Instead of seeking after certainty, we can simply accept that life is – uncertain. Once we accept this truth, and learn to be with the anxiety of uncertainty, we can flow through life from a place of contentment and ease. This doesn’t mean we won’t experience anxiety or fear, but we will have the tools to move through the anxiety and return to a place of equanimity where we can simply enjoy where we are in this moment and appreciate the wonder and beauty that life brings despite all of its uncertainty.