Beware the Toxic Feminine

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I might suggest that women have more to fear from other women then they do from men. Specifically, the threat about which I am referring is that which arises out of the toxic and/or patriarchally complicit woman.

The toxic patriarchal man is indeed a threat, but we know what we’re getting. The toxic masculine is easy to spot. They wear their violence like a badge of honor. Flexing their muscles. Waving their automatic weapons around. Proud of their objectification of women. Maintaining the adage, “spare the rod and spoil the child,” they treat everyone as inferior to them and worthy of their abuse.

The toxic feminine, in contrast, is sneaky and insidious. Talking sweet to your face. Hiding their true intentions. Making promises they never plan to keep. Fawning over and manipulating those who serve their cause. Feigning friendship and pretending trust when all they really want is to get you into their trap. Pretending confidence and strength when in truth they are jealous and insecure. These are the women who can’t stand to see other women succeed and who see all other women as competition.  These women pretend to be a source of support while undermining other women behind their back.

The toxic feminine is that which benefits from toxic masculinity and patriarchal culture. They thrive on what they “get” from being a woman of privilege and are happy to sell their souls for patriarchal attention. If another woman gets in their way, they will do everything in their power to destroy them. Politically, the toxic feminine are those who enthusiastically endorse the patriarchal, hierarchical, predominantly white status quo and who will viscously attack anything that challenges their position of perceived power. These are the women who willfully voted against the Equal Rights Amendment and who vote “Pro-Life” while eager to deny food, clothing, medical care, and shelter to those forced to give birth.

While the latter presents the extreme version of the toxic feminine, they are all a danger to the evolution of our society, and to women specifically. Beware of the Toxic Feminine

Healing the Patriarchal Wound

begins by reclaiming the Holy Feminine within us. Click on the images below to learn more and enroll in these Divine Feminine online master classes:

How the Ancestors Support Our Journey

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I want to thank you dear friend and former classmate, Diya Dannu for inviting me as a guest in her podcast, Mother’s Womb, Mother’s Milk. This is the first of a four-part series.

In this episode, we explore the following questions:

  • What do you understand self-actualization to be?
  • What was your process of self-actualization and how did your ancestral mothers contribute to this process?
  • Do you remember your dreams? Have they contributed to this journey?
  • What parts of your ancestry (geographical locations and cultural connections in addition to biology) have contributed?
  • Do any prehistoric figures (mythological) show up to be a guiding force?
  • Bring forth anything else you feel is relevant!

Learn more about Diya’s work:

Alaya A Dannu, MA (aka Diya Dannu) is completing her doctoral degree in Education Leadership for Change at Fielding University. Her topic of inquiry explores the transmission of ancestral memory across generations experienced through dreams, focusing on a re-emergent Mother Goddess tradition of her foremothers. She has written several essays on the subject matter, contributing to ezines and specialized platforms such as the blog for Feminism and Religion, Magoism, and DreamTime Magazine. Her three-year, three-month, and three-week ancestral pilgrimage which was crafted and revealed to her by her ancestors in her dreams, has served to reinforce the importance of knowing and honoring one’s origins, true identity, and purpose in life. She is a spiritual guide, creative artist, and sacred dancer. Her engagement with the creative arts is directly related to the images and teachings experienced in her dreams. She is also a member of the Diversity Advisory Committee of the International Association for the Study of Dreams, advocating for more awareness and inclusivity of BIPOC dreams and dreaming traditions within dream research and studies.

There Are No Shortcuts!

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On the journey toward self-realization, self-actualization, wholeness (whatever word you use for this), there are no shortcuts. And yet, I am continually confronted by those who refuse to do the work. 

  • They become bored and disinterested.
  • The work turns out to be “too hard.”
  • They are unwilling to let go of the things blocking their journey.
  • They bail out the first time their ego attachments are challenged.
  • They cling to their victimhood.
  • They give up the work in favor of shiny objects and false promises.
  • They think they can just think the right thoughts and become self-actualized.
  • They believe a gratitude practice alone will make them whole.
  • They believe they are already enlightened.
  • They think the journey ends with ascension.
  • They find every way to escape the real work by focusing on surface practices only.
  • When the journey doesn’t make them rich, bring them fame or glory, or bring the man/woman of their dreams, they become disinterested and walk away.

The journey of self-actualization has absolutely nothing to do with anything outside of us. It has everything to do with what is within. And it takes work.  HARD WORK. There are no shortcuts!

We cannot “Lala” our way to self-actualization. In fact, spiritual bypass guarantees the journey will fail. As the Buddhists say, “What we resist will persist.”  The more we resist the inherent drive to evolve and become whole, the more we will suffer because of it. The more we ignore the deep healing work that is required to become whole, the more we will suffer.  The more we ignore the inner obstacles to our freedom, the greater our suffering will be. This suffering, I have found, is more difficult than simply doing the work. We can suffer a life of quiet desperation, or uncover the inner peace, contentment, fulfillment, and joy that is inherent within us through the journey of self-realization.

The obstacles to self-actualization are many:

  • Unhealed wounds
  • Past conditioning
  • Ego-attachments
  • Trauma
  • Attachment to the status quo
  • Attachment to material/external results.
  • Anything we have suppressed or repressed.

The seven cardinal compulsions are all manifestations of these obstacles: pride, sloth, greed, envy, wrath, lust (for power), and gluttony.

The journey toward self-actualization invites us to remove these obstacles through deep processes of inner transformation and healing. With every obstacle that is removed, another aspect of our true nature becomes liberated, and we take another step toward the freedom of our original natures.

Jesus spoke of the difficulty of the journey toward self-actualization when he spoke of the narrow gate and the eye of the needle:

“Enter through the narrow gate, for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are many. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and those who find it are few in number.” Matthew 7: 13-14

 “Amen, I say to you, it will be difficult for one attached to material things to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for someone who is attached to material things to enter the kingdom of heaven.”  Matthew 19: 23-24

There are no shortcuts! If we truly seek wholeness and the inner fulfillment that comes through the journey of self-actualization we must do the work! 

Supporting Your Journey of Self-Actualization:

Authentic Freedom is a protocol and practice developed by Lauri Ann Lumby which supports you in identifying and then healing the fears that have kept you imprisoned by your past wounding and cultural conditioning.

Through recorded lessons, reading, discussion, mindfulness and creativity practices, you will be given the tools to identify, heal and transform the fears that:

There is not enough.
You are insignificant and have nothing of value to offer the world.
You cannot live as our most authentic selves.
You are not loved (or that love has to be earned or can be taken away).
You are not free to express our truth.
You do not know the truth.
You are alone.

At the end of this course, you will have the tools to support you in the continued liberation from your fears and the conditioning that has placed them there.

Learn more HERE

The Ghosts of Dale School

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The following is an excerpt from my subscription service Whispers from the Cave. Learn more HERE.

Between a risk of liability exposure, the increasing costs to maintain and staff outdoor rinks, and the climate change that has given us warmer and less predictable winters, the tradition of neighborhood skating rinks died. The joy of this tradition is still carried in the hearts of all who once enjoyed the Dale School rink, and the rink is perhaps what Dale School is most known for.

The rink and the ghosts. As it relates to the rink, there is a long time Oshkosh legend of a young boy who died on that rink. The story is that he fell and hit his head on the ice, suffering a serious concussion that resulted in a brain bleed. Today we understand that head injuries are sneaky and can lead to serious, often undetected complications. The boy’s injury took place long before MRI’s, but regardless, the legend is that he died on the spot.

I call this boy Billy and he lives as a spirit in the basement of Dale School (aka The Cave). I see him as a boy of nine or ten years old….the age when boys are just starting to experience the early symptoms of puberty….in emotions and actions if not physically. Billy presents to me as a good kid, mischievous and playful as are all boys of that age. The teachers of Dale School had a special place in their hearts for Billy as his home life wasn’t especially good. His father was “a drunk” and was rough with his wife and children. Billy, being the most energetic, often became the brunt of his father’s drunken tirades. Billy often came to school with the signs of having been hit, but in those days, there were no resources to advocate for a child. Billy found refuge at the school.  The teachers were kind and understanding and let him stay as long as they were able after the school day was complete. Billy was often lingered on the playground until the last employee went home.

The last to go home was Clarence. Clarence was the school’s custodian, groundkeeper, electrician, plumber, and repairman. Clarence is also the one who tended the boiler and made sure the school was well heated during the long and cold winter months. In the winter, Clarence tended the skating rink, adding water to the base when needed, and shoveling it clean from fresh snowfall.  Clarence was a single man who took pride in the school and until all the work was done, called it his home.

NOTE: This narrative was created through the creative imagination and channeling and based on what I have observed as ghosts in the place I live. Without verifiable evidence I cannot claim this narrative to represent facts.

Read more by subscribing to Whispers from the Cave. Learn more HERE.

When Our Light Attracts Darkness

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

When we seek to live the path of Love our light draws others toward us like a moth is drawn to the flame. Some are attracted to us because they recognize in us something of their own truth. Perhaps we carry within us something that will help them to harness and live their own light. Maybe we have experience and knowledge that will help them with their own healing, growth, and empowerment. In these situations, the relationship that unfolds is reciprocal.  We have an opportunity to share our gifts and the other has an opportunity to be empowered in their own. In this sharing we find fulfillment and so do they. Light begets light.

Not only does our light attract light, but it also attracts darkness. Some of this darkness may simply be woundedness in others that has a potential to find healing through the sharing of our gifts. When the drawing of this darkness empowers the other to seek and receive healing and do the work of further supporting that healing on their own, the experience, as explored above, is reciprocal. We have an opportunity to share our gifts and the other is healed and empowered through that sharing. Here, light transforms the darkness, thereby unleashing the light. 

Not all darkness drawn to us seeks this kind of healing and empowerment, however. Instead, it is the kind of darkness that seeks to feed off our light. Parasitical in nature, this is the darkness that takes and gives nothing back. This is the darkness that seeks to be enabled and refuses to do its own inner work.  This is the darkness that doesn’t want to be healed because they are content in their misery, blind to their own darkness, or gaining advantage over others through their darkness. Perhaps they enjoy being cruel to others or thrive off the pain they cause others through their non-loving actions.

These are examples of darkness that seeks the light off of which it can feed.  In some cases, this darkness is jealous of the light, so it feigns friendship, pretending to be a source of support when instead it means to destroy. In other cases, the darkness seeks to take advantage of those of a kind and generous nature. Sometimes the darkness senses our own vulnerability and seeks their own ends by using these vulnerabilities against us. In some cases, this darkness has no substance of its own and hopes that by simple association they too will be cast in a better light.  This is the kind of darkness that takes our light and uses it for its own end. Instead of experiencing fulfillment in engaging with this darkness, we are depleted. We may find ourselves feeling despairing or depressed, exhausted or fatigued, even physically and emotionally ill.

We cannot help that our light draws others toward us. What we can help (to some degree) is what we let in. We will never be perfect in our ability to discern between those drawn to us who will find empowerment with us, and those who seek only to take. But for the sake of our own wellbeing, we must seek to know and understand the signs and symptoms of parasites so that we might refuse them. We must also learn and cultivate practices for freeing and healing ourselves from the presence of parasites when we discover we have unwittingly let them in.

Darkness will always find a way to our light. We decide whether to let it in or how long to allow it to remain.

The above is a sample of content that is exclusive to subscribers to Whispers from the Cave.

Learn more and subscribe HERE.

Becoming Sovereign

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The Kabbalah is a mirror in which is reflected the fiery intelligence that has caused humanity to rise beyond all other species of creatures on the earth – a fiery intelligence that makes us self-aware and empowers us with the capacity of a conscious evolution far beyond our present state.  – Tau Malachi from his book, Gnosis of the Cosmic Christ

6 online lessons

Done at your own pace

With facilitated discussion

Learn more and enroll HERE

Purpose of the Kabbalah

to find answers to these basic questions

  • The destiny of humankind and the purpose of each individual.
  • The nature of the human soul and its connection to the Divine.
  • The nature and attributes of the Divine.
  • The inner meaning of the revealed scriptures.
  • The mysteries and power contained in the Hebrew letters.
  • The mystery of the divine incarnation and the divine plan on earth.

Benefits of engaging with the Kabbalah

  • Provides us with a map of the journey of consciousness evolution.
  • Supports us in understanding the various stages along that path.
  • Guides us in identifying and overcoming the challenges to our Soul’s evolution.
  • Empowers us in becoming sovereign beings – whole and complete within ourselves in our unique giftedness and purpose.

Becoming Sovereign provides an introduction to one of the most ancient and primordial mystical traditions in the world – the Kabbalah.

The Kabbalah, as it is known today, is the tradition of Jewish mysticism which emerged in written form during the middle ages, but whose oral tradition predates the written by hundreds, if not thousands of years. 

The Kabbalah, in its broadest sense is at once a cosmology, a belief system, and a practice. For our purposes here, Becoming Sovereign will introduce the basic tools of the Kabbalah including knowledge of:

  • The Tree of Life
  • The Sefirot (emanations of the Divine)
  • The Divine Name
  • The Hebrew Letters and their spiritual meanings
  • Angels and Archangels
  • The significance of the Holy Bride

The lessons provided here are excerpts of the longer and more in-depth training provided in the Order of Melchizedek Alchemist Training. Becoming Sovereign stands on its own as an introduction course, and can become a source of inspiration for taking your studies farther through the Order of Melchizedek Training. You might also deepen your knowledge and experience of the Kabbalah through our Mary Magdalene and the Path of the Holy Bride online training.

Learn more and enroll HERE

Beyond the Law of Attraction

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The Secret, The Law of Attraction, and New Thought Technology all espouse the idea that our thoughts dictate our reality – either drawing to us or standing in the way of our receiving. The common formula is:

Bad thoughts = Bad circumstances

Good thoughts = Good circumstances and the outcomes we desire

All three of these schools of thought are rooted in a) the law of cause and effect and b) the actions of the ego.

Cause and Effect

The law of cause and effect says that that every action or thought causes an equal effect. In the case of the law of attraction, the effect is determined by the negative or positive “vibration” of the action or thought. The law of cause and effect fits equally within the field of physics, as it does in the ideas of karma and natural law. The law of cause and effect is wholly dependent on dualistic consciousness and the physical realities that exist within the 2d and 3d worlds.

Ego

Egoic consciousness is that which presumes that as individuals we have control over the circumstance and outcomes of our lives. Egoic consciousness arises out of the perception of separation – that we are somehow separate from Source, Soul, ourselves, each other, and all of creation. Egoic consciousness places us in the position of being the makers of our own realities, in essence making ourselves into gods. Furthermore, egoic consciousness (also known as pride) tempts us into believing we are not only the makers of our realities, but that when the outcome is good, believing that we are somehow especially blessed by God. Alternatively, pride also tempts us into believing that when bad things happen to us, that God must be punishing us, or alternatively, that we are at fault for “thinking the wrong thoughts.”  Finally, it is ego that defines God as outside of us, and as a being who closely resembles human beings in thought, behavior, and actions.

Duality

The Law of Attraction (et.al) are based in duality and have their function solely in the 1d-3d worlds.  Because dimensions of consciousness are on a continuum, we may witness some remnants of the Law of Attraction at work in the 4d and 5d realms. Once we move beyond the 5d realm, however, these laws no longer apply. Neither is pride at work in our judgments of our reality.

Union

In the fifth dimension, we move from duality to union. In 5d we no longer see ourselves as separate from each other, creation, and God. Instead, we understand and are operating out of a place of oneness.  We feel the peace and harmony that comes forth from this state of union and we operate out of a state of love.

Consciousness Evolution

The fifth dimension is not, however, the final destination of our consciousness evolution. Beyond 5d we step forth into the vast realm of dimensions that are fluid in nature, undefinable, and varying in density as we move about this fluid realm. In 6d and beyond, not only has the perception of separation fallen away, so has the egoic function of judgment. Here we can no longer give ourselves credit for the circumstances of our lives, neither can we give the credit to that which some might call “God.”  Instead, we understand that we are simply a part of an ever moving and evolving creativity and that every individual and circumstance is part of that unfolding creation. Source is manifesting itself through all that is – both that which we may have formerly judged as good and bad.  Beyond 5d there is no judgment. Everything simply is – including the circumstances of our own life. Everything is simply unfolding according to the movement of Source, as itself and within all of creation. 

Beyond 5d

Arriving at the dimensions beyond 5d takes place in increments as we do the inner work of freeing ourselves from dualism. Freedom from dualism begins with healing the wounds, perceptions, and conditioning that have anchored us in duality – all that which has been rooted in judgment, separation, fear, shame, guilt, pride, sloth, lust for power, envy, competition, gluttony, hatred, and greed. Freedom from dualism transports us out of our discrimination, bigotry, comparison, otherism, and sexism, and brings us to a place of compassion, understanding, generosity, and acceptance.

Sovereign Participant

Beyond 5d we arrive at a place of inner sovereignty, where we have left behind the heavy work of self-transformation (there is always inner transformation to do but this is no longer our focus) and are now open to simply being a part of the never ending unfolding of creation. We come to accept the experience of our lives, simply as it is, trusting that it is all part of the great unfolding. Here there is no need to change what is, but simply to accept it and surrender to the flow, knowing and trusting that all that is coming forth in our lives is as Source intends it. Here we are a willing participant with the Universe in its unfolding. In this state, we are deeply attuned to the subtle movement of the Universe and to its guidance and direction in our lives and willingly respond to it. We also have become adept at refraining from the temptation to manipulate or attempt to control our lives by taking action that is not prompted by the inner promptings of Source, likely because we have learned better through our prior attempts to do otherwise. At more subtle levels of consciousness, the idea of freewill becomes no longer relevant, because what was formerly “our” will is now solely subject to the workings of Source.

Spiritual Obedience

This level of sovereignty is spoken of in both Hebrew and Christian scripture. Paul spoke of Jesus in the role of sovereign participant in his Letter to the Hebrews:

Though he was in the form of God,
he did not regard equality with God
as something to be grasped.
Rather, he emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave,
being born in human likeness.
Being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself,
and became obedient to death,
even death on a cross.

Phil 2: 6-8

Jesus himself spoke of this sovereign participation:

For I have come down from heaven
not to do my own will
but the will of him who sent me.

John 6: 38

And again:

I and the Father are one…

the Father is in me
and I am in the Father.

John 10: 30, 38b

It is only at this level of consciousness evolution that we can comprehend Jesus speaking of being One with Source (that which he called Abwoon which has been translated as Father) and understand the sovereign participation that allowed him to surrender to his own suffering and death, “not my will but yours be done (Luke 22:42)”.

Reflection Questions:  What have been your experiences with the Law of Attraction, etc.?

How are you being invited beyond 3d consciousness to sovereign participation?

Courses which support Sovereignty

When Our Heroes Fail Us

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 2 Comments

One of the top news articles this week is related to an incident where His Holiness the Dalai Lama (trigger warning) asked a little boy to suck his tongue. The compassionate part of me wants to hope that the Dalai Lama must be suffering from some degenerative cognitive condition to have behaved in such a way. The part of me that worked in the Catholic Church, and had firsthand witness of, and counseled many through the untold horrors of clerical abuse, suspects otherwise.

My experiences in the Catholic Church and otherwise have taught me the dangers of clericalism – no matter what robes the clerics are dressed in.  In the same way that the Roman collar does not make one immune to bad behavior, neither do the saffron or maroon robes of Buddhism. In fact, I’ve witnessed some of the worst abuses of power coming from those who claim to be Buddhist. While religious doctrine might tell us otherwise, no man is God. Therefore, no man is immune to the temptations of power, especially when that power is cloaked in perceived affection. Further, neither a celibate life nor spiritual practice elevates one beyond sensual pleasures, no matter how much one might argue otherwise.

We may never know if mental illness, arrested development, or perversion drove the Dalai Lama’s behavior. What we do know is that this behavior created a wave of shock and horror among those who understand the ramifications of his behavior. We also know that his spokespeople rushed to excuse and then defend the Lama’s actions, “Westerners are looking at this from a Western lens.”  (I call bullshit on that excuse. The Dalai Lama and his fellow monks have been immersed in Western culture since the 1950’s.  They should know better!)  We also know that the vast majority of those following this story are likely in shock and disbelief.  Finally, it is likely that many of the Dalai Lama’s followers and fans are trying to deny that it even happened.

This is what happens when our heroes fail. When those we have placed upon a pedestal reveal their humanness, we are hurled into the process of grief.  First, we try to deny that the event happened.  Then we try to bargain it away. In this bargaining we might try to make excuses for our hero or defend their actions as “really not that bad,” or “no big deal.” We might become defensive toward those who try to point out the so-called hero’s humanness. Once we have moved beyond denial and bargaining and can finally admit that perhaps our hero isn’t so perfect after all, and that the behavior was inappropriate or wrong, then we may become angry. We become enraged over the behavior, and even more so, we feel deeply betrayed which naturally triggers our wrath. We may find ourselves depressed and despondent over the disappointment and sense of betrayal. Finally, we might weep. Weeping for the loss of the hero and weeping for our own lost innocence.

No man is God. And yet, for the past 5000-10000 years, humanity has been putting individuals in the place of God. From tribal priests, to kings, to gurus, to popes, to lamas, to rabbis, to ministers, to movie and TV celebrities, to talk show hosts, to influencers, etc. human beings have turned to those outside of themselves as the source of truth and salvation. Institutions have created mythology, doctrine, and laws around these outside perceived authorities and have actively recruited people to worship them.

Through centuries of (often shame or fear-based) indoctrination, human beings have forgotten that the source of truth is within them and has been all along. While we may see our own truth reflected in the writings of the Dalai Lama, Jesus, Mohammed, Mother Teresa, Marianne Williamson, or Anandamayi Ma, the individual is not the source of that truth. Neither are they a god to be worshipped. Human beings, no matter how holy they are made out to be, are imperfect and flawed. 

Human beings, no matter how spiritual, will fail, and the higher the pedestal upon which we place them, the greater will be their fall. The remedy to this inevitable failure is that we stop making other human beings our gods and embrace the only true source of authority – that which resides within.

As it relates to the Dalai Lama, I pray that if he is cognitively impaired, that he be supported in getting help for his impairment. If he is not, and this was an act of arrested development or perversion, I pray that he, and the Tibetan community around him get the help they need. Even more, I pray for the child that he be assured that the actions of the Lama were wrong, and that his parents and those who care for him provide a safe and loving place where he can process the actions of a man he may have been led to believe was god.

The Authentic Freedom Protocol

supports you in accessing, discerning, and living from your own inner truth while helping you to identify and transcend the fears and unhealed wounds that might otherwise hinder you from living that truth.

Learn More HERE

When the Rejected Becomes the Cornerstone

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / 3 Comments

This week I was given a lived experience of a lesson I had planned for my online community. Instead, of being able to present the lesson, however, I was writhing on my couch in the lived experience of it. Interestingly, it is not unusual that I am required to live out a lesson before I’m able to share it.

The lesson I had planned was based on the following psalm:

The stone which the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.

Psalm 118

The Stone

This is how I came to live out the planned lesson:

I have a medical condition called chronic vestibular neuritis. What this means is layperson’s terms is that a virus caused permanent damage to my vestibular nerve.

From Wikipedia: The vestibular nerve plays an implicit role in maintaining blood pressure, maintaining balance control, spatial memory and spatial navigation during movement. 

Damage to the vestibular nerve can lead to intermittent and ongoing issues of vertigo, giddiness, sensitivity to light and sound, and migraines. This is exactly how I have experienced this disorder. I’ve exhausted all efforts in seeking a cure or effective treatment and have found neither. Instead, I’m stuck with the reality of this disorder:

  1. Due to this disorder, I can no longer drive on highways or long distances.
  2. Due to this disorder, I am often stricken with giddiness (feeling unbalanced, dizzy, or light headed).
  3. Due to this disorder, I am sometimes stricken with an excruciatingly painful migraine that might be limited to my head and neck, or sometimes encompasses my whole body.

Changes in barometric pressure or dramatic weather changes can trigger my symptoms. Wine is sometimes a trigger. Poor seating ergonomics and too much time on my computer are also triggers. Sometimes I can’t point my finger at what the cause might be. The position of the stars? A comet flying past? Solar flares?  Who knows!?

The Rejection

This week I was struck by the symptoms of this disorder and was forced to spend two days on the couch.

To say I hate that I have this condition would be an understatement.  Since 2016, when I was first stricken with the virus that caused vestibular nerve damage, I have struggled with the ongoing and intermittent symptoms. Mostly I have struggled with the limitations caused by this disorder.  I hate that I am no longer free to just get in my car and drive where I want.  I hate that I have to ask my friends or my children to drive me. I hate that there are some days when even local driving is excruciating – like on those bad weather days where the wind is blowing, snow is pouring down, and my windshield wipers are going. Between the pressure and the movement, I feel like I’m going to die.

My overachieving workaholic “needs to be productive to feel valued” self, hates that there are many days where I am completely unable to work because the pain, the light, the sounds, the smells, and any kind of movement forces me to retreat into darkness.  I writhe in pain while wallowing in the inner voices of chastisement telling me I’m being weak and lazy for not pushing through the pain to get things done. UGH!  (Who said the “protestant work ethic” was a good thing?  I’m not even Protestant!)

In short, chronic vestibular neuritis and all its accompanying symptoms has been a stone that I have rejected. I have hated this about myself. I have been frustrated at the medical professional’s inability to offer me an effective treatment or cure. Even the diagnosis took years to confirm (I knew what it was through my own research YEARS before my doctor could tell me what it was!). I have grown tired of all those well-meaning folks who try to offer up their own cures and treatments for something about which they do not know.

The Cornerstone

During all these many years of rejecting the stone of vestibular neuritis, has also been the whispering invitation of surrender and acceptance. After exhausting all other efforts, what choice does one really have?  I can continue to be angry, frustrated, resentful, impatient, and condemning of my symptoms, but what good does that do me?  Instead, (along with the accompanying symptoms of grief) I have tried to look at what this disorder might be inviting me into.  The invitation is really quite obvious and is known in what the disorder has forced me to do:

  1. Be vulnerable and humble enough to ask for and accept help with those things I can no longer do for myself (like drive).
  2. Take advantage of my good days. Do what I can do, without pushing myself and let go of the rest.
  3. Surrender to the bad days. It’s ok to do nothing. It’s ok to cancel plans. It’s ok to forego commitments.

The more subtle invitation has been to reorder and restructure my life away from my workaholic tendencies, and toward a gentler, more ease-full flow. No longer do I feel the need to fit into the standard American model of work. I have more and more fully embraced the fact that I couldn’t work a “regular job” if I tried. Only in running my own business do I have the freedom to work in a way that is necessary to maintain my health (oh yeah…..there’s that degenerative kidney disease I have too) and respond to my unpredictably changing symptoms.

In doing this, the rejected stone of chronic illness has become the cornerstone upon which the current foundation of my life is established.

What have you rejected about your own life experience that might be seeking to become a cornerstone?

Learn more about Soul School

and all we have to offer in the way of online courses, one-on-one spiritual counseling, books, and more HERE.

Mary Magdalene’s Message to Humanity

/ Lauri Ann Lumby / Leave a comment

An Eternal Easter Message

Mary Magdalene speaks to all of humanity about the current state of our consciousness revolution.  We are at a time of swift endings and great new beginnings.  We are observing the crucifixion and death of all that has been built on fear, power and control, as we are ushering in the second coming of humanity – the birth of the age of love and a joining together in unity consciousness.  She invites us all to step forth out of the tombs we have created for ourselves which have been made of our hesitation and fear and into the love we were meant to be.

My dear sisters and brothers,

Thank you for joining with me in celebration of Resurrection.  Two thousand years ago, I stood at the entrance of the tomb into which we had laid my Beloved, Yeshua and beheld the miracle and the truth of resurrection.  Whether you believe in the literal truth of Yeshua dying and rising from the dead, or prefer to think of it more as a mystical or metaphorical event, it matters not.  Yeshua proved to all that fear (death) has no power over the original nature of the human soul which is LOVE. Yeshua showed us, through his own example that the path to resurrection (freedom and love) was in conquering death (fear).

Yeshua was a normal man who discovered the keys to transcending the inherent suffering of the human experience – how to move beyond the fear, perceived separation, false perceptions and ego attachments that are the cause of human suffering and toward the peace, love and joy that are our original nature.  In this state of peace, we are whole and we know that we are One – within ourselves, with our Divine Source, with each other and with all of creation.  This is the truth that Yeshua promised would set us free.  The resurrection was proof that what Yeshua taught was true.  He then ordained me, Mary, given the title Magdalene, to share the message of the resurrection with the other disciples and with all who would listen.

Today, we commemorate the proof of LOVE – that fear/death has no power over the LOVE which made us and which is our true origin as unique expressions of our Mother/Father God.  We are the Divine seeking its expression in the world.  As such, we were meant, not to live in separation, but as ONE HUMAN RACE working toward the goal of love for the common good of the all.  When we come to know this sense of Oneness within ourselves, all separation falls away – we are no longer separated by gender, race, nation, religion, politics, sexual orientation, or by any of the infinite number of ways in which human beings, living in fear, create separation between ourselves and our fellow human beings.  We are one species, one world, one universe.  When we know this truth, we work for no other purpose except for peace and harmony between, not only all human beings, but all of creation.  We live as ONE, partaking of the great abundance of this Mother Earth, working to ensure that the needs of all are met – not just the needs of a powerful (fearful) few. 

This is the time we have all been waiting for.  It is here.  Now.  Our children have spoken and that which has been built on fear, power and control is in the midst of its own self-destruction.  Very soon (in this moment), Love will reign. This is the Second Coming Yeshua promised – not that which has been spoken of by those who have misunderstood Yeshua’s words.  Yeshua will not descend upon us in a fiery cloud.  Instead, the Second Coming is when the Christ (the Divine spark of Love that has lain dormant in humanity since the moment we chose separation over love), is awakened and born in each and every one of us.  You might call this heralded time Ascension, Enlightenment, Nirvana, the Death of the Kali Yuga, the Kingdom of God, the New Age, the Age of Aquarius.  The name matters not.  What matters is that you/we are all awakening to the Unconditional Love that we are and that we were born to know in the midst of the human experience.  It is here.  It is now.

As this is the Second Coming of the Christ, it is also the Second Coming of the Magdalene, for I am the Christ.  Unlike my Beloved who ascended to the plane of Divine Oneness, I have remained with you my sisters and brothers.  Present with you throughout these millennia, hidden away in the secret, mystical, contemplative, shamanic, esoteric, magical traditions of the West and in the East. Speaking and whispering into the hearts of the mystics.  Reaching into the consciousness of your prophets, activists and holy people.  I am the voice of Wisdom.  I am the Sophia.  I am the Great and Dark Mother, awakening you out of your complacency and into the Light.  I am compelling you to seek love, to demand peace, to work for justice.  I have been with you, silently guiding you through the truth that dwells deep in your heart – the place where you know what is right and good and merciful for the all.   I have never left you, but have remained until what Yeshua envisioned came to pass.    The time has come.  The time is now.  This is what we celebrate on this Resurrection Day…not the rising of Yeshua from the death….but YOUR rising from the dead!  Awake my sisters and brothers.  Come forth out of your tombs.  Accept your calling to be vessels of the Divine, turning our world from fear into love.

Amen!  Amen!  Alleluia!

Love,

Mary, called Magdalene

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